#COULD SIS HAVE TRIED TO AT LEAST PITCH HER VOICE UP SOMEWHAT

[gender-euphowrya]

oh THAT WAS INSULTING

[mor-beck-more-problems]

Reading Rainbow || Morgan & Leah (feat. Sundew and her pixie troop)

TIMING: Current

PARTIES: @phoenixleah & @mor-beck-more-problems

SUMMARY: The White Crest Supernatural Literacy Initiative has its first test run. Results are....mixed.

Pixies fly in the sky I can go twice as high Just take a look It's in a book A reading rainbow

“Are you sure you’re good to go?” Morgan asked, rocking along the edge of the woods. She had secured her keys and phone to her carabiner and tucked everything else she needed in her knapsack: water, taser, knife, snacks, offerings, stationary. She’d asked Deirdre for advice on what pixies liked best. She’d gone through her checklist, and she had a good feeling about this expedition. The fae were so insular and some of the smaller of the bunch, so underserved by the world. Living out in the wild, away from even an Aos Si, surely they could use a leg up for when they had to deal with humans, or if they wanted to engage with the rest of supernatural society. Literacy had been Leah’s idea, of course. But while she had seemed plenty excited by it when they’d talked, Morgan still worried about that knack for suppression she’d mentioned, and the wolf injuries that were only just healing. Was this too much too soon? Was she being a bad friend for not waiting longer?

Morgan squinted behind her over the glare of mid-morning sunlight. Her friend’s hiking bag was at least half her sized, packing everything from a small library’s worth of board books and mini books, to shiny offerings, to camping equipment, including a tent, for some reason. She was one strong wind away from being knocked over, and Morgan couldn’t help but laugh a little. “We can always come back if you’re not up to it, or if you feel like you uh, need more supplies before going in.”

Leah looked over at Morgan, adjusting the bag over her shoulder with a determined nod.  “I’m fine, really”, she said, although her eyes didn’t quite meet her friends. She was fine, right?  She’d gone out plenty of times since her incident with Ada, and physically, she was fit as a fiddle, thanks to Nisa.  Still, it seemed every time she ventured out lately- first with Nicole and then with Kaden, she was faced with another monster attack to deal with, all before fully processing the trauma of what happened with Ada.  But she wanted to be over it- an encounter with a monster was never much of a bother before, and she was determined not to let it be now.  “I’m fine”, reiterated.  “I’m excited, actually… I really think we could do something good here.”

They had been talking for months about spreading literacy around White Crest, and so doing it here and now was the perfect way to clear her mind from all the annoying anxieties that seemed to be popping their way in these days.   She shook her head playfully, a smirk playing on her lips.  Nicole, too, had something to say about the size of her bag.  “It never hurts to be prepared”, she said, holding up her hands in mock defense.  “I’ve genuinely thought of everything, Morgan.  There’s not one thing we could go back for.”  As they walked toward a small picnic table in the distance, she glanced at her friend again, smiling softly.  “Besides, it’d just be rude to back out now, don’t you think?”

“No, I don’t, actually,” Morgan said. “I can handle this just fine on my own if you wanted to take it easy for today. I know you’re all shiny and healed, but that doesn’t mean you have to go running into the trees to look for pixies.” But Leah seemed sure, and they did have all the supplies they needed, and then some. “Come here,” she sighed, reaching for her friend’s hand. “Thank you for doing this with me. Lets poke a little way’s into the trees, okay?”

She squeezed Leah’s hand, securing her grip, and walked to where nature clustered the thickest.

“Oh no!” She called. “I think we’ve already lost our way back to the park! I sure hope no one comes to try and take advantage of us! Don’t you?” She winked and Leah, encouraging her to add to the ruse.

Morgan’s insistence that she didn’t need her help was sweet, but Leah didn’t want to miss out on an opportunity like the one they were about to take.  Maybe Morgan could handle it on her own, but Leah needed to be there, for her own mental health.  She took a deep breath, stepping forward slightly and letting Morgan’s hand wrap around her own.  She was fine.  Her eyes were alert for any tiny creatures buzzing by, knowing that in order to teach a pixie to read, they’d have to find one first.

She nodded at Morgan with a smirk, her eyes becoming comically wide and her arms outstretched.  “I do hope we do not run into any tricks, dear Morgan.  We are just two small friends, trying to find our way home! However will we solve this predicament?”  Her voice was a bit too loud to be believable, but she was really committing to this act they were putting on.  “If only there were someone to play a game with us!”

A high pitched giggle emerged from behind them, followed by a slight rustling of the brush.  She pressed her lips together to suppress a smile, glancing at Morgan to see if she’d noticed.

“What’s that?” Morgan said, still exaggerating her voice for the benefit of any pixies hiding deeper in the trees. “Did you hear something? It sounded kind of scary, don’t you think?” She turned and started walking backwards, nodding encouragingly at Leah. “I think I’ll stop and have some of this candy to make myself feel better.” She slung her bag to one shoulder and took out a bag of candy fruit slices, crinkling it as loud as she could.

A hum of fluttering wings tickled her ears. Morgan turned. “Hello--?”

“GOT YOUR NOSE!”

The pixie was so close, she could only see a glowing blur of pink and green. There was a quiet pop like bubbles bursting under fingertips and then a gory impression of Morgan’s severed nose appeared in the pixie’s arms. She flitted back, cackling so hard with delight she started flying in backflips.

“I’ll take that!” Another pixie squeaked. The fruit candy bag was ripped from her grasp and plunked to the floor. Morgan turned, dazed, and saw two tiny sets of legs sticking out of the opening and kicking to find their balance.

“Wha--oh, Stars!” Morgan felt for her nose, just in case. She wasn’t sure if she got to grow a new one if anything happened to it.

“Made you look! Willowbud, look how dumb she is! I made her look!”

Sighing with relief when she felt it, Morgan finally let herself laugh. “You sure did! That was--whew!--some big magic. But I have much better candy if you and your friends will talk to me.” She grinned slyly at them. “And I have it on some very good authority that it’s one of your favorites.”

Leah followed Morgan slowly, her eyes still wide with fake fear, trying to grab the attention of the pixies that were sure to be nearby.  “I am feeling very, very scared right now, Morgan.  Thank goodness you brought so much candy to keep us well fed and nourished.”  There was somewhat of a robotic tone applied to her put upon acting voice, but she felt it was doing the job all the same.  

It was fascinating to be able to watch the pixies from so close, and she savored every moment, hoping she could remember it all to document later.  She had seen a few as a child, and read about them tons, but being this close was a real treat.  She wondered if the excitement shone on her face as much as it fluttered in her heart.

Strands of her hair floated above her head, and she heard the faint buzzing of wings as another pixie held it up, pulling and prodding as if it were the most interesting thing the pixie had ever seen.  It flew directly in front of her face, it’s glow shining bright on her nose.  “You’ve got a stain on your shirt!”, the pixie squeaked, pointing down toward Leah’s chest.  She looked down, mocking shock, before it flew up playfully, poking her in the nose.  “MADE YOU LOOK!”

The other pixies erupted in fits of giggles before marveling  at Morgan’s news, all rushing toward the candy offered to them.  Leah, for her part, got to work on setting up the mini chairs and table she’d borrowed from her niece’s play set, a perfect size for the pixies before them.  “You can even sit down, if you’d like!”, she offered, grinning slyly and excitedly at Morgan.  This plan might actually work!

Morgan eased to the ground, tearing open a handful of pixie sticks and hold them out. The pixies abandoned the candy fruit slices and flitted over, pulling at their favorites and dousing themselves in sugar.

“That one’s mine!” One of them cried.

“I saw it first!” Said another one.

“It has my name on it! See? It’s Appleseed!”

“They all say the same thing!”

“It’s okay, I have enough colors for everyone!” Morgan said. “But maybe one of you can tell me what these words on the candies do say?”

“Why? Don’t you know, Dummy-Boob?”

Morgan squinted. There was something strangely familiar about this one, the way she fluffed her pollen-strewn hair or flew a little ahead of the others, like she was the boss, or the name she called her. “I asked you first,” she said. “What’s your name, anyway?”

“Sundew,” the pixie said. “Can I have yours?”

“No. Deirdre told me all about your little tricks, and she would be mad if you used our friend offerings to trick me. You wouldn’t make a fae mad on purpose, would you?”

The pixies swarmed into a tittering argument about whether Morgan could possibly mean their Deirdre, and who had last visited her and knew how she was doing, and could they trust this human to know anything about her?

“Not a human,” Morgan tried to interject. “And you can call me Morgan, and you can call my very good and also not-human friend here, Leah!”

“Oh! The Morgan Thing! Yes, yes, yes, I knew it all along,” Sundew said. “I remember you! Your face still looks like a Dummy Boob, but I guess since you gave us Pixie Stickses, you’re good for something.”

That was definitely not how to pronounce Pixie Sticks, but Morgan could see the mistake froSundew flew lazily down to the doll furniture and started munching on her treats. Only then did the other pixies join in. If Sundew thought it was alright, then they could enjoy what was being put in front of them. Morgan side-eyed Leah. She had never been especially good at speaking queen bee unless she was bartering something she knew was wanted, and how were they supposed to convince the pixies that this was a ‘them’ thing?

Leah had no doubt that Morgan would be well versed on how to deal with the pixies, especially after she avoided Sundew’s trick about names.  She chuckled at the attempt, observing how the other pixies deflated with disappointment as Morgan refused.  

She smiled shyly at the pixies as she was introduced, offering them a small wave as some of them swarmed around her in curiosity.  “Morgan’s good for a lot of things, actually”, Leah said, noting how much the other pixies seemed to follow this Sundew’s lead.  If they needed to get through to any of them first, it was definitely her. “If you think her Pixie Stickses are good, just wait until you get a look at her flowers and cakes.” Locking eyes with Morgan, she sent her a quick nod, a plan quickly forming in her head.

“Here’s the thing, Sundew.  These human treats that the Morgan thing brought?...”-  she glanced at Morgan at that, amused, before continuing. “...there are tons of them, all over the world.  And they’re totally delicious, right?”  The pixies around them tutted tiny noises of agreement as they munched on their own, and Leah sat down on the grass before she continued on, planting a dramatic, sad look on her face.  “The problem is that Morgan thing here only brought us the very best tastes.  Some of the tastes of the treats?  Just awful.  You get your tongue on one of the bad ones, it’ll be the only thing on your mind for weeks!”

Dramatic gasps erupted around them, and Sundew seemed to lean forward in her tiny chair.  “There’s only one sure way to know which taste you’re about to get, Sundew, and that’s being able to read what flavor treat you’re about to eat.”  She sighed dramatically, sitting back on her hands in the grass.  Maybe, if Sundew thought this was her idea, she’d actually go for it.  “Do you know how to read, Sundew?”  She stared at the sky as she asked, as if the question was as casual as asking someone if they knew how to ride a bike (reading was obviously much more important).

“Of course I can read, Lee-lee,” Sundew said, puffing out her tiny, glowing chest. “And I can write too! Which is more than a dummy boob can do. How else would I know it says pixie stickies?” She proudly rippled open a blue pixie stick and dumped a heap of it onto her face to wipe and lick off her face.

“Okay, well, what about you?” Morgan asked, pointing to another pixie. “How do you know which one tastes the best?”

“Your face knows which one is the best!” Sundew interrupted.

“Obviously red always tastes best,” the other pixie said. “That’s why I get all the red ones.”

“See? We knowsy-knows everything we need to, Morgan Dummy Boob,” Sundew said. “You can tell Deirdre thank you for all her presents and I got that sexy spriggan’s number for her just in case she changes her mind, you’re welcome very much for--”

“Okay, moving on!” Morgan said, growing shrill.

Another pixie flitted up to Leah, pulling on her ear to get her attention. “Do you have any more of the stripey ones with the crinklies? I love the minty ones so much, they’re so good, and the stripes are so pretty and then if you get them sticky, you can put them under people’s fingers and toes and make them scream and it’s sooo much fun.”

“What’s this?” Two more said, picking at the doll furniture she’d brought. Together they pulled up one of the tiny cabinets with mini books and spun it around before letting it fall and tumble on the ground. Then up again, and down again, higher, letting the doors snap on their fragile hinges and all the carefully assembled books fall into the dirt.

“Oh, but you wouldn’t want to make people scream, would you?” Leah chided, tilting her head to the side.  “That wouldn’t be very nice.”  She was too focused on the pixie in front of her to notice the rumblings of Sundew and some of the others, who conspired with tiny whispers and giggles behind her.

Leah let out a sharp gasp as her ear was yanked, the action taking her off guard and causing her heart to flutter.  She closed her eyes and let out a breath, and a flash of snarling, hungry werewolf teeth snapped into her vision.  She had sworn that the flashbacks were over with, that they’d no longer be disrupting and distressing her at the drop of a hat, but somehow, she kept being proved wrong. Opening her eyes with a start, she swallowed a hard lump in her throat, attempting to focus all of her energy on here, on now, on this.  

She reached into her bag, about to feel around for another candy cane to hand over to the small fae with some more coaxing toward reading when the commotion with the doll furniture caught her attention. “Don’t!, ...-stop!”  All that hard work, all the arranging and careful planning she’d done, it was a waste if the pixies weren’t going to take it seriously.  She reached forward, ready to pull the furniture away from them and carefully piece back together, but the pixies were quicker than she was.  

“Don’t stop?  Okay, we won’t!” one of them giggled, picking up the nearly destroyed, tiny books and dropping them again and again.

She pushed herself up into a standing position, determined to snatch the books and furniture away from them for good, when the pixies who had been conspiring behind her let out another raucous round of giggles, and Leah only realized why when it was too late.  

In a matter of seconds, they had managed to tie her shoelaces together, causing her to tumble back toward the ground with a scream, landing on her hands in front of her with a grunt.  Her mind flashed again, and suddenly, she could feel herself tumbling down her hall stairwell with the wolf, breaking and bending and bruising something new with each passing moment.  No.  No no no.  She didn’t want to break anymore, she needed to get away and find a way out and-

“I think we do want to make people scream, Lee-Lee.  Even not-human people, like you!”

She wasn’t in her house, it wasn’t that night, everything was healed. So why did she still feel so broken?  

As she attempted to push herself back up, the pixies swarmed her, tugging at her hair, her ears, her fingers, her clothes- anything they could to elicit more silly screams and prove their point.  Tears stung at her eyes, but she was essentially useless against their tricks, and even as she successfully pushed herself up into a sitting position, they continued to taunt her.

Morgan tried to shield Leah with her body, but there was no point when the pixies could fly over and around her to keep pinching, pulling, and laughing at Leah. “That’s enough!”

“You’re right, we should move onto tickle torture!” Sundew squealed.

“No, that is not what I mean--”

“But she’s so funny when she screams!”

“I know, a-and I understand that but…” But what? What was more important to a pixie than tormenting someone for fun? Panic tensed through Morgan’s muscles. She couldn’t hurt them. She couldn’t scare them. “WHAT IF I KNEW A BETTER WAY!” She shouted. “I know a better way to mess with humans!”

The pixies didn’t stop, but they did look up with eager faces, and some paused in pulling on her hair.

“It’s so fast, once you really know how, and the humans make it so easy, they won’t even know it!”

Sundew folded her arms and flitted up to stare Morgan in the eyes. “Oh, yeah? And what’s that?”

“I won’t tell you anything about it until you leave Leah alone.”

Sundew didn’t seem to like putting a stop to her fun, but she and the other pixies came to the same conclusion with one exchange of looks. Yes, finding easy ways to trick the humans did sound like more fun.

One by one they let go of Leah and flitted over to Morgan and as they each crowded around her vision, she realized that she had no ideas in her head but one, and she would have to hope very hard that this went over very well. “I--need you all to come over here and give me a little space while I show you.”

She took out a notebook and one of the markers she’d brought and wrote very carefully, one word on each set of lines. She was tempted to add an artistic flourish but remembered from her friend crying behind her that these pixies were not as child-like as they seemed, and she wasn’t in the mood to have her art critiqued. “Okay,” she said, donning her teacher-voice. “Can anyone tell me what this says?”

Silence from the pixies.

“This is a way to get humans to do almost anything you want,” Morgan said. “If you can get them to say this or agree to this in writing, You can have so many kinds of fun. Better kinds. And, it works both ways, so you should probably know how to read it.”

“That doesn’t look like anything so special to me,” Sundew said, glaring skeptically.

“We can break it down. It’s definitely a long phrase. You all know the first word, right?” They did. “And the second one?” Only Sundew knew agree, which she was very proud of. But when they got to terms and conditions, the little pixie folded her arms and stuck up her little nose.

“If you’re lying about these words, you’re going to be in sticky-sticky trouble,” She said. “No one gets away with lying to pixies.”

Morgan held out the marker to her. “If you really think I’m lying, then you should be able to check the box without any worries, shouldn’t you?”

All the pixies looked at her, waiting to see what would happen.

“I could tell you first, though, if you want to trust me,” Morgan said.

Sundew got as far as hovering the marker above the checkbox before her doubt came in. “Fine,” she huffed. “What does it say?”

And Morgan told her which each word meant, one by one, helping the others sound it out slowly. “Alright, so put together what does that mean?”

“I agree to your terms and conditions!”  Willowbud cried. Her face fell as she realized what she’d said. “..Oops.”

“That’s okay, Willowbud. I release you,” Morgan said. “But you see, you don’t have to speak words to make them powerful. You can do all kinds of magic if you learn to write them down and leave them for other people to find. And there’s even more words than that out here. I could teach you some more of them, but, I’m definitely going to need you to do some things for me first.”

Sundew reluctantly agreed and the rest of the pixies let out the rest of their enthusiasm. Morgan would exchange one lesson in exchange for staying on task while they were in the learning area, which would be in her garden next but might change and be established by her later. And she would get one favor for releasing Willowbud so quickly and recognizing Sundew as her very special teaching assistant. When this was settled, Morgan helped the pixies gather all their candy into the spare dinner napkin they’d brought and waved at them as they flew away, carrying the stash between them all.

