... I'm smoking, and I'm moving around a baseball around in my hand. And I'm counting the stitches. 'Cause it's a Möbius loop, it's just one line of stitches, I'm counting - kind of like a rosary.
"Take me out to the ball game..."
I'm watching Candela Obscura for the first time and my brain just went "hey what if we drew Sean with huge Ghibli tears wouldn't that be fun???
god i cannot express how impressed in general i am with the storytelling that cr is doing with candela obscura but what really strikes me is how evident it is that the storytelling they do is defined by the hearts of those who are putting it together rather than adhering to a specific idea or image of a given story that they want to uphold. there is such a stark difference between the tones of chapter one and chapter two (to the fault of neither, i’ve enjoyed them both immensely because they both happen to hit parts of the supernatural-horror genre that I am so deeply fond of and so happy to see in a real play medium).
there’s the obvious difference in gming styles, matt has fantasy running through his veins and that’s evident in the way that chapter one ends up having a tone akin to something like the scarier episodes of buffy the vampire slayer. spenser outright references mike flanagan in his pre-interview thing and good grief is that so so evident in his narration and the way he emphasizes the themes emerging in the story in the environment of the world they journey through and choices like the letter from sean’s mother that subvert the audiences ability to rely on a character’s perception.
but the energy the groups of players bring to the storytelling is obviously also so important, too. like, even just looking at the groups prior to watching each I probably could’ve guessed which might’ve had a more lighthearted tone. the combination of ashley, anjali, and robbie already would be one i’d guess a more warm/goofy vibe for (not to say they can’t be serious and dramatic, but the tone of the seriousness is still warm and the world that prompts them towards drama likewise feels warm) and laura, despite her propensity for goofs, does tend to be a chameleon with group make ups. likewise i think we all had a certain (affectionate) fear™ when it was revealed that marisha, brennan, luis, and travis would be reuniting in another short form story and that has certainly held up and been incredibly bolstered by zehra’s absolute commitment and immersion into the story (constantly fucking blown away that this is her first real play she’s incredible).
this is all just to say as someone deeply interested in digital storytelling, i am so so enamoured by cr’s commitment to following their own desires as humans telling stories to one another while adhering to the requirements they have as a company. and also if you haven’t you should watch candela obscura, especially now that spooky season is here.
Uncannily perceptive child and a traumatized solider of war standing opposite each other in a bathroom is giving me such strong imagery I want to draw but my brain is so focused on this episode holy hell
Ok but the amount of stone cold self hatred and depreciation that is within Sean Finnerty breaks my heart.
The creature impersonating Kingsley tells him "We're the same. I know vengeance. I know how you feels" trying to justify his actions. Presenting itself as a victim.
Meanwhile Sean, a person who enlisted illegally, nearly a kid, witnessed horrors on a battlefield, was convinced he's was doing a right thing in killing those kids back in Ghost squadron/platoon, lost his brothers, lost his mother, is afraid he will lose his new family as well so he puts himself in harm's way to prevent it he simply says: "he's trying to tell me his sob story but Im not listening. We're the same. You're right I'm a monster too"
The difference is that he doesn't use his past actions to justify it, he deeply feels like he is a monster and deserve it. He doesn't see himself as a victim of violence and the survivor of war and honestly it's heartbreaking
I love that Spencer has a specific PTSD button that turns the set lighting red and softly plays the battle sounds inn the background. Really came prepared.
On a practical level, it makes it easy to find those scenes in the VOD preview and if you mute it it's easy to visually mark the start and end of a scene. Which makes it much easier to mark for content warnings.
On an emotional level, it takes us into a specific headspace that is both familiar and Wrong and that heightens alertness. The present and the past and visually and audibly blurred.
"Take me out to the ball game" now lives in my head the same way "Sarsaparilla" does.
Both innocuous terms now associated with extreme acts of violence in a sanatorium by two deeply wronged and traumatised men. Sean Finnerty with his lucky baseball, hitting his final home run to avenge his brothers. Caleb Widogast casting gravity sinkhole on the guards below the sanatorium where he was held for 11 years.
Both powerful scenes roleplayed by talented actors committed to their characters and their depiction of the long-lived consequences of trauma.
Both scenes will rotate around my brain like a microwave until the end of time.