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[whatsabriard]

Watch With Me: Hart to Hart 1x19

Episode Title: Does She or Doesn't She?

Original Airdate: March 18, 1980

Why this one: I've kind of figured it out, I think. When the series finally came out on DVD, they released the first two seasons and then...CRICKETS. So the vast majority of my "favorite" eps come from the first two seasons because they're the ones I've seen the most. Barry and his hothead salon is no exception.

Favorite Quote: After we feather the condor's nest, what do you say we come home and feather our own. What a good idea.

Right off the bat - when Jennifer meets Peggy in the bathroom way back in "You Made Me Kill You", she tells some bullshit story about her hairdresser. The truth is her real hairdresser is Barry and he has been since forever.

This episode opens with women gossiping with their hairdressers, which are all men.

Jennifer is getting her head done for the "Save the Condor" benefit.

Her stylist, Barry, is flirting with some girl. Jennifer is amused.

Guest star: this fabulous lady from Grease.

Mrs Hutchins shows up, but her appointment is tomorrow at 2.

She rolls up with a gun and shoots at Barry and Jennifer hits the deck along with everyone else. There is much screaming and running and bullet holes everywhere.

Jonathan pulls up in time to hear the gunshots and he runs in to find Jennifer.

"Boy when I said come pick me up I didn't think it would be off the floor."

Jennifer is really concerned about her earring but Jonathan is like "BABE ARE YOU OK?"

Sally Hutchins, according to Barry, is a really nice lady usually. She must have had a really good reason to shoot him.

Jonathan knows Barry has a good reputation but he prefers when Jennifer does her own hair.

While they dress they muse about how they don't really get what happened that day, and Jennifer doesn't think he was having an affair with the gun lady.

After all, he's pretty up front with his girlfriends.

Jennifer finds something in her purse that she picked up when she was looking for her earring. Jonathan thinks it's a hair dryer part.

Over at Barry's house, he's being visited by a gangster who wants to talk to him. Tells Barry to get rid of the girl.

We realize that this gangster guy was blackmailing Mrs Sally.

He reminds Barry not to call the police or the insurance company. And when Barry tries to fight back, he gets punched in the stomach for his effort.

Outside of Barry's apartment, Mrs Sally is sitting in the dark with a gun. When she sees the gangster come out, she peels out in her car.

She calls her husband but he can't talk to her. So she apologizes and drives off into the night.

What is it with this guy and his dumb ascot?

Max has a hangover - he lost his shirt in poker.

There's a call at the gate and it's the Grease lady from the salon.

She is worried about Barry. "He seems to be in quicksand." Every time she asks him, he shuts her up.

Jonathan asks questions about Sally and Grease Lady says Barry was not having an affair with Sally. He draws the line at married women.

Max enters with the information that Mrs Sally is dead. "Poor Barry," Grease Lady says.

The Harts go to see Barry, dressed in matching outfits.

The important part of this cap is the giant breast behind them.

Barry is not making an insurance claim and he makes a vague explanation about writing off costs as improvements.

Barry was stunned about Mrs Sally, but he doesn't seem to be too concerned. He tells the Harts to let him handle things.

Jennifer thinks Barry isn't in any position to ask for help, so Jonathan calls Max and asks him to tail Barry.

J&J go to see Mrs Sally's widower.

He seems very sad about his wife. She was very gentle and dependable. And her husband is very guilty about not talking to her the night before.

At home, J&J are making pasta from scratch.

Jonathan says in his early days he made a buck stretch pretty far.

Max arrives home and has lots of info. A loan shark (the gangster from earlier) visited Barry and then his two goons went into the building next door.

They have an office on the second floor - in Beverly Hills!

The loan shark's goons are there every day at 9, except monday.

The building superintendent is Italian - Alfredo.

Barry's building looks familiar - I think it's a restaurant. Or was.

Anyway, J&J are trying to get into Loan Shark's office and the Harts buy their way in with homemade pasta.

Let's be real - if these pretty people came and brought me pasta they made with their own four hands, I'd let them do whatever they wanted, too.

So the kids break into the office and guess who pulls up just as they go inside? If you said two goons, give yourself a bowl of pasta.

Micklin. The loan shark's name is Micklin.

Once inside it's a pretty empty office with a giant fish tank and a reel-to-reel recorder. If you don't know what that is, get off my lawn.

Goon #1 realizes the office is unlocked and the Harts claim to be from the humane society, checking on the health of the pirhana. But then they take off running and like all idiots in a chase, they run to the roof.

