#Camilla's are nice too

[thatneoncrisis]

i love how fantastically selfish paul is as a concept. they chose to go together, to be together in the river, a mutual sacrifice so they wouldnt have to go it alone or use the other. and they just left a trail of people behind them who loved them, but not enough to save them

[kyoukoswife]

Go Loud

[honeydots]

pls excuse my terrible photos but this is like the most important thing in the world to me

[remember-the-fanfics]

Gen-Z!Overlord!Reader

• Died at 18, been in hell for a few years.

• Came in after Alastor disappeared, just before Vaggie showed up.

• You were never one to follow what everyone else did. Killing, drugs, theft, or porn.

• Kept to yourself for a few months, getting use to being dead and in hell.

• Accidentally became an Overlord after you killed one in self defense.

"In my defense, she was like super creepy and an asshole. A big one."

• The souls were free but you kept your new territory nice so they didn't leave.

• You made jobs and kept the housing in better shape, only made deals to help souls.

• Gave them a job, house, and protection. You give them a limit of a few years of the deal and if they don't mind it, they can renew it.

"Well I don't want to force them to do something, its rude."

• In return, they keep your territory nice, clean, and less violent than most. Work the jobs you made and protect your little town.

• There's been occasions were you trade souls to other overlords, either the soul did something against them or just an asshole.

• The time on the contract would restart

• To every other overlord, you are a child with a knife and to much power.

• You demolished another overlord because they thought you were weak and tried to destroy you territory.

"You ass eatting bitch-"

• You let others fight for new open territory because you're fine with what you have.

• Panicked when you got invited to an Overlord meeting.

• Apparently you had enough power to be one, then you realized you actually were one.

• It was awkward to meet the most of the overlords. Not knowing who you were to begin with.

"This is for overlords only."

"Oh, I'm (Y/n). I got invited."

• Chatted with Rosie before and after it.

• Camilla likes how you run your territory but you seem so young.

• Did apologized afterwards, introducing you to her daughters, apparently you were around the same age.

• Zestial wanted to know how you took over you territory, interested on how you did it.

• You've only meet Velvette because you need some clothes. She recognized you as the up and coming overlord.

• Throwing the clothes you had in your hands away, saying you need to be in the best lastest trend of clothes.

• You were now stuck having a fashion show as she decided what look good on you.

• While not enjoying all the clothes she had you try on, you kept being nice having conversation when she wasn't yelling at everyone else.

• Velvette learned that you were around the same age so she decided that you were acquainted enough to have her number.

• Apparently it wasn't optional for you.

• You brought back way to much clothes for one person, atleast now you have style.

• Chaotic neutral energy

• Charlie meet you after she heard that you improved a part of hell, wasn't expecting someone so young looking.

"Dying just after I turned 18 just means I look young forever."

• Laughing at your own dark humor.

"Ha...ha.

• Charlie did not find it as funny.

• Told you about the hotel idea and you were right on board.

• Thought it was a good way to stick it to the man and help people.

• Vaggie was surprised when Charlie brought back a child.

• More surprised that you're the Overlord that Charlie wanted to meet with.

• Definitely said Vaggie's name wrong for the first time reading it.

• Meeting Angel Dust after he decided to crash at the hotel.

• Not knowing what he was known for but definitely heard his name from someone.

"You're a kind of actor?"

"Of the sorts."

• After you heard what he was famous for.

"Well, he'll do him and I'll do me but never do each other."

• There was an awkward silence of confusion from everyone.

• Having to explain every reference you make.

• Vaggie made jar for everytime you make a dark joke.

• Charlie has asked you why you were in hell. You shrugged, never living a truly bad life but probably just too chaotic for heaven to handle.

• You leave every few days to check back in your little town to make sure everything was running smoothly.

• You know when something happens, feeling the souls you own in a panic.

• Having to let everyone remember why you were in charge a couple of times.

• Either with your words or actions.

• Luckily Rosie just adores your mannerisms and how you don't completely turn away from her with what or who she eats.

"You could say the food was to die for!"

• She finds your dark humor funny.

• So she keeps an eye out for you, sending letters to you every few days.

• You vist her every other week to just chat, she tells you about easy territories that you could get. You say you would rather show up some punks than have more responsibility with more souls.

• Offers food everytime, you say no thanks everytime.

• Rosie would tell you all the tea about the other overlords or her own town.

• Yay! You have an allie with an another overlord by being friends.

• Also with offering truly worse souls sometimes. On a rare occasion.

• Rosie knowing when you offer a soul to her, she would take her time with it. Enjoying every bite.

• Anyway- Sinners would come up to asking for deal when they are completely down on their luck.

• But whats following a couple of rules for free house and job.

• You give them enough warning before you would shake hands then saying you would know if they even thought of fucking your shit up.

• Putting an add for Charlie's hotel in your territory.

• Charlie almost hugged you to death after seeing it.

• When Alastor showed up, the two of you would have a intense staring contest.

• He wasn't expecting another overlord here, oh wait, you're new.

• Alastor not actually taking the hotel serious, pissed you off but he was more powerful.

• Charlie having to keep you and Vaggie from trying to fight him.

"I didn't know there was a new overlord! Charmed to meet you. Whose territory was up for grab?"

"She was a bitch-."

"I know who exactly you speak of, that's good. She never had any manners."

• Watching him summon Husk and Niffty and was shocked.

• Tried it and summoned one of your workers.

