#But my tooth was already like. Chipped. There's a big gap where the filling is

[shima-draws]

I’ve been having really bad toothaches the past couple days so I went to the dentist to see what was going on and. I have to get a crown. Not even a FUN crown. The tooth type of crown that is really expensive and has a time consuming procedure and I

[creampuffqueen]

Just Like This | Chapter One

Summary: Rayla and Callum have been best friends since elementary school. Now, years later, Rayla is discovering new feelings for her best friend. The only problem: she's about 99% sure he doesn't think of her in the same way. Not willing to risk their friendship, Rayla continues to hide her feelings for Callum. How long until the truth comes out?

a/n: Hey everyone! Here it is, the greatly anticipated Rayllum high school au! Please please please reblog this, because Tumblr won't show this post in the main tags due to an affiliate link! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

Word Count: 3372

Warnings: Language

Read on Ao3

~~~~

Sunday, September 30th, 2020

Katolis Supermarket, 5:31 PM

“Who wrote this list?” Rayla complained loudly, stalking behind Callum at the grocery store, shaking the piece of paper in his face. Her fellow sophomore was pushing a cart around, eternally focused on the task ahead.

“Well, Claudia suggested it, but everyone else added on,” Callum replied, not even looking at her. Stopping in the middle of the isle, he grabbed a 12-pack of soda and loaded it in the cart. “What’s next?”

Looking over the extensive list again, Rayla frowned. “Uh, it says… ‘those little animal cookie things with sprinkles, you know the ones’.”

Callum finally turned to look at her, a wide grin on his face as they both said “Soren,” in unison.

“Jinx,” Rayla giggled, “You owe me a soda.”

“Okay… just take one from the pack when we get home?”

Both teenagers continued through the store, Rayla getting bored of walking and hanging off the front of the cart, laughing as Callum made a big deal of struggling to push them around.

She supposed they should be hurrying. Evening was approaching quickly, and soon all their friends would be over at Callum’s place to study. Callum had dragged her off to the grocery store to get snacks for their cram session, considering she lived only a street over and had a car.

“We’re all going to be sick by the end of the night,” Rayla sighed, loading more snacks into the cart.

“Well, at least we’ll be awake,” Callum, ever cheerful, turned his head around to grin at her.

At his smile, Rayla felt her heart give a small wayward flutter, though she squished it down quickly. Tonight was important; she needed to pass this test to keep her grade up, and it wouldn’t help if she spent the entire night mulling over how cute her best friend’s smile looked.

“Yeah,” She chuckled, trying to pull herself back to the present. Keep it together, Rayla.

They got their unhealthy amount of junk food, collectively winced at the price, bought it anyway, and set about loading it in the backseat of Rayla’s car.

In no time at all Rayla was driving, Callum reclining in the passenger seat. With the radio cranked up, neither felt the need to talk, content to sit in the comfortable silence.

It was hard to believe that they’d been friends for eight years now. Rayla could still remember the first time they met like it was yesterday.

She was eight years old, in second grade, having just moved to a new school after her parents left on a military tour and she went to live with her uncles. Her first day of school had gone off without a hitch.

That is, until she met Callum at recess.

Content to play by herself, Rayla had been making use of the free time by pretending to build a fort under the slide. While pretending to hammer in nails, she noticed a small group of kids nearby. Two boys and a girl.

While she couldn’t make out all the words, the body language she saw was more than enough. The bigger boy, a head of blond hair, was pointing at the smaller, brown-haired boy, and laughing. The girl, black hair tied in two pigtail braids, was looking between them, unsure of what to do.

Curious eight-year-old Rayla snuck up, for she’d always been good at sneaking, and listened in on the conversation.

“Soren, shut up, he’s going to cry!” The girl said.

“Oh, so little Callum’s a crybaby now?” The boy, Soren, taunted.

“I’m not a crybaby, Soren!” The other boy shouted, though he couldn’t hide the sniffle at the end of his sentence.

“Oooh, Callum’s crying! Who’s gonna help him, his dad? Oh wait-”

Soren didn’t get to finish his sentence.

Well, she thought as she sat in the principal’s office twenty minutes later, Runaan will be happy to know that I’m learning something in my karate class.

All four kids were in the office, sitting in chairs in front of the desk. Callum and the other girl, Claudia, were both still sniffling from residual tears. Soren, fresh from the nurse’s office, was holding an ice pack over a rapidly blackening eye.

The door opened, and in came the principal, shaking her head with a sigh.

“You three again?”

“We didn’t do anything!” Soren shouted, voice whistling through the new gap in his teeth. Oh yeah, she’d knocked a tooth out as well. “She started it!”

“Well you were being really mean to that other kid!” Rayla protested. She and Soren glared at each other from their respective chairs, accusatory fingers pointed straight out.

“I wasn’t being mean, I was just joking!” Soren explained, “Callum’s my friend!”

“Well Soren, what you said was really mean-” Claudia interjected, but the boy, who Rayla had learned was her brother, interrupted.

“Callum, you know I was joking, right?”

“Well…” Soren’s face fell as Callum dropped his gaze to his lap. “It did kind of hurt my feelings, Soren…”

“Wait, you’re friends?” Rayla exclaimed, glancing curiously between both boys. “I thought he was bullying you! And my parents and uncles always said you have to stand up to bullies and-”

“I’m not a bully!” Soren shouted. Voices began to rise between them again, and the principal was forced to interject.

“All of you, quiet down. I’m going to talk with you each individually, and we’ll see what happens then. Callum, come with me. The rest of you: play nice.”

In the end, Rayla got suspended for two days for fighting, and Soren got one day for bullying. Despite the massive lecture Runaan and Ethari subjected her to, Rayla couldn’t help but feel like she’d done the right thing in the end.

When she returned to school, she was surprised to find Callum approach her at recess, a little paper bag clutched shyly in his hands.

“Sorry my friends and I got you in trouble,” He said, passing the bag to her. Opening it, Rayla’s face split into a huge grin at the sight of two tart-things waiting for her, filled with jelly.

“Soren’s usually pretty nice,” Callum continued, “But he doesn’t know when to stop talking. If you hadn’t stepped in, he would have said something mean without thinking, I’m sure. So you kind of helped both of us, in a way.”

“Oh. Well, you’re welcome, I guess. And thanks for the tarts.”

She was about to turn away and enjoy her spoils, but then Callum kept talking.

“Do you want to come play with us? Me and Claudia are pretending to do magic, and Soren’s a knight. You can do magic with us, if you want.”

Well, this game was certainly right up her alley. “I’ll play,” Rayla conceded, “But only if I get to be an elf.”

Callum grinned broadly, pointing to where the two siblings were playing. “Of course.”

~~~~

“The snacks are here!” Rayla called into the house, arms laden with shopping bags. Callum shut the door behind them, similarly burdened with the case of soda.

The pounding of feet sounded overhead, and several heads poked over the stairwell to glimpse the pair in the kitchen. “Finally!” Soren cheered, racing downstairs to try and rifle through the bags Rayla was carrying.

“Not yet, you lump,” Rayla scolded, pushing past the senior boy, “We’ve got to get upstairs at least.”

“Thanks for going to get snacks,” Claudia called, and her thanks was echoed by the other kids there. Callum and Rayla both shrugged, and made their way upstairs to the game room, where they’d all be studying.

Sitting on the various bean bag chairs and couches, the rest of the study group cheered when the food and drinks arrived. Andromeda, Callisto, Ram, Skor, and Marcos all leapt up to snatch the snacks they wanted. When everyone was sitting again, food in hand, Callum gave a dramatic clearing of his throat, turning all the heads in the room towards him.

“So, uh, thanks for coming over. Hopefully we can all actually get some studying done, since, you know, that’s what we’re here for.” He fixed a firm glance on the two couples in the room. “Ground rules: no making out in my house, don’t be super messy, and also please actually study. Soren, no idea what you’re doing here since you’ve already taken this history class, but okay.”

The older boy shrugged, taking a big gulp of his soda. “Moral support. A welcome distraction.”

Callum clapped his hands together once. “Okay then. I actually made a schedule for this, and if we follow it, we can cover all of the sections by… midnight, I think. 11 pm if we work really fast.”

“You made a schedule for studying?” Callisto asked in disbelief. Andromeda laughed, throwing an arm over her partner’s shoulder.

“Yes, I made a schedule for studying, I think it’s going to be very helpful!” Callum defended, crossing his arms over his chest. Even talking with the other two people, his green eyes somehow still managed to find Rayla’s.

She met his gaze, just for a second, heart pounding, before she looked away again. “Well, guys, if Callum wants to make a study schedule, good for him. Let’s just get started; I really need to pass this test.”

“Since when have you been worried about grades, Rayla?” Skor snorted, reclining in a beanbag chair, dumping spicy chips into his mouth.

“Since I’m in four extracurriculars and if I don’t pass, I don’t play.”

“Try-hard,” Soren coughed from his seat. Rayla just flashed him her middle finger, eliciting wild laughter from the rest of the room.

“Guys,” Callum whined, “I’m trying to be productive-”

“Okay, let’s start,” Claudia said, placing a gentle hand on Callum’s arm. It took everything Rayla had not to glare at the other girl, biting back the unwarranted flash of jealousy.

That’s all in the past. We figured it out.

Usually, she could forget just how close Callum was with Soren and Claudia. But then, something like this would happen, and she’d be reminded that before he met her, it was the siblings who were his best friends.

Having known them his whole life, it was no surprise that he’d developed a massive crush on Claudia in middle school. And he never shut up about it.

His confession at the end of seventh grade had very nearly torn their friend group to shreds. He wanted to ask her to the end of year dance, and when Claudia accepted he was ecstatic. Rayla had been happy for him, and just hoped that when they started dating, they wouldn’t be weird about it and make her and Soren uncomfortable.

But as it turned out, Claudia only thought of Callum as a friend. When she told him, Callum was crushed.

Rayla could still remember opening up her front door to see her best friend standing there, tears streaking down his face.

“Rayla, I just- I can’t believe how stupid I am-”

She pulled him into a fierce hug, and didn’t relinquish her grip on him until his mother came to pick him up. At school the next day, nobody could stop her wrath as she stalked up to Claudia and demanded answers.

“How could you?! You know how Callum feels about you, and you led him on anyway!” Rayla shouted.

“I didn’t want to hurt his feelings!” Claudia insisted, “And I do know how he feels and I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea-”

“No, I know what flirting looks like, and you led him on! He believed that you felt the same way!”

Claudia looked on the verge of tears, and some sick part of Rayla was glad for it. Let her feel bad for her actions, let her feel the same way Callum was feeling.

“Look, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings. I just… I don’t see Callum in that way.”

“Then why’d you keep flirting with him?” Rayla’s voice was dangerously low. Their shouting match had attracted a small audience in the school cafeteria.

“I…” She was at a loss for words.

“You know what?” Rayla snapped, “Save it for someone who cares. Explain yourself to Callum, not me. It’s him who needs the apology.”

The next few weeks were tense. Hardly any of them spoke to each other. Even though Soren was in high school and had nothing to do with the drama, he still sided with his sister, like Rayla knew he would.

Things worked out. Slowly, but surely, they worked out. But not without a lot of tears from everyone involved, a lot of yelling, a lot of accusations. Things worked out.

But even after Claudia and Callum were on speaking terms again, he decided to ditch the dance. Rayla, who never was going in the first place, was more than happy to offer up her couch for a night of movie watching and junk food eating. And sure, Claudia’s Instagram photos were cute, but for Rayla, nothing could beat the fun she was having with her best friend, right here.

Rayla was pretty sure that was when she’d started to fall in love with him. Or, more accurately, when she realized that she already had fallen in love with him.

However, confessing your love to your best friend after a recent heartbreak seemed like a bad idea. So she kept it to herself.

Which, she supposed, was how she found herself here, three years later, still madly in love with her best friend who was none the wiser, getting jealous over a relationship she both knew was purely innocent and also she had no claim over anyway.

Cool, Rayla, very cool.

Shoving down her stupid feelings, Rayla listened as Callum went over his plan for the evening. Review through chapter 2, take a 15 minute break, review through chapter 4, continue pattern until they got through all the chapters they needed.

The plan was met with a loud groan of complaint from Soren’s end. “Callum, why are you even doing this? You literally have a photographic memory.”

“Well, you guys don’t, so really I’m helping all of you!”

“I mean…” Rayla snorted, “Soren does have a point. Why are you so worried about studying, Callum?”

The teenage boy scratched at his neck awkwardly. “Well, uh, it’s kind of embarrassing, but… I’ve only skimmed for answers this entire time. I need to actually read the passages to remember it.”

Rayla just rolled her eyes. “Callum. Everyone on earth just skims for answers. We know you’re all goody two-shoes, teacher’s pet, but chill. You’re going to be fine.”

“How are you so chill, Rayla?” Callum demanded, “Weren’t you just freaking out, like, two seconds ago? Hello, Miss I’m-in-every-sport-imaginable?”

“Changing the subject!” Rayla declared loudly, “Open up the textbook, Callum!”

~~~~

“Time check,” Ram moaned from where his face was pressed into one of the beanbag chairs, “How much longer?”

“We’re at-” Callum attempted to respond, but was cut off by a yawn.

“Chapter six?” Rayla asked, though she wasn’t too sure herself. All the words were beginning to jumble together on the pages. At some point her notecards had gotten mixed up, and random dates and events were scattered all over the room.

“No, the time,” Ram complained. The other boy sat up, brushing his shaggy white hair from his eyes. “What time is it? My curfew is 11:30.”

Callisto grabbed their phone and took a glance. “11:15.”

“Ok, let’s review,” Callum suggested. However, the entire room gave a loud groan of complaint.

“My brain is melting!” Soren cried, dramatically tossing his head into Marcos’s lap. His boyfriend rolled his eyes at his antics, though he threaded his fingers through the other boy’s blond hair.

“Soren, you don’t have to take this test tomorrow!” Claudia snapped, “Don’t start whining!” The girl looked almost ready to start pulling her hair out.

“Alright,” Andromeda sighed, “My mom’s calling; she’s probably here to pick me up. Thanks for this, Callum. If I find a quizlet I’ll send it in the groupchat, okay?”

“Yes!” Skor cheered, “Quizlet is my lifesaver!”

“Pass me some Doritos, Rayla,” Callum muttered in quiet defeat. Rayla hummed in agreement, grabbing the chip bag from the pile of snacks nearby. Her friend was so tired that he didn’t even complain when she took a couple for herself.

One by one, the room began to empty. Callisto’s dad came to pick them up, Ram agreed to drive Skor home, and Claudia, Soren, and Marcos piled into Soren’s little car to drive off into the night.

That just left Rayla. And Callum. Alone.

“Place is a mess,” Callum sighed, taking in all the damage. Although they’d started out pretty clean, as the night wore on everyone got lazier and started just piling the trash where they were sitting. Crumbs spilled over the carpet, and empty soda cans rolled about.

“Let me help clean,” Rayla offered, “I mean, some of the mess is mine.” She gestured to the notecards spilled everywhere. Her mind was a bit fuzzy from exhaustion, but she was pretty sure she and Soren had started throwing them at each other at one point.

“No, it’s fine-” Callum sputtered, but Rayla just rolled her eyes.

“Let me help. Then we can both go to bed and you won’t get in trouble for the mess.” She left no room for argument, and started gathering up all the garbage and stuffing it in the empty grocery bags.

They worked in companionable silence, just tidying up the room. Rayla knew his house well enough to know where everything went, and tossed out all the garbage and swept up the lingering crumbs. Soon enough, the room looked nearly spotless again.

“See, fast!” Rayla chuckled. She glanced at her phone. “Just in time, too. Runaan’s asking where I am.”

Callum surprised her with a sudden hug, catching her off guard for a moment before she returned it, trying to calm her fluttering heart.

It’s just a hug. Friends hug all the time, don’t get all excited.

“Thanks for coming,” Callum said, a tiny bit breathlessly, “I know you were worried about the test and I wanted to help, sorry it got kind of out of hand.”

“You… organized this all… for me?” Rayla hoped her face wasn’t as red as it felt.

“Well, yeah,” He laughed, “Even though you probably didn’t need it. You know all the material really well.”

“Only thanks to you, and you know that,” Giving him a friendly punch to the shoulder, Rayla couldn’t contain her grin. “I do feel better prepared, though. I’ll pass. If my brain doesn’t turn to mush first.”

“You’ll ace it,” Callum assured her, “I’m sure of it.”

His green eyes were so bright. And his smile so genuine. Rayla returned it, albeit with less enthusiasm. “Thanks.” Her voice sounded stupidly high-pitched, even to her.

He held her gaze for another long moment before glancing down, at the buzzing phone in her hand that she hadn’t even noticed, too caught up in staring. “You should go. Get some sleep for the test tomorrow, huh?”

“Yeah,” Rayla breathed, “You too. I’ll see in English tomorrow.”

It was an effort to leave the room. To walk down the stairs, quietly so she wouldn’t wake his parents, and out the front door. To open up her door and get in the car, turn the key in the ignition.

The entire street was silent. That’s how it always was, she supposed. The first to arrive and the last to leave. A glance up told her Callum was staring out his bedroom window at her, watching her leave.

With a heavy sigh, Rayla put the car in reverse. Pulled out of the driveway.

She wasn’t naive. Callum had always been big on physical contact, and it had never meant anything more than he cared. She wasn’t willing to put her heart on the line like that, not when she was sure he didn’t like her that way.

Rayla was a risk taker. Always had been. But this? To risk the relationship she already had with her best friend? That was one risk she would never be willing to take.

