#DOLL$BOXX

[arklayraven]

Finally checking DOLL$BOXX out and OMG...I'M IN LOVE. ALSO HANA WHO'S THE DRUMMER. SO PRETTY AND SO AMAZING WITH THOSE VOCALS! NEED TO FIND MORE OF HER. 💕💕💕

[beauthief]

Haru is absolutely a Babymetal fan

[jtl07]

What have I done?!? 🥁🎸🎹 This is so, so cool! You wrote the audition like i mini-fic 🤩 Drabble? I don’t know, it was very cool, thank you 👏🏼 And Mary’s comment when she was adjusting the chair, hahaha. Loved the idea with neon colors, what a cool concept 🎨 Who’s the singer of this band? And how would Ava know of their music? Has she seen them live, or is their music out? Maybe it could be combined with your earlier thoughts? That Ava worked in a bar they played, and that’s how she found out about them (and Bea). Does the band have a name? And/or will it change/develop when Ava joins? Thank for taking my questions seriously, this is so much fun 😘

anon oh no, oh no now we're getting into the details aren't we. i'm torn between the band being primarily instrumental (akin to Polyphia) and having guest vocalists every now and then, vs having some hella strong vocalist - i'm thinking like Fuki from Doll$Boxx or omg what if someone like Tatiana Shmayluk from Jinjer?!? yoooo that would be intense. if the latter, then Lilith would be a terrifying analogue oh geez.

okay yknow what, i'm leaning towards instrumental first with guest vocals because i kinda like the idea of them working with different vocalists occasionally, which would be kinda like canon what with how their "front man" / halo bearer changes. but also like, that puts more pressure on each instrument to be on their game (which Beatrice impresses upon Ava when they have their two-day bootcamp).

as for how Ava first heard of them (aside: anon I am the absolute worst at naming things, their band's name is just going to be "the band" for the forseeable future lolol) maybe she happened upon their music online or heard about them somehow - someone playing a cover, someone mentioning them in passing, or maybe someone watching a video on their phone and Ava happens to see - oh that would be amusing if it was JC, yeah, lol okay, maybe JC's also a musician and someone sent him a video of their band but he's not really paying attention to it because it's not his vibe but Ava is enthralled. she goes home, looks up all their stuff, immediately starts playing along and it's difficult and brilliant and it pushes her to the limits of her skill level but she still has the utmost fun and it pushes her to keep learning. she becomes a fan but while she's eaten up every video and interview she could find about them (perhaps she happened upon one of those explainer videos that Beatrice did lol) she hasn't had the chance to see them live because they'd been on hiatus - hence why Beatrice (and Mary though she tries not to show it) are stressed about the upcoming gig, because while it's a small one, it is important to them since it's their first one in a long time.

oh and maybe also they're debuting new music for the first time in a long time at that gig - and maybe, after Ava's proven herself to Mary, they work through the song with Ava and Ava is able to play it perfectly, but then maybe during a break or something she's playing along to the track - not exactly practicing but like casually playing like she does at home alone whenever she listens to their songs, adding stuff here and there - and maybe Mary and Beatrice come back from break early and hear her and Beatrice looks at Mary and is like, "I'll make sure she keeps to what we've written" but Mary forestalls her, steps into the room fully, which catches Ava's attention, who abruptly stops playing and somehow manages to stop the track too without falling over.

"hey boss," Ava says, twirling the drumsticks between her fingers nervously. "that was a uh quick walk."

Mary's face is unreadable still, and she rewinds the track a bit. "do that fill again."

Ava blinks and Mary gives her a look that's like, 'do not make me repeat myself' and Ava scrambles to remember what she did and fumbles.

Mary shakes her head. "no, you did it differently last time." she kinda beatboxes what she remembers and Ava's like, "oh yeah" and repeats it correctly this time and Mary's taking up her bass and is muttering to herself about voicing things differently to match and Beatrice is like, "you want to change it? the performance is the day after tomorrow" and Ava's like, "hey I was just messing around" but Mary looks Ava straight in the eye and says, "it's a good idea. let's use it." then she looks at Beatrice and raises an eyebrow. "two days is more than enough time, right?"

and Beatrice kinda helplessly laughs because of course Mary would get caught up in this, in this energy Ava's brought with her - it's the renewal they've needed; Ava's exactly what they've been looking for.