• Excited that it worked! Apologetic for interrupting their day.

"Ah ha! It worked! Oh shit it worked! Sorry!"

• You and Niffty vibe on a similar level. Charmingly violent.

• Vaggie has to make sure either of you give the other one a bad idea to do.

• Husk question your age when you went to the bar. Making you do the math.

"Well I died at 18, it's been a few years so old enough."

• Gave you a hard drink which you spit out after tasting.

• You decide hard alcohol wasn't for you.

• Knowing how technology was when you died making you the most technical advance Sinners in the hotel.

-

That's enough for now, just a thought I had when working.

[longearedhare]

mapping out what I think the Canaan House sleeping arrangements were like, i.e. usage of the Cav Cot™️

Second House: Judith sleeps in the bed and Marta sleeps in the cot, just like they’re supposed to, not least because it discourages Inappropriate Cav-Necro Relationships

Third House: canonically Ianthe and Corona share a bed. Naberius would probably sleep on the cot but only if the girls are feeling nice and aren’t making him sleep on the floor.

Fourth House: They do the intended sleeping arrangements until one of them has a bad dream and ends up climbing in next to the other. they also occasionally have sleepovers in Magnus and Abigail’s room.

Fifth House: this hardly needs saying but obviously they share the bed. The cot is where Abigail’s bedtime reading material lives (it is overflowing).

Sixth House: canonically Camilla and Palamedes sleep in the bed together and use the cot as weapons storage.

Seventh House: Dulcinea obviously uses/needs the bed but Protesilaus is too Large™️ for the cot so she has the skeletons bring in another bed for him.

Eighth House: EITHER they do everything as intended OR they both sleep on the floor because they hate themselves.

Ninth House: canonically we know that Harrow sleeps in the bed and Gideon sleeps on the floor because she refuses to sleep in the cot until after the pool scene. i think Harrow probably wanted her to sleep in the bed with her but was too Harrow to ask

[starberry-cupcake]

I'm currently in chapter 27 of gideon the ninth (as per @lady-harrowhark 's recommendations) and these are my personal character appreciations at the moment, which will probably change in time, but still:

judith: a fool who thought she could mess with camilla the sixth

marta díaz (that's how I pronounce it in my head, I'm a Spanish speaker, give me a break): a bigger fool who got rightfully ended by camilla the sixth

regina george twin: I have had enough of her

chad the third: fuck this guy in particular, he's the absolute worst

silent yandere simulator twin: kinda maybe stan her a little bit ngl

baby isaac: rip 1, guy got brochetted

baby jannemary: rip 2, sad for this one in particular

abigail: rip 3, she seemed nice

magnus: rip 4, he was a baking cavalier and since this wasn't high school musical, he couldn't win against the status quo

palamedes: turbonerd, feels like a guy I would have shared a philosophy class with in uni

camilla: the icon, the legend, the moment, the wind beneath my wings, she's everything that's right

dulcinea: my personal enemy, I have never trusted her, I will never trust her, she could be killed in front of my eyes and I will still think she has an agenda

protesilaus: his entire personality was the live reaction meme, currently he's live reacting from an unknown location

mayonnaise uncle: the most disagreeable man in the know universe but not as bad as chad, because this guy at least knows some things

duracell bunny nephew: he's there sometimes

harrow: I have to admit, I have criticized her in the past, but I have learned to understand and share her state of paranoia, distrust and anger towards those around her who can't keep up

gideon: she's dense but she's got the spirit

edit: there is now a tag for this I suppose, until someone hates me too much for my live reacting

[morallygaymwah]

Ranking seashells by how much I think Nona likes to eat them:

10/10, simply perfect. The grooves create a nice texture and they are wonderfully bite-sized.

5/10, really crunchy with sharp edges but hard to fit into her mouth without Camilla noticing.

6/10, fun snack, but they're usually too big and she prefers to imagine her life as a snail when she looks at them.

0/10, absolutely not. Tastes too much like food.

-10/10, chipped her teeth on one once and gave Camilla a scare. Her teeth healed but she didn't like the look of shock on Cam's face and avoids them now.

7/10, they are so smooth, which makes them a little boring. Still, good shape.

8/10, interesting texture. Ever since Pyrrha mentioned pearl oysters, she expects a pearl in closed shells. (Nona has no idea what an oyster looks like)

10/10, a delicious mix. Stuffs a handful into her mouth when Cam isn't looking.

[liulith]

We as a fandom need to open our hearts to the insane comedic potential of Sir Pentious being included as a background character in stories taking place in the "old days" before Vox and Alastor's falling out. AND the comedic potential of one-sided Sir Pentious -> Vox.

Why?

Canon!Sir Pentious is attached to his era's aesthetics but he also wants to be "hip and cool" (see pilot episode; Sir Pentious as the how do you do fellow kids meme) and join the "Almighty Vees". When did he start wanting that? He's not a media demon trying to keep up with his audience and be a likeable public figure. He's a mechanic trying to conquer Hell by force thanks to his machines and obviously relishes in acting like a villain (fear me! I'm so evil! I'm the architect of destruction! etc. etc).

This is very different from the Vees' approach - maintaining a perfect public image, insidious manipulation tactics... Vox threatens Alastor in the show, but the Vees clearly haven't built their power through turf wars, which is and has always been Pentious' one and only strategy. All the machines we've seen him make are war weapons (+ the Egg Boyz who do his bidding, and help him operate those very weapons). Voxtek probably sells weaponry too but that is more Camilla's domain, so it would be more logical for Pentious to try and join her.

