#Dolphin pull ups diapers

[fluentmoviequoter]

Sunshine in the Darkness

Summary - Dalton finds shy!reader hiding in an empty room at the frat party, and his world brightens. 1.7k+ words

Warnings - large fluff, medium angst, Dalton complains a lot at first then gets flirty, incorrect description of how Dalton enters the Further, open ending

A/N - Here is the runner up from my poll! This is one of the first fic ideas I had while watching the movie so I had fun writing it. I edited and proofread but please let me know if I missed anything or what you think! Enjoy!! :)

Dalton meant it when he said he did not want to go to the frat party. Meant it when he told his dad. Chris. Himself. Yet here he is – declining diaper pudding and walking through the crowd in front of the door. Although Chris is in front of him and facing the other way, she feels Dalton’s eyes roll during Nick’s speech. As the chanting ends and the music resume, Dalton tries expressing his opinion again in hopes that Chris will allow him to leave.

“This party’s lame!” he yells over the noise.

“Agreed,” Chris seconds as she turns toward him.

Dalton’s hopes of leaving are crushed by Chris stating she wants to go through the stuff in the house, directing Dalton toward the stairs. He releases a sigh as she starts testing doorknobs.

“Check the one at the end,” Chris says as she starts down the hall. 

Dalton rolls his eyes for the approximate hundredth time as he drags his feet to the end of the hall.

“’The night Dalton Lambert had fun,’ she said. Yeah, having so much fun,” he complains as he goes.

He grabs a doorknob and twists it, preparing to tell Chris it’s locked before it swings open. Dalton looks over his shoulder to call Chris, but something diverts his attention – a sniffle? Taking a step inside, Dalton closes the door behind him and walks further into the seemingly empty bedroom. As he rounds the bed, he sees someone sitting against the wall with their knees pulled up to their chest.

“Oh, sorry. I was-“ Dalton trails off with his thumb pointing over his shoulder. “Are you ok?”

You look up and locks eyes with him. In incredibly stark contrast to every other moment of his life, Dalton Lambert has only one thing on his mind. You. Without knowing your name, who you are, or anything else about you, you managed to calm the storm in Dalton’s life.

“I’m ok,” you answer quietly, drawing his attention again. “Just trying to get away from all the people.”

Dalton nods as he watches you play with your fingers hooked under your bent knees. 

“Dolphin?” Someone yells from the hallway, causing you to flinch and bring your legs closer, ducking your head again.

“Give me a few minutes, Chris,” Dalton says through a crack in the door.

“Do you have a girl in there?” Chris asks with a huge smile. She tries to push the door open, saying, “Let me in, Dalton!”

“Chris,” Dalton interjects, gently pushing her back into the hallway. “Give me a few minutes. Guard the door if you want, but wait, alright?”

You don’t hear her say anything else, but the music is muffled again as the door is closed. Dalton enters your sight again, and you relax slightly. 

“May I?” Dalton asks, gesturing to the floor in front of you.

You nod, watching as he sits down. He’s within reach of you but not overbearingly close. Leaning against the bed, he stretches his legs out. 

“So,” he begins, “why come to a party if you don’t like the people?”

You shrug again. Dalton stares at you, smiling as you fail to hide your small smile before looking away again. He watches you for another moment, trying to decide if he should keep talking or leave you alone.

“I didn’t want to come,” you admit quietly. As Dalton's eyes connect with yours, you look at your knees and continue. “To the party, I mean. My roommate dragged me and then left with some guy so I’m alone now.”

“My roommate forced me to come too,” Dalton explains. “She’s the one who tried to force the door down a minute ago. Means well, I think, unlike yours.”

You nod, feeling shy again under his gaze.

“What’s your name?” Dalton tries.

You whisper your name, then ask, “Yours is Dalton?”

“How’d you know?”

“Your roommate said it in the hall.”

“Alright,” Dalton says as he stands. He reaches a hand down to you, smiling as you look between his face and hand. “You obviously don’t want to stay. I don’t either. Let’s go.”

You swallow and wipe your hand on your shirt before taking his hand. He immediately wraps his hand around yours and pulls you to your feet, causing you to fall against his chest. Dalton’s arm wraps around your shoulders, holding you close as you look up at him.

“You always this shy or is it the party?” he asks quietly.

“I think it’s you,” you admit breathily, maintaining eye contact.

Dalton’s eyes widen, as does his smile. “Not so shy now, are we?” he exclaims.

You try to pull away, but he wraps his other arm around you, forcing you to hide your face against his chest.

“I’m sorry. I’ll stop if you want,” Dalton says in your ear.

“It’s fine. You’re- you’re easier to talk to than most people.”

“Dalton, we need to go. Now!” A voice you recognize as Dalton’s roommate says as the door opens. “Hi! I’m Chris! Dalton, now!”

Dalton keeps his arm around your shoulders as you navigate the party and exit into the front yard. As you turn to walk down the street, Chris elbows Dalton.

“I’m going to my new dorm. You two have fun,” Chris says before walking in the opposite direction.

Dalton’s arm remains firmly around you as he begins walking.

“Why’d you stay?” you ask once the noise from the frat party is in the distance. “When you walked in the room and saw me you could’ve just left. Why’d you stay and talk to me?”

“Thought you could use a friend. Maybe I knew we both needed a friend.”

“Thank you.”

“Hey, let’s turn here,” he says when you approach a dark intersection. “Something happened when I was younger and now I don’t really like the dark. Sorry.”

“No problem,” you respond as you turn. “And don’t apologize; everyone is scared of something.”

Dalton invited you to hang out in his dorm room after class the next evening, then insisted you accept. He is drawing when you arrive, and you wave him off, encouraging him to finish. You watch his back, your interest growing by the second.

“What are you drawing?” you ask quietly.

“You.”

You laugh, thinking he’s joking before the power shuts off and all of his lamps and lights go off. You stand up and move to stand beside him.

“Not right now,” he mutters, sounding utterly broken.

Kneeling by his chair, you take his hand in yours. “The power will be back on soon. Everything is alright.”

“You need to leave,” he says.

You begin to question him when he raises his voice. “Go! Now!”

As you pull your hand from him, it’s like another switch is flipped. The room feels darker now as he lurches forward to grab your hand again.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me. I’m just scared, and I didn’t mean it. Please don’t leave me," Dalton begs, grasping your hand tightly.

He’s out of the chair now, kneeling in front of you. You move your free hand to the back of his head, and he leans against you, pressing his face into your stomach. After a few minutes, bordering on eternity, you hear a small crackling as the power returns. Dalton looks up at you with teary eyes.

“How’d you do that?” he asks.

You look at him, drawn back into yourself because he yelled at you to leave. He realizes what he did and stands quickly, one hand raising to your cheek as the other holds steady on your hand.

“I didn’t mean any of that. I yelled at you because I thought you were in danger. Please don't stop talking to me. I need you,” Dalton admits to you and himself.

“How did I do what?” you ask, voice barely audible even though Dalton is inches from you.

“You kept me here.”

You swallow and look up at him, eyes following a tear as it travels down his face.

“Danger from what?”

“Me. I can astral project and the last few times the lights have gone out like that it’s been violent. Even in this realm. But you kept me here.”

You hug him, unsure how to respond to all the information he just told you. His arms wrap around you, holding you as tightly as he can.

“There's one other reason I stayed last night,” he whispers in your ear. “You’re beautiful, you're bright. Once I saw you, you were the only thing I could think about. So, I couldn’t leave. Not when you lit up what has been a very dark world.”

You smile into his shoulder before pulling back to look at him. “You’re scared of the dark and you just compared me to light. That’s kinda romantic, Dalton.”

His gaze drops to your lips before he states, “I can be much more romantic, Sunshine.”

You feel embarrassment creeping up in the form of a smile and hide your face in his chest again.

“You didn’t say anything about everything else I said,” he points out.

“I believe you. If that’s what you want to know.”

“What do you want to do? Since I fought so hard to get you to come over and we can finally enjoy some time that’s just us.”

You shake your head, burrowing further into his chest, unable to explain that being with him is enough.

“She’s back,” Dalton hums, more to himself than you.

He removes a hand from your back and twists to do something. Before you can look up to see what he's doing, he falls backward onto his bed with you in his arms.

“I’m glad I went to that party,” Dalton says as he rubs your back.

“Me too,” you admit quietly, looking at the art decorating the wall behind you.

“Want to go to another one?”

You shake your head and find it in yourself to look up at him again. “What are you going to do? About the projection and the door in the picture?”

He looks at the picture of the door, then back at you. “Figure out how to close it. Forever.”

“You said ‘us’ earlier. What does that mean?”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“You seem too comfortable to get shy about the answer right now. So, tomorrow, Sunshine.”

“Tomorrow,” you repeat.

Later that night, Dalton thinks about you as he settles into a dreamless sleep or perhaps a false sense of security. Either way, all he can think of now is you and tomorrow.

[themultifandomgal]

His Queen Pt15- Secret Of The Tomb

Years Later

Larry set up a new planetarium program so we all getting ready for the grand reopening, but for the last few weeks I haven't been feeling well, which is very strange. Now tonight I feel even worse, weak and I have been coughing, like I am right now

"My love are you alright?" Ahk asks me

"Ahk something not right. Is the tablet safe?" I ask. Ahk walks over to the tablet, I walk behind him and we notice a green erosion. Ahk and I look at one another before he runs off to find Larry. Not long later Ahk returns

Have you ever seen it like this before?" Larry asks

"Never. This corrosion has never happened before. It's always been exactly the same"

"I wonder what's up with it"

"I have no idea. And to be honest... my father knew the secrets of the tablet better than I did. Unfortunately, he swore he'd never reveal them. He never did" I start coughing again just as Ahk looses his balance

"You both okay?"

"Yes I'm ok" I answer

"I'm fine"

"Just take it easy out there tonight, all right? you guys have got 15 minutes till showtime. We're gonna figure this out tomorrow" Larry walks out of our exhibit

"I'm nervous about tonight" I announce

"I know. So am I" Ahk pulls me in for a hug.

Ahk and I watch on the sidelines as Teddy starts

Since 1869, when I was a mere boy of 11... this museum has been a shining beacon to our great city. Tonight we'll expand our horizons even further... to the Sun, the Moon, and the stars. From our very beginning mankind has looked to the heavens and given names to what he saw. The constellations. I thought you might like to meet them" Sacagawea opened the door and all the stars come flying out. Dexter then comes out doing tricks but then it all starts to go wrong. I begin coughing as Ahk has to hold onto a pillar for support.

Everyone is now sat on the staircase looking disappointed in themselves, even the animals

"Guys what was going on out there? seriously what were you thinking? Attila what were you doing with that dolphin man? their the most peaceful creatures

and you're hacking into it like it was The Cove or something. Did you see the look on Regis Philbin's face?"

"Reeju?" Attila says sadly

"Yeah, Reeju. Teddy, what were you doing pointing a gun at me?" Larry now turns attention to Teddy

"Forgive me, Lawrence. I don't know what came over me"

"Do you even remember that?"

"Not at all. Laaa, shut that down!" Laa is the new caveman. He seams to have taken a liking to Larry "It's a defibrillator. Put it down. It's dangerous! Laaa, that's electricity. Those aren't headphones. Stop it!" Dexter then start to wee on Larry which makes him angry "Oh! Hey! Whoa! Dexter! What are you doing? Honestly, if you're gonna act like a baby, then I'll get you some diapers. You want diapers again?"

"Ease up on the reins there, hoss. Can't you see? He feels terrible! Hell, we all do!" Jed says to Larry

"I don't know what's going on with everybody here... but tonight was really weird. Really weird"

"We feel awful. Something took hold of us like an evil spell" Octavius now adds

"Yeah, like we just weren't ourselves" Jed finishes

"Could this be to do with Ahks tablet?" I ask

"Maybe. I'll see if I can dig anything up"

"Woah cowboy what's going on with the tablet"

"Nothing for you to worry about" Larry checks his watch "it's nearly sunrise. Everyone go to your exhibits. I'll figure this out ok?" we all nod our head and get up. Ahk and I make our way to the Egyptology Department and into our sarcophagus

"Larry will help us, he always does" Ahk says as we lay down. The Jackals coming over to put our lids on

"I know, I'm just worried that this will be 3rd time unluckily" I sigh as I'm consumed with darkness. I close my eyes and fall asleep.

Next

Previous

[bates--boy]

He knew he had overstayed his welcome, but it was hard to feel so when he carried the child to her bedroom, nudging the door open with his foot while the little girl curled up against his chest. Peter made his way to her bed and laid her on the mattress. He removed her toy stethoscope, her mask, and her cartoon-themed smock, then went to her vanity to grab the satin bonnet. He lifted her head to tug the bonnet on over her auburn hair that grew long enough for Mama Okoye to style into... what did they call them? Box braids? They looked so heavy, but she looked so much like a princess.

He pulled the plush comforter up over her shoulders, and then laid a hand on top. He couldn't help the sour bitterness that filled his stomach, the scowl set on his lips as he watched the rise and fall of Pakiza's chest. You should be here doing this! Peter wanted to snap at the man that he had worked so hard to keep out of his head. The man he pushed out of his head then, as he bent to kiss Pakiza's forehead. He turned towards the door, switching the light off on his way out. Next was Hasan, whom Peter had to peel all the fake plasters off and switch his training pants for diapers because the kid never wakes up fully to use his potty right. He tucked Hasan in, placing his stuffed dolphin into the child's arms. Peter switched the toddler's night-light on, and crept out the room.

Walking down the hall, Peter sighed and rubbed his neck. Easy part over. Now the hard part, which was waiting for him in the living room, holding his baby girl to her bare breast and humming as the child drunk. A lock of black hair fell from the messy bun, framing her jaw and softening her already sweet smile. How easy it would be for Peter to walk over to the couch and tuck that lock of hair behind her ear, like the many times he's done before, and sneak a quick peck on her cheek? Too easy, but not worth the lapse in judgement, or the inevitable loss of his fingers.

"Kids are in bed," Peter told her as he stood at the armrest of the couch.

"Thanks," Ashira said. She glanced up to give Peter an appreciative smile before turning her eyes back to her baby. "I brewed some coffee while you and the kids were playing. You like the Peabody blend, right?"

Peter forced down another sigh. Coffee. So, it's going to be a long talk. At least Sadaf seemed healthy, especially with that big appetite of hers, so Peter won't have to panic about her medical issues. "Yeah, it is. Thanks." And then he remembered, among the items he had brought over, the one thing that he had been looking forward to all day.

"Oh!" Peter gently clapped. "But I have something even better!" And off he skipped to the kitchen, leaving a confused Ashira to frown at his departing back. Plucking two spoons from the cutlery drawer, Peter went to the refrigerator and pulled out his surprise treat.

He returned to the living room, grinning wide and conspiratorially as he said, "I figured we can wait until the kiddos were asleep."

Ashira cocked a brow at the container in his hand. "Gelato?"

"Chocolate caramel cheesecake gelato, to be exact!" Peter handed a spoon to Ashira and dropped onto the couch. He popped the carton open and set it between them, taking a scoop and holding it up in a toast. "I figured we deserved a little treat just for ourselves."

Ashira shook her head and scooped some of the gelato out, too, and tapped her spoon against his. "You and your damn sweet tooth."

[dailychaceccrawford]

Deep’s deep relationship with an octopus

When Deep is made to eat the octopus, we of course knew right off out of the gate it was never going to be a real octopus [PETA, in fact, recognized The Boys for using a CG creature here]. We talked to Ron Stefaniuk, who is a fantastic prop and creature maker up here in Toronto. He made the whale in season 2, and the dolphin in season 1, and well, the penis set in season 3!

In our tradition of sea creatures and Ron, he created a lot of octopus puppets for us. They were great for reference, but ultimately the interaction was so complex, it ended up being mostly CG for the octopus shots. However, having that reference was invaluable because it gives you a scale, a size, a lighting – most importantly it gives the actor (Chace Crawford) something tangible to interact with – so the puppetry really ended up being of the utmost importance. And really top-notch work.

For when The Deep eats the octopus, our props team created these vegan noodles that he could eat. And then we’d replace them in CG. We previs’d it with John Griffith from CNCPT who did some amazing work for us this season. And then we also techvis’d it. We had little stickers stuck on the actor’s face with string that we could pull to make his cheeks move properly. Ultimately I would say the heroes of that sequence for me were MPC London (VFX supervisor Charlie Bayliss) those guys just crushed it.

Timothy, the first octopus, needed the most amount of work because you’re also R&D’ing and building the system. By the time we got to Herogasm and then the next episode where he’s got Ambrosius (everyone thinks it’s Ambrosia, but trust me it’s ‘Ambrosius’, world!) as his amorous octopus pal, it all went very smoothly.

I would say the most interesting thing that came out of it was that the first couple rounds we got of animation were sort of ‘big’. Timothy was very gestural and Eric Kripke kept telling us to pull it back. It’s funnier if he’s real with just a hint of that characterized fear. So we kept pulling back the animation and really just making him more like a real octopus on the plate that looked terrified.

Chace is such a champ because, well, I have to get these guys to do some crazy shit on set. I mean, I have to say, ‘Yeah, no, it’ll be fine. Just put on this octopus diaper, eat this rubber ball, and I promise you, it’s going to be great in the end. Just eat these vegan noodles while two people pull on strings on your cheeks.’ I guess over time I’ve earned a little trust!

[erodasfishtacos]

Acting Up (mini blurb)

thanks sm to Sarah who generously donated to my ko fi. she requested a blurb about mlbrry going to get ice cream as a family so here you go! with a little harry in DAD mode.

—

It was a hot night and the kids were a bit stir-crazy, so was eight-month pregnant YN in the house while Harry had been traveling to play.

“Mama, what’d y’want?” Harry murmurs, hand rubbing her bump as they wait with one hand as he has Ezra propped on his hip on the other side.

“Everything sounds so good,” She groans as she looks over the menu, pregnancy hunger was a real thing.

Her bump was bigger than any of her other pregnancy and she was quite miserable - though trying to make the best out of it.

“I’ll buy y’the whole menu,” Her husband replies as he reviews the menu board in front of them as well.

“Then I’ll be as big as house,” YN quips, hands running through Cash’s curly locks as he hugs her leg

“Just more f’me to love on,” He hums happily, moving to grope her bum a bit until she smacks his off with an eye roll.

He sees out of the corner of his eye his oldest taunting his middle child with goofy faces.

“Easton, enough,” Harry scolds as he sees Cash’s eyebrows furrow as he gets frustrated with his older brother.

Six and four - what an age.

The oldest stops at the firm tone of his father, huffing and giving his brother a dirty look before moving to stand next to his dad.

When they arrive at the order window, a teenage boy steps over to greet them, his mouth drops open as he sees who it is.

“Y-you’re Harry S-Styles,” The kid stutters, his face flushing red and his eyes wide as he stares at the celebrity.

Harry smiles kindly with a chuckle, “I am. Are you fan? Pleasure to meet you.”

“Daddy, why does he know your name?” Cash asked in confusion as he peeks around his father’s leg.

“‘cause he plays babeball, stupid,” Easton replies with an attitude towards his brother.

“Mama!” Cash shrieks offendly.

YN sighs, cupping Harry’s hand on her belly for moment, “Order me a banana split with peanut butter and extra strawberry. I’m going to go talk to East.”

YN pulls Easton to an empty table with enough room for the five of them and also to accommodate her belly.

“Why are you picking on your brother?” YN uses her mom mode voice as she watches her son pout out his lip.

“He stole my dolphin stuffie earlier!”

Of course.

“Is that the proper way to treat him though?” YN questions directly, tilting his chin up so she can make eye contact.

“No mama,” Easton mumbles, struggling to keep his mother’s gaze.

“Will you say sorry to him when he comes over?” YN encourages.

He agrees, lisps out an apology before Harry hands him a bowl of chocolate ice cream with rainbow sprinkles.