[pink-spikes]

Mikoto Second Trial: Mannequin Dolls Meaning

Something interesting about his second trial is that Mikoto has multiple mannequin dolls throughout the video showing his murder.

He hits through the middle on one of them

Then he beats up the side of a head of a doll that wasn’t before.

Then here he swings up and doll parts fly

This might mean he had multiple victims because the mannequins are used to show passerbys in the subway. He’s not beating up the same doll but different dolls everytime.

@1moremilgram-enjoyer mentioned in this post that Mikoto has two different ways of swinging the bat into his victim(s) with switching from the right-hand way of swinging then going to his left. This, on top of the different directions of the swings to the head with new dolls, it supports the idea he could have multiple victims. (Though other Milgram characters are shown to be using both hands interchangeably so keep that in mind)

In the first trial his victim isn’t shown wearing a hat but Mikoto throws one away along with the trash bag that is probably the body of a victim. This can also be used as support to the idea he had multiple victims.

———

The mannequin dolls also represent his job/art career

It has been stated that Mikoto has/is going to an arts university.

The specific mannequin dolls shown are the ones that are used for sketching/drawing as a reference and not the ones used for clothes and sewing.

And here’s this:

It’s interesting how he went to college for art/fashion designing and now he works at an Advertisement company.

He is clearly being overworked at his job. In the subway it’s dark showing it’s nighttime and in his first trial he is shown coming to work late.

@boxx-sama posted this translation:

he is out under a lot of pressure to keep up with his job’s demands.

I just thought it was cool the mannequins have double meaning that they represent his victims and his work at the same time

[secondchoice-ragdoll]

im so sorry i had an ask abt what my fav T&K moments are but i deleted the draft and the ask dissapeared too... soooooo... not doing that ever again! thats okay.

i am fond of all the eras (which in my head are 1. them being on DR, 2. right after DR, 3. the 2 ssns of AS they were on (or at least Ks ssn), 4. leading up to the breaking point, 5. the "fallout", 6. reconnecting, 7. up until covid, 8. beginning of the lockdown, 9. leading up to their tour, 10. during tour, 11. after tour until the breakup(?), 12. and now idk whats going on again but we will be smarter looking back on this time in the future) for their own special weird whatevers that they had going on. but here r my fav ones:

1.

- T picking K despite her not really contributing to her team doing well again.

- the one moment i made my header bc its very cutesy.

- K being sooo offended abt T being eliminated both on DR and after in her yt series.

2.

- those interview(?) bits where they both say they'd kaikai w each other from their season.

- besties for cash.

- also their twitter posts from this timeperiod thirsting over eachother!??!?! (+ T on reddit).

3.

- the Pandora Boxx interview w them from maybe 2016 (its still up on fb!) (atp K being on AS2 was already announced ig?)

4.

- K getting those dolls from Andrew for T (no matter how cursed they may or may not be).

- T&Ks HS reunion (them twirling around together☹)

6.

- the anecdote of them going on a hike where T says she forgives K and K's gratefulness for it.

8.

- honestly my all time fav comfort thing(s) they ever did were the pods that barely had video to them yet and were filmed at like Ts place or in hotelrooms on the floor. like. the vibes were immaculate and no matter what is going on that bunch of episodes just bring inner peace to me. forever grateful for them <33

9.

- anytime they talk abt eachother to random ppl basically unprompted (see: K's Pearl makeover, T on the latest PitStops, T on her own channel to guests) ((its just so casual and domestic)).

- i think timeperiod-vise Ks fakeout of a 40th bday party falls here. and the fact that T dressed up like that... and that pic of them and Orville in the bathroom...

10.

- all of the little moments of the live tour. there was so much going on, it was very intense and oh god i miss it soooo much. i esp loved their days in germany (or europe in general). the hugging the touching the bloopers the breeding jokes!!! insanity.

- THE VIDEO OF THEM THANKING THE SUBSTACK FUNDERS(?) AT THAT BUSSTOP.

- all the stories of them being on the tourbus or even the day they had an accident w one vechicle and they said they were worried abt each other (i only dare to list it here bc nobody got hurt as far as i know) ((did this actually happen? i think they only talked abt it like once and that would be weird and out of character for them so maybe i imagined it?))