Pentious' and the Vees agenda and interests aren't aligned, so why is Pentious so desperate to join the Vees?

there are many reasons why Pentious could want to be part of the Vees besides the one I'm gonna talk about but you know what MY agenda is:

Vox is Pentious' idol. Pentious is an inventor, an innovator. He would have loved waking up in Hell with a mechanical body he can upgrade however he wants and finds the whole concept fascinating.

He's not against new technology, as his creations clearly go beyond what people could have had invented in his time despite their "steampunk" aesthetic (see: the effing death ray). So I think his current "limitations" are more a matter of him having to stick with what he knows best because it's hard to keep up with the constant stream of new tech. This is why he's more than impressed with Vox's extraordinary ability to adapt to change and master new technologies again and again. He's a fellow innovator! That's one reason for Pentious to be obsessed with the guy.

And if you think obsessed isn't the right word, think about this: Sir Pentious repeatedly challenges Alastor to fights even though he's clearly outmatched and it's an incredible risk to take considering what Alastor does. Pentious is OLDER than Alastor, he was there when he broadcast the most powerful Overlords' scream all over Hell. Plus, losing always leaves him in a very vulnerable position (without his best weapons). Is it madness? Hubris? An obsession for Alastor? No!

Sir Pentious to Alastor: Silence! Now Cower! For when I've slain you, the Almighty Vees will finally acknowledge me!

Sir Pentious thinks defeating Alastor is the only way the Vees will finally acknowledge him. No matter how dangerous it is, he has to try, for the Vees (Vox). Just like he took the risk of angering the Princess of Hell to get in Vox's good graces. This says a lot, for someone as paranoid as him, who doesn't trust anyone who is "too nice" to him.

If Hazbin had more episodes there should have been one about Pentious struggling with the fact he disappointed his idol and told to KHS 👀

(btw this is old news but we know that one of the Hazbin episodes that Viv originally pitched was about a science contest organized by Voxtek in which Pentious and Baxter competed against each other! Pentious could have done that after ep2!)

Anyway, back to the comedic potential of it all & Vox's arrival in Hell. Can you imagine his reaction as a newly fallen Sinner, when he's hanging out with Alastor (aka following him like a lost puppy?) and he meets Sir Pentious for the first time? Like sure, Hell is full of insane people but Alastor obviously has a Reputation and no one ever challenges him. And suddenly... Hm... Alastor?? There's an airship with a giant cannon pointed right as us?? Firing a DEATH RAY?!

It's also so funny to imagine Sir Pentious being obsessed with Alastor and considering him his archnemesis back in the day, only to slowly become obsessed with Vox instead and only caring about defeating Alastor because he thinks Vox will like it. It starts with Sir Pentious trying to "gather intel" on Alastor's new "ally", spying on them or sending his Egg Boyz to do so (and we already know great he is at spying so you can guess how that goes lol), and the rest is history.

Alastor loves attention so he probably let Pentious spy on him behind bushes from time to time if only because it's very entertaining to watch him try to be discrete and make his shadow tap on his shoulder. How hilarious would it be if Alastor noticed Sir Pentious' growing crush on Vox but not Vox's crush on him? Also, Vox misunderstanding Pentious and Alastor's relationship and thinking Pentious is a weird obsessive ex... The world is a stage and the stage is a world of entertainment!

[willothewispwisteriadawn]

We need to talk about Tartt’s character descriptions

More Donna Tartt praise.

She writes human physical descriptions in the most genuine and true-to-life ways. I didn’t even realize how many books do not go into the actual nuance of human appearances until I read TSH and Goldfinch.

I think most books kind of categorize people as pretty, ugly, or plain then lean into what generally makes people pretty, ugly, or plain plus hair and eye colors. I love how Tartt’s books make characters appear how the majority of people really do: an assortment of specific details. There’s Boris’s bitten nails and how Henry is big and square but does not carry himself as if he is. Bunny is a once-muscled guy (now more chubby) whose naturally good looks are starting to get a little sloppy. His nose is also a bit small/sharp for his face shape. Camilla is pretty, and we hear about her thick ankles and the way her curls rest at her temples. Francis is nice-looking because he carries and styles himself well, but we hear that those things compensate for his kind of beaky nose and boney angles.

Pippa is another great example! Theo describes her looks as tender and precious. She comes across as very cute in a homely way. But we hear that her eyes look “naked” because her lashes are so pale (I can imagine this so well!) and that her nose is long. Her cheeks are thin. Theo notes these things, and thinks she’s pretty anyway; he assumes he must have some personal affinity for her and is given a wake-up call when Everett also finds these traits cute.

OH actually let me squeeze in Mr. Barbour here. Because lol???

His eyes were a queer unstable gray and his hair was pure white, which made him seem older than he was until you noticed that his face was young and pink — boyish, even. His ruddy cheeks and his long, old-fashioned nose, in combination with the prematurely white hair, gave him the amiable look of a lesser founding father, some minor member of the Continental Congress teleported to the twenty-first century.

This is so specific and so easy to see. It stuck out to me when I read it, and my mom mentioned it to me when she read it. She said she was really hit by Andy’s dad’s description and thought it was funny but did a really good job delivering an image.

It’s just so real and gets at how normal people actually are: not always pretty in a “safe” way. Tartt has the guts to give you a description of an actual unique, textured person and say “This is nice.” Or, in Bunny’s case, give someone who is basically handsome but not necessarily pleasant-looking. Theres so much nuance, and it’s honest.