~~~~

a/n: Poor Rayla! I would like to apologize to everyone in advance; the pining is not going to get better for a LONG TIME

Tag List: (comment to be added or removed)

@hipster-rapunzel

[outroshooky]

everything i wanted | ljh

⇢ genre: oneshot (fo4!au) (a touch of angst, mostly fluff)

⇢ pairing: lee jihoon x reader

⇢ word count: 2.4k

⇢ audio: everything i wanted / billie eilish

⇢ warnings: mentions of death, grief, guns, alcohol. this is a post-apocalyptic au even if the piece itself is fluffy; such themes are evident.

⇢ a/n: a huge thank you to @hereisleo​ for writing the fo4!au that inspired this lovely little mess. i love the concept so much and after sitting on it for a few months as well as drawing inspiration from recent life developments and a conversation with my therapist, i’m proud to present my first fic for seventeen! there’s a bit of my heart in this fic. enjoy!

“And how did you deal with that, all of the violence? All of the threats, the danger, all of it on a daily basis?”

“I mean, I’ve lived every day with the feeling like I was going to die anyway, so it wasn’t anything new, really. Just kind of like, oh well. I might die today. Not much I can do about it.”

When you were young, you dreamt of an apartment in the city. Not a big one or a fancy penthouse, just someplace to rest your head for the night, to dream and wonder and hope and even pray, best as your little heart could. An apartment, perhaps with a cat and a spare room with an easel and windows that sprawled from floor to ceiling. Like you saw in those magazines from so long ago, the ones with frayed edges and holes burned through every other letter. Easy to imagine a world with smooth monochrome, a polished Mr. Handy in the kitchen, a warm bed, a full heart.

No matter how much murky fog settled, rolling through the trees like a sickly ocean of green, it never diminished the glow of the stars up above. It was a story you told yourself, that the stars were little pinpricks poked in the soft blanket of cosmos, draped over the world like a celestial cathedral ceiling. Like so many stories you told yourself, in fact. The radroaches in the basement were just making friends, not eating away at the damp wood. The gunshots far-off weren’t territorial disputes between groups of Gunners, only fireworks sent up in unknown celebration. Celebrating life, maybe— one day more with dirt between your toes, one day less with food on your plate.

Yes the days marched on, one by one by one. No matter how hard you begged, pleaded, argued with the universe to stop the sun from rising just for a minute, an hour, a day, liquid light would unfailing seep into each corner of the world every morning, pausing just for a breath. One singular breath, a slice between pure gold and total black that bled pink and purple and orange and sometimes green, too. A cut into the side of reality as the stars glittered just over the edge of cold, cruel awakening.

You met awakening on a Tuesday morning, when voices hollered from the jagged remains of your shattered bedroom window. It was a one-house settlement; you stood no chance against the band of men and women with war paint on their faces and chipped pipe pistols. Not enough time to grab the shotgun, not enough time to grab the money. Your fingers twisted in the bedsheets, but you remembered the commands to stay quiet and still; if you didn’t move a muscle, didn’t move an inch, they wouldn’t look for more. If you screwed your little eyes shut and didn’t look, they couldn’t see you. If you wriggled your little body under the bed with a pillow crammed over your head, one ear to the floor, they couldn’t hear you. If you bit down hard on your lip, you wouldn’t cry. Not even when you heard the sullen thud of bodies echoing up the stairs, not even when the boots stopped inches from your face in all of their dusty leather glory.

In your childhood bedroom, a single lightbulb hung from a wire strung from the ceiling. Somewhat rustic, but what wasn’t on that little farm? A single light illuminated the moth-eaten rug stretched over the splintering floorboards, the corner desk dragged in from a local middle school abandoned years and years ago, the patchwork teddy bear with a loose eye but the softest paws. It wasn’t much, but it was yours. Your world. Yours, glowing by the light of a single burning filament, a lowly star dangling from on high. Even as the boots and jeers and howls faded, the red dwarf smoldered in its glass cradle. It kindled as you shook like a leaf in the wind, as night crumbled bleak and whistled through the open front door, banging in its frame. It spluttered as you finally, finally eased yourself out from under those rusted bedsprings, splinters pricking your palms in all of their painful glory. And finally, as you closed the top fold of your knapsack, slipping a 10mm into the holster on your belt, it fluttered once more and died. The generator had failed, choking without its daily dose of oil. The sky had fallen; the world had ended twice now, it seemed. Once before you had even been born, and once a mere ten years after.

Ten years after, and another ten. Twenty years since the day you came into the world squirming and screeching, and ten years since the day it had rotted at the seams. Nine since you raided abandoned house after abandoned house day after day, taking only what you could carry and bedding wherever you could. Six since you’d found yourself in a settlement of ghouls as you traversed the Commonwealth, a rifle slung over your back and your belly full of mulberries. Five since you’d bought a mutt off a trader you met by Concorde and named him Nate, because it was the name you’d always wanted to give a dog if you’d had one as a child. Four since you’d sold him to a family in Sanctuary Hills, to a child whose eyes shone with joy just as his joints grated with something a little less than human. Three since you’d gotten into a skirmish with a pack of Super Mutants, had both legs broken at the knees, and were dumped on a side road outside of Mass Bay Medical Center. 

Three years since you had calmly waited for death to creep up in all of his silent glory. Perhaps he would stride down the alley confident, courageous. Maybe he’d take a seat, invite himself to coffee and conversation. What you wouldn’t give for a cup of the shittiest coffee you’d ever tasted. Or maybe a swig of vodka.

Three years since it was not death who crept up on you, but a blonde-haired raider whose shaggy locks hung down past his jawline, cut cold as a knife. Three years since twelve others followed him to encircle a wanderer who had already given up. Raiders. A death sentence. This is where life ended, not all those years ago but here, now, in this shitty alley outnumbered thirteen to one.

Jeonghan told you later that you blacked out. A move you, for a long time, considered cowardly. You couldn’t face the end regardless of how painful it was. But this is when Seungkwan interjects to note how much blood you had lost and how you really couldn’t blame yourself at all. Soonyoung notes how carefully they had to move you, how they tied their jackets together to make a sling, fought tooth and nail for every half-mile gained to the so-called Jewel of the Commonwealth. Seungcheol and Hansol are quiet, remembering. Jihoon’s hand winds around yours, his fingers interlocking over your calloused knuckles.

A naked bulb hangs from the ceiling from a single wire. An apartment. Beyond spacious for Diamond City living, with a double loft and rooftop seating. There’s a barbecue grill that Chan wants to fix up sometime, if he can find the right parts for it. You can see the stars on the nights when the stadium lights aren’t too bright, buzzing in the stillness. As still as you can get in a world that is always in motion, flexing and burning and rebuilding over and over. 

Commitment in the Commonwealth was rare. Why commit with the threat of everything you care about being yanked away from you day by day by day? Why care for anything less than survival when even bare necessity is a privilege? Why build any sort of lasting commitment when in the end, it will all fall through as the sky collapses in on itself with nary a rush of breath to her name?

There was, however, something that the world neglected to tell you. The world, universe, whatever you want to call it— she has a sense of humor, that one. Because in the midst of the pain and anger and trauma, there was a boy out there who did not have to look heavenward to find the stars, for they nestled in the umber glint of his eyes. There was a boy with a heart bigger than the roar of the sea and quieter than the hiss of the foam, a heart that opened itself without question, with everything to lose. His lips curve more perfectly than the edges of any petal, his hands smaller and finer than any pre-war relic. Jihoon is rough, a gem uncut by the sands of time, the grains of struggle. He is beautiful.

Yours. His is yours. You are his. You haven’t been anybody’s in a long, long time. You were a daughter once. Your parents’. And then you weren’t. That too, torn away from you. But here you find yourself, blankets wrapped around your waist, head on his chest, your leg wrapped around his own. Again, somebody’s. His. Yours.

He’s always held you like this, not too tight, but not as if you are about to slip from his grasp. Secure. Security was a foreign concept until he taught it to you. Broke you down easily; once, you didn’t shatter under his gaze like you have for so long. He’d buy you a bottle and take you for a stroll through the narrow streets of Diamond City, silent in that special way of his. Very simply, he would listen. 

It had been so long since anybody listened. In the space he gave, you filled the gap with stories: stories of being young, of wandering too close to a Deathclaw den, of remembering the barest tendrils of compassion from a mother’s face blurred beyond recognition. It was late one night and you were rushing to get the words out, tripping over each other, recounting the boots and the gunshots and the thudding of bodies and—

He is there, everywhere, all around you. His arms snug against your back, your face in his neck as you wept and wept and wept. Ten years’ worth of trauma and terror and running from oneself, and yet you could not find a single ounce of rejection in Lee Jihoon. Not a meager scrap left out for the dogs. Just his hand in your hair and his lips at your temple, and his fingers trembling as he murmurs in your ear. He wishes he could take every jagged edge of pain away, pluck it from your soul and watch it whirl as it sinks to the bottom. He knows he can’t rip out every shard, but he swears to try his best. Your eyelids brush his neck as they flutter shut and squeeze him ever closer.

 Love is a word immense in nature and terrifying in practice, looming like a creaking skyscraper over the land of torment. But with him, it went without question: he loves you. You love him. He didn’t need to form or force out the syllables when he insisted on cradling you that night, staying awake to fend off any nightmares that might force their way into your shell of safety. A completed Xanadu as the devil’s puppet strings play a fearsome melody right outside the door.

When Jihoon sleeps, he exhales through his nose, breath tickling your scalp. His fingers somehow always find your own, even when he is in the sweet throes of dreaming. He cradles you every night, arm around your waist. He speaks in his sleep too, sometimes slurred syllables, sometimes a soft, drowsy sound. If he wakes to relieve himself, he’ll slip out from under the covers and return with the same gentleness he left with. You raise your arm and he snuggles underneath, your cheek to his back. Security. It is so much more with him.

Jihoon had asked you once how you settled in the midst of the dust, how you dealt with the echoes of your past. They crept up on you in the unbridled landscape of your dreams, twisted every hope into a malignant thing whose boots always found themselves mere inches from your face. It was hard to dial back the adrenaline, the pulsing undercurrent in every interaction that told you death was near, be careful, be careful. It was a world he straddled, but did not inhabit; he could not fathom setting up furniture, tidying up the corners. You were frank with him, perhaps too frank; it was all too easy when you lived with that threat every single day, the thought that you could die at any moment. It was comfortably numb, like nursing a bottle of Bobrov’s. How ironic, then, that the boy who straddled two worlds was the one to pull you out of your own by his sheer goodness, raw, unhinged.

Two worlds inhabited in one lifetime. Daughter, companion. Titles, meaningless until meaning is breathed into them by the power of a maker. Two naked lightbulbs hang from two rusted ceilings. An apartment in the city. Everything you wanted, in as much capacity as it could be given. The monochrome may be tarnished and it might get drafty in the winter, but there’s a warm bed inhabited by two bodies, not just one. Two. Two becoming one by unspoken word, and with that thought, Jihoon stirs.

He squirms. A sleepy groan. Your arm slips over his shoulder as he rolls onto his side to face you, gritty eyes cracking open. He whispers to you sweet things, gentle things. “Nightmare?”

“Nah.” You toy with the ends of his hair; his eyelids flutter. “Just thinking.”

He’s fighting consciousness for every word, drowsiness eminent in the way he shuffles closer to your warmth by his side. “Wan’ talk about it?”

“In the morning, baby.” He buries his head in your chest. You bury a smile in his hair. “Sleep.”

Jihoon is goodness and light and comfort. Understanding and tenderness and fondness, unadulterated, unfiltered. Everything you dreamt of in the rosy hues cast by a child’s single wish, stitched in the threads of the quilt of the universe.

His breathing slows. You press a kiss to his forehead, murmur a promise against the bridge of his nose.

The corner of his mouth pulls, just a hair. His fingers twitch. “I love you too.”

The bare bulb flickers, and with one careful movement, you tug on the string and extinguish the light.

[watchdogg]

A Guide: Raw Feeding for Dogs

Don’t have time to make BARF? Not sold on it? If you want to know what dry foods are best check this out.

What’s on the menu? BARF (Biologically Appropriate Raw Food). This recipe is based off of Dr. Ian Billinghurst’s own recipe provided in his book Give Your Dog a Bone. Great read, would recommend.

However, there are a couple ingredients he discusses which have been recently proven as poor dietry choices for dogs. For example, he speaks of the inclusion of milk and garlic which have been discovered, through scientific study, to make dogs quite ill. Therefore the recipe I have written below excludes any ingredients I have found research on that are detrimental to your dog’s health.

BARF is essentially everything you would find in a grain-free dry dog food, but fresh!

BARF = 50% green mix + 50% meat (30% mince + 20% offal)!

DAILY INTAKE = 60% BARF + 40% meaty bone

I DO NOT APPROVE of the Canine Ancestral Diet or Prey Model diet, which is 80% meat. I have a seperate blog post discussing why (click here to find out more)!

EVERYTHING YOU MAKE MUST BE BLENDED TOGETHER INTO A CONSOLIDATED MUSH! Your dog has to eat everything, you must not give it the choice to pick certain things out of their bowl, it all has to go in their tummy! This is how we get to deficiencies!

I will post a seperate description of my exact routine, and how I measure out everything my girl needs as an example so you have something to compare to.

DISCLAIMER: If your vet has told you that your pet MUST eat a prescription diet due to health condition/allergy, please listen to them. Every health issue has causes and triggers, there are many, and I cannot possibly cover all of them in this post. Does this mean there aren't raw options for dogs with health issues or allegeries? No. There certainly are. For example, if your dog is allergic to wheat they can go on a wheat-free dry food OR BARF. But I cannot be responsible for your failings in proper research. SO, this means that if you have a dog with congenital issues, like kidney problems, please research into what that means before going against a prescription dry or wet food diet.

Appropriate vegetables include:

- Silver beet

- Bok choy

- Celery

- Carrots

- Sugar beet

Appropriate fruits include:

- Apples

- Oranges

- Blueberries

- Pears

REMINDER: you absolutely MUST vitamise fruits and vegetables. Your dog does not have molars like that of a horse for example, they cannot grind fibre, they use their molars for snapping large food items into smaller chunks. Herbivores chew for a reason. Plant cells are surrounded by a cellulose, and most guts do not have the enzymes required to dissolve cell walls, hence chewing. DOGS ALSO CANNOT DIGEST CELLULOSE, and they do not have the mechanics required to break down plant matter into a digestible form. I learned the function of teeth during my studies into paleontology, where dental analysis is vital. (1)

SUPPLEMENTS: TO BE BLENDED INTO YOUR BARF MIX 

the listed supplements contain the vitamins and omegas your dog needs to thrive. These vitamins already naturally exist in the vegatables and meats listed. HOWEVER, if your dog is not eating some kind of fish every day for example, then they need to be digesting at least flaxseed oil to make up for this. This is just one example. It is important to fill in any possible gaps, and these supplements make sure there aren’t any ;)

If you are feeding your dog fish oil you MUST also feed vitamin E oil, the dog’s body will use up stores of Vitamin E to process fish oil which oxidises very easily! If you are using one of the below supplements, you do not need to use fish oil. If you are using a supplement like megaderm or Omega blend, follow the directions on the bottle! So, this means don’t go adding it when you are making BARF, add upon feeding it to your dog.

SUPPLEMENTS INCLUDE:

- Megaderm (CONTAINS: vitamin B7, B6, A, E, omega 6&3) dosage instructions on bottle (can be bought on PetCircle)

OR

- Vets All Natural Omega Blend (CONTAINS: flaxseed oil (omega-6 and omega-3 fatty acids), shark liver oil (omega-3 and vitamin A), sunflower oil (omega-6) and wheat germ oil (omega-3)) (can be bought on PetCircle)

OR

- just straight flaxseed oil (human-grade is the same stuff) 2 or 3 desert spoons

OTHER SUPPLEMENTS:

- Kelp powder (2-3 tsp) (contains: 60 different minerals and vitamins and 21 amino acids)

- Green tripe (contains: probiotics, essential fatty acids and digestive enzymes)

- Sardines (great for coat health)

- Tongue (fatty, good for active dogs)

- Green lipped muscle (aimed towards joint health, good for large breeds)

- Liver (contains vitamin A, B vitamins, iron, copper, zinc, essential fatty acids) 2 tblsp per day is recommended amount for medium dogs (I buy a pack of chicken livers (500g) and chuck it into the barf mix. This works out to be 17g perday)

DO NOT OVER FEED FATTY ACID SUPPLEMENTATION, keep to the recommended dose! Large quantities can cause Seborrhea oleosa (bad dandruff). It is possible to have too much of a good thing.