After a few minutes, YN winces and stands from the table, a hand going to rest of her back.

“What’s wrong, mama?” Harry asks with concern laced in his tone. He was currently feeding Ezra little bits of strawberry that was dripping down his chin.

“Just my back is achey, I’m just going to stand and eat,” She grumbles, shifting her weight side-to-side as she takes small bites of her banana split.

“Stop it!” Easton whines when Cash sticks his finger into his older brothers bowl and submerges it in his ice cream.

“Cash,” Harry states, reaching for his middle son’s arm “Get y’hand out of your brother’s food, right now.”

Cash listens but snickers when he realizes he’s managed to annoy Easton.

When Harry looks back to his wife, he then hears Cash shouting, “No!”

The parents look back to see Easton with chocolate ice cream as his nice white shirt and Cash with a sticky hand of melted dessert.

“Cash!” YN scolds on frustration, they were really usually good with each other but today was not their day.

She sits down her food to rustled through the diaper bag for wipes. She cleans off Cash’s hands with a pointed stare as Harry reaches over to clean up Easton.

“You’re done,” Harry tells Cash firmly, picking up his son’s bowl that he hadn’t finished and dumping it in the garbage. “Y’don’t get ice cream if y’just goin’ to throw it.”

That sends the middle one into a meltdown and it makes it even worse when Easton taunts, “No more for you!”

It has Cash standing up and darting around the table but Easton sees him and gets up to bolt away from his grasps.

“Stop running right now,” Harry raises his voice, groaning when Ezra starts to whimper at the chaos and holds on to Harry tighter.

“Boys! Listen to your fa-“

Easton darts around his mother but Cash isn’t as agile yet and knocks right into the front of her calves causing her banana split to drop out of her hands and for her to stumble.

“Baby!” Harry panics, instantly moving forward to grab her arm and pulls her towards him so she tumbles into his chest instead of backwards.

“Oh my god,” YN whimpers, her breathing becoming quicker as her heart rate spikes from the scare, hands coming to her bump.

The boys are frozen still were they’re at. Eyes wide and tears welling at the fear their mother got hurt by them

“Mama, y’alright? Sweetheart, I know Y’got scared. Breathe for me,” Harry soothes more worried about his wife than scolding his kids.

“If I would have fallen,” YN is tearing up, anxiety spiking through her chest at the thought of the baby getting hurt.

Harry is breathing heavier than he’d like to admit too.

“Don’t cry, s’okay. The baby is perfect, y’keeing them so nice and safe, bein’ a perfect mama,” He assures her, kissing her temple and brushing away a tear.

Ezra is distressed too, of course the sensitive little boy is, chanting, “mommy, mommy, mommy.”

She clears her throat, smiling softly at her youngest boy, “M’okay, Ezzie. It’s all okay.”

“Mama, hold me,” Ezra begs, reaching out his arms to be switched to his mother but Harry holds him tight and shakes his head ‘no.’

“Not right now baby. Mommy doesn’t feel very good,” YN tells him, chest still pounding, back still aching.

And when their youngest starts sobbing, screaming that he wants his mother, well...YN starts feel overwhelmed by her two olders ones who are whimpering because they know they’re in trouble and Ezra tantruming.

“Sweetheart,” Harry can tell by the tears bubbling up along her waterline what’s going on, “Baby, y’okay. What do y’need?”

YN sucks in a deep breath, gathering her thoughts for a moment, “I just need a minute alone. You can have Easton and Ezra finish their ice cream. Then come after you’re done.”

“I can do that,” Harry replies sadly, he couldn’t stand seeing his wife upset or scared - it was one of the worst feelings for him.

When YN grabs the car keys and leaves towards the car, Ezra settles as soon as he’s being fed ice cream again. The boys hesitantly go back to their seats across from their dad.

Harry knows they’re young. They don’t understand what it would mean if they knocked their heavily pregnant mother over but it doesn’t mean aggravation isn’t running through him at the two. 

“Daddy...” Easton sniffles cautiously, kicking his feet under the table as his chest shutters.

“Yes?” Harry answers calmly, looking up from Ezra to meet his son’s gaze - the same green eyes staring back at him.

“Do you and mommy hate us?” His oldest asks as he wipes his cheeks with the back of his hand.

“No, mama and I love you two with all our hearts. But daddy is very upset with you two right now, do you understand why?” 

They both nod in agreement that they do.

“Why are we upset?” Harry prompts as he takes a wet wipe to rubs over Ezra’s strawberry stained face.

“Cause we made mommy almost fall,” Cash lisps shamefully.

Harry nods, “And we tell you very often that we have to be careful with mama because she’s got a baby in her belly and we have t’keep the baby safe.”

“Are we in trouble?” Easton voice is still quiver with his guilt.

“I’ll have t’talk to y’mom but if it happens again, y’both are goin’ to be in a lot of trouble and y’gonna get a consequence. Do you understand that too?” 

They nod in unison. Easton hadn’t touched his ice cream again, gets up to throw it away as he loiters - looking towards the car where his mother is sitting away from them.

Cash gets up to but slowly walks around the table to his father. 

“M’sorry daddy,” He squeaks tearfully, moving forward and digging his face into Harry’s bicep.

“Cash,” Harry soothes, grasps his son lightly under the chin, “I love you very much, okay? We just can’t do things like that. Y’need to listen to daddy and mama.”

He nods in understanding before crawling up into his father’s lap, right next to Ezra - who gives him an affronted glare when he realizes he has to share space with him.

When they’re done and Harry has let enough time past, he walks the little group of boys toward their SUV.

He opens the passenger side door where YN is reclined a bit, hand on her stomach and the air-conditioner blasting cold air on her face.

“The boys have somethin’ t’say,” Harry smiles softly, leaning over to give his wife a quick kiss.

“M’sorry mama,” Cash whispers.

“Me too, mommy,” Easton adds on.

“I forgive you both. You just have to be careful with me. You’re sibling is in here and we have to keep them nice and healthy, right? I love you two more than anything.”

-

[popculturebuffet]

Loud House Reviews: The Loudest Thanksgiving

It’s almost Thanksgiving! And a vastly diffrent one than in recent memory: Most of us are slimming down family gatherings to just whose in our house, you know because theirs a pandemic going on and it’s not worth risking your life for it. To those either guilting their families into it or doing so because MAGa or some such I only have this to say. 

Speaking of Black Friday i’ts spread over a week and it’s cyber deals mean I got a ton of graphic novels for a dollar a piece and my christmas shopping almost done. So in other words, boo Maga, yay safe and responsible captalisim.  But while the holiday may be diffrent, as well as the pseudo holiday attached that spawned a wonderful musical and many many injuries, one thing stays the same; Holiday Episodes. And despite being the less popular of the three holidays, Thanksgiving still produced tons of great holiday episodes and specials. And with everything being so busy I simply didn’t put too much thought into what to do for Turkey Day.. well okay the day proper i’m going to eat, spend time with family and watch a bunch of mystery science theater 3000, stay the course even in these troubling times, just with only the 4 other people who live in my house. But in terms of episodes I thought i had nothing.. then I started actually thinking on it and what do you know I have three things I want to do for the holiday, though one might wait till next year, and possibly a fourth. But given my workload currently, i’m not one to back away from a challenge, so welcome to a three or four course meal of reviews. First course: The Loud House thanksgiving special, the loudest thanksgiving.  I originally wasn’t going to do this one, mostly because due to my large workload and constant battle with procastination, I keep having to push back the latest episode review, and I have to do that one soon, as there’s a new episode in december and a christmas episode i’ve put off watching for far too long , as I INTENDED to watch eleven louds a leapin for every chirstmas up till now and never got to it before the season was over.  But just like elven louds.. Nick forced my hand.. and by that I mean the SPINOFF got a thanksgiving episode that’s also a sequel in some fashion to this episode. If I wanted to cover that episode this thanksgiving or the next I had to at least watch the original. And frankly, this close to the holiday there was no reason not to review it. So with that out of the way. 

Let’s Get At Er. This is The Loudest Thanksgiving... after the break

The Loudest Thanksgiving takes place during season 3, and still pre-casagrandes spinoff launch despite the christmas special taking place earlier. This is actually easy to explain: The Loud House runs on Comic Strip time... i.e. the characters don’t age unless the writers decide they do. But while the spinoff was in motion at this point, it was still a season off airing wise, and ill advised raitings stunt mini series wise, so in order to keep the Casagrandes fresh in people’s minds presumably, they did a crossover that at this point wasn’t a crossover but now technically is because the show exists but this existed before the show. 

It’s just a show, and I should really just relax. Point is this is a pre-crossover crossover, the two families meet for the first time, the man already said pitter patter, let’s get back at er.  So we open with Flip serving as our magical snowman narrator and regaling us with the tale of steven. Every compastionate can you imagine it... and i’m fucking with you, it’s of course abotu that time the louds and the casagrandes tried having thanksgiving together. 

We then cut to Lori and Bobby being all cute, as usual, and both talking over the phone as each show off their thanksgivings to each other and the enusing family shenanigans. On Lori’s side Lynn is wearing baggy pants so she dosen’t miss the game or the meal by going to the bathroom.. because that’s how pissing yourself works. Look if your going to do something that gross, stupid and broish just woman up and wear an adult diaper. The twins are guarding Lynn sr and the food, poorly, and Lisa has invented a Gravy Squriting robot. I can only see this ending one way. 

Yeah those single function robots really get useless once the exestnetial crisis kicks in. 

On the casagrandes side, Rosa is likewise guarding her kitchen, Frida is painting and Hector plans to sernade eveyrone because Hector is the best and you all should know that. Even with the recent Bobby Abuse he’s still awesome. As for the Mercado, CJ and Ronnie Anne are running the annual canned food drive because CJ is better than the best and should really be used more often.  Both wish they could be there.. and both honestly talk about possibly spending thanksgiving with each other and just one of their family. It’s not a wild proposition: Both are going to college soon, both are in a longterm relationship.. they plan to get married down the line for now. If things hold they will eventually have to figure this out. Of course rather than fate let them figure this out themselves, Hector overhears on Bobby’s end and Lincoln, whose busy A Clock Work Oranging himself so he can stay awake during dinner, overhears on Loris, leading to an emergency family meeting for both sides.  Both families are worried their prospective teenager going to another house of their longterm significant other for one year will mean they get all the holidays. Having never had a relationship last long enough to worry about this, I don’t quite get it as in my experince watching couples juggle this.. they usually just alternate years, spoilers the solution the episode goes with, or trade off christmas and thanksgiving, both fair solutions. Buuut as much as this bothered me at first the more I thought about it the more it actually made sense: People.. aren’t always rational and won’t always do the smart or correct thing, especially when it comes to their children. And with Lori leaving college and the casagrandes being togehter for thanksgiving for the first time in about 5 years, with both ronnie anne and her mom not having had a proper one in some time due to her mom needing to work thanksgiving, presumibly because of the eternal curse of gravy chugging contests, they have valid emotional reasons to go a bit nuts and do some irrational and assholish things. They just don’t want to loose their big sister and big brother, and that’s fair. It may not be at all accurate but it’s fair. 

So thus began the great Guilt Off of 2018. ON the Loud side they START with a fairly soft pitch, the twins simply offer her food early, and she takes it because honestly I would too. Then again, i’d also take free food in just about any situation, so i’m not really a good gage for this. As long as it’s not poision i’ll probably eat it if it’s free. The next two are a little.. less subtle, with the kids talking about Lori’s roll in the annual thanksgiving skit.. which I’m assuming is soley for Lynn Sr. as no one else seems to be going to their thanksgiving. Which granted theirs valid explinations for why their neighbors didn’t go, the mcbrides and mr grouse have their own families and while Mr Grouse rarely gets to see his, he now has neighborly friends after the last holiday special happy to help. But Pop Pop.. makes no sense as his girlfriend, the only plausable reason he wouldn’t be there, was said to not have much family in her debut. So he’s just.. absent from thanksgiving for no reason. Thena gain we later find out this play is movie length, so maybe he was just trying to escape that which in that case, who can blame him. Rita almost reigns things back in with the mother’s trump card: parental guilt. Almost. She then almost crushes lori’s hand but it’s funny enough.  At the Casagrandes, their opening move is largely the same only Rosa wins in terms of execution, cooking up some of bobby’s faviorites to specificially target him. Frida paints him into a painting, again the Casagrandes win his one in terms of effort. They do tie in the last bit, as Maria and Ronnie Anne try the same sort of guilt slining with the same bone crushing.  Eventually both teens get fed up with the next bit; For Lori, Lucy gives her a long overdramatic poem about an empty chair which is easily tied with one bit later for best bit of hte episode.. which granted when I can only think of two or three gags that really made me laugh...

Bobby likewise gets Hector telling the story about a realitvie not going to thanksgiving. Both get angry.. which for Lori, isn’t all that suprising, if entirely warranted. For Bobby though? It’s like pissing off a dolphin. IT’s hard to do and very much not something you want to actually pull of. Both families are forced to admit they eavesdropped, and are incredibly worried about this whole situation, with Lynn Sr selling lincoln up the river for telling them... this man’s capacity for selling out his children is as awe insprising as it is truly pathetic. 

So the two teens go back to their rooms to figure something out and come upon a reasonable solution: just have one of the families host and both come to it. That’s more than fair. But given we still have a full special to pad out, both families are still treating this like a competion: while the louds win the coin toss, both sides are determined to win thanksgiving. IT’s far from the most insane contest i’ve seen this month, x of swords was happening and i’ve seen a russian yank a goblin out of the demonic alligator skin he was using as a puppet. And we don’t know for sure Arrakoa and Krakoa didn’t have a trial over a baby turkey being adorable as one of the challenges. Other challenges included getting drunk, an eating contest, telling someone to murder a kitten and a wedding, all of this is actual stuff that happened in this recent crossover, I have made up nothing. 

So after the break and Flip realizing oh shit the audience is back, the war begins. The Louds are preparing for war, with Lola putting out a picture of herself instead of bobby and laurie because of course.. still not a half bad gag. The Casagrandes arrive and in in a passive agressive move that was already done a year before this special by Brooklyn Nine Nine and better, brought their own food.. though the roast pig is a nice and unique touch. Points for that.  And this.. is where the special gets tedious. Yeah while the IDEA of this episode was really good and I was excited to cover it in practice it’s just similar gags on both sides done for both halves: The first being “let’s guilt them into staying” and the second being “Let’s one up each other” with only two bits really working: Frieda having a painting and the louds annual skit.  And the skit is because it raises a LOT of questions: Why is it 90 minutes, who played the adorable turkey in the years between babies? Was it just whoever was youngest? Who wrote this? Who is this for besides Lynn Sr and Pop Pop? Who all has sat through this thing at some point? Is that why the mcbrides don’t come over for thanksgiving? It’s just.. fantastic is what i’m saying.  

But otherwise this part is just the family trying to one up each other with food, or toasts, or song, before devolving into a big fight. What makes it not work is.. there isn’t a lot of personality there. You have these two big, plentiful, intresting casts, even at this stage with the Casagrandes far less established and fleshed out. And instead of finding interesting ways for them to play off one another meeting for the first time, and to use that to also flesh the characters out more for the inevitable spinoff, it’s just 

For most of the second half. Thankfully it DOES manage to bring things around as after things degenerate into a food fight, the families decide to just ASK the two of them where they want to go.. and find them entirely missing.  It then turns out, in a nice twist, this is where Flip came in. Since his place is the only place open 24/7 and 365, barring fishing season, Bobby and Lori fled here to flee their insane families.. who then follow them there because Carlos and Lisa have them chipped. I was suprised at first Carlos had a tracker on bobby but honestly, i’ts just common sense. The man is like a golden retriver in a man’s body. Here’s an artists interpretation

Both families breifly bicker before Lori and Bobby announce their starting their own family thankgiving with blackjack, and hookers. They really shouldn’t of let Flip in on the brainstorming session. Both families don’t want that, and apologize, admitting they just didn’t want to loose them and both genuinely offering to let the other have them next year. Flip, who despite having a “pay for my colonoscopy jar” with a picture of his ass on it, is somehow the voice of reason and just suggests trading thanksgivings every year, everyone accepts, and we do get a genuinely heartwarming ending of both sides gathering everything for a gas station thanksgiving. Honestly reminds me of king of the hill’s airport episode, but in a very good way and still unique enough circumstances to work.Also Flip, of all people, donates the cans needed to finish the can drive.. granted i’m not sure if they WANT any of that meat, but hey, he meant well and it made me really like the character.  We get a heartwearming duet between hector and luna and sono the whole family and we’re out. 

Final Thoughts: This was disapointing. I’ve listed most of my complaints already, but overall it wasted a good premise of two families coming together, and even the feud parts could’ve been funnier. As it is it’s just.. ehhhhhhhhhh. It has some good parts, and bobby is an angel here on earth as always. But the whole just feels padded. Like this was SUPPOSED to just be 11 minutes, got bumped up, and thus here we are. It’s not the worst Loud House has done, i’ve seen and heard of muccch worse, but for a holiday special it just feels stale and i’ve seen way better thanksgiving specials. And i’ll be getting to that.  If there’s an episode of a cartoon you’d like me to cover, just pop in my ask box or dms and you can comission a review for 5 bucks a piece. Discounts on bulk, 15 for movies. Until then , happy thanksgiving.

[forlorn-kumquat]

something stupid

“This is quite possibly the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.”

Standing in the doorway to the bookshop, an infant’s car seat dangling from one hand and a bottle of scotch in the other, Crowley shot Aziraphale a disarming grin. “Aw, c’mon, Angel. I’ve done stupider things than this.”

“Get inside before someone sees you,” Aziraphale snapped, pulling Crowley into the bookshop while looking frantically up and down the street, like he thought the forces of Heaven and Hell were going to jump out at them from the shadows. “Crowley, what were you thinking?”

“I don’t know,” Crowley admitted, with a shrug. “Maybe, ‘hey, it’d be great if the world didn’t end in a decade or so’.”

Aziraphale stared at Crowley, not sure if he’d heard him correctly. “Is that - is that the Antichrist?” he demands, aghast.

“Of course it’s the Antichrist!” Crowley looks confused, first, and then offended. “What, you thought I’d just nicked some random baby off the street?”

“I didn’t know what you’d done!” Aziraphale threw his hands up in disbelief as he stalked away from Crowley, away from the baby - Satan’s baby. “I can’t believe you stole the Antichrist,” he shot back over his shoulder as he started an impromptu reorganization of his entire shelving system. It shouldn’t take long, just a few weeks, and then maybe by then Satan’s baby would no longer be in his bookshop. “Crowley, what were you thinking?”

“You asked me that already,” Crowley pointed out, from where he’d made himself comfortable on the couch he’d summoned into the middle of the room, the rather immense piece of furniture defying several laws of physics in order to fit in and around the bookshelves. He was lounging on the couch, glass of liquor dangling from his hand, and using his foot to carefully rock the Antichrist to sleep in his carrier. “You’re repeating yourself, Angel.”

“Because your first answer was ludicrous,” Aziraphale told him. “Crowley, you can’t just stop the Apocalypse!”

“Why not?” Crowley asked, and the utter reasonableness in his tone had Aziraphale stopping in his tracks.

“Because-because-” he stammered, staring down at the book he was holding as if it might give him the words he was so desperately searching for. The pristine first-edition of Hamlet offered no revelations. “Because you can’t,” he finally insisted, re-shelving the book and grabbing another to stare at.

“Well, I did,” Crowley retorted, “so obviously I can.” He gave Aziraphale the same charming smile that had gotten them into so much trouble over the centuries. “Angel, you of all people can’t really tell me that you want the Apocalypse. That you want the Earth and all its wonders - all its people - to be destroyed.”

“But it’s the Great Plan!” Aziraphale protested.

“I’m a demon,” Crowley reminded him. “Defying the Great Plan is a pretty big part of the job description.”