It kind of made me rethink how I write human descriptions. There are “safe” things to point out that become a little insubstantial if you combine too many of them: “The pretty girl has glossy hair and curves and bright blue eyes.” And then there’s going into actual shapes and the way people carry themselves and how some features look against others. It honestly just makes the characters really pop and they’re easy to envision.

[near-dareis-mai]

Much has been made of the Palamedes and Harrow friendship (and rightfully so!) but i do think the Palamedes and Gideon friendship is so wonderful and underrated.

Palamedes, who's loved Dulcinea since childhood, who's "made a war of his whole life in order to prosecute his desire to marry this woman", sees Dulcinea flirting with hot butch Gideon and his reaction is not some nice guy bullshit or to shun Gideon or Dulcinea but instead to be as polite and helpful as he's ever been to both of them. It must be killing him inside to see "Dulcinea" act like she doesn't even know him while openly flirting with Gideon, and his only response is to watch over Gideon when Harrow asks him to, and to even send his own cavalier away from him to tend to Gideon, despite a murderer being on the loose.

Gideon, who's grown up on the Ninth House and doesn't know what real friendship or open communication is, finds one (1) woman who's kind to her and pays her attention and yet her response the moment she realizes Palamedes likes her too is to step aside and take steps (ALBEIT AWKWARD STEPS) to communicate to Palamedes via Camilla that she'll 100% step aside for him and even introduce him to Dulcinea if that's what he wants. When she finds out they've known each other since his childhood, she's out here wailing about being a homewrecker and even when she's dashing off to what she's aware might be her death, she makes sure to leave a message with Camilla telling Palamedes how sorry she is.

Just... their friendship is so awkward and precious and wonderful and I'm devastated they didn't get a proper re-meet before Paul happened.

[writteninlunarlight-years]

Hi, I'm not sure if you requests are open but I'd like to ask for a Lucifer Morningstar x oblivious! fem! reader. He met her when he visited the hotel and was immediately intrigued when Charlie told him that she was a a fallen angel. Later on he decides to court her but she is oblivious to his advances. Fluff! Have a good day/night!

Too Sweet~

Lucifer x Oblivious Kind! Reader

You were just so sweet and innocent, so kind and loveable. When in heaven, people compared you to an older version of Emily. Even though you had more life experience than the young Seraphim, you were still naive and careless about many things around you. From Adam’s insults and comments to even Sera’s darker tendencies, you saw nothing but the good in them all.

That's why you saw the good in her when Charlie came to Heaven to discuss her hotel with everyone. You saw the good in the program that she wanted to found. Unlike Emily, though, when Sera commanded you two to stop, you kept going, pleading with everyone to hear Charlie out. In turn, you were cast to hell with Charlie and Vaggie for insubordination.

Your appearance in Hell shocked most residents as you lay next to Vaggie and Charlie. A tall red man was grinning down at you, a cat-like creature had a grimace, and a spider was making a comical ‘O’ face. Sitting up with everyone as Vaggie went to explain to Charlie the hard news that was broken just before your fall, she was cut off by Charlie's overly nice voice. “Everyone listen up. The Hotel is in danger, and this poor angel Y/N was the only one on our side. She was cast down here with us after the news of Adam coming to attack in less than a month.” Surprise at your visit was quickly replaced with terror at the knowledge that the hotel was in danger. Charlie had locked herself in her room, tormenting herself with the knowledge that she had let everyone down. You, however, were being safeguarded by Vaggie. She intended to help Charlie as much as possible until she was ready to talk about everything, including keeping you safe from these sinners who walked amidst you. 

You liked everyone you met, though. Your first conversation with the spider named Angel Dust was entertaining enough. He got so confused and frustrated that you didn’t understand what he was saying to you. According to the cat Husk, you were just too innocent for Angel to handle. However, that didn’t stop a growing friendship between you three. They slowly taught you different things in hell, as you wouldn’t be returning anytime soon.

Against Vaggies best wishes, she allowed such a bond to form her, taking pity on your situation you still hadn’t fully grasped. You rivaled the naivety of even the snake demon Sir Pentious, leaving everyone, including him, to protect you. The only demon you weren’t a massive fan of in the hotel was the Radio Demon Alastor. He asked so many tough questions you couldn’t discuss about Heaven. He always had an odd smile, and everyone warned you never to make a deal with him, especially since your pure angelic soul would amount to so much for him in the overlord world. 

That’s why when Charlie came downstairs, Vaggie worried and yelling about the deal the Radio Demon and her made. You felt so guilty since you knew Vaggie wasn’t there to protect Charlie, and you had Vaggie's attention solely on making sure you didn’t mess up. Guilt ate you up, so while Vaggie went and talked to a woman named Camilla and Charlie left with the Radio Demon to speak to his friend, you led the charge building defenses for the hotel. 

You had seen the Exorcists work before; you even trained with them a handful of times, seeing as Adam wanted you a part of his team. The only thing that stopped your addition to the Exorsits was that you were a gentle soul that could never kill. You would do what you must to protect your new family. You helped board up windows, aligned Sir Pentious's weapons for him, and even found some hidden weaponry in the hotel.

You may be oblivious and naive, but Adam gave you one thing in Heaven: warrior skills. With that said, as Vaggie returned from Camillas with a new spark in her eye, you were eager to learn from Vaggie how to take down your brethren. You believed in Charlie's dream and would not allow it to falter because of Sera or Adam. 