When the pixies were gone, really, completely, and not even in earshot gone, Morgan sagged on the ground with relief and crawled over to Leah. “Hey…” she said gently. “That was uh...pretty wild huh? Definitely not how I planned to do things. Are you okay? I brought some first aid stuff, if they did anything to you. Is it okay if I take a look? Leah?”

There was no end in sight, no stop to the pulling, and picking, and flashbacks.  The torment- it was everlasting, even with Morgan’s muted voice in Leah’s ears trying to talk the pixies down.  But the endless did have an end, even in the darkest of moments, and slowly but surely, whatever Morgan was saying seemed to lure them away.

As soon as it was possible, Leah pushed herself up, crossing her arms over her chest and walking briskly away from the group to lean against a nearby tree, trying to steady her breathing.  The trees around them, despite staying in the same space, felt like they were closing in on her, inching and inching until she’d soon have no space left to breath.  Suddenly, she was pinned under the wolf again, with no way out of the darkness that encompassed them.  There was a sweat above her brow that hadn’t been there earlier.

Why did she still feel like this?  Why couldn’t it just be over?  She knew she was safe, she knew a bunch of pixies couldn’t hurt her- so why did her brain keep insisting on flashing back to that one, fateful night?

Something in Morgan’s tone shook her out of her thoughts, and Leah’s attention was turned back to her friend and the pixies, who were now surrounding Morgan.  How much time had passed since she walked away from them?  It had felt like hours, at least, but the position of the sun suggested it had merely been a few moments.  

I agree to the terms and conditions.

Suddenly, a new wave of panic bubbled up inside her at what Morgan was saying, at what she was doing, and she closed the distance between them in a flash.

“Morgan-”, she warned, but it was too late- the pixies were already fluttering away with satisfied grins, clearly already planning the tricks they’d play with all they’d learn from Morgan.  Her body slunk back down to the ground, in shock and disbelief at what her friend had just done.

“What did you just agree to?” she asked, her eyes wide and angry. Her voice sounded foreign in her ears.  It was raspy and uneven and held emotion that she was not yet ready to let spill over.  “Why would you… They’re going to torment the whole town, Morgan!  Do you have any idea how dangerous what you just did is?  How much damage it will do?”

She ignored Morgan’s offer of first aid, too enveloped in the thought of what the pixies might do with all they were about to learn.  She was fine.  She told Morgan as such, crossing her arms over her chest again.

Morgan flinched back, bewildered. “What did I--” Leah didn’t look tormented anymore, she looked furious. Instinctively, Morgan inched further away. She replayed the last few minutes, but the only thing she could see as wrong was abandoning her friend for so long. But she couldn’t have done things any faster. Or if she could have, but she didn’t know how. “I--I did what I could. I negotiated a no mischief or violence in the learning area agreement so this doesn’t happen again! I got them to leave you alone! What do you mean damage? They--it’s gonna be fine. They’ll have to write a whole lot more convincingly than Sundew’s chickenscretch before they can scam the town into hopping on one foot til they pass out.”

She still had this impulse that she should do something. Her bag was close by. She should check Leah for injuries, right? But stronger than this impulse was her confusion. “I--don’t understand what’s happening right now, Leah. You need to tell me what’s happening because I don’t--I-I know it wasn’t great but isn’t this what we--what is it you think I should be doing?” Morgan finally met her gaze, her look accusing through her hurt.

This was too much.  There was a thought, somewhere in the back of her head, that maybe Leah wouldn’t be reacting the way she was if she hadn’t just been tormented by the pixies- if she hadn’t spent the last few weeks tormented by nightmares of being attacked by werewolves, and tiny snowmen that liked to stab your ankles.  If the town hadn’t been plagued with people falling into sleep and never woken up again.  “And you don’t think they’ll find a way around that? They’re pixies, Morgan. They’re known for their tricks!  Giving them the power of those words is like tossing a lit match into a dry forest. They’ll learn… they’ll teach each other, and handwriting be damned, they’ll torment the whole damn town with this.”

She held Morgan’s gaze for a moment, her breathing shallow and heavy, before sucking her teeth and looking at the ground below them. “I don’t know”, she muttered finally, her voice small.  “I don’t...know”.  A panic began to rise in her chest, building and building in neverending wave of worry.  “Everything feels like a big deal, Morgan.  Everything feels like it’s about to come crashing down, all the time and all at once.  I can’t differentiate between real danger and everyday mishaps, I can’t-...” She let out a sob and put a hand over her chest, struggling to catch her breath.

“No! They’re not going to take over the world! And what’s wrong with appealing to what they like? We’re not here to change them or make them like humans! I don’t--I don’t--I---” Morgan sputtered, quivering as she tried to assemble the pieces between them faster. Her mind whirred in place, nothing made sense, nothing fit. Weren’t they supposed to accept supernaturals the way they were, as long as there wasn’t recreational murder involved? Sure, the pixies might get up to some intense stuff, but education wasn’t about programming people to be like you. The pixies would always be themselves, that wasn’t something to fix.

But Leah breathed, and then she quieted, and then she cried, and then she panicked. Panic, Morgan knew how to handle.

“Hey. Hey, Leah...can I come close?” She inched towards her, hands in plain sight. “I just want you to breathe with me. You know all about breath control, yeah? It’s, um, it’s actually a nice game to play when your lungs don’t regulate themselves anymore because you’re dead.” She let out an uneasy laugh, unsure if levity was something that would help at a time like this. “Breathe slowly with me, and tell me how you feel.” Tentatively, she reached for Leah’s hands and tapped the familiar rhythm on her knuckles. “In, hold, out. In, hold, out. Where did you go, when they hurt you? Come back to me, help me understand…” She kept tapping, kept breathing, and strained all her dead senses toward the earth, searching for more answers.

Leah’s ears felt like they were clogged, and Morgan’s words were far away and muffled, and she could barely make them out.  But she continued to hold her eyes, silently pleading with her to help stop whatever magic the pixies had sprouted that  was making her lose her breath.  This had to be the pixies, right?  But then Morgan was requesting to come closer, clear as day, and Leah did what she could to let out a nod.  Breath control.  Yes.  It was one of the first things she learned as a child in phoenix training.  Controlling your breath was often the first step in controlling your fire, or even in focusing your heat.  Focus, focus ,focus.

She tentatively let Morgan take her hand- it had felt like an anchor on her chest, as if before Morgan had reminded her about breath control it was the only thing keeping her grounded. In, hold, out.  It was hard, now, but she kept trying.  In, hold, out.  Focus.  In, hold, out.  “I-I...my house, that night…”  In, hold, out.  She was here, not there.  There was far away and gone and didn’t exist anymore, right?  “...with A-...with the, ...werewolf”.  She let out another sob, squeezing Morgan’s hand tight.  “I… it’s still… I can’t stop…” In, hold, out.  In, hold, out.  “I thought I could… be over it.  I thought I could forget.  I can’t even get myself into my fucking guest room to clean up the mess we made, I … I can barely sleep through the night without waking up with a start thinking she’s there again, I…”  She looked at Morgan again, clinging to her for answers, or comfort, or anything.  “...I can’t stop feeling like this.”

“Oh, Leah,” Morgan whispered. She pulled herself closer to her friend and put her free hand on her shoulder and tugged, gently. You can fall, she wanted to say. I’ve got you. Let me catch you. I’ve got you. “Keep focusing. In, hold, out.” She did it with her even if her lungs didn’t need the exercise. “You’re with me now. You’re not alone. I’ve got you, and I’m not going to let anything happen to you. You’re safe now, Leah. Keep breathing with me.” In, hold, out. In, hold, out…

Steadily they went, one round after another, and all the while Morgan told her I’m here, you’re safe, I’m here. At last, when the worst seemed to be ebbing away, Morgan said, “You can’t hide from it, Leah. It’ll just jump out of the shadows at you like this. Love sorrow. She is yours now, and you must take care of what has been given.” She reached up to comb her fingers through Leah’s hair. “I’m sorry. I am so, so very sorry you must carry this with you. That you can’t pretend like it never happened, that you can’t go back to being someone this hadn’t happened to. But you can control it, if you look at it, if you hold it long enough, you can keep it calm and quiet, and one day it won’t be so big or so heavy.” She tugged on Leah again, urging her into her arms. “You have to be the one to decide, though. We don’t have to talk about it right now if you don’t want to. Whatever you need is what we’ll do. I am your friend and I love you and I am here for you as much as you’ll let me.”

In, hold, out.  It was helping, Leah thought. In, hold, out. It seemed to be helping.  The breaths started entering her lungs more willingly, although the pit in her stomach didn’t cease.  And she let herself let go.  For the first time since the incident, she let herself be cradled and held and cared for.  It wasn’t to her sister, or Bea or Jas, who’d all offered countless times to help her pick up the pieces, but it was here, with Morgan, in the middle of the forest, when her resolve finally cracked.  It felt ironic, but she didn’t know why.  She listened to Morgan’s words, her voice grounding and soothing as she let herself be pulled back to earth.  As she was wrapped into Morgan’s arms, she closed her eyes, her breathing finally… finally feeling steady enough to speak.

“I don’t know...how to look at it”, she admitted, anxiety bubbling up in her chest again.  “I-... I’m so used to… I know about the supernatural, you know? I know how to d-deal with them, and handle the dangerous, and help them, and I thought that if something like this ever happened, I wouldn’t be so… sh, so shaken by it.”  She let out a quick breath, bringing her hand up to wipe away at the tears that were falling down her cheeks.  She swallowed a hard lump in her throat, slowly sitting up and pulling away from Morgan, a bit embarrassed at the whole ordeal.  “I didn’t mean to yell at you”, she told her friend, catching her eyes.

Morgan bundled Leah into her arms as tight as she dared. She would have fallen to the forest floor with relief if she could have. Leah’s cries sounded as though they broke her body on the way out, as if her pain had become an invisible creature, clawing its way out. Morgan did her best to soothe the monster away with soft hushes and circles rubbed into Leah’s back, but that was only a bandaid at best. “Hey, don’t worry about me,” she said, brushing the issue aside. “We don’t have to talk about that today. I know you didn’t mean it now.” She kept on, soothing Leah while she held her and hoping with all she had that her dead arms were enough.

“You’re still a person, Leah,” Morgan said into her shoulder. “You can’t theory your way out of being a person, or suffering. You can’t skip around your pain. And feeling pain, carrying suffering, doesn’t make you any less strong or kind or wise, Leah. You are still every bit as valuable, as yourself, as you ever have been. And it’s so hard to feel that sometimes, I know. But nothing is going to be taken away from you if you look at it. If anything, Leah, you will understand more and have an even greater capacity to help people who’ve been hurt after you face this and learn to carry it better.”

Morgan’s skin was an interesting contrast to Leah’s, her friend’s cool and icy while her own burned red hot with embarrassment and sorrow.  It was soothing.  She let herself sink into it as she closed her eyes and listened to the logic that was flowing around her.  She had been so in her head about everything that had happened with the wolf, and all that had happened after too.  The snowmen with Nicole, the ballybog and vodnik with Kaden, and now the pixies with Morgan- they seemed to all be adding to an ever piling list of emotions that Leah was determined to deal with in some sort of metaphorical ‘later’ that she would never let come.  But now, Morgan offered an out- a way to start digging through the pile and know she could still be herself once she reached the other side of it.  And what better way to start than to just… look at it?  To see it, to relive it, so that when the flashbacks inevitably came again, they wouldn’t be so jarring or scary.  The idea scared her beyond belief, but it made so much sense that Leah couldn’t deny it was a good one.

After a long beat of thinking and sighing and breathing again, Leah let her eyes lock with Morgan’s, wondering if they looked as vulnerable as she felt.  “You’re right”, she said finally, her voice just starting to sound like her own again.  “I… I’ve been working so hard on pushing it all back- burying myself in work and scribe things so that I could move on and forget about what happened… but how can I expect to forget about it when I’ve not even let myself really remember it?”  As she spoke, she picked at the grass awkwardly, needing something to do with her hands.   She was fully embarrassed at the scene she’d caused, even if it was just between the two of them.  Because of that, her attention was brought back to the mess the pixies had left- the wrappers and doll furniture were strewn about the grass around them, left without a care in the world.  “Perhaps we should start cleaning up…”

Morgan took Leah’s face gently in her hands and held her steady while they looked into each other’s eyes, gently and clearly. “So remember. On your terms. And it doesn’t have to be alone.” She stroked her friend’s hair as she looked at the mess around them on the forest floor. “That won’t take so long. I still have the store bags, we can put the wrappers in one until we find a recycling bin and put your niece’s furniture in another. Maybe order her some upgrades to make up for the damaged stuff.” She smiled, relieved and confident. “What I want you to do is think about where you want to go next. Anywhere in town, as long as it’s just for you. No tumbling back into work, okay?” Giving Leah one more knowing look, a gesture to show that they were really okay, Morgan reached into her bag and started scooping up the mess.

Leah let herself sink deeper into Morgan’s touch, losing herself in the sheer gentleness that was presented to her.  She let out a slow breath and nodded.  “On my terms”.  As they cleaned up, she thought about what Morgan said.  Normally, she’d probably head to the library basement after an encounter like this, and write down everything she could remember.  But she wanted to be better- to stop feeling like the world might fall apart at the drop of a hat, and so for once, she opted to take a break and take Morgan’s advice instead.  “Morgan?”, she asked as they picked up the last of the garbage, moving on to the tiny furniture.  “Would you like to go to the movies when we’re done here?”  She leaned down to pick up the small table, one of its legs barely hanging on.  “The Nordica is showing old classics tonight… it might be fun.”

Morgan beamed down at Leah as she stuffed the last of the wrappers and tied off the bag. “Oh, yeah? Hmm, I don’t know…” She scrunched up her face, pretending to give it some very serious thought. “You, me, and the rom com double feature with Irene Dunne and Katherine Hepburn?” Then she burst into laughter and pulled her friend up with a helping hand. “I would be delighted, Leah.”

[erekiosuncreativeideas]

Being Human - Chapter 13

<= Chapter 12

Summary : Snatcher makes up with the kids Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826561/chapters/65582983

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Another chapter, yohoo ! I hope you'll like it ! Thank you for all your lovely comments, you're all so nice !!

The “Oh The Humanity” AU belongs to @doodledrawsthings​ !

Happy reading !

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Chapter 13 - “What’s ‘Corgi Quest’?”

With Cooking Cat to help him to stay stable in the hallway, going back to the spaceship hub was easier. Snatcher didn’t like being reminded of how weak he looked at the moment, but he had managed to push his pride aside, if only for a brief moment. The cat was nice and considerate enough to make no comments about it, which was more than welcome for the former spirit.

It didn’t take them long to leave the first hallway and to cross the machine room. When they reached the second and last hallway before reaching the hub, voices could be heard from the other side of the door, informing them that the little girls were there. Suddenly, Snatcher felt his heart sunk in his chest. God, why was he reacting this way! There was literally nothing to be afraid of! It wasn’t the first time he had angered the brats and it certainly wouldn’t be the la-

Wait. Why was he even worried about that anyway? He was the powerful ghost of Subcon Forest! He had killed so many people and now he was worried about little children being mad at him? Oh please, what a joke. He rolled his eyes at himself, Gods, he was so stupid.

A little pat on his hand cut his thoughts short, catching his attention. Just like before, Cooking Cat was patting him, trying to reassure him, to comfort him. Ugh.

-“It’ll be okay,” she assured with a smile: “I’m sure they forgave you already.”

The former spirit glanced away, both irritated and embarrassed, because heck, he hated being this easy to read. How was she even able to do that? Well, it didn’t matter. What mattered was that it was annoying and that it made Snatcher think about things he’d rather ignore. He let out a long and exhausted sigh, turning to the cat with a scowl on his face:

-“Oh please, I don’t care what they think. They might as well be sulking, it changes absolutely nothing for me,” he groaned, more than exasperated: “All I care about is to be dead again. That’s all.”

The other only nodded her head as an answer. She probably knew it was best not to argue with him on that topic, considering how sensitive it was for the moment. Whatever wanted to say at his words, she kept it for herself, staying silent and motionless instead. She was waiting for him to approach the door for it to open, not rushing him.

Gods. He was so ridiculous.

The former ghost took a deep breath and, ignoring how much his legs felt like cotton, took a few steps towards the door. As soon as it opened, the mechanical sound echoing all around, it was like a weight settled on his stomach, twisting his guts as soon as his eyes spotted the two little girls. They had changed and were now wearing coloured pyjamas, still wearing their signature headgear, weirdly enough. They were sitting in front of the television, watching, no, doing something with it? He wasn’t sure what, he was not very informed regarding new technologies, considering he lived in the same forest for centuries. They were holding weird things in their hands, black devices with coloured buttons on it. Whatever they were doing, they were also bumping each other with their shoulders, loud high-pitched giggles resonating in the room. However, when they heard the door, they both turned around in his direction.

-“Oh, you’re back,” started the hatted brat, her voice almost passive aggressive. Yep, she was mad, just like he had thought. She seemed to make an effort as her younger friend “discretly” nudged her in the back, instructing her to be nice: “You feeling better?” she asked with a more neutral tone.

Did he feel better? He supposed he did, though it was hard to say. His mind was like a cacophony of thoughts, all very, very different from one another. Some part of him did feel better, it was true, while his pride was screaming at how sappy and mushy the whole situation was. It was most likely this part of himself that snapped earlier, or had at least contributed to his meltdown. It really was strange and uncomfortable to say the least.

-“Yeah,” he replied, still with a grumpy expression on his face: “guess so.”