“But not a part of mine.” Abandoning his reorganization as a lost cause, Aziraphale wound his way back through the bookshelves to join Crowley on the couch. “I’m not like you, Crowley. I can’t just disobey my orders whenever I want.” Summoning a tumbler into his hand, he poured himself a generous portion of Crowley’s scotch and downed it in a couple of quick swallows. “I don’t even know why you came here, tonight.”

On the other end of the couch, Crowley was suddenly, suspiciously silent. Aziraphale looked up from his glass to see Crowley facing away from him, bent over the infant carrier in order to fuss over the Antichrist. Aziraphale watched him for a few seconds, worrying at the baby’s blanket, before he reached out and smacked Crowley’s hands away.

“Stop that,” he scolded. “You want to wake him up? Heaven only knows what he’s capable of if you upset him.”

“He’s not going to wake up,” Crowley muttered, but he slouched back against the couch cushions, crossing his arms over his chest with a scowl. He still wouldn’t meet Aziraphale’s eyes.

“Crowley,” Aziraphale pressed, watching him closely, “Crowley, why did you come here tonight? This isn’t exactly part of our usual Arrangement.”

“You’re right, I should probably go,” Crowley started, half-standing as he reached for the infant carrier, but Aziraphale stopped him with a hand on his wrist.

“That’s not what I meant,” he said. “Crowley, please, won’t you just tell me?”

Crowley was silent for several long seconds, and then finally, “I think Armageddon is a mistake.”

Aziraphale sucked in a sharp breath, half expecting a bolt of holy fire to come through the ceiling to strike Crowley down. Crowley, for his part, looked afraid but defiant.

“Armageddon is a mistake,” he repeated, louder, like he was daring God to smite him for his blasphemy. “It’s one thing to make plans to destroy the Earth when it’s brand new and there’s nothing on it, but it’s different, now. There’s people, and dolphins, and ducks - the ducks don’t deserve to have their planet wiped out. None of them do.”

“But why come here?” Aziraphale asked, for a third time. “Why come to me with this?”

Crowley jerked his shoulder in a shrug. “Be awfully hard to hide a baby from you for the next decade,” he said. “Besides, why wouldn’t I come here? You’re my best friend.”

Aziraphale blinked, genuinely taken aback by the emotion in Crowley’s voice, the casual way he admitted his feelings. Feelings that he, himself, couldn’t even think about without developing anxiety.

“Do you really think we can do it?” he asked instead, once again shoving his emotions down into some deep dark corner of himself where he wouldn’t have to think about them. “Do you think we can raise the Antichrist so he won’t want to destroy the world?”

“Only one way to find out,” Crowley responded.

“And how do we know we’ll be able to do this?” Aziraphale asked, warming to his topic. “Crowley, do you even know anything about raising a baby?”

“Well, no,” Crowley admitted. “But, look at him, Angel! He’s so tiny compared to regular humans. How hard could this possibly be?”

----------

Later, both Crowley and Aziraphale would come to regret that comment. Deeply, deeply regret it. But for now, they barely had the time to rest, let alone regret.

They’d named the baby Adam (”We have to call him something, Angel, and he’s the first of his kind, too”) and set up a room for him in Crowley’s flat. They’d gone shopping for baby supplies - the human way, at Aziraphale’s insistence.

“If we’re going to raise him as a human,” Aziraphale had said, firmly, “then we need to do things the human way. That means no summoning things whenever we need them.”

Not that Crowley had minded going shopping with Aziraphale; it had actually been fun, wandering around the shops and watching Aziraphale cuddle Adam. He hadn’t even minded standing in the impossibly long lines while the understaffed shop tried to cope with only one open register (a little demonic invention he was particularly proud of). And he’d convinced Aziraphale to let him use a small miracle to send the packages back to the flat ahead of them, since it would have been even more suspicious for people to see them loading everything into a car clearly not meant to hold that much stuff.

They’d gone back to Crowley’s flat, and gotten all of Adam’s new things set up: crib, changing table, rocking chair, and an amount of stuffed animals that might charitably been called excessive. There’d been other things too, diapers, and wash cloths, and every little thing the shop assistants had insisted was absolutely essential to raising a newborn baby. So many things that they began spilling out of Adam’s designated room and rapidly encroaching on the rest of Crowley’s space. It was a problem that he could have solved easily with a miracle or two - if he hadn’t promised Aziraphale.

“Who knew babies needed so much space?” Aziraphale asked, wonderingly, staring in stunned shock at the veritable mountain of baby things filling the room and beyond. “You know, I don’t remember it looking like this much stuff when we were in the shop.”

“The shop’s bigger,” Crowley told him. “Makes everything look smaller by comparison.”

“Well, we can’t move Adam into the bookshop with me,” Aziraphale told him. “I’ve got even less space there than you do.” Shaking his head in disbelief, he wondered out loud, “How do humans do this over and over again?”

“Usually by finding a different place to live,” Crowley said, without thinking about it.

Aziraphale’s eyes positively lit up with glee. “Crowley, that’s it!” he said, excitedly.

“You want me to find a new place to live?” Crowley asked.

“Well, not just you,” Aziraphale replied.

Crowley felt like he was missing something. “Well, who else-” He trailed off at the beaming smile on Aziraphale’s face, the barely-restrained eagerness. “Oh, no. We can’t, Angel. We’ve spent the last six thousand years going to great lengths to hide our Arrangement from both our sides, and now you want to throw all that hard work out the window by moving in together?”

“How else am I going to help you raise Adam?” Aziraphale pointed out. “This will all go much smoother if we’re both living in the same place.”

“What about discretion?” Crowley argued. “What about being careful and not getting caught?”

“We’ll still be careful,” Aziraphale hastened to assure him. “Just as we’ve always been. But I really do think this will be what’s best for Adam. Our best chance at raising him to be a normal boy with no aspirations of destroying the Earth.”

Crowley heaved a sigh, knowing when he’d been defeated. “I suppose you have some kind of idea of where we should live, too?” he asked.

“As a matter of fact,” Aziraphale told him, “I have always wanted to live by the sea.”

----------

They settled on a cottage at the seaside. Well, the realtor called it a cottage; Crowley, personally, had seen smaller castles. But, it had more than enough space for their little Antichrist to flourish, and that was all that mattered.

Four spacious bedrooms, a library big enough to house all of Aziraphale’s books and then some, a garden in the back for Adam to run around in when he was older - the house had everything they were looking for. It even had an overgrown garden that Crowley couldn’t wait to get his hands on.

It was perfect.

----------

Despite the impression he gave off, Crowley really did love his plants. He loved the quiet, meditative feeling in the early morning when he goes through his greenhouse and the gardens, tending to his plants. He loved the little thrill of pride every time someone complimented his gardens. He especially loveed yelling at his plants and watching them tremble in fear (and Aziraphale could just stop with his talk of “unhealthy coping mechanisms” and “indicative of old traumas” all right, because that’s not what he’s doing, Aziraphale was wrong, completely wrong, and which one of them influenced Freud, again?). Point being, Crowley really did love his plants.

Crowley does not love grass.

He’d never been responsible for a lawn full of grass before moving with Aziraphale to their house in the South Downs. There wasn’t a lot of grass running around Soho, after all, outside of St. James Park, and it had always been lushly green and vibrant with life whenever he was there. And he’d assumed, upon seeing the stretch of yellowish-green grass out front, that taking care of this lawn would be just like the rest of his plants.

The realtor had apologized for the unkempt state of the lawn, muttering something about the previous owners, but had quickly reassured them that all it needed was a little TLC to restore it to its former glory. And Crowley had just as quickly reassured her that he would have the lawn looking better than ever before.

He had been wrong. So very wrong.

Grass, he discovered, wasn’t like the plants he was used to dealing with. His plants were young, malleable, easily intimidated. Grass was old and immune to his demonic charms. Grass weathered the changing seasons to come back every spring, survived fire and flood alike, laid down deep, complex roots that weren’t about to give quarter to anyone. Grass had been there long before humans had ever existed, and would be there long after they ceased to be even a blip on the planet.

Grass, quite frankly, did not give two shits about Crowley or his thoughts on how it should be.

Crowley would have been impressed - if he hadn’t been busy declaring all-out war on his new nemesis.

----------

Crowley’s other nemesis was named Karen.

Karen was the head of the village association. Karen’s main responsibility was ensuring that everyone who lived in the village abided by the rules the association laid down. Karen’s main stickler was the state of people’s lawns. Therefore, Karen did not like Crowley.

Crowley could have lived with dislike. In fact, he would have thrived from it. But Karen didn’t just stop at dislike. Karen leveraged every bit of power she had in the village association to levy sanctions and fines against him for the state of his lawn. She insulted his gardening ability. And worst of all, she’d made Aziraphale unhappy. And that could not stand.

In a way, Crowley figured, he’d brought this on himself. One of his few acts in America had been the creation of homeowner associations, organizations that existed supposedly to help the people who lived in their communities, but instead served to make everyone miserable. He’d even earned a commendation for it. But he’d never foreseen people in England deciding to adopt the idea to torture themselves - and by extension, him.

So he’d tried, at first, to be patient when Karen had knocked on their door and informed him that his yard was not up to association standards. He’d politely replied that they’d just moved in and he was sure he’d have the yard back in shape in no time. He’d also assumed that would be the end of their interactions.

As with too many things recently, Crowley was wrong about this.

Karen became a near-constant presence in his life, stopping by the cottage almost every day to tut sadly about the lawn that refused to turn green, no matter what Crowley tried. She’d purse her lips, giving Crowley a Look that suggested that she regarded him as little more than a disobedient child. She’d stare down at the yellowing grass for several long, silent minutes, like she expected it to bloom into life under her watchful gaze. And then she’d heave a deep sigh, fix Crowley with yet another Look, and remind him in her polite, icy tone that he’d incurred yet another fine for the month, and was facing another next month if he didn’t get his situation under control.

Despite his hatred, Crowley was grudgingly impressed. She’d have made a fine demon.

----------

Luckily, the rest of their neighbors were much more reasonable. About half a dozen of them had young children and were more than happy to lend their expertise when it came to raising babies. They even had a weekly parents’ group that Aziraphale was more than happy to join - and host monthly in their house while somehow forgetting to tell Crowley each and every time. But he looked so happy that Crowley couldn’t even pretend to be angry.

“It’s so good of you to take in your nephew,” one of the mothers - Crowley thought her name was Martha - said, cooing down at Adam in his arms with a sappy smile on her face. “You and Ezra, coming together to raise an orphaned baby - it’s so romantic!”

Crowley choked, feeling his face burn. “I-I don’t know if I’d put it that way,” he stammered. No matter how much he might want to.

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about anyone around here giving you grief about it, sweetheart,” Martha said, conspiratorially, patting Crowley on the arm. “Besides, you two aren’t fooling anyone.”

“We aren’t?” Crowley asked, weakly.

Martha just smiled at him again before wandering away to talk to Aziraphale on the other side of the room, leaving Crowley staring down at Adam in stunned shock. The baby blinked up at him.

“We’re fooling everyone, aren’t we?” Crowley asked.

The baby had no answer.

----------

After seeing the last of their neighbors out the door, Aziraphale shut the door with a happy sigh, turning around to regard the empty room behind him. The too-empty room, come to think of it. Where were Crowley and Adam?

Poking around the house, he finally found them in the one place that, once he thought about it, should have been the first place he looked: Crowley’s beloved glass-walled greenhouse. Crowley was stretched out on the battered leather sofa in the center of the room, sound asleep, Adam lying on his chest. Aziraphale had to bite back a smile at the sight of the two of them.

“Crowley,” he said, instead, reaching out to jostle Crowley’s shoulder. “Crowley, everyone’s gone.”

Crowley blinked sleepily up at him, one had curling around Adam as he slowly sat up. “Angel?”

“Everyone’s gone,” Aziraphale repeated. “You can come out of hiding, now.”

“Wasn’t hiding,” Crowley protested, his cheeks tinged faintly pink. “Just spending some one-on-one time with the munchkin, here.”

Now fully awake, Adam babbled a string of nonsense, curling his fingers tightly around Crowley’s shirt. Crowley smiled down at the baby, bouncing him in his arms and making him giggle.

“Not to belabor the obvious,” Aziraphale pointed out, “but the whole point of hosting the parents’ group over here is for Adam to get to spend some time with other children.”

“You’ll have more parents’ groups,” Crowley told him. “And Adam will have plenty of time to play with the other children when I’m gone.”

“When you’re gone?” Aziraphale echoed, feeling suddenly very confused. “Crowley, are you planning on going somewhere?”

Crowley grimaced, looking uncomfortable. “Hell got a hold of me a couple hours ago,” he said. “They’re sending me on a job; I leave in the morning. Don’t know how long I’ll be gone. Could be a few days, could be a few months.”

Aziraphale stared at him in shock. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded.

“I’m telling you now, aren’t I?” Crowley dragged a hand through his hair, shoulders slumping slightly. “Besides, you looked like you were having fun talking to Martha and that other one. I didn’t want to ruin your afternoon when there was nothing you could do about it.”

“But I-” Aziraphale broke off, unable to put what he was really feeling into words. He was hurt, and a little angry, and more than a little scared at the thought of whatever Hell had planned for Crowley, once he was somewhere Aziraphale couldn’t protect him. “What about Adam?” he tried, changing tacks. “We’re supposed to be taking care of him, together.”

“We’re also supposed to be keeping him off Heaven and Hell’s radars,” Crowley pointed out, “which means that if Hell tells me to jump, I can’t very well say no. Can’t risk them getting suspicious; not now.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Aziraphale conceded, reluctantly. “Just, promise me you’ll be careful.”

“Which one of us got locked in the Bastille for a bite to eat, again?” Crowley asked, teasingly. “I promise, Angel, I’ll be careful.”

----------

Aziraphale would never - never - ask Crowley to be less careful, to risk himself while he was on a job for Hell. But over six months without a word? Without anything to let them know that he was still okay while he was working for Hell, that he was safe and unharmed?

Aziraphale would have given a great many things for simply a reassuring whisper.

But as worried as he was, he tried his best to not let Adam pick up on what he was really feeling. The boy grew stronger every day, and not just physically. He hadn’t yet shown any overt displays of his powers, but he was so sensitive to Aziraphale’s thoughts and emotions that there was no doubt that he was at least strongly attuned to the occult. And the last thing Aziraphale wanted was to inadvertently upset Adam with his worries and fears.

So he smiled, and he laughed, and he tried to keep things going as normally as possible for Adam’s sake. He couldn’t let himself do anything else.

He’d spun a tale to his parents’ group about Crowley being unexpectedly being called away on business - although he was careful to stay vague on just what that business actually was. He was sure that more than a couple of their neighbors now thought that Crowley was into something shady and illegal, as a result, but better than raising suspicions by forgetting exactly which story he’d been telling them.

But whatever they might have thought, none of his neighbors had shown the slightest hesitation in showing up day after day to check in on him and Adam, to give them comfort and company and make sure they were never alone for very long. It was exactly the very best kind of humanity that Aziraphale had wanted Adam to experience and be influenced by.

They were alone tonight though, just him and Adam and his wayward thoughts. Adam had been restless all day long, refusing to eat or sleep, just all around fussy and upset. Aziraphale couldn’t really blame him. He wanted to give into his fears, let himself get fussy and upset, too.

But he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t do anything other than pace the length of the greenhouse while Adam cried in his arms, hoping that Crowley had imbued enough of himself into his plants for Adam to sense and be soothed by.

“Dada, dada, dada…” The litany of Adam’s newest word, sobbed into Aziraphale’s shoulder, broke his heart. Dada was reserved almost exclusively for the picture of Crowley that Aziraphale showed him, and Aziraphale acted to be able to give Adam what he wanted.

“I know, sweetheart,” he soothed, as he turned on his heel to make yet another circuit of the room, “I want your dada to come home, too.”

Then, he stopped and stared at the doorway, and at Crowley leaning against the door jamb, a tired smile on his face.

“Why, Angel,” Crowley quipped, “I didn’t know you cared so much.”

“Crowley, you’re home.” Aziraphale was so relieved, he couldn’t even be slightly irritated at Crowley teasing him. “Are you all right?” he demanded, anxiously.

“More or less,” Crowley told him.

Crossing the distance between them, he held his arms out to Adam, scooping him up and promptly holding him close as Adam snuggled happily against his chest. Then, he surprised Aziraphale by freeing an arm and wrapping it around Aziraphale’s shoulders, pulling him into a loose hug.

“Crowley, what-”

“I know this isn’t what we usually do,” Crowley interrupted him, voice muffled from where he had his head pressed against the crook of Aziraphale’s neck, “but I just - I need this right now.”

“Of course,” Aziraphale said, wrapping his arms around Crowley in response. He could feel tremors running through Crowley’s lanky frame, and he rubbed his hand up and down Crowley’s back to try and comfort him. “You can have whatever you need,” he assured him.

“Just this,” Crowley said, still holding on tightly. “Just need to know that you and Adam are safe.”

They held each other for a few minutes more, only parting reluctantly when Adam started fussing again.

“He’s probably tired,” Aziraphale told Crowley. “I’m afraid neither of us has been getting much sleep, lately. And it is rather late,” he added, glancing down at his watch to see it was already after midnight.

“It’s not just late,” Crowley said, after a moment. “It’s officially Adam’s first birthday.”

“Is it?” Aziraphale checked his watch again, surprised to see the date he hadn’t really registered until now. “Well, how about that?”

“We did it, Angel,” Crowley told him, as they carried Adam down the hall to put him to bed. “We made it through the first year.”

“Only ten more to go,” Aziraphale reminded him. “If only they’re all like this one.”

“I think we’ll be okay, Angel,” Crowley told him. “The three of us, I think we’ll be okay.”

(And they were.)

[sarcastic-sunshines]

ABIONA AU - PART 3

Pairing: T’ Challa x Black!Reader

Warning(s): None

Word Count: 2096

Link to ABIONA by @writingmarvellousimagines

Link to Face claims (2)

Song Inspo: 

Ari Lennox ft J Cole - Shea Butter Baby

6LACK ft J Cole - Pretty Little Fears

Seinabo Sey - Good in you

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Alix quickly jumped up to the sound of Abiona crying, happy for any excuse not to lie awake with her own thoughts. She had gotten even less sleep than usual, her mind clouded with the conversation her and T’Challa had earlier. She had never been so dumbfounded before. It was like her heart had every emotion she was feeling perfectly explained, but her brain would not allow her to share the information. T’Challa was right. He deserved to know where she stood in this relationship. She owed him that at the very least.  As she breastfed Abiona, Alix looked down to find her daughter offering her a stern face. Alix giggled but could not get over how much she looked like her Baba in that moment. Abiona was a gift that she never thought she needed. It was a shock and it took a lot of time and tears to accept it.

Her child, their child, a child made of love.

She remembered being scared when she found T’Challa at the other side of her door. What she didn’t expected was how relieved she was. Of course, she was apprehensive, but T’Challa was so quick to step into his role as a father that he didn’t allow much time for doubt. The day she invited him to her 20th week scans, she was taken back by how excited and willing he was. He never stopped being just that all through the rest of her journey. He would leave important meetings to go to her Lamaze classes with her, even when she told him not to. He would be there practising breathing with her. A role that Jules was happy to be replaced in. Jules loved his sister, but, the energy of heavily pregnant woman preparing for the most excruciating pain of their lives wasn’t really his thing. T’Challa on the other hand made friends with all the women and their partners, even offering to partner with the other women who came alone. His enthusiasm was no different at the baby prep classes. He struggled with changing diapers but was persistent to learn; something that impressed the instructors and made the other dads jealous.

Alix had also struggled to work out during her pregnancy. Most exercises just felt too strenuous. Maternity yoga was a bit better. She still struggled, though, it made her frustrated with how little control of her own body she had. When she broke out into frustrated tears in her living room while attempting the dolphin pose, T’Challa would always be there to remind her how strong she was, how grateful he was that she would sacrifice her body to bring their child into the world. He would even go as far as doing the DVDs with her and helping her stretch. She had never felt so loved, and yet he always felt more grateful for her.

