#Daily Benry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thezeekrecord · 1 year

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why not

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Gordon settled easily into daily life with the Calhouns after that. Benry gave him more and more responsibilities as the days went on; there were some things Gordon just couldn’t do, fully requiring two hands, but there were plenty more chores he could accomplish just fine. The work was tough—he could see why Benry and Emmet preferred to keep Moula inside—but despite it all, Gordon found it fulfilling. He was the type of man that felt best seeing the physical impact of his work and crossing things off his to-do list, making him more than suited for the job. Before Gordon knew it, it had been nearly two weeks, already.

On Saturday morning, after milking the cows and preparing another batch for sale, Gordon helped carry out crates full of milk to the truck. The fact that it was all stored in fancy glass bottles was excessive, he thought; the loads would probably be lighter and less fragile if they stuck with plastic, but when he asked about it, Moula found the suggestion irritating. Apparently the aesthetic of milk from a small, independent farm sold in old-fashioned glass bottles was important to their branding. Gordon was cautious with the crates he handled before climbing into the passenger seat, Benry sat at the wheel.

They made many stops around town, selling to a couple of stores, handing a couple large boxes to Emmet behind the diner, dropping off some neat and more presentable boxes at people’s houses who had apparently paid ahead of time for it, then finally took the rest to a farmer’s market in the middle of town. Benry and Gordon both sat in chairs behind their booth, Benry wearing a pair of round sunglasses and making obnoxious popping noises as they waited for customers.

“You keep really busy around here.” Gordon commented, fiddling with his fingers in his lap. “I kinda expected you to have, like...more free time.”

“Hm? Nah.” Benry shrugged as he readjusted his sunglasses. “God, I hate it when it’s all snowy like this. So fucking bright.”

Gordon snorted and nodded sympathetically. “So, is this like, one of those towns where everyone kinda knows everyone?”

“No, dude, I haven’t personally met every goddamn person who lives around here.” Benry scoffed. “Get your head outta your ass.”

Gordon laughed loudly and kicked Benry, receiving a swift kick back. As they continued hitting each other, someone shouted from across the walkway towards their table.

“Hi, Benry!” A woman called, carrying a large, open box covered with a cloth.

“Hey, bro.” Benry called back. “Look, this is the guy who got me internet!”

“Oh, hi, Gordon!” The woman greeted with a smile, setting the box she was carrying down on a table to wave at him.

“Oh. Uhh, hi.” Gordon replied, waving awkwardly at her. Once she was turned away, Gordon elbowed Benry. “So, you don’t know everyone here, but everyone here knows me?”

“Not everyone.” Benry said, crossing his arms. “Look. This guy doesn’t know you.”

Gordon looked up, watching an older man approach with a cloth bag. He set it down on the table, Benry standing to peer inside.

“Hi, Benry.” The man greeted as Benry pulled out a potato. “I’ve got about three pounds here, if you want ‘em.”

“Yeah, sure.” Benry replied, taking the bag and pulling up two of their gallon-sized bottles. “This good?”

The man hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t know. Three pounds seems good for three gallons.”

“Yeah, maybe that’d fly with my brother, but we need cash more than potatoes right now.” Benry told him, leaning his palm into the table. “Three pounds, two gallons. Take it or leave it, my man.”

The man put his hands up in defeat and accepted the two gallons. “Alright, alright. Who’s this you have with you?”

“Uhh, hey, I’m Gordon.” Gordon introduced, standing up to meet him properly. “I’m just...staying with Benry and his family for a little bit.”

“He’s helping out with the cows.” Benry continued with a smile on his face. “He absolutely hates it. It’s super funny.”

“Wh—come on, man, I don’t hate it.” Gordon griped, crossing his arms. “You said I could be like Harvest Moon, didn’t you?”

“Sure, why not.” The noncommittal, indifferent tone Benry said that with just made Gordon roll his eyes.

“Well, life out here isn’t for everyone.” The man laughed knowingly. “Nice meeting you, Gordon.”

Gordon sighed with irritation as the man walked away with his milk. “Man, now that guy’s gonna go the rest of his life thinking I’m some obnoxious city guy.”

“You are.”

“Am not!” Gordon argued, plopping down in his folding chair. “I’ve carried hay bales, I’ve milked cows, helped you groom them and trim their hooves and everything—that’s more than most people at home could ever say.”