He had been tempted to go with his usual approach, putting a show with the loud persona he had fabricated through the centuries. After all, it had almost completely fused with his, well, original personality, having been kept in a cold cellar for days changing him greatly, just like the after-life did. He was not the nice and compassionate Prince anymore. He was The Snatcher, a powerful soul-stealing ghost that had no remorse over killing people for his own survival and, by now, even for fun. And yet… And yet, sometimes, putting on the mask that had become such a second nature to him became… Difficult. Unnatural.

Right now was one of those times.

For a brief instant, he thought he saw a remorseful look on the hat-wearing child’s expression, though it quickly died down as he glanced away. She looked like she wanted to forgive him, but it was a bit too early for her to completely do so. At least, that’s what Snatcher thought it meant, it wasn’t like he was some kind of social behaviour specialist. If anything, law was his forte, but this? He was just guessing at this point.

His thoughts were cut short as the bow-wearing kid joined the conversation, lifting a plate of grilled cheese sandwich that had been on the ground until now. She was smiling at him, yet it was easy to see she was somewhat trying to hide her unease behind a warm expression:

-“We saved some for you,” she informed him with a gentle voice before cringing a bit as she glanced down at the food: “… Well, it’s cold now, but we can always reheat it later when you want!”

Snatcher frowned, feeling something akin to guilt rise in his chest. It felt wrong, so, so wrong, and he couldn’t help but grit his teeth. He normally didn’t care about being the bad guy, about being unfair or mean, or, well, murderous. Yet, there was something in this very specific situation that gave him an awful feeling of shame, one he really wished he could ignore.

What was happening to him?

-“Yeah, fine,” he simply replied, embarrassment unfortunately clearly audible in his voice as he walked closer, not comfortable enough to say the magic word just yet. It just got stuck in his throat. Thankfully, the kids didn’t mention it. Just as he was about to ask what they were doing with the television and what they were holding in their hands, Cooking Cat’s voiced echoed just behind them:

-“Well,” she started, straightening her chef’s hat with her usual smile: “it’s getting late, I think it’s time for me to go home. I had a lot of fun today, thank you for inviting me!” she said to the kids before turning to him: “I hope you’ll teach me how to tell scary stories soon! But, on a more serious note, I really hope your wish to be a ghost again will come true. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to experience being alive after so much time as a spirit.”

Snatcher glanced away:

-“It’s… Not so great, yeah,” he confirmed with a frown.

Her smile disappeared for a bit, quickly replaced by a serious and compassionate expression:

-“Don’t push yourself too hard,” she advised with a caring tone: “Do what you can and if that doesn’t work out, it’s okay. You’ve been human for a day or two, barely, and I can only guess how much it is to take in. Try being nicer to yourself, it’s fine to fail sometimes.”

The former ghost scoffed at how corny this all was. Oh sure, what a great idea to rest and relax while his crazy ex could wreck havoc in his forest, freezing everything and everyone again! Of course, he’d have the right to, since he could “be nicer to himself” and that it was “fine to fail sometimes”! And if he came back to see the whole forest being covered in ice again, well, “whoopsie daisy!”, right?!

What a joke.

Cooking Cat could obviously tell that Snatcher wasn’t taking her words well, but knew better than to insist. She looked away, a bit embarrassed, though she tried to smile again. She turned to the children, who had watched the scene, silently:

-“Can you teleport me down there?” she gestured to the floor, or what was under it. The planet.

-“Yeah, of course,” replied the hatted girl, moving to the control panel, before waving at her: “See you soon, Cookie!”

The younger kid soon imitated her:

-“See you, take care!”

The cat looked happier from the kids’ kind words and waved back at them. Her eyes then glanced to the former spirit, smiling back at him:

-“Goodbye, Snatcher. I hope I’ll see you soon as well, in your true form this time,”

Snatcher only nodded in response, feeling all the stares being fixed on him once more. He liked attention, sure… But not like this. This one was oppressive, stressful and… In this meat sack of a body, he didn’t feel completely safe. However, Cooking Cat seemed satisfied with his answer, and nodded to the hat-wearing little girl, telling her she was ready for teleportation. Honestly, the man couldn’t help but be impressed at her calm face: his own experience through scientific teleportation was… Not a good one. He had always been fine teleporting magically, but this? This could be labelled as a vomit-inducing machine and he wouldn’t even be surprised.

The cat disappeared in a blink, a blue light quickly engulfing her for a second before it was gone, leaving no trace from her, as if she had never come onto the ship.

Silence fell in the room as the trio was left alone once more. The atmosphere was tense, almost palpable, no one knowing what to say after everything that had happened in only one single day. After all, it was a lot, it made sense that tensions started to appear after a while. Well, perhaps they mostly appeared because of him, but it didn’t matter.

Eventually, after a while, the bow-wearing kid gestured to the television with an awkward smile:

-“Wanna keep on playing Corgi Quest?” she offered, winking at the hatted brat, once more very “discreetly”. But it seemed to work as the other sighed yet shrugged nonetheless, visibly exhausted from the events of the day:

-“Yeah, fine, sounds good to me.”

Snatcher watched them walk to the television and sit on the nearby coloured pillows. Confusion was plastered on his face as he wondered what they could be talking about. ‘Corgi Quest’? What was that? Was it what they were doing before he and Cooking Cat entered the room? Was this a “TV thing” he wasn’t aware about? That could very well be the case, seeing as he only knew what a television was from what he learnt with his ex-contractors.

So, not a lot, considering they didn’t live long enough to explain what it was in further details. Not like he had thought he would need it someday, though…

-“What’s ‘Corgi Quest’?” he questioned, voicing his confusion, glancing at the kids then the television repeatedly, trying to understand.

-“Our favourite video game,” answered the hatted child, picking up one of the device from earlier -what was it?-, pushing some of the buttons and… Controlling what was happening on the screen? What? His brow furrowed even more: how did that work?

-“It sounds pretty simple, but Corgi Quest actually has a deep storyline!” added the younger child, her eyes full of stars: “It’s also very cute, and there’s even a multiplayer mode! Much better than in the last game, Corgi Quest 6. Oh yeah, we’re playing the 7th one, but you don’t need to have played the oth-”

-“Woah, woah, kiddo, stop,” interrupted Snatcher by lifting his hands in the air, already feeling a headache coming up just from hearing about all this stuff he couldn’t understand. What were they even talking about? He took a deep breath and pinched his nose, stopping soon afterwards. Wait, he never did that before, was it because he had a nose now?

-“First, I don’t care about all of that,” he established, though it was a lie: he was curious, at least on the way this was working: “Second, what the heck is a video game?”

This was a simple question, really, one he thought was basic and pretty common… And yet, as soon as the words left his mouth, the two children gasped as if he had insulted their parents in the worst possible ways. Wait, did he ever do that? He didn’t remember. Still, they were staring at him with wide eyes, clearly not believing a single word he had just said. Was it that obvious? If it was, why didn’t he hear about that from his victi- oh wait, right, he usually killed them before they got the chance to talk. Not that he wanted to, life outside of his forest didn’t interest him usually. And it wasn’t like talking with his “brain-dead servants” were entertaining, hearing them scream in pain was though.

His thoughts were cut short as the little girls exclaimed at the same time:

-“You don’t know what a video game is?!”

Snatcher shook his head, warier and warier as seconds passed. This was getting extremely suspicious and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know anymore, given the reactions he got just from not knowing whatever that thing was. In any case, apparently, said thing was pretty famous or at least common now.

The two kids shared a knowing and decided look, as if they telepathically agreed on something.

All of a sudden, Snatcher felt like he should have kept his mouth shut. But he didn’t have the time to think more, as the bow-wearing little girl moved behind him and pushed him more towards the television, while the older kid placed more pillows on the floor for him to sit on.

-“Wait, wait, what-” The former ghost tried to protest, but was interrupted as the brats forced him to sit down, his opinion clearly ignored from now on. Soon, one of the strange-looking device was placed in his hands, and he turned his head to the kids, even more perplexed than before.

-“Okay, so you definitely failed in life just not knowing what a video game was,” informed the hat-wearing child, an exaggerated look of disappointment in her eyes: “Allow us to educate you on that topic.”

-“Trust us,” added the younger one, placing her hand on her chest as if what she was saying was extremely important -when it wasn’t-: “We’re specialists.”

Snatcher’s confusion was now reaching new heights. He had no idea what they were talking about, and he was so bewildered by what was happening that, despite his wish to protest, his voice got stuck in his throat. His brain was trying so very hard to understand what was happening, but soon, the brats sat next to him… And started to explain things and concepts he had no idea existed before.

How did this even happen…? Whatever the answer was… Snatcher knew he was stuck with them until he learnt what those ‘video game’ things were.

This was it. Snatcher was cursed, and he had the feeling this was not going to end soon.

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Well, everything goes well ! Isn't that wonderful ? Truly, it would be such a SHAME if SOMEONE were to ruin that................. Not that it's going to happen or anything !! ... Unless...?

:)c

Anyway, thank you all for your comments, they mean so much to me !

=> Chapter 14

[silvana-fangirls]

Good Mourning [KogKag]

Fandom:

InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale

Relationships:

Higurashi Kagome/Kouga

SUMMARY: After they destroyed Naraku and Kagome wished for the Shikon no Tama to disappear, it not only took the sorrow, pain and loss with it. But something Kagome thought was genuinely hers.

I HIGHLY SUGGEST FOR YOU TO READ IT IN AO3 AND/OR FF.NET (find it under the same name, or in my posts under #silvana writes : good mourning

IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO A TAG LIST, HIT MY ASK BOX!

CHAPTER 3

Just one more hit and then we're through 'Cause you could never love me back Cut every tie I have to you 'Cause your love's a fucking drag

But I need it so bad

- 'Nicotine' Panic! At the Disco

Kouga gripped the edges of the make-shift rock table so hard it was threatening to break as soon as he entered the private den where he usually held his war-related meetings with his higher-ranked pack members.

He let out a raged, shaky breath, while his clawed fingers grinded over the rocky surface causing an unpleasant sound; all in order to keep himself from turning to dust the entire fucking mountain.

His whole body was tensed up, all muscles flexed so hard that if anyone touched him right now would've said he was made of solid iron. His lips twitched, fangs pocking out dangerously, threatening to let out a spine-chilling growl. His eyebrows, deep in a frown, as he closed his eyes tightly, hiding their now blood-red color. His nostrils flared, intoxicated in a scent he was not supposed to smell ever fucking again.

His eyes, haloed crimson, only snapped open when he heard his two idiotic 'second in command' entering the den, to then stand behind him as they fought nervous fidgets.

It took everything inside him not to rip them apart right there and then.

"I wonder if I haven't made myself clear enough before" He said, some words coming out in animalistic snarls, as he refused to turn to them still. If he turned before calming his youkai down, he'll rip them apart before at least hearing what could've possessed them to do what they did; and calming down was proving to be a difficult task right now, with her scent, her aura, her everything taking over him like some goddamn poison.

"K-Kouga w-we can expla-" Ginta started to say, as his voice trembled in fear.

Koga didn't even give him a chance to finish the sentence.

"Yeah, you fucking better!" He shouted, youkai voice interlacing with his, as the rock table snapped in two.

The two of them nearly jumped out of their skin when Kouga turned to face them.

"I wanna know what in hell possessed you two, to decide it was great idea to go against a direct order of mine" He snarled, but felt himself calm down just enough so his youkai was tamed down. "Every fucking wolf in here was ordered to never, under any circumstances, let her step a foot on the mountain. So, help me understand how you two that knew exactly what went down, out of every single demon, brought her here?!"

"W-We didn't want to, I swear!" Hakkaku stuttered out. "We told her that we were ordered not to let her in the mountain, but she refused to listen!"

"Y-Yeah, she basically black-mailed us!" Ginta agreed quickly.

"What?" Kouga spat out, not really as a question but more in disbelief at how much stupidity was coming out of his betas' mouths.

"W-We explained her the situation, a-and told her to go home, told her it was for the best-" Hakkaku started.

"A-And told her how dangerous it was for her to be in the woods at the moment!" Ginta added.

"And we told her we weren't allowed to take her to the mountains so w-we were just gonna escort her out of the woods" Hakkaku continued.

"A-And then she was like 'Pity, I'm not going anywhere'" Ginta said, trying to imitate Kagome's voice in a high pitch tone.

"Y-Yeah! And then she was like 'And if you're not going to help me, I'll get to the mountains on my own. I'm not going home until I talk to Kouga'" Hakkaku said then, now also imitating Kagome's voice.

"And you know how stupid that was gonna be! The woods packed with northerns and westerns, and the eating humans' treaty! Kami, she was already wounded as well"

Kouga's youkai flared at this, and he wanted to punch it for it.

Of course he knew she was wounded. It was one of the reasons he turned back to the mountains, fast as lighting, a few minutes after he felt her presence near his home while he was miles away from it.

Kouga was not only a wolf demon, but an alpha at that. His senses excelled almost every demon's alive, and also excelled all of his pack member's senses by far. He could hear, smell and sense everything that was miles away from him. On top of that, Kagome was his-

He started to sense her just as soon as she was a few miles away from her village.

He was far away at that moment, nearing the Southern Lands when he first felt her.

He found it odd, but his mind soon figured that maybe she was traveling somewhere. His lands, while considerably far away, surrounded her village somewhat. So, she would've had to cross them if she wanted to travel pretty much anywhere.

The fact that it was the first time ever she moved from that village was nagging him, but he ignored it.

He needed to triple check that the Southern tribe was still set on not partaking on the war. They were having enough on their plates as it was. While the Eastern tribe still outnumbered the Northern and Western tribes combined (just one of the several reasons there was a war in the first place) and his men were undoubtedly stronger and smarter than their opponents, he wasn't sure if they would be able to handle another tribe joining the opposite side, no matter how superior they were in numbers or battling skills.

He knew that the leaders of the North tribe were going to try to lure the South to join them. So, he had to make sure that the Southern alpha was still set on his first decision; and if he was not, Kouga would enjoyed to help him stay put.

That's why he didn't stop nor turned around when he felt her. After all, only one of his many forests was the one with that 'treaty' he made.

'Every nearby village knows what's going on' he remembered thinking. 'I'm certain hers' knows too, and if they don't, villagers on her way will warn her' was another thought that crossed his mind at that time 'She's not stupid'.

Though, something that was nagging his mind just a bit was the fact that she was almost alone. He could feel the neko-demon with her, but no one else. No mutt.

He briefly wondered if it was because InuYasha was a hanyou, that's why he was having trouble sensing him, and her other travel companions were human. Sure, she was human as well, but she was… she was Kagome, of course he'd feel her.

What he needed to do regarding the Southern tribe was extremely important, and could not wait. He was in charge of a numerous pack facing a war right now. He was an alpha, he couldn't turn back on his tribe, much less for her, out of all beings in the universe.

Not to mention, he truly didn't want to see her to begin with.

So, he continued to run his 'errands' while unconsciously keeping tabs of her movements.

He was done dealing with the Southern alpha when his heart nearly skipped a beat.

She was nearing the edge of the forest.

Why on hell she was nearing the edge of the forest.

Without so much a word, and as soon as he ruthlessly forced the South to stay out of his way, he bolted towards his lands.

Moments later, when she was already undoubtedly flying across the forest, she was wounded, badly.

With now crimson eyes, and growling through sharp-mortal fangs, he picked up his pace.

He mentally thanked whatever god or devil was around when Ginta and Hakkaku found her and saved her.

He allowed himself to calm down once he stopped smelling blood pouring out of her.

Still, he was angry at himself. Sure, he could feel bad if anything ever happened to her, but the way he reacted? Desperation, madness, rage consuming him in his entirety, his youkai almost taking completely over after centuries of being in complete control over it.

This tiny woman always sent him over the edge.

He reflected that no matter how much distance was between them, how many years they spent without even catching a glimpse of the other, he would always react this way when it came to her. After all, it was natural, quite literally. She was his, regardless of whatever she tried to convince herself. He was hers, she would never be able to be indifferent when it came to him, no matter how hard she tried.

She would always be his, she would always feel like a part of him.

So, he would always lose the reigns when it came to her, no matter how badly he didn't wanna see her ever again.

Still, he could not fit in his own and utter shock when he realized that not only she was indeed going for his den, but that fucking Ginta and Hakkaku were escorting her.

Just when he thought they'd matured at last.

"W-What would you have us do in his situation?" Ginta asked, bringing Kouga back to the present issue.

"I would've you take her back to where she came from, dragging her by the feet if fucking needed!" Kouga growled out, making them both jump back. "You should've escorted her back to her damned village by force if she refused, I don't give a fuck; place her on the mutt's arms with a bow on top, and tell him to put a freaking leash on her if necessary to keep this from happening ever again!"

"Kouga you know her better than we do! She would've tried again! You know how she is, sis would never-" If looks could kill, Hakkaku would've dropped dead on the spot. "KAGOME! I mean Kagome" He corrected himself instantly.

One of the other explicit, direct orders from Kouga was to never, ever call her sister again.

"You do know that there's a hundred demons outside waiting for me to execute you?" Kouga said through a clenched jaw.

Hell, while he didn't want to kill them, because they were Ginta and Hakkaku after all, he did want to hurt them, really, really bad.

Hakkaku gulped down in fear and Ginta sighed.

"We know" Ginta said looking down at the floor. "And we understand and accept if you do" Kouga raised an eyebrow at this.

"We do?" Hakkaku squeaked out, looking at his best friend in disbelief.

"Yes" Ginta said, without a single hesitation. "At least I do" Kouga blinked in surprise at this. "I don't regret what I did" Kouga clenched his jaw "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if she died when I could've protected her" Ginta continued, and it took everything inside Kouga not to react to the statement "I mean… She's Kagome" He added, and Kouga knew he meant 'she's sister'. "So, yeah… I'm good with whatever punishment you see fit, Alpha Kouga"

Kouga didn't know how he managed not to flinch at that. Everyone in the pack called him that, except these two. So, it only meant one thing. Whatever Ginta was saying was 100% serious.

