#DECISIONS................. to have one dope name. or to keep the consistent naming themes.....

[spearxwind]

ough i really want to name like, a location in one of my headworlds after Nidavellir cause its literally such a dope name fr

[snkret-photography]

Back to Me

Most people know that I follow an abridged variation of a Paleolithic/Ketogenic diet. It makes me feel the most optimal and reduces a lot of my inflammation and hormonal imbalances. Also I’ve never really been a big carb or grain persons so it was an easy transition mentally. This has just been what has worked for me to feel optimal. When I was younger, I ate whatever I wanted, when I wanted and proceeded to exercise like I was getting paid for it. I don’t have that time or energy anymore so my current lifestyle is well supported by my diet. And while I have a general label for how I eat so other people can easily digest it, I don’t particularly care to label it. I try to keep things paleo but Quest Bars are my crack, literally candy bars. I get one life and even if I reincarnate, the experiences in that lifetime won’t solidify my satisfaction in this one. So I still eat what I want, when I want but instead of focusing on the immediate satisfaction that it gives me, I focus on the long term gratification I can derive while still making sure I don’t feel deprived. It works for me and that’s all I worry about.

Recently, I started a new job, I’ll probably talk about that more in depth at some point, but it’s a very youthful workforce and the company operates in the ad tech space. Which means everyone is aware of diets based on the loose depictions they can find on Instagram; legit, no shade. I’ve been on my food protocol for about 2 years and over the past year have cut down to eating once a day, which I just prefer to be freshly made at home right before bed. This translates to me surviving the work day on coffee and water alone. Which translates to everyone having an opinion on their lack of willpower communicated through copious questions and declarations I’d rather not entertain. Like I said, it’s a new job. But whenever I glaze over the details of how I choose to eat, people immediately start throwing out buzzwords as if I remembered the definition and not the word itself. This is usually followed up with some variation of:

“They say that is/is not good for you because some bullshit study somewhere in some bullshit magazine somewhere else.”

I follow an eating protocol that works for me, my goals, and my overall health from both an internal feeling perspective and careful attention to medical markers. Added fact that I love biology which means I actually look at the basis of science studies to look at their original reasoning for deriving a hypothesis, the control of the study, who backed it, and the subsequent reporting along with the counter arguments. I.e. I look at the big picture and not just what “they say” as a basis for how I live my life and make decisions. How I eat works for me but it may not work for everyone else. I do a lot of people’s diet plans and I almost always start out with a list of carbs to intake. Just because I limit the type and amount of carbs I eat, doesn’t mean that everyone else would benefit from such. I may be an accountant but I am not a copy/paste formula. And “they” don’t know everything. Just because some people have made buckets of what Is and is not healthy does not mean that it is 100% accurate. They haven’t studied you and your bodies reaction to the blanket list that they’ve decided to impart on the public. And the public, being the public, has a low tolerance for research and assuming their own opinions; we all love when some stranger says something on the internet super convincingly and have broken it down in a manner in which we can regurgitate without much reference for what is actually said.

This isn’t a conversation about diets. And I’m no better for the flaw in which I’m pointing out. We all go to pseudo-authorities to help make formalized decisions for us on both short-term and long-term decisions. From what to eat, to figuring out our careers, choosing partners, relaxation methods, methods for creating happiness in our lives, and so much more. Consultation is one of the most common things we all do and we always tend to consult, directly or in-directly, those in which we believe have a stronger foundation in the topic than we do. You want career advice, you consult someone who has a career length or position in which you desire to. You want fitness or dieting advice, you consult the trainer or dietitian. More commonly you follow the person who competes on Instagram or ask your friend who’s always been skinny/buff, depending on your goals. You want to know how to navigate your relationship, you ask people who have relationships in which you aspire to. At least, in theory this is the manner in which people go about things. Everyone consults based on their immediate circle and the manners in which they trust other to help them navigate their problems. I don’t believe in monogamy, yet all of my friends in relationships consult me on how to secure their relationships and improve the quality of because they’re aware I'm going to advise them based on the value of our friendship and not my personal views on the matter. I know trainers that constantly tell their clients that to achieve their results, it require discipline and consistency yet their clients chief question, paraphrasing, is what they can buy to achieve that. So they in turn sell them accountability until the person can gain that for themselves and routines that are built around the person’s goals. At my gym there is a trainer who I’ve seen float the exact same workout to both men and women trying to achieve completely different goals, only changing the duration, intensity and repetition of the workout. That is so not how it works but that is how a lot of people work. “This worked for me or I have found x so it should work for you and anyone else who asks.”