“Yeah, like this life is something you could just sample for fun.” Benry retorted sarcastically as he sat down as well, turning one of the potatoes over in his hands. “You carry a single hay bale, and suddenly you’re a real cowboy. Maybe I’ll fuckin’—think about physics really hard, and I could be a physics scientist.”

“Okay, no, shut up, I know you’re just trying to piss me off now.” Gordon said, his attempt at a firm tone betrayed by an uncontrollable laugh.

“Well, stop pissing me off, then.”

Gordon snorted and rolled his eyes. “Fine. Whatever.” He said, looking out at the peaceful scene in front of their stand. “...This place is pretty quiet. Like, you could totally set a horror movie here.”

“No, you couldn’t.” Benry said flatly.

“You totally could! Like, uhh—Children of the Corn, or Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or...” Gordon paused for a moment to think before snapping his fingers. “Or It! This place could be like It.”

“Jesus, you’re so annoying.” Benry complained, elbowing Gordon. “Oohh, how scary, there isn’t a fucking Starbucks every 5 blocks. Get over it.”

“What—hey, I’m not a Starbucks guy just ‘cuz I live in the city!” Gordon argued, still laughing, despite himself.

Benry opened his mouth to give Gordon what was certain to be one of his snarkiest replies, but his eyes were drawn back out to the walkway. He gasped, standing up and waving wildly.

“Egg man!” Benry shouted, slapping the table to make extra, attention-catching noise. “Egg man! Wanna trade again?”

“Eggman?” Gordon asked, unable to help the way his mind immediately turned to Sonic the Hedgehog.

Gordon watched as people came and went, Benry talking to all of them with a comfortable, familiar tone—so much for “doesn’t know everyone”, Gordon thought. The milk was clearly popular, too; they sold a lot of it with just a few gallons left to spare. They packed up the remainder in the truck, wading through the small amount of traffic as everyone else was headed out of the farmer’s market as well. Benry made an another annoying popping noise with his mouth as they waited for a green light.

“...Wanna see something cool?” Benry suggested suddenly, giving Gordon a mischievous smile.

“Huh? What is it?”

Benry moved sharply into the rightmost lane. Gordon held onto the handle above the window tightly, stomach lurching from the movement as Benry hurtled down a side road at a speed that absolutely couldn’t be legal.

“Dude! Fucking slow down!” Gordon shouted, closing his eyes to avoid taking in just how fast they were going.

“It’s okay, the road’s empty.” Benry told him, an excited tone to his voice suggesting he was having too much fun with this.

Gordon held on for dear life as Benry cruised down back roads, until he hadn’t felt a sharp turn in a while. Gordon forced one eye open, relaxing just a little at the sight of a long, empty stretch of road; still going too fast, but at least it wasn’t where a car could appear out of nowhere.

“Where are you taking me?” Gordon asked, eyeing the way the road would begin to curve around the mountain up ahead.

“Told you. Gonna see something cool.” Benry said casually, a grin still plastered on his face.

They were on the road a shockingly long time—only a half hour, really, but that still felt like too long while Gordon was waiting in anticipation for this “cool thing” Benry was hyping up. At least Benry had the sense to slow down around the bends of the mountain, where the guardrails that protected cars from falling off cliffs looked a little too old and poorly maintained for Gordon’s comfort. Finally, Benry pulled the truck to a stop on the shoulder of the road, hopping out and nodding for Gordon to follow as he began to clamber up some rocks.

“Dude, where are we going?” Gordon asked as he followed behind him clumsily. He had hiking shoes, technically, but he just hadn’t had the sense to bring them; his sneakers had good support, but not very good traction, so he was slipping and falling on ice and loose rocks as Benry climbed up expertly.

“Not that far.” Benry replied, waiting for Gordon at the top of the steep incline.

Gordon sighed and pushed himself further up, feeling like a lumbering, clumsy animal as he was practically on his hands and knees. Near the top, he felt Benry’s hand grasp his wrist, and Gordon was pulled the rest of the way with shocking strength.

“...Thanks.” Gordon muttered, brushing his hands off on his jeans. “Where to now?”

Benry led Gordon forward, where there was more climbing and sliding involved, but eventually, Benry stopped at a huge rock pressed up against the mountain. Gordon gasped and stumbled back when he turned massive, simply nudging the rock away with ease to reveal a cave.

