#DEAR OL' DA'.

[theythemmer]

for years my friends have tried to get me back into minecraft and idk how to explain to them that after tosoth the game will never be the same . it’s been A DECADE and this fic still rules over my brain

[obsessedwithceleste]

Deflections

Mattheo Riddle x reader

Interlocked pt 2

Summary: deflect (verb) to cause (someone) to deviate from an intended purpose.

word count: 2.5k

©️ obsessedwithceleste. This work belongs to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.

Getting close to Mattheo was significantly easier than you had initially anticipated.

Upon your return to Hogwarts you had hesitantly agreed to Professor Dumbledore’s plan with the stipulation that if the old wizard even suspected that you or Mattheo were ever in serious danger- the plan would be called off immediately, and measures would be taken to ensure everyone's safety.

The old man had seemed surprised when you included the boy’s well being as well as your own in your set of conditions, but hadn’t pushed the issue.

You had worried of course, that you might not even be able to get the plan off the ground. How was one supposed to magically appear in someone’s life? You hadn’t found any spells to help you in that particular area. Fortunately for you however, Dumbledore seemed to have pulled some strings as you were currently sat next to the curly haired boy in your assigned seat while you waited for your next class to begin.

You debated trying to start up conversation with the boy, but really what were you supposed to say? Hey, how’s dear ole dad? No. Got any deep, dark secrets you’d like to share with the class? Obviously not.

Lucky for you, Harry chose that exact moment to burst through the doors, muttering something anxiously to Hermione who honestly just looked exasperated.

“Harry please, just drop it for now,” she sighs, stopping and shaking her head at the boy.

“Mione it’s important!” Harry protests, shooting a nervous glance at Draco, and then the boy next to you.

You watch as Mattheo glares at the dark haired boy, a snarl forming on his lips as Harry continues to give him suspicious glances.

“Oh come off it Harry, just sit down, class is supposed to start soon anyway,” you speak up, hoping prevent any spats this early into the school year.

Hermione gives you a look of gratitude before steering Harry off into the direction of their own seats on the opposite side of the classroom.

“You ladies sure do have boy wonder on a tight leash,” Mattheo says after a moment once Harry is out of earshot.

You let out a surprised snort, looking at the boy next to you.

“That boy is a menace. And I’m not even that friendly with them. It’s a wonder Hermione is able to keep him and Ron alive half the time,” you reply cheekily.

Mattheo let’s put a laugh and you’re surprised by how genuinely happy the boy could sound. You had supposed happy moments were few and far between for him.

“So are you friends with them then?” He asks

“Friendly is the word I’d use for it,” you tell him. “More so with Hermione than the boys. She’s the one who invited me to join the DA last year. Probably wouldn’t have gotten involved otherwise.”

You watch as Mattheo tilts his head in consideration, fingers tapping rapidly against the desk.

“Wish us Slytherins had been invited. We hated Umbridge just as much as everyone else,” he says with a scowl. “Except maybe Draco, but man will use any excuse he can get to go on a power trip.”

You laugh softly at the last bit, but can’t help the guilt that rises up in you at the truth behind the boy’s words. It was true, every other house had been included in the DA, yet no one had bothered to acknowledge the distinct lack of green robes amongst them.

Before you can reply, Snape glides dramatically into the class room, eyes lingering momentarily on you and Mattheo before he moved on to the front of the room. It seemed he’d finally convinced the headmaster to give him the post for Defense Against the Dark Arts.

The next time you run into Mattheo is quite literal as you collide with the boy as you’re both browsing the never ending shelves of the Hogwarts library.

You were lost in your own little world, eyes scanning the worn down spines of the texts in a determined search. You didn’t even see him coming.

It only takes a split second to feel the weight hit you, the air escaping your lungs for a moment as the books in your arms thud to the ground.

“Shit, sorry bout that,” a deep voice mumbles, scrambling to grab at the books littering the floor.

As soon as you regain focus on the situation, you’re surprised to find the one and only Mattheo Riddle on the floor next to you. You hadn’t realized he was one to lurk about the library.

“It’s alright. We really should do this on purpose sometime,” you laugh as the boy sheepishly helps you pick your scattered books up off the floor.

The boy beside you freezes, looking at you with a shocked expression as the words leave your mouth.

“You want to be around me? On purpose?” He asks in a sort of disbelief as he eyes you warily.

You feel your heart clench at the earnestness with which the boy speaks. Clearly there were layers to this boy that others simply hadn’t cared to uncover. There were so many expectations that you had of the boy, but thus far, he'd crushed every one of them. He just seemed. Human. And yet not even the professors at the school cared to find out if this boy really was like his father. He was simply cast to the side, ever suspicious and conniving. Being the son of one of the most feared wizards in Britain, it probably came with the territory. But it felt absolutely cruel to be manipulating someone who really had no say in this upcoming war.

You had always thought that Dumbledore was the leader of the light. The epitome of goodness and moral strength, but looking at the curly haired boy in front of you made you wonder. Why were children doing the adult’s heavy lifting?

“Well sure. You were great in class the other day, and we don’t choose our family. We find it.” You reply, a tight lipped smile stretching across your face.

Mattheo was fucking stressed. The moment he had stepped foot back at Hogwarts with Lorenzo and Draco, it was like a mountain had been lifted off of his shoulders, only for a mansion to be dropped back on top of him.

Sure while they were at school they were technically out of his father’s reach. But the tasks he had assigned each of them? They loomed over the boys like a puppet master towered over his wobbling little marionettes.

The only one the boys could really focus on at the moment was Enzo’s task. To repair a broken vanishing cabinet. None of them wanted to think about Draco’s task. Mattheo shuddered at the thought. And then of course there was his.

It had been easy enough to find a target. Snape had practically handed him the perfect victim on a silver platter, seating him next to one of Potter’s friends in DADA. Maybe it was the flaring teenage defiance in him. Or the fact that the girl had turned out to be rather fit and witty, but the idea of seducing the girl at the demand of his father absolutely repulsed Mattheo.

His whole situation was fucked really. He could feel the burning in his forearm even now as his eyes scanned the library shelves. He hadn’t wanted any of this. None of them had. Draco may have been proud to hear his father’s mark at one point, but he knew better now. They all did. And they were suffering for it.