It is really important you do not overdose on any supplement. For example, glucosamine is great for old joints but it is also rated a top poison for dogs because of its potential for overdosing. (2)

WHAT MEAT AND ORGANS ARE BEST?

MEAT SHOULD NOT BE COOKED when fed to dogs. This decreases protein digestability and destroys essential amino acids such as lysine and methionine. That being said, meat is NOT a complete food, it is deficient in a lot of vitamins dogs need! So veggies are still a must.

Mince is great, but if you can find mince with ground bone included that would be even better. If you are living in Melbourne, The Saltiest Dog (in Thornbury) is a great store to visit to purchase such a thing. Try to stay away from ‘pet meats’, like those sold in Woolworths or Coles. They contain harmful preservatives (3). The cleaner/more human grade the better. Research into local raw food stores around you and ask about the meat they get in/what if any preservatives are in their meat.

Kangaroo is an environmentally friendly choice! They do not rely on the production of grain to survive, and they are indigenous to the land (their feet don’t compact soil and turn it infertile). It is the most humane way of harvesting red meat if you think about their lives up until the point of death.

The leaner the meat the better! Kangaroo is very lean! Turkey is another great option, but if you are afraid of salmonella, stay away from poultry. Variability of protein is not as important as what parts of the body you are feeding your dog. They need muscle, bone, and offal (tongue, heart, liver, etc.)!

I generally go by: 30% mince+bone & 20% offal.

BONES:

NEVER FEED COOKED BONES! They will splinter and cause internal injury.

Is it dangerous to feed raw bones? NO!

It is imperitive in the BARF diet that your dog is getting some kind of whole bone to eat EVERY DAY. But don’t be silly about it, think about your dog’s size. If you have a mini poodle, you should be giving it chicken necks, not beef weight bearing bones. The bones you give should be soft enough so that they don’t chip your dog’s teeth. This also means NO weight bearing bones till the dog is over 6 months old.

I have talked to customers at Petbarn who just happen to have silly dogs who won’t chew bones at all, and instead swallow them whole. If this is the case, please stick to turkey/duck/chicken necks. These are harder to choke on beause the bones are so tiny. Once again, if you fear potential bacteria or worm risks, freeze your meat before feeding (this will kill a lot of what you are scared of). DO NOT GIVE YOUR DOG FROZEN BONES, they will chip a tooth.

Bones act like fibre. They help everything move along in their intestines. They also contain vitamins and proteins they need. You can learn more about bone benefits in Dr. Ian Billinghurst’s book Give Your Dog a Bone.

I give my dogs a bone of some description every morning. Generally, it is a chicken carcass and once a week they get a roo rib or beef vertebrae (you can buy a bag of 'broth bones' from Woolworths which are great) to really get their teeth into.

It is really important that your dog is chewing on something every day. Whether it be a bone or a Kong/dental toy. It is imperitive for mental and dental health. The action of chewing for a dog is the equivelant of a human doing a sudoku or crossword.

HOW MUCH TO FEED:

This model is based off of the Raw&Fresh model which you can find on their website (https://rawandfresh.com.au/collections/treats), this also happens to be where I buy my bones from.

Essentially, you pick whether to feed 2-5% based on your dogs age and activity level. For example, senior dogs need to be eating more protein and fat because they lose muscle mass faster. A dog who has a high activity level needs more energy and a dog who is overweight should be fed less.

Generally, they should be getting 2-3%.

Whatever you decide on, this should be split into two meals. You'll find that two meals per day reduces their scavenging behaviour. I tend to feed the bone proportion in the morning and the patty mix at night.

The key to feeding your dog a raw diet is to WATCH. Watch your dog's weight. It is as simple as that. Watch how they put on weight, if they are becoming too skinny or overweight. Watch and adjust accordingly.

KEEP THIS FORUMLA IN MIND:

BARF = 50% green mix + 50% meat (30% mince + 20% offal)!

DAILY INTAKE = 60% BARF + 40% meaty bone

FEEDING LARGE BREEDS:

- BARF = time and money. Sometimes it can be unrealistic when you have a large breed.

- It can be a lot preparing a batch of food for a large breed, which can potentially be up to 2kg per day depending on how big the dog is. Ideally you would want to be making a batch that lasts the month, which we can individually pack and freeze. But with larger breeds that can get difficult when you are busy or you have a tiny freezer.

- Luckily their daily intake is not 100% BARF

- My GSD, Juni, requires 600g per day as a 30kg dog with a medium activity level. That means I'd need to make 18kg of BARF to last her a month. Yikes.

- I have found two ways around this:

- First of all, 600g is her daily intake, which means a bit of that (around 250g) can be meaty bone.

- I also cut some of her food with Ziwi Peak. This is an air-dried (NOT BAKED) dog food. Once the bone has been eaten, that leaves ~350g left to go.

- Her weight requires 350g of Ziwi Peak per day according to their feeding guide. Therefore, she gets 150g of Ziwi Peak and 150g of BARF

- I increase her BARF intake depending on the bone she gets

- The end result is I only have to make 4.6kg for the month if my life is turning out to be hectic and busy. Not to mention freezer space being an issue.

- When I find I have more time, this increases to 9kg and I don't need to feed Ziwi Peak at all.

1. You can learn more about dental function in mammals here:Smith, Kathleen, Wall, Christine. (2005). Ingestion in Mammals. In Encyclopedia of Life Sciences (Vol. 10, pp. 272-277). John Wiley Sons, Ltd. https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/Ingestion-in-Mammals-Wall-Smith/596099f8125d6ee16f40c858fe144613a225ae14

2. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/42594946_Accidental_overdosage_of_ joint_supplements_in_dogs

Nobles IJ, Khan S. Multiorgan dysfunction syndrome secondary to joint supplement overdosage in a dog. Can Vet J. 2015;56(4):361-364. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4357907/

3. https://kb.rspca.org.au/knowledge-base/are-preservatives-in-pet-food-products-a-concern/

[hqkj]

take back home girl — kaia.

date & location — saturday september 28, 2019 / maia’s childhood home tl;dr — the newly engaged couple makes the journey to maia’s hometown. kj officially meets his soon-to-be mother-in-law featuring — @maiimitchell, jill mitchell, mentions of charlie mitchell trigger warning(s) — NONE

Maia: Maia didn't care how tired she was from the long flight, she was just so happy be back in Sydney. From the second she stepped foot in the airport she was radiating happiness and an excitement that was unmatched by anyone else in the terminal. She was practically pulling KJ the whole way to their Uber, not wanting to waste a single second dilly dallying around. Their time there was limited and she couldn't bare wasting a second of precious time with her family. "I can't believe we're here!" she squealed, looking out the window and seeing the city she'd called home for half her life pass by. "Oh right! I have to text my Mum and tell her we're on our way." The smile on her face was so big that it nearly hurt her cheeks! She had been home a few months ago but so much had changed between then and now that she hadn't been able to share with her best friend, the person she told everything too. Being able to introduce KJ to her Mum and show off the beautiful ring he had made meant everything to her. After tapping out a text message she reached over to take KJ's hand, squeezing it gently. "Hey, you have no reason to be nervous okay?"

KJ: Normally, when KJ was en route to a con appearance, he fought a bout of nerves for a majority of his travels there; unease over the unknown, of potentially saying the wrong thing or letting a spoiler slip out, or even of being too weird with fans at a meet and greet. This time was no different - he was nervous - but this time, the nerves had nothing to do with the impending convention; rather, the antics that would be happening during the hours that he wasn’t in front of crowds of cheering fans. He’d spent a majority of the flight playing out the same scene in his head: meeting Maia’s mom. It always started the same, with them walking up to the front door, and always ended the same, with her hating his guts. No matter what he said in this internal Groundhog Day situation, he never seemed to find the right combination of things to say and questions to ask and smiles to smile in order to gain her approval. But now the wheels were touching down and KJ was almost out of time; the self torture would soon end and the scene in his head would manifest itself in reality. It wasn’t until they climbed into a waiting car that Maia reached over and gave his hand a squeeze. She spoke. KJ rolled his eyes. “Easy for you to say,” he grumbled, a small smile tugging at the edges of his lips. “You’ve already gotten that coveted gold star of approval from the parents.”

Maia: “Doesn’t mean I wasn’t nervous!” Maia leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I know my Mum better than anyone else and I like to think I know you pretty well too. Trust me, she’s going to love you too. If you think things aren’t going smoothly just mention bringing me home for Christmas and you’ll be her new favourite in minutes!” The brunette chuckled softly, hoping that would give him some safety net to lean on. Not that she thought he’d need one! Jill hadn’t shut up about how good it was to see her daughter so happy ever since the spring when KJ came back into her life. The comments had only become more frequent when KJ proposed. While Jill worried about her daughter she also just wanted her to be happy, and there was no doubt KJ had made her the happiest she’d ever been. “Plus, Charlie loves you and has been hyping you up for weeks!”

KJ: KJ nodded, pulling her against his chest to press a kiss atop her head. “I just love you so damn much...my world is pretty much be over if she doesn’t sign off on me...on us. With everything that happened between us last year, I wouldn’t blame her if she had hesitations,” he mused, not wanting to believe his own words and hoping they wouldn’t come true. The car was flying down the highway and KJ felt a smidge guilty that he wanted everything to slow down; he knew Maia was excited to be home and wanted every possible second with her family. He laughed softly, nodding. “Charlie boy’s one of the real ones. Christmas, got it. I’ll have to remember to keep that in my back pocket just in case.” In no time, the car was turning down a residential street, eventually slowing to a stop in front of a house that he’d only ever seen in photos. “Here we go,” KJ said, stealing one final kiss before sliding out of the car to grab their bags from the back. There was no going back now.

Maia: Maia stayed close to her fiancé, tucking her arms around him and hugging him tightly.  “I love you too,” she muttered softly listening to him talk about his fears. Tipping her head up she looked at KJ, “hey, I never said anything bad about you. Not once.  She knows we met and I had feelings for you. She knows we were together... even though I hadn’t left Rudy yet. And she knows I love you so much it hurts and couldn’t imagine my life without you. It may not have been ideal given the circumstances but I don’t regret it for a second. Look at us now— were in love and engaged and I know without a doubt that you’re the man I want to spent my life with. Life isn’t always simple and easy, sometimes you have to cross the line to get to something great.” Her hand slid along his jawline tipping his head down enough that she could kiss him. “We’ll be okay, I promise.” Catching a glimpse of a familiar street out the corner or her eye made her perk up and look away from him. Feeling a little guilty as a smile spread across her face, her mums house coming into view. Before she could say anymore words of encouragement KJ leaned over to kiss her. The two slipped out of the car and before KJ could even get their bags out of the trunk the front door was open and Jill let out a happy squeal at the sight of her baby girl. “There she is!” She called out as she came down the front steps to Maia, pulling her into a tight hug. When they finally broke apart maia pulled back and slipped back to KJs side. “Finally I get to properly introduce you to!! Mum this is KJ.. Kaje, this is my Mum.” For a second Jill looked KJ over, a tough look on her face like she was studying him. Finally she broke into a soft laugh and reached out to hug KJ. “Well it’s about time innit?” She laughed as she squeezed him, rocking him back and forth in a bear hug.

KJ: Until this moment, he hadn’t known exactly what and how much Maia had told her mom about their past but, knowing how close they were, he assumed she’d been filling in on the highs and lows at the very least. Maia painted a lovely picture of their relationship, somehow managing to not only justify but romanticize their past mistakes, adulterous and not...he only hoped that her mom saw it the same way. “Here’s to crossing lines,” he echoed, that twang of guilt he carried with him over the origin of their love story fading with every passing second. Maia was and always would be a girl worth fighting for. KJ startled at the unexpected thwack of the wooden door slamming against the house; he had only a portion of a second to recover before Jill’s loud voice rang out, hopping down the steps and making a beeline for her wayward daughter who’d finally come home. Every instinct KJ had told him not to let go of Maia’s hand in his until his brain caught up and convinced his dumb body that it would be a stupid idea to withhold a daughter from her mother, especially when trying to gain said mothers’ seal of approval. Her watched as the two women embraced, suddenly unsure of what to do with his hands, his insides turning over and over as they broke apart and Maia’s formally introduced him. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Jill,” KJ said, silently ecstatic he hadn’t completely butchered that simple sentence. The car shifted into gear and pulled off the curb, quickly driving back the way they’d come. The longest five seconds of his life passed at glacial speed before Jill reached out to wrap him in a strong hug, an enormous smile on her face. And just like that, his nerves were gone. She reminded him of his own mum. “Our mums are gonna get on so well,” he murmured to Maia as Jill led them into the house, lugging the bags one step behind the two who walked in perfect step.

Maia: Maia watched as Jill eyed KJ down for what felt like forever! Her eyed widened as she shot her Mum a look. Not that Jill saw it, she was too preoccupied with the boy in front next to her. Maia let out a deep sigh of relief as the two most important people in her life hugged one another. “I definitely think they would,” She chuckled softly. Once her Mum let KJ go she turned back to her daughter and linked their arms together, ushering her back into her childhood home. “I’ll put on some tea. There are some cookies waiting for you two in the living room. I wasn’t sure what you liked so I made chocolate chip for you and peanut butter my little peanut.” Maia was already blushing at the sound of her childhood nickname. “Mum!” She hissed. When Jill disappeared into the kitchen Maia turned back to KJ, slipping her hand into his now free hands. “This is it. This is home. This is where I grew up after my dad left.” The smile on her face showing a fondness and sense of pride. Tugging at his hand she let him into the living room, where pictures of a young gap toothed girl hung on the wall. Showing her slow progression to puberty or as the kids would say today, her glow up. “I can believe you’re here... I kind of feel like I’m dreaming!”

KJ: So far, Maia’s mom was like something out of a 1950s magazine on perfect moms; she didn’t know what kind of cookies were his favorite so she made two different kinds? The house was more or less spotless, the scene of chocolate and peanut butter wafting through the air, filling the place. For the briefest of moments, KJ forgot to be nervous, his guard completely down in Jill’s absence. He smiled down at her as she slipped her hand in his and modestly showed off their surroundings before pulling him deeper into the home. “This seems like a great place to grow up, *peanut*,” KJ said, emphasizing the last word as a joke, his gaze sweeping along the walls and tables that were packed with photos. It seemed every viable surface bore pictures of Maia, Charlie, and Jill, the sweetest little family ever. “I’m glad we’re finally doing this,” he said softly, fingertips brushing against a gold brushed frame that held in it a young Maia and Charlie, mid laugh, Charlie riding on Maia’s back. “So my suspicions are true then...you’ve been perfect since the day you were born.” Some mild clattering rang out from the kitchen and KJ, without even thinking, made a beeline. “Here, let me help you,” he said to Jill who had been trying to balance multiple glasses of water and another full platter of cookies. Taking the glasses from her, KJ followed her back out to where Maia was waiting, beaming at him with pride obvious in her eyes. Yes, his goal was to make Jill like and trust him, but the ultimate goal - as with every other situation in his life - was to be a guy Maia was proud to be with. He just hoped this moment wasn’t anything different.