As Vaggie was training you and the other hotel residents to fight, a stampede of new sinners joined in, led by Charlie. With these numbers, you might stand a chance against the battle soon. You were so happy to see Charlie and Vaggie whole once again; it didn’t even register in your mind what sick joke Angel made about their ‘last night’ together. 

The execution day was upon you all, and the battle was fierce and intense; you gave it your all, fighting those you once saw as sisters. Your angelic wings allow you to fight high in the sky with them. That is when you saw another gorgeous angelic creature. It wasn't an executioner or Adam. It was someone far more beautiful, with six bright white wings and deep red feathers underneath. In your awe-struck moment, you almost missed a fatal blow from an exorcist. 

The fight ended with the beautiful creature you soon figured out was Lucifer, having shown kindness to Adam. Though the little demon Niffty ended him, you were still impressed with his grace and poise. He was one of the Archangels now fallen and ruler of hell. Your face was warm seeing him in his glory. As you guys tallied your dead and helped Charlie recover, you kept feeling your eyes drift to the king of hell.

You had never seen someone so beautiful and angelic, even in his demon form. You wanted to ask him many questions, but your fear of being weird or crazy overtook you. Sticking to Husk and Angel's sides, you helped with the rebuilding process, and your wings also gave you an advantage in the rebuilding stage. However, you couldn’t shake the feeling that someone's eyes were also trained on you. 

Once the hotel was rebuilt and everything was said and done, Charlie took the time to introduce you to Lucifer. “Okay, dad, this is Y/N. She came from heaven with me and Vaggie after our meeting, which led to this. As you can tell, she is also a fallen angel.” The look on Lucifer's face was akin to fear and disgust in your mind. You didn’t mean to offend him with your presence. Suddenly, you felt self-conscious and excused yourself to return to Husk and Angel's party at the bar. While you walked away, Lucifer noted your wings and looks. He wasn’t disgusted by you; quite the contrary, he thought you were beautiful and worthy of heaven, not this place.

Lucifer took up Charlie's offer to move into the hotel. Not only to help out and gain more Sinners but also to be closer to you. The only problem was you couldn’t be any denser. He tried talking to you many nights sitting at the bar, yet you were so involved in Angel and Husk’s stories that he couldn’t get a word in. By the time the two would call it a night and head to bed, he would be too drunk to speak to you coherently, leading to you walking him up to his room and helping him get rest.

You were so oblivious and nice. He loved that about you, though. You always saw the good in everyone, and Charlie appointed you as a hotel therapist. As Sinners came to be redeemed, you could sit with them and talk about what they needed to do to heal. You could find the good in even Alastor, and that was impressive in and of itself. As Alastor noticed the king's interest in you growing, he couldn’t help but play games with the king's head. 

This would lead to countless heated battles that had you and Charlie seperating the two so they didn’t destroy the new hotel. You always took Lucifer's side and helped calm him down while Charlie took Alastor's. Charlie had 100% not planned this at all since she, too, noticed her father's growing interest in you. She is eager to see her father move on and be happy again. 

One fight led to a particularly rough love confession that led to an entire-blown relationship. After Alastor had paraded you around hell all day, Lucifer was boiling; how could you not see that Alastor was just using you to flaunt status? If anyone should have you on their arm walking around, hell, it was him. Thus, the battle between the two started. “Alastor, just what do you think you are doing taking the hotels Angel out on the town.” “AHAHA Lucifer, you make no sense. Angel is right over there, not on the town,” Static filled the area from his joke as a laugh track played. “You know precisely what I am talking about, tall and freaky. Y/N shouldn’t be going out there. It is dangerous for her.” You could practically see his horns protruding. 

“Oh, little man, I fear there is some jealousy coursing through you. Are you just mad she will humor me and my time while giving you nothing?” The static grew louder, and Alastors' smile only grew wider.

Slowly, you pulled yourself off Alastor's arm and made your way between the two. “Excuse me to the both of you; I can make my own choices, thank you very much. I may be naive and still learning, but if I am to be stuck here in hell forever, I want to know all that I can so I don’t end up hurt. Alastor, as much as I appreciate your time, you will stop antagonizing Lucifer immediately. Lucifer, if you want to take me out so bad, just do it.” Your eyes were fierce when you looked at both men. 

Alastor smirked and made his way to his tower, knowing your power as an angel had passed him, even in your innocent mind. Whereas Lucifer stared at you, shocked. You just asked him out; you asked him to take you out on the town. He was smiling from ear to ear, so happy at this admission. Your confused face, however, quickly altered his excitement.

“Luce? What is wrong? I am sorry if I was too mean.” Your words were so kind; maybe that hurt him the most. Knowing you didn’t mean it. You didn’t want him to take you out cause you liked him. You were just trying to defuse the situation. He felt his face drop, and he hung his head. Getting ready to go back to his room to wallow in self-pity, he felt two dainty arms wrap around him. “I didn’t mean to upset you; I am so sorry…” Your words cut him like a knife. He wished he was strong enough just to say it, not hidden in his guilt and depression over losing everything once. Yet your warm grasp and soft voice lit something deep within him. Slowly, he turned around in your embrace, pulling you firmly into him. 