There wasn't a single day that the boy's didn't feel as though they were suffocating under the weight of it all. And then to make matters worse, they had dear Saint Potter up their arses, sniffing about where he had no business.

All these thoughts swirled through Mattheo’s thoughts as he haphazardly searched the library shelves for any and all books pertaining to repair spells, hoping to find something- anything that would aid Lorenzo.

Just as he’s turning into the next row of books, he runs straight into another student, jolting them forward as books fly out of their arms.

“Shit, sorry bout that,” he mutters, bending down to collect some of the fallen books.

When his eyes travel up again, he finds himself staring into the warm eyes of the very girl he’d been thinking of moments before. He must’ve bloody manifested her or something.

Your words echo softly in his head, the only thing really registering being the fact that you had asked to spend time with him.

Maybe in another life Mattheo would've been popular with the ladies of Hogwarts. He was attractive. He knew that. But no one wanted to associate with the likes of him when his father was looming about. Up to this point, students had been avoiding him like the bubonic plague. Mattheo couldn’t help but admire your confidence and the ease with which you conducted yourself around him as he stared at you with shock.

Under normal circumstances he would be attracted to you. Fuck. Under these circumstances he was bloody attracted to you.

“You want to be around me? On purpose?” He blurts out, immediately cursing his own idiocy.

“Well sure. You were great in class the other day, and we don’t choose our family. We find it.”

Yeah. He was done for. It feels like a warm, fuzzy blur as Mattheo agrees to meet there in the library the following night to study. And the world seems to move in slow motion as he makes his way back to his dorm as if in a trance.

“Find anything useful?” Lorenzo asks as soon as Mattheo steps through the door. He looks more ragged than normal. Hair askew and dark blue forming under his eyes. His usually go-lucky grin is subdued.

Mattheo shakes his head, slumping onto his bed.

“Think I might’ve accidentally begun my own task,” he grumbles, burying his head in his pillow. Maybe he should just suffocate himself now.

Glass shatters, glittering fragments scattering about the floor as Mattheo lets out a frustrated roar.

Lorenzo looks tiredly at his friend and then at the vase, previously in his friend’s hands, and now littering the floor with disinterest. It had been months of working endlessly on the blasted cabinet with little to no progress made. These bursts of outrage from Mattheo were nothing new.

“I’ll kill him myself! Fuck him. Fuck this. Fuck!” The curly haired boy raged, knocking another vase off of one of the random tables crammed into the wretched place.

“Let’s just call it a night,” Draco intervenes before Mattheo could cause any more damage to their surroundings.

The boy was seething, chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Go work on your own task hmm? That always calms you down,” Enzo adds, a sly smile forming on his tired face.

No matter how stressed the boys were, they always had the energy to tease him, Mattheo thought dryly to himself. He could feel his fists clenched tightly, still shaking as he focused on reigning himself back in.

“We reconvene tomorrow night. Snape got me a pass for the restricted section. I’ll take a look and report back,” Draco decides, the three of them making their way out of the room of hidden things.

Mattheo had calmed down significantly, but was still silently fuming as he spotted you in your usual spot next to the fireplace in the library.

He was mad at the world really. Mad that he was cursed with an evil thing to call a father. Mad that that thing was threatening his friends. Mad that there was nothing he could do about it. Mad that no one with any real power was doing anything about it. And mad that he was supposed to be manipulating the beautiful girl in front of him.

“Someone looks like they’ve had a rough night. Did Enzo set your bed on fire again?” You ask, looking up and noticing the rather mesmerizing boy hovering in front of you.

It had been months since the two of you had first started meeting in the library and it had been terribly awkward at first to be honest. The boy seemingly had locked up every single defining trait about him and surrounded himself with wall after wall.

It had taken time, but slowly and surely, the boy had begun to let you in. He was weary of course. Anyone would be in his position you supposed. But it was surprising how easily the two of you seemed to fit together.

Mattheo hums roughly as he plops down beside you, arm wrapping securely around you as you turn to face the boy.

“Just. Stuff with my father. You know how it always is,” he sighs, running a hand through his wild, curly hair.

You didn’t really. If there was one thing that Mattheo was always closed off about, it was his father. Not that you could blame him of course. He was actually rather open about his own life once you had gotten to know him a bit. Not hesitating to share with you the many escapades of him and his fellow Slytherins. But as soon as his father was mentioned, he snapped right back shut.

“Hmm, tell me about it?” You ask carefully, turning to face the boy fully as your hand traces the back of his.

You’re close enough to see the faint line of the scar that marred the boy’s pretty face, and how his eyes seemed to darken as his whole body tensed.

You let your thumb rub the soft skin of his wrist gently, resting your head in his shoulder as you wait patiently for the boy to speak.

Something else you’d gotten good at was calming the boy down when his anger flared up. Your silent support seeming to sooth whatever was raging beneath the surface.

You were trying to pick the boy’s brain. You knew that. And it felt grimy. Sickening really. It had taken weeks for the boy beside you to really trust you, and how did you repay him? By whispering in Dumbledore’s ear.

Mattheo lets out a deep sigh, resting his head on yours.

“My father.” He begins slowly, voice barely above a shakey whisper, “he assigned us tasks. Me, and Draco, and Enzo.”

You remain quiet as the weight of his words take hold. Harry had been going on all year about how he was sure the Slytherin boys were working for Voldemort. How could they not be with his very son leading them? But to hear it from Mattheo himself made the situation all the more real.

You wait a moment as the silence stretches on, and when the boy doesn’t elaborate further, you grasp onto the boy’s hand, giving it a tight squeeze.

“You’re not running away in horror.” Mattheo murmurs, eyes focused on the floor in front of him.

“You’ll have to try harder than that to get rid of me.”

The office of the headmaster was all too familiar at this point. The eyes of the portraits gazing upon the familiar visitor with disinterest.

Your stomach was in knots as the old man before you gazes at you steadily.

“Harry was right. They are working for Voldemort. Mattheo, Draco, and Lorenzo. He assigned them all tasks, but he wouldn’t say what.”