This theme of listening to the “they” hit a real head recently. I greatly enjoy the role of devil’s advocate. No particular reason, it brings me joy and that’s all that matters. So going with the current is rather easy but personally, infuriating. I would go online to browse random sub-reddits and a bunch of jack-offs behind their keyboard were operating on a full level of knowledge, confidence and rudeness you could tell was in-organic. I would entertain a public discord on some newsworthy topic and was subsequently met with opinions that nobody could concretely defend. And all that diet shit I mentioned earlier. So when it was time to decide my next project, I didn’t even want to do one. I looked back on my recent projects and then broadened that to my entire works over the past year from the creation of this website to side projects I had picked up and was entirely confused. I had no idea what I didn’t like about everything as a package nor that impressed by individual projects. Even my posts were bugging me. So far from the course in which I originally set. And somewhere in reflecting on why people found it so appropriate to consult me on my own practices from an outside party in which neither of us ever regarded personally, something clicked. It’s been a very inauthentic experience. Sure I have some projects here that I absolutely adore. Yes, I have gotten to do something I love, work with people in the manner I desire, and develop my skills in a manner I never really thought I could before. Of course this has been a cathartic outlet with great growth and has had a visibly positive impact both in my and other’s lives. It has also just made me grow closer with a lot of people by opening up the realm of conversation. It’s dope. But something still wasn’t clicking. My writing was getting weaker and almost always derived from an emotional perspective. I kept trying to change my website and Instagram layout but could never figure out how to keep it in the manner I developed it. Photo-shoots had more to do with getting content out or making a quick buck on the side rather than developing an idea and creating a story from it.

I had developed a business and parts of my life on the advice and consultation of people who have no actual basis of authority. And doing things strictly to impress others or at the console of something others have an opinion on yet no tangible marker of authority is dissatisfying to say the least. I don’t like social media almost strictly based on not giving a fuck about the facade that people put on to have these amazing lives they don’t nor entertain the countless opinions of people who can’t keep that same energy. I originally designed my website in the taste of my ex-boyfriend who had never designed anything for public consumption or really taken any action on anything. Adjusting concepts and final visions on the advice of a person who just on-looks but doesn’t operate. Then I look at the approach I developed in writing to be more open in my communication about my emotions and life at the advice of all my friends who like to act like they have none, self explanatory why I should have not listened. Broaden the pattern, I had an abysmal living arrangement on the advice of people who suggested the money saved would be best long-term. In short, a bunch of opinions from people who have nothing to lose in the outcome. And it all just settled. I couldn’t take much pride in things when the outcome was based more on the advice of non-active participants than myself. Which was my own fault. I can consult the world but I don’t have to take the world’s advice. It was something I’ve always known and implemented in my life yet neglected in my business. Putting off projects because my consultants didn’t particularly like the idea or get it. Wondering if I needed to go back to the drawing board or if I wasn’t communicating it properly. But it’s not their project. They’re not putting their name on it and quite frankly, if they don’t like it then that is a miss for them. But if I put out a project I’m not invested in, then that is a lost for me that I will always have my name attached to.

So now, on the anniversary of my dive back into photography and writing, I’m going back to the original ideas. I will do things that I want to move in the direction I want. I will consult authorities and opinions alike but will make note of the differences and be sure I’m still just as invested at every step. There is no worse feeling than to have to live according to someone else’s version of happiness, success, and achievement. The manner in which other people live and operate are mere matters of comparison to derive what parts we identify with and which parts we don’t, constructing the best possible experience for ourselves. And I want to bring people the best that I have. I love what I’ve put out over this past year because no matter how good or bad something may be technically, personally, anecdotally, I have a record in which to document my growth. But what is the point of a goal if it is not consistently refined as you achieve it? So when I set out on the first year, I had a lot of goals with a lot of people who are no longer here. Now I have some goals for myself and at the forefront of them, and in the words of Megan Thee Stallion: What The Fuck I Want, When The Fuck I Want!

*And I’m still at the mall with your motherfuckin’ daddy, eh

[portlandpublictacolove]

Happy life, health and love fellow taco heads, welcome to another professional posting of Portland Public Taco. Last week one of my homies declared his potential to jump on the taco band wagon if grass fed meat was offered. Luckily, the truth is out there!  Portland is home to a number of taqueria’s who serve meat that is sustainably raised.  Lucky number one on my list, Stella Taco. Located on the corner of NE Alberta and 30th, right across from  Alberta Rose theater. 