"Y-Yeah, me too!" Hakkaku said after a moment.

Kouga sighed and tried not to give any other sort of reaction.

He couldn't blame them for the way they were acting. Wolf demons were extremely familiar beings, they depended on each member of the pack, just like each member of the pack depended on them. Kagome was his intended mate, their Alpha's intended mate. It's no surprise that they would've tried to protect her. But, it wasn't only that. Ginta and Hakkaku were Kagome's friends, too, unlike the rest of the pack.

Not a single pack member would dare go against an Alpha's direct order. Not only because there're definitely less painful ways to die, but because it was also a sign of disrespect towards the pack, too.

But, Ginta and Hakkaku would, because Kagome (at least once upon a time) was their friend.

It'll almost felt unfair to blame them. But, they had to be punished, anyone else would've dealt with his ruthless fury, he couldn't just skip past them completely.

So the question was, what to do now?

"You need to get rid of her" Kouga finally said, earning a dumbfounded look from both of them. "And you'll loose your privileges until I feel you can be trusted again" He added, frowning at them while showing fangs to let them know he was being serious. "Go, now" He said. "I don't want to see her when I get out of here"

"Kouga there's something else, though…" Ginta said, and as if he was reading his mind, Hakkaku turned to him with a concerned glance as well.

Kouga said nothing, tired of discussing and negotiating with this two. They should've just shut their mouths and run towards the village with Kagome in hand while thanking Kami he had mercy on them by now. So, he just waiting for him to continue.

"There's not a single trace of InuYasha on her"

X

It was funny.

It was funny how she was almost atop of a mountain right now, yet she felt the Earth swallowing to the very center.

Kirara, still on her smaller form, was growling consistently while each hair on her pelt was up��� but, that didn't stop anyone from looking at her.

As soon as Ginta and Hakkaku disappeared from her sight, tailing a raging Kouga, each and every single pair of eyes (at least the alive ones) turned to her, accusingly.

At first, she pointedly ignored every of them.

Her eyes went down to the ground, as she tried to focus on petting Kirara as best as she could.

It worked well at first, but now? It was impossible to ignore the comments that were being whispered all around her.

"How dare she come back after rejecting him like that?!"

"And for a disgusting hanyou, no less!"

"Great timing, too! In the middle of the war no less, as if Kouga wasn't stressed enough as it is!"

"He better not take her back, after she disrespected him like that!"

"I agree, showing up here when she pleases, the nerve!"

"Kouga deserves so much better"

"Most of the females are prettier than her, too…"

"Maybe that mutt kicked her out, that's why she's here with her tail between her legs!"

"Don't be stupid, it's because of the bond! It was only a matter of time…"

"Still, he shouldn't take her back"

"Why would he? He has enough female attention here…"

Kagome felt like she sunk down half her size, and tears were pricking the corners of her eyes.

They were right, for the most part. Except for the part where they implied that she rejected him knowing the truth, which she didn't. She knows she should've given him the benefit of the doubt, but how could she know?

'He has enough female attention here'

That broke Kagome's heart in a trillion pieces. Sure, she knew better than to expect Kouga to be mate-less and just loyal to a woman who has rejected him, told him she never wanted to see him again, and disappeared for three years. Still, that didn't mean it didn't hurt like a truck from back home was running over her heart over and over.

She tried to calm herself down, and remember Sango's advice.

She wasn't here to be with him, at least that wasn't the most important thing.

She was here to apologize. To accept her mistake, beg for forgiveness, and hope Kouga could at least take her back as a friend.

Still, it appeared that some part of her held to the hope of him still being in love with her.

That part of her was having the butt-kick of it's life.

What made her more angry, though, was the fact that these demons were probably reading her like an open book. Smelling each and every emotion their comments were causing on her.

"And to think poor Ginta and Hakkaku have to pay the price of this"

"I know… Kouga's probably gonna hold their execution this evening"

That made her head snap up.

Execution?!

She knew they were in trouble, big trouble, but definitely not that kind of trouble!

Ginta and Hakkaku were Kouga's best friends, for crying out loud! Surely he wouldn't!

In the midst of panic, Kagome was still able to focus for a moment and search for Kouga's aura. It took her almost a millisecond, it was impossible for her not to feel him, anyways. Not with him being close to her.

Without sparing so much a glance to the wolf demons looking at her, she started to walk towards where she felt him, as wolf demons got out of her way, too shocked to even stop her.

She followed the feeling towards a tunnel and after a while, still gripping Kirara on her arms, she came face to face with an entrance to a smaller den.

Guarded by two wolf demons.

"Eh! What are you doing here?!" One of them instantly exclaimed at the sight of her.

"This tunnel is off-limits! Only the ones that were explicitly called by Alpha Kouga can be here!" The other one added.

"Let me in, I need to speak to him" Kagome said, unintimidated by the two bulky wolf demons.

"Haven't you heard us, lil human? You're not supposed to be here!" The first one exclaimed pointedly stepping in front of the entrance, blocking her way.

"I won't ask again. I need to speak to him, now!" Kagome said unwavering.

"Now listen here you little bit-"

It happened way faster than any of them could've expected. A shot of lilac beaming reiki shot from her hand and towards them. It was in no way something that could've harmed them gravely, just superficial. Something to simply leave them unconscious for a little while.

She expected them to understand the urgency in her tone of voice, but it became clearer and clearer with each passing second that whatever was going on between wolf demons, something that they would never do was disobey their Alpha, under any circumstances.

After looking down at the unconscious demons on the ground, checking for anything out of what she expected, she turned to the entrance and without a second thought, running the fur that was serving as a door/curtain.

The den was even further away from what she anticipated, not just at the other side of the 'curtain'. She had to walk a shorter tunnel once again, before finally entering a small, fire-lit den.

The three people in there instantly turned to her.

Her heart leaped to her throat once her chocolate brown eyes connected with icy blue ones.

"Kouga" She whispered under her breath again, much like a few moments ago, when she first saw him.

And, just like when he first saw her, he turned to Ginta and Hakkaku with a deep frown.

"Take her back to her village, now" He growled at both of them, making Kagome shiver at both: the sound of his voice for the first time in years and the danger in his growl.

Ginta opened his mouth, as if to object, but he didn't have the chance to let out a sound.

"Ginta, Kami help me, if a single sound comes out of your goddamn mouth, I'll rip you apart right here, right now." Kouga growled again, making Ginta snap his mouth shut instantly.

"No!" Kagome exclaimed as soon as Kouga's threat was out. "You can't murder them!" Kouga turned to her again, looking rather confused this time. "I heard about the execution! You can't kill them!"

"What?!" He exclaimed nearly bewildered. It was the first word he directly spoke to her. 'What'.

"It was me! I blackmailed them. I know they disobeyed your orders, but I put them both in an impossible position. It's not their fault! You can't kill them because of me!" Kagome was nearly babbling now, tears running from the corners of her eyes. "They were just trying to help me! I knew they wouldn't let me go on my own because they're both so kind hearted! And I took advantage of it! It was me! Please don't kill them, they're your best friends, you cannot kill them!"

"No one's getting killed!" Kouga finally exclaimed in exasperation.

Kagome stopped abruptly.

"What? There won't be an execution?" Kagome asked.

"No si-Kagome" Hakkaku said "Kouga decided for another punishment. We appreciate your concern, tho-"

"Alright, that's enough. Take her to her village now before I change my mind" Kouga said, and started to walk towards one of the edges of the den, where another rock- makeshift table was and Kagome watched as Ginta and Hakkaku walked towards her with sympathetic look on their faces.

She instantly took a step back from them.

"Wait-No!" She said, bringing Kirara even closer to her as she stepped back. "I told them I'm not going anywhere until we talk!" She said, turning to Kouga that was now a few meters away from her.

She literally saw how all his muscles stiffened in tension and how his aura grew in anger.

Kagome gulped down, as she also bit her lips. She knew she was pressing her luck and probably shouldn't be speaking at him like this, all things considered. But, what else what she supposed to do to make him listen?

It was crystal clear that he did not want her here.

"Oh, you told them?" Kouga scoffed back instantly in a sarcastic manner, making Kagome regret instantly the way she spoke the words. "So, of course, you expect them to do as you say, over their orders, my orders"

"I didn't mean it like that-" Kagome said with a small voice, glancing at the ground once again, but Kouga quickly interrupted her.

"Seriously, though, Kagome" Kouga then asked, and Kagome turned her eyes on him once again. He was looking straight at her this time, eyes piercing hers, unwavering. "What the fuck are you even doing here?"

The sound of her name coming out of his lips after so long sent hot jolts all over her body, yet question and the harshness of it crushed Kagome's heart, but she didn't blame him for asking that nor for being angry. Who wouldn't?

"I'm here to talk" She said once again.

"Talk about what, exactly?" He scoffed and took a few steps towards her but still maintained a considerable distance between them. "There's absolutely nothing to talk about, Kagome. It's been three fucking years, for Kami's sake!" He nearly roared, making Kagome flinch. "What on hell makes you think that I'll sit down and chat with you after all this fucking time?!" Kagome opened her mouth to talk, but he stepped even closer to her, and interrupted her before she could say anything. "And in the middle of the fucking war, no less! Like I actually have the time for more shit!"

"I didn't know you were at war!" Kagome finally roared back. "I only knew when Ginta and Hakkaku told me after they found me!"

"And yet you still decided to put up your little stunt and force them to bring you here instead of turning around and going back home!" Kouga raged on. "Ya know, you should be grateful it was them the ones to find you and bring you here. Because if it were any of my other pack members they would be fucking dead already!"

"I'm sorry, alright?! I know I shouldn't be inconveniencing you right now, but I couldn't wait any longer!" She defended herself.

"And just how much did you wait, Kagome? A year? A month? Or was it just a few days ago that the mutt finally got tired of you so you decided to settle for the next best as soon as you could?!" Kouga growled out.

"It's not like that, Kouga, and you know it!" Kagome said, now actually feeling offended. Yes, she knew that once upon a time (without knowing any better) she chose InuYasha over Kouga but it was because she didn't know the truth back then and she knew Kouga knows that! Besides, implying that she simply just moved on to the next plate once she had her fill of the first one, was an insult.

"I don't care, Kagome! I, sincerely, don't give a fuck!" Kouga said with such an angered force that made everyone in the room flinch and step back. "This is not your place." He said then. "You shouldn't be here. You should be at home with your mate or your family or whoever the fuck is there, and you should go back there right now" he said with finality. "Take her home" He turned to the two frightened wolf demons that were looking at both of them in terrified shock and turned his back to her again as he moved towards the edge of the den once more.

The two of them, with cautious movements, started walking towards Kagome.

"No" She said, and snatched back the arm that Ginta tried to grab. "I refuse to go anywhere until we talk!" She loudly declared again, frowning and watching as Kouga turned to her once again.

"Then they'll drag you there, I don't care" He said and pretended to shrug her off.

"Then I'll come back" Kagome said challengingly, frown deep on her face as she advanced towards him. "And again, and again, and again! No matter how many times you have them push me away, I will return! And if I have to purify every single one of your wolves to get you to talk to me, I will!"

Kouga eyed her, head to toe, without giving away any emotion for her to read, before he turned to his packmates again.

"Are you to deaf or something?" He simply said, and Kagome watched from the corner of her eye how both of them trembled but advanced nervously towards her again.

"Ginta, Hakkaku, I swear to god, if you lay a single claw on me I'll knock you both unconscious" She said threateningly and shot a spark of her reiki for good measure, making both of them instantly retract from her.

"B-Boss?" Hakkaku stuttered, as both of them looked towards their Alpha, unsure of what to do.

Kouga didn't even glance at them, his icy blue eyes still on Kagome, surveying her, observing her, with that very same aura he had when she first saw him. His body tensed up, eyes sharp… just as if he was about to be attacked, as if he was about fight.

Kagome knew that he wouldn't dare touch her right now, not like she would ever hurt him, but still. He also wouldn't let his packmates suffer a potential purification just to get her out of her mountains.

She also knew, that this was because Kouga didn't know the extend of her powers now. Back when he knew the extend of them, she could only summon them when using a bow and arrow.

This was unknown territory, and wolves weren't anything but cautious and protective of their pack members. He wouldn't risk it… but she also didn't want to corner him like this.

He was mad, and rightfully so. He wanted her out of his home, also rightfully so, since she came here uninvited. Plus, not only she was cornering him right now, but also challenging his power, his position as Alpha… in his home, in front of his packmates.

Still, she needed to talk to him and she refused to spend another day away from him without explaining herself.

They needed to meet at a middle point, though.

"I'm sorry, Kouga" She said at first, but he didn't even flinch. Attack mode still on. "I know you don't want to talk to me or listen to me or even have me near you right now" She said. "And you're absolutely right to feel that way. It's not fair for me to force you to talk right now, I don't wanna force you if you don't want to" It was only then when Kouga blinked at her, probably believing she was gonna accept and turn back to where she came from. "But I can't go back. I can't stay away from you without me saying what I need to say. Without you listening to me" She continued, her voice wavering while her eyes got teary. "I will stay here" She stated, watching as Kouga clenched his jaw at this. "I will stay here, waiting as long as I have to. Weeks, months, years, whatever. I'll wait here until you're ready to hear me talk." Kouga frowned even deeper to her now, and she felt Ginta and Hakkaku's eyes looking at her disbelievingly. "I won't bother you, I promise. I'll help you, help with the war. I'll earn my keep, or whatever you need. But, I can't go back. I can't go back, I'm sorry"

She didn't know if Kouga understood what she was saying or not. She didn't know if he understood the real necessity she had to stay -to stay with him- at least until they talked.

However, she did know that he understood the fact that she was going to fight -and most likely win- if they tried to remove her from this mountains.

It felt like time was passing agonizingly slow as she waited for a reaction coming from him, but Kouga didn't even flinch for the longest time, until he turned to his betas once again.

"She's your problem" He said at first "You'll deal with her. You'll find her something to do, where she'll be staying, what she'll be eating" Kagome couldn't help but feel completely bothersome and unwanted. The scene looked like a father talking to his children about a stray puppy he didn't want. "I don't want to be bothered by this not even once." He said the last part looking pointedly at her, to then turn to his betas once again. "I trust I'm being crystal clear this time" He finally said, nearly growling at the end.

"Y-Yes, Kouga!" Ginta and Hakkaku stuttered out.

One last menacing look was all it took for them to start to dragging Kagome out of the den they were currently in. Here only choice being to accept being dragged by them while looking at Kouga until they finally left the den.

The look Kouga gave her as she exited the den was one she never in a million years expected to ever get from him, and one she prayed she never have to see again being directed at her.

She swallowed the need to cry and she directed her focus at both wolf demons walking her through the maze of dens.

She wondered how anyone could find their way in this mountains.

'Scent, for starters. Plus, they lived here their entire lives, probably.' her mind instantly supplied, as she started to get nervous as to how she was supposed to survive in here in the first place if she couldn't even find her way through the tunnels. Sure, she could find her way to Kouga, just as easily as she could breathe. His aura so present and intense, constantly luring her towards it now that they were so close. But, she figured that Kouga would rather have his eyes clawed out than having her near, at least at the moment. He needed time and she understood, so keeping out of his way for now was for the best.

Ginta and Hakkaku stopped suddenly, in front of another door/curtain fur pelt hanging in front of what seemed a small den.

"Here, this should suffice" Ginta said, moving the pelt out of the way for them to go in.

When the three of them were inside the pitch black den, Kagome felt Hakkaku move towards one of the edges, and she hear her grab what she thought were rocks, before hearing how he friction them to create fire, and then light a large wax candle that was sitting in a carved hole in the right wall of the den.

The small place light up instantly, warm orange light washing over it.

Kagome instantly turned to observe the room they where in. It was small, just like she thought when she was at the entrance, maybe even a bit smaller than her room back home and definitely smaller than the hut she had back in Kaede's village.

She could see there were two more carved wholes with candles, one in the left cavern wall and once behind the makeshift bed (considerably large for the room, actually) made of a base of straws and topped with a thin fur pelt that she couldn't identify from what it was made. A tiny make-shift rock table besides the bed, some leftover-burnt out firewood in a corner that she supposed was a spot for a fireplace during winter, and that was pretty much it.

Not that she complained at all, it was actually a lot more than she expected.

"Didn't wolves sleep in packs?" Her thoughts came out of her mouth.

They both look at her a little bit surprised, probably not expecting such knowledge.

"Unmated wolves sleep together" Hakkaku clarified "There are two larger dens, for unmated males and females"

"Yeah, when a couple mates, though, we have several of these smaller dens available for them" Ginta added.

"Oh!" Kagome said, kind of embarrassed. "You shouldn't be giving this to me, then! I can sleep with the rest of the unmated girls!" Kagome assured.

Even if she would definitely be nervous and uncomfortable sleeping with a bunch of stranger girls that surely hated her, she didn't want to take any advantage of anything in any way that might bother Kouga.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Ginta quickly assured with an easy smile. "You'll be much comfortable here! Plus, much safer as well!"

Kagome's eyes widened at the last statement. What the heck does that meant? Was she in actual danger in here? Could some of Kouga's wolves actually hurt her? She knew that they were angry at her and what she did, but Kouga was letting her stay here. Surely they wouldn't attack her, right?

Hakkaku, instantly noting the look in her eyes, elbowed Ginta.

"It's not what you're thinking!" He was quick to say. "He meant because of the war. Things are really rushed this days, and while some of the females help with the injured and with the den, there are some that go to fight, too. You wouldn't be able to rest properly there. Also, this den is much, much deeper in the mountain than the ones for the unmated, because normally mated couples also have their cubs with them, so unmated wolves can protect them if there's an attack or something"

Kagome nodded in understanding at his explanation. It made sense. Still…

"I still don't want to use a potential couple's den just because!" She explained. They both laughed quietly at this.