Tag list: @atadoddinnit @leona-hawthorne @leyla-1905 @weasleyreidstyles @mayamonroem @prettylilsimp @idonotknow7778 @lovefushi

[sgiandubh]

Olá, boa tarde!!

Caittony é conhecida de todo e qualquer brasileiro que se interesse por OL. Não apenas na própria página, que é aquele Show de horrores: ela tem por hábito abordar fans que interagem nas páginas mais diversas - foco na série, nos livros, em DG, nas páginas dos outros atores, na de Sam, Cait, Balfienation, mulheres apontadas como amigas de Sam, da Starz, etc.

Demonstrou qualquer interesse em Outlander? Será abordada por Caittony, sempre com piadas e agressões as shippers. Todas nós já fomos abordadas por ela, que é um verdadeiro espinho na vida do Sis Brasil, que é perseguido diariamente, com suas publicações e até alguns documentos expostos.

Essa pessoa vive em função de agredir e ridicularizar shippers.

Seu nome real é conhecido por algumas mais antigas no tt.

Não acrescenta absolutamente nada ao fandon, não tem qualquer interesse em Cait ou seu (suposto) marido. A grande questão para Caittony são as shippers.

Dear Caittony Anon,

Embora não seja tecnicamente uma pergunta, achei seu envio muito interessante. Vou traduzi-lo e acrescentar meus dois centavos, como sempre.

Hello, good evening!!

Caittony is known by all the Brazilians interested in OL, and then some more. Not only through her own freak show page: she has a habit of approaching fans who interact with the most diverse pages - about the series, the books, DG, the other actors, Sam's, Cait's, Balfenation's, women peddled as Sam's friends, Starz.

Have you ever been interested in Outlander? You are bound to be approached by Caittony, always making jokes and attacking the shippers. We have all been approached by her. She is a real thorn in the side of Sis Brasil, who are persecuted daily, with its publications and even some documents exposed.

This person's reason to live seems to be attacking and ridiculing the shippers.

Her real name is known by some Twitter veterans.

She doesn't bring anything to this fandom and she does not even seem interested in Cait or her (supposed) husband. For Caittony, it's all about shippers.

Well, let's say it's all about statistics, here. For every 100 good natured, polite and overall honest, normal people, you just have to have a freak, haven't you?

Stupidity and lack of common sense are international. There is no need to ostracize an entire nation/community because of a monomaniac, parochial fuckwit who just happens to be louder than many other, less vocal, trolls.

This person is not the only Derailed Policewoman of this fandom, but it's true that she is one of the nastiest, vulgar and ultimately inane I have ever seen in here. And I have seen A LOT. There is no new content created, you are absolutely right. There just seems to be a permanent, all-consuming need to reassure herself with the same, same, same words, words, words.

One thing's for sure: C's deep silence and zero interaction with her fans, ALL her fans, can only encourage all kinds of speculation. For example, some think it's Tony on that pic, some don't and this is absolutely fine. It's not like the world's destiny depended on it. I am, for once, torn and a bit clueless: this is, if anything, a very poor and very intriguing picture of McInsipid and yes, I have thoughts and questions.

But ultimately, the real questions and the real problem are elsewhere and it's been like this since 2015:

What is normal about this picture, pray tell?

And this, well... This has nothing to do with shippers, for once.

Thank you for your submission. It is most welcome as you are, always.

[bucknastysbabe]

i love your writings, i love reading dom!reader fics so much and your sub!viserys III fic was so😫😫😫 can you write more stuff with dom!reader/sub!viserys?

TA-DA!!! Lmk how you liked it :)

Rating: Explicit

A/N: This is a big ole AU where roberts rebellion doesn’t occur and Rhaegar took over. Henceforth Arianne marries Viserys

Tags: Open relationships, sub!Viserys III, afab sex worker reader, bi reader, implied relationship w Arianne Martell, pnv!sex, Viserys is a bottom who tries to be top and fails miserably, man tearsssss

Egotistical

Arianne’s big brown eyes stared into your own quizzical orbs. She hummed in that lilting accent of hers, “Can you make it work or no? Gods know he’s temperamental. She lounged on the bed in your room, clad in a silky dress. Your gaze studied her curvy body, distracting any thoughts.

The Dornish princess wanted you, a whore she employed, to fuck her husband. For reasons unknown. Prince Viserys was handsome but by all accounts a complete arse. You sighed, “Why do you exactly want me to seduce your husband?”

Her full lips split into a smile. “Because he needs it. I think some,” she waved her hand, “Carnal pleasure would do Vis some good.” You barked a laugh while your fingers nervously picked at the pillowcase. Cocking your head you asked, “Why can’t you do the trick?”

Arianne replied, “It’s not in my nature to dominate. I like to be fucked by big strong men and women, not do the fucking,” she leveled you with a look, “That’s what the little bitch craves. So I bring him here and you do it, yes? Plenty of coin involved.”

You rolled your eyes and pulled the olive skinned woman towards you, groaning out, “Fine.”

-

You could hear the prince’s annoyed tone down the hall. You laid naked in the bed, toying idly with your hair. Candles and incense made the room smell fragrant and herbal.

“Arianne, what is all this? I don’t fancy myself getting a pox tonight!”

The Dornish hissed back, “Just shut up and go in there, I’m tired of you bitching all the time Viserys!”

The blonde made an indignant splutter, stumbling as he was shoved in the room. Arianne’s curls bounced as she laughed, “Good luck, play nice Vis.” Viserys stared in shock at your naked frame while she slammed the door behind him. You purred, “Evening, m’lord.”

He was dressed in fine wool, emblazoned with the three headed dragon. Wide lilac eyes gazed upon you, his mouth twitching but no sound came out. You ran a hand up your body, sinking your fingers into the soft flesh of your tits. His dark brows pulled together as Viserys stuttered, “W-what is the the- the meaning of this?”

You raised a brow, elaborating, “The princess said you need a special sort of care.” His lips pulled into a frown, but you spotted the Targaryen’s cheeks flushing up nicely. He hissed, “So my dear wife set me up with a whore?” You shrugged and sat up, laughing, “Yes I suppose she did. You want me to fuck you or not, pretty princeling?”