I categorize Stella Taco as a Gentueria, (check post one for various taqueria descriptions) also it is inspired in a Tex-Mex tradition.  Before I go any further I must speak to the recent “Burrito Gate” inquiries happening in Portland.  I can see both sides of the argument that have been stated over the past week.  My post is simply not associated with this current conflict.  Therefore, if you’re looking for drama go find yo’ mama.  A categorization of  Gentueria simply informs my audience of a few simple facts.  For example, Gentueria is an establishment in an area that has been “renewed" in the past 15 years or so. Further, the establishment most times, but not always, lacks diverse ethnic patrons besides their staff.  Prices are a bit more, but I’ve said before I’m willing to pay a bit more for food that is fair trade and sustainable from farm to table.  

Tacos  🌮🌮🌮🌮out of🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮

It is difficult to find a flaw in the tacos at Stella Taco. Their corn tortilla are hand pressed locally, flour tortillas (following a tex-mex tradition?) are pressed in house, and all protein besides chicken are local and free range (sourced from employee). I chose one Brisket taco, and a veggie taco. The brisket, which earned itself a solo photo shoot is absolutely delicious. Tender beef brisket, phenomenal pickled onions and cilantro. Each ingredient aesthetically pleasing to my hungry eyes, was perfectly plattered on a corn tortilla security blanket. My only complaint might be the shear size of the taco. It’s important to remember the given name “street taco,” suggest that one could pick this up on the go, and not worry about a mess of rogue ingredients attacking your clothes. Otherwise the meat was succulent, and pickled onions positively impacted my experience. My veggie taco consisted of hand battered crispy avocado, a house slaw, vegan ranch dressing for all you mid-westerners and finely grated cotija.  I could pass on the vegan ranch and the grated cotija, but that my personal preference.  Never the less the battered avocado street taco is an excellent choice especially if you are choosing to go herbivore. 

Dining 🌮🌮🌮🌮out of 🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮

When I made my visit on Tuesday afternoon it was kinda of dead at Stella Taco, however I’m sure that didn’t last for long since they have a pretty dope happy hour with adult beverages available.  Directive:  try one of Stella Tacos salted-rim Bloody Mary pints, I personally recommend it.  Depending on when you visit, you may be standing in a pretty decent line and finding it difficult to locate a spot for your touche.  There is a smaller bar along the window for single patrons, four tops line one window. In addition, the west wall is lined with a long booth on one side and chairs on the other.  Lastly, larger than counter height tables with booths for giants are pretty neat.  They are strategically placed in the middle of the taco zone.  After ordering at the counter you’ll receive a number and the launch codes for the nuclear football suitcase, ha!  Just joking, obviously, don’t take life so seriously, but their are a plethora of instructions facilitated.  Directions include what to do with distributed plastic number tab, how to be successful in the space and where water and salsa is located.  There was some old skool country western playing in the background, not really my thing, but it matched the theme well.  Personally message me for music recommendations, I have an excellent pallet for music.  Outdoor seating is available, but race for the chair, I’ve sat along the bench seating once, and was barely able to fit my legs under the table, and I’m average size 5″9′ 170lbs (Just in case a GQ editor is reading this blog).

Cost 🌮🌮🌮🌮 out of 🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮

I came during happy hour and paid an excellent $2 per taco satisfaction and pure enjoyment.  Otherwise you’re looking at an average price of $3 with a low end of $2.75 for street level tacos, and $4 for top self.  If I could give half  tacos I’d really award Stella Taco a 4.5.  Remember, depending on what you order, most ingredients here are thoughtfully prepared with humanity and justice in mind.  

Overall 🌮🌮🌮🌮out of 🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮 

Stella Taco is great, be choosy about when you attend, depending on your expectations and need of simplicity for nourishment.  I’d like to go back and try their breakfast tacos as well, but that will be after my taco hiatus.  Don’t let the gentueria classification stop you, matter of fact let that drive your decision to go. I’m a huge advocate of integrating our public spaces as much as possible.  One reformation I would recommend is a discontinuation of plastic ramekins.  As a society we MUST get over this normalcy of disposable materials being available to society as a necessity.  I only say this since Stella Taco has the chance to be a leader in this transition.  

Otherwise I’m taking a few weeks off of the taco tour, this tacologist has to keep up his hot body for wife, kids and myself.  Therefore you're on your own over the next two weeks, don’t blunder and end up at Taco Bell!  ~Portland Public Taco