"There won't be any potential couples anytime soon, with the war going on and stuff. Newly mated couples are real unstable, no one won't risk it right now" Hakkaku said. "Plus, we have so many of this smaller dens, we're always building more of them"

"Yeah, don't worry, sis!" Ginta said with a warm smile, and it took him about to seconds to realize what he said. "I mean Kagome!"

Kagome smiled at him, half softened by the fact that the 'nickname' just came out of him so easily, and half saddened at how he was always correcting himself after using it.

Ginta noticed her smile, and couldn't help but smile a bit sadly as well.

"Old habits die hard, I guess" He said. Kagome only smiled wider.

"You don't have to stop calling me sister, you know" She said, pleading in her mind.

Both wolf demons shared a look, to then turn to her defeated.

"It's not really our choice" Hakkaku said, without needing to explain any further.

Kagome felt something pierce through her heart for the millionth time in the day. Part of her wanted to know everything Kouga has ordered his wolves to do or not to do in regards of her, but it'd only help in hurting her even more. So, she decided to change the subject instead.

She briefly wondered if she was wasting their time or not, but quickly chose to ignore that wonder. It's been three years and a hell of a day, a little catch up wouldn't hurt them that much, right?

"So" Kagome said. "There's a war going on… for three years"

"Yeah, demon wars usually don't last very long. We thought it would be over in a year or so but then the Western tribe decided to join in just when we were about to win, so…" Ginta said.

"It's it okay if I ask why is there a wolf demon war in the first place?" Kagome asked.

"Yeah, yeah. There's no problem. I mean, now that you will be staying here and stuff I don't see one at least" Hakkaku shrugged. "There's no 'a' reason, I guess. I mean, it definitely has to do with Kouga's ruling over the Eastern tribe, but there are several complaints you can say"

"Complaints?" Kagome asked a little bit perplexed. Sure, she never gave too much thought into Kouga's rule over his tribe, at least not into the details. But, she always thought he was an exceptional leader, even back when she first met him. It was just the way his people looked up to him. There was so much admiration and even devotion in his pack's eyes. Also the fact like he was so young (she didn't acknowledge this back then, but know she learned how to read demon's ages). To be such a young demon and have such numerous and not to mention devoted followers it surely meant something.

"Yeah, Kouga was getting too powerful in the eyes of certain wolf tribes" Ginta explained.

'Ah' that made much more sense.

"We grew so much in numbers in such a short amount of time once we defeated Naraku, they got scared. Even more so because in some other regions fertility is definitely not the same." Hakkaku added.

"Yeah, also the fact that Kouga started training us scared them. They wondered if it was because we wanted to overtake them, but it just was because Kouga suffered a lot when so many of our packmates got killed by Naraku, he just didn't want to go through the same thing ever again" Ginta said.

"And also the fact that he's so young, gaining all this power" Hakkaku added.

"Yeah, I suppose I'd be jealous too" Kagome said, earning a light chuckle from both of them. "You said that the Western tribe decided to join later… So, it was the Northern one that declared war first?"

They both seemed to get suspiciously nervous at that question.

Kagome eyed them carefully.

"Uh… yeah, they did" Ginta said, rubbing the back of his head rather nervously.

"Why, though? I mean, I guess they were worried about your growing power but why don't just settle for a treaty or something? Or make sure you weren't trying to overtake them before attacking?" Kagome pressed on. There was something going on here, but she just couldn't figure out what. She doubted Kouga was indeed trying to overtake every other tribe, and she also doubted he wasn't open for treaties or agreements.

"Well… we kinda uhm-" Hakkaku tried to say.

"Offended them?" Ginta supplied.

"Offended them?" Kagome parroted. "How so?"

"Well, uh… remember how I told you there were in fact several complaints about Kouga's Alpha position?" Ginta said and Kagome just nodded. "Well, it's very unheard of and unusual for an Alpha to be leading so many years without a uhm… mate"

Kagome blushed crimson at this. 'Oh, my god, please no'

It was already a big fucking deal that she rejected him and every single soul of his pack seemed to know and take offence at it, but the fact that a war (a freaking war!) might have happened because of it?!

She closed her eyes and tried to avoid hearing the inevitable truth.

"So, when he couldn't well…. Have you" Hakkaku said.

"The Northern Alpha offered his granddaughter to be Kouga's mate and the Eastern tribe's Alpha female, and Kouga obviously rejected her" Ginta continued explaining.

"Duh" Hakkaku said.

"So, of course, the rejection was taken as a great offence by the Northern tribe. I mean, it was the very best the North could offer, after all. She's gorgeous, and strong, not to mention the granddaughter of an Alpha" Ginta continued as he cited all these good qualities this girl had, making Kagome feel a sour taste in her mouth. "And she also wanted to be with Kouga…"

Kagome couldn't help but frown, and that only added to her surprise.

It's been so long since she has felt pure, raw jealousy… and a jealousy that was her own. Fiery, raged, hot.

She was caught up in the feeling for a moment… until she realized something.

"Wait a minute" She said. "Pretty, strong girl from the North who's grandfather is an Alpha" She cited, the truth dawning down on her. "You can't be talking about…" She trailed off.

"Ayame" Hakkaku finished for her.

It was as if she summoned the iciest water from far North to then wash over her like a bucket of cold water.

How?

It felt as if she just remembered something long forgotten.

She suddenly remembered the wolf demoness existence.

How could she ever have forgotten her?

She was honestly amazed.

All these years dealing with nothing but wolf demon ghosts and she forgotten a very important one… and while she was still surprised about that fact, her curiosity about something else quickly overtook her.

"Why did he reject her?" she asked, and the question seemed to boom throughout every single inch of the dens.

Both demons in front of her looked at her like she was just insane.

"I mean" Kagome quickly said, trying to explain herself better "After everything…" She continued, trusting they would understand what she meant without needing much explanation "Why not Ayame?" She truthfully wondered. "I mean, she's just like you said… Gorgeous, strong, perfect to lead by his side" She cited, feeling jealousy grow within her again. "Why not take her as a mate?"

"What do you mean why?" Ginta asked half chuckling, wondering if it was a legit question. "He can't"

"He can't because he doesn't like her…?" Kagome questioned again, not really getting what was so obvious about the question. "Or because he doesn't want a treaty with the North tribe-" Hakkaku interrupted her before she even had a chance to finish.

"No, because he literally can't" Hakkaku said looking at her rather startled.

"What do you mean he literally can't?" Kagome was starting to get a little irritated at them. They were looking at her like she was stupid or living after a rock till yesterday.

"Wolves can't mate with someone else other than their intended" Ginta finally said, as if it was so obvious "That's unless their intended mate dies"

Kagome was shook to her core.

She knew some of demon mating ways, and also some of demon law and stuff. Mostly because Sango taught her throughout this years and because not only she was a priestess, but a miko, so she had to know.

She never heard something like this, though… and considering the fact that her 'mate' was currently with another it just didn't make any sense.

"So, that means that…" Kagome trailed off in a whisper, still shook.

"Kouga can't mate anyone but you" Hakkaku said. "At least until you, you know… die"

"How come you didn't know this?" Ginta asked. "I mean, I know you're human and stuff… but you're mated to a hanyou, right?"

Kagome flinched at that, but didn't respond.

"Also you have that demon slayer friend… I'm sure she knows this stuff!" Hakkaku added.

"I- She did, but-" Kagome stuttered out. "I'm pretty sure it's not like that!" She said a little louder than intended, nearly shouting. They didn't seem to notice it, though.

"What do you mean?" Ginta asked.

"I know for a fact that demons can take another mate" She simply said, jaw tensed.

"Well, yeah, of course! Demons can, but wolves? Never!" Hakkaku said, again as if it was just obvious.

"Wolves mate for life!" Ginta added, and Kagome felt a shiver run all over her body, remembering one of the first things Kouga said to her when they met. When he claimed her his woman.

The warmth that spread inside her turned sour soon, when another thought crossed her mind.

"So, basically, Kouga's waiting for me to die to take another mate?" She said icily.

Both of them looked at her completely horrified.

"N-No! That's not it at all, sis!" Ginta exclaimed, too horrified to notice the slip up of the nickname.

"It's not like it's a death sentence or something! Or like he's being forced to love you or to be with you!" Hakkaku exclaimed as well.

"He wants you. Just you. He can't possibly want any other woman while you're around" Ginta continued, making Kagome blush.

"When a wolf finds their intended mate, they're all they see" Hakkaku added.

"I mean, they can be intimate with someone else if they're not mated yet. But, regarding romantic feelings and mating? It's just impossible." Ginta said.

"Whether Ayame is attractive or not or perfect for him, Kouga could just never mate her" Hakkaku said. "It's almost as if the sole idea of mating someone other than your intended is repulsive"

"That's why wolf demons, while territorial, are not really jealous around their own kind regarding their mates" Ginta said. "Once you're already mated or in courtship process, affairs and such are just unheard of. We might be possessive when they're other demons around but between our kind? Never"

"And normally, once you find your intended mate the courtship process instantly begins" Hakkaku added.

"Look, I don't wanna sound unsensitive or anythin' but… while Kouga might have sex with other females right now, it's pretty much out of male needs" Ginta said, looking half regretful about letting her know that. Kagome just looked at the ground at the revelation. "He could never even consider any romantic involvement with anyone else. The feeling you have towards your intended mate is just incomparable to anything else you could even imagine"

Kagome stayed silent for a few moments, and they just waited for her to digest everything they said as they turned on the rest of the candles in the room.

It was unbelievable, in part. She would have never guessed.

Kouga could just never love anyone else, or even consider anyone else while she was around.

It was probably why he also was so angry at her right now. Not only she rejected him, but she quite literally felt him tied handed. There was just no other choice for him, not second chances or 'more fish in the sea' as the modern saying says.

It must have been horribly tortuous for him… The thought of never being able to be with anyone else at least for several decades (she hoped).

Then, another thought crossed her mind, making her instantly frown in confusion.

"Wait" She said, making both wolf demons turn to her again. "You said wolf demons can only mate or have romantic feelings towards their intended mate" She started, and they both nodded for her to continue "So, is Ayame's intended dead or something? How come she loves Kouga when she's clearly not his intended" She couldn't help but say 'clearly' with a little more emphasis than the rest of the words.

"Well, not exactly" Hakkaku said "Ayame's intended is indeed alive. He's the one in charge of the Northern armies"

"And she still loves Kouga?" Kagome asked but neither of them replied, and that was the only answer she needed. "How?"

Ginta sighed as he rubbed the back of his head again, looking a bit frustrated and struggling with his thoughts.

"Well, Ayame's situation is a bit weird" Ginta started "We think she's just in denial… and we blame Kouga for this as well"

"What do you mean?" Kagome asked.

"Well, Ayame was just so young, even for a demon, when Kouga made that stupid promise to her" Ginta explained. "He told us he made that promise expecting for her not only to forget it, but to understand the wolf demon mating process once she grew up" He excused his Alpha "Of course, you probably already know that didn't happen…"

"We think it's because she basically grew thinking about that stupid promise" Hakkaku cleared out.

"We also think that once she actually gives in at least just a bit into her intended mate, she'll realize there's simply no way she and Kouga could ever be together" Ginta added. "She's so obviously trying to maintain her distance from her intended, because deep down she knows"

"In other words: she's being a spoiled brat" Hakkaku simply said and Kagome mentally grinned at this.

"Still" Ginta said "Another thing that's keeping Ayame so insistent in this is that Kouga's case is a little bit unusual as well"

"What does that mean?" Kagome asked him.

"Well, while is not completely unheard of that a wolf demon's intended is human. It happened before, but just a couple of times and probably millenniums ago. But, it's still pretty unusual" Ginta explained. "Not to mention that it's an Alpha we're talking about… and the youngest and strongest one ever heard of"

"Not only that but, the fact that he was uhm- rejected" Hakkaku added.

"Most of the northerns think that, given the circumstances of both, Kouga's and Ayame's situation, it could be possible for them to mate" Ginta finally finished.

"… I see" Kagome said, finally seeing the bigger picture, and finally understanding why the Northern tribe was so offended and why they declared war.

Kouga was, quite possibly, the best wolf demon Alpha to ever be. He was young, strong, smart and with crazy leadership skills. He had the biggest, strongest tribe, that would likely only grew in numbers and in strength in the future.

… And, he has a human for intended mate, that rejected him.

Then there was Ayame, apparently the only wolf demon to ever manage to resist from falling for her own intended mate. Ayame, who has been obsessed with Kouga since she was a little girl.

Finally, there was the fact that the potential mating between the two would benefit two large, important wolf tribes… And Kouga rejected all that.

He rejected the girl (quite honestly, probably the very best the North had to offer, as Ginta said), he rejected the power, he rejected peace.

Quite possibly just because of what Kagome did.

Both wolves noticed the change in her feelings and what this new knowledge was doing to her, but said nothing to soothe it. It was something she needed to know, sooner rather than later, and even more so now that she was staying here, where she would experience in the flesh the effects of the war.

They shared a look, another perk of being in a wolf demon pack, it almost was as if they could read eachother's mind.

It would probably be painful, and make her uncomfortable, but they needed to know.

"So, now that you know all of these, I hope you don't mind if we ask you something as well" Hakkaku started.

That hat seemed to have snap Kagome off her thoughts, as she blinked to then look at them, with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Sure, what is it?"

They both shared a look again, and while they were nervous as fuck, there was no way they'd live another day with the curiosity.

"Why there's not a single trace of InuYasha on you?" Ginta finally asked.

A.N.:

GOSH, FINALLY! HOW LONG WAS THIS CHAPTER, HONESTLY?!

Hey you guys! It's been a while, but here I am again, quarantine stuck in home, with lots of time and wanting to update my fics!

Idk what to say rn, except that I hope you're staying safe and in home. I hope all of you are healthy, and If you aren't I wish you a safe, quick recovery! Stay safe you guys, it's a difficult time for everyone rn!

Anyways, did you enjoy it? LET ME KNOW!

Till next time!

-Silvana.

[shimmershaewrites]

Waltzing's for Dreamers, Chapter 25 (a Walking Dead story, Caryl AU).

Title:  Waltzing's for Dreamers

Rating:  PG?

Warnings:  some adult language, angst.

Characters/Pairings:  Carol/Daryl, Sophia, OC, Lily Chambler, Meghan Chambler, Michonne, mentions of Aaron, Tara Chambler, Andrea Harrison, Andre, others. 

Author's Note:  so sorry for the delay on this story.  I've been blocked so horribly and just down in general about my writing.  This isn't my best chapter by any means, and not quite what I envisioned when I first drew it up, but words have been so hard for me to come by lately that it's a relief just to put it out there.  Enjoy anyway? 

  Waltzing’s for Dreamers

  Seven years after Vegas.  Middle of March.  The immediate aftermath of Daryl seeing Sophia again. 

      “Coming to the game, Mr. Dixon?” 

  Daryl’s still reeling.  Trapped inside one of them kaleidoscopes, inside a jumbled rainbow of colors and shifting emotions that only gets more and more distorted with each twist so he don’t answer.  Isn’t capable of it really.  Just lets the drone of the boy’s words go in one ear and out the other while he grips his steering wheel with blanched fingers. 

  “Zach.  Leave the man alone.” 

  “Yeah, Zach.  He look like he wants to watch us get our asses beat?” 

  “Who says we’re going to get our asses beat?” 

  “Coach.” 

  “Coach wouldn’t say that.” 

  “He put it in different words.  But he definitely said it.” 

  “Shut up, Jimmy.  Nobody asked you anyway.” 

  The boys argue back and forth, but it’s white noise to Daryl.  He’s lost inside his own head, struggling to put together the pieces of a long-shelved puzzle.  Just when he feels like he almost has it, has the elusive lynchpin within his grasp, the last bell rings and kids spill out of the school in every direction like ants scurrying to collect crumbs, jolting him rudely back into the moment.  “Game’s near Woodbury?” 

  “Yeah, Man.  You coming?” 

  “Dude looks like death, Gage.  Leave him alone.” 

  “Pfft.  Whatever.  Just forget it.  We’re running late as it is.” 

  Their voices fade the further they get away but his little girl’s rings loud and clear in Daryl’s recent memory.  Carol’s joins it and another small voice, a voice he doesn’t recognize but somehow knows all the same.      

  “I thought you were dead.  I thought you were dead ‘cause no way would my daddy leave me.”   

  “Sophia.  Sweetheart.  Not here.  Not now.  Your brother…” 

  Carol had frozen at his sharp intake of breath, her blue sky eyes stormy as she’d taken the small boy by the shoulders and tried to steer him away.  Tried to distract him from the train wreck unfolding before him, the screech and ear-splitting crash of their past colliding with the painful, harsh reality of their present. 

  “Nobody.” 

  That single word, cloaked in ‘Phia’s tears as it had been, still feels like a knife lodged deep in Daryl’s floundering heart.  Still echoes in his ears.  Haunts him.  But it’d been Carol’s softly uttered addition that’d twisted the knife and even now has his life’s blood flowing out of him in a painful torrent.  Has him all out of sorts and all but oblivious to the rest of the still moving world around him. 

  “Nobody that you know, Baby.  C’mon.  Let’s get you home okay?  You and Sis both.  Sophia?” 

  “Mr. Dixon?” 

  “I didn’t…” 

  “Mr. Dixon?  Can you hear me?” 