Maia: Maia poked at his side as he rested his elbow on top of her head. “Get outta here!” she laughed, her smile still spread across her face as he dipped down to kiss her. The two were still very much wrapped up in their honeymoon phase. Maia looked at him with hearts in her eyes and butterflies in her stomach. So completely in love with him. She hoped this feeling never went away because she felt more alive and happy with him than she’d felt in her whole life. KJ Apa had turned her whole world upside down and she never wanted it to go back to the way it was. Reaching out she took the cup from him, giggling softly as he kissed her cheek. She knew damn well he was censoring himself around her Mum. The KJ she knew didn’t hold back kisses very often, only when he was nervous of whose watchful eyes were on them. Which typically only happened in the presents of their parents. Like somehow they were 13 again and trying to keep things PG around their parents. “Thank god I’m not going back to Vancouver with you next week.Your trainer already gives me hell for you slacking off on your work outs. If Alex knew I let you eat all these cookies I’d never hear the end of it.” Maia chuckled as she shook her head at him. Jill just smiled fondly watching the two love birds banter back and forth like an old married couple. “Charlie will have them eaten before he goes to bed. I can barely keep the cupboards stocked with that boy around.” Jill too shook her head and in that moment it was clear where Maia got it from. Making herself more comfortable Maia slipped back on the sofa, tucking her legs under herself so that she could rest her cup of tea in her lap. To her this was paradise. Having the two people she loved most in the world in the room together was all she needed to fill her heart and make her feel whole. When KJ started to apologize her gaze moved to him, watching him carefully as he laid it all out for Jill. The cool laid back Mum nodded as her daughters fiancé opened up about their engagement, silently impressed that her blessing was important to him. “You’re right, it is 2019 and I did raise my little peanut to make decisions for herself and carve out her own destiny. You don’t need my permission to marry my daughter KJ but it means a lot that you want my blessing to do so.” Jill leaned forward to put her mug on the coffee table, her eyes never leaving the pair on the couch across from her. “I was nervous when Maia told me you’d proposed so soon. I was worried it was too much too soon and one of you would end up hurt. Sitting here now and seeing you too together is a whole other story though.” Jill paused to collect her thoughts.“My Maia has been guarded since the day her Dad left. She doesn’t let people in and she doesn’t let her emotions get the best of her. She’s calculated, controlled and cautious. When she said she was engaged I couldn’t figure out how in the world anyone could get a girl like that to say yes to marriage in the first place. I didn’t think she’d let anyone in.. ever. But sitting here now I see a whole new Maia. I see a smile she can’t hold back and I think I heard a genuine giggle earlier… which I don’t think I’ve ever heard before! She has a glow around her that I didn’t think I’d ever see again. I was nervous KJ, I won’t lie. But sitting here today it makes sense. You make my Maia happier than I’ve ever seen her and given her a love that broke through walls she’d spend decades building up. “ Her words were soft and sincere, in a way that even had Maia misty eyed and emotional. “Son, you have my blessing — AS LONG AS you promise to keep that smile on her face for the rest of her life because I’m already getting used to it and don’t want a world where my little girl isn’t happy as all hell.”

KJ: Through every move she made, Jill’s eyes never left his, not once. But her stare wasn’t hard or cold or threatening in anyway; she brown eyes were soft and welcoming and reminded him so much of the eyes of the girl he loved. It was because of this that KJ knew he needed to be open and honest with every thought and every question that would potentially arise from this conversation. “I know things have moved fast or, at least, seem like they have but it doesn’t really feel like it...not to me, anyway,” KJ replied, every word as honest as he could make it. Looking away from Jill, he cast his gaze sideways, finding Maia’s profile and focusing in on the slight upward turn at the corner of her lips. “I feel like I’ve known your daughter my entire life. We’ve already been through so much of life’s ugliest moments together...I had to find a way to show her that I’m in this, that I’m not going anywhere, and that she’s the person I want by my side for all the other good and bad moments life will inevitably throw at us.” KJ couldn’t help but get emotional as Jill spoke, his eyes glassing over as she went on about Maia’s past, about the defense mechanisms she had been forced to rely on when her father had walked out on their family. “I hate that the world was hurting her long before she and I met. I hate that I wasn’t there for her to lean on but, like you said, I want to help her break down those walls. I want to help carry some of that burden with her.” His thoughts may have been directed at Jill but his gaze was still sat upon the girl sitting beside him, as if he was speaking directly to her. Turning his head back towards Jill, he continued, “She’s really lucky to have a mum that still goes out of her way to guard her heart. I’m just trying to be that person when you have to be here and she has to be there." In a small movement, KJ wrapped the arm closer to Maia around her waist, craving just a tiny bit of physical closeness from her, a physical manifestation of the words and promises he’d been airing to her mum. Jill finished her thoughts with a smile and her blessing; KJ’s small smile spreading into his wide lopsided grin as he tightened his grip on Maia, pressing a kiss atop her head. “I promise, Jill, hand to God, I promise. Nothing makes me happier than seeing that smile of hers so it’s a pretty beneficial arrangement for both of us,” he said with a light laugh, standing and rounding the coffee table before pulling Jill into a hug. “Sorry,” he said, pulling away, warm embarrassment creeping up his neck. “I’m a hugger. But definitely shoulda asked first.” When she pulled him back into an embraced, he glanced over at Maia and there it was: that smile that had the hearts of everyone in the room. “I love you,” he mouthed, knowing in that moment that he would spend the rest of his life enchanted by that smile and the girl who wore it.

Maia: Jill kept her eyes on KJ, listening closely to what he said. Wanting to be fair and allow him to speak his peace. Knowing in her heart that he meant it when he said he wanted to spend his life with Maia. “Maia, what spell did you put on this boy? He’s absolutely smitten!” There was a fond smile on her face as she teased the pair in front of her, laughing softly as she tried to make light of things a little bit. This was a conversation that would be remembered for the rest of their lives and she didn’t want it to all be serious stares and emotional confessions. What Jill wasn’t prepared for was the way that KJ reacted to hearing about Maia’s troubled childhood and the effects of her father leaving. The misty eyed boy staring back at her truly cared and she knew he’d do whatever he could to make sure Maia never hurt like that again. It was then that KJ earned her utmost trust. “You’re here now and that’s what matters.” Watching as her slipped his arm around Maia drawing her in close, she hoped the world would be kind to them and allow them to live this blissfully happy for as long as possible. Maia scooted closer to him, giving his knee a soft squeeze to thank him for his words. KJ was her rock and she knew she could lean on him through anything. He’d help her navigate whatever life through at her, that was for sure.“You hear that peanut? All the times you’re a lucky lady, even if you do drone on about all the times I made you do more chores than Charlie and work too hard.” Jill stuck her tongue out at Maia before looking back at KJ. “I’m happy to be passing that job over to you now. You be careful with that heart, I’m putting a lot of trust in you KJ and if you break it I will whoop that arse so fast!” She warned, wagging her finger at him. Her tone half playful and half serious. Welcoming the hug Jill stood up and gave KJ a big tight hug, whispering “welcome to the family kiddo” in his ear. Maia felt misty eyed watching KJ and her Mum hug and get on so well. “I love you too”, she mouthed back at him a big rosy cheeked smile forming there after. There was no doubt in anyones minds that in that moment she was madly in love with him. The way she watched him with hearts in her eyes was enough to make anyone believe in true love. Jill included. “Alright love birds, I have to go round to the shop and pick up a few more things from the store and pick Charlie up from Rugby practice. You two get settled in… and no funny business under my roof, you hear?” She narrowed her eyes at them to try and instill some level of fear before making her way into the hall to fetch her purse and keys.

[osmw1]

Poison-Wielding Fugitive   Chapter 28

“Hmm…” “You don’t have to worry about balance.”

I’ve had my fair share of MMORPGs. I played when my friends needed someone to fill a role. But I couldn’t always play with my friends. Right now, our problem is filling whatever gap we have in our party, but we’ve got our assumptions wrong.

Certainly, specialized classes are ultimately stronger than regular classes and it may be good for team comp too. However, if we lose any party members, we stand to lose a lot. It might be easier to explain this way. Imagine a party of three: a Warrior, Priest, and Mage. The party definitely looks well-balanced. Everybody has their own role. But what if you take out the Priest? Would they lose the ability to make battle? The team’s ability to heal is now very limited and that would make fighting difficult. If you split everyone up to specific roles, you create a dependence on your teammates. It’s got its pros and cons.

It might be good to be able to help out when needed. Perhaps instead of a Warrior, you can have a Paladin who can do some light healing as well. Or maybe have a Red Mage, who can use both black and white magic. When your Warrior is wounded and out of the fight, your Priest might fare well if they have proficiency in close-quarter combat. There’s no rule about how you absolutely have to specialize in your role. No one said you can’t be a jack of all trades. Well… it would be nice if a single person can do everything, but realistically, that’s a little naïve. And if you could, you wouldn’t need comrades.

“You also don’t need to try to merely support how Muu and I already are. It might be easier to think of how you can add yourself in.”

Of course, this party is only until they figure out and prove that I’m the guy on the wanted poster. It wouldn’t be bad for us to experiment with different formations for experience’s sake.

“I’ve only been the rearguard up ‘til now, but I can leave the back to you and take the middle. It doesn’t really matter either, since I can be effective at both the front or the back.”

“Muu, muu.”

Muu agrees with me as well.

“If we have Muu fight in the front the whole time, he’d probably get worn out and we’d have to head back home. So, it’s not that we don’t need a healer either.” “… alright. Then I’ll be the rearguard and support you and Muu with magic.” “Great. Then let’s head back to town and change jobs… no, then we’d have to double back. I’ll just have you remain as a Chemist for now and we can slay and harvest here in the swamp.” “Okay.”

With that, we walk into the toxic swamp.

Normally, we only go until the entrance of the dungeon. But the swamp is pretty big after all, so there’s still more to the back. I was thinking it’d be nice to slay and gather in the dungeon, but a warning came from Veno. Arleaf’s equipment won’t protect her from the toxic gas around the second floor. Even though her gas mask seems pretty heavy-duty… Though it wouldn’t be impossible for her to head in the dungeon, she’ll have a hard time fighting down there. So instead, we compromised and headed deeper into the swamp.

The monsters in the back of the swamp only differs a little than the ones we’ve already seen. A floating cell-like monsters called Burnt Umber Volvox appeared, and along with it, a Reed Grey Roach… manhole-sized nightmarish monstrosities. The former is a ball that moves by jumping around and was easily pierced through by shots from my crossbow. Poison was somewhat effective against it as well.

The Reed Grey Roach… hmm, it moves around quickly, making it hard to deal with. It’s good at dodging too. It doesn’t seem too aggressive though, so as long as we don’t get too close to them, we should be fine. Muu cleaves with his axe and misses. Seemingly as retaliation, he sprayed his spores as an area of effect attack and then gave the roach an uppercut with its right fist. This turned out to be such a fierce fight.

“Fire Bullet!”

From behind me comes a fireball launched by Arleaf, heading towards the Reed Grey Roach. It missed… but the fire seems to be chasing the Reed Grey Roach. The fire blazed a trail on the ground and burnt the roach to death.

‘Reed Grey Roaches secrete a large volume of oil on their surface, making fire attacks more effective physical attacks. It matters not how quickly the roach moves; it still secretes oil while doing so. Hence, it is easy to ignite and burn. Thou must think it to be an insect, however, it is a viscous fluid… a type of slime.’

That’s quite the strange list of attributes. Where does the oil come from, where does it go?

‘The oil is a part of its body. It does not disappear. The core simply bears an uncanny resemblance to an insect.’

Whatever it is, it gives me the creeps and I don’t really want to fight another one. But more importantly, I got to see Arleaf use magic. Pretty impressive stuff.

‘Fire Bullet. It is beginner’s fire magic and not a particularly difficult spell to use.’

Veno pulls up a bunch of information regarding the spell Arleaf had casted and begins to explain. I’ve said it before, but I need to sit down and process it, so show me later.

‘And this is Flame of Megiddo.’

As he says that, Veno shows me the difference between Fire Bullet and Flame of Megiddo in a zoomed-out point of view. A hundred Fire Bullets couldn’t even compare to a single Flame of Megiddo. I know it’s amazing and all but show it to me afterwards. Veno acts like he’s been alone for too long. Finally, he’s made a friend and so he’s always trying to get more attention.

‘Hmph… I am not needy! I desire not attention from thee!’

That totally doesn’t prove my point.

‘It seems like no matter what I say, thine opinion of me shall change not. Thou shall see! Do not make light of a dragon!’

Yeah, yeah. You’re helpful at explaining stuff to me and I’m grateful for you, so please, save your lecture on magic for later. But… how and what should I say to Arleaf? If I show that I was moved because it’s my first-time seeing magic, she’ll definitely suspect something.

‘Thou may not have seen it much, but magic is not that uncommon. Avoid showing how thou truly feel.’

As I thought. In that case…

“Mm. Good teamwork there. Just be absolutely sure to not hit Muu with it please.”

I assume Muu is weak to fire since he’s a mushroom. If he gets roasted to death, it’d be a sad situation. In more ways than one.

“Mu!”

“I’ll be fine!” is what I can only assume Muu is meaning by his shadowboxing.

“Okay! You’re really something as a Poison-Wielder too, Yukihisa.”

Arleaf is probably talking about how I can condense the swamp’s toxins and release it as a poisonous mist, right? It’s not like I was sniping my targets from far away. I was standing somewhat close with my crossbow and hitting them with poison, but that’s only easy ‘cause of the distance. Maybe it’s thanks to Arleaf’s cooking, but I can nimbly move around. I get quite a bit of experience too. Not bad at all.

“I’m just alright. There’s a lot I had to figure out on my own. I’m learning as I go along.” “Besides firing your crossbow, it seems it’s all magic for you… but that’s probably not the case, right?” “Mm.”

I create a sphere of toxin with Poison Release to show her. The blob floats on my hand. I think Veno said that it’s not magic, but I don’t exactly understand the reasoning behind using it either. Maybe it’s due to Spirit Link or perhaps, as Veno theorized, it’s something I was born with. Which reminds me, some time in the future, we’re probably gonna encounter monsters capable of magic too. But how about those guys? Are they learners of magic too?

‘I can only say that it depends on each circumstance. Of course, there are beings who are born knowing magic.’ “Well, it’s just powers of my class. Now then, let’s continue exploring.” “Okay.”

Let’s store away the defeated monsters before we move on. We’re obviously not taking the ashes of the burnt Reed Grey Roach.

‘Did Muu not slay a monster? The oil extracted from it would be useful.’

… not for cooking, right? Something like lamp oil, I hope.

‘Though it is edible?’

No way in hell that’s happening. I don’t want to eat anything fried in that grease, for my sanity’s sake.

‘Understandably difficult. But if thou cook it well, it turns out nice and crunchy.’

Those are chips that I absolutely do no want to eat. Don’t you dare share the flavor with me. No, actually, I’ll just stuff my cheeks with Arleaf’s cooking at the same time.

‘Darest thou threaten me?! Good grief…’

I’m not that picky of an eater, but I hate stuff like stewed grasshoppers. Just thinking about the salty-sweet soy sauce flavor makes me want to gag.

‘Again with the pickiness… I am not demanding anything that absurd from you. I do have an interest in delicacies, but this is not much of an acquired taste, aye? By the way, is sweet soy sauce delicious?’

Veno is a dragon with a sweet tooth. No surprise he’s interested in sweet soy sauce. Unfortunately for you, the soy sauce-side is a bit strong, so you can’t call it a dessert. But people dip mochi in sweet soy sauce too. Which side would you put that on? And then there’s mitarashi dango, which should be a dessert. It’s hard to draw the line… but let’s save the sweet soy sauce talk for later. Not to mention that I don’t even know if there’s soy sauce in this world.

‘Going by thy memories… I remember seeing a similar condiment.’

And as I’ve said, we’re not talking about this anymore! While we were talking, Arleaf and I were picking herbs as we progressed deeper into the swamplands. And then…

“We should soon be able to see the main entrance to the dungeon,” said Arleaf after going fairly far into the swamp.

“Oh, was this side the proper entrance?”

The entrance with the altar that Muu and I changed jobs with was originally just a separate cave. Now its remains are connected to the dungeon. So it makes sense that this should be considered the proper entrance.

“Yep. It would be easier to go to deeper levels through this way too.” “Is that right?”

The altar connects to the second floor, but to get to the third floor, you’ve gotta use this entrance, I think.

“Do you tend to explore dungeons, Yukihisa?” “Hmm… to tell you the truth, I don’t really think of it like that. I only come here because it’s easy to fight.”

I can’t forget the real reason why I’m here. We’ve got to find a way to free me from this Forced Possession Summoning while escaping the people chasing me. That’s also the reason why I’m trying to level up. It’s not like my goal is to explore dungeons. I mean, not that I’m totally uninterested though.

“I see. It would hard for me the way I am right now… and I would only drag you down.” “Then consider us to be on a stroll until the sun goes down.”

I can’t push her too hard either. Sure, she’s a comrade to us, but only for a limited time.

“Do you wanna fight a few more monsters before we go home?” “Yes.  And before we return… are you planning to go for a soak?”

She’s still hung up on that, eh?

“Umm… I wouldn’t do so since you’re here with me, Arleaf.”

Since it turns out there are people watching me and I don’t know what they’re scheming… But I can’t deny that soaking in the toxic water feels as fantastic as soaking in an onsen. I was considering to maybe just dip my toes in, or maybe I’ll get a little cheeky and have Muu stand guard for me, when all of a sudden…

“Let’s get the hell out of here.” “Yeah!” “H-Heal…” “I know!”

Oh? There are a few adventurers over by the entrance of the dungeon that ran past us.

‘Beware. It is possible that they are in midst of fleeing from a monster.’