With no other choice, they jump into the conveniently located truck full of mattresses.

"All I can say is it's a heck of a way to get me into bed." Ya'll cannot smash on this mattress don't even think about it.

Micklin tells Barry to get the Harts to quit looking into things, but also warns him not to snitch. But he doesn't trust Barry, so he orders the phone be bugged.

The next scene starts with only dialogue, which is meant to insinuate J&J were able to hold off on smashing untl they got home. Jennifer says she loves the strength in Jonathan's hands.

Instead, he's just giving her a back massage because she's sore from jumping off the building.

It reminds Jennifer of when they used to play touch football. "It wasn't really touch football was it. You used to tackle me all the time, even when I didn't have the ball." What did the ref say? "There was no ref, we were in the living room. "

Jonathan tells her touch football is for kids - tackle football is for adults. And she knows how he is about contact sports.

AND THEN SHE'S LIKE "CONTACT" and HE SAYS "YOU NOTICED" i'm sorry we're sitting here talking about Jonathan's Big H and *I* am the only one blushing? SHOW.

"Its not that I really mind but...you never let me score. "

They're really about to do the damn thing when MAX BUZZES IN.

"Two minute warning," according to Jennifer, who looks bereft. No nookie for you, princess.

Jonathan answers the intercom with his foot - because he's not letting this opportunity slide - but goddamn BARRY is there.

Not that the Harts managed to get dressed to see him. Fewer clothes means they can get back to their game quicker.

Anyway, Barry took a loan from Micklin and he doesn't want that to hurt the Harts. He tells them to stay out of it and you know how good this couple is at keeping their noses out of stuff.

They send you-know-who to get some dirt from Micklin the loan shark. He's going to go pretend to take out a $2k loan.

J&J decide to find out more information about Sally from her private secretary.

The secretary spills that Sally had a flirtatious weekend with someone who isn't her husband but she really loved her husband.

In the last few weeks of her life, Sally was even more tense than usual.

"She wanted to sell a necklace, a very expensive one Mr Hutchins had given her."

Max strikes out with Micklin, who says he only deals in LARGE sums of money with substantial collateral. Max says he has plenty but it's still no deal.

On his way out, Max takes a brochure. Who makes a brochure for their loan sharking business? that's weird.

When Max tells them about his experience, he mentions the locations of Micklin's other businesses...which just happens to coincide with the locations of Barry's other salons. Beverly Hills, New York, Dallas and Palm Beach.

Since there's no internet, J&J call information in all the cities to get the addresses and locations of Barry's salons and Micklin's offices. And in every city they're next door to each other.

And Micklin's offices are open every day but monday - just like hair dressers.

And the thing Jennifer found in her purse is a bugging device.

Women tell their deepest, darkest secrets to their hair dressers and Micklin has been using the dirt to blackmail the womens.

On confronting Barry, he confirms all of it. He got a loan so he could look fancy but he can't just pay off Micklin. He's in too deep.

So my darling, daft babies decide to set up a sting to get Micklin to blackmail Barry.

At the salon, Jennifer tells Barry that Jonathan is playing a very dangerous game with money. Jonathan is "up to his old tricks again", selling the same shares over and over again.

Then Jennifer turns into a 1940s gun moll and says "I'd like to meet the man who is a match for my Jonathan."

Stupid Micklin rises to the bait.

At the house, J&J have brought in the police who just wants to raid Micklin's office.

It is the HARTS who remind him how police and the law work.

It's also the perfect time for Micklin to call and get the ball rolling.

"We have nothing to talk about Mr Hart. Now you will do the listening. That is, unless you want me to call the authorities. Now at 5:30 you will bring $100k in small bills to the La Brea tarpits."

So they get the money and head to La Brea but first...they decide to call Barry and tell him they're ok.

and do we remember that micklin bugged Barry's phone?

whomp whomp

Barry says he'll thank Jennifer in person and Jonathan says "yeah, but not in private" because sometimes they're just that territorial over each other. Fortunately, it's all in good fun.

a few blocks from the tar pits, Micklin calls Jonathan and tells him to come to the salon and don't call the police if they want to see Barry alive again.

Micklin wants the money and Jonathan says he'll be glad to let him have it...and swings the briefcase at Micklin so that an entire keystone cops fight breaks out. But it doesn't last very long.

The final cut scene is Barry, Grease Lady, Jennifer and Jonathan sitting around discussing someone in the chair. It's Max.

"This won't shatter my image, will it Mr H?"

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