As she rocked ‘Ona back to sleep humming a Wakandan lullabye that T’Challa had been singing to her since she was in the womb, she began to reminisce of a particular moment when her pregnancy hormones got the best of her. She had woken up in the worst possible mood. It was 3am and her baby was sitting on her bladder. She headed to the bathroom for what felt like the 100th time. As her 6 month form waddled back to bed, she struggled to find a position that was comfy for her and the baby. All of a sudden she was hit with this craving for something fried and greasy. She couldn’t push past it so she got up and waddled to T’Challa who was staying in her guestroom. She abruptly got him up by throwing a pillow at him.

Startled from his sleep he frantically asked:

“What is wrong?! Is it you? Is it the baby? What? What?!” He began to grow frustrated with her giggling.

During most hours of the day, T’Challa was a very calm and kind man. However, there was nothing he hated more than being woken from his sleep. Alix knew this but did it anyway. After all, he was the reason she was in this position.

“I am hungry,” she stated after her fit of laughter.

T’Challa, who was still confused with what this had to do with him, quickly turned over to go back to bed.

“That seems like more of a personal issue that can be fixed in the kitchen. There really was no reason for you to wake me”

Alix, who's bad mood quickly returned, picked up another pillow and aimed at T’Challa’s head.

“You are obviously confused. Let me say it again. I am hungry which means the baby is hungry, which means I cannot sleep until this hungry baby gets what they want.”

T’Challa rolled his eyes and rose from the bed.

“What does the ‘baby’ want to eat?”

“Baby is craving one Chili Lemon Burger, a Salmon Burger avec les frites maison. Pour dessert, a cheesecake all from Shiso Burger, s’il te plait,” she said with a smile.

“‘Baby’ is very specific about what they are craving, almost sounds like what mama usually likes to eat,” he said with a smirk as he leaned down to kiss Alix’s growing bump. He was hoping to feel a kick. Baby had yet to kick for him and he was getting worried that they were not making a connection since he had joined the journey a bit late. Alix knew this and allowed him to interact with her bump as often as he could, and everytime he did, her heartburn returned with a force.

She frantically lifted T’Challa up, letting him know that the restaurant would be closing soon and he needed to make it there before then.

“And don’t forget an Orangina! Baby is very thirsty,” she yelled with a smile. Everyday she wondered how far he was willing to go for her and everyday he moved his own finish line further.

T’Challa returned to find Alix laughing at some Netflix sitcom. She turned excitedly to T’Challa who dropped the bags on the coffee table. He pulled out everything she had asked and watched incredulously as Alix quickly dug in almost wiping out her first burger. He smiled to himself and sat next to her pulling out his own order. Even in her ravenous state she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“We need to finish the baby’s nursery,” Alix said between bites taking him out of his thoughts, “I have ordered all the furniture and it should be here in three weeks. I was hoping you and Jules could paint the room?”

“Of course, but I must ask. Would you feel comfortable picking out more furniture? For a nursery at the palace, in Wakanda?”

“T’Challa… Didn’t your father say he didn’t want to see me there? It is probably better if the baby and I stay here.”

“I do not care what my father says. If I had listened to him, I would not be here now, would I?” He turned to stare right into Alix’s eyes.

She, for once, didn’t look away.

“I would be honoured to pick more furniture. What baby doesn’t need two nurseries, right?”

They shared a laugh and entered a comfortable silence filled with their chewing.

“Thank you,” Alix said.

“What for?”

“For this meal. For just being here in general. The fact that you agreed to wake up and get this for me is really sweet. It’s just one item off a list of all you have done for me since showing up. So thank you.”

“Don’t thank me for doing my job. There is nowhere else I would rather be than with you watching our child grow. You are the one doing the heavy lifting. If there is any way I could ever make it easier for you, don’t ever hesitate to ask. Even if it is crazy food orders in the middle night while using the guise of our child to get me to go,” he ended with a smile.

“I cannot help if our child has decided to making me a vacuum that never gets full”.

They shared a laugh just as Alix feels a jolt in her stomach. Knowing exactly what was happening, she grabbed T’Challa’s hands and they both waited patiently.

T’Challa’s heart was beating with no breaks in between. His heaving chest showed it until finally, he felt the tiny foot on his palm. It was small but it was there no less. Alix had never seen him smile so big. He immediately sent his head to kiss her stomach and have a conversation with the baby. Her heartburn returned, but in that moment, it was okay.

T’Challa came back up still smiling. Their eyes locked, and before she knew it, he took advantage of the happy aura and leaned down to kiss her who happily returned it. She couldn’t describe the feeling. All she knew it felt right, in that moment, her and T’challa, with their child. A child made from love. She laid down on his lap and drifted off into sleep. Probably the best sleep she had had in weeks. And that is how they stayed until the city around them reminded them of the day beginning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alix smiled as she put Abiona back into her crib and ended her reminiscing. She had allowed this life to become her new normal, and honestly imagining it without T’Challa seemed dreadful. His devotion to not just Abiona but to her allowed her to experience being loved in a way she had never experienced before. It was time to admit to herself and T’Challa that she was in love with him as well. T’Challa was more than deservant to know that his love was reciprocated, to want it returned. And that was what Alix decided to do, so at 3am she grabbed her kimoyo beads and sat on her bed, hoping T’Challa would wake up. His tired panic hologram appeared.

“Alix are you okay? Is it ‘Ona? Should I fly back? What? What is wrong?!”

He began to grow frustrated with her smiling.

“Everyone is okay. I’m sorry for waking you. I know how much you hate that. I just had to talk you before I lost the courage.”

“About?”

“You were right, earlier, when you asked if it was a crime to want to know if your love was returned. There is nothing wrong with the question. “ Alix for once stared right into his eyes, without looking away. She nervously continued. “And, it is, your love I mean. These past few months have been the happiest I have been too. You coming to my door has been nothing but a blessing. You are always taking the big steps in this relationship and that isn’t fair especially if you don’t see any effort from me”.

She began to get choked up and started coughing and patting her chest.

“Heartburn won’t leave me alone,” she said and T’Challa didn’t say anything but gave her a smile. “T’Challa, I don’t know what tomorrow holds. I don’t know if I will be your queen. If I even want to be your queen, or if I am going to be good at it. All I know is that this has probably been one of my happiest moments and I am not ready for it to end, especially because I get tongue tied everytime we ever have a semi-serious conversation about us. I want nothing more than to see this continue. I want to continue in Wakanda. You and me and our child together.”

T’Challa smiled just from hearing her say ‘our’ since he almost cried yesterday as she talked about Abiona as though he was absent from her life.

“I don’t know what else the council could want from me, but that is all I can offer,” she added.

“That is more than enough, entle, really. I am happy you called. And everything I promised earlier was not a lie.”

“I know,” she responded smiling. “We will talk more in the morning, okay?”

“Alright,” he said with his own smile reaching his eyes. “Sweet dreams. I love you.”

“I love you too,” she finally responded before ending the call. As she fixed her bonnet and finally laid down to sleep, Alix felt at peace, like she was whole again. She laughed at herself for ever resisting as much as she did, before finally drifting into sleep, only to be woken up by the city around her and the cries of her hungry daughter.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglists:

 @dramaqueenamby @writingmarvellousimagines @teechallas-blog @ashanti-notthesinger @wakanda-inspired @lovely-geek @chaneajoyyy @chefjessypooh @imagine-mbaku @90sinspiredgirl @dopegalkk

[leigh-kelly]

She’s Having My Baby: Epilogue

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9]

Month 15:

In the six months after her daughter Chloe was born, Santana feels like her entire universe has changed. She’s gone from being mostly alone and being sort of addicted to her job to having a baby girl to take care of, a girlfriend to see and a whole list of never ending errands to run. Brittany never got on the plane to Ohio. Even though she’d agreed to stay the day that Chloe was born, Santana had been a little concerned that she’d change her mind and leave the minute she was checked out of the hospital. But she didn’t. She came home with Santana and stayed there for two weeks until she was recovered enough to move out.

As much as Santana really wanted Brittany to stay with her, she didn’t push anything on her. She knew that there was going to be a big adjustment period while Santana got used to her daughter and eventually, they both decided that it would just be easier if they started dating instead of jumping right in to living together like a married couple. So Brittany took the money that she got from being a surrogate—Santana was glad that it was already set aside for her so there was no weirdness about that—and she found a little place in a neighborhood she could afford. It was unspoken, but both Brittany and Santana kind of suspected that she wouldn’t be there for very long, that the intimacy they’d already shared in their relationship propelled them past the traditional start and that eventually, they’d be living together.

Where Chloe is concerned, Brittany is great with her. Santana had worried that it might be weird for Brittany, spending time with the baby she carried that isn’t hers, but it hasn’t even been a thing. Brittany is just Brittany to her and Chloe absolutely adores her, lighting up whenever she comes into the room. After Santana, Brittany is Chloe’s favorite person, probably because she spends the secondmost amount of time with her, with all the days they spend doing things together and the nights Brittany ends up spending at Santana’s place. All in all, the relationship has been good and more than being a girlfriend, Santana absolutely adores being a mom.

“Alright, Miss Chloe.” Santana has the baby laid out on her bed as she pulls on little leggings and a long sleeved shirt. She thinks of how every single sleepless night, every panicked trip to the doctor’s office or the emergency room, every time she’s wanted to tear her hair out because being a single mom is hard is worth it. “We’re going over to Brittany’s today because she insists that she has the better TV and she wants to watch the football game there. She didn’t really care that I said Lopez girls aren’t into football. And guess what? If it means we get to hang out with her, then I think we can live through the football game, what do you think?”

Chloe babbles away on the bed and Santana picks her up and kissed all over her face. From the moment she was born, Santana has been unable to believe the depth of love that she feels for this child but as she snuggles her little face into Santana’s chest, her best way of showing affection, the love she feels for her swells even more. Once she grabs a jacket for herself and one for Chloe out of the closet, she slips the baby bag over her shoulder and goes down to get a cab. She still can’t get used to the idea that babies don’t have to be in car seats in taxis and as usual, she clutches Chloe close to her chest, despite the fact that her daughter would rather look around than be squished.

They get to Brittany’s apartment and Santana lets herself in with the key that Brittany had given her a month ago. Santana had never taken her key back from Brittany, but the two of them felt like there was something symbolic about Brittany presenting Santana with a key to her apartment and Santana cherished that moment the way she did all the other big things in her relationship with Brittany.

“Babe?” Santana calls out. “We’re here!”

“In the shower!” Brittany calls  back and Santana props Chloe up on the floor on the Boppy pillow that they’d bought to keep there among all of the toys that Brittany keeps acquiring for her. “Wanna come in?”

“Don’t I wish?” Santana mumbles under her breath, then looks down at Chloe again. “I don’t want to leave Chlo alone, should I order pizza?”

“Already done!” She shouts. “I knew if I waited for you, you’d insist on paying for it, and since it was my idea to watch the game, I wanted to.”

Santana just rolls her eyes, knowing that Brittany doesn’t really have the money, but she never argues with her when she wants to do something small. She sits down and watches the pre-game show, stealing glances at Chloe who whacks away at the floor with a rattle. When Brittany comes out, she’s wearing a Dolphins jersey and her hair is in a wet ponytail but Santana thinks she looks gorgeous. She stands up and kisses her, then Brittany leans down and scoops Chloe up into her arms, blowing raspberries on her belly.

“Hey you.” She makes the baby giggle. “I got you a present.”

“Britt, you really need to stop doing that.”

“She needed her first jersey, Santana.”

“You and I have a very different definition of need.” Santana can’t help but laugh and watched as Brittany presents Chloe with a tiny jersey that matched hers. “That’s actually really cute. I don’t get the Dolphins thing though, you’re from Ohio.”

“Okay, so this is going to sound kind of dumb…but when I was a teenager, I was convinced that Dolphins were just the gay version of sharks. Then I started getting into football and it seemed only natural that they’d be my team.”

“That’s cute.” Santana kisses her again. “What do you think, Chlo? Should we put on our present from Brittany?”

Chloe grasps for the jersey and Santana carefully slips it over her head. She takes a step back and admires her two favorite girls dressed in matching jerseys. Then the game comes on and Brittany gets super into it, cheering and shouting—mostly shouting, it is the Dolphins after all—and totally getting riled up. Santana goes to the door to get the pizza, carrying Chloe with her and when she gets back to her spot on the couch, Brittany is slumped back in a depression.

“Damn, I wanted them to win for Chloe’s first game.”

“Babe, she’s six months old, it’s okay. You’ll have lots of games to watch with her.” “Ugh, I know…I just wish they didn’t suck.”

“You’re really cute when you watch football.”

“You’ve called me cute a lot of times today, you know.”

“Well, if the shoe fits…” Santana shrugs. “So, can I interrupt the game? Or are you one of those people where I’m not allowed to talk?”

“No, it’s fine, you can totally interrupt the game. I don’t even care.”

“Okay…” Santana trails off, not really believing her. “It can wait until after, if you want.”

“Are you breaking up with me? Because then that could wait approximately…forever.”

“What would even make you think that?”

“I don’t know…I’m just checking.”

“It’s actually kind of the opposite of breaking up with you.”

“Oh my God.” Brittany yelps. “Are you proposing?”

“Okay, whoa, if you think when I propose to you it’s going to be over a pizza and a football game, you’re seriously mistaken.”

“When you propose to me? Who said you get to be the one who proposes?”

“It’s a given, I’m going to propose. Don’t even try to fight me on it.”

“I totally will try to fight you, but if it’s not happening now, you can continue.”

“Look, I was just thinking about how you were going on and on yesterday on the phone about how you have the good TV here and all of that and why don’t we just put the good TV at my apartment?”

“Why? You don’t like coming here? Is it because of the time we found mouse poop on Chloe’s bear?”

“No, Britt, I like coming here, even with your…critters. I just mean do you think it’s time we move in together? I miss you living with me. I know I have an infant, but she’s sleeping through the night now and she’s in her own room and just…I’d be really happy to have you move in. And so would Chloe.”

“Didn’t you hate living with me? Once I had a powder fight with myself in your living room. There’s a lot of baby powder around now, I see Chloe’s diaper bag.” Brittany’s eyes widen and Santana laughs.

“I never hated living with you. I hated some of the crazy stuff that you did, but I actually really enjoyed living with you. You bring out the fun in me and ever since you moved into this place you’ve been a lot more responsible. You’re great for Chloe, I talked it over with her, she wants you to move in too.”

“You talked it over with your six month old?”

“I did. She said Mama, I love Brittany, she should live with us.”

“Did you say that?” Brittany scooped up Chloe from the floor. “You really want me to come live in your apartment?”

“We do. A lot.”

“Okay…then I will.”

“Yeah?” Santana grinned.

“Yeah.”

[jlynnhiddles-blog]

Chapter One: The Custom Client

Set in the present, this is a fairytale about a girl making her own way in the world whose work leads her to the man she’d cast as her Prince Charming. Will she try on those glass slippers or will she find out she’s met The Beast? Can two people from different realms risk everything and make it across The Bifrost? Can endings ever be happy? Join me on this adventure, send me a message or a poisoned apple and enjoy!

Jamie glanced up at her workscreen when she heard the incoming message alert from her lab manager, Charlie, requesting her in his office before the end of the day. It was a busy Thursday afternoon in the dental lab where she added color to synthetic crowns to match natural teeth. Most were from pictures, but she was also in charge of seeing patients who came to her for personalized work. Much of the company’s business was from local dentists and they specialized in high end fabrication. Jamie liked the people she worked with and felt lucky to be able to help people get their smiles back. She took a break from the case she was working on and strolled to Charlie’s office, tapping on the edge of the open door.

“Hey Jamie, have a seat,” Charlie smiled. “I need to send you out to do a custom job tomorrow afternoon.”

“Send me out?” she asked, with some surprise. She sat on the leather office chair across from him. “The patient can’t come here?”

“It’s one of Dr. Kline’s patients and apparently it’s a VIP situation. You’ll be meeting the client at their hotel instead of the doctor’s office. But someone from Dr. Kline’s staff will be there, too. They need help selecting the shade and material. It’s just one tooth but they really want to keep the patient happy.” Charlie leaned forward. “This case is really important. The office was happy to pay for your specialized services.”

"Any idea who the patient is?” she asked, intrigued.

“Important enough that they sent over a non-disclosure agreement. They only want you to deal with him. The file name is under Bobby. We have a few pictures but just of the patient’s mouth. I don’t think it’ll be a challenging case. Which makes me even more interested.“

Charlie handed her a copy of the prescription. "Here’s the file information I have so far. They’re sending a driver for you at three tomorrow.”

“A driver? Like an Uber?”

“Pretty sure it’s a private car service. You’re going to a hotel in downtown Tampa. They didn’t want to tell me which one.”

“Sounds like the setup to a slasher flick,” she laughed. “So, count me in.”

Jamie signed and dated the non disclosure. She’d done some work in the entertainment and hospitality industries and the form was standard. Who would she tell, anyway? She walked back to her desk resumed her work. After setting several cases to finish in the specialized ovens, she glanced at the clock and started cleaning up her desk. She took her tablet home to review the pictures of the mysterious Bobby.

Jamie lived alone, save for her two cats, in a second story walk-up apartment. It was a typical evening. She fed her eager cats a can of wet food, played word games with Alexa and made a quick dinner. After the dishes were done and put away, she sat heavily on her loveseat. Her little apartment displayed what she loved. It was quiet, with lots of books and movies, especially her favorite Marvel films from the past ten years. She enjoyed the bright colors, the sweeping overtones, the battle for good, evil, and redemption. She’d always been partial to bad guys. Her childhood heros were Shere-Kahn, Ursula, and Captain Hook. As an adult, Marvel villains kept her interest. Her wall art favored them, as well as other inspirational prints and pictures.

“Alexa, play some Hank Williams.”

She put her feet up on the battered coffee table and found the file on the tablet. The patient had really great teeth, but one incisor was recently and slightly broken. She typed up a quick treatment plan and preliminary shade selections. It would probably be a straightforward fix and a happy patient. She was honestly excited to get out of the lab and find out what the fuss was about.

The next day, Jamie got to work early to make up for the time she’d be gone. A few cases needed to go out that evening, so she settled in but her mind was never far from the impending afternoon excursion. Around 2:30, she had a granola bar and made sure her custom shading kit was packed. A few minutes to three, she poked her head in Charley’s office to tell him she was leaving.

“If I wake up in a bathtub full of ice, missing vital organs, you know I’m blaming you.”

Charlie chuckled and wished her luck.

Pulling out her sunglasses, Jamie walked out the front door of her office and saw the black Lincoln Navigator waiting for her. An imposing gentleman in a black suit was standing in front of it.

“Miss Birch,” he said. It wasn’t a question.

Jamie extended her hand in greeting. She didn’t intimidate easily and she wasn’t sure there was anything to be intimidated by. Yet.

"I’m Bruce,” he said, returning her handshake. “I’ll be driving you today. Are you ready to go?” He towered over her but returned her smile once he shook her hand.

“Absolutely!”

He opened the rear passenger side door and offered her a hand to hold to get in. She had her purse and kit, which was really a dark green diaper bag. Most of the lab employees wear scrubs as part of their uniform, but Fridays are casual. Jamie had decided to wear her scrubs anyway since she was going to be out on official business. The royal blue complimented her light skin. She usually didn’t wear makeup to work, but she’d taken the time today, carefully enhancing her golden brown eyes with metallic shadow and blushing the roundness of her cheeks. A coworker had softly braided her ombre-dipped blonde and brown hair down her back. Working in the smile business, appearances matter.

Bruce closed her door and walked around to the driver’s seat.

