#But that will be oookaaaaay probably

[vio1315]

Oh right 

I keep meaning to do a life update

Because long time followers remember when I posted a lot of personal struggles on here and I like never follow up on that stuff

And have since stopped posting personal stories as often whoops

Honestly I don’t remember everything I left as a loose thread that could be ‘is she okay’ so basically:

>Yes I am okay

>Most the stuff I was having trouble with happened like 5+ years ago now

>I am still pretty shut in, but I have a good job and I do go out once a week technically

>Much more mentally stable, I don’t really get the sort of empty feelings I used to anymore

>Every day I am unsure if I am like 🤖 to other people, or if I live normally. But I have unworked a lot of the emotional repression stuff I was doing subconsciously, and have gained a capacity for the ‘feeling of love’ (since love isn’t really a feeling, but you know the feeling I mean). Idk if I never experienced it before, but if I did it was Extremely rare compared to now. I certainly had devotion, but idk

It’s like ‘oh my prayers were answered on this topic again :0 ‘

I think I am pretty content generally, but I still don’t have happy feelings or fun feelings that often on my own, but this is super normal for me and doesn’t bother me the way the ‘void feelings’ did. It just vibing

>I did get a few extra sensory issues, probably from being shut in, but nothing that makes it any harder to go out. I should go out more still, but not many ideas of where to go for now

>I lost touch with the rest of my rl friends more or less (ﾟ⊿ﾟ) I went through a big thing of making myself not burn bridges and then like 4 months later they stopped contacting me anyways. I haven’t really felt any issue about it so have been leaving it be, but I guess I’ll crack that case back open if it ever starts to feel like a big thing that needs to be done

>My family is doing pretty well : ) 

>Story stuuffffff. I went through about a year of work to make my to do list better, so now I can focus on writing, sort of. And hopefully I can finish my script for TTF in good time now after the Big Delay of relaying the foundation and needing to get life in order. It will take a Long time because I insist on doing all 10 arcs before starting to draw it, so like... I still am mostly gonna be quiet on the topic for awhile

>Life plans? Nope, never. I still live very in the present, so I will just continue my job till I get fired probably and try my best to keep using my free time well. Or start

>Nobody wonders about this but I swear to you, vitamins/supplements make me sick every time I take them. Like literally sick. Like with germs and things. How????? How???? They had nothing in common between the three diff supplements, but each time I started I would get sick for like 2 weeks or a month ??? But I will keep trying to see if this is actually happening because ??? How ????

>Oh yeah, I am trying to get my health better and actually gained much weight 🥳 maybe someday exercise too, but I wanna tighten daily schedule first

>I am looking at some other mental disorders where I think ‘do I have that???’ But just for the sake of communication. I still don’t really need medication to manage the strange stuff. Coping mechanisms generally work pretty good for me, and learning to weed out bad ones and so on. I haven’t felt ANXIOUS in a bit now, and idk maybe not as often. I know I was like a year or two ago, but it goes down every year overall.

Lots of things that used to make me anxious just don’t so much anymore

That’s everything I can really think of right now

Life is basically good overall for me. 

Health is good for me, though I still need to work on actually doing things to be good to my body.

Socializing is pretty good in the forms I do it, but I still need to go out more to prevent my brain from getting weird about ‘sounds and feelings I can’t control’ and all

Fam : ) 

Everything is chill actually. I basically vent here less now just because I have more opportunity to vent directly to people when there’s a need to wjdnejd but I don’t think anything major comes up that often

But also my emotional memory is really low hwjdnwjd like I know for a fact a year or two ago there was a month where I was super unwell and stressed, but legit idk what that felt like, I just know it happened

So maybe the frequency Could be similar, but I wouldn’t know it 🤔 but certainly less major events happen, and that’s good with me

Just an update cuz I realize it’s easy to vent and all, but when things resolve, it’s less interesting to talk about, so you leave people hanging unintentionally, since posting directly on here barely feels like talking to anyone anyways, super easy to let that go