11.

- the pod they say how they'd stop whatever they were doing just to go help the other and how they love each other the most!!

- THE TAMMIE POD.

- T saying "she is my bitch" abt K backstage (its really just that she isnt usually posessive over K so vocally. and then she was. and i was like okay wow!).

- SHE IS GOD TO ME!!!!!!!

- T straddling K on the netflick couch numerous times.

+ all of the "waterloo"s and "time after time"s.

(+ T writing Soldier and Ghost on the moon and singing You can come around if u want to right after musing abt whether we also "have a friend who we r just like 'well u could have been the loml but we met under circumstances that made us only friends so whatever!'".)

[curlicuecal]

@whetstonefires tagged me in a post where the only prompt was "10 songs" so I have decided to shuffle my music app and list the first 10 songs that come up

1)Into the Unknown - Minor Key cover by Lydia the Bard (Elsa's Villain Song)

Minor key makes every song better, but especially a disney song

2) Wool Over Our Eyes - The Stupendium

I really love songs written about obscure games I've only watched let's plays of. this one's about a sheep cultist.

3) Would You Go With Me - Josh Turner

Look, I love a good country love song. "If I gave you my hand/ would you take it and make me/ the happiest man in the world"

4) Say My Name - Beetlejuice the Musical

love a musical, love some wordplay, love Lydia calmly kicking ass in this. only improved by an awesome & playful animatic

5) The Red Means I Love You - Madds Buckley.

My favorite story about this song is she posted it and all her religious relatives expressed Deep Concern about her mental health and she was just sitting there like 'it's an anime reference, it's about himiko from bnha, i don't actually want to murder people"

6) Kiss the Girl - Minor Key Cover - Chase Holfelder

Another minor key cover! Gosh i love them. This guy has a bunch of great stuff.

7) New Friends - Maty Noyes

The music video for this one is so creepy-fun, love it. Plus I'm just a sucker for clever visual symbolism & motif

8) Take My Chance - Doll$boxx

Another great music video. Wait for the beat to drop. :3

9) Resurrection by Breakbeat - Altered Beast - djbpretzel

I know nothing about the game(s?) this is remixed from I just love the music. For some reason I associate it in my head with Girl Genius. I feel like parts of this are what heterodyning would sound like.

10) Rule the World - Kamelot

High drama, heck yeah

----

annnnd 10 people, lessee: @theunvanquishedzims @rollerskatinglizard @fluffypinkjellyfish @heigraylake @spockandawe @dreamwaffles @asukaskerian @roachpatrol @mercurialmalcontent @juanpujolgarcia @ anybody else who wants to play

[theemeraldforestafterdark]

My top ten albums of the year 2023 list 8. Gacharic Spin - W This was my number #1 album until around September of 2023. Everything from here onwards could easily take the top spot. This band are strangely important to me. In 2013 they were the first band (along with their alter ego 'Doll$Boxx') that introduced me to this whole new, all girl J-rock/metal/alternative scene that has since bloomed in all different directions. They were very much a "stepping stone" band though, in that I got their debut and liked it, but generally found myself drifting away and paying more attention to other bands. Ten years later I saw they were releasing a new album and decided to give it a go, and it just completely floored me. The first single 'Replica' is a song about anxiety and dealing with the "always on, always at your best" culture of the 21st century (especially so in Japan). It is rousing and liberating in equal measure. Fronted by a new-ish (this is her 2nd album I believe) and younger (compared to the original members) singer called Angie 1/3 (original singer and drummer Hana now plays guitar!), both the songs and the band benefit greatly from her presence. On 'Lonely Mart', her vocal skills are front and centre of this stripped-back yet still inventive ballad. 'Voice' starts with a pop-punk sounding early summer morning guitar line and builds into a stomping, feel good anthem. Whereas on 'Live Every Moment' (featuring both Hana and Angie on vocals) the band channel Iron Maiden, but pull it off with style and grace. W is an absolute winner for a band, and I'm so glad to have reconnected with them.

[jadedofmara]

shuffle game

rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. put your playlist on shuffle and list the first 10  songs, and then tag some people. no skipping!