“We’re going to downtown Tampa. You can adjust the air conditioning from the center console. Is there anything you need right now?”  

“I’m good, thank you,” she replied.

She pulled out her phone, beaming as always at the green and gold displayed on her lock screen. She still had no idea who the mysterious Bobby was! As they drove, she made polite conversation with Bruce. He looked to be nearing fifty, with fair skin, broad shoulders and close cropped salt and pepper hair. At first, he was all business until he mentioned his daughters and then she saw the crinkles soften his eyes behind his sunglasses. The drive across Tampa Bay was beautiful. She stared out the window and saw a few dolphin fins crest in the waves. She’d worked and lived in other parts of the country, but she always came back home. Before she knew it, they were pulling up to the portico of the hotel. Bruce hopped out to open her door before she had a chance.

"You’ll be met in the lobby by a staff member. Don’t forget your bags.”

“Thanks for the ride, Bruce. Will you be taking me back to my office later?”

He smiled at her. “Probably.”

“Well, wish me luck!”

Jamie took a slow, deep breath and nodded to the doorman as he opened the hotel door. As her eyes adjusted to the light in the lobby, a man about her age strode towards her. She stopped dead.

“Luke.” Her mouth formed the word but she honestly wasn’t sure if it had come out.

The dark haired man smiled inquisitively through his tortoiseshell glasses at her.

“Miss Birch? I’m sorry, do we know each other?”

“I. Uh. No. Of course not. I’m Jamie Birch. I’m here to assist with some dental work on–”

The man cut her off.

“Yes, of course. If you’ll come with me.”

He firmly led her by the elbow to the banks of elevators. Discreetly, he passed a keycard over the digital display and the door opened immediately. As they closed, he turned to her.

“I’m sorry for interrupting you out there. No one can know that we’re here. You recognized me. Which, honestly is kind of weird because I’m not famous. It’s my job not to be famous. But, I think you know who you’re here to see. I’m going to need you to stop looking like you might die though, okay? This will be fine.” His classically British accent conveyed authority and kindness.

Jamie hadn’t said a word. Her brain was desperately trying to catch up. She stared at Luke. Gently, he pushed upward on her chin, closing her mouth she didn’t know was open.

“Don’t want flies to get in!”

Her mind replayed the known facts. She pictured the smile. The bright perfection of it. The urgency and secrecy of the visit. Bobby. And now, Luke Windsor, press agent to some of the biggest British stars in the world. Of course, she didn’t actually know him. But, here he was. Which could only mean one thing.

“Is it okay if I call you Jamie?” Luke asked. The elevator had stopped and he pushed a button on the display. He stood directly in front of her and smiled again. An easy, reassuring, and practiced smile.

“Jamie. I need you to take a deep breath.” He took her hand. “You’re here to do a job. You look great. We’re going to get off the elevator and get to work. I promise, this will be fine. Just relax. He’s as brilliant as you think he is.”

Jamie continued to stare at Luke. With a slightly resigned sigh, he pressed a button and the elevator doors opened directly into the suite.

“Hey! We’re back,” he called, stepping out. “I’ve got the miss from the dental lab.”

From around the corner came the very familiar voiced reply.

“Excellent. Bring her in here, will you?”

Jamie didn’t move. She was still in the elevator. Luke stepped back in and put his hand on the small of her back, gently pushing her forward. She took one, stilting step and slowly walked towards the direction from which the voice came as Luke guided her.

Together, they turned the corner and she stopped again. Luke kept his hand in firmly in place on her back as if he was propping up a puppet.

Tom Hiddleston glanced up from the book he was reading. He was casually seated on a plush chair, his impossibly long legs stretched out in front of him and crossed at the ankle. His eyes flicked up to her and then back down to the book as he analyzed the lovely woman in front of him. He was used to the look on her face, but usually it was in a cafe or an airport, not his hotel room. He slid a bookmark in place and stood, covering the distance to her in two long steps.

“Tom, this is Jamie Birch, from the dental lab. She recognized me in the lobby. Apparently, she’s quite the fan of my work.” Luke pushed gently on her lower back again and reflexively, she took Tom’s proffered hand. As she did, she felt a nudge on her knee. She looked down at the chocolate cocker spaniel, whose ears flopped back as he looked up at her.

“Bobby,” she said. She was pretty sure she said it out loud.

Tom laughed. It was like music.

“Ehehehe yes, that’s Bobby I’m afraid. Luckily for you, he’s not the one in need of a dentist. So sorry about the cloak and dagger stuff. We have established that you know my publicist and my dog. I’m Tom.” He still had her hand lightly in his.

Jamie didn’t say anything. She couldn’t even be sure she was breathing. Here she was, clearly exposing herself as some sort of crazed super fanatic, giving away that she’d poured over publicity photos of him. How else would she know Luke and Bobby? That’s what crazy stalkers do. They probably thought she wasn’t even from the dental lab. Any second, Bruce and another security guard would come in here and pick her up and carry her down in a service elevator. Tom had probably already pressed some hidden panic button when she walked in the room.

“I��” she stammered.

“Where are my manners?” Tom said, releasing her hand. “Let me get you some water. Or, tea?”

“I–” was all that came out.

“Both, then. We’ll sit down and have a chat and you can get to work.”

Work?, she thought. Work! Her case was still in her hand and her bag on her shoulder. Luke felt the tension ease in her body a bit as Tom walked to the open kitchen. He gently took her bags and placed them on an ottoman and offered her a seat, then walked out of the room, Bobby trailing after him.

“I’ll just put the kettle on. Why do American kitchens never have electric kettles?” Tom asked her.

“I–” she stammered. Taking a deep breath, she said, “Well, we won the Revolutionary War.”

Tom’s smile and laugh were instantaneous. “That, you did. Yet, here we are, all friends again. I’m glad to hear your voice and your wit, Jamie. Do you mind if I call you that?”

He sat down opposite her. His face was clean shaven and his reddish hair was slightly unruly. He wore black jeans, a dark t shirt with a thin navy sweater over it, and dark sneakers. The sunlight lit up his bright blue eyes as he looked at her. Jamie opened her mouth to speak, but didn’t seem to know any words so she closed it, her lips forming what she hoped was a smile. He continued to gaze at her, seemingly enjoying her unease. They sat in heavy silence and Jamie tried desperately to think of something, anything to say. He was her favorite person in the world and she was speechless. Absentmindedly, he rubbed his long fingertips across his lips as he watched her.

Soft, he thought. The way strands of her hair peeked out from behind her ears. The faint wrinkles on her forehead where her eyebrows had raised in surprise. The curve of her hips as she sat, properly, one ankle tucked behind the other. The hint of a Southern accent in her voice. Everything about her was comfortable, comforting, warm and soft.

The kettle whistled, breaking the spell.

“Cream and sugar?” he asked, popping up and walking back to the kitchenette across the room.

“Yes, please, if you have them,” she replied. Politeness forced her speech to return.

He brought over a small tea set on a tray and set it on a table between them. It was pink and curved, with scalloped edges. Not the kind of set a five star hotel would furnish its kitchen with. Jamie eyed it with suspicious familiarity as Tom poured her tea.

“Don’t tell me you recognize this, as well?” he asked with some surprise.

“It is the official tea set of the Untitled Avengers Film Character Revival Waiting Area,” she replied, with what she hoped was a casual shrug. The picture of Tom and castmate Sebastian Stan was one of the best from the previous weekend’s comic book convention. A fan had set up the picture with Tom and Seb sipping tea while she held up a sign noting it was a waiting area. Both of their characters had died in the most recent film and fans were eager for their resurrection. The picture had become popular and apparently, Tom had kept the tea set.

“Were you in Seattle?” Tom asked with some excitement at the edge of his voice.

“No, I couldn’t take the time off work. I just saw some pictures and video. You–I mean, it, looked great.”

“They’re fun. Getting to meet people who are passionate about my work is fantastic and humbling and usually overwhelming.”

"Then security isn’t going to shoot me with a blow dart and roll me out of here in an industrial laundry cart?” Jamie asked, the tea returning some of her nerve.

“Eheh. No. Luke has a pretty good sense about people. He keeps the trains running. He wouldn’t have let you up if he thought you were going to boil my bunny or something.” His voice was so soft and smooth. One of her favorite things was listening to him narrate books. She closed her eyes as she sipped her tea, listening to him. “I really appreciate your coming down here. It’s probably a good thing that you know who I am and already what I look like so you can help. So, you are a fan, right?”

Jamie smiled at him, her first honestly relaxed smile since she’d met him. He loved how it lit up her face.

“Uh yeah, of the whole Marvel Universe. It’s fun. I’m excited for Ant Man and The Wasp next month. And Captain Marvel next year. I’m thrilled to get more female superheroes.” She purposefully kept her voice level and didn’t mention the films he starred in.

“Did you like Infinity War?” he asked.

“No.” she replied, more softly than intended. “I saw it twice, but no, I didn’t like it.”

He’d started to ask her why, when her phone began to ring in her scrubs pocket.

“I’m so sorry, I thought it was off,” she said, pulling it out. As she fumbled with it, the locked screen faced him briefly. He reached out and took her wrist firmly, turning the screen to him. He didn’t mean to, but he couldn’t help himself. He’d seen his own green and gold armor. Loki. He released her as soon as he realized what he’d done. She didn’t meet his gaze as she put the phone to her ear.

“Just making sure you got there okay and that you still have all of your body parts!” Charlie said, cheerily.

“Yes, we’re fine here. I was just discussing long term treatment goals with the patient. I’ll shoot you a text if we have any questions.” She hung up. Fuck, she thought. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I am so fucking screwed.

Slowly, she raised her eyes back to his face. He was grinning.

“May I see that, please?” He held out his hand.

Really having no choice, she locked the screen again and gave it to him. It was a close up shot of Loki’s chest, wearing his unmistakable armor. The text read I am Loki and I am alone. She smiled sadly at Tom.

“I can just relate to some of his pain, I guess. Neither of us really fit in. And I like bad guys.” Maybe this wasn’t so terrible. It’s just Loki. He’s a wildly popular character! He has an army! Being a fan of Loki was hardly unusual and sort of explained why she knew Luke and Bobby. Maybe she’d get out of this with some dignity.

Tom nodded understandingly, reaching out to give her phone back.

“He’s a guy with a lot of pain. It’s always good to hear some sympathy for him.” His thumb slid across the screen as he passed it to her. Loki disappeared and the home screen appeared. Dressed in a white button up, dark sunglasses and a very tight blue suit, appeared Tom Hiddleston. The real Tom turned the screen back towards him. With a slow smile, he placed it back in her hands.

“Not just bad guys, then.” He made the statement as fact, his voice unmistakably pleased.

[peachymhaechan]

“Do you even know how to have fun?”

Genre: angst to fluff, badboy!au

Warnings: language, mentions of drug abuse, underage drinking, mentions of sex

Pairing: Jeno x Reader

author’s note: this is my first request omg !! requested by @april-diamondthings, i hope you like it !!

if there was one thing you hated, that would be fuckboys

and, hate to break it to ya, but lee jeno was The Fuckboy at your school

everyone thought that jaemin was the school’s resident fuckboy but you knew better

after all, jeno had been your childhood best friend and has lived next door since you guys were in diapers

middle school came along, tho, and wiped out all friendship after you developed a crush on him and he didn’t feel the same and well... 

you guys drifted apart:/

senior year was coming to an end, and it was tradition for the seniors to throw a party with the juniors and pass on the torch of being top dogs of the school

that party, as per tradition, would have lots of underage drinking and drugs (don’t drink or do drugs, it’s not worth it guys!!)

since you had nothing better to do on a Friday night and your friends were bored, you figured why not go? 

besides, what’s the worst thing that could happen?

oh boy, were you about to wish you had just stayed home lmao

your parents all thought you were going to a friend‘s house (luckily none of your friends’ parents or your parents asked which bc uhhhhh y’all would have been found out real quick)

so since your parents were going to a family friend’s house for a lil party, you guys decided to leave at about 8

your small group of three friends climbed into your car and set out on your way

“Okay, guys. let’s make a pact: if one of us gets drunk, we will not let whoever it is get behind the wheel or drunk text. got it?” you announced, setting out ground rules for the night

your friends were all easy going and pretty responsible people, so needless to say, they all agreed

the venue was always the abandoned water park that your city had in the rundown part of town and every year, kids would sneak in months in advance and start decorating

they turned the old waterslides into fully functional slides again by running hoses, they’d string lights everywhere, and transform the wave pool into a skate park

of course, though, since your grade had a majority of the Dreamies (some weird clique that gave themselves a name, which Jeno was a part of), y’all were not prepared for half the shit they had in treat for that party

they deadass got one of the pools to work again

how? nobody knows to this very date, the Dreamies are a fuckin mystery

they also set up a swim-up bar in said pool, where a bunch of the seniors would be constantly pouring drinks for the whole night

a bon fire was going in one of the pools, where a bunch of kids gathered with their drinks and drugs and bs-ed for a while

when you guys arrived, bathing suits under your clothes, you came face to face with the thing of legends

juniors were invited every year, but you didn’t go last year so you had no idea what to expect

and lemme tell ya, it was not that

as soon as you climbed the fence to get in, you found yourself in a fucking amusement park

the kids you had gone to school with since kindergarten all ran around, partying out their last hoorah

like always, cliques stuck together but some intermingled

one of the Dreamies and one of your best friends greeted you right away

“Y/N! So nice of you to join us! We have drinks over there, hope you brought your bathing suit- oh, someone threw up on the fucking slide, damn it Chenle- and so much more pretty much all throughout! Gotta go relight those tiki torches, if you need anything just come find me!” -Haechan, 2k18

“I say we get a drink first,” one of your bffs suggested, pretty much signing everyone’s death warrants then and there

of course, nobody knew then that that’d be a big mistake

you guys put your clothing in one of the lockers the park had and went into the pool and over to the swim-up bar

“Mark! Long time no see, what the fuck is up, my man?” you asked the college boy serving drinks

you figured he had come back home to help out with the party bc 1) he used to be the leader of the Dreamies and Mark was 100% of their impulse control, and 2) they needed someone who actually knew how to make drinks to serve at the bar

“Hey, what’s up, Y/N? What can I get you?” 

“Whatever will fuck me up the fastest.” 

he didn’t bother to tell you what he had given you, and surprisingly (and fucking dumbly, too) you drank whatever it was in one go

“holy fucking shit, I’ve only ever seen one other person handle their strong ass liquor like that and that was a 40 year old alcoholic-” 

“give me more, bud!“

within the first hour of being there, Mark had you fucked up pretty good

you weren't completely drunk, but you were well on your way

because of this, everything was super fun and entertaining

Chenle’s dolphin impersonation in the pool? Hilarious

Jisung splashing the shit out of Renjun? Comedy gold

Jaemin trying to do the sexy lean against the side of the pool to hit on some poor girl and losing balance as he was asking her out? A gift from God

Haechan trying to stand up at the bottom of the water slide and falling flat on his ass? Hoy shit, the best thing since sliced bread

Everything was going great until you found yourself falling into someone’s arms

“Thanks-” you looked up to see who had caught you right before you fell off the ledge of the pool and your eyes locked with a pair you used to day dream in for years

Jeno

“You should watch where you’re going,” he muttered to you, helping you regain your balance

“Do you even know how to have fun?” 

that question stopped him dead in his tracks, somehow managing to freeze that cocky boy

“Do I know how to have fun?” he mumbled, unsure if he heard you right, partly amused by that question, “Oh, babe, you haven’t had fun until you’ve met me.” 

feeling pretty confident from the liquid courage, you said, “Then show me.” 

Jeno stared at you in shock, not knowing who exactly he was talking to

the last time you guys were considered friends was in junior high, and you had been so timid and he didn’t know how to bring you out of your shell

so jeno took your hand and whoosh! you were off for quite the adventure

first stop: the (fixed! vomit free!) water slides

pretty unsafe but they fixed up one of the ones that went almost straight down and jeno expected you to be super against it but nope, didn’t phase you in the least

“hold my beer” and down the slide you went

“I didn’t think you’d actually do it,” he told you at the bottom, helping you stand up

“Like I asked earlier, do you even know how to have fun?” 

oooooooh that was the wrong thing to say, because from that point on he made it his life goal to prove to you that he did, in fact, know how to have fun

since he had yet to drink or get high, he thought it’d be okay to impress you with his skateboarding abilities

in the ‘skate park’ he wasted no time in showing you all of his best tricks

“Show me how to be- how to be on X Games mode,” you demanded, wanting to know how the hell he stayed balanced enough to do that

the boy was super eager to have an excuse to be closer to you so of course he helped guide you on the board, keeping you on path and preventing you from falling off

his hands were on your waist to keep you steady, and in your heart you were excited because you had missed jeno being in your life but your mind said to cut that shit out right away

did you listen to your head? no, you listened to your heart

“well, was that enough?” he asked you, pulling you guys out of the skating area

“Nope, show me more,” you demanded, walking past the pool and the bar

jeno figured you weren’t paying attention to him so he mouthed :what the fuck did you give to her?!” to mark, and to his surprise, mark replied with “everything, bro! it’s my frat’s specialty. good luck getting her to function tomorrow!” 

jeno realized then that you needed to go home asap

“I’m gonna sit you down here and I will be back in a couple of seconds, okay?” he said as he forced you to sit down by the bon fire

he left you with a bunch of kids singing songs and rolling joints

luckily he appeared a few seconds later as promised, because you were getting more and more on board with trying drugs, too

“Here, drink this,” he told you, placing a red solo cup in your hands

your confused mind thought it was more beer so you chugged it, but became disappointed when the taste registered as just water

“I think that’s enough fun for tonight, yeah? Let’s get you home,” Jeno said, wrapping your arm around his shoulders and supporting your weight as you stumbled around everywhere

you pouted and bitched the whole time, wanting to stay longer

“can I pleeeeeease stay for a couple more minutes?” “no”

“can I please get another drink from Mark?” “No, I am going to have a conversation with Mark about what he serves people-”

“can we take a trip to the beach?” “no” 

“can I please hug Renjun? Oh, god, look at him, he’s so small I have to make sure he’s okay-” “Y/N, he’s so much taller than you are,” “don’t crush my fucking dreams, Jeno” 

“Jeno, I really don’t want to go...” “I really don’t care, you are completely shit faced, Y/N. It’s dangerous being this drunk! We are going home.” 

he put you in the passenger seat of his car and drove to your house, and the whole car ride you sat there and stared out the window

when he got to your front porch, you didn’t even need to pull the keys out, he took them from where your family hid it and unlocked the door

you were surprised that he even remembered that hiding spot from when you were kids

you both stumbled around in the dark, but finally you made it to your room

“Will you be okay to change into pajamas on your own?” he asked, worried about you getting hurt or falling asleep in the process

“Uhhhhh... yes. You can take some of my dad’s clothes,” you informed him, slurring your words to the point where he almost couldn’t understand

somehow, you managed to change out of your nasty party clothes and into pajamas

you curled up in bed while waiting for him to finish

when he came back into the room, he found you curled up into a ball on your bed, looking tiny in the sheets

just as he walked through the door to go downstairs, he heard a small and muffled, “Don’t go.” 

?

“Don’t you dare leave me again.” 

after that statement, of course he went back into your room and joined you under the covers

your body melted into his and you stared up into his eyes

“Do you ever miss it?” you asked him, suddenly sober again

“Miss what?” he asked, genuinely curious as to what you were talking about

“Being friends. Do you miss it?” 

“Of course I do, Y/N. You were my best friend...” 

“Then why did we let something as silly as a crush ruin it all?” 

“I... I don’t know.” 