His cheeks darkened further, nervousness flitting over Viserys pale features. He wanted it for sure, but pride was holding the indignant thing back. You cooed, “You don’t have to hide, I know what you need sweet boy.” The Prince made a soft noise, purple orbs searching your eyes. You curled a finger to beckon him over, shifting your legs open to display your wet cunt.

“Fucking seven hells, f-fine,” he grumbled.

You grinned at his sullen pout, curling your hand into his silky blonde hair as Viserys shucked off his boots next to the bed. You said, “All of it off,

good boy, yes.” He huffed and divested himself of the clothes in jerky movements, frustrated at the pace his shaky fingers were going. You held back a laugh at his demeanor, obviously the prince was not very experienced getting ordered around in bed.

You eyed his slim body as it was revealed, all pale unblemished skin. “Beautiful.” Viserys made a soft sound, putting a knee on the bed. His cock was reddened and at half mast, you wrapped your hand around it and pumped. The prince gasped and bit down on his lip in response, prick jumping. You sighed, “Pretty cock m’lord, you’re so beautiful.”

He whimpered softly, lashes fluttering as you jerked him off in slow strokes. Viserys swung his other leg up, moving forward to practically straddle you. The prince kept his eyes averted from your lustful gaze, embarrassment making pallid skin flush down to his chest. One of your hands gripped at his ass, amusedly remarking, “All that bravado is a front isn’t it? You’re shyer than a flowered maid.”

He whined, “Gods- no!” The prince pushed you back onto the bed, taking a position of power. You snorted at his pitiful attempt to take charge, letting the fool smother you with a hot kiss. Obviously Viserys was not aware of what you could do regardless of his bluster. You lapped at his lower lip, grinning at his hitched breath. Viserys voice cracked as he tried to growl, “I’m the blood of the dragon! I take what I want!”

You nodded. “Yes my prince, you are very powerful.”

You wrapped your thighs around his slim waist, goading the prince on, “Go on, take it like the dragon you are.” His lips trembled in anger, lilac eyes cast with self doubt. You thumbed at his long neck, digging the digit into his thumping pulse. His cock rubbed against your slick pussy, Viserys hips making little jerks.

He insulted you in a whiny tone, “You’re a bitch.” One of his hands groped your breast roughly, the other guided his cock inside of you. You moaned lowly at the feeling, breathlessly laughing at the prince’s mouth falling open on a whorish moan. His eyes shut tight again, hips stilling. You knew he was trying to hold off from coming.

You rubbed one of his boney shoulders, whispering into his ear, “Poor princeling, just let me take over, hm?” He whimpered lowly, cock twitching deep inside of you. Viserys panted, “I- I can’t, oh gods!” He tucked his face into the crook of your neck, trembling and overwhelmed. You took the initiative to start fucking yourself on his cock, sighing in pleasure at the stretch. He was well made, you could say that. Always the tall and skinny ones.

Viserys cried out louder this time, shivering at the feeling of your cunt sheathed around him, wet and velvety. His hands grasped at your flesh frantically. You moaned, “I’ve got you sweet Prince, feels s’good!” He began to fuck back into you in sloppy thrusts, gasping and whining pathetically.

“Fuck, gods, fuck you’re s-so wet mmm!”

You purred in excitement, he was falling apart in your arms so easily, “Just for you m’lord- hah, poor thing just needed a strong hand.” He babbled in agreement, sensitive tip rubbing against your insides. You yanked his hair to get a look at Viserys flushed face, the man whining like a bitch in heat.

You took in the beauty of his disheveled state, red and sweaty from minutes of fucking. His lips trembled and gaped from constant little noises you were milking out of the blonde. You inquired, “S’that feel good my Prince? You like how wet my pussy is for you?” He nodded miserably, purple eyes rolling around. You clenched down on his length harder, rocking your hips in a quicker pace.

He cried out and latched his mouth on your collarbone, helplessly sucking and biting at the thin skin. The angle you were at was hitting the good spot in your cunt, moans of delight echoing. You demanded in a soft voice, “Touch me dragon, let me come around you, it’ll feel like heaven.” He nodded disjointedly, long fingers circling around your swollen bud.

The prince had let go of his ego with abandon by now, consumed by your tight heat. He begged softly, “You’re s’perfect, oh don’t stop!” His lips sucked a blooming mark into your skin, fingers moving faster. You were panting now, fucking yourself faster and faster until slapping filled the room. Heat coiled in your lower belly, ready to pop.

Viserys whined at the squeeze, “Fffuck! M’gonna cum in you, oh please take it! Need it!” You bobbed your head in agreement, orgasm imminent, Viserys pretty little noises ushering you along. You snapped your hips up and grabbed the prince’s ass to sink fully inside of you— snapping that building coil. With a cry you tightened and convulsed around his cock, cunt pulsing in waves.

The prince fell apart at the sensation, babbling and breath hitching like sobs. Tears pricked his lilac eyes while you thrashed under his slim frame, moaning wantonly. He babbled, “So tight so tight so tight!” You sunk your teeth into his lower lip, Viserys spasming and emptying into you. He hiccuped and sobbed, tears rolling now. You sighed at his load filling up your pussy, still gently gliding along his twitching length.

You squeezed his ass again before sliding your palms up Viserys heaving frame, cooing soft words and praises. He sobbed and slid out, curling into your smaller frame. The prince whimpered, “Thank you- fuck- thank you.” Arianne slid through the door silently, her full lips quirking up at the state of Viserys.

You lazily smiled at her and pressed your lips to his pale hair. He nuzzled your neck, still offhandedly babbling. Arianne slid onto the bed to join the sweaty pile, cooing, “Oh, sweet Vis, she wore you out no?” He turned his reddened eyes to her and nodded wearily, pulling the Dornish into his side. You grinned, quite happy at being smothered by two royals.

“He’s a good boy, did so well,” you praised.

[cool-person-yey]

I JUST HAD A VERY CRAPPY FEW DAYS BUT IM BACK FUCKERS! TMAGP NOTES 14 YALL

• ahhh * ominous music* I've missed you

• 'pet project' what will that entail??? Hmm

• I was missing some good ol' animal horror

• assuming it's animal

• * office noises* my dear

• Alice!

• Celia!