Ah… that’s certainly a possibility. Maybe it’s time for me to bust out some poison again. Seems like Arleaf immediately noticed them run behind us. She looks like she’s ready to hightail out of here too. Maybe I can let out a toxic mist to cover our back. But… I can’t sense any monsters around here.

“Muu?”

In the end, the adventurers left, and peace returned.

previously: /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /ch008/ /ch009/ /ch010/ /ch011/ /ch012/ /ch013/ /ch014/ /ch015/ /ch016/ /ch017/ /ch018/ /ch019/ /ch020/ /ch021/ /ch022/ /ch023/ /ch024/ /ch025/ /ch026/ /ch027/ /ch028/ /next/ (please support me on Patreon or Paypal) (full list of translated chapters) (discussion thread on Novel Updates)

[prompt-master]

Coke and Stars

Anon asked: /crying slightly/ e-expensive headphones soulmate au

Hey so i uh fucking love soulmate aus? So im gonna be a little bitch and plug in my own where the night sky is blank until you meet your soulmate

– Michael pressed his cheek up against the cold wet window he was sitting on. Condensation rubbed onto him and now there was a smudge on the window between all the fog. He watched as water droplets built up and raced down to the edge, creating a little tiny puddle by Michael’s thigh. He sighed, which placed more condensation in place of another spot he’d rubbed water off. He hated the cold normally, which was why he was inside right now, his legs over the heater. But sometimes the cold against his face was the most grounding and calming thing, and so he couldn’t find the energy to move. Even as his face went numb. His phone buzzed, and with a sigh he looked down at the message lighting up the screen from his best friend Jeremy. He was leaving messages to him about how beautiful the sky was. Jeremy had met his soulmate today.

So maybe Michael was being a little emo right now.

He should be happy for him! He wanted to be, desperatly in fact. And deep down he was, Jeremy totally deserved a soulmate! And I mean if it was that sweet girl Christine they met today then even better, they’d make such a cute couple. So why was Michael still bitter? Michael released another sigh and lifted his hand, wiping off the window so he could see through it. As usual the sky was gray, dull, and boring. Anytime he asked someone to explain what it looked like, they said it was too beautiful to describe. It was annoying. He just wanted to know, Hell everybody did. A small part of him resented that Jeremy got to see it first, but then he saw just how happy the kid was.

Michael scrolled through the wall of text, secretly wishing Jeremy didn’t have to press send every 4 words. Suddenly in the middle of Jeremy’s “I’M CRYING IT’S SOFUCKING BEAUTIFUL” rant was a question Michael hadn’t been expecting.

“You coming to Jake’s party?”

Oh. He’s invited? Michael still wasn’t even used to the fact that he was friends with people like Jake, he still felt like he was at the bottom of the social food chain. Then he’d see Jake posting a group selfie with him in it, not just walking by but actually in it, and he’d remember his life was different. Things still felt the same though, he didn’t get much more attention and the sky was still blank but he had more friends to rely on. If only that was enough.

“Yeah, why? Need a ride?”

“Nah, just want my best friend there”

Michael rolled his eyes and smiled. He got up to get ready, he’d at least do his hair and wear something other than the hoodie he’s been sweating in the past month. He gave one last glance to the blank sky, the window fogging back up from the cold weather. When his eyes went to focus on his room door he briefly wondered if his soulmate was also looking at the grey sky.

Well he was totally wrong about that.

Rich was already at Jake’s party, he picked up a nice can of beer out the cooler and cracked it open.

He looked up at Jake as he shook the cold water off his hand, “so like how many people are coming bro? Cause this party is dead as shit”

As Jake replied Rich downed the beer as fast as could. He loved Jake and all but the real reason people went to his parties was for free beer. “Just about everybody who’s a somebody”

Rich hummed, tossing the beer can into a trash can from across the room, sighing heavily when it missed, “so is everybody who’s a somebody…nobody? Cause no one’s here”

Jake followed Rich with his eyes as he got up to put the can in the trash, “Dude you just gotta be patient ok? They’re coming, no one can resist my parties”

Rich scoffed, kicking back on his chair and propping his feet up on Jake’s lap, “oh yeah, what with your pretty boy charm and all”

Jake laughed, resting his hands into Rich’s leg as the shorter of the two reached for another beer “Richie don’t get wasted dude. There’s gonna be so many people here you don’t even know! You could totally meet your soulmate and you’re gonna wanna be sober when that happens.”

Rich rolled his eyes, but complied and handed Jake the beer so he could drink it, “I’m pretty sure I don’t have a soulmate at this point”

“You don’t know that!”

“Easy for you to say, you already have one!”

“Yeah, but I met them drunk at a huge ass party, now I have no idea who it is. Guess what man?” Jake paused to take a sip of his beer, pulling away with a ‘Ah’, “I totally regret it.”

Rich frowned, turning his head towards the window to see a blurred gray through the water droplets fogging up the glass. He nodded, knowing Jake was only looking out for him, but honestly he just wanted to get wasted and forget for a while. He glanced over at the door as the bell rang, and watched as Jake hurried to answer it.

“Chloe, Brooke! The life of the party! Come on in!”

After that more and more people started to pile in. Soon the hallways were filled with dancing drunk teenagers taking up almost all the living space. Jesus, did Jake invite the whole school? Every time Rich talked to someone knew he ended up looking out the closest window. He was giving himself paranoia honestly. And it was super fucking annoying. Each time he looked and things were still gray he found himself more and more peeved off. At some point he sat down on a big sofa and put his feet up on the table, his eyes lazily watching Jake push his way through the crowd to answer the door again.

“Jeremy! Uh…Marshall-!”

“Michael.”

“Right! Glad you could make it! Come on in guys!”

“Thanks Jake, sweet place you’ve got”

Rich rolled his eyes and turned his head before he had a chance to see Jeremy and whoever this Michael kid was. He didn’t want to indulge his stupid paranoia anymore, no more disappointments. Rich pulled out his phone and opened up Reddit.

Jeremy looked around at the flashing lights of pink, blue, and purple with a wide smile. There was something about the atmosphere of a good party he loved and even craved, despite not being able to dance. He looked down at Michael who was tightly gripping his hoodie sleeves, folding up the loose fabric between his fingers.

Michael looked up when Jeremy asked him, “What’s wrong Michael? You wanna leave?”

Michael shook his head, trying to ignore the way the bass of the music thumped in his chest, rattling his very heartbeat, “no way dude, Christine is here and I gotta make sure you don’t make a fool of yourself. And I need more blackmail material”

Jeremy laughed, “you’re the best dude.”

“Yeah, I know.” He put a hand to Jeremy’s back and gestured towards Christine with his other hand. She was doing a little dance by herself in front of the speakers. She wasn’t exactly an amazing dancer, she was more flailing and stomping her feet, “now you go talk to her. I’ll be by the snacks for moral support”

Michael waited until he was sure things were steady between Jeremy and his soulmate. Once he saw Jeremy join in the flailing he smiled, pulling on his headphones and heading over to the table filled with chips and snacks. He leaned back far into a chair next to the cooler. There were less people around this area and it was also opposite side of the speakers, so it was the perfect spot for Michael.

He reached down into the cooler for a coke, but his hands brushed against something a lot warmer. He snapped his head up, meeting brown eyes and a face full of freckles. Even more catching was the red rooster stripe in the boys hand. Michael cleared his throat and blushed, pulling his hand away, “sorry”

The kid shook his head and smiled, showing off an even cuter tooth gap, “no worries man! Here” he handed Michael the coke before reaching back in to grab his own.

There was a bit of silence, and the condensation rubbing off onto Michael’s skin reminded him of the window he was staring out hours earlier. He found himself glancing towards the window but found trees in the way. He was about to mention it when the boy cut him off.

“So…you like…ok?”

Michael looked up at that, raising his eyebrow in confusion, “h…huh?”

He shrugged, taking a swig of soda, “well…maybe it’s just me but spots like this are where you go when you’re upset at a party. I call it the emo corner”

Michael chuckled “Yeah, you’re pretty spot on there. Places like this and the bathroom are the perfect emo corners”

The kid sat down on the cooler next to him, giving a goofy but supportive smile, “names Rich.”

“Michael. So, if you’re here that means you’re like also upset…right?”

Rich shrugged, “just soulmate stuff…you know how it is” Michael felt his face fall, guess it wasn’t him, “It just feels like I’m never gonna meet them. You know?”

Michael stared for a while, Rich frowned “uh…maybe that’s not as common as I thought then?”

“No no no!” Michael put down his coke and lowered his headphones, giving his fill attention to Rich, “I so understand what you mean! I feel the exact same!”

Rich smiled, “Yeah? Sorry to hear that dude, at least we’re not alone huh?” He lifted up his soda, and Michael grabbed his back and they clinked them together.

Michael smiled down at the bubbling drink, “yeah…you’re right, Rich. Maybe I should just stop stressing about it though. It’ll probably happen casually.”

“Hmm…you know what? You’re right, and even if it doesn’t happen then that just means we’re too fucking baller for anyone on this damn planet!” Rich smiled wider at the cute chuckle Michael gave at that.

“So Mikey Love Boy, wanna tell me why you came here?”

“Ah..I’m just not used to all…this” he gestured around “I don’t go to parties often”

“Ah, get overwhelmed easy?”

He nodded.

“I used to be like that too. You wanna go stand outside for a bit.”

Michael smiled, sinking further into his hoodie. Now that he thought about it, the coke in his lap was kind of like the red stripe in Rich’s hair. If he happened to miss Rich, he’d probably taste like coke and beer, and judging by the little box hanging out his pocket, a small twinge of cigarette. Michael blushed at the thought but shook it away as he fell into an easy conversation with Rich.

"nah, let's just talk"

–

“Michael! Hey dude you ready to go?” .

Michael looked up from Rich’s face for probably the first time 2 hours to see Jeremy smiling widely at him, he must have had a good time. Michael yawned into his hand then stretched, “Yeah man, ready when you are”

Michael smiled again at Rich, “it was super nice meeting you man”

“Yeah you too! You uh…” Rich paused to scratch his arm nervously, a blush creeping up his neck, “you wanna talk again sometime?”

Michael nodded, shaking the can with Rich’s number sloppily written in sharpie on the bottom, “asap my dude”

Michael led Jeremy outside since the tall boy was a little buzzed still, he kept his eyes on the coke can in his hand with a smile on his face.

“I see you met Rich, looks like you two get along”

“Yeah he’s uh…hes pretty cool.” He opened the passenger door for Jeremy when his eyes caught on a twinkle reflecting off the red paint. “What the…?”

Michael turned around, half expecting the house next door to also be throwing a party, but instead he found the breath taken out of him. “Holy….”

For all the years Michael had imagined what the sky actually looked like he never imagined it to be this beautiful. The laid out dots of white that sparkled left his mouth hanging open. Each one accented the moon like an accessory, yet each accessory was it’s own little beauty. There were big stars and little ones, and the gray he’d grown so used to was a lovely dark navy.

“Michael? Dude you good?”

Michael laughed a little hysterically, he turned to face Jeremy with the biggest smile he’d ever had on his face. Jeremy raised an eyebrow ever higher, his elbow leaning against the down window of the car.

“Michael?”

“Dude!! Oh my fucking god dude I see it!!”

“It? Wait you don’t mean-?”

“HOLY SHIT!”

Both Jeremy and Michael snapped up to attention at the yell. They saw Rich on Jake’s doorstep, his eyes wide and staring up at the sky, looking like he could barely breath. There was a spilt can of newly opened beer on the floor, “holy mother fucking SHIT!”

Michael laughed again, ignoring Jeremy’s inevitable next question in favor of running back up the drive way. Rich turned his head back down at the sound of fast footsteps, and the instant he registered the figure as Michael he understood.

Rich stood there in shock and yelled out, “it’s you!!”

Michael laughed and wrapped Rich up in a tight hug “oh my fucking god it’s you!”

Rich almost cried, in all his life he never expecting finding his soulmate would be this happy. He wrapped his arms around Michael and lifted him up spinning him around, ignoring Michael’s yells of surprise. “It’s really fucking you!”

He put down Michael, who was still letting out a low laugh, he looked back up at the peppered sky, “Dude it’s so fucking pretty”

“You’re fucking pretty!

“And you’re fucking cheesy oh my god!”

Rich held out his arms, flailing from gesturing to the sky to Michael to the house “how did we not notice before?!”

“We’re idiots!”

Rich finally felt his breath catch up with him, “I guess that means you really will be texting me then?”

Michael looked up at the sky again, now fully aware his soulmate was doing the same, “I was planning on it either way.”

[lurkernolonger]

B for Bollocks (2/2)

Hey guys! Thank you again for all the kind words about this story! As opposed to part 1, this second half was a struggle for me. I went back and forth with two endings and I still don’t know if I made the right choice. Honestly I am not fully happy with it, but who doesn’t doubt themselves right?  Plus if I agonize over it anymore I’ll never complete it. I’m going away at the weekend for a month long holiday and I didn’t want to wait until I got back to post it, so here it is flaws and all. Hope you enjoy! xx

Archie had rung him five times, Chop had knocked for him twice, and Rae had done zero of either in the past four days (and that was the count that mattered most).

Finn wasn’t angry with her, never could be really. It wasn’t her fault she was brilliant and he was a coward. He had watched in jealous anguish as Archie dated her and told himself that he wouldn’t let it happen again. Until it did.

Finn was gone on her almost immediately, but by the time he actually realized it his best mate had moved in. He had been so relieved when they didn’t work out. The closer Finn got to Rae, the closer he stepped to the edge of falling hopelessly for her. That one afternoon in his room, when she had confessed about France, about her scars, she had seemed so afraid of his reaction. Rae’s eyes had filled with tears as she folded into herself and away from him. She had babbled about how she would understand if he didn’t want her around, if he wanted her to leave and stay away, but all it did was make him want her more. She was so brave, so strong, so wrong about herself. Finn had held her close and whispered that no matter what he always wanted her around. From that moment she was his, and he’d tried to stake his claim in little touches or looks, listening sessions in his room and mix-tapes full of subliminal messages. Finn was crap with words and he knew actually voicing it out loud ran the risk of losing everything. He’d been such a dick to her in the beginning he was just happy to have her as a friend; happy she trusted him enough with her real self. So he let his feelings rest, let the steady tingle in his skin settle as he waited for some kind of sign; his hope being buoyed by how she said his name or left her scent lingering on his pillows. Evidently, he had waited too long and deep down he knew he had no one to blame but himself.

But that didn’t stop him from avoiding everybody, opting to sulk in his room instead. And sulking is really all he could do. He couldn’t even appreciate his records anymore because everything reminded him of Rae; how she hummed along with Morrissey, mouthed the words to The Stone Roses, and swayed her hips to Primal Scream (she probably thought he didn’t notice, but he definitely did; the visual aiding him in at least a dozen wanks). Not to mention Spaceman. After leaving the pub he had bitterly shoved it in the back of the furthest crate, darkly muttering “our song, my arse”. But it was that very thought that stopped him from hurling it like a frisbee towards the tip. She never liked Radiohead much, but he couldn’t fall back on that either because once Brandon had showed up in a Thom Yorke shirt and that’s all Finn could picture when No Surprises came on. “Tosser didn’t even have the decency to have crap taste in music,” Finn grumbled to himself before shutting off his speakers. He looked around his room for something else to do, but again all he saw were the places Rae had sat or stood or touched, and he knew it was no use.

It was midday Friday which meant the gang was most likely at the chippy. Finn looked over at the calendar pinned to his wall where he had surreptitiously marked down Rae’s work schedule to see that she was off, which meant she would be there too. He wasn’t sure if he was excited or sick at that. Usually he barely lasted 24 hours without seeing her but now being around her meant seeing B-for-Bollocks-Bastard-Brandon too. Finn sat contemplating going, images of slapping Brandon’s smug face with a fresh from the fryer battered sausage swirling in his mind, when his stomach growled angrily making his decision for him. Can’t avoid them forever. With a huff he grabbed his flannel and helmet and clopped down the stairs.

Finn paused outside the chippy window. The gang was sat at the same table where they had assembled the day before Knebworth, the day he’d punched Big G, the day he should have walked Rae home and told her that Chop might as well have printed her name on the front of Finn’s shirt because, really, he was more excited to see her than Oasis. Rae was sat at the end of the table and the hungry animal in his stomach morphed into a thousand restless butterflies. Fuck, if she didn’t somehow get prettier in the last 72 hours. She was wearing her I Wanna Be Adored shirt and a genuine smile; two of his favourite things to see on her. Again he thought of another lost opportunity: that day in the park where he’d been so eager to apologize he’d forgotten he was half naked. Then he’d gone and made that garbled noise in the back of his throat after telling her she was sound. Not to mention his I-realize-this-is-too-long-but-I’m-busy-sniffing-your-hair hug. The memory made him cringe. “Such a twat,” he mumbled to himself, turning to get back on his scooter, but a loud bang and the vibration of the shop window made him jump. Chop’s gap tooth grin at startling him immediately changed to one of a stern parent as he brandished a finger and said “GET THE FUCK IN HERE” loud enough for Finn to hear through the thick glass. Well he had no choice now, he’d been spotted. Hitting his helmet against his thigh, he went for the door. Chop grabbed him by the back of the neck as soon as he was in arms reach.