“I fucking miss you so fucking much, Jeno. I miss you knocking on my window at three in the morning and coming over because you had a nightmare, I iss riding our bikes to the creek and searching for crawfish the whole day, I miss having snowball fights in the crazy old neighbor’s yard, I miss- I miss you, Jeno.” 

he gazed into your eyes, with an unknown glint that you could not place

he took your hand in his and did not let his eyes leave yours for one moment

“Did you know that my parents still ask about you every day? God, I miss you- I miss the way you’d break into my house and have random baking parties in my kitchen, I miss how you’d make me smell your hair when you’d try a new conditioner, I miss how you’d tease me over nicknames my family gave me, I- I. Miss you. So. Damn. Much, Y/N.” 

“Please don’t think that this is just a decision I made when I was drunk, because i have been thinking about this for a really long time,” you pleaded before stretching up and planting your lips on his

it wasn’t exactly how you had dreamed it’d be for the first time, but you couldn’t argue that it was bad

Jeno fell right into it, pulling your hips closer to him so he could take control of the kiss

that kiss felt like it lasted for years

when you finally broke the kiss for air, he said, “Y/N, please don't ever leave my side again.” 

“Trust me, I won’t.” 

After that, he fell asleep with you in his arms, not that you really minded lol

that night ended with sharing secrets and worrying about your drunk friends

let’s just say that that was the first of many more to come

[incorrectdeceptionquotes]

A Bundle of Secrets Chapter 8

Chapter 8

When Kay and Cameron returned to work, they went straight to Mike’s office. Mike was in there, bouncing baby Farrah on his lap as she giggled, “Hey Mike,” Cam said.

“Hey guys,” He replied as he stood up holding the baby up. Farrah saw Cameron and she immediately held her arms and started waving her arms and legs to try and go to him. Mike, laughed, “I think someone missed her uncle.”

Cameron took Farrah from Mike as her little hands gripped the fabric of his shirt, “I think she just recognized me. Thanks for taking care of her for a little while.”

Mike waved his hand, “No problem. I think she’s used to me now. Kid didn’t cry once, just got a little fussy when she wanted her bottle. So... are you going to join us as we question Shawn’s parents?”

Cameron nodded, “I am.”

Kay spoke up, “But the plan is that Cameron hangs back for a few minutes so we can see the kind of people they are.” She explained.

“Yeah, I mean, if they weren’t active in their son’s life, then who’s to say that they even knew that they have a granddaughter?” Cameron added.

“That’s a good plan.” Mike admitted.

“We hope so.” Cam then put Farrah in her carrier and she started to fuss a little. He took a pacifier out of the diaper bag and gave it to her... only to have her spit it out a few seconds later, “Okay, I think she sees through the charade of the pacifier. She’s smart” He then gave her the pink dolphin and she seemed to calm down as she gripped the dolphin and held it close.

Kay smiled at the scene, “I think she just knows that the pacifier is not food so she’s not going to waste her time with it.” She helped Cameron pack up the bag, “Let’s go.”

They drove to a wealthy-looking neighbourhood, they reached the address they had found and went to the gate where there was a plaque over the intercom, “The Blanc Residence.” Cameron read aloud, “I think that this is the place.” Farrah gurgled in her car seat, “Don’t worry kiddo, I didn’t forget about you.” He took her in his arms and she rested her tiny head on his shoulder, “One good thing about babies, they can nap almost anywhere.”

Mike chuckled, “Well, not all babies. You actually got lucky with that one. My oldest son could never get to sleep.”

Cam smiled, “Really?”

“Oh yeah, he always had to cry himself out before he would get any sleep.”

They walked up to the intercom as a voice came from the box, “Hello? Whom is requesting to see Mr Blanc?”

Kay raised an eyebrow at the unnecessary formalities but played along, “FBI. We are here to speak with both Bennett Blanc and Vanessa Blanc.”

“What about?”

Kay and Mike looked at each other with the same incredulous look before Mike said, “It has to do with their son. Shawn Blanc.”

The intercom was silent for a moment then the sound of the gate buzzing came, “Please enter.”

When they got to the front door, they didn’t even have to knock; a butler opened the door and let them in, “Welcome to the Blanc Residence. The master and his wife will be with you shortly.”

Cameron turned to Kay, “Well... I don’t know about you but I’m getting some off vibes about this place already.”

“Tell me about it.” She replied.

“Okay, so let’s go over the plan one more time.” Mike said.

“Right, so you and Kay will question Shawn’s parents and I will stay behind the door to see whether or not it’s even worth bringing Farrah in.”

The butler came down the stairs, “The master will see you now.”

They followed the butler up the marble staircase to a very dim-looking sitting room where a man and woman stood waiting for them. They were both clearly in their late fifties and were both dressed to the nines, despite it being the early afternoon. The man had dark hair, dark eyes, and was wearing a dark grey suit and the woman had dark hair, dark eyes, and was wearing a beige pantsuit. “Thank you Geoffrey, that will be all for now.” The butler nodded and walked away. The man gave a cold smile, “Hello, I’m Bennett Blanc and this is my wife Vanessa.” He said shaking Mike and Kay’s hands.

“Welcome.” Vanessa said.

“Thank you for seeing us on such short notice.” Mike replied.

“No worries at all.” He sat down as Vanessa, Kay, and Mike did the same.

“We’re here about your son, Shawn.” Kay began.

“You mean former son.” Bennett interjected.

“I’m sorry?”

Vanessa waved her hand, “We had plans for our eldest son. When Shawn wanted to run off with that... orphan, we gave him a choice. He could either, keep his wealth and marry the girl we picked out for him or he could leave and be with that little tramp.”

“Do you mean Fiona Jonbroni?” Kay asked.

“I believe that’s the girl’s name.”

Mike frowned, “So you haven’t spoken to your son since?”

“Not for five years but I believe he just needs to get it out of his system and he’ll be back soon enough.”

Kay raised an eyebrow, “So you don’t believe that it’s at all possible that he settled down with this girl and maybe even started a family.”

Vanessa rolled her eyes, “Of course not. My son is a playboy; he’s probably gotten sick of her and moved on by now. He’ll be home where he belongs very soon I should think.”

“Mr Blanc? Anything to say?”

Bennett raised an eyebrow, “I have to wonder why you’ve come here asking about our son? What has he done?”

Kay and Mike looked at each other then back at the couple, “I’m very sorry to tell you but your son was killed.”

Vanessa’s eyes widened, “K-killed? What are you talking about?”

“Both he and his wife, Fiona were killed two nights ago.”

“Th-that’s... that’s impossible, I know we have had our differences but... our son would have told us if he was married.”

Kay looked at the older woman, who was clearly distraught and had no idea that this had happened, “There was one person who managed to escape the killer. Shawn and Fiona’s daughter.”

“D-daughter? No. No. Shawn would have told us if he had a child. He would have...” The woman looked down to her hands.

Bennett raised an eyebrow, “Suppose we believe you. Where is your proof that the child is his?”

Kay furrowed her eyes but turned around, “Cameron? I think you should come in.”

Cameron walked in with Farrah who was still asleep with her head on his shoulder, “Hello.”

“Who is this?” Bennett asked.

“This is Cameron Black, he’s a consultant with the FBI and this little girl...” Kay placed a gentle hand on Farrah’s back, “Is Farrah. She is Shawn and Fiona’s daughter... and your granddaughter.”

Vanessa looked up at the child, “She’s Shawn’s child?” She then looked at Cameron, “And who are you to be holding my son’s child?”

Kay could feel frustration build up inside her but chose to ignore it, “Well, you see, when we were trying to ID our victims, we found that Fiona actually had a half-brother that she possibly didn’t know about.”

“As it turns out, I am Fiona’s brother... which also makes me Farrah’s uncle.”

Bennett’s face suddenly turned to disgust, “So she’s the orphan’s daughter?”

Cameron’s nostrils flared up but Kay was the one who spoke up, “Excuse me?”

“She’s the child of the woman who let our son astray?”

“Yes. She’s a child who has lost her parents... and seeing as you seemed to be unaware of your son’s death, we can rule you out as suspects. Good day.”

“Wait!” Vanessa exclaimed, “What about Sarah? Didn’t you bring her to give custody to us?”

Cameron frowned, “No. I brought her here because as her uncle, I felt that as her grandparents, you had a right to see her. That’s all.”Cameron turned to leave but made one last point, “And her name is Farrah.”

“And because according to the autopsy, Shawn was the one who passed first, Farrah’s custody would go to her mother and should anything happen to her, to her family.” Kay said, “If you wish it, we can send you some of your son’s personal effects after we’ve finished looking through it for evidence.”

Bennett gave a look of indifference, “Throw his belongings in the trash for all I care. Now, if you don’t have anything else then go... and never bring that... child back here” Saying the word ‘child’ like it was a dirty word.

Kay, Cameron and Mike all looked at each other before taking their leave. When Kay and Cameron got in the car, Cameron started to rant as he adjusted the still sleeping Farrah in her car seat, “Can you believe those people!? I mean, it is one thing to disown your own son but to insult his granddaughter’s parents like that? I didn’t think that they would be thrilled to see Farrah but I didn’t think they would be so dismissive and-” He noticed Kay giving him a look he hadn’t seen before when he looked up, “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just... you’re so passionate about your family. I’ve always liked that about you.”

“Yeah? Well... family means everything. I’m glad you, Mike, and Farrah are part of our little family now.” He said nonchalantly.

Kay smiled at his words, “That’s very sweet Cameron.”

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, Cam smiled, “What are you-”

“Taking the moments as they come.”

“What if Mike saw you?”

“Well, he didn’t, did he?” She grinned cheekily, “Now come on, let’s head back and see if we can uncover any more evidence.”

“Rodger that.” He said, stealing a quick..ish kiss from her lips.

“Cameron!” She whispered loudly when he pulled away.

“Taking the moments as they come.” He whispered back.

“Hey, you guys ready to head back?” Mike shouted from his car.

“Yeah, we are, see you there.” Kay shouted back. They drove back where they began to look through all of Shawn and Fiona’s personal effects to see if there were any clues to what could have lead to their deaths. It was bittersweet to say the least. Kay found a framed picture of Fiona in a simple white dress with her hair down wearing a blue flower crown and Shawn in a nice black suit. They were both holding up their left hands as if to show off their wedding rings, “Cameron, look at this.”

She handed him the picture, He gave a sad smile, “This must have been their wedding day... She looked beautiful...”

“Cam...”

“She looked happy. That’s important.”

“Yeah and look at him, Shawn has a smile that looks like he won the lottery.”

Cam smiled, then noticed a flash drive with writing on it, “For Farrah.” He read. Kay motioned for him to put it in the computer, “Wonder what could be on it.”

The screen popped up with a bunch of video files, they clicked on the first one and out popped a selfie-mode video of Shawn, “Hey Princess! It’s your old man here. I decided that I wanted to document everything I could for you because I want you to know everything. Here’s something that your mom and I might not talk to you about is that we don’t have much we can say about our pasts. My parents weren’t exactly the sharing type so I honestly have no clue what they were into and your mom... well, she grew up in the foster system so she doesn’t have many documented memories but what I could find, I included in this little video diary we’re making for you.” Cameron gave a half smile as he watched, “These videos will include your baby videos, some of our own personal videos that we’ve taken already, videos we will take, you think we’re just your dorky parents, well... these videos will prove you right.”

Farrah began to stir at the sound of her father’s voice. Kay noticed she woke up and took her out of the baby carrier, “You hear your Dada?”

Cameron smiled as Kay brought Farrah over and sat down next to him as they watched, Farrah pointed at her father’s face, reaching for the screen. Cameron’s heart broke for the little girl, “Yeah Farrah, that’s your Dada, he seemed like a good man.”

In the video, Shawn got up from where he was and walked to another room where a pregnant Fiona was lying down on the bed, “Now your mom’s extra tired today because she’s doing something very important right now...” He brings the camera closer to her stomach, “She’s busy cooking you.”

“Shawn, if you don’t get that camera away from me, I swear I will break the hand that’s holding it” Fiona said with a joking tone. Farrah shrieked with glee at the sound of her mother’s voice, Kay couldn’t help but hug the little girl close to her.

“It’s for posterity good woman!”

Fiona raised an eyebrow and Kay really saw the resemblance she had had to Cameron and Jonathan, “Define posterity.” Shawn was silent for a moment, “You don’t know, do you?”

“I am a doctor Fifi, not a linguist.”

Fiona smiled but rolled her blue eyes, took the phone from him and brought it close to her face, “Sweetie, if your dad’s still making quips like that when you get to high school, then I apologize in advance”

Shawn lay down next to her and pressed his cheek against hers, “Hey Princess, just remember who took you out to get ice cream for breakfast.”

Fiona’s eyes glanced at him, “You’re gonna give our baby ice cream for breakfast?”

Shawn shrugged, “Just on her birthdays or any other excuse I can find to get her ice cream for breakfast.” Shawn looked into the camera, “We love you Princess!”

“We love you Baby Girl!” Fiona said sending air kisses into the camera as the video ended with their smiling faces on the screen. Farrah reached out to the screen, wanting to go to her parents. Both Cameron and Kay’s heart broke for the little girl.

When Cameron closed the window, Farrah started to tear up. Cameron moved to take her from Kay but Kay was already acting on it. She ‘stood’ Farrah up on her lap while holding her upright under the arms, “Shhh... shhh... It’s okay Farrah. It’s okay... I know you miss your mama and dada.” She tried calming the baby down, it seemed to be working as Farrah’s silent tears were starting to cease. Farrah reached out her arms and Kay brought her closer so Farrah could wrap her little chubby arms around Kay’s neck. Kay just continued to hold the child, holding her with one arm and gently stroking the baby’s back with the other. Cameron smiled as he watched Kay calm her down, “What?” She whispered.

“Nothing... you’re just really good with her. Thank you.”

Kay gave a half smile, “I’m happy to help. If you ever need me, don’t hesitate to call =, even if it’s the middle of the night.”

“Thanks Kay.”

“Hey... why don’t you take this flash drive home, watch it and see if there could be anything useful on it?”

Cameron gave her a confused look which changed when she gave him a look which made him realize what she was talking about. This was so Johnny could see the videos too, “Uh, good idea.” He then glanced at Farrah who didn’t seem to be letting go of Kay anytime soon, “How should I... uh...”

Kay stood up, “I’ll take you home.” Cameron finally managed to have Farrah let go of Kay and put the baby in her car seat. Kay drove him and Farrah to his apartment. Kay parked in front of his building, “Remember, if you need anything at all, you can call me.”

Cameron took his seatbelt off and smiled at her, “Thanks Kay.” He then leaned over to stroke her cheek and then held her chin in his hand, “You really are amazing Kay.” He ran his thumb very lightly over her bottom lip. He then leaned in closer to close the gap between them.

The kiss was supposed to be short but Cameron let his lips linger on hers for a little while, not that Kay minded but she soon pushed him off, “I’ll see you in the morning Cameron.” She kissed his nose as he reluctantly pulled away, “Good night.”

“Good night Kay.” He took Farrah and her diaper bag out of the car, “Be careful.”

“You too.” Kay said as she started up her car and drove away.

Cameron went inside and in the elevator, he let go of a breath that he didn’t realize he was holding. His heart was beating out of his chest. Farrah let out a few baby babbles. Cameron sighed, “Yeah, I know... Kay’s something.” Farrah was actually babbling about unicorns but Cameron wasn’t pro at baby talk, “Can you keep a secret? Of course you can, you probably won’t even remember any of this.” He knelt down and looked at his little niece, “I know it’s soon to tell but... I think Kay’s the one.” Farrah grabbed his nose and giggled, “Okay, what is it with you and my nose?”

When he came back inside, Jonathan greeted him, “Hey baby brother. How were the in-laws?”

“Terrible people.” He took Farrah out of her carrier, “But I don’t think they’re killers.”

“How’s the kid doing?”

“Wanna hold her?” Cameron turned Farrah’s attention to Jonathan, “Farrah, wanna go to Uncle Johnny?” Farrah reached out her arms and Jonathan reluctantly took her, “Is there something wrong?”

“It’s just, I kept thinking about it all day and... me staying... is just going to land me back in prison.”

“Kay’s working on it. I don’t know what you did to her for her to be so cold around you but... she knows you’re innocent.”

“Like she said last time?”

“Hey...” Cameron raised an eyebrow, “That wasn’t her fault.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Johnny placed Farrah in her play pen, “I got the crib all set up by the way.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, I had nothing better to do.”

“How’d you manage to do it?”

Jonathan smirked, “I followed the instructions.”

“They were in French!”

“And the other side was in English.” Cameron looked away, “You’ve been busy making goo-goo eyes at Kay, I think you just didn’t notice.”

“I don’t make goo-goo eyes.” Cameron defended as Johnny rolled his eyes, “Oh by the way,” He took the flash drive out of his pocket, “In Fiona and Shawn’s personal belongings, we found a flash drive containing home movies and stuff, Kay thought I should bring it here so we could both watch it and maybe get an idea about who Fiona was a person and maybe see if we could find clues in the videos.”

Jonathan looked unsure but he sighed and nodded, “Let’s see it.” Cameron put the flash drive in his laptop and played that first video again. They then proceeded to see videos of Shawn and Fiona singing musical numbers together while in the car, videos of Shawn following the pregnant Fiona around and videos of Shawn and Fiona with baby Farrah from her earliest days to even a video that was made just a week ago. Farrah had fallen asleep midway through watching so Johnny had put her in her new crib and covered her with a fluffy pink blanket. As they watched the many videos, they too started to nod off. First Cam fell asleep then Johnny fell asleep with the last thing he saw being his sister’s smiling face on the laptop screen.

I wonder, wonder as to what could possibly happen next... what do you think?

[petri808]

Not Again

@random-rave

The Dragneel family decides to have a nice weekend at the waterpark, what could go wrong?​

“You know, Mira mentioned they finally lifted the ban on Fairytail at Ryuzetsu Land, I think that would be a fun trip for the kids.”

“Hell yeah!  A waterpark would be fun, we haven’t gone to something like that in so long.”

“Not since the kids were born,” Lucy smiles and relaxes against her husband’s arm, “and it was still just the two of us.”

He kisses her forehead before tilting his wife’s face towards him, “Akane was a lot of fun,” smirking, “but I think most of our activities centered around the bed that weekend.”

“How could I forget, considering we ended up with two souvenirs from that trip.”

“I know I won’t mind seeing my stunning wife in a bathing suit…”

“Oh please,” she smacks his arm and looks away, “Natsu, you know I’m still a little insecure about the baby weight…”

“Luce,” forcing her gaze back on him, “you are just as beautiful as the day I met you and if anyone says otherwise, they’ll find out what a barbecue chicken feels like.”

“Such the sweet talker,” running her fingers down his chest, “you know Lani’s asleep,” she peaks up from behind her lashes, “and the twins are still at school.”

Gasp!  “Mrs. Dragneel, are you hinting at something naughty?”