“...You took me to a cave?” Gordon asked flatly. “I’ve taken better hikes to cooler caves, man. One of my first dates with my ex-husband, we went to—”

Benry choked on nothing as he returned to his normal size, bracing his hand against the wall of the mountain and doubling over as he coughed.

Gordon jogged to his side and patted his back with a surprised laugh. “What? You okay, man?”

“You’re fucking divorced?” Benry asked incredulously once he could speak again. “You never told me you were divorced!”

“What—no, hey, what do you expect me to do?” Gordon demanded, crossing his arms. “Hey, nice to meet you, my name’s Gordon. By the way, I’m divorced. That’s at least, like—tier two or three friendship information, right there.”

“Whoa, we’re above tier three?”

“Sure, why not?” Gordon sighed with exasperation, patting Benry’s back one more time before heading for the cave. “So what’s in here? Rocks? Condensation? Stalagmite?”

“There stalag-might be.”

Gordon turned around and punched Benry in the shoulder—not hard, but enough to surprise him. That didn’t stop him from cackling as they walked further into the cave, Benry keeping to the side to drag his fingers along the wall. When it was getting dark enough for Gordon to consider complaining, he heard a plastic clicking sound to his side, a bright circle of light immediately following.

“Nice. Still works.” Benry said, sounding quite pleased as he held a flashlight up. He flashed the light directly in Gordon’s face to look at him clearly, to which Gordon shielded his eyes with his arm and held up his middle finger.

“What’s even down here?” Gordon pressed again. “We’re going in pretty deep. If we get lost or stuck...”

“We won’t get lost or stuck.” Benry told him in a mocking tone, reaching out for Gordon and grasping his arm. “Just stay close to me. I know the way.”

Gordon rolled his eyes and stuck close to Benry, struggling to find good footing while Benry walked with ease. The last time Gordon had been in a cave was, like he’d said, with his ex-husband. The cave they’d gone to was part of the Timpanogos cave system in Utah; Gordon had held the “better hike” thing over Benry’s head earlier, but really, that was likely the most miserable hike he’d ever been on. His ex-husband had only looked at pictures of the cave itself, and didn’t bother to find out ahead of time that the hike to the cave was just one long, steep, and agonizing incline, zig-zagging up the mountain to the mouth of the cave. The cave was incredible, though, with extremely unique rock formations to marvel at in the dim lights.

Back then, it had been much easier to take in the beauty of the cave. They could only enter on a guided tour, and there were all sorts of measures taken to make it safer—rails drilled in, wooden signs posted, the walkway made mostly even, and more, making Gordon feel very secure as he walked hand-in-hand with his ex. This was different—as far as Gordon was aware, nobody had surveyed the cave to determine whether it was structurally sound. There was no map, nobody with the instruction to call for help if they were gone too long, they had no safety equipment or means of communication with the outside...

Gordon gripped Benry’s elbow as they walked deeper into the cave. Benry walked with exactly the same level of confidence and ease as he did heading for the kitchen in his house, even when the ground under their feet turned slick and muddy. Gordon’s shoes lost all traction again, leaving him to cling to Benry for dear life as he slipped and slid behind him. The tunnels they ducked into seemed almost random to Gordon, too—there were all sorts of dark holes and forks in what could generously be called “the path”, and Gordon sincerely didn’t know which was scarier: the tunnels that were tight, forcing them to shimmy sideways or crawl on their bellies, or the tunnels that were exactly the right size for them to walk through unresisted. As they descended, sliding and even climbing ever downward, Gordon felt more and more like he was being swallowed up whole.

To make matters worse, Gordon had no source of light that was his own to control. The darkness around them was sharp and heavy, feeling more and more tangible as they went on. How long had it been? Gordon wondered. It couldn’t have been long, but at the same time, he couldn’t remember the last time he or Benry had said anything. He couldn’t shake the feeling that outside the dim little circle of light Benry held to illuminate the way, the darkness itself was alive, crawling after them with silent precision to watch their every move. As they stepped into a tunnel perfectly sized to let Gordon and Benry move deeper completely unresisted, Gordon felt a strange lurch in his stomach. He stumbled a little, freezing at the sound of a footstep behind him.