• " Oh the date!" yeah like you could forgot about it

• Sam c'mon. talking about work in a date???

• yeah pls no workplace drama

• I recognize that humming! Sam!

• Lena! Looking for Gwen huh

• Chester!

• reptile hmmm

• oh a rat

• skin irritations...

• ' burden' I am worried already

• you got scratched. Buddy that's how they get you

• dang that place nasty

• the voice is more human now!

• uhm... Are you alright buddy?

• snakes? Thousands???

• what is not their fault????

• us????

• dad...

• he was off huh

• oh shit

• oh so it's animal horror + body horror. nice.

• institute?

• oh no

• OH NO

• I love you da-

• we thought the same thing lmaooo

• yo Gwen!

• Gwen 🤝 me

accidentally sneaking on ppl

• damn Sam's salty

• ' no one ever does' did you receive love as a child sam

SEE Y'ALL NEXT THURSDAY ( HOPEFULLY)

[violetwitch12087]

The evans reactions to reader saying a kinda flirty joke to them/ headcannon

Evan Peters

"are you my favorite food? Cause i be craving you all the time"

Would be a little confused at first and start laughing a bit

You guys would both burst out laughing till you cant breathe for a while

"im never saying anything like that again" "what no it was cute tho"

Thinks it's cute and that's your guy's thing now

Tate Langdon

"are you a ghost? Cause i see you being my boo"

Immediate burst out laughing to the point hes hunched over trying to breathe

"was it that bad?" "N-no baby-" *more laughter*

After comes up with a even more funnier more flirty joke and you guys just end up coming up with more and more jokes

Would definitely love it tho

Kit walker

"do you have a name? Or can i call you mine?"

Would definitely have a big smile

Would grab your waist and smile while looking at you

"well you already can ms walka"

Gives you a big ole kiss

He adores your jokes all the time and sometimes comes up with even better ones

Kyle Spencer (pre death)

"do you drink soda? Cause you look so-da-licious"

Would probably become a little flustered bc lets all be honest hes so boyfriend and hes so babe

Would probably need a little reassurance idk

"wow, you really mean that?" *Nods*

Would definitely make a even dirtier joke and you would be the one blushing 100% hes the king of dirty jokes in my mind a little bit only when you guys are messing around he wouldnt just say it hes not like his frat brothers ugh i hate them

Jimmy Darling

"are you a sea lion? Cs i can see you lion in my bed tonight"

I feel like he would smile a bit then would deff say something that you would like blush like crazy at

Would deff walk over to you and kiss you

Yall when i tell you this man would not be playin with his joke

Yall would be busy...and tired... For a while...

James Patrick March

"If i had to wait my entire life to experience your love, i would. for when im withered away i’d have experienced heaven before i’ve even reached it" (i didnt come up with this one or any other one jst wanted to say that)

You would have to use something poetic for him to truly understand idk i jst feel like he would mainly understand then

His heart (if it was still beating) would literally burst

Never wanted to kiss you more in his lifeeee (his life already ended) (damn im just clownin him mb i love him)

"oh my dear, *says the best poetic rizz ever to the point your jaw literally drops*"

Was deff waiting for an opportunity to use that poem/ poetic rizz on you

Kai Anderson

HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH NONSENSE?!

HOW DID YOU EVEN THINK TO DISRESPECT HIM LIKE THAT

Literally thrown down the basement stairs

Winter has to probably try and save you from him or after hes done slapping you across the face she comforts you

Get with winter

Shes the one for all of us tbh

Or he would probably "punish you" by fucking you really rough or something

Yeah just get with winter

Peter Maximoff

"damn you're fast. Are you my heart? cs its going as fast as you"

Deff a blush would come onto his face

Would say something cocky

"wanna see how fast i can go doing something...else?"

Literally the king of dirty jokes everyday and all day

You would end up blushing and yall would deff uh...be busy after that..

Also i didnt make any of these pick up lines sooo😭

[mega-punani]

You just dropped a ton of really interesting AUs and my lil ol' heart can't take it!! Please tell us more? OwO Maybe how the Mafia skellies in the one where you saved goopy old man gaster first react to meeting y/n?

AWWWW YEAHHHH. I kinda got a rough idea of what meeting everyone would look like?

First contact(?):

You had just saved this goopy man from being turned into road kill, and now, you are sitting in his giant mansion. As one does, of course.

You could feel your hands tremble slightly as you picked up the expensive tea cup. Sitting across from you is the same old gentleman that you have so graciously saved, sipping on the tea as relaxed as he could be.

It's not that you regret saving him. It's just that you regret talking to him afterward. He had invited you to his home, offering to make you a meal, and you, thinking he was some wholesome grandpa, followed along happily. And now, you were in the home of the infamous Don Gaster.

You could feel your lifespan get shorter as his sons start walking into the room and seating themselves across from you...

Sans: "Who's da kid?"

Sans being the information man that he is, knows you perfectly well. (Y/N)(L/N), the waiter at the diner that's always runnin around taking orders in his side of Ebott city. You are always seen with disheveled hair and a stained apron tiredly walking to and from work. He had seen you around a couple of times, even thought of hiring you as an informant, but,,, he wouldn't want a cute doll like you to get tussle.

Papyrus: "POOR HUMAN! FATHER LEAVE THE THEM OUT OF THIS MESS."

Papyrus has a very strict "no bystanders policy." If you are innocent, in the wrong place in the wrong time, or just pulled in by his brothers, Papyrus will not hurt you. In this case, a poor human has done them an immense favor by saving their father. And instead of just giving you some money and sending you on your way, Gaster is practically keeping you hostage! All he could feel is pity for the cute, little human.

Blue: "MWEH HEH! WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?"

Blue is excited as high hell. A competition with his brothers? There was no way he was going to miss that. But of course, it all comes to halt when his father mentions them becoming a spouse. HWAT? HE'S NOT PREPARED TO GET MARRIED! THAT THOUGHT HADN'T EVEN ENTERED HIS SKULL!? But now that he took a good look at them, they were awfully charming. He wouldn't mind seeing them more often, of course, only if they would let him.

Stretch: "Heh, this is goin ta be a mess..."