She giggles and shrugs her shoulders with a grin, “Why don’t you find out Mr. Dragneel?”

~~~~

As the Dragneel family checks into their inn, Lucy couldn’t help but feel the anxiety creeping over her.  It’s true that in the last 10 years since they’d visited Ryuzetsu Land, Natsu had settled down from the crazy fire ball he was in his youth to a bit more of a family man, but the memories of what he had done still worried her and she hoped the employees won’t remember them.  Lucy leans against the counter as the front desk finishes up the paperwork, watching her husband wrangling their three children.  

Lani, their 2-year-old daughter who sat perched atop her father’s shoulders was the vision of a sweet, little angel compared to her siblings, smiling and holding onto his hair while he struggled to keep a grip on the other two.  Lucy sighed, ‘Nashi and Ryuu…’  Rambunctious was an understatement when trying to describe her fraternal twins, demolition duo was more apt, or the guilds nickname for them, the pyro pair.  Her friends had mentioned Natsu was very much like them at 7 but of course there had only been one of him, there’s two of them, and two meant double the possibility of trouble.  ‘Oh Mavis, please not this weekend…’

‘Okay, towels, changes of clothes, floaties…’  “Does everyone have their bathing suits on?” she calls out to Natsu, who responds with a yeah.  ‘…book to read, diaper bag, keys…’ “Luce, you’re still in your Pj’s.”

“I’ll change in a minute.”  ‘Did I forget anything?’ sifting through her oversized bag, ‘I think I’ve got everything…  Money,’ chuckling to herself, ‘can’t forget that.’  With all their supplies packed, Lucy changes into a swimsuit, then throws one of her husbands oversized shirts on.

A pair of arms wraps around her waist, “Are ya ready now, cause the kids are gonna tear up this room if we take any longer.”

She leans into Natsu’s embrace, “Yeah…” sigh, “I’m ready.”  He kisses the back of her head before releasing her.  Lucy turns now to her two kids as Natsu scoops Lani up from the bed and places her on his shoulders.  “Alright you two,” pointing at the twins, “when we get to the park, you stay by us at all times, no running off on your own, no using your magic what-so-ever.  Got it?”  Nashi and Ryuu look at each other for a couple seconds then back to their mother before nodding like they understood.  Lucy hates it when they do that, like they’re communicating through some telepathic means, she narrows her eyes, “don’t make me call aunty Virgo to come punish you.”

“We promise mom,” Nashi grins

“Yeah, mom,” Ryuu grins as well, “we’ll behave.”

Natsu chuckles and shakes his head, his son sports the same grin as he used to whenever he was up to something Lucy wasn’t going to like.  “You two better listen to your mother, do you wanna get kicked out of the park?  We won’t be able to go back if that happens.”  Even Lucy looks at her husband in shock, where was this restraint 10 years ago when it would have come in handy?  The twins flush and start to fidget making their dad smirk, “That’s right, if you think I don’t know what’s going through your heads think again,” he points at them with his pointer and middle fingers, then back to his own eyes, “I was once your age and I’ve already been there, done that, ask your mom.” They look to see her nodding then turn back at their dad.  “So, think twice before you do anything you’re not supposed to.”

Strolling through the streets of Crocus, Natsu shoulders their belongings while holding his wife’s hand, Lani still riding high while the twins walk in front of them, stopping every so often to look at a vendor or shop window.  So far, so good, just a typical young family on vacation and even Lucy is starting to relax a little.  

“Wow, they really made it like new again!” The wide-eyed blonde scans across the span of attractions.  “You can’t even tell it was destroyed once.”

Nashi looks up at her mom, “Why, who destroyed it the last time?” But she follows the direction of her mother’s eyes and lets out a giggle, “it was daddy huh?”

The slayer just laughs nervously, “It was an accident, and technically it was aunty Erza’s fault for kicking me into the sign, but don’t you dare tell her that!”

The twins grin at their dad, already plotting…  “Alright, alright you two,” Lucy grabs their hands and pulls them along further into the park, “so what do you guys wanna do first, look at the aquarium, try the rides, the pool?”  

“Count me outta the rides,” points out Natsu, “I think I’ll go check out the aquarium with this little one,” squeezing Lani’s chubby legs, “then hang by the pool after.”

Lucy smiles at her baby, whose giggling and already pointing at the fish signs, “I think Lani will love all the fishes.  Well,” she looks down at her two eldest kids, “what’ll it be for you two?”

“Rides!” they both shout at the same time.  

“Hun,” giving Natsu a kiss, “we’ll find you by lunch time okay.”  He kisses his wife back, nods and heads off with Lani towards the aquarium entrance.  Keeping them by the hand, Lucy leads Nashi and Ryuu towards the kids rides, setting the ground rules that she’ll be watching them from one of the nearby lounge chairs and to not leave her sight.  Of course, they nod, agreeing to it all, but she knows better.  “I mean it!  Stay off the adult rides, no trying to sneak on cause you could get hurt and I’d rather enjoy this trip not end up sitting in a hospital.”

“Okay mom…”

“We get it…”

Lucy just sighs, “Then go, I’ll be right there,” she lets go of their hands and points to the chairs.  They waste no time in booking it towards the first ride they see, a medium sized slide while she plops down to watch, pulls off her shirt, adjusting her sunglasses and taking out her book.  

Meanwhile, Natsu and his toddler have made it into the aquarium.  Lani’s eyes grow ever wider as they pass by the glass enclosures filled with colorful marine life.  She pulls on her father’s hair in the direction she wants to go, this way and that, unable to make up her mind each time a new attraction catches her attention, part babbling, part using real words in her excitement.  He just laughs at how wound up she is getting but he knows he needs to watch her carefully.  Lani’s too young to understand how to control her magic and while it’s still not that strong yet, it sometimes comes out by accident and he’d rather not play fire-man in this confined space.  

They stop to watch the dolphins, “aunty Aqua?” Lani points at the glass

“They’re like aunty Aquarius?” he chuckles at his daughters mystified sounding question, “I guess it’s like her, they have similar tails.”  She beams and turns back to the glass, trying to reach out for them.  “Sorry baby, you can’t touch these ones.”  Lani pouts and flattens her palms against the glass, watching the dolphins swim and frolic, a couple even swim up, treading for a moment in front of the child before swimming away again.  That’s when he notices the child has gone a bit quiet.  “Lani?”  But she stares forwards as if concentrating and then he feels the heat rising.  “Lani, don’t…”  Flames burst from her hands, she’s trying to melt the glass!  Natsu quickly pulls her away, “Lani, no!”  She screams in frustration and her whole body erupts in fire.  “Stop that!” he scolds her and sucks up the flames before they can do any damage.  “That’s it, no more dolphins, I think it’s time for the pool little girl.”

Lucy hears a panicked scream and looks up worried her kids had done something, she scans the thongs of children looking for the pink and blonde heads but finds them simply waiting in line for another slide.  Figuring it was a false alarm she goes back to reading her book, every so often checking to see what they are up to.  But after about an hour she starts to relax, maybe they actually listened to her this time, praise Mavis.  

For an indoor facility, they really did a great job making it seem like a beautiful sunny day, ‘maybe too good a job’, Lucy laments as she fan’s herself a bit to cool off.  She adjusts her position on the lounge chair, lowering it just a tad to recline before resuming her reading.        

“Is mom still watching us?” Ryuu whispers to his sister.

“She’s back to her book, but…” Nashi takes a peak and grins, “looks like she’s nodding off.”

Her brother grins too, “wanna try turning the kiddie pool into a jacuzzi?”

“Boring, and dad might be there with Lani.”

“Flaming surfing in the Wave Rider?”

Punching his shoulder, “You’re on!”

About 10 minutes later, sure enough they see their mom’s book propped against her stomach and she’s out cold.  “Let’s go Ryuu, before she wakes back up,” Nashi grabs her brothers hand as the two race-off to the next ride.

Lani is still fussing wanting to go back to the dolphins, trying to squirm out of his grip as he walks over to the kiddie pool.  Natsu breathes a small sigh of relief to see it’s devoid of other kids, not that he wouldn’t want his daughter to find some playmates, it’s just that if she’s grumpy, who knows what she might throw at one of the them.  He affixes water wings to her arms before wading in, and happily once her feet hit the cool liquid she settles a bit.  She squeals, splashing him in the pool as he splashes her back, holding her at the waterline so she can kick and pretend to swim.  “You having fun again baby girl?”

Her giddy squeaks and little burbles having him laughing along with her.  “Want Aunty Aqua play with me too.”

“Lani, he sits down in the chest high water and holds her on his lap, “Aunty Aquarius is not here, and mom is watching your sister and brother.  Maybe after lunch mom can summon her…”

“Aunty Aqua!” the girl cries out and out of nowhere a blast of light temporarily blinds Natsu.

Shielding his eyes and trying to hold the fidgeting child, “What the?”

“Why the hell are you calling me?” Aquarius shouts before realizing something is wrong, “Wait, where is Lucy and how the hell did you summon me without her?”

“It wasn’t me,” he looks down at Lani who is reaching out for celestial spirit, “I think it was her.”

“The child summoned me without a key?”

He nods, “she was asking for you, called out your name and the next thing I know, you’re here.”

“Aunty Aqua!” Lani continues reaching out, wiggling her little digits, “Aunty Aqua!”

“Tch!” the feisty spirit grouses but reaches down and picks up the child who relaxes the second she’s in her aunts’ arms.  “Damn kid,” Aquarius can’t help but smirk a little, “you are gonna be stronger than your mother kid.”

“What makes you say that?”

She levels a glare at Natsu who cringes back, “Tch, cause I ain’t never seen a mage summon one of us without a key before!”

At the Wave Rider, Ryuu and Nashi are sporting boogie boards and using flames to propel them over and through the waves.  “It would be so cool if we could surf just with our feet!” Ryuu calls out to his sister.

“Yeah, but I don’t know if it’ll keep you upright,” laughing, “you might just fly out!”

“What’ll ya give me if I can?”

“How ‘bout nothin’!”  

“Tch, bet you couldn’t do it!”

“Oh yeah!”

“Yeah!  I’ll kick your ass at it!”

“No way a girl’s gonna beat me!”

“This one will!” Nashi pushes her upper body out of the water and flames up her legs, propelling herself up over the water.  “See!”

But Ryuu just cracks up, pointing at her, “The challenge is to surf not float!”

“Shut up!” she lobs a ball of fire at her brother who whacks it away.  “You try it then!”

“I will!” he copies his sister and uses the board as a prop, lighting up his feet, hovering over the water too.  “S-see!” his arms flail a bit trying to maintain an upright position, “I told you…” but he pushes his flames too hard and starts to lift way out of the water.  

“You idiot, control it…”

“Oh crap!” Ryuu is picking up speed…  “I-I can’t focus….”

“Ryuu…” but it’s too late, losing control, Nashi watches as her brother turns into a rocket and shoots towards the big Love Love Slider.  “Oh no, he’s gonna crash into the slide!” Not thinking straight either, Nashi pitches a fire ball at her brother, hoping to knock him off course, but Ryuu sees it coming and panics, flailing his arms to avoid it.  It sails past him and hits the rides large heart shaped entrance while the flames around his legs sputter and sends him crashing into the chute.  Nashi takes off running towards the ride to find her brother, loud cracking sounds begin to reverberate through the park.

Lucy bolts out of her sleep at the loud noises and immediately scans around for her kids.  “Nashi, Ryuu?!”  She turns her head towards the sounds only to see her pink-haired daughter running towards…  Her eyes widen, “Ryuu!” as she sees her blonde-headed son bobbing through the twists and turns of the slides chute.  Lucy takes off in their direction.

“What the hell was that explosion?” Natsu stands up and sees a cloud of gray smoke rising from the big slide.  “Oh shit!”  Something tells him, it’s the kids.

“Go,” Aquarius tells him, “I’ll watch this one,” bouncing Lani in her mini made water spouts.

“Are you…”

“Don’t make me say it twice!”

“Yikes!” he cringes and takes off at a sprint.

“Nashi!” Lucy screams the closer she gets to the ride, searching the now panicking crowds for her daughter, all the while keeping track of where on the ride her son is.  She see’s her husband.  “Natsu!”

“Lucy!” he heads for her first, “What the hell happened?”

“I-I fell asleep and, I don’t know those kids must’a snuck off!  Where’s Lani?”

He sniffs the air and tracks Nashi, “She’s with Aquarius,” he fills his wife in as they run towards their daughter.

“She summoned my spirit, without my key!” running towards the commotion, “of all the times for her to start this up…”

“Tch, can we deal with the mores pressing issue at hand?!” They both grab Nashi whose standing at the base of the slide watching the whole scene in shock.

The young girl, panics when she’s grabbed from behind but as soon as she sees it’s her parents the tears burst free.  “M-mom, I-I’m so-sorry!  We-we were just playing and…”

“Save it kid,” her father cuts her off, “we’ll talk about it after I go save your idiot brother!”  Lucy tightens her hold on Nashi’s arm, “Just stay with your mother!”

The little girl nods, wiping her face of the tears that keep falling.  “Young lady, you two are definitely in big trouble!”

With Natsu racing along the track trying to figure out the best way to reach Ryuu, the frazzled blonde hears deep cracking sounds above them and looks up, eyes bulging when she realizes the giant heart has broken loose and is falling in their direction!  ‘Shit!  Not again!’  Lucy pulls her daughter into her arms, turns to run but it’s too late and the bottom of the heart swings, hits, launching them into the air.  Nashi is screaming, clutching to her mom as the poor woman can only hold tight and pray.  “Close your eyes baby!”

The dragon slayer hears his wife and daughter scream and sees them flying through the air, his heart drops and all the blood rushes from his face, “Lucy!  Nashi!” he turns back towards his son, desperately trying to figure out what to do, who does he save?  “Fuck!”  Realizing his son will simply land in the pool, Natsu turns towards his wife and daughter but sees they have luckily landed on another part of the slide.  He almost stumbles in his stride, uttering a thanks to Mavis that his family will be fine, and books it to the end of the ride.

Lucy braces herself for a bone breaking impact, shielding her daughter with her body, but seconds later a cushioned fall, albeit a wet cushion, followed by the feeling of rushing water breaks her out of panic mode.  She opens her eyes to see they’ve landed in another part of the same slide; it’s like de ja vu without the psycho shouting love rival!  Exhale, “Nashi, we’re gonna be okay.”  Looking down she sees Natsu running towards the pool.  “We just need to ride this out till the end.”  Her daughter clings on nodding, but with a worried and tearful expression and Lucy can’t help but smile that her kid still need’s her for comfort.  They are growing up so quickly…

“Well brat,” Aquarius puts the child back down in the shallow water, “what do you wanna do while we wait for your parents?”

“Bubbles!” the child squeals and slaps the water a few times, “Aunty Aqua make bubbles!”

“Bubbles, huh?” she waves her hand over the water and soon the kiddie pool is filled with them, frothy white like the ending surge of a wave.  

Lani squeals in giddy repartee as she tries to batt and pop as many as she can, splashing and kicking.  Aquarius tries to hide her amusement at the babbling little girl who looks so much like her mother, minus the pink hair.  Lucy used to be like this when she was younger, her mind taking her back to those days when that lonely child would summon her to play.  ‘Tch, why do kids always do this to me?’  But Lani was such a happy, bubbly child compared that lonely Lucy, Aquarius is secretly pleased that her old friend had found a new group of friends and now has a family of her own, and no matter that she won’t show it, this celestial spirit will always be there for them.  ‘I love these brats like a mother, tch, am I getting softer with age?’      

With all of Lani’s excitement, the bubbles eventually thin away and her babbling turns to frustration again.  But just as Aquarius is about make more the child’s body heats up, the spirits eyes widen in surprise to see the water around the little girl start to simmer.  ‘Is this kid a fire mage too?!’  The heat of the water doesn’t bother the spirit and she just floats there, watching as the simmer turns to a boil and Lani is happily screaming about bubbles again.    

“Oh, ho, so you wanted bigger bubbles?”   A loud boom somewhere in the park makes Aquarius turn briefly, she senses her owner is somewhere in the midst of it, oh well, she was sure she’d be fine, so she looks back to her ward.  “Do you want something bigger?”  When the little girl claps her hands and nods with a beaming smile, Aquarius scoops her up.  “Let’s make a new ride for this park!”

By the time Lucy and Nashi splash down into the pool, she could see her husband and son in an intense conversation with park officials.  Not surprising.  Lucy quickly swims over along with her daughter to keep Natsu from escalating it.  

“What’s going on here?” she asks, still trying to catch her breath.  

Natsu turns to her, “They want to send a bill for all the damage and they said we have to leave.”

“I’m sorry ma’am, but your kids did destroy part of the ride, we’ll need to shut it down for repairs and that costs money.  We don’t want to risk them getting into any more trouble either.”

“But…”

“No Natsu,” she grabs his hand, “don’t, they’re right,” turning to the workers, “but please don’t ban Fairytail again, we’ll make sure you…”  A massive group of screaming has everyone turning their heads to the other side of the park, and immediately Lucy knows, it’s her.    

“What the hell is that?” One of the park employees screams as they watch a tsunami sized wave crest out of the Wave Rider.

“Oh Mavis, is Aquarius crazy!”  Lucy grabs her husband, and thrusts her daughters hand into his, “Here you hold onto them, go get our stuff and I’ll meet you at the exit,” then takes off in the direction of the ride.

When Lucy arrives at the Wave Rider, she climbs to the top of the staging area and sees her spirit holding her daughter and they are surfing the massive waves!  Lani is excitedly screaming and Aquarius is smiling, ‘she’s fucking laughing!’  It’s so rare for Lucy to see Aquarius not just smiling but really, ‘happy…’ that is almost hurt to stop this.  Tears well up at the scene of her daughter and spirit having such a good time, but it can’t go on before any more damage occurs.  “Aquarius!!!”

“Eh?” the spirit turns her head and sees her owner screaming from the, “What!”

“You gotta stop!  You’re gonna break this ride!”

“Tch, Like I care, this brat is having fun and so am I!”

“Please,” Lucy resorts to begging, “Fairytail is gonna kill us for causing another bill,” and tears, maybe tears will work, “Please Aquarius!”

“Ugh!” she rides a final wave towards her owner, inundating her at the same time.  Lucy shrieks and braces for the large wave making her spirit cackle in delight, grinning as her owner wipes at her face and shakes off all the water.  Once composed, she hands Lani over.  “Next time don’t make me babysit!”

“T-Thank you Aquarius,” Lucy takes her child who’s unaware of the havoc they had just created.  “I’m sorry Lani summoned you…”

“Keh!  I had fun with the brat,” grin, “but you’re gonna have your hands full with her.  Damn kid can summon without a key, I’m guessing she’s a dragon slayer like her old man too.”

Lucy blinks, “You had fun,” her eyes moist over again, “you know when we take them to the beach, i-if you want to play with Lani…”

“Tch, maybe…  If I’m not on a date,” she smiles and messes up Lani’s hair, “behave for your mom you little brat,” before disappearing.

Lani starts to cry when Aquarius leaves, “Aunty Aqua…”

“Oh baby,” Lucy cradles her daughter, “you’ll see her again, but you can’t just summon aunty whenever you feel like it...”

Of course, the moment the hotel room door closed behind the Dragneel family, both parents laid into their twins about all the destruction and chaos they had caused.  The kids cried, nothing new, promised not to do it again, Lucy wasn’t holding her breath as she sighed and couldn’t help but remind herself she should have seen this coming when she decided to have kids with of all people, Natsu.  It really was no surprise to the couple that the park was going to send a bill to Fairytail and threatened to ban the guild once again but hopefully they won’t punish everyone for one family’s crazy kids.  As for Lani, whether the two-year-old really understood what they were trying to explain would remain to be seen.

After punishments we’re dished out, everyone had bathed, and kids were out cold, the weary couple sits on their own bed ready to pass out.  Lucy leans against her husband, eyes closing, while his arms hold her tight and rests his head against hers.  “Luce,” he chuckles, “I guess now I know how you all must have felt when I destroyed the park.”

She snorts, “you mean every time you destroy something.”

“Am I really that bad?”

“You were, but you’ve mellowed with age,” cuddling closer, “but you did always make things more exciting and I love you for that.”

He kisses the top of her head then shifts them on their sides under the blankets, “of all the missions and bad guys we’ve dealt with over the years, I think our kids top them all.”

Lucy yawns through a laugh, “very true.”

“But do you regret having these kids… with me?”

She turns around and grabs his face, “idiot, don’t you ever think that!  Yes, it drives me a little crazy, but I married you fully aware of what I was getting into, and I’ll never regret any of it.”

Moisture pools in Natsu’s green hues.  He never thought that the love he felt for this woman could grow any deeper but the conviction behind her eyes…  Mavis it makes him burns hotter than any fire he’s ever dared to consume.  Well he did dare, didn’t he…  