“The hell have you been?!” Chop admonished, steering him towards the table. Finn shrugged. Not like he could say ’Oh, just at home being miserable and getting strange looks off my dad.’

Looking up he noticed an empty seat in front of Rae, Archie next to her and, surprisingly, Brandon beside him. Finn furrowed his brow at that. If Rae was his he’d be sat close enough to hand feed her chips and feel her breath on his neck. That image quickly turned X rated in his mind, and he had to shake his head to rid himself of the poorly timed fantasy. Not now, he told himself as he slipped into the empty chair.

“Finn!” Izzy waved at him enthusiastically, her red hair bouncing happily. “We missed you, where ya been?”

“Yeah where’d you disappear to?” Chloe’s tone was slightly accusatory and it made him hunch his shoulders.

Shit, really can’t avoid this question. “Just around” he shrugged again. Finn looked over at Archie and was met with crossed arms and an icy glare. I guess I deserve that. “Archer”

Archie looked him over, probably assessing how much Finn had punished himself already before determining how much more crap he deserved for blanking him for days. He must have read the lines under Finn’s eyes from lack of sleep and the frustratingly skewed fringe like one of his history books because his shoulders lost their menace, and that sympathetic smile was back. “You alright?” Archie asked. Two words with a hundred annotations. Was he alright? Finn genuinely didn’t know, so he let his head do a weird shake/nod/shrug thing to neither confirm nor deny.

The table’s conversation continued but Finn noticed Rae had gone quiet since he’d walked in. She was looking down at her tray as she swirled a chip in curry sauce. “Hey Rae” Finn managed, but not without his voice cracking on the end of her name. Fuck will I ever not be a complete pleb around her? He cleared his throat to recover, but her eyes shot up to him and she actually looked relieved before that genuine smile was back.

“Finnley. I was starting to think you’d left the country, or at least Lincolnshire,” she teased in a hushed tone, before pushing her cone of chips towards him in offering.

“Thought about it,” he said honestly, grabbing a chip as a distraction. He felt her nudge his foot with hers under the table and he looked up to find her smiling softly.

“You’re alright though?” To that he nodded. If it meant her eyes wouldn’t look so sad, he would make himself alright. “And uh…we’re..well, are we alright?” Her voice was quiet and hesitant and Finn suddenly felt incredibly guilty for running out on her without explaining. But how do you explain your heart in your throat and your stomach falling out of your arse?

“Yeah. ‘Course,” and he let his foot nudge her back. Her smile was wide this time, reaching her eyes until she bit her lip and nodded. For Finn it was one of those moments; the kind that mutes and blurs everything else around them and makes him feel like maybe he gets what love is.

He tore his gaze away to catch his breath and see if Archie had caught their exchange, but instead was met with Brandon looking over at them. His forehead was creased with a look of consternation before his eyes met Finn’s. Finn made sure to hold his gaze firmly until Brandon gave him a half nod and turned back to conversation with the others.

“Right. Now that this bellend is back,” Chop’s voice rose over the din of the table as he pointed a half eaten saveloy in Finn’s direction, “we can discuss the rave tomorrow.”

Saturday morning had Finn certain that he wasn’t going to go. Last night he’d dreamt of the rave: a pulsing room with swirling colours and warm bodies, and at the centre of it all Brandon was kissing Rae. Finn had woken up in a cold sweat, a hard pain in his chest and an even harder determination to not subject his reality to that gutting scene. That is until Chop showed up at his with glow sticks, whistles and a threat to tell Gary about the time they’d nicked his expensive scotch and gashed the side of his car trying to make the curve of the McDonalds drive thru. They had been able to get their burgers and convince Gary it must have been vandalism, escaping any punishment. It was the miracle of their then 15 year old lives, and the only reason Finn wasn’t still grounded, so he had no choice but to get ready.

The ride there was loud and the gang had so much energy it boosted Finn’s enthusiasm. He hollered along, drinking cans with Archie, glad that he ended up in a separate car from Rae and Brandon. But when he sees her emerge from Chop’s Renault 5 looking like some golden glittery goddess, he wishes so badly that he had been pressed against her in the back seat until the sequins of her jacket left oddly shaped imprints on his skin. Chop offers him something from a baggy and whatever it is, he’s taking it.

They’re dancing now, just him and Rae. Everyone else has split off and Finn doesn’t care or even wonder where they are because she has his whistle in her mouth and her hands above her head and she looks about as loose as he feels. She’s not touching him at all, but the string of the whistle might as well be connected right to his soul because he feels completely tethered to her. This is how it should be. Him and Rae, happy, together. He’s lost all inhibitions to intoxication and is about to tell her just how right this feels, but then Izzy is pulling her away and his whistle drops to his chest and settles against his heartache. Reality drips down him like the sweat on his brow; he’d almost confessed to a girl with a boyfriend. She’s with Brandon, he reminds himself. After watching Rae get swallowed by the crowd, Finn moves to the back of the room where it’s slightly quieter, seeking the bar to shoot down anything that will replace the sinking in his stomach with a fiery burn. But he doesn’t make it because he’s stopped dead in his tracks and what he’s seeing has successfully set his whole body alight with fury.

Brandon is leaned against a wall in an intimate embrace with some brunette in a tight dress, his mouth on her neck as her hands move up his shirt. Blind rage surges through Finn and the next thing he knows he has Brandon by the collar and is shoving him up against the brick, the brunette cast off and forgotten.

“What the fuck, Finn!”

“YOU SCUMMY PIECE OF SHIT!!” Finn seethes as he grabs him close, only to slam him back into the wall repeatedly. “YOU DON’T FUCKING DESERVE HER!” Finn’s whole body is shaking and he’s sure he’s never felt this angry before.

Brandon’s hands are at Finn’s wrists, and he manages to shift his weight and throw him off. Finn launches himself forward, catching Brandon by the middle and tackling him to the ground. They’re tussling and rolling over one another trying to get the upper hand, unaware of the crowd building around them. “Do you even know how fucking lucky you are?! You have her and that’s how you treat her?!” Finn is breathing hard and trying to land punches at any available spot but his determination to talk through the fight has made him sloppy and Brandon is too quick. Soon he’s being straddled, and Brandon’s hands are pinning his arms to the ground.

“What the fuck is this about?! Did you know that girl or summat?” Brandon asks through heaving breaths. This has Finn flailing, determined to escape his hold so he can murder the thick son of a bitch. He’s rolled them over now so he looms over Brandon and his right arm pulls past his ear to deliver the final crushing blow, when Brandon gives him a verbal hit that’s harder than any punch.

“I’m not with Rae!!”

Finn’s whole body slackens and his arm falls to his side. “You what?”

“That’s what this is about right? Rae?” Brandon still has his hands up in defence, bracing himself for another attack. Finn just stares at him dumbly. He is so fucking lost right now. Neither of them has moved but then a girl in the crowd breaks their intense stare down.

“Are you two gonna fight or what?” They both turn to her, and finally take notice of the ring of people surrounding them.

“Take your clothes off first!!” her friend demands before falling into a fit of giggles.

“Yeah if we had some jelly this could get really hot” another standby voice yells out.

A weak scattered chorus of “punch him, punch him, punch him” breaks out but when neither of them make a move, the crowd dissipates. Finn rolls off Brandon and sits next to him, arms resting on his knees.

“Say it again,” he demands.

“I’m not dating Rae”

“But…you…she-”

“I like her. I thought maybe she liked me too, but-”

“What?” Finn’s mind was swirling. With booze and drugs and bruises he just couldn’t grasp what was happening.

“She said she didn’t want things to get weird since we worked together, but I figured there had to be another reason. Then I saw how you two looked at each other and…” Brandon trailed off and shrugged to finish his thought.

“But what about-”

“Look, Nelson” Brandon interrupted. He sounded exasperated and Finn clocked an odd look in his eye. It was almost sad. “I never took you for a cock block but that’s the second girl you’ve gotten in the middle of. Just go talk to Rae, yeah?” And with that he got up and disappeared into the crowd.

Finn’s hands shake as he dismounts his scooter and looks up at Rae’s house. After his fight with Brandon, he’d searched for her for ages, only to hear from Archie that she had gone off to help Chop. When he asked with what, Archie had slurred through an explanation of Rae being the “daddy” and something about that twat dealer from Dalehead snogging a fairy. It had only left Finn more confused, and by the time they made it to where they had parked up, Chop’s car was gone. Finn had driven him and a queasy Archie straight to the chippy in hopes she’d be there, but when the others (bar Brandon) arrived for the debrief, Chop explained that he had dropped Rae home a few hours ago. Finn had promptly ran home to shower (no way was he going to talk to her smelling like a distillery) and grab his bike. With a deep breath he heads towards the front door, before thinking better of waking Linda at this early an hour. Instead he climbs up the drain pipe and knocks gently on Rae’s window. After a few minutes Rae appears on the other side, confused, before she unlocks the window and opens it for him.

“Finn? What the bloody hell are you doing out there?” She whisper yells.

“Is it alright if I come in?”

“Uh…yeah okay. Just don’t break your neck alright? Don’t need my mum waking up to a dead body on the lawn.” She moves aside to let him in and once he’s safely got feet to carpet she’s asking “thought we were meant to meet at the chippy?”

“I needed to talk to you about summat important. In private” Finn says, taking a step closer to her. A worried look comes over her face before she nods and gestures for him to continue. “Rae…I…” he trails off, unsure of where to start, so he takes another step so they’re toe to toe.

“What?” her voice is so quiet and he can tell she’s bracing herself for whatever is about to happen.

Finn’s not sure getting this close was a good idea. He can smell her shampoo and his words die on his lips when he feels her chest rising and falling against his. His body knows what it wants though and suddenly he has one hand in her hair while the other cups her cheek, stroking her face gently. Rae’s eyes look wet as her gaze moves to Finn’s lips which are only an inch away from hers.

“Rae…”

“Yeah…”

“I came to tell you that I’ve wanted to do this for a long time,” he whispers. And then he’s kissing her.

Finn has imagined kissing her thousands of times. Endless variations of how it would go, who would make the initial move, which lip he would devour first (he always ended on her bottom one, it was just so plump), how long it would last, what noises she would make; but he never knew it could feel like this. No other girl made it feel like this. He could have never imagined how perfectly her mouth slotted with his, or the thrill that shot through him when he felt her fist his shirt and pull him closer, or the way they melted together when their tongues touched. Finn’s toes curled as his mind went blank while the rest of him felt so full. Too full; of words, of want, of need. At that moment kissing her became a necessity. World War III could be breaking out right next to them and all he would hear and see and feel was one Rae Earl.

Finn feels her smile against his lips before she pulls away slightly. Her mouth is still close enough that her lips brush his as she asks “why the fuck did we wait so long to do that?” He allows a breath of a laugh out before he’s on her again and, like at the chippy and the thousand other times he’s felt it before, it’s one of those moments. Their moments; when the rest of the world shifts away and it’s just the two of them. But this time Finn knows for sure what love is.

They’re in his room, on his bed, kissing. It’s been three weeks since the rave and they haven’t really stopped kissing, despite the protests of the gang. They haven’t gone further than that, but Finn’s not complaining. The fact that he gets to hold her by the waist and put his tongue in her mouth and call her his girl is amazing enough to him. So when Rae’s hands start to creep up the back of his shirt, and he feels her nails gently rake at his skin while her tongue swirls against his Adam’s apple, he isn’t ashamed to admit he’s already about to mess his jeans.

Finn dips his head, his mouth greedy to get back to her delicious lips. Her arms move up so her hands are in his hair and he takes the opportunity to slip his own hands under her top. She hums against his mouth and he takes it as his cue to continue. Finn’s hands ghost higher, until he can feel the smooth expanse of her back and the tips of his fingers rub the clasp of her bra. Rae shifts to lift her back off the bed and he pulls her with him so they’re both sitting upright. Finn nips her bottom lip before pulling away. He’s pleased to see she’s just as dazed as him, that maybe his kisses are messing with her mind as much as hers do his. Her eyes are half closed and her lips are swollen from his bites and the sight makes him feel like he’s on fire. She gives him a barely there brush of the lips before guiding his hands to the hem of her shirt. Finn looks into her eyes, raises his brows in question, afraid words will brake the sensous air thick around them. Rae comes close, nods against his nose before swiping her tongue across his top lip. He kisses her until he has to move to make way for her shirt and when he sees her breasts spilling out of a lacy teal bra, he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to stand her in clothes again. His eyes travel from her cleavage, higher until they settle on a necklace. The necklace. B for Brandon’s necklace.

Finn’s certain he’s never lost his arousal faster. The sight of that gold pendant between her collar bones is gut wrenching. He hasn’t seen it since that first day, and after their kiss in her room he was sure he’d never see it again. But all this time it was under her clothes like a secret. Nestled close to the breasts that he’s been fantasizing about. He hasn’t moved and the only thing that shatters his shock is Rae pulling the covers over her. When he looks to her face she seems mortified and her eyes are full of tears.

“Fuck! I knew it. You’re disgusted by me. I can’t believe I let you see me!” Rae grabs for her shirt and stands. Tears fall from her eyes and hit Finn’s hand and he feels the panic rise inside of him.

“No Rae, no! That’s not- Rae!” He’s grabbing for her now but she pulls away and shoves her shirt over her head.

“Please don’t touch me Finn, don’t!”

“Rae listen to me -”

She’s on the floor grabbing her things, frantically searching for her Converse. She’s sobbing and the sound squeezes Finn’s heart like a vice.

“Rae! Listen to me, please! It’s not you! I love how you look, I swear!” Finn knows he’s yelling but he needs her to hear him. She does. She stops mid grab for her backpack and looks up at him. He gets down on his knees so they’re level and grabs her face. “Rae, I love your body. I find you so fucking sexy, believe me. It’s just…I saw the necklace and it was like a punch to the bollocks”

“What?” Confusion clouds over Rae’s face and she pulls out of his hands.

“Brandon’s necklace. Why are you still wearing it?” Finn’s voice brakes with the painful lump in his throat.

“What? The fuck are you talking about Finn?”

Finn sighs heavy, falls back so he’s sitting on his bum, and leans against his bed. “I know it’s from him Rae. B for Brandon.”

It’s quiet for a long moment, he’s staring at his hands because he’s afraid to look at her but when she laughs his head shoots up. The tears are gone and she’s wearing a smile. Finn grimaces at her. He doesn’t see what the hell about this situation could possibly be amusing. Rae shuffles on her knees until she’s in front of him, then swings one leg over to straddle his lap.

“You numpty. This necklace is not from Brandon.”

“What? Then who’s it from?”

Rae bites her lip and her eyes dance across his face as if she’s trying to memorize this moment. “It’s from Karim”

“KARIM?! But I…I don’t..Karim?” He knows he sounds daft but he is thoroughly confused.

“He gave it to me after him and my mum got married in Tunisia. Said he wanted me to feel like part of his family, ‘cause that’s what I am” Rae shrugs and places her hands on Finn’s neck, thumbs rubbing at his jawline. “Sounds cheesy, but it meant a lot to me. It’s the first time someone has wanted to be my dad in any sorta way, you know?” Tears fill her eyes again and Finn moves his arms to circle her waist.

“So-”

“B for Bouchtat, yeah” Rae interrupts and nods, giving him a watery smile. Finn buries his head in her neck, embarrassed.

“More like B for Bloody idiot. Fuck Rae, I’m so sorry. I’m such a dickhead” Finn says against her skin, nuzzling closer, trying to hide how red he’s gone. He’s been so thick about the whole situation.

“Yeah well, I’ve only been telling you that this whole time. Glad you’ve finally admitted it,” Rae laughs as she strokes his hair.

Finn places a kiss on her neck before pulling away, his finger tracing the chain of the necklace. “I really am sorry, Rae. I never want to make you cry. It’s just…the thought of you with anyone else…”

“You must really be an idiot if you think I want anyone else, Finnley. You’re stuck with me now.”

Finn beams and tightens his hold on her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. And you don’t even need to give me a necklace,” Rae teases.

“Nah, anyone can get a necklace. I was thinking something more permanent. Like a massive ‘F’ tattoo on your back or summat.” Finn traces the letter above the band of her leggings for show.

“Bollocks to that!”

Finn shakes his head and laughs before pulling her face to his, close enough for their breath to mix. He rubs his nose lightly against hers.