Sub-liminal by DOLL$BOXX

Edge of the World by Within Temptation

Next Step Toward the Unknown by Yukihiro Jindo (Ys VIII soundtrack)

Exvulsion / Battleground by Keigo Hoashi (Drakengard 3 soundtrack)

Birth of a Wish arranged by Daisuke Kadowaki, composed by Keiichi Okabe (originally NieR:Automata soundtrack; this version is from the NieR Orchestral Arrangement Album Special Disc)

Santa Fe by Angela Aki

Recruitment Medley arranged by Keiko, composed by Yuka Tsujiyoko, Yoshihiko Kitamura, and Atsushi Yoshida (because this is a medley from the Fire Emblem Premium Arrange album, and the medley features multiple Fire Emblem games -- Shadow Dragon and Blade of Light, Genealogy of the Holy War, The Sacred Stones, and Path of Radiance)

End Title by Danny Elfman (The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack)

Good Riddance (Eurydice Solo) by Darren Korb feat. Ashley Barrett (Hades soundtrack)

Vamo’ alla Flamenco (FINAL FANTASY IX) arranged by [idk], composed by Nobuo Uematsu (originally Final Fantasy IX soundtrack; this is the arrangement from the first Distant Worlds orchestra album and its liner notes suck so idk who orchestrated this version, boooo)

tagging: @nathanielwhy​ @onthespiral​ @dinahdlance​ @loadedpun​ @spareourworld​

idk what “your playlist” is supposed to mean, so you’re just getting my whole itunes library and uhhhh my entire personality I guess. yes I’m a blast at parties, why do you ask. @firstelevens enjoy

[zaoldyeck]

I was tagged by @hukiolukio so now i will expose myself as the huge disgusting weeb that i am!

1. the GazettE - Falling

2. Aimer - Black Bird

3. Gacharic Spin - Mindset

4. DOLL$BOXX - Dragonet

5. Kankaku Piero - Hibana

I won't tag anyone because i honestly have no idea who's still on tumblr 🙃

[antonjesus]

monopoly /DOLL＄BOXX

[theemeraldforestscrapbook]

Doll$boxx! Essentially, Gacharic Spin and Doll$boxx are more or less the same band, but with a different singer.

This band (taking them both as one) were responsible for me getting into the whole J-rock/metal scene way back when. Not that it will happen, but going to one of those shows would feel super significant to me.

[aduck8myshoes]

I'm suddenly getting a bunch of notes on my Doll$boxx post from a decade ago and uhhh, if you are in their tag looking for stuff please check out Gacharic Spin the best band in the world that 4 of them are in full time!

[purpleartrowboat]

shuffle your favourite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. then copy/paste this ask to your favourite mutuals 💌💛

1-mars by pinkshift

2-Hero by DOLL$BOXX

3- vixen by destroy boys

4-MiKUSABBATH by utsu-p

5-cattywampus by destroy boys

[bailonglee]

YouTube Music で おもちゃの兵隊/DOLL＄BOXX をご覧ください

[chaos-and-cookies]

U ever just randomly remember an old band u used to listen to like 10yrs ago and get sad lmao I wish they became a real band so bad 😩

[artificialqueens]

Taste of a Poison Paradise, Chapter 9 (Multi) - Joley

Chapter Summary: In the wake of Lemon’s outburst at the club, those closest to her process the fallout and realize something needs to be done before she spirals to the point of no return.

ao3 link

“Okay, I think that’s the last box,” Juice remarked as she dropped herself down onto the couch. “So, why’d your cousin kick you out again?”

Lemon scoffed and rolled her eyes as she piled up the empty boxes. “She didn’t kick me out, we both decided it was time for me to move.” She decided her college friend-turned-roommate didn’t need to know about the argument she had with Rosé. And she certainly didn’t need to know that she’d rejected her ultimatum of, “if you want to stay here, you can’t keep getting drunk every day.” It had been a week since the incident at the club and she was going to recover from it on her own terms.

“Alright, cool,” she shrugged as she took out her phone and began aimlessly scrolling. “You wanna do something tonight?”

The blonde perched herself on the armrest of the couch, swinging her legs. “We could go to a club and get shitfaced,” she suggested.

Juice shook her head without looking up from her phone. “You can. I mean, I’ll totally go with you and turn shit up, but I don’t drink.”

“More for me.”