  Cool fingers circle his wrist, discreetly checking his pulse before moving to calmly loosen his death grip on the steering wheel, and the fog finally lifts enough for Daryl to focus.  Clarity sharpens his mind but also heightens the grief—and budding anger—that he feels and he turns his gaze to the woman eyeing him with muted concern.  He recognizes her as the school nurse.  Has had to send more than one of his dumbass students her way in the short time he’s been at this gig.  Seen her be friendly with Carol and knows where her sympathies lie.  Still.  He feels the overwhelming need to explain himself.  “I didn’t know.  I thought…” 

  Lily cuts him off with a subtle shake of her head and a suggestion for the young daughter that lingers uncertainly behind her.  “Meghan, why don’t you run back inside?  Grab something to drink for Mr. Dixon?  You were right.  He doesn’t look so good.”  When the little girl has scampered away and the bus carrying the baseball team is gone along with most of the cars in the parking lot, she finally speaks again.  “My sister Tara babysits for Carol.  Our daughters are friends, Mr. Dixon.  Sophia’s older, but they tell each other everything.  Any explanations you think you have for abandoning your family?  Sophia and Carol deserve to hear them from you.  Understood?”   

  A ragged sigh whistles past Daryl’s lips and he blinks against the sting in his eyes.  “’Phia ain’t in the place to hear nothing I say.” 

  Lily’s expression softens but she holds her tongue. 

  Daryl nods to himself and drums still nerveless fingertips against his steering wheel as he gazes straight ahead.  “Tell your girl thanks for me, but I got somewhere I have to be.”   

  Lily stops him with a hand on his arm and an inherent plea in the way she says his name.  “Mr. Dixon.” 

  Daryl ducks his head shamefully.  “Mr. Dixon was a man didn’t deserve to be called Daddy.  Guess I’m more like the old man than I thought.  Don’t worry.  I ain’t gonna bother them.  Got more sense than that.”  He doesn’t meet her eyes again, afraid of the pity that renders her voice a quiet murmur. 

  “Maybe she’s not ready to hear you now, but if I know Sophia at all?  Someday she will be.” 

  “Someday.  Yeah, maybe.” 

  Turning his key in the ignition, Daryl brings his old truck to life and its cantankerous rumble is so loud Lily almost has to shout to be heard. 

  “You sure you’re gonna be okay?”

  “Gotta be.” 

  “At least stay until Meghan gets back with your drink.”

  “Done told you…”  

  “You got somewhere to be.  I know.  I heard you.  Just.  I know it doesn’t mean much coming from somebody you barely know.  But don’t hurt them even more by doing something stupid.”    

  Daryl mulls over her words.  Tries desperately to take them to heart as the truck eats up the miles between King County and Woodbury.  To push the building anger he feels away with middling results.  Welcome distraction comes when he passes an athletic complex halfway there.  Sees the King County baseball coach running practice drills with the boys before the big game and winces because he’s gotten to know the man somewhat.  Aaron’s a good guy.  Another one of Carol’s friends and coworkers.  Earnest.  Hard working.  Friendly and welcoming to a fault.  Ill-suited to coaching but out there anyway, determined to turn lemons into lemonade, to make something positive out of something negative when Daryl aches for nothing more in that moment than a confrontation and some answers.

  “Sophia.  Sweetheart.  Not here.  Not now.  Your brother…” 

  He repeats Lily’s sensible words as a mantra, even as the puzzle pieces start to fall into place.  The harder the fist around his heart squeezes, the hotter his blood starts to boil.  Her brother?  But Andrea…    

  “Nobody that you know, Baby.  C’mon.  Let’s get you home okay?  You and Sis both.  Sophia?” 

  By the time he pulls into the Woodbury parking lot, he’s at fever pitch again.  The truck has barely lurched to a stop before he’s jumping out of it and slamming the door, striding to the front entrance and a security guard that immediately diagnoses him a threat, abandoning his post to prevent Daryl from going any further.

  “Sir.  Do you have an appointment?” 

  Daryl blatantly ignores his question.  Indignantly huffs a half-truth as he deftly sidesteps the man.  Woman had been quick to shove those divorce papers under his nose. “I’m here to see my lawyer.  We go way back.  Don’t need no appointment.” 

  “Sir,” the man repeats calmly.  “I’m going to need you to stop where you’re at and show me your hands.  Keep them where I can see them while I verify a few things.  Do that and if your lawyer’s receptive to seeing you without an appointment, we’ll go from there.” 

  Sighing in resignation, Daryl agrees and holds his hands out to his sides.  “Fine.  What you need to know?” 

  “You can start by giving me your name and who you’re here to see.” 

  Some fifteen minutes later, when his anger’s cooled considerably and the pain and devastation of all he’s missed has begun to sink back in deep, Daryl looks up from the weary study of his worn boots when he hears a familiar voice.  It doesn’t belong to the person he expected or wanted to see.  Instead, it belongs to Michonne, and one look at the grave expression the woman wears has him swallowing hard because she knows.  He doesn’t know how much she knows or when she found it out, but betrayal hangs low and heavy around her shoulders too.  “She too much a coward to face me herself?”

  Michonne’s lips pinch into a trembling, disappointed frown before she sucks in a shaky breath.  Her eyes never straying from his, she addresses the guard that waits patiently nearby.  “It’s okay, DJ.  Daryl’s good people.  He’s just been hit with a bit of upsetting news today.” 

  “Sorry, Man,” DJ apologizes.  “Hope you know I was just doing my job.” 

     As soon as they’re alone, Michonne allows Daryl only a brief glimpse of the disappointed tears in her eyes before straightening her shoulders and clearing her throat.  “I understand…” 

  “No,” Daryl instantly interjects through gritted teeth.  “You don’t.” 

  Nodding to concede his point, she begins again.  “I know you’ve just been blindsided.  It’s not exactly the same, but I have too.  Be that as it may, there’s a little boy behind those doors, my little boy, and I know none of us right now understand this whole mess, but Andre?  Daryl, it makes even less sense to him.  Do you get that?  One minute his mama and Aunt Andrea were happy and laughing.  The next?  The next they’re…they’re not.”

  “I’m sorry, ’Chonne.  But…” 

  “But nothing, Daryl.”  Impassioned now, Michonne defends Andrea.  On one count at least.  “Andrea wanted to come out here.  She wanted to talk to you herself.  I convinced her not to.  Me.  Because she was the only one that could console my son.  So please.  Remember that.  Think of him before you storm in there dead set on getting your pound of flesh.  Okay?  Think of him and treat him the same way you’d treat the son you just found out about.” 

  Daryl’s throat grows tight again and the tears that had stung his eyes earlier return with a vengeance, streaming unnoticed down his cheeks.  Hoarsely, he pleads with Michonne to understand.  “My boy, ‘Chonne.  I didn’t know.  She told me, no, she let me think he died.  Even worse…I want some answers, goddammit.” 

  Michonne grabs his hand, offers herself up as an anchor of sorts.  Something steady to hang on to in the onslaught of emotion.  “And if they don’t satisfy you?  We can’t go back, Daryl.  Only forward.  What then?” 

  “Got no fuckin’ clue, but don’t I deserve the chance to figure that out for myself?  And to do that, I need to talk to Andrea.” 

  “Okay.  Follow me.  We’ll get you your answers.”   

[incorrect4minute]

bad girl: jeon jiyoon au

(semi proofread) this au is heLLA long lmao prepare yourself 

but also let me know what you thought of this, i never usually write bullet poit style

request if you’d like to see more au’s like this! - admin muzik

jeon “jenyer” jiyoon was bad news

one of those girls who were “badass to the bone”

she sometimes came to school on a motorcycle

and wore a leather jacket with her gang’s logo on the back

the gang was called ‘4Minute’

this was due to the fact that they could literally beat you up or ruin your life in 4Minutes

or so the rumours said

they weren’t bullies or drug addicts etc

they just liked having the five of them in the group, no one else

this is why people started leaving them alone and making up rumours about them and why they’re so cold and daunting   

this is also why the girls started acting colder towards other students, talking back to teachers etc etc

jiyoon was the most intimidating of the five

she was also the loudest

yelling profanities at other students who looked at her the wrong way in the hallway

she was suspended for 2 weeks when she came to school with green hair

however comma

after those two weeks, her hair was still green

she was sent out of every class

labelled as a ‘disgrace’

she argued that it was a ‘fashion statement’ ‘students should be able to express themselves’

the teachers would have none of it

most students thought she was ‘crazy’ (wink wonk)

like some kind of harley quinn wannabe

she had this aggressive gaze

it was almost like Medusa’s gaze

hence why most students looked away whenever she or 4Minute strutted through the halls

however comma

while most people looked away from jiyoon 

your gaze followed her

what?

even though she kinda scared you

she was exceptionally beautiful

you didn’t necessarily have a crush on her

you knew she was a bad influence

everyone and their grandma knew she was bad news

but somehow that made her more intriguing??

she had never acknowledged you

however (comma)

she once fought with your best friend

jiyoon skipped her in the lunch line

your best friend didn’t know how or when to keep her mouth shut

so

she called jiyoon out for it

jiyoon attempted to start a fight with her

but she caught your eye 

you were terrified of jiyoon could do (you heard a lot of rumours about her)

(plus you didn’t really want to get involved and break up a fight)

and walked off before a teacher could give her detention anOTHER ONE

(but we all know your best friend would’ve lost lmaooo)

no one

and i mean no one

crosses jeon jiyoon

and gets away with it

you never had much of a problem with jiyoon, in fairness, you didn’t know much about her

all you really knew was she lived in the house across from you and was hella “badass”

you were a quiet student

you kinda just blended into the background

you tolerated her loudness in the canteen and in the halls

like most students when she walked through the halls

you turned away or hid your face in a book

yet

the one place you didn’t tolerate her loudness was in class

you actually liked learning

the class you performed best in was english

on the flip side

this was jiyoon’s worst class

she hated the teacher

(but it was really because she struggled with english, but didn’t want to seem helpless or stupid)

so one day in english

the teacher decided to ask jiyoon to recite a bit from the textbook

in front of the whole class

for the first time - jeon jiyoon was nervous

she stood up and began to read

she stumbled and stuttered

mispronounced and missed out words she didn’t know

some people began giggling and muttering under their breath

jiyoon’s ear’s had gone red

once she’d finished she quickly sat down and tried to act cool about embarrassing herself in front of the whole class

the teacher sighed

“jiyoon, we’ve been reading the book for weeks, we’ve gone over the pronunciation of these words. have you even been practising?”

she looked scared for a split second before returning to cool jiyoon™

“whatever,” she said as she rolled her eyes

the teacher sighed again

“fine, let’s now see someone i know will have been practising, y/n, please read that same paragraph for the class”

like most human beings

you hated reading for the class

but

english was your best subject

so you tried to act more confident

you stood up and began to read

sure you stuttered on a few words but you did a very good job

your teacher gave you a proud smile

before they could talk about your reading

your teacher was asked to go see the headteacher by another member of staff who knocked on the classroom door as you were finishing

once they’d left, the class were all talking

you, unfortunately, didn’t sit near any of your friends

but you did sit across from jeon jiyoon

she sat beside hyuna (another member of 4Minute)

jiyoon must’ve been a bit annoyed at the fact you did wayyy better than her in speaking

so much so

she was doing an impression of you to hyuna and those around her

“i’m y/n! i’m sooooo good at english! blah blah blah!” she mimicked in a high pitched voice 

(nothing like yours but nice try sis)

you tried your best to ignore it

the chatter in the class was starting to die down

as they all began listening to jiyoon

this, obviously, made things very uncomfortable for you as everyone in the class started turning around to look at you

she paused to laugh about it with hyuna

at this point, you weren’t necessarily upset

you were kinda pissed off

(who wouldn’t be?)

so

you turned to face jiyoon’s general direction

“you know jiyoon, if you actually practised and tried in this class instead of picking fights in the lunch line and dying your hair shitty shades of green, you might be able to be as good as me”

oooffftttt

bitch

you snapped!

the class went dead silent

jiyoon deadass just stared at you

if looks could kill lmaoooo

thankfully, your teacher came back into class just in time

(you were afraid jiyoon was about to literally murder you)

your teacher was a tad bit concerned with the fact jiyoon was staring at you with just a dash of rage in her eyes

but it was last period on a friday

they could care less lol

they continued the lesson but the bell rang, dismissing you for the day

you quickly gathered your stuff before skrrt skrrting out of class

you met your friends outside

they were pretty impressed with your comment to jiyoon

(you were impressed with yourself too)

you said goodbye to them at the school gates and walked along the street to your part-time job

this was at a restaurant

it high key sucked at it was straight after school on a friday but the place was pretty understaffed and you never really had any plans for a friday as your friends were studious or busy with family etc

you arrived at work, got changed into the uniform and got round to waiting tables

the hours flew by

probably bc you didn’t even have time to stop and check the time

before you knew it, it was time to wipe down the tables and close

you collected your things, said goodbye to the owner and began to walk home

it was now nighttime but the city was still buzzing with people in nightclubs etc

walking home at night never bothered you

there was fear in the back of your mind about getting jumped

(so you had a wee bottle of pepper spray in your bag just in case)

but you’d been working at the restaurant for a couple months and nothing had happened

you passed a bar with some men smoking and drinking outside it

they called on you

but you kept walking

they kept calling you

you kept walking

two of them began to follow you

you quickened your pace, you were nearly home

one of them caught up to you and started yelling at you (all creepy like)

you suddenly felt frozen with fear

that was until a hand came out of nowhere, grabbed yours, and began dragging you away

you stumbled a bit, trying to gain balance

and figure out what the fuck was going on

you saw the men being punched in the face by two tall figures

they were then pepper-sprayed by two others 

you couldn’t see who they were

nor who was pulling you

the person was still running, as were you

you saw you were at your street but they kept going

“hey can you like stop now, my house is coming up!” you yelled at the person

they began to slow down back to a walking pace

but

they didn’t let go of your hand (!!!!)

your street was dark (bc most of the streetlights didn’t work and no one had bothered to come to fix them lol)

however comma

you could make out the writing on the back of the person’s jacket

‘4Minute 4Ever’

it took you a split second to realise who this was and what just happened

“jiyoon?”

they stopped outside your house

‘twas jeon jiyoon (and 4Minute) who saved you

“are you okay?” she asked, fully concerned and slightly out of breath

“y-yeah i’m fine....i think?” you replied, slightly dumbstruck

“what do you mean you think? did they get their filthy paws on you, if they did i swear-”

“n-no, there’s just a lot to process just now...”

“oh....yeah, must be, uhhh, is there anything i can do?”

“would you mind staying with me, at least until my parents get back, i-i kinda don’t want to be alone...butonlyifthatsokaywithyou!” you rushed to say, still a tad dazed 

she gave you a small smile “sure,” she giggled, “i’ll protect you.”

you let yourself into your house and led jiyoon up to your room

“can i get you anything? drink? snack?” you asked, now remembering she was about to murder you only hours ago

“i should be asking you that!” she replied, you both kinda laughed but then remembered how much worse that situation could’ve been if she wasn’t there

you both sat on your bed in a somewhat awkward silence

“i thought you hated me, especially after last period, i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have spoken to you like that, i just-” you said, breaking the silence

“i deserved it, i was a COMPLETE asshole,” she sighed, staring at her hands

“i’m so shit at english, i am at most subjects, i just hide it to keep my ‘badass’ image, i wish i could understand it like you.”

she sighed again

you just sat there shook shocked

“why me? there are other who do way better than me in class...?”

“do i really have to say it?” she smiled at you, but then looked down at your carpet “i um, i did try in school for a while, to impress someone, but they never really noticed, and once 4Minute became a thing i just trying i guess.”

“who were you trying to impress? a teacher, parents?” you asked

“i, uh, it’s silly,” she let out a shaky laugh

“it’s fine if you don-”

“i like you y/n”

“-n’t have, what? why? since when? why??”

“i like you, you seem cool, you’re smart and you’re literally the most attractive human being alive. and uh since when? i was gonna beat up your friend in the lunch line but i saw you behind her, looking scared, and i don’t know, i didn’t want you to be scared of me. i wanted you to like me the way i liked you.”

you were speechless, “but you looked so angry when i called you out in class.”

“i let everything get the better of me, i wasn’t angry at you, i was angrier at myself for not practising, for messing up. hyuna is the only in 4Minute who knows i like you, she stopped me from continuing that shit impression, i’m glad she did, but i’m still sorry i did it.” jiyoon looked at you

“y/n, i am so sorry for ever scaring you or making you feel uncomfortable.”

“it’s okay-”

“y/n, it’s not okay, i feel awful,”

“ji-”

“i just wish i could make things better!”

that’s when you leaned forward and kissed her

you were literally kissing the most intimidating member of 4Minute, in the midst of her confessing to YOU!!

you pulled away first “that made everything better”

she smiled (and blushed a little!!)

“jiyoon, it’s okay. just let me help, i’ll practice with you.”

she smiled “i’d like that. and also, just to clarify, does this mean you like me too?” 

“it does.” you smiled back and you both leaned back in for another kiss

“Y/N WE’RE HOME!” your mum called and the front door slammed shut making both of you jump and break the kiss too soon (for both your likings)

shit

you and jiyoon looked at each other 

you knew your parents wouldn’t be totally chill with having jeon jiyoon in their house

“you could try the front door if you naruto run past them” you suggested

“nah, i’ll use the window.” 

“wait what? why? you could die!?” you whisper shouted

“i can die happy now that i know you like me, and if i survive, i won’t have an absolute nerd as my english tutor!” she said as she started unlocking your window

“the door would’ve been better!” you exclaimed as she got a grip on the drain pipe beside your window

“you’re right, but i wouldn’t be labelled as a badass if i used the door!” and she started to climb down 

“at this point, you’re more like a dumbass than a badass, babe.” you giggled

“i’ll just look past the dumbass part and focus on the babe part, babe.” 

as she reached the ground, jiyoon smiled up at you, waved goodbye and naruto ran in the direction of her house.

turns out, jeon “jenyer” jiyoon wasn’t all bad news

[wellimhavinga3outof10day]

Lost Lullabies - Chapter Nine

Description: Mickey Milkovich, former child star turned action movie star, runs into his old co-star, Ian Gallagher, out on the street in the middle of a winter night. When Mickey takes him in, he doesn’t realize that Ian has the power to completely turn his new life upside down.