“I love you, girl”

“I love you too, dickhead”

Hours later when Rae is fast sleep against his chest, her bare skin sticking to his, Finn reaches for a biro in his beside drawer and draws a tiny ‘F’ on the inside of her wrist.

The end! Thank you for reading :)

I’m only tagging those who specifically asked. If you want to be added or removed, let me know!

@bitchesbecrazy89 @crystalgiddings1993 @eveerez @hey1tskat1e @kneekeyta @likeashootingstarfades @l88cym @mmfdfanfic @milllott @milymargot @tinakegg

[thatoneloser-kid]

Something Special

I posted this on AO3 but I thought I would post it here, too...

Single mom!Kimberly

Trini wasn't the best at human interactions. She was kind of a loner, she didn't tend to engage with her friends all that often, she was very standoffish and rarely ever smiled.

Which was why Kimberly was surprised to come home from work, groceries in hand (having left Trini to look after her daughter for the day because her usual babysitter had taken ill and everyone else was busy) to find Trini and Cleo, both with sheets wrapped around their necks, throwing a pair of rolled up socks at empty water bottles set up in a messy triangle.

Trini apparently hated adults but just loved kids. Who would've guessed?

"I told you she was home." Trini grinned smugly and Cleo looked between them with wide eyes.

"How did you know?" Cleo gasped in amazement.

"I told you, I'm a real life super hero." Trini jibbed, making her way over to Kimberly, taking the heavy bags from her.

Kimberly was filled with a weird sense of domestication at that, like she should lean forward and kiss Trini's cheek (which wasn't an unusual thing to happen to her in Trini's presence).

She doesn't, of course, she just made her way over to her daughter. "What have you two been up to?" She asked when she crouched down beside the four year old.

"Well, we coloured for a little while, then had a tea party, then we decided to be superheroes, then bowling." Cleo motioned over to the bottles that were set up in a triangle.

Kimberly tilted her head to look at Trini who had just set the bags on the counter. "You had a tea party?"

"She makes good tea," Trini shrugged, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. But it got her daughter to flash that big, gap-toothed smile so she dropped it.

"You both sure had a busy day, didn't you?" Kimberly returned her eyes to her daughter as Trini lingered in the arch between the dinning room and the living room. "You must be exhausted, kiddo?"

"I don't wanna go to bed yet. Aunt Trin said we could watch Mulan, said it was her favourite growing up."

"Oh, she did, huh?" Kimberly arched her eyebrows at Trini, who looked somewhat sheepish as she shrugged. "Well, only if she stays."

Kimberly arched her eyebrows challengingly when Trini looked unsure but the unsure look disappeared when Cleo looked at her hopefully.

"Leave and miss Mulan?" Trini scoffed. "I don't think so."

Cleo let out a little happy yap and hopped up into Trini's arms. Trini glanced at Kimberly over the toddlers shoulder, giving her a small, almost shy smile before carrying the young girl into the living room.

They all settled down on the sofa, Cleo squished in between them, her head pressing against Trini's side, probably because she was inherently warmer than Kimberly(which wasn't a surprise, Kimberly's extremities were always cold), and her feet pressing into her moms lap.

Cleo fell asleep a little while before the end and Trini lifted her to bed when the movie ended, untying the sheet from around the girls neck before pulling the covers up over her.

"You should hang out for a while." Kimberly said, peering at Trini over the back of the sofa where she was sitting with a glass of wine.

"You couldn't scream 'single mom' more than you do right now." Trini commented but there was no bite to it so Kimberly laughed, her eyes training on Trini as she sat down.

"Drink?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"Suit yourself." Kimberly shrugged, taking a swig of her glass. "Are you going to sit with that thing around your neck all night?"

"Maybe," Trini hummed, her eyes training on the TV that was now playing friends reruns.

It was silent for the remainder of the episode, save from the little huffs of laughter from both women, but Trini spoke up during the adverts between two episodes.

"I get it now,"

Kimberly pulled her eyes away from a commercial on some kind of pain killer, raising her eyebrows questioningly at Trini. "Get what?"

"I always wondered how you could love her, how you could look at her and not just see him." There was an edge to Trini's voice that Kimberly had never heard before. "But I understand now. Before today any time I seen her I wanted to break him out of prison just to kill him, for what he did to you, for how he hurt you. But, I dunno, I guess spending time with her changed that? I would still kill him but now when I look at her I want to smile."

"That's why you haven't came by much in the past five years?" Kimberly asked thoughtfully, Trini knew she didn't need to answer, that Kimberly already knew what the answer was, but she hummed anyway.

"Yeah. I thought I was hating her and I hated myself for that but it's not her at all, it's him. I hate him."

"I thought it was me.

"You?" Trini frowned, wishing she had undone the 'cape' she was currently wearing because this seemed to be leading to a serious conversation. One she probably shouldn't have while wearing a pink blanket with blue stars around her neck. "Why?"

"I thought you blamed me for your friend being put away.

"Of course not." Trini shook her head definitively, scooting a little closer to Kimberly and touching the knee that was bend under her. "I'm glad he is in prison, of he wasn't I would kill him. A million times over for what he did to you." Trini said, "I shouldn't have just left like I did. I just- I blamed myself, I was one of the main reasons you and him started seeing, the only reason you really knew him at all. If you both had never met, this wouldn't have happened."

"Don't do that." Kimberly sighed, her hand dropping to cover Trini's, giving it a little squeeze. "I done the whole self-blaming thing, it's not good for you."

"You blamed yourself?"

Kimberly bobbed her head, leaning forward to place her glass on the table before leaning back again, her elbow on the back of the sofa and her head on her fist. "And I thought I was going to hate her. While I was pregnant I would look down at my belly and wish I had it in me to get rid of her because she was half him and that fucking killed me. But as soon as she was born that all went away, I looked down at her and, sure, I knew she was half him but she was also half me. And she had my eyes, and my nose and lips and I just fell in love with her."

"She looks like you," Trini whispered, mirroring Kimberly sitting position. "She's beautiful."

"Yeah, she is."

"I'm sorry I haven't been around but I know you had the boys, and Tammi, so I didn't think you needed me, and I didn't think you wanted to see me. He was my close friend, I thought seeing me would just have reminded you of him, I didn't want that."

"You are nothing like him."

"No, I know, but because he was my friend, I thought you would've hate me, too." Trini shrugged. "Death by association, you know?"

"I'm still friends with Zack and he was his friend, too." Kimberly pointed out, her hand sliding up Trini's arm to rub her bicep. "Your were the one I was closest to out of the six of us, it really hurt loosing you."

"I'm sorry," Trini sighed.

"It's okay," Kimberly assured.

"I should really head home, it's getting dark."

"Not scared of the dark are you, little T." Kimberly asked teasingly, watching Trini as she stood up and stretched out her limbs before untying the sheet that was around her neck.

"Bite me, Hart."

Kimberly took a gulp of her wine and stood up just as Trini managed to untie the sheet. She folded it as she made her way toward the door, handing it off to Kimberly when she reached it.

"Text me when you're home," Kimberly accepted the sheet from Trini.

"Are you worried about me?" Trini bantered, tensing up when Kimberly wrapped one arm around her neck, laughing against Trini's ear making the hairs on the back of the girls neck stand on end.

"Relax, I'm not going to hurt you."

Trini relaxed a little awkwardly petting Kimberly back. "Like you could, even if you wanted to."

"Is that a challenge?" Kimberly shot back as she took a step away from Trini.

"Take that however you wish." Trini grinned crookedly as she pulled the door open. "But just remember I teach martial arts and self defence for a living, I could kill a grown man with my thumb."

"Someone is a little full of themselves." Kimberly jibbed.

"It's warranted, trust me." Trini grinned, turning to Kimberly when she was outside her apartment. "I will see you around, Kim."

She didn't see her around, Kimberly was busy with work so she hadn't been around her friends and whenever she was around Trini hadn't been there.

So they hadn't really been in contact for a few weeks, save for a few messages here and there.

They didn't talk until Kimberly called Trini at five in the afternoon, in the middle of her Doctor Who marathon.

"'Ello?" Trini mumbled down the phone, her mouth stuff with chips and her hands smearing grease all over the screen.

"And here was me thinking you had an attractive voice."

Trini straightened a little at the teasing voice, the bowl of chips almost sliding off her lap. "Kimberly," she tried to say but it just came out as a mumble as she tried to swallow what was on her mouth. Kimberly laughed but waiting for Trini to speak again. "Hey, what's up?"

"Are you busy?"

Trini's eyes flitted from the bowl of chips to Caven on the TV. "Define busy?"

Kimberly let out a little huff, "Doing something that can not be put off until another time."

"Oh," Trini set the bowl on the table and wiped her hands on her jeans, her phone trapped between her shoulder and ear. "Then no, I'm not busy."

"Did you ask her, mommy?" Trini heard Cleo ask and a smile instantly etched it's was onto her lips.

"I'm about to, sweetie." Kimberly assured. "So, listen, I completely understand if you don't want to but Cleo have been going on about her 'aunt Trin' and how she preferred you looking after her..."

"Sure," Trini cut Kimberly off. "Do you want to bring her over here?"

Kimberly seemed a little stunned at first, which made Trini grin smugly. "It will be from now until around midnight."

"So, here or your place?"

"Uh, yours is good."

"Ok," Trini hummed, getting to her feet and heading off toward her room to change from her pyjamas. “Ask Cleo if she wants to go see something at the movies, I heard the live action beauty and the beast is pretty good.”

“I think I’m going to take her to see that in a few days but if there is anything else.”

“That’s fine, we can just hang out at my place. Have her bring over a few things, and I have board games we could play.”

“Okay,” Kimberly paused for a second. “Are you sure about this, Trini? I know you have things to do for work.”

“I can do some plans while Cleo is asleep,” Trini assured. “What time do kids that age usually sleep?”

“Ideally before half past seven,”

“Okay,” Trini hummed, pulling out a pair of jeans and a loose, yellow plaid shirt. “I’ll see you in a little while, then.”

“See you soon, Trin.”

Trini hung up the phone and quickly got changed before cleaning the living room. she checked herself in the mirror, fixing her hair and making sure she looked presentable (she told herself it was to make sure Cleo didn’t think she was gross but deep down Trini knew it was all to do with impressing Kimberly).

She had just finished pulling a braid down the left side of her head when the buzzer to her apartment sounded.

Trini buzzed them in and opened the door a little before making her way back through the living room into the conjoined kitchen.

“Trini?” Kimberly called.

“Kitchen,” Trini replied, smiling when she heard the sound of fast little footsteps.

“Aunt Trin!” Cleo grinned happily, hopping up into Trini’s arms.

“It’s good to see you, too, little Hart.” Trini smiled, propping the four year old on her hip. “How has your day been, cutie?”

“Good, mommy has to work so I’m here.”

Kimberly appeared just then, carrying a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bag, a smile pulled its way onto her lips at the sight. A smile that had Trini’s tummy flipping.

“Hey,” Trini greeted with a soft smile.

“Hey,” Kimberly replied. “Are you sure about this?”

“Mom, she said yes!” Cleo huffed.

“Yeah, mom, I said yes.” Trini grinned playfully at Kimberly while Cleo stuck her tongue out at her mother.

“Well, I’m not sure if leaving my already sassy child with a sassy adult is a good idea.” Kimberly arched an eyebrow at Trini who cocked her head to the left.

“Where do you think she gets her sassiness from?” Trini tilted her head pointedly at Kimberly.

Kimberly just shrugged, holding up the backpack. “This has her pyjamas and her some snacks.”

“Oh, snacks. All for me?”

“No,” Cleo scoffed. “Both of us.”

“Oh, of course.” Trini nodded seriously, digging her hand into her pocket and holding out a key to the apartment. "In case she is asleep when you come back."

"You're giving me a key to your place?"

"I want it back, obviously." Trini rolled her eyes and Kimberly laughed.

“Okay, I need to get going.” Kimberly placed the bag on the kitchen counted as she made her way over to her daughter, planting a kiss on her cheek, pulling back only lightly to lookout Trini. "I will be back by one."

Trini nodded, because that's all she could really bring herself to do. This was the first time in five year she had had Kimberly this close (well, there was last night but that was a hug so it doesn't really count), and even then it was never really this close, and there wasn't this weird feeling for domestication back then.

"You, behave." Kimberly pointed playfully at her daughter who gave her a playful little salute back. Kimberly smiled, moving her eyes back to Trini. "Thank you for this, seriously."

"Just get going, big Hart, we have some partying to do."

Kimberly smiled softly at Trini before heading for the door.

"Okay, kiddo, what's the plan?" Trini asked, setting Cleo down on the counter.

The plan, as it turns out, was princesses first, followed by lunch, then a few board games and a game of catch (which almost resulted in Trini having to buy a new TV), they had dinner after that, then settled down to watch a few movies.

Cleo fell asleep half way through the Pinocchio, her head on Trini's lap.

Trini took the opportunity of a quiet house to grab her laptop and start on everything she needed to do for work.

She was almost done with all the training plans she had to do when she heard her front door open.

She glanced over her shoulder, offering Kimberly a smile.

Kimberly faltered slightly, this was a Trini she had never seen before. Quite, soft Trini. Trini in her comfies and with her glasses on. It was a Trini she wanted to see more of.

"Hey," Kimberly said quietly, glancing at Trini's bedroom door. "Where is she?"

Trini nodded down to her lab. "She's been dead to the world for over six hours." Trini explained, looking at Kimberly with a look of desperation. "I've had to pee for an hour.”

“Then go pee,” Kimberly laughed, jabbing he fingering the direction of Trini’s. “They don’t wake up.”

Trini closed her laptop, tentatively lifting Cleo’s head upend slid out from under her, replacing her knees with a pillow. She rounded the sofa, leaning against the back, beside Kimberly. “How was work?”

“Surgery went well,”

“What was it?”

“Liver transplant. It was a kid, she was born to a woman who had hep C. The disease transferred over to the kid and she has been on meds and a special diet for years now. That’s us just got a liver for her.” Kimberly ran her hands over her face. “She was dying, if we waited any longer she might have not made it.”

“Poor kid,” Trini said and Kimberly hummed. Trini tilted her head to look up Kimberly. “You look tired.”

“It has just been surgery after surgery recently. And when I’m not in theatre I’m looking after Cleo." Kimberly sounded exhausted as she spoke. "It gets a little much sometimes."

"If you ever need time I don’t mind looking after her.” Trini offed gaining a surprised look from Kimberly. “What? I like hanging out with her, she’s cool.”

“You don’t have to do that,”

“I know,”

“Do you feel guilty?” Kimberly questioned. “About not being around.”

“Honestly? A little,” Trini admitted. “I feel bad for just dropping you, everyone.”

“I understand why.” Kimberly assured. “You felt guilty, which you shouldn’t, so I understand.”

Trini stared at Kimberly for a few seconds before nodding. “Thank you,”

Kimberly just shook her head, reaching over to grab Cleo’s backpack. “So, what did you both get up to?”

“We played princesses, had lunch, played a few board games and a few other games then settled down and watched a few movies.”

“You played princesses?” Kimberly cocked an eyebrow, a little grin appearing on her lips.

“I am a fabulous princess,”

Kimberly laughed quietly, her head drooping and her eyes moving to the floor as she smile. “I don’t doubt that.”

“You want me to help you down with her?”

“If you don’t mind,”

Trini nodded and rounded the sofa to grab Cleo, holding the young girl tight against her chest as she mumbled something in her sleep.

Once Trini had strapped the sleeping girl into her car seat she straightened up, stretching out the kink in her back.

“Thank you for this, Trini.” Kimberly softly closed the car door, turning to smile at Trini. “She really enjoys hanging out with you, she said she was always bored with her usual babysitter.”

“Any time I’m free and you need someone to look after her, I’m there,”

Kimberly nodded, holding her arms out questioningly.

Trini rolled her eyes but hugged her friend, her arms wrapping securely around Kimberly’s waist.

“I’ve missed you,” Kimberly whispered against the side of Trini’s head.

“Me to,” Trini hummed, pulling back, taking a set away from Kimberly. “Let me know you get home safe, okay?”

“I will,”

Trini waited for Kimberly to disappear down the street before heading back into her apartment, looking up and heading straight to bed.

—

They texted sporadically over the next two days but they didn’t really talk much, Trini had classes and personal training sessions and Kimberly had a few surgeries, so they didn’t really get the chance.

Trini was midway through a work out in her buildings gym when Kimberly called her.

“Hey, Kim,” Trini panted.

“Are you.. busy?” Kimberly questioned unsurely.

“I’m just working out,” Trini stepped off the treadmill, using her shirt to wipe her face. “What’s up?”

“We are going to see beauty in the beast at five,”

“Okay,” Trini frowned to herself. “Enjoy?”

Kimberly laughed, and probably rolled her eyes. “Will you come with us?”

"You want me to come?"

"Yeah," Kimberly paused for a second. ”Both of us do."