“Y/N, you injure me so. You were flaunting your friendships with the others. Being so kind and charismatic with all that come and go from our home. How do you hold my heart as tight as you do when I swore off so long ago, loving once again?” He hoped you heard him well. He hoped you understood his plight and that he loved you. His heart sank at your words as he felt your arms tighten around him. “Oh, Luce, we are friends. I love being your friend more than anything. I am sorry if my yelling made you think otherwise. I will refrain from going out with Alastor as much.” How could you be so oblivious but so majestic and beautiful simultaneously? He pulled you away, looking into your eyes. Your faces were only a few inches apart.

“No, Y/N, listen to me, listen to the words I am saying. I love being your friend, too, but I love you. I want to be more than friends or best friends. I want to spend our infernal days locked here in hell as one. I thought I would only love Lilith and never overcome her love. However, as the seven years of her absence went by, I learned that the love I had then was long gone. That's when I saw you that day fighting Adam and the Exorcists. You are beautiful and light, and everything good I once wanted to share in the world with mortals. Please, Y/N, hear me when I say you are more Angelic than even I, and I love that about you. I love you.” He was red in the face. He hadn’t wanted his confession to be like this. He didn’t want it to be in the middle of the lobby.

Your eyes were wide as he saw your mind trying to process everything. A silent hush fell on the room. That is when he saw the most beautiful thing he had ever seen: your warm, bright smile directed at him and him alone. Soon, your arms were around his neck as you kissed his cheek, his face growing more red.

“I love you too, Lucifer; I didn’t know you had these feelings. I know I am a bit slower than others, especially because of my upbringing in heaven. I would love to live by your side, though. Everything makes so much more sense now why Charlie had been pushing me to spend time with you and all of Angel's jokes at the bar.” You had a lilt in your voice and a soft, breathy laugh at the end. He added everything to the list of lovely characteristics that made you what you are. He smiled wide and pulled you into him. “You missed.” As you went to question him, your voice died on your tongue as he placed his lips upon yours. The kiss was sweet, tasting like sugar and honey. The most divine thing either one of you had experienced. Some claps and wolf whistles let out as the lobby was filled with the inhabitants cheering you two on. This only fueled Lucifer's pride as he dipped you, causing a brief squeak to leave your lips before he claimed them once again. 

What could he say? Kissing you was just too sweet.

[procrastiel]

My highlights from The Assembly:

Was John Taylor from Duran Duran your first ever crush? “Yes, he absolutely was.” Michael thought he was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen, man or woman. And he tried to imitate his hairdo (didn’t work out though, because Michael’s hair is really curly and John’s is straight).

He’s not brave enough to go on Strictly because he thinks he’s not a good dancer.

How does it feel to be dating someone that is only 5 years older than your daughter? “Both of us were quite surprised when we got together, it wasn’t something we were looking for. I haven’t dated anyone who is much younger than me but you meet who you meet. We were both very aware how people might respond, and that it would be difficult and challenging, but ultimately we felt that it was worth it, because of how we felt about each other. And now we have two beautiful children together. We’re really, really happy. I am aware that I am a much older father, and it does worry me, and makes me concerned, and makes me sad thinking about the time that I won’t have with them. But if you find someone who brings you happiness and you make them happy you gotta go for that. So that’s what we decided to do, and I’m so happy we did because we have this wonderful family now.”

The next question (asked by the same girl) was: Who is the rudest celebrity? “Have you heard of a man called David Tennant? He was Doctor Who. Doctor rude! No he’s very nice. Someone will occur to me and I’ll let you know. (pause) Jennifer Laurence was very cheeky! She is very cheeky.”

How tall are you? “I’d like to be 5”11 but I’m closer to 5”10.”

He likes Dylan Thomas, even though he doesn’t understand all of his poetry.

He cries probably every day. And it’s totally fine to feel things deeply and get emotional about things.

His favourite Disney film is Moana. And that’s Mabli’s favourite movie at the moment, too. She watches it about twice a day.

He’s worried that AI will take his job away, and that it will change everything, not just actors and writers. And that by the time we will want to put a stop to certain things it’ll be too late.

His favourite food is Egg and chips. Only enhanced by ham.

He loves going by train.

If he could replace 2 people of the royal family he’d take away Andrew & Camilla and replace them with Joe Lycett & David Attenborough. Or Tom Jones as the Prince of Wales!

If he could play the Doctor or the Master, he’d like to play the Master and play opposite David Tennant as the Doctor.

His biggest fear is being alone. And it’s also what he worries about the most for other people.

Hot or cold? He does like winter and snow. ❄️

Walk us through the before, during and after of the kiss with David Tennant: reading the script he thought “that’s gonna be a big deal”. They didn’t really talk about it and just went for it. Everyone was quite moved by the scene, all the people around them, so they knew it had gone quite well. And now they never talk about it. (He said that last bit with a smile.)

5 OF THE INTERVIEWERS SANG HERE COMES THE SUN FOR HIM AND EVERYONE JOINED IN AT THE END 😍 Michael had tears in his eyes

[colourstreakgryffin]

hii! could u write headcanons of Alastor x Male (preferly) Overlord Reader who is the opposite of him? Rarely smiles, isn't very chatty and is rough? and since Alastor loves dancing and singing, maybe Reader is shy about it and doesn't like the way he dances and sings?