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Read on AO3

Mickey didn’t sleep well that night, if he slept at all. He woke groggy at six a.m. and immediately listened for Ian shifting in the living room before he remembered Ian had walked out. Less remembered and more came to terms with. Whatever. Ian had never stayed away for more than one night in a row, so that night he would be back on the couch and Mickey could wake to his small, soft noises tomorrow.

           Mickey got up and went about his day. Breakfast, auditions, meetings, filming, late lunch with Svet, more meetings, a long negotiation with his agent, a radio interview, dinner in the car, and an appearance at a local bar in danger of being shut down – but judging by the crowd, Mickey sincerely doubted that was the real reason he’d been asked to appear.

           He got back to the apartment late, late enough that he expected to see Ian on the couch. But no such luck. He checked the bathroom and his bedroom, but there was no one there. The only sign Ian had been back at all was that his jacket was missing from the rack by the door along with the change he’d left on the coffee table. At least Ian was alive, Mickey knew that.

           He settled in for another sleepless night. Right before he crawled into bed, he sent Ian a quick text saying, come home and sent Fiona a text asking if Ian was with her. He waited five minutes for either of them to reply, got nothing, and rolled back into bed.

           Throughout the night, whenever he got bored of lying with his eyes closed, he checked his phone. Fiona replied sometime after two saying she hadn’t seen him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t somewhere in the house. Ian didn’t reply at all. Mickey sent him another text around four, asked him to say whether he was alive or not and still got nothing.

           He rolled out of bed exhausted the next morning but simply brewed a large pot of coffee and drank as much of it as he could before the car came. On the way to the breakfast place – the producers wanted to pitch him the idea for the Disney show’s spin-off before he officially declined – he sent Ian another text message. I’m not mad. You made the right choice. Please come back.

           Mickey stared at the screen, waiting for the typing bubbles to pop up. Nothing. He bit his bottom lip and started to scroll back through their texts. All of them were simple conversations – are you coming home tonight? yes, do you want Chinese for dinner? sure, don’t make so much fucking noise if you come in at three in the morning. fine – but Mickey read each one with care. He had no idea when Ian’s one word answers had started to mean so much to him, but they had. After last night, he wondered when Ian had started to mean so much to him at all. Maybe Mandy had been right. Maybe he’d loved him all along.

           Mickey managed to get through the meeting with the producers without signing away his life again, even when they asked if maybe he’d do a reunion movie instead of a new show. He told them he’d think about it but as soon as he was out the door called his agent to say that no, no, no, he wasn’t going back ever.

           For once, Mickey didn’t have a lot to do all day long. He sat on the couch and watched more of their show. If he tried hard enough, he thought he could see the exact moment Ian had started to look at him differently. If he stopped being in denial, he could see the exact moment he started to look back differently.

           He actually slept that night, somewhat peacefully. When he woke the next morning to no Ian, his heart didn’t sink as much. It had only been a week. Ian had only been back in his life a week. Mickey could let go of that. He’d managed to let go of seven years of friendship without trying that much at all. He could forget about a week.

           Mandy called late that evening and a couple minutes into her monologue about how the Hamilton cast had absolutely soaked her in champagne, she asked, “How’s Ian?”

           “Gone.”

           “You kicked him out?”

           Mickey considered lying to her. After all, she was miles away and had no way of knowing what really happened. But in the end, he didn’t. “No. We had a... fight and he left and he hasn’t been back for a couple of days.”

           Mandy was silent for a moment. “A fight about what?”

           “We were drunk. I don’t know.”

           “Mick,” Mandy said, her voice slow. “Look, you’re gonna be mad, but your publicist didn’t tell you this for a reason. And that reason is, it’s not a big deal.”

           “What’s not a big deal?”

           “A couple days ago, there were some blurry club videos of you grinding on someone.” Mandy paused. “No one recognized Ian, thank god, and quite a few people thought it might be a girl because the lighting in that place was shit, and your publicist got them all taken down in a couple of hours, but...” Mandy took a deep breath. “Tell me. When you say you had a fight with Ian... did you hook up with him and then throw him out?”

           “No!”

           “Mick.”

           “Honest. Fuck, Mandy.” Mickey’s heart beat hard in his chest, but he swallowed it. If it had been any real scandal, he would have heard of it immediately and had paparazzi camped outside his front door – more than usual. “That’s not what happened.”

           “Then what was the fight about?”

           “He... we...” Mickey chewed on his bottom lip. “I think I might be gay.”

           “No shit, Sherlock.”

           “Thanks, Mands.”

           “Sorry,” she said. “Just, I could’ve told you that when you were about six or seven.”

           “Fuck off.”

           “What happened?”

           Mickey shook his head. He sunk into the couch cushions and managed to resist the urge to bury his nose in them and smell Ian. “He was showing me how to lap dance and we were flirting and I told him... I told him I wanted him and he freaked out. Said I wasn’t ready for it and that he couldn’t do it and he left.”

           “He freaked out?”

           Mickey bit his tongue. “I might have cried.”

           “Shit.”

           “He hasn’t been home since and he hasn’t been answering my texts and I think he’s just gone.” Mickey couldn’t stop his voice from cracking on the last word. Tears pricked at his eyes but he blinked them back.

           “I’m sorry,” Mandy said. There was a long silence, then she added, “You want me to set you up with someone? There’s a ton of gay guys out here.”

           “Fuck off.” Mickey laughed.

           Mandy launched back into one of her stories as Mickey lay down on the couch, listening to her. He fell asleep to the sound of her voice and the smell of Ian on the pillows.

 When a week had passed without Ian, Mickey headed down to the diner he’d gotten Ian the job at. He figured he owed the manager an apology for his shitty recommendation and he probably needed to reassure the guy that he wasn’t about to back out of his promises.

           As he walked down the street, he waved to a few fans and smiled at a guy who took his picture, but was relatively unbothered. When he came through the front door of the diner, the hostess looked mildly shocked, but quickly regained her composure to ask if he wanted a table for one. He asked her to bring him back to the manager and she did.

           Mickey knocked on the office door and stepped in. Bill didn’t even look up from his computer.

           “Hey,” Mickey said.

           Bill glanced his way. “Oh, hi.”

           “I just wanted to come by and apologize.”

           “Apologize?”

           “For asking you to take Ian on,” Mickey said. “I thought he’d last a lot longer than a week before bailing. But don’t worry. I’m still going to do the promotions and everything we talked about—”

           “What are you on about?” Bill looked up with genuine confusion.

           Mickey paused. “Ian. You know? The dishwasher I sent over?”

           “Yeah. What about him?”

           “He hasn’t been here in a week.”

           “He’s here almost every day,” Bill said. He turned back to his computer. “Never misses a shift. Picks up all the dropped shifts. Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

           Mickey’s heart skipped a beat and then crashed painfully into his stomach. All right. So Ian had only ditched him. Something about the information should have been comforting – Ian wasn’t too fucked to go into work, he was still trying, and he’d been down the street almost every day – but in reality it just made Mickey sad.

           “Does he work today?” Mickey asked.

           “Four ‘til close.”

           “Thanks.” Mickey checked his phone as he backed out of the office. It was only ten, which meant six hours until Ian came by, and Mickey had appearance to make, interviews to do, and a date with Svetlana. However, if Ian got off at midnight, he might be able to catch him then.

           Mickey walked back to his apartment, got into his driver’s car, and went about his day distracted. He kept checking the time at the worst moments – right as someone asked him a question or when he was supposed to be acting interested in something. His agent called at three to tell him he better get back on his game or he’d be working well into the night. So he put his phone away and tried a little harder.

           Still it wasn’t until ten o’clock that night that he was dropped back at the apartment. He considered going straight to see Ian – he could go into the back and talk to him there – but maybe that wasn’t the best idea. So he bummed around the apartment for an hour, then put on his winter jacket, grabbed a pack of cigarettes, and headed down to the diner.

           He settled into the back alley between the diner and another apartment building. Pulling out a cigarette, he lit it and let acrid smoke billow out of his lips. He checked the time. Forty-five minutes until the diner closed. And Ian might stay after to help with clean-up.

           Mickey considered sending Ian a text, but if the other man really was avoiding him, it was probably better to catch him by surprise. So Mickey stood shivering in the cold, smoking more than he had since he was a teenager, and checking his phone every five minutes. His fingers started to go numb twenty minutes in, but he refused to walk into the diner and sit down just in case Ian spotted him.

           Thirty minutes in, Svetlana called to coordinate schedules and that distracted him for ten minutes before she hung up with a huff. She was probably annoyed that the shots she’d made at Mickey for having a “boyfriend” hadn’t gotten anywhere with him. But what did it matter to Mickey what Svetlana knew? She couldn’t out him without ruining her own reputation too.

           Twenty minutes after midnight, the back door opened. Mickey straightened against the wall as light and laughter pooled out into the darkness. Ian stood between two other people, a smile bright on his face, clearly in the middle of telling a story. But he stopped the minute he saw Mickey.

           “Go on without me?” he said. The two girls he was with nodded and headed off. Ian stuffed his hands into his pockets and didn’t step any closer to Mickey, didn’t say a word.

           “Want a cigarette?” Mickey said.

           “Sure.”

           Mickey handed him one and then leaned in to light it. Ian leaned back as soon as the tip caught and breathed in a long drag. The smoke pushed out of his lips in a long, clean line. Mickey looked away from him to focus on his own cigarette burning down towards his fingertips. He took a small drag and puffed it out in short breaths.

           Ian settled against the wall a foot or so away from Mickey. Once half his cigarette had burned down, he said, “You stalking me now?”

           “Came by to say sorry for giving Bill a shit employee,” Mickey said. “Didn’t know the only person you ditched was me.”

           “Come on.”

           “Whatever.”

           Ian sighed and turned to look at Mickey. “You know I made the right choice.”

           “I meant what I said. I’m not mad. I just thought you were fucking dead.”

           “Believe it or not, I can take of myself. Have been for years.”

           “Yeah.”

           Ian put the cigarette back to his lips and blew the smoke away from Mickey. Mickey was too distracted watching his lips to realize his own was nearly gone. Sparks touched his fingers and he swore, dropped it before stamping it out with his boot. Ian smiled.

           “Fuck off,” Mickey said.

           “I’ve been trying to get clean,” Ian said.

           “Yeah?”

           “Yeah. I went to a couple of NA meeting with Fiona and—”

           “Fiona said she hadn’t seen you.”

           Ian looked down. “I might have told her not to tell you.”

           Mickey brushed a hand across his lips. “Okay. Yeah. Whatever. I get it, man. I’m annoying as fuck and you’d rather do things your own way. And it’s fine if you never want to see me again, but don’t just... disappear like a fucking ghost.”

           “I don’t... Mick, I never said that I didn’t want to see you again.”

           “Then where the fuck were you?” Mickey snapped. He turned the full force of his glare on Ian. “It’s been a fucking week. You didn’t text, you didn’t call, you didn’t come home.”

           “Your couch isn’t my home.”

           Mickey opened his mouth to disagree and then shut it quickly. He looked down at his feet. “I just wanted to know you were safe.”

           “And I am.”

           “You could’ve fucking told me.”

           “I didn’t want you waiting at the phone for me. I didn’t want you thinking I was going to come back to your place and sleep on your couch again.”

           “You won’t?”

           Ian forced a smile, but it was weak. “It’s a bad idea, Mick.”

           “Why?”

           “Because one of these days my resolve is going to break and I’m not going to be able to stop myself. We’re going to go way past kissing and grinding and we’re not going to be able to go back from that.”

           Mickey forced himself to look up into Ian’s eyes. His heart was in his throat, making it hard to speak, but he managed, “What if I don’t wanna go back?”

           “We’re better off as friends.”

           “Why?”

           Ian touched his forehead to Mickey’s. “Because.” His voice dropped to little more than a whisper, the flutter of his breath hot on Mickey’s lips. “We’re too different, Mick. I’ve been out since I was ten and you’ll probably never leave the closet. I’m a drug-addled former child star and you’re a clean action movie star. I have about twelve bucks to my name right now and you’ve got, what? A couple hundred thousand in the bank? Face it. We’re from different worlds.”

           “We’re from the same fucking world. We’re from the same fucking street.”

           Ian smiled. “Maybe we used to be. If you’d let me kiss you when we were fifteen... who knows how things could have gone? But now? Now it’s not gonna work.”

           Mickey felt the first tear hit his cheek, but he was too close to Ian to wipe it off. “I don’t care,” he whispered. “I don’t give a fuck, Ian. You want to come back to the apartment coked up? Do it. You want to out me? Go for it. I want you. I don’t care about anything else.”

           “God, I wish that was true.”

           “It is!”

           “So if it fucked up your life? If all of a sudden nothing was the same and you couldn’t get a part for the life of you and all your money was spent on my drug habit and we had to move back to the Southside, you would live with that? You would just fucking be fine with it?”

           “Yes. Yes.” Mickey closed the space between their lips with a soft kiss. Then he opened his mouth to press in between Ian’s lips, kept it soft and light, so not to spook him. “Ian. Please. I’ll do anything.”

           Ian exhaled and pulled away, a sad smile on his face. “Let’s not do this to each other.”

           “Do what?”

           Ian reached up to caress Mickey’s cheek. “Fall in love when we know it’s not going to work.”

           “Stop saying that.”

           “It’s true.”

           “You don’t fucking know that, Ian.” Mickey batted away Ian’s hand and stepped back. “You’re just too fucking scared and I thought it was my job to be scared. It’s my life that’s on the line, isn’t it? What the fuck do you have to risk? Your life? Your family? Does anyone give half a shit? Or would dating me just make your life exponentially better?”

           Ian’s expression hardened. “Is that how you see me? I’m just some fucking charity case to you and you’re doing the world a favour by stepping off your high horse to date me?”

           “If the shoe fucking fits.”

           Ian tossed his cigarette to the ground. “You know what, Mick? You were right before when you said I wanted you the fuck out of my life for good.”

           “Fine. Go back to your life before me. Just remember it was always shit without me.”

           “You think you’ve been nothing but good for me, Mickey? Fuck that. You were always the worst thing in my life. And if I stay, you’ll continue to be. You’ll treat me like a fucking child that needs to be taken care of and keep me locked up in your apartment as your little secret. If I go home with you right now, you’ll never come out of the fucking closet and you’ll never respect me and you’ll never, ever come to terms with who you are.”

           “Oh. So you’re doing this for me?”

           “When have I ever done anything not for you?”

           Mickey shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know. How about when you went fucking insane after the show ended even though I begged you to keep your shit together? How about when I texted you audition after audition after audition and you went to fucking none of them? How about when I called Fiona to tell her I could get you in for help and she said you laughed at the idea?”

           “You punched me in the fucking face.”

           “I was scared.”

           “And you always will be, Mick.” Ian took another step back. “I’ve got to go before Fiona thinks I’m on a bender and locks all the doors.”

           “Run away then. See if I fucking care.”

           “Bye, Mick. Nice knowing you.”

           “Fuck you too.” Mickey spit on the ground and then stepped back. He tried to turn, to walk away, but he felt glued to the spot watching Ian go. His heart hammered in his chest and he felt the sudden urge to puke. Instead, he sunk to the ground and rested his head against his knees. After a moment, he lit a cigarette and let the nicotine burn away his tears.

<<Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten>>

[ufuckingpastry]

Bad Bull Boys

Chapter 5: Little Game

AO3 Link

First Chapter

The band, Feferi, Nepeta, and Gamzee arrived at the laser tag place. They borrowed Mr. Vantas’ van since Shanahan refused to drive them anywhere that day, all of them piling in and Feferi taking the wheel. As soon as they started driving, Karkat grabbed the seat and didn’t let go until she made a complete stop in the parking lot.

“And I thought Shanahan was bad!” he shouted, nearly flinging himself from the car. Feferi only laughed and locked the van.

“If you think she’s bad, you purr-obably shouldn’t let me drive!” Nepeta said as she threw an arm over his shoulder. The group entered the building and went up to the counter to figure out the details of their time. Everyone pitched in on the payment and it came down to deciding who was on what team. There were only six of them and it looked like it might be more fun if they split up in two teams. That way, no alliances could be formed to gang up on one teams. However, it still came down to how to split up the group.

“How about this?” Nepeta started after a couple minutes of arguing. “You boys against us?” It sounded like a good idea; Equius nodded his agreement, but Karkat interrupted.

“Hold on, won’t that be unfair? Us four against you two?”

Gamzee winced slightly, chewing their lip. They glanced at Equius, but he held his tongue. Gamzee was somewhat grateful for that; they didn’t want to come out to both Tavros and Karkat in a place as public as this. Nepeta opened her mouth to clarify, but Feferi stepped in and did it for her.

“I think she means, you boys, as in the Bad Bull Boys. And then us girls and Gamzee. Make sense?” Feferi asked, gesturing at the band. She grabbed Gamzee and pulled them in next to her. Tavros looked sad at the loss, but Gamzee smiled.

“Yeah, that sounds pretty motherfucking fun, sis. Even teams, you know,” he added. With the teams finalized, they were fitted with the vest and the laser guns and set out on opposite ends of the room. When Gamzee first walked into the room, they had to stop and stare. The room was dark; the only lights were the black lights hanging from the ceiling. The theme of the place was a bunch of ruins in a jungle. The ‘ruins’ were three stories high with many places to hide behind and climb up on. Feferi and Nepeta led Gamzee towards the main building. The three of them scanned their surroundings for the opposing team. Gamzee couldn’t see anything and the music playing all around them covered any footsteps they’d hear.