I am not a private person honestly, so hope this doesn’t seem weird to anyone widjsjdn

[liquidchocolatecake]

second try here we go

oookaaaaay let’s try and get my thoughts back from before tumblr decided to ruin my entire everything

so i tried to ramble about this before but it got deleted so this is not gonna be as good as my first try but

i really want to know what the deal is with original sou hiyori

because like

as the information is presented to us right now (and i have not played the chapter 3 demo) he was seemingly brought back to life after being murdered by alice

and i have an au where sou is brought back as a doll shortly after alice murders him but i’m pretty sure that he also was/is going to be brought back as a doll in canon? like. i’m fairly certain that he’s the person in the bed who sara and keiji see through the glass in 2-2 when they find the room with the security footage. and that’d be the only way to bring him back from the dead, as the information from kai’s laptop points towards. the only difference between the two is that in the au he’s brought back after like a day or two and in canon asunaro waited almost 3 years

and they can only update the ai’s personalities every 3 years

so either the doll technology wasn’t developed enough at the time of the murder for them to be confident bringing him back right away or bringing back the version of sou from 3 years before the murder would hinder the plans for the death game in some way

so??? what happened? how much did sou change in those 3 years? did he only agree to help shortly before the murder? would the past version of him have actively tried to stop the death game before it started? he’s almost certainly tied up with asunaro and incredibly important to the setup of the death game, so did alice find out about that and kill him to try and stop the game before it could start?

and how did he get tied up with asunaro in the first place? and why? was he willing to help out with the plan or did they have to manipulate him in some way? did he do it for money? did he want to be a part of the doll research? or did he have a more personal reason, like i’m pretty sure sara’s dad does? everyone finds him familiar but no one knows why, shin has his scarf (or sou had shin’s scarf, depending on who it belonged to first) and he chose sou’s name to use as his new identity for the killing game, but (iirc, i still need to replay 2-2 to gather more information and clear up stuff i’ve forgotten since my first playthrough) he says it was just a name he came up with and nothing more, so clearly sou knew most, if not all, of the candidates and there’s some memory erasure stuff going on somehow.

i’d also say that he was probably close to sara and maybe reko and alice (which is where that post about alice and sou possibly being good friends before the murder came from) because when alice asks sara if she knew what reko’s band was called she can’t remember and a point is made of the fact that sara struggling to remember is weird

it’s not a “i don’t realy remember, i don’t keep track of this stuff” thing, it’s a “i can’t remember and that’s really weird” thing. something is actively keeping her from remembering. i know this bit probably has more to do with joe than with sou, but this happens in 2-1, before kanna’s possible death can push sou to erase sara’s memories of joe

and going back to the “person in the bed” thing

if i’m right and that is sou, why is he there??? next to the security room??? are the kidnappers monitoring him? if he’s a doll at this point, then i see no point for there to be an iv drip, so did the kidnappers find some way to keep him alive after alice tried to kill him? is he in a coma? and why start the death game without him if he’s so important to it that they went out of their way to either keep him alive or make him into a doll?

idk what my point with this is, i just really want to ramble about original sou. partly because he’s definitely important and partly because i’m really curious about the murder, but also just because like 99 percent of the time i immediately latch onto any character who gets little to no spotlight in canon

i really want to believe that original sou is a good person at heart and i could probably try back that up, but i also can’t shake the feeling that he really is a bastard through and through like gashu

once i replay 2-2 i might come back to this with more screenshots

also you have no clue how hard it was to not slip a sou pun in here somewhere

[ask-2p-spamano]

Favorite animals and colours?

Flavio: “My favorite color is probably a pale pink, like a carnation, and my favorite animal is a wolf”

Andres: “Don’t have one and shark.”

Flavio: “Why a shark?”

Andres: “Once one ate Antonio. *total deadpan* It was hilarious.”

Flavio: “………oookaaaaay then…..” *total wtf facial expression*