Her friend looked her over with a concerned expression, eyes finally pried away from the screen. “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked gently. “I mean, I know you’ve been through a lot, have you considered talking to someone about it?”

Lemon shook her head. “I’m fine, I don’t have the emotional capacity for therapy.” She got back up and looked around. “Shit, I guess you don’t have any liquor in here then. I’ll be back,” and after putting her shoes on and grabbing her purse, she was out the door, leaving a concerned new roommate in her wake.

——

Rosé sighed as she passed the joint back to Mik. “This doesn’t make me a bad person, right? I mean the last thing I want to do is make Lemon’s issues about me. But god, that really is what made me realize that I have to do this.”

Mik shook her head as she took a hit. “It’s not your fault, you saw a trainwreck and realized you needed to keep your ass on the tracks.” She finished off the joint and put it out. “Listen, the last thing you wanna do is be that girl who pines over the person she’s sleeping with until it’s too late.”

“You’re right, I know. I’m gonna talk to her,” she exhaled deeply as she pushed herself up. “If Lemon comes around, please don’t have sex with her.”

“Oh fuck off,” she huffed, “that delayed her mental breakdown by at least a week.”

Rosé rolled her eyes as she left. She wasn’t mad at Mik for that, if anything maybe it did help Lemon temporarily by giving her a distraction. But she had so much more on her mind, things that have been brewing since the club incident.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she knocked on Denali’s door, evening out her breathing while she waited for her.

“Hey Rosie,” Denali smiled warmly as she opened the door, leading her inside and shutting it behind them. “What’s up? You usually text me when you’re on your way over.” They sat down on the couch as she spoke, a tinge of concern in her voice.

She swallowed thickly, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. “I know I’ve been distant lately with everything that’s been happening with Lemon. But through all the chaos, I realized something, that keeping your feelings bottled up is dangerous.” Another deep breath, this time she forced herself to look into Denali’s eyes, eyes that she found warmth and comfort in every time she gazed into them. “What I’m trying to say is that I have feelings for you. I don’t just wanna be fuck buddies, it’s not enough. I need all of you.”

Denali blinked, taking her time to process Rosé’s confession. At first it was pure surprise, but once she let it sink in, it clicked that she felt the same way, that she had been falling for her all along without realizing it. “You have all of me,” she told her, cupping her face and pressing a deep kiss to her lips.

In that moment, a weight lifted from Rosé’s chest. If only for the duration of a kiss, she could pretend nothing in the world existed outside of Denali’s apartment. She could stop thinking, stop worrying. It was only them, everything else faded to black. “Are we alone?” she asked against her lips.

“Mhm,” she nodded, a slight smirk tugging at her lips, able to fill in the blanks from there. Her hands traveled down Rosé’s body, tugging off her shirt in one swift motion, her own following suit, though they took their time undressing each other, letting their fingers and lips gently caress each other’s skin.

By the time they were both completely undressed, they had gotten each other thoroughly worked up. Rosé had Denali sit up on the couch, then got on her knees in front of her, pushing her thighs apart. She moved in between them, dragging her tongue along her pussy before circling, then sucking on her clit as she eased a finger into her.

Denali’s head lolled back to rest against the back of the couch, a pleased moan escaping. “Mm, Rosie…” she exhaled, her hips pushing up when Rosé slid in a second finger. “Baby, just like that, feels so good.”

She basked in the praise, continuing her movements, occasionally switching her tongue and her fingers, but never leaving her unattended. She was focused and fervent, bringing Denali to an orgasm as quickly as she could, as if she were setting it as a challenge to herself. Once she’d won her game, she pulled back with a smile, gazing up at her. “God, you’re beautiful.”

“And you’re sappy,” she teased affectionately, leaning down to kiss her. “Come on,” she got up and pulled Rosé to her feet, “we can cuddle until I gotta get ready for my shift.”

——

Nicky watched Jan with a concerned expression. She wished she knew what to do, how to talk to her and help her. Ever since the incident at the club, she had been quiet, withdrawn, two words she would never think to associate with the bubbly woman she loved so dearly. It killed her to see her girlfriend hurting, enough for her to put her aversion to emotional conversations aside as she sat beside her on the couch, gently taking her hand. “Please tell me what’s wrong. You haven’t been the same since what happened with Lemon and I’m worried about you.”