As Gamzee was running up the stairs to the second level, their vest buzzed and a red light flickered at the center. They looked around and saw Karkat dive across the floor to avoid Nepeta’s aim. Feferi tugged Gamzee to the side and she scanned the floor. She went quiet, took aim, and fired a couple shots at someone jogging across the floor. Equius shouted as he got hit and hid behind a crumbling wall. The light on Gamzee’s chest flickered back to green and they were up and jogging towards the third level.

“Found you!” Tavros shouted right as he shot both Gamzee and Nepeta. As they waited for their vest lights to flicker back to green, he jumped down from the ledge he was on and jogged away before Feferi could hit him.

“Shit, we’re going to have to make a plan if we’re going to be able to hit any of them,” Feferi said, taking cover in a little room.

“What if we split up and going looking for them that way?” Gamzee suggested, adjusting their vest. The girls agreed and they ran from the room in different directions. Gamzee was caught immediately and they cursed. If only they could get one shot in! They kept watch as they moved back on the floor, making sure to look up every so often. When they heard someone talking, Gamzee hid behind a wall and listened as hard as they could.

“It looks like they split up. I caught Gamzee as he was leaving, but I lost him,” Karkat whispered loud enough for the other to hear. “I think Equius went to the top, but I’m not sure. I’m going to secure the second level, okay? You look around on the ground.” It was quiet as Karkat ran off—Gamzee stayed hidden as he passed by their hiding spot. Thankfully, he didn’t see them. Gamzee didn’t hear anyone leaving so they guessed that Tavros was still standing there. When they peeked out behind their hiding spot, sure enough, Tavros was standing there.

Gamzee chewed their lip and checked out their boyfriend. He was hot as hell in that vest with his laser gun resting on his shoulder. He stood wide open for attack and an idea formed in Gamzee’s head. Time to get that one shot in.

“Hey bro,” Gamzee called and Tavros spun around, his gun ready. When he saw Gamzee sauntering over, he lowered his gun.

“Uh, hey Gamzee. Are you, having fun?” Tavros asked and Gamzee smiled. Their plan looked like it was gonna work!

“Yeah, but I keep getting shot. That’s three times now. It’s not fair,” Gamzee whined. Tavros let his gun drop to his side and Gamzee stepped closer, putting a little sway to their hips.

“Oh, well, uh,” Tavros started, licking his lips and his eyes dropped down to Gamzee’s hips. Realizing that Gamzee was still there and waiting for him to finish, he coughed and his gaze snapped back up to Gamzee’s eyes. “Maybe the next round we could make our own team? That way, I could, uh, protect you.”

“Oh, that sounds so sweet, Tavbro,” Gamzee whispered, standing close enough that they could reach out and stroke Tavros’ cheek. He pressed into the touch and smiled when Gamzee leaned forward and kissed him. It was a soft and sweet kiss and Tavros’ eyes fluttered shut. He tried deepening the kiss and didn’t notice Gamzee lifting their gun to his vest. Gamzee pulled away when Tavros’ vest buzzed, grinning wickedly.

“Thanks for the free shot, bro!” they shouted as they ran off. Nepeta appeared to their left and high-fived them. Tavros watched Gamzee run off, a look of betrayal on his face. For good measure, Nepeta shot him again when his vest flickered green.

The round ended soon after and Karkat chewed Tavros out for dropping his guard and letting both Gamzee and Nepeta get a shot in. Tavros rolled his eyes and sighed, asking to see if they were playing another round. While they talked, Gamzee watched from the sidelines. Tavros was the only shot they got in, but it was nice knowing that they didn’t completely fail. Feferi and Equius apparently had a shootout between them while Gamzee and Tavros talked, but it looked like Feferi won that. Twelve shots to his nine. Gamzee smiled happily while Feferi grinned like a shark. Equius patted her on the back while she celebrated her victory.

Bzzt! Gamze jumped as their phone went off. They pulled it out, checked the number, and hurried out the doors for some privacy with a frown on their face. Why was their manager calling them?

“Hello?” Gamzee asked, hoping that the phone hid the worry in their voice.

“Makara, you need to come in tomorrow morning,” the manager replied without any greeting. Gamzee blinked, their frown deepening. They had to work tomorrow? No, that was wrong. Gamzee checked their schedule several times before going with the band. They had at least another week off!

“Uhm, sorry sir, but I’m not scheduled to work for another week?”

“Matrey can’t find anyone to cover her shift so it’s come down to you taking her place for tomorrow.”

“Sir, I’m sorry, but I’m not even in town. I can’t possibly—“

“Makara.”

Gamzee snapped their mouth shut, swallowing the rest of their words. They waited quietly, their gaze directed on the ground while the manager listed off the several times Gamzee had missed their shift for whatever reason. With each one, they winced and hunched lower and lower into their shirt. Finally, the manager coughed and added one final command, “Makara, if I do not see your face here tomorrow, you are fired.”

The manager hung up and Gamzee was left standing with their phone to their ear and nearly all the happiness drained out of them. With a tired sigh, they pocketed their phone and walked back in, their head hanging. Feferi ran right up to them, her face bright and excited as words spilled out of her mouth.

“Hey! We were just talking about starting another round and Tavros said he wanted… Gamzee, what’s wrong?” she asked, now seeing the frustration and disappointment spread across their face.

“I’m real motherfucking sorry, guys,” Gamzee started, not looking at their faces. Gamzee didn’t want to see their expressions when they received the news. “I g-gotta work tomorrow.”

“I thought you said you had all the fucking time in the world to hang out with us!” Karkat spoke first. Gamzee flinched as he raised his voice. He started to say something else, but Nepeta smacked him back and gave him a glare.

“Can’t you call off?” Nepeta asked kindly. Gamzee shook their head, bringing their arms up and crossing them over their chest. Their hands were trembling.

“I’m covering for someone. She couldn’t find anyone to fill in for her so the management told me that… That I…” Gamzee chewed their lip, subtly shaking and sniffing. They didn’t want this to happen. They didn’t want to be the center of attention like this. They felt horrible; they were going to cry and everyone was watching them and they hated it so much. They felt like they were going to be sick just from all the anxiety tearing them up inside. “I gotta work. I’m sorry.”

“Uh, I’ll, I’ll take you home,” Tavros replied, immediately going to Gamzee’s side. He wrapped an arm around their waist comfortingly and hugged them close. “Shanahan isn’t driving today, so I’ll, uh, I’ll drive you. Hey, Fef, can you drive us back really quick?” Feferi nodded, starting for the door. Gamzee sniffled and hid their face in Tavros’ shoulder. He patted them comfortingly and led them after Feferi. As the three of them left the building, Gamzee heard Karkat ask, “Why is he crying?”

Gamzee was silent the entire trip from the laser tag place to Tavros’ house so he could borrow a car. The two climbed into the car and drove off for Annadale. Soft music played from the radio and Gamzee rested their head against the car seat, watching the landscape fly by. They sniffled every so often and Tavros moved his hand to rest on their thigh, rubbing his thigh comfortingly as he stared at the road. No one talked for the first half hour and Gamzee felt utterly horrible and guilty for making Tavros have to drive him all the way home.

“B-bro?” he started, sniffling again. Tavros hummed to show that he was listening. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

“Huh? For what?” Tavros asked, taking his hand away from Gamzee’s thigh so he could pass a truck on the road. Once they were past it, he slowed down to a more manageable speed and returned his hand to Gamzee’s thigh. Gamzee was thankful for that.

“For making a brother leave and stop having fun because this motherfucker needs to go to work. I didn’t think I’d be so much of bother to you and the band, bro.”

“What? No, Gamzee, you’re not a bother! It’s shitty you got surprised with work on your time off, but if you have to go, you have to go. Trust me, Gamzee. I have my fair share of shitty work experiences.”

“Stop kidding me brother,” Gamzee snorted. “Equius told me about your old band member, but what kind of shitty experience did you ever have with the band?”

“Hey, dude,” Tavros shot back, flipping the car’s headlights on. “I was sixteen. I had a job before I joined the band. I worked in a fast food restaurant and I hated it! Shit, I don’t, even go back to that place. I've seen too, much, bro.”

Gamzee cracked a smile and Tavros fell into a fit of giggles over how ridiculous that sounded. Once they were over their laughter, Tavros continued.

“I taught myself how to play the guitar. It wasn't all fun and games, even before Vivvan got us together. It was hard. It was difficult. I've had fans tell me how, talented I am and how gifted I am to be able, to play the guitar and sing as well as I can. To be, uh, perfectly honest, I'm not.”

Gamzee blinked, looking at Tavros with disbelief clear in their eyes. They were about to protest when Tavros interrupted him.

“No, Gamzee, here's the thing: I'm not gifted. I wasn't born with the ability to sing or play the guitar as well, as I do now. I spent most of my childhood in a church choir. I learned to, sing there and it was fun. I wasn't the best in the beginning. No one is. But I worked at it. I loved singing and, I kept trying to get better at it. Some point in my life, I decided I wanted to learn how to play the guitar. I taught myself. I looked up, videos and the like and I taught myself the basic stuff and then the more advanced stuff. I went to lessons after a year or two, when I could afford it, and my teacher told me I was horrible at playing the guitar.” Tavros laughed fondly at the memory. “But I kept trying. I practiced late into the night and I practiced early in the morning and look at me now! There's still, room for improvement and I'm trying to be the, best I can be.

“The thing is, Gamzee... Life can be really shitty sometimes. You've gotta go to a shitty job so you can afford food for the week and then, one day, your life may get so great and amazing. Life has its ups and, uh, it has its downs. If it only had its ups, it'd get boring after a while. Same with its downs, but too many downs can get really, bad, in some cases. You know?”

Gamzee nodded, knowing exactly what Tavros meant. They appreciated the advice and the attempt to cheer them up, but they still felt bad for ending the fun early. Maybe not as bad, since Tavros seemed okay with it. After all, Gamzee couldn't say no to working tomorrow, unless they wanted to lose their job. They could not afford that.

Though... Tavros' words struck a chord with them. They looked down at their hands and thought about the hobbies they gave up because they worried they weren't good enough to keep going. Painting was the biggest thing in their life for the longest time. Painting their face, painting the walls, or painting the view outside their window. When school got too busy for them, they gave it up. After all, there were so many people so motherfucking better than they were so why even try, right? But after listening to Tavros talk about his attempts at improving his abilities and the effects of his practice and motivation made Gamzee want to pick up painting again. They thought of the abandoned sketchbook in their room and they imagined taking out their brushes, dipping them into their paints—did they even have paint anymore? Or did they throw it all away? Gamzee sighed and leaned back against the car seat. They would have to check their room and probably take a trip to a craft store and buy some paint. Gamzee chewed their lip. They would have to make sure they had enough of a budget for some new paints.

“Are you alright, Gamzee?” Tavros asked when Gamzee fell silent for a long time. They jumped in their seat, startled out of their thoughts.

“Oh, yeah bro. I'm fine! Just got to thinking about what you were saying. Getting my mind all wrapped around it and the like, you know?”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Oh, yeah, I think we're coming on Annadale. You're gonna have to help, me find your place again.”

Once they were in the city, Gamzee directed Tavros to the apartment. They considered telling Tavros to stay in the car and they would part ways there, but they couldn't carry their stuff up in one trip by themself. It wasn't like Gamzee wanted to leave Tavros as soon as possible. It was just that their apartment wasn't the greatest. Or... good in really any way possible. It was what they could afford and they lived by themself so they felt as though they really couldn't complain. As long as nothing broke, they were good.

Gamzee led Tavros up the stairs to their apartment, keeping their gaze down as they unlocked the door and showed Tavros inside. He stepped through, looking around at the entry way, and Gamzee risked a quick glance at his face. It looked worried and maybe a bit disapproving. Gamzee felt their stomach twist up in a knot and hoped Tavros wouldn't say a word about how bad the apartment was. Thankfully, when Tavros opened his mouth, all he asked for was where to put Gamzee's stuff.

“Just toss it over by the couch, bro. I'll get to it when I've got the time.” Gamzee yawned, stretched, and glanced Tavros' way to see him right before he got in real close to them. Tavros had this mischievous grin on his face as he walked Gamzee back up against the wall. Gamzee laughed, a little nervous, but his nerves up and flew out the window as Tavros leaned in to kiss them. He stopped an inch from Gamzee's waiting lips and asked, “Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah bro!” Gamzee nodded, all eager and shit. “I'm always down for kissing you.” Tavros laughed and closed the distance. He pressed his lips all soft and sweet against Gamzee and they nearly melted into a puddle of warm and happy feelings. They kissed back, wrapping their arms around Tavros' broad shoulders, and tugged him close until he was flush against their body. Tavros laughed again and deepened the kiss, his hands drifting down from their sides to grope their ass. Gamzee smiled into the kiss, wiggling against Tavros' hands. They yelped, a little surprised, when Tavros got a handful and squeezed. He paused and checked Gamzee's face, but they gave him the go ahead.

It was fun kissing Tavros. He was big and warm and he trapped Gamzee up against the wall with those big strong arms of his. They sighed, all happy and shit, and wished they could kiss Tavros forever. He was like a miracle in Gamzee's eyes. Tavros was able to turn a day that had turned all motherfucking wrong and turn it into one that felt all motherfucking right. Gamzee nodded to themself. A right fucking miracle.

Gamzee was lost in their thoughts, unaware as Tavros moved from kissing their lips to kissing their jaw and then their neck until he was trailing kisses down to their shoulder. His hand trailed up underneath their shirt. It felt good and Gamzee was digging it. They stretched out their neck, encouraging more kisses and Tavros happily obliged. His hand crawled further up Gamzee's shirt as he mouthed their skin. His other hand, the one still gripping their ass, squeezed once and slide up to their hip. He hooked a thumb in the waistband of their pants, grinned, and rolled his hips against them so they could feel the tent in his pants.

Gamzee stiffened, their soft sighs catching in their throat.

Tavros stopped.

“Gamzee?” Tavros asked, concerned. He took a step back, removing his hands from under their shirt and their pants, and Gamzee snapped back to what was going on. They tried to smiled reassuringly and reached for his hands. He let Gamzee take them, but he didn't let Gamzee put his hands back on their body.

“Come on, Tav,” they called, acting hopeful and maybe sexy, but Tavros saw right through it. Tavros saw how uncomfortable they were in the way their smile didn't stretch all the way over their face. He saw it in the way they held themself, all tight and anxious and worried.

“Gamzee,” he said, his voice firm and he saw Gamzee flinch and worry their lip. “Do you want to...?” he asked, gesturing towards where he thought Gamzee's bedroom might be.

“Well, I...” Gamzee fidgeted and looked anywhere but at Tavros. Tavros rubbed his thumbs comfortably over Gamzee's hands, waiting for a reply. “Bro, I do. It sounds fun as all heck, 'specially with a miracle like yourself, but...”

“But?” Tavros asked, waiting for Gamzee to say it. He had to hear either an enthusiastic yes before he continued in the direction he wanted to go. Anything less than that and he was going to stop.

“Bro,” Gamzee whined, but Tavros stayed silent. They chewed their lip and gave in. “I guess, bro, if you want to, I can. Don't... don't mind it none. You've been all nice to me today and you motherfucking deserve it, so yeah. Yeah, let's do it.” Gamzee smiled reassuringly again. Tavros looked down at their hands and shook his head.

“Gamzee,” Tavros started, holding onto Gamzee’s hands. “I’m not being nice to you just so I can, get into your pants. I can tell you’re uncomfortable with this moving forward and, it’s okay. We can go at any pace you like. Slow, fast, completely stop. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Gamzee stared at Tavros, lip quivering. Tavros gave them a warm, comforting smile and Gamzee felt like they didn’t deserve all the kindness Tavros was showing them. Their hands were warm in his and they felt good and nice and all soft with Tavros here with them, but they couldn’t help but hold back. Tavros didn’t really know everything about them and they wanted him to know before they went any further. Gamzee opened their mouth, but worry pulled them back. What if Tavros didn’t understand? What if Tavros didn’t want to date them after they told him? What if they didn’t like them at all? Gamzee closed their mouth and looked down at their hands intertwined.

“I…” they whispered, their voice shaking. They could tell him right now and get it over with, but if Tavros reacted badly then… They didn’t want to ruin the night any more. “Can we wait?” he asked instead. “I don’t think I’m ready yet, bro. That okay?”

Tavros smiled warmly and nodded. He kissed Gamzee’s forehead and squeezed their hands reassuringly.

“Yeah, it’s okay.”

Tavros stayed over a little longer after that, cuddling with Gamzee on the couch and kissing. Unfortunately, Tavros had to leave after a while so Gamzee could get some sleep and get to work on time. Tavros gave him one last goodnight kiss as he walked out the door and Gamzee felt so good. Even though he had turned down them fucking, Tavros still stayed for a while and Gamzee was so grateful for that. They cleaned up before bed, checked the alarm on their phone, and fell asleep with a smile on their face.

The next morning, Gamzee stumbled across the floor, his hand on his mouth to cover up his yawn. He showered, made breakfast, and drove off to work. He kept his head down as he clocked in and passed his boss, making his way to the checkout lines. One of his coworkers, Issuko, waved to him.

“Morning, kid! Didn’t think I’d see you today, huh?”

Gamzee sighed and nodded, explaining that he was covering for Matrey. Issuko shook his head, muttering something about her taking off too many days. Gamzee liked the old man and was glad when the management allowed him a chair. Issuko had been in a bad accident when he was younger and it really fucked over his knee. He always liked talking about how he was gonna straighten the rest of them out with his cane. Gamzee liked to joke back when he could, telling him that with all the stickers his grandkids put on the cane, it was sure to cushion the landing. That always seemed to prompt Issuko to bring up his cane and show off any new stickers to anyone who would be looking.

Today, though, Gamzee didn’t feel much like talking. He wanted to be back with the band and hang out with them. Their lives seemed so much better than his life at the grocery store. At break, Gamzee checked his phone and saw some pictures Tavros had sent him, including the message, “Wish you were here.” Gamzee texted him back, telling him he wished he was with them too.