You know what! I am gonna kill two birds with one stone and make us an Ink Demon! Overlord. So, we’re basically like Baby Bendy from the second BATIM game. Don’t know it? Look it up. One side is harmless and adorable and the other side is monstrous and vicious— however. Here, it’ll just be causal demon form than evil demonic Ink Demon form! Anyway. Let’s goooo. I’ve been doing a lot of GN for Alastor, this time we got a man! I don’t know if you want us to be romantic, I am just gonna guess platonic

Alastor- Follow Me

You look pretty cute and friendly. Black and white, cartoony, with adorable stereotypical demon features like arch-like horns and a long-thin tipped tail. Most importantly, your entire body is made of ink. Only your clothing is touchable, otherwise, your ‘skin’ is so soft, liquidity and stains anything it touches. For that reason and one more, you harden yourself up and avoid conversation

Alastor, the Radio Demon, is not a fan of making friends with men. He prefers women, they are just easier to talk to. However, you’re not as vile and unlikeable as most men with your personality is. You’re the strict, stern, responsible one of the Overlords, ordering the other Overlords to pay attention to Camilla Carmine

Alastor doesn’t know why but he finds you interesting

Your uncontrollable Ink Demon side is extremely violent and merciless so you had to develop a thick shell, in order to make sure nothing can make it trigger at random. It’s too much of a risk, hence why you behave in the way you do. It’s a self-defence mechanism and it’s a protection method to everybody else around too

Alastor doesn’t even care that you’re untouchable. He will touch you anyway, getting annoyed by the black ink forming your body in a in-fact, solid fashion, getting onto his sleeves or hand but he ignores it to converse with you

Alastor also ignores the gruff warnings you give out when he approaches you. That you’re dangerous and that the Ink Beast will try rip him to pieces if it’s let out. If anybody thinks Alastor would be scared of the Ink Demon, they have another thing coming. He’d actually like to face off this Ink Beast one day

It looks like, to every other Overlord, that Alastor is talking to a brick wall when he talks to you. Since you’re not responding not even looking at him, just focusing on Camilla and her statements with the most bland and rough expression, not a single hint of a grin. You’re the opposite of Alastor and yet, he’d like to befriend you

Alastor keeps trying and trying without even halting. He’s quite the persistent man and when he wants to befriend somebody, he won’t stop until he gets what he desires and at this moment, it’s to make friends with you, rather you shut him down and bark at him to stay away

Alastor finds your overall appearance cute. You look like you were drawn for a kids cartoon in the early 19th century. Possibly around his own time of the 1920s-1930s. You’re bendy and mendable, you defy all laws of logic and have cartoon physics on your side. You’re like if a kids cartoon demon tried to be a big bad mafia boss and ruled a part of Hell itself, and he isn’t filtered when it comes to this opinion. He straight up tells you all that

Alastor, overtime, ends up succeeding like the little I don’t take no for a answer brat he is in getting you to agree in joining him out to the Hazbin Hotel and accompanying him for a nice little tour. Throughout the tour, he notices that some music in the Lobby is blasting and without even hesitating, he drags you over to join him into a dance

“Come, my dear sir. Let us dance this tension away!” Alastor chimes out rather excited, immediately leading you into a half-messy dance performance with him as the head. You just stumble along, slightly gritting your fangs in discomfort but it won’t be acknowledged by Alastor in the slightest. All he cares about is putting a smile on your face

Alastor laughs warmly as you attempt to try keep up with him during this dance he had dragged you into. You’re clearly quite timid, not enjoying the way the Deer Overlord dances and sings but you either don’t care enough to shut him up or you are too kind to try shut him up

Alastor likes to tease you about your behaviour and your looks. He isn’t frightened or intimidated at all by your beast side and you’re too colourless and squishy to be scary, he does actually view you as a wonderful friend. Even whilst you’re cold and dismissive, he can get you to acknowledge him and be polite to him so it’s a win for Alastor in the end

It’s been a long time since Alastor got a male friend so he can be more crude and snarky with you, without actually needing to be sensitive, like with his women friends

“My good fellow. You don’t need to act so broody. Smile now, you’re safe and whatever you are worried about, it’s not going to do anything to you or me or anybody in this Hotel”

[hazbinhotelxreader]

Carmilla x fem reader smut

Words: 811

“Is this a good idea..?”

A/n: sorry I haven’t posted much this week! I’ve been pretty busy! I’m trying to write more often for yall! Also check out my “Carmillaxfemalereader” blog!

(Reqested by: Thysmother on AO3)

Warnings: public sex, fingering, praising, dirty talk

Both you and the weapons dealer, Carmilla Carmine were heading over to a nice restaurant down the town. Camilla’s been overworking lately and you wanted her to relax a little with a nice dinner. “Mi amor, I do have to thank you. I would have never gotten out of that room if it wasn’t for you to come and get me” she smiled down at you.

You look back up at her and smile too “of course! You really do need a break, you’re always working so hard. You deserve it” you tell her as you interlock your fingers with her large white ones.

She lets out a soft chuckle and kissed your forehead softly. “What did I do to deserve you?” She said as you both walked into the restaurant. You ask the waiter for a table, picking one away from the other sinners near a window. The both of you go to sit down at the booth, Carmilla sitting right next to you.

While waiting Carmilla moved one of her arms around your shoulder to pull you closer. You smile and chuckled softly, leaning into her more. “Aren’t you affectionate today” you say jokingly and place a soft kiss on her cheek.

“Your too hard to resist mi Corazón..” she said in a more lusty voice, kissing your neck gently and leaving black lipstick stains alone your collarbone.