Jan chewed on her lip, her gaze downcast. Logically, she knew she couldn’t avoid this conversation forever, but it didn’t make it any easier. “Lemon is like a sister to me and I’m worried about her. I know what alcoholism looks like… and I know what it can do to someone, it’s not pretty.”

She furrowed her brows, shifting closer to the younger woman. “What do you mean?”

“Well, um…” she swallowed thickly, “my dad’s five years sober now, but it hit a nasty low before it got better. I-I don’t know what that low would be for Lemon, I’m afraid she’s hit it, but I’m even more afraid she hasn’t.”

Nicky nodded as she listened. She had suspected Lemon might have developed a bit of a drinking habit, but not the severity, and certainly not the effect it would have on Jan. “I am so sorry about your father, and about Lemon. Is there anything we can do?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “My dad went to rehab while I was away at college, but I imagine my mom laid down some ultimatums, but I don’t know if Lemon thinks she has anything left to lose.”

“There has to be some way, and I’m going to help you find it,” she promised.

——

“Thank you all for meeting me here,” Juice said as she looked around the two pushed-together tables in the diner. “For those of you who don’t know, my name is Julia - Juice - and Lemon moved in with me about four days ago.”

“What happened?” Rosé immediately asked. “Is she okay?”

The blonde hesitated and looked down at the table. “Technically yes, she’s nursing a hangover at home right now but otherwise fine, unless she’s started day drinking. But there’s a bigger issue, and I’m sure you guys have started to suspect as much. What I’m trying to say is she’s developing an alcohol problem, and if we don’t do something about it now, it could get much worse.”

Everyone else had similar expressions - sadness, concern, anxiety. But none of them were surprised. “What do we do, then?” Rosé asked, breaking a tense moment of silence.

“Listen, I’m not claiming to be an expert. I’m twenty-two, sober for eight months now, so I can relate to how she’s feeling. What she’s going to need is everyone to rally around her, because it won’t be easy to convince her to get help.”

“So can we stage an intervention?” Jaida asked. “Do you have someone we can talk to?”

Juice nodded. “I can talk to my sponsor and have her put us in touch with someone who can get her into a detox, put the whole thing together. It goes so far beyond just telling her to stop drinking, especially in a club environment.”

“Speaking of the club environment,” Gigi chimed in, “we have to address the elephant in the room. What are we gonna do about the Priyanka situation? She told Crystal she’s taking a day job until things cool off, but if Lemon gets help… maybe that’ll expedite the process.”

Jackie sighed, but agreed. “I can open auditions to take on another dancer temporarily, I don’t know how long she’s gonna need, but assuming she chooses to get help, I want her to know she has a place to come back to.” She was quiet for a moment, then added, “I’m going to reach out to Priyanka too, I know she hasn’t been answering most of our calls or texts, but I think I might be able to get through to her.”

“My god, we’ve been so caught up with Lemon, we’ve barely kept up with Pri. Are we bad friends?” Jan asked, feeling a mix of guilt and sadness.

Juice shook her head. “No, of course not. Everyone here is doing their best. You guys reach out to Priyanka and figure out a way to get Lemon to the intervention when the time comes, I’ll do what I can on my part.” From there, they all just had to hope for the best.

——

Jackie took a deep breath, making sure she was calm and collected before knocking on the door. When a woman with black hair and tattoos opened the door, she greeted her politely. “Hi, you must be Scarlett. Um, can you tell Priyanka that Jackie’s here to see her?”

Scarlett nodded, disappearing back into her apartment. There was a solid few minutes of waiting, but Priyanka eventually came to the door. “Hey,” she greeted meekly and led Jackie inside.

Jackie sat at the edge of the bed in the guest room Priyanka had been staying in. “How have you been? You know we’re all worried about you.”

Priyanka’s gaze never left the floor. She picked pieces of lint off of her shorts as she sat down as well, swinging her legs aimlessly. How could she even begin to tackle that question when everything she had ever known had changed overnight? How can anyone process that sort of thing? “Scarlett convinced me to try therapy. I’ve had a couple sessions so far… It helped, I think, but it’s just scratching the surface, you know?”

She listened attentively, nodding along. “I’m proud of you for that. How did your family react when you and Mark broke up?”