Stretch can already foresee some future problems. Not only were his brothers incredibly competitive for the head honcho seat, now there's a terrified human in the mix. And buddy, Stretch did not like humans. There were so many of those racist fucks crawling around the city and he had seen way to many hate crimes taking a simple walk. But... you seemed alright.

Red: “Awwwww, lil’ sweethearts terrified!”

Red is having the time of his life. There was no way that his old man was giving up his entire legacy for some human. Right? When it finally sets in, he begins to take it a bit more seriously. No worries at all! He can totally woo this lil thang, no problem! He'll be your big, bad, prince charming.

Edge: "WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS THIS!?"

Edge has lived his life with professionalism. This was a whole new territory for him, and he did not like a single second of it. Sure, you're his type and sure, he would treat you like royalty if you were his spouse. BUT YOU WEREN'T! In fact, you were standing in his way...

Cinnamon: "Oh dear..."

Cinnamon has run into you before. You were coming out of work, he had assumed as you were quite a mess. You were extremely tired, so tired that you didn't even see him when. After crashing into him, you profusely apologized and handed him his cane, unfazed by his rather fearsome appearance. He liked that polite smile you gave him then rather than that fearful look you have now.

Bear: "..."

Bear remembered faintly. You were the one his brother was (secretly) excited about. You didn't look all that impressive... You did look quite cute. He wondered what your reaction to him would be.

[laslow]

A-One and A-Two

stater for: @soleilios

"Indulge your dear ol' dad for an afternoon!" Laslow sighs, leading Soleil along the snow covered-pathway. It glistens in the weak midday sunlight, and for a moment, he pretends they're in Ferox, enjoying a day together like any other parent and their child. There was no time apart, no leaving her as a baby only to return and find a grown woman in her place.

He sniffs once. Despite her claims that she considers the circumstances of her childhood water under the bridge, his own guilt stubbornly remains.

Time has always been his greatest enemy. There's never enough of it with those he loves; every interaction serving as a countdown until they part ways. He sniffs again, quickly swiping at his eyes. "Sun's bright today! But we're almost there," he reassures, tossing a grin Soleil's way.

If all they get are yet another handful of months together, Laslow will cling to every moment he can with all his strength. An arm brushed aside some overhanging branches, revealing a little clearing hidden among the trees. "Ta da! My--well, now our--very own secret practice spot!"

Some of his childish energy returns the further he steps into the familiar space. A flock of birds leap from nearby trees in a flurry of wings and feathers. "Alright!" He claps his hands, eyes alight. "Stretches first. You've still been keeping up with those at least, yes?"

[dolce-tenebra-toscana]

Happy 2023 my sweet lil red velvet cupcakes!!

I hope this is gonna be a wonderful start for each one of us, full of adventures and surprises 🩷

Here's how i think La Squadra would help me with my 2023 resolutions, cause boy do i need help reaching my goals ( i unluckily have the attention span of a chicken nugget)

Risotto ✂️: The Capo would help me be more organised and learn how to deal with situations without letting my emotional side get the best of me. I imagine the both of us sitting on my bed: my lilac agenda open, glitter markers, heart shaped notepads and my dog napping on her fave blanket next to us. He would tell me something like " Carusina mia(my little girl ) listen, now it's time for you to focus and find your place in this world ok? Don't EVER let anybody define your worth, cause it's your own doin that define how others percieve you. Always analyze the situation, and never let them get into your head. You can do this ok?"

Formaggio 🧀: He would help me eat more healthy and try new recipes, i always headcanoned him as a good cook so having dear ol Maggio as my " chef assistant " would totally be a dream. The both of us are in the kitchen with my new cooking book, aprons on, reading and commenting the recipies that we see. Formaggio would then stop and point at one page, smirking in his usual way and say " AHA GOT IT!! We totally have to cook this one, look at the ingredients!! It's perfect: it has veggies, carbs, the right amount of protein and is spicy just how you like it! Trust me Dolcezza ( sweetheart) once you start to eat properly AND stop skipping meals * he pinches my cheeks with affection * you'll feel so much better! That doesn't mean you have to stop baking of course, i still want to come here for " Torta Tuesday " ahah"

Illuso 🔎: Now Illuso would help in his own a**hole way, being the primadonna he usually is. He would passive aggressively help me stick to a self care routine daily: coming out of mirrors telling me to dress properly, to do face masks twice a week and of course...he would nag me into taking care of my hair ( i have big and long curls, they are a nightmare to take care of). He would sit me in front of my mirror, take out all his hair care supplies and start combing the mess i have on my head with an annoyed look " Tsk, and you call this hair? I've seen mops and brooms prettier than this bird nest you got. I mean, look at these curls!! They are so dehaydrated and tangled!! Listen, and no one has to know, tomorrow me and you are going to check your wardrobe, do something for these pimples and eyebags you have and i'll teach you some makeup tips Va bin (got it) ? Let's see if we can transform this ugly duckling in just a duckling...What? We gotta start somewhere missy!!"

Melone 🍈: Melly kelly, my beloved tuscan companion, he would help me study and write my thesis. He would come up with the right method to keep my focus, write notes, get me cups of ginseng ( he remembers that i hate coffee bless him) But most importantly he would help me keeping contact with my friends and family " Cittina miaaaa~ (it translate to girl, but in this case is more like bestie) did you remember to call your granparents today?? You know they worry if they don't hear from you at least once a week! Now, we study a couple more pages and then you plan that videocall with your german friends ok? GNAM GNAMO NINI, S'HA DA LAVORARE NOI!" ( let's go let's go, we have work to do) then he would playfully smack my butt in the process lmao

Ghiaccio 🧊: One word: fitness. Ghiaccio would help me get in shape and live a more healthy lifestyle in general. He would yell at me whenever he sees me lay on the couch doin nothing, wake me up early to go for a run, get me protein shakes to help me build muscles... i can see him drag me to the local gym, throw me a towel, a bottle of water and start " encouraging " me while i do push ups " C'MON TOSA (another way to say girl)!! ONE MORE CAZZO, ONE MORE!! IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?! I THINK THE F*CK NOT!! C'MON I WANT 20 MORE OF THESE, WE ARE NOT FINISHED TILL I SEE YOUR ARMS GIVE UP! SPINGI DIOC*ANE SPINGIIIIIIII!!! " He would then proceed to roughly massage my shoulders and give me hard pats on the back, it's his way to say that he's proud and i appreciate it ahah.