“Carmilla were in public…” you say slightly embarrassed with a blush on your face as you look around to make no ones watching.

“So? Who cares what they think..and I want to show everyone what’s mine..” she said with a soft smirk, kissing and nibbling your collar bone gently. You stifle a moan and held your hand over your mouth to keep yourself silent. She pulled away when a succubus waiter came over to ask for your drinks and food. “Two wine glasses please” Carmilla said. You smile politely at the succubus, then your breath hitched.

You felt her large white fingers rubbing your heated core covered in your pants under the table, you look down to cover your blush. The waiter, lucky for you, didn’t notice this and jotted down the orders and then walked away. “Carmilla..what are you doing..?” You ask, aroused and embarrassed”

“..Mi Amor..just keep quiet and it will be okay..” she says, you felt your pant’s buttons starting to come undone, her large finger easily pulling it undone. You could feel her hand slip into your pants, cutting through your panties and touching your sensitive folds. You let out a quiet moan, holding no one there heard it. Carmilla chuckles seductively into your ears quietly. “Shhhh my dear..let’s not get caught now..” she says and pushed one of her fingers into your throbbing and aroused cunt.

You let out a slight gasp, holding a hand over your mouth to shut yourself up. She placed her lips on your neck, her breathing hitting it. “That’s my good girl…so quiet..so tight..” she whispered and left more lipstick stains on your neck.

You stifle and muffle your moans into your hand, your other hand gripped the edge of the booths seat. Your body tensed and trembled when she added another one of her large fingers into you, pounding slowly and sensually into your sobbing pussy, while whispering small praises and words.

“I love how tight my fingers fit into your pussy Corazón ..it’s such a perfect fit..” she whispered more against your neck, now kissing up your jaw. Her beautiful red and white eyes looked into your own, lust and love filled in them. “You’re such a good girl for me..”

She pushed another finger into your cunt, this caused you to lightly buck your hips into her fingers, trying to keep silent as many moans as possible. She lets out another chuckle “oh so desperate for attention…don’t worry baby..once we get home I’ll show you some real love~” she promises.

You start to whimper softly into your hand, feeling the reach of your climax, which Carmilla took notice of. “So close now aren’t you..? Be a good girl for me and cum..” she signals you and gives one final thrust, your walls tightened around her large fingers, that causes you to let you have your orgasm, the hot liquid coating Carmillas fingers and the inside of your pants.

Though you have to say that it was perfect timing, cause right after you finished your climax the waiter came back again with your guys food, setting it on the table. Carmilla sent the waiter away with a thanks and then looked back at your aroused, blushing and satisfied form. “Oh just wait till we get home..I’m going to devour you just like I’m going to devour this food..”

[onwardmotley]

hello I saw your tags - can i ask about alectophant theory?!

Alectophant is my exhaustively researched and very serious theory that Alecto's problem with the body John made is not that it's a blonde barbie body, nor simply that it's a physical or human body at all, but:

Nona chortled. “Not one bit.” Nona hated having hands.

“Well, tell me your theories,” Nona demanded, feeling much better from sheer excitement. “Say them out loud. Am I nice? Am I good-looking? Do I have lots of friends? Does everyone listen to me? How many legs do I have?"

Nona made her body stand on its two feet. Two feet—the worst number for feet; not so many that they were ever useful, not so few that you didn’t have to think about them.

John had made her so ugly, so unbearably ugly. The terrible face, with the terrible arms and legs and the terrible middle part, and the terrible hair, and the terrible ears: the nose too short, the ears too brief.

her ideal body is an elephant.

Problems Nona has with human form:

hands are dumb

two is a dumb number of feet

(her only specifics about the body John made) nose too short, ears too brief

Features of an elephant:

zero hands (who needs them!)

four feet (a useful number!)

enormous (and practical!) ears

a VERY long nose that's way more useful than stupid hands

And, finally:

Nona looked down at the animal she had drawn, and thought perhaps she understood. She said, “No, I made it up. It does work, I promise. See these things? They’re its ears,” she said, in much the same tones as she would have explained to Kevin. “This thing is its nose, and you can’t see it because I didn’t draw it, but the mouth is under here. When first it was born it used to live in a river, but then it got cold so it had to get large. I know the legs can’t rotate, but you don’t think that’s stupid, do you?” She looked up at Camilla and the Angel, then said, “Am I in trouble?”

She draws one for the Angel.

In conclusion:

[friendamedes]

text (from the interview tamsyn did with tumblr):

I find all ships intriguing. I’ve spent too long in these mines. No ship is too problematic or cracky for me. My only hope is to out-fandom fandom by presenting them with ships more problematic and crack-filled than they do (I will not; fandom always wins). In these tiresome days where ship wars have been taking on airs, as is my understanding, of virtue versus sin (I don’t even know what Bakudeku is and yet I feel sorry for anyone who ships it; I didn’t ship Reylo because it wasn’t messed-up enough and feel the same), I hope the Locked Tomb fandom is just accepting that all shipping is batshit and every ship is just as bad as the next. Gideon x Harrow is just as bad as Teacher x Crux is as bad as Hot Sauce x Cytherea the First is as bad as Camilla x Juno Zeta is as bad as Silas x Every Asht Brother (actually, I wrote the Asht brothers in an unrelated piece that’ll never see the light of day and imo they’ve suffered enough, but). 

some of you should hear this again.

edit: i'm a campal, good lord, please be nice & polite abt campals on THIS post too. thank you very much.