“It’s funny, as angry as he was, he didn’t out me. He said it’s clear I have my own problems to work through. My mom was furious that the wedding was called off, so I threw in the ‘I like girls’ news because, well, it couldn’t get any worse,” she sighed. “I don’t think it’s fully hit her yet. She asked me if it was an excuse to get out of the wedding. I haven’t heard back since I told her it was the truth, and I haven’t heard from my dad at all.” She laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “I couldn’t even say that I’m gay. It’s too much, I can’t just be gay,” she sat back up and grabbed a tissue, quickly dabbing the corners of her eyes. “How do you get past it, Jackie? How do you stop being afraid of yourself?”

Jackie pressed her lips together as she tried to articulate an answer. “There’s no easy solution, but I’m sure you’ve figured that out by now. I don’t think I was ever ready to be gay, one day I just came to terms with the fact that I was miserable trying to avoid my own truth and that the only way I was ever going to be happy was by loving even the scariest parts of myself.”

Priyanka went quiet again, crumpling the tissue in her hand and staring at it as if the answers were there. “So you don’t think I’ll be able to be fully happy until I embrace being gay?”

“That’s for you to decide. But think of it this way; when you think about your future, best case scenario, what is it in your life that’s making you happy?”

The answer for that wasn’t in her hand, it was in her heart. It made its way into her throat, choking her from the inside and making her pulse race. After everything, it nearly made her angry that it felt inevitable. “Lemon.”

——

“Juice just texted me that they’re on the way,” Rosé read off her phone, her free hand squeezing Denali’s tight, her leg bouncing anxiously.

The woman they’d brought in to help Lemon, Widow, nodded calmly. “Remember, at the end of the day we are here to help her. We’re not punishing or lecturing her, but we have to be firm.”

After another review of the plan, they heard the door open and looked up to see the two girls walk in, Lemon’s expression immediately becoming confused as she looked around. “Are you guys fucking intervention-ing me?” she asked as she took the empty seat to the right of Rosé.

“Lemon, your friends and family are here because they care about you and are worried about your health,” Widow explained. “Now, I know what you’re thinking, ‘this bitch wants to send me to some random rehab until I come back sober for good’, but this isn’t like that. We get that you’re twenty-one, fresh out of college, no history of addiction.”

“So why am I here?” Lemon interjected.

Rosé arched her brow. “Well, for starters, you haven’t been sober a full twenty-four hours in nearly three weeks, you’ve been acting completely unhinged every time you get trashed. You’re actively trying to alienate yourself from everyone who cares about you, you-” She stopped short when Denali squeezed her hand, her cue to reel it in. “You’re going down a dangerous path and we don’t want you to get hurt.”

“This isn’t one of those ninety-day programs either,” Jackie chimed in. “It’s only three weeks, and the first five days are just for detoxing. We’re not saying you have to be sober for good, this isn’t AA, it’s a program that’s going to give you the support and help you need to still enjoy things in moderation instead of relying on alcohol as a coping mechanism.”

Lemon nodded and listened as the rest of the group said their pieces to try to convince her to go. And she took it in, but she was also looking around and at the door. After a while, it became clear that she was waiting for - hoping for - another person.

“Priyanka wanted to come,” Jackie told her. “But we weren’t sure how you would react and decided it would be better if she waited at least until after you detox to contact you. You have to know, though, she really does care about you.”

She sunk further into her chair, not angry, but embarrassed. It shouldn’t have had to come to this, she knew that, knew better. And she hated that everything they said was right, that she did need help. “Fine,” she mumbled, “I’ll go.”

There was a collective sigh of relief as the tension dissipated throughout the room. “Rosé and Juice will go back with you to your apartment so you can pack, we’re going to get you checked in tonight,” Widow explained. “The facility is in Westchester, you won’t be more than an hour away and visitation is every Saturday.”

Rosé looked at her younger cousin and could tell she was doing her best to cover her fear and anxiety. She wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tightly. “You’re going to be okay, baby,” she promised, “they’re gonna take good care of you, and you’re gonna be better than ever once you’re done.”

Lemon nodded quietly, wiping her eyes. “I just wanna get this over with,” she mumbled, still unwilling to allow herself to be vulnerable in front of everyone, though the group anticipated that from her and let it be. All any of them could do now was trust the process.