Pesci 🐟: Pesci would help me cultivate my hobbies and take breaks in a more productive way. I can see the both of us going for walks to feed the swans and duck at the park in my hometown, crocheting a keychain for my best friend, watch a new documentary together and...just talk tbh. Pesci would get us a cup of tea, blankets and then put my favourite show on tv " Zia ( sis ) this tea is amazing, you should totally try it! Also the new episode of " victorian lifestyle " just dropped, wanna watch it together? If you want we can call the others too and have a slumber party! Wait a sec * clears his throat* UAGLIÒ' VENN ACCÀ!! CI GUARDIAM U DOCUMENTARIO TUTT 'NSIEME AH!" ( guys get down here, we are gonna watch a documentary together)

Prosciutto 🍖: Ok here i'm simping VERY HARD (and imagining also my Vento aureo OC in this post cause yes. She deserves to be spoiled just like me ahah) Prosciutto would totally help me with my goal of learning something new every week. I think he's one of the most cultured in La Squadra so he would take me to museums, visit new towns, art galleries, maybe also go to a wine tasting events and concerts...but he also demands that I show up all dolled up just for him, so he can make me blush everytime and enjoy the effect he has on me...i think his favourite activity to do together is to go to Firenze at Uffizi Museum and just look at the paintings, his arm around my waist while we comment on the masterpieces hang on the walls " don't you think Botticelli was a genious? His idea of the beauty in general really matches my taste you know..He painted of beautiful, soft women and you know how much i like curves..* smirks * What's the matter? Did i really make you blush bambina mia~ (my baby girl) C'mon let's move to the next room, i think we are close to Caravaggio's.."

[corvidsart]

tigerboy son , bramblebimby

lighter colors than dear ole da bc goldenflower genes

[therealnuclearplatypus]

this is a belated wedding gift for @shittygaypornmagazinedotcom and a mwa to @petulant-poet

gay 😩💅

may i present ...

You're My Work Of Art.

sometime in the late renaissance

The paintbrush glided across the canvas with practised ease. He had his lower lip between his teeth, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. A masterpiece was in the making. He could feel it.

Across from him, a young man sat on a stool, as still as he could be. He watched the young painter do what he did best, and smiled to himself. Leo was always asking to paint him. Frank was always the model. No one else. Never anyone else.

Leo sat back, his features easing into a grin. "You know that painting by Leonardo? Of Jesus?"

Frank snorted. "Is there only one?"

"Well. He always painted him on the model of his lover. The figure of Jesus we worship is actually da Vinci's lover. Am I not doing the same?"

"Are you comparing yourself to da Vinci himself, love?" Frank chuckled.

"Let me dream, fool." Leo shot him a cheeky glance. "You know. We get on our knees to pray to the Lord. I bet ol' Leonardo got on his knees for his Jesus, too."

"Leo!" Frank admonished, barely holding in a laugh. Leo could see the suppressed laughter and smiled to himself.

"Stay still. I'm almost finished," Leo ordered, and Frank obeyed. Some time later, Frank was free to go. He stayed to watch Leo perfect his latest artwork. Frank thought he always made him look much handsomer than he truly was.

"The painting is prettier than me," he complained.

"On the contrary," Leo countered, "not even the finest artist can do you justice, my dear."

Frank blushed. Only Leo knew how to make him do that.

As Leo finished up, Frank went to get himself a drink. He sipped it slowly, watching the love of his life hum a lively tune and smile to himself as he touched up what was bound to be a true masterpiece. Leo was really talented.

He went to sit by him, head on the painter's shoulder.

"Why do you only ever draw me?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"Because," Leo said, still focused on the canvas, "I appreciate beautiful things, and wish to paint them. I see a rainbow and paint it. I see a sunset and paint it. And you. You are the most beautiful thing in creation. You are worth more than any of the paintings I make of you trying to capture your loveliness."

Frank blushed again. "Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Being so poetic. I'm the poet. Stop stealing my expertise."

Leo turned to him and laughed. "Ah, right. Spin a tale for me, then. Weave me an intricacy of words while I work."

"That was an alliteration," Frank told him.

"And I told you to write me a poem. Or, scratch that. Say it aloud now. I love your voice. Make something up now."

Frank kissed his curly hair and tried to think. "Summer nights and summer days/pass me by in a haze,/but you part the mists of woe and sorrow/and make me feel like I have a tomorrow."

Leo smiled softly and kept painting.

Frank continued: "Then let me spend those days with you/summer days in skies of blue,/and let the nights live long and loud/'til winter comes in a hateful cloud."

Frank hugged Leo from behind and kissed his hair again. "But I need not fear the cold snow's ire/for with you the ice melts in raging fire/and we'll be safe in our little den/until the summer comes again."

"Beautiful," Leo whispered, eyes shining. "That was beautiful. And so are you. I love you so much."

"I love you too, my darling," Frank whispered back. "I love you too."

[wilfywarfy]

Egotober/Fictober Day 3

I HAVE TO PARTICIPATE. I CAN'T JUST LET THESE FICS PASS ME BY!!!

Today's prompt: Ink

Warnings: Nothing really. Just fluff. Gay people. The usual. Yanceford deserves fluff.

"What'd you say?"

"I asked if I could draw on you!"

Wilford said it so casually that Yancy wonders if he heard him correctly. Why would Wil want to draw on him?

"Uh, sweetheart, can I ask why?"

"Oh, well, I figured since you already have tattoos, that I'd give you one of my own. Not that yours aren't lovely, because they are. And I also got this new pack of pens that have the scent on them, and I think they'd be really cool. You wouldn't even have to keep it either, I can magic it right off-"

"Hon, take a breath."

Right, breathing. Wilford deeply inhaled and exhaled, refilling his lungs with much needed air.

"I just thought it would be pretty..." He mumbled, fidgeting with the colorful pack of scented pens .

Yancy had an impossibly soft look in his eyes. As big and grand as he could be, Wil could still be so shy.

"Oh, baby, how could I say no to you?" He couldn't. "Doodle away, sweetheart, I'm all yours."