“Oh, okay, sure.” Trini murmured, trying to calm the giddy feeling in her chest at the prospect of Kimberly wanting to spend time with her. “I just need to shower then I will be ready to go.”

“Okay, I will pick you up at half four.”

“Okay, bye.”

“See you in a bit, Trin.”

Trini quickly showered and fixed her hair, pulling on a pair of jeans, a black t-shirt and her yellow beanie, a beanie she had had since high school.

Kimberly smiled widely at her when she hopping into the passenger side of the car, which caused Trini to smile back, glancing back at Cleo, doing a double take when she noticed the girl was dressed in Belle’s yellow dress.

“Wow! Kim, you didn’t say we were taking Belle along. But where is Cleo, I thought she was coming?” Trini frowned in mock confusion at Kimberly, who pursed her lips to try and hide her smile.

“Aunt T,” Cleo giggled. “It is me.”

“So it is,” Trini gasped. “I didn’t even notice you. You look very beautiful.”

“I know,” The girl grinned widely, a grin that reminded Trini an awful lot of Kimberly.

“Good girl,” Trini nodded, turning back to Kimberly who was watching the exchange with a soft smile.

“Ready to go?”

“I am,”

Trini ended up sitting in between Kimberly and Cleo (at Cleo’s request), Kimberly’s knee pressing against her own and Cleo’s little arm taking up their shared arm rest.

“I can’t believe you still have this thing,” Kimberly lightly tugged the beanie on Trini’s head. “Is this still the one from high school?”

“It is,”

“You are ridiculously attached to this thing.” Kimberly shook her head, a little smile playing on her lips.

The movie started and both Cleo and Kimberly watched with sheer amazement in their eyes. Look at their one of them made Trini smile, a fluttering feeling in her chest that she recognised from whenever she and Kimberly interacted in high school, thought now it was accompanied with this affection for this little girl she was so sure she walk hate, which made everything that much more terrifying.

By the time Kimberly dropped her off him Cleo was sleep in the back seat.

“I had fun tonight,” Kimberly turned to look at Trini. “Thank you for agreeing to come, Cleo loves having you around.”

Trini nodded, looking over at Kimberly through her eyelashes. “And you?”

This seemed to throw Kimberly for a second, “I'm inclined to agree with her,” She said. “I’ve missed having you around. I forgot how much I actually do enjoy you being around.”

“Yeah, I’ve missed being around.”

“I suppose building your own business takes up a lot of your time.”

“I still could have been around more, though.” Trini admitted quietly.

“I understand why,” Kimberly assured.

Trini nodded, “I’ll see you soon.”

“Goodnight, Kim.” Trini smiled, popping the door open.

“Trini,” Kimberly called just before Trini closed the door, prompting the woman to dip down to look at her questioningly. Kimberly looked at her, her mouth open slightly, like she was rethinking what she was about to say. “Goodnight.”

Trini wanted to push, ask what Kimberly was going to say but she decided against it, offering her a little smile and wave before softly closing the door.

Kimberly texted her once she got home and they resumed to text all night until Trini fell asleep, feeling that giddy feeling that she never got to really to experience during high school.

—

Again, it was a little while before Trini had the chance to see Kimberly and Cleo, but she spent all of her spare time texting Kimberly, which was something very foreign to Trini, actually wanted to talk to someone.  

But Kimberly had been working a lot, and when she wasn’t working Trini was, so they hadn’t had the chance to meet up.

Trini was in bed early, she had spent all day either in classes or personal training, and had to do the same tomorrow, so she was exhausted.

Her phone woke her at one am.

“Hm?” She hummed sleepily.

“Trini?”

Trini noticed the panic in Kimberly’s voice immediately, pushing herself to sit upright. “Kim? What happened?"

"It's Cleo,”

“What happened? Do you need me to come over?”

“I need someone to drive us to the hospital,”

“Okay, I will be there in ten minutes.” Trini quickly got out of bed and pulled on her joggers. “Is she okay?”

“I- I don’t know.”

“I will be there soon.” Trini grabbed her hoodie and keys, quickly leaving her apartment.

Kimberly was outside her house when Trini pulled up outside, a drowsy Cleo in her arms.

“What happened?” Trini asked as Kimberly got into the back seat.

“She had a seizure,” Kimberly strapped herself in, keeping Cleo hugged against her chest. “Remember I said she hit her head in school today but the nurse said it was nothing,I think it is something to do with that.”

Cleo was taken immediately when they entered A&E and the doctors checked her over before taking her for a scan, leaving Trini and Kimberly waiting in the cubical.

“Hey,” Trini placed a hand on Kimberly’s leg, startling the woman out of her daze. Trini ducked her head to look Kimberly in the eye. “It’s not your fault.”

“I should’ve brought her in myself, I know better than to take the opinion of some who probably only gave her a quick once over.” Kimberly wiped at her eyes. “What if she has bleeding on the brain or…”

“Kim, stop.” Trini interrupted. “I know you can’t help it, you have your doctor head on, but try not to speculate anything, it will only cause you worry more.”

“Thank you for this,” Kimberly sniffed. “I know it’s late, and you’re busy.”

“No, don’t worry about it.” Trini moved her hand to rub Kimberly’s back. “I will call everyone in the morning and reschedule.”

“You don’t have to do that, Trin.”

“I know, but I don’t want to just leave you.”

Kimberly lifted her eyes to look a Trini, smiling softly at her. "Thank you," she whispered.

Trini just smiled a tight lipped smile and nodded once.

The scan, thankfully, turned up nothing. There was no bleeding on the brain but that there were a few lacerations that maybe have caused or been caused by the seizures.

"She is okay, we will have to monitor her, if she keeps having these seizures we will put her in anti-seizure medication." The doctor explained.

"Can we see her?"

"You can. She is asleep for now, we have her wired up to a machine that take and records her brainwaves, just to be sure there are no abnormalities."

The doctor lead Trini and Kimberly to the room Cleo was sleep in. At the sight of her pale daughter lying in the hospital bed Kimberly released a muffled little sob, which prompted Trini to pull her in, holding her tight against her.

"She's okay, Kim." Trini whispered. "She's okay."

Kimberly just held her tight, waiting to calm down before stepping away from Trini and over to the bed, taking a seat beside it.

"She can go home in the morning, doctor Hart."

Kimberly nodded, offering the doctor a grateful smile.

Trini took a seat beside Kimberly, tentatively running her fingertips along her bare arm.

"Are you sure you don't mind staying?"

"Of course not." Trini assured, smiling over at the tired woman. "You should try and sleep, Kim. She is probably going to sleep through the night."

"I probably should, but I doubt I will be able to." Kimberly turned her hand over when Trini ran her fingers over the back of her head, slipping their fingers together.

Trini stared down at their hands for a few seconds before returning her eyes to Cleo. "Understandable."

"I'm supposed to be doing a surgery early tomorrow, there's no way I will be in the right mind set to do it."

"Can they have someone else do it?"

"That can but-" Kimberly shrugged. "This kid has been in my care for over a year now."

"And you only trust yourself to do the surgery?" Trini hummed. "I get that, you're the best paediatric surgeon out there."

"That's not true,"

"That is entirely true," Trini disagreed. "But I'm sure another doctor will be able to handle it."

"Yeah," Kimberly sighed.

Cleo woke up terrified around ten the following day but calmed down as soon as she spotted her mother and Trini. After a few tests and a few more hours she was released, but told to come back in a week or if there were anymore seizures."

Trini drove them home, turning to Kimberly when she pulled up outside. The girl looked at her through tired eyes. "Will you come inside?"

"Of course," Trini readily agreed, turning off her car and getting out to grab Cleo.

Cleo was back to her usual self, all smiles and gabbing away and Trini felt a sense of relief wash over her.

Kimberly was exhausted, though, so Trini ordered her to go for a nap while she hung out with Cleo.

"Is mommy okay?" Cleo asked as they watched one of her shows.

"Yeah, of course she is." Trini smiled down at the girl. "You're mother is like Wonder Woman, kiddo. Out there saving lives."

"But Wonder Woman isn't always okay."

"That is true," Trini hummed. "Your mom is just a little tired, bud, she'll be okay."

"Am I okay?"

"Yeah, you're okay." Trini smiled reassuringly down at Cleo.

And she was, there were no more seizures the days that followed and the follow up scan showed no real abnormalities. The doctor told Kimberly that it is entirely possible she could have another seizure in the future, children with post traumatic seizures are more susceptible to having more than one.

But Cleo was healthy and had no ill affects from the seizure so Kimberly decided they were going out for dinner.

Zack, Jason and Billy were already there when they got there, all of them looking equally surprised that Trini was with Kimberly but didn't say anything. They had just got Cleo settled in her seat, in between her mom and Trini, when Tammi entered.

Tammi settled in beside Trini, offering Cleo a little first bump and the toy that she had brought her, which entertained her through the wait for food.

Kimberly was at the bathroom with Cleo when everyone around the table closed in on Trini, actually startling her a little.

"What is going on?" Zack asked.

"You both seem very... domesticated." Tammi added.

"Oh, shut up." Trini huffed.

"Are you both dating?" Jason questioned hopefully.

"No, we're not." Trini hissed, glancing at the bathroom door.

“Why?" Zack frowned. "You guys almost had something in high school."

Trini rolled her eyes. It was true, everyone but Trini and Kimberly had noticed the obvious spark between them. Trini knew she had feelings for Kimberly but never acted on them, especially after Kim started dating one of the boys on the football team, and definitely not after what happened in college.

"That was high school, Zack."

Kimberly exited from the bathroom then, prompting everyone to settle back in their seats.

After dinner Trini drove Kimberly home, accepting her invitation to come inside.

They settled in the sofa after Kimberly out Cleo to bed, watching some boring reality TV show.

Kimberly's eyes were drooping by nine o'clock, which prompted Trini to grab a pillow, placing it on her lap.

Kimberly frowned at her when she nodded down at it.

"It's a pillow, Kim. Lie on it."

"You must be exhausted, too. You didn't get a nap."

"I'm fine," Trini assured, patting the pillow.

Kimberly leant her head on Trini's lap, her eyes glittering when Trini ran her fingers through her hair.

Kimberly fell asleep pretty quickly and Trini was just snoozing a an hour later when she heard Cleo's door creek opened.

She glanced back at the bedroom spotting a shy, and somewhat panicked, looking Cleo.

"Hey, cutie. Are you okay?" Trini asked quietly, lifting Kimberly's head off of her lap and stood up.

"I had a nightmare." The girl muttered bashfully, rocking from foot to foot.

"Ok, hang on a second." Trini smiled calmly at the girl before grabbing the fluffy blanket from the back of the sofa and heading for the kitchen.

She stuffed the blanket into the dryer and turned it on.

"What are you doing?"

"Have you ever been wrapped in a toasty, fluffy blanket?" Trini asked, picking the young girl up as she walked towards her, rubbing her eye with one hand and the other stretched up at Trini. "It is amazing."

Cleo bobbed her head, clutching her arms tight around Trini's neck when she picked her up.

"You wanna talk about what it was about?"

"It was just a monster and a bad woman." Cleo shrugged, playing with Trini's braid as she calmly ran her hand up and down the girls back. "Where's mommy?"

"She is asleep in the living room."

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah. Well, apart from the fact she is going to have a kink in her neck from the way she is sleeping." Trini assured. "Why? Was your dream about her?"

Cleo nodded, her cheek on Trini's shoulder as she twirled Trini's hair around his finger. "There was a woman and she hurt mommy and you. Aunt Tammi and uncle Jase, Z and Billy, too."

"You don't need to worry. Your mom is in the living room, I'm okay and everyone else is at home asleep." Trini promised.

"Can I call them?"

Trini glanced up at the clock, it was midnight, there was no doubt everyone would be asleep but she knew there was no way Cleo would be able to fall back asleep without seeing for herself that they was ok.

"Okay, but just Jason, okay?" Trini agreed, setting Cleo down on the counter before reaching over to pick up the house phone and finding Jason's number.

"Kim?"

"Jason, it's Trini."

"Trini?" Jason murmured, and Trini heard Billy asking what was wrong. "Is Kim okay? Is Cleo?"

"Yeah, they're both fine. Well, Cleo woke up after a bad nightmare, someone hurt us and she wanted to make sure you were ok."

"Oh, okay. Put her on."

Trini smiled at Cleo and handed her the phone.

"Hi, uncle Jase." The girl said timidly, wrapping the bottom of her pajama shirt around her little hand. "Yeah. Yeah, it was the same one." Cleo leant against Trini's hand when she ran her fingers calmingly through the girls long hair, nodding at what Jason was saying. "I love you, too. Babye."

Trini smiled at the girl as she handed her the phone, setting it back on the stand and moving the get the blanket from the dryer. "You okay now?"

Cleo nodded sleepily, burying into Trini's chest when she wrapped her up in blanket and lifted her off the counter. "Thank you, Aunt T."

Trini nodded, carrying Cleo into the living room and sat back down on her spot on the sofa, fixing Kimberly's head back over her lap.

Trini gentle rubbed Cleo’s back, even when she had fallen asleep, eventually falling asleep herself at around two.

—

Trini startled awake the following more with the sensation of Cleoleaving her arms, she gripped a little tighter, fearing she was falling, but relaxed when she noticed Kimberly standing over her.

"Sorry, I thought I would take her into her room.”

Trini nodded, yawning as Kimberly took Cleo out of her lap.

"Why was she out here?"

"Nightmare."

"Was it the one with all of us?” Kimberly asked, running her hand up and down her daughters back when she snuggled against her.

"Yeah. She asked me to let her call everyone last night, I couldn't really say no, so I let her call Jason.” Trini stretching her hands above her head as she sat up. "Is it a regular nightmare?"

"Yeah. It was a myth, a story about six warriors, and ever since she has had nightmares with all of us.” Kimberly explained, "I'm sorry she woke you."

“I was already awake,”

Kimberly nodded, carrying Cleo into her bed before falling back down on the sofa beside Trini, running her hand through her hair.

“How’re you holding up?” Trini asked, watching Kimberly carefully.

“I’m better, now.” Kimberly hummed. “I think I’m going to keep her off school today, but I need to go to work so I will have to call her baby sitter.”

“I would do it but I have double the classes today.”

“I know,” Kimberly hummed, placing a hand on Trini’s thigh. “Thank you, this would have been so much harder if you hadn’t been around.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Trini covered Kimberly’s hand with her own, tentatively at first before curling her fingers around her hand and gave it a little squeeze. “I want to be there for you.”

This statement forced Kimberly to look up at her, her eyes searching Trini’s for something, just what she was looking for, Trini wasn’t really sure. “Trin,” Kimberly whispered and Trini arched her eyebrow questioningly. Kimberly’s mouth opened again, like she was about today something but after a few seconds she jeer decided to life her hand to tentatively touch Trini’s cheek. Her eyes moved from Trini’s eyes, to her lips and back again. “Can I?”

Trini’s bottom lip quivered slight as she took a breath in, nodding her head slowly. “Yeah,” Trini said in a gruff voice.

Kimberly began leaning forward, her eyes slipping closed. Trini mirrored her movements, meeting Kimberly in the middle.

Trini felt her head thumb against her ribs as Kimberly moved her lips against her own, tentatively at first before her fingertips slid down Trini’s cheek and her neck, curling around the back and pulling Trini closer, effectively deepening the kiss.

Trini gasped when they separated, her brow furrowed and her mouth hanging open.

“You okay?” Kimberly questioned in a low, gravely voice.

“Mhm,” Trini hummed, cleaning her through as she opened her eyes.

Kimberly smiled when they made eye contact again. “Hey,”

“Hey,” Trini’s lips pulled into a large smile. “I need to get going soon, I have a class at nine.”

“Just kissing and leaving me,”

“Never,” Trini swore, her hand sliding up to Kimberly’s hip. “I will stop by tonight, if that is okay? I can make you dinner?”

“A date?”

“A date,” Trini confirmed, smiling hopefully at Kimberly. “What do you say?”

“I say hell yes,” Kimberly pressed her lips together to try and prevent the smile that was pulling at the corner of her lips. She failed miserably. “Go get changed and beat people up.”

“You go get changed and cut people up.”

Kimberly laughed, shaking her head at Trini and pushed at her shoulder. “Get out of here.”

Trini hopped off the sofa, moving to the back and leaning her hands on to backboard, smiling down at Kimberly. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye,” Kimberly smiled coyly up at Trini.

Trini gently took ahold of Kimberly’s chin, tilting her head back and planting a lingering kiss on Kimberly’s lips. “Bye,” she whispered against her lips.

“Bye,” Kimberly breathed back.

Trini forced herself to leave then, because if she didn’t she knew she probably wouldn’t leave at all.

She was giddy the entire ride home, a little smile playing on her lips every time she thought about or their impending date.