“What was that?” Gordon demanded, gripping Benry’s hood and pulling on it to make him stop walking. “There’s something behind us, Benry, give me the flashlight.”

Benry choked a little when Gordon tugged on his hood. “There’s nothing behind us.” He said when he recovered, turning around to shine the light behind them. Sure enough, when Gordon turned to look, there was only rock. “Our footsteps are just echoing. It gets hard to tell where sound is coming from, down here.”

“Well—whatever! Still!” Gordon said urgently. “This is still fucked up, we’re gonna get lost! I’m pretty sure we’re already lost.”

“I wouldn’t let us get lost, man.” Benry replied confidently, turning back around to keep walking.

Gordon shut his eyes, panic beginning to set in as he felt the walls were pressing in on him. “No, no, I’m fucking serious, we gotta turn around.”

“It’s fine, Gordon, c’mon.”

Terrified at the idea of being left alone in the dark, Gordon followed after Benry for a few more steps. Up ahead, though, Gordon could already see that the tunnel would get much smaller soon, forcing them down on their hands and knees again. It wasn’t the smallest tunnel they’d pushed through; still, as Gordon looked at it, he couldn’t help but see it as a point of no return. If this were a cave approved to explore, he knew there’d be a sign in front of it with a graphic of a skull or the grim reaper on it, warning people not to go any further. Or, better yet, it’d be sealed with concrete.

“No.” Gordon said firmly, backing up a few steps as Benry knelt down to start crawling. “No, no, no. This is—I’m not going any further.”

Benry turned around, the flashlight in his mouth. He sat back on his heels and took it out of his mouth to talk, pointing it at Gordon’s face again to see him.

“C’mon, it’s just up ahead, I promise.” Benry urged him unsympathetically.

“No!” Gordon shouted, his voice reverberating off the tunnel walls. “This is too dangerous! I-I can’t breathe down here, we gotta turn around.”

Benry pushed himself up to his feet, holding out his hand invitingly. “C’moooonnnn, you gonna put on the chicken hat now? We’re literally almost there. You’ve been through worse, haven’t you?”

“Shut up!” Gordon barked, feeling light-headed. He clutched his chest, starting to feel uncomfortably tight as he struggled to breathe. “I’m serious, I-I can’t—I can’t breathe, I have to...”

“Whoa.” Benry muttered. “You okay, man?”

Gordon pressed his hand against the cave wall to brace himself, feeling dizzy as he struggled to stop himself from hyperventilating. His lungs just wouldn’t respond, though, aching with the effort.

“I just—I gotta be outta here. Right fucking now. ” Gordon said through his teeth between breaths. In a way, Benry was right—they’d both been through something pretty bad before. How had he forgotten? Following Benry was the worst idea ever. He had to take charge of the situation.

Gordon didn’t give Benry a chance to say anything else. He turned and started walking back, feeling the wall when he found the limited light from the distant flashlight wasn’t enough.

“Hey! You wanna come back here, please? You’ll get lost on your own, dumbass.” Benry called after him.

“Then come show me the way out!” Gordon called back, dragging his palm along the wall of the tunnel. It was already pitch black without the flashlight, sending his heart racing. On the other hand, he’d done this song and dance a million times with Joshua. Like convincing his son to follow him back to the car after some time spent at the park, he just had to keep walking, and Benry would eventually follow.

“Seriously? This tunnel is bigger than the vents we were crawling through all the fucking time at Black Mesa! It’s not that bad!” Benry argued stubbornly.

“Yeah? Cool, have fun on your own while I get lost and die forever!” Gordon shouted over his shoulder as he stumbled blindly ahead.

Even past his fear, Gordon felt triumph when he heard Benry’s footsteps echoing lightly through the tunnel. They got closer for a few seconds before suddenly, they grew muffled, as though Benry had passed him entirely.

“Gordon? Where are you?” Benry called.

Gordon turned around, finding no sign of Benry’s flashlight. “What? I just—I walked back the way we came, it was supposed to be a straight shot!”

“See what happens when you walk off without me?” Benry scolded, his voice getting further away. “Just stay where you are, I’ll find you.”

Gordon swallowed hard. He couldn’t even see his hand right in front of his face. He had only walked a couple feet, he rationalized as he swayed a bit, off balance without his eyes. Benry would find him in no time. He reached out to brace himself against the wall, stumbling to catch himself when he realized it wasn’t there at all. Had he lost his sense of direction in this area so quickly? He wondered. He reached out all around him, trying to find the wall, only to be met by wide open space around him.