Wilfords eyes lit up, and he lunged towards his lover, placing a big ol' smooch on his lips. "Oh, thank you!"

Yancy smiled into the kiss, and a chuckle came out of his throat. "Of course, baby."

Wil opened the pack of pens, and started to decide what color he was gonna use first. "Let's see... Won't show up... Too light... Too dark... Ah!"

He pulled a light blue out of the pack, and popped the cap right off, taking a whiff of the scented ink. Blue raspberry.

"Stay still. This won't hurt, but I don't want to ruin this."

"Sure thing, baby."

He was extra concentrated on the drawing. Of course he wasn't completely serious. He was using smelly pens after all, of course he'd enjoy the scents they came with. And he couldn't stop himself from giving his partner a few good kisses. But other than that, he was focused on making sure the piece was perfect.

---

"And... Ta-da! Finished!"

The end result was... Interesting to say the least.

It wasn't horrible in the slightest, actually. It was rather good. Colorful. Cartoony. Overall... It was Wilford.

"Damn, Sweetheart... This ain't half bad! Like the colors!"

"Oh, it's nothing. I have you to think for being such a good canvas, my dear."

"Nah, this is all you, baby. And you did great."

[sgiandubh]

Hola, gracias por tus post sensatos y divertidos. Comencé a ver OL en pandemia y llegué hasta aquí no hace mucho. Veo escrito de todo, cosas divertidas y cosas insanas...No importa, hay gente malvada en todas partes y tu eres sensata y educada. Gracias de nuevo. Ah! Creo que el duo protagonista de OL está junto desde hace mucho, veo fotos, no soy ciega. Y me da igual si tienen uno, dos o cinco niños. La pareja me encanta. Esto no es más que diversión, cierto? Y que sean felices. Gracias de nuevo. Besos.

Dear Hispanic Newbie Anon,

Como miembro honorario de la Mafia Shipper Hispana, déjame darte la bienvenida al rincón más soleado y ingenioso de este terrible fandom. Espero que te diviertas al menos tanto como nosotras y siempre eres bienvenida para enviarme tus pensamientos. Estoy muy, muy agradecida por tus amables palabras – ¡gracias!

And now, for the translation of your comment, which might bring some solace to our weariest sisters:

Hello and thank you for your no nonsense and fun posts. I started to watch OL during the pandemic and I just arrived in here. I see many things being written in here, some of them are funny and others are insane...But it doesn't matter, there are bad people just about everywhere and you sound sensible and educated. Thank you again. Ah! And I think the leads have been together for a long while: I see those pictures and I am not blind. And I don't really care if they have one, two or five children. I just love this couple and all this is supposed to be fun, isn't it? And I wish them well. Thank you again. Bye!

Oh, querida Anon - but they are very much a couple! And you are right: many of us think they've been juntos ever since the chemistry test. Despite just about anything you could possibly imagine... and then some more.

May I recommend some wonderful Hispanic Shippers you could read on the regular, in no particular order because they are all people I deeply care about? @bat-cat-reader, who is the pillar of this fandom and simply a spectacular human being, @cajon-desastre - a delicate, witty and discreet powerhouse, @malu1997 and @claraisabelcampohermoso - two of our best sleuths and generous human beings, the amazing @irunfraser and also @luckydogsgroove, whom I believe to be made only of love, @yacheshy - ironic extraordinaire and so, so many more. And then you have the Portuguese & Brazilian Gang - Mordor, beware, that is a juggernaut! And the Anglo-Saxon behemoth. The acid and witty French. The cut through all that crap Australians. And of course, we - those Eastern Europeans some people say never smile (that is a pious lie!). And if I forgot anybody, please slap me.

You will also read many, many different opinions about the number of children they have. It is not something I chose to discuss, but I am happy for them and so is everyone in here. Because love always finds a way: I happen to know it for sure.

[naturecalla]

if rhia and ans had a kid <3 the ginger and silver genes fighting for their lives

Name: Rafe. Gender Sex: Male. Hair Color: Red, but a deeper red than his mother's. Wears it long in his youth but ends up cropping it when he's older. As an adult, he likes to grow out his facial hair, particularly when the seasons grow harsher and colder. Enjoys decorating his beard with braids and beads. He's a bit vain when it comes to his hair, in general! Eye Color: A striking silver, just like dear ol' dad's. Skin Tone: Pale with cool undertones; freckles adorn the bridge of his nose... and in other places as well. Heh. He has a (salmon patch) birthmark on the back of his neck he's a bit insecure about, especially while he's younger. Body Type: Inverted tringle (dorito!). Large shoulders, narrower hips. Muscular without being TOO bulky, but he appears to be someone who engages in regular exercise and physical activity. Personality: Rafe has a good mix of his parents in him. While he can be wild, impetuous, and hot-tempered like Rhiannon, he can be surprisingly dutiful and serious when need be. He takes whatever responsibility falls onto his shoulders solemnly. He is also a bit of a prankster! He enjoys having fun. Special Talents: Dual-weapon specialist in DA HOUSE!! He's more warrior than rogue. He's exceptionally good with animals. especially dogs. He has an excellent singing voice, as well. Who they like better: That's tough! Rafe loves both his mother and father deeply, but he's a bit of a mama's boy, truth be told. Who they take after more: I'd say his mother, even though I think he's a good blend of both Rhiannon and Ansgar, in general. Personal Head canon: Rafe was born with very fine, light blond hair, but turned ginger when he was about a year old or so. It turned a deeper red around five or six. Face Claim: None? LOL. I'll probably find one at some point.

[laugardagur]

dear ol da

[ultimatecutenesspeaks]

King frost I’m really sorry about that it was because of was so busy with me being a monarch soon having a keeper I’m was so busy that it completely slip trough’s my mind I’m really sorry honey ho say with a sweat drop on his da s

*The queen just sighs and shakes her head in response.*

Queen Frost: Well, that's definitely something we needed to know, dear. But thank you for telling us now. Goodness, you just never change, do you?

*Prince Frost chuckles and shakes his head at his dad's silliness.*

Prince Frost: Yep, same ol' dad. But hey, why don't you two come meet our Keepers?