“Benry?” Gordon called shakily. “Where the fuck are you? I can’t be that far away!”

“Jesus, just hold on.” Benry said, his voice significantly muffled. Gordon couldn’t tell what direction it was coming from, but it certainly sounded like they were separated by a wall—he had to strain to hear him at all. “Where the fuck did you even go? I told you to stay put!”

Any idea Gordon held about Benry’s flashlight being in his immediate future was gone. In its place, panic gripped him tightly, and Gordon lost all rational thought. He stumbled the way he was pretty sure he’d come in through, arms outstretched in front of him in search of a wall. “Benry, seriously, stop fucking around!” Gordon cried out desperately as he searched for his way out. “If this is your idea of a joke, it’s not fucking funny!”

“I’m not fucking with you!” Benry said, barely audible. “Maybe you’re scaring me, huh? Ever think of that?”

In the moment, Gordon couldn’t even begin to comprehend how Benry’s alleged fear was anything close to what he was experiencing himself. He walked for a few more seconds before a small thread of logic kicked its way into his brain again, and he convinced himself to stop wandering and getting himself more lost. Instead, he moved to kneel down on the floor, only to be left flailing awkwardly when something felt off about that action. It was as though his body moved at his command, but the world around him didn’t respond to what he was doing; he could bend his knees all he wanted, but the floor would never rise to meet them. In fact, he couldn’t feel it under his feet, anymore—he’d lost that, too, and now had no idea what his orientation in the world was.

“Benry!” He screamed, his voice muffled strangely as he did. It was hard to breathe, and not just because he was panicking. There was something crushing him physically, as if it had been there all along. When he tried to feel for it with his hands, though, he still couldn’t find it.

This time, Gordon got no response from Benry. He tried to wrap his arms around himself in an effort to calm down, only to feel as though his arms simply passed through each other. Realization at what this feeling was hit him in a flood as he flexed his fingers on his right hand—an impossible action, now, after the resonance cascade. It was like phantom limb all over his body. His brain registered the presence of every part of him, but every part of him was gone—where exactly it all went to, though, he had no idea.

What was real, then? He wondered in a panicked haze. He couldn’t see. He couldn’t feel anything. He could barely even hear his own strained breathing—he had very little to ground himself, to assert that he even still existed. He took what little control he had left over his own body, forcing himself to take in the deepest breaths he could manage, even as something pressed hard against his chest and back like the world’s most fucked up binder. He blinked wildly, unable to convince himself he was actually opening his eyes at all.

Then, just one blink made all the difference. He opened his eyes again, expecting to be met by pitch black, only to see something else entirely. Somehow, it was worse, more terrifying, and less enlightening than even total darkness. All manners of colors and light seemed to writhe endlessly around him, bright and impossible to parse as part of anything at all. Now that it was there, he couldn’t shield his eyes or even close them against it; he was enveloped in it, injected deep into what might be its mass, some completely incomprehensible distance away from anything else, and yet not even close to its center. It extended further than he could ever possibly imagine, and all Gordon could do was take it in, whether he wanted to or not.

As Gordon screamed Benry’s name out again, over and over, he could feel intense nausea rolling in his stomach and sweat beading up on his face. There was a pressure growing in his head, parts of his face starting to tingle. He tried to move in some way to alleviate the pressure, even fruitlessly attempt to press his fingers to his temples, but he still couldn’t move his body the way he wanted. Nonetheless, he felt thick saliva gathering in his mouth as the nausea worsened significantly.

There was nothing Gordon could do except try to orient himself based on what he could see. Slowly, the swarm of color and light began to solidify, and he could begin to pick out patterns. The patterns grew sharper, easier to pick out, and suddenly, he could make out something real in front of him against the backdrop of everything else, like a magic eye picture he finally looked at just right.

The reality in front of him wasn’t the cave, though. Instead, he saw the mountain at a great distance, from the road not far from Benry’s house. His body still screamed in discomfort, begging for his attention—on top of that, however, he felt the growing sensations of sitting in the driver’s seat of a car. He understood immediately that he was seeing the mountain through someone else’s eyes, a very long time ago...

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