“Dear God woman, what did I ever do to deserve you?” pulling her in for a round of kisses, “gah… I wish… we had a separate room!”

[kianlawleysprincess]

Family Zoo Dag

I’m so excited for today! Harper and Charlie both love animals so much and today we're taking them to the zoo! The zoo is Kian and I's favorite place to go on dates, and this is the first time we're taking Them. "Are you ready babe?" Kian hollered up the stairs "Almost!" I added the finishing touches to my makeup and headed down the stairs. Kian had The girls in their car seats already and had the diaper bag packed. Honestly he's got this dad thing down. He's so good with them and at taking care of them. We got into the car and Kian started driving to the zoo. "Hey babe?" He asked "Yeah babe?" "I was thinking about Vlogging the zoo. We don't have to post it, but I think just having vlog as a memory will be really cool." "Yeah babe! That sounds fun! Who knows! We could start one of those family vlogging channels." I laughed He chuckled and shook his head. A few minutes later we arrived at the zoo and he walked around to the trunk to get out the stroller. Before he got The girls out of the car he stopped and pulled out his camera. "Hey guys! It's Kian & Y/N with two special little ladies, known as Harper and Charlotte. Today we're going to the Zoo! And we're vlogging!" He smiled and turned the camera off. He got The girls out of their seats and put them in the stroller. I took the camera from him and put the strap around my wrist. I turned it on as we started walking into the zoo and filmed Kian pushing The girls. We wheeled up to the first exhibit which was some monkeys and Charlie cooed at the sight of them. I walked over to the front of the stroller and showed her face as she watched the monkeys squealing. I turned the camera towards myself and said "Monkeys are Charlie’s favorite-" Kian piped in and cut me off "that's why I call her monkey!" He smiled and I giggled. He took the camera from me and I bent down  and picked up Charlie while Kian held Harper’s hand. We played with the monkeys and then walked over to the next exhibit. When we got to the Lions Harper got quiet and she just watched them in awe. The momma was giving the baby a bath and Harper was smiling from ear to ear. I looked over to Kian who was taking a picture and I started laughing. He turned to a lady next to us and asked her to take a picture of all of us and she smiled and took Kian's phone. He put his arm behind my back and kissed my cheek. "Wait can you take a couple more?" He asked her. I turned and looked at him and he was down on one knee. "Kian." A tear fell from my eye and I smiled "Y/n I've loved you since the day you came into my life four years ago. You're my best friend and my other half. You gave me the two best gifts I could have ever asked for, Harper and Charlie. Watching you adapt to being a mom was like watching the sun rise in the morning. You're a natural and you inspire me more than anyone in my life. I don't want there to ever be a day where you aren't mine. Will you marry me?" Kian looked up and our eyes met, both filled with tears and I nodded. "Yes!" He stood up and kissed me and and slipped the most gorgeous ring on my finger. I looked up and saw Bobby with his camera and I laughed. "Hi Boob." He gave us a hug and kissed Harper on the head. "Okay, well you four enjoy your day. I'll see you at home!" He walked away and I turned around as Kian grabbed his phone back from the lady and thanked her. He grabbed the stroller and we kept walking to the next exhibit. "Kian I love you." I kissed his cheek. "I love you more, Fiancé." He smiled. I laughed and shook my head. We walked around the zoo and filmed Harper and Charlie playing with the animals, and Kian playing with the girls. I took a couple pictures of Kian and the girls in front of the dolphins and then someone was getting cranky and it was getting to be nap time. We headed back to the car and made the short drive back to our house. Once we got inside JC gave us a hug and took Charlie from Kian. "You two go out & celebrate. I'll watch the munchkins." Kian took my hand in his and we headed back out to the car. "Hungry?" He asked and I nodded. We got dinner and went and sat on the beach. We took a selfie showing off my new ring and sent it to his mom, dad, and siblings. We FaceTimed my parents and told them the exciting news and my mom cried. After we hung up the phone Kian turned to me. "I can't wait until you get pregnant again. I'm not going on tour this time! I want to be with you the entire time." He kissed my cheek and I smiled. "Me either babe! I can't wait for Harper and Charlie to have another little sibling." I leaned my head on his shoulder. "When do you want to get married?" I asked. "Whenever you want! Sooner rather than later though. Like max a year away." He kissed my hair. "Let's get married this summer. Maybe on the beach, with our families and close friends. Just a small ceremony. All I really need is you & Harper and Charlie." He wrapped his arms around me. "Anything you want Princess."

[acti-veg]

People have been eating animals since they were created??? Why should we stop now??? Cause they're are a lot dying everyday? That's not a farm problem that's an over production problem

Created? By who? Are you suggesting that independent, intelligent, sentient beings were created by some deity purely so that we could pack them in factory farms and slit their throats? If your argument rests on that assumption then you’re not going to convince very many people; certainly not me. That something has been practised a long time is not morally relevant to whether or not we should continue to do it today, that’s a fallacy. It’s not an “overproduction problem” either, we breed so many animals into existence because people create demand by buying animal products; people like you. 

I’d hope that the fact that animals are suffering horrifically purely for purposes of taste, convenience and tradition would be enough of a reason to stop eating them, but if you really need more reasons to stop eating animals, then here, have a whole bunch:

Cows only produce milk when pregnant and after birthing

Dairy cows restrained and forcibly impregnated

Dairy calves taken from their mothers

Calf seperation causes extreme distress

Dairy calf mother’s exhibit prolonged depressive states

Dairy calves killed after birth

Dairy cows killed when production slows

22.1% of female cows sent to slaughter pregnant

Throat slitting as kill method standard industry practice

Egg hens live 12-18 months

Hens kept in constant bright light to manipulate cycles

Poultry have the end of their beaks seared off

Poultry cannibalising due to overcrowding

Chickens dragged through electrified pools

Male chicks ground up alive

Free range does not mean kept outside

Free range no requirement for number of birds, space per bird, or slaughter method

Most piglets castrated without anasthetic

Most caught fish die from suffocation and stress

Current demand for animal products can only be met by factory farming

Illegal in several states to film conditions inside slaughterhouses

Emerging diseases in managed populations of bees could be a significant cause of wild bee decline

Queen bees artificially inseminated

Queen bees wings clipped

Beekeepers using smoke to panic and disorient bees

Beekeepers burning hives during winter to cut costs

Managed honey bees compete with wild pollinators and lower the effectiveness of their pollination

Meat consumption driving global species extinction

UN urges move to meat and dairy-free diet

UN’s report on environmental impact of animal agriculture

Animal waste causing ocean dead zones

Beef production linked to deforestation

Global meat production and consumption continue to rise

Animal agriculture water use unsustainable

1,000 gallons of water produce 1 gallon of milk

1/3 of planet’s  land surface and 2/3 of available agricultural land used for grazing farmed animals

2.5 acres of land are used per cow

Between 65% and 88% of  the deforestation of the Amazon is due to cattle ranching

Leather production uses harmful acids, salts, fungicides, bactericides, chromium, sulphides and sulphates

100% of water used in tanning discharged as poisonous effluent.

Animal agriculture responsible for 18% of all greenhouse gas emissions

Emissions for agriculture projected to increase 80% by 2050

7 million pounds of excrement  produced by animals raised for food in US per minute

Farm with 2,500 dairy cows produces same amount of waste as city of 411,000 people.

2.7 trillion marine animals pulled from oceans each yeah

For every 1 pound of fish caught up to 5 pounds of unintended marine species caught and discarded as by-kill

2 billion pounds of bycatch pet year

300,000 small whales, dolphins and porpoises caught in nets per year

37 pounds of “feeder” fish to produce 1 pound of commercially sold fish

Fishing severely damaging local ecosystems

Wild bees better pollinators than domestic honey bees

Domestic honey bees spreading diseases to wild bees

Domestic honey bees not endangered, many species of wild bees are.

Thousands of seals being shot to keep salmon industry going

Eating vegan could save 8.1 million human lives per year

Animal agriculture severely effecting local communities

Human rights abuses rife in slaughterhouses

Prevlance of PTSD and alcohol abuse in slaughterhouses

Alcohol abuse prevalent in slaughterhouse workers

Slaughterhouse workers have high rates of injury

Many slaughterhouse workers poor immigrants with no other choice

Workers at animal farms exposed to antibiotic resistant bacteria

Many workers in slaughterhouses and meat-packing plants face real risk of losing limbs

Animal agriculture industries delay compensation claims from workers and take reprisals against those who file them

Poultry workers denied breaks, forced to wear diapers

Livestock consume 70% of all grain we produce

Livestock consume 75% of all soy we produce

Livestock accounts for 1/5 of all water use

An acre of land can produce 40,000 pounds of potatoes, 50,000 pounds of tomatoes, or 250 pounds of beef.

Water footprint of any animal product larger than water footprint of a wisely chosen crop product with equivalent nutritional value.

Farmed animals take in more calories than they give out in meat

4 billion people globally live on a primarily plant based diet

Animal agriculture heavily subsidised by taxpayer

Indigenous communities threatened by ranching

Counties with larger nonwhite populations home to more factory farms

Animal agriculture industries structurally are racist

Over-fishing threatens the food security of around 200 million people

Food shortages could force the world to give up meat

American Dietetic Association on vegan diets

National Health Service on vegan diets

Academy of Nutrition and Dietitics on vegan diets

US National Library of Medicine on vegan diets

American Journal of Clinical Nutrition on vegan diets

UN report on impact of meat on health

Physician’s Committee on meat consumption and cancer link

Red and processed meats linked to mortality

Eating red meat may shorten lifespan

World Watch Institute health risks of rise in global meat consumption

Antibiotic-resistant bacteria in meat

Vegans have significantly lower risk of early death

Vegans have substantially lower death rates than meat-eaters

80% of antibiotics sold in US fed to livestock

Extensive use of antibiotics in intensive livestock production major cause of the increase in antibiotic-resistant diseases in UK

Swine flu pandemic linked to factory farming

Bird flu pandemic linked to factory farming

Gut bacteria on 97% of retail chicken breasts

More e-coli deaths caused by poultry than any other commodity

Considering the only honest reason most meat eaters can give in favour of eating animals is “because they taste good,” that should be plenty.

[techcrunchappcom]

New Post has been published on https://techcrunchapp.com/2020-nfl-season-bold-predictions-final-record-for-every-team-playoff-and-super-bowl-picks/

2020 NFL season: Bold predictions, final record for every team, playoff and Super Bowl picks

Guys, I don’t want to jinx anything, but I think the 2020 NFL season is actually going to happen. 

The first game of the year is now just two days away, and unless this country comes under attack by fire-breathing hornets between now and Thursday — which does seem at least somewhat plausible based on how the year has gone so far — I’m thinking we’re going to get football. 

With the start of the NFL season now here, that means it’s time for everyone’s favorite thing: PREDICTIONS. 

I’ll be honest, I have high expectations for my predictions this year and that’s mainly because I’ve been locked in my house for the past five months quarantined with a baby. During that period, the only two things I’ve done are: 1. Change diapers and 2. Try to figure out who’s going to win this year’s Super Bowl. Although I’d like to think I’ll hit the nail on the head with all of my predictions this year, the fact of the matter is that this could end up being one of the most unpredictable years in NFL history. Not only was the preseason eliminated, but NFL teams did their best to shut down the flow of information coming out of their training camps, which means I have no idea which rookies have looked good or if any aging veterans look like they should be thinking about retirement. 

I mean, one team has a 41-year-old player on its practice squad in case you’re wondering how bizarre things have gotten this year. 

Before we get to my predictions, let me explain how things are going to work here: I’m going to go through each division and predict each team’s final record. After that, I’ll be making a bold prediction for each division. Once you roll through the divisional portion of these predictions, you’ll see my playoff picks and eventually, my Super Bowl champion. In two of the past five years, my preseason Super Bowl pick has ended up winning it all, so you might want to scroll down and check out that prediction first to see if I’m picking your favorite team. 

Also, since we all know that making fun of someone’s predictions is half the fun of reading predictions, you can send all your hate tweets to me on Twitter by clicking here, and just so you know, Broncos fans, I’m already mentally preparing for your hate tweets. 

Finally, if you’re wondering how I did last season, I predicted the exact win total of five different teams. I also correctly predicted that the Packers would make it to the NFC title game and that the Chiefs would win the Super Bowl. On the other hand, I completely whiffed on San Francisco. I had the 49ers going 6-10 last season, and they responded to that prediction by laughing in my face all the way to the Super Bowl. Niners fans also laughed in my face.

Alright, that’s enough jibber-jabber about last year, let’s get to the 2020 predictions.

AFC East

1. *Patriots: 10-6 2. *Bills: 9-7 3. Dolphins: 6-10 4. Jets: 4-12

AFC East bold prediction: Cam Newton leads the NFL in total touchdowns

No one knows if the Patriots are going to be any good this year and that’s mainly because no one knows if Cam Newton is going to be any good. The former Panthers quarterback hasn’t been able to stay healthy over the past few seasons, so there’s no guarantee he’s going to be able stay healthy in New England. That being said, I actually think Newton is going to have a monstrous year. For one, the Patriots are going to have the element of surprise on their side in 2020. For the past two decades, every opponent knew what the Patriots offense was going to do (even if they couldn’t stop it). This year, no one has any idea what the Patriots are going to do on offense, and because of that, it could be tough to stop. Also, Newton gives the Patriots something they never had with Tom Brady: A quarterback who is a threat to run the ball. If Newton can throw 30 touchdown passes this year and rush for 10 more, that will likely be enough to lead the NFL in total touchdowns, and that’s exactly what I’m predicting. 

AFC North

1. *Steelers: 11-5 2. *Ravens: 11-5 3. Browns: 8-8 4. Bengals: 7-9

AFC North bold prediction: Joe Burrow sets NFL record for most TD passes by a rookie

This record is currently held by an AFC North rival (Baker Mayfield), which means it will probably feel especially gratifying for Burrow if he’s able to knock the Browns quarterback out of the record book. Back in 2018, Mayfield threw 27 touchdown passes, which broke Peyton Manning’s record of 26 that had stood since 1997. Burrow is going to have a huge advantage over Mayfield, and that’s because the Bengals quarterback is going to be the starter from Day 1, which means he’ll definitely be starting 16 games this season (Mayfield only started 13 games for the Browns in 2018). 

The other upside for Burrow is that he’s going to have a lot of receiving talent to work with in Cincinnati with guys like A.J. Green, Tyler Boyd, Tee Higgins, Auden Tate, Alex Erickson and John Ross, plus running backs Joe Mixon and Gio Bernard. Also, there’s a good chance we’ll see Burrow put up big numbers this year no matter how the Bengals play. On one hand, if the Bengals are good, it will likely be because Burrow is having a phenomenal rookie season. On the other hand, if the Bengals are bad, we could see Burrow put up some huge numbers in garbage time, which could help his touchdown total.

AFC South

1. *Colts: 10-6 2. *Titans: 9-7 3. Texans: 7-9 4. Jaguars: 3-13

AFC South bold prediction: Doug Marrone is the first coach fired during the 2020 season

In most cases, when a team makes it to the AFC Championship game, they try to build on that success, but for some reason the Jaguars decided to do the opposite. Since making it to the AFC title game in 2017, all the Jaguars have done is completely dismantle their entire roster. The final two nails in the coffin came last week when the team dumped both Yannick Ngakoue (in a trade) and Leonard Fournette. After two straight last-place finishes over the past two seasons, Marrone is definitely on the hot seat this year and if the Jaguars get off to a slow start, he might not last long in Jacksonville. The Jags have a bye in Week 7 this season and if the team shoots off to a 1-6 or 0-7 start, it won’t be surprising if owner Shad Khan finally pulls the plug on the Marrone era in Jacksonville.  

AFC West

1. *Chiefs: 13-3 2. Chargers: 7-9 3. Raiders: 6-10 4. Broncos: 5-11

AFC West bold prediction: The Broncos are worse than they were in 2019

The Broncos have been a trendy pick this year as a dark horse playoff team and a big reason for that is because of the way they finished the season. Over the final five weeks of 2019, Drew Lock led them to a 4-1 record, which allowed Denver to finish the season 7-9. One of the biggest question marks in Denver is the offensive line, which is a problem, because that’s not an issue you want to be worrying about when you have a second-year quarterback under center. The Broncos might have quite a few weapons, but those weapons don’t really mean anything if Lock never has time to get them the ball. 

NFC East

1. *Cowboys: 11-5 2. Eagles: 9-7 3. Washington: 4-12 4. Giants: 3-13

NFC East bold prediction: Dak Prescott wins MVP

I’m starting to think that Jerry Jones actually had a diabolical plan going into 2020 that involved not giving Dak a long-term deal so that he’ll be playing with a chip on his shoulder the entire season, and I’m also starting to think that this plan might work. Last year, Dak finished with the second-most passing yards in the NFL and the fourth-most touchdown passes, despite playing in a run-friendly offense. With a more pass-happy coach and even more offensive weapons, we’ll likely see some even bigger numbers from Prescott. Oh, and let’s not forget that he plays for America’s team, which basically means that you’re automatically in the MVP conversation as long as you finish above .500 and I absolutely think the Cowboys are going to finish above .500. 

NFC North

1. *Packers: 9-7 2. Vikings: 9-7 3. Lions: 8-8 4. Bears: 6-10

NFC North bold prediction: No team in the division will hit double-digit wins

If there’s one division where it feels like every team took at least a small step back this year, it’s the NFC North. The Packers added zero receiving weapons for Aaron Rodgers, the Vikings lost half their starters on defense, Bears coach Matt Nagy is being forced to start a quarterback he doesn’t have any confidence in  and the Lions are the Lions. Basically, it’s a recipe for disaster and disaster in this case will be a season where none of the teams in the division hit the 10-win mark. This qualifies as bold, because it’s only happened one time in the 18-year history of the NFC North. Since the division’s first year in 2002, the only time none of the teams hit the double-digit mark came in 2013 when the Packers won the NFC North with just eight wins. 

NFC South

1. *Buccaneers: 11-5 2. *Saints: 10-6 3. Falcons: 8-8 4. Panthers: 4-12

NFC South bold prediction: Buccaneers win the division for the first time in 13 years

With Tom Brady now in Tampa, this might not seem like a bold prediction, but according to our friends at William Hill Sportsbook, it definitely qualifies as bold, and that’s because the Saints are the overwhelming favorite to win the division this year. With just days to go until the start of the season, the Saints’ odds of winning the division are sitting at -120 (bet $100 to win $83.30) while the Bucs have much worse odds at +160 (bet $100, win $160). Not only will I be riding the Brady train this year, but I’ll be riding it all the way to the NFC title game. Unfortunately for the Buccaneers though, I don’t have Tampa Bay winning that game. To find out who I have beating them, you’ll have to keep reading. 

NFC West

1. *Seahawks: 11-5 2. *49ers: 10-6 3. *Rams: 9-7 4. Cardinals: 8-8

NFC West bold prediction: All four teams finish at .500 or above

Most people seem to agree this year that the NFC West is the most stacked division in the NFL, so you might be wondering why this prediction qualifies as a bold prediction and the reason for that is because it’s never happened before. The NFC West has existed since 1970, and in the 50 years since then, there’s never been a single season where every team in the division finished at .500 or above. If it’s ever going to happen, this feels like the year the four teams could get it done. 

NFC Playoffs

Teams: 1. Cowboys 2. Seahawks 3. Buccaneers 4. Packers 5. 49ers 6. Saints 7. Rams

Wild Card

(2) Seahawks 20-16 over (7) Rams

(3) Buccaneers 30-27 over (6) Saints

(5) 49ers 34-20 over  (4) Packers

Divisional

(1) Cowboys 27-23 over (5) 49ers

(3) Buccaneers 31-24 over (2) Seahawks

NFC Championship

(1) Cowboys 34-30 over (3) Buccaneers

AFC Playoffs

Teams: 1. Chiefs 2. Steelers 3. Colts 4. Patriots 5. Ravens 6. Titans 7. Bills

Wild Card

(2) Steelers 23-20 over (7) Bills

(3) Colts 27-24 over (6) Titans

(5) Ravens 31-23 over (4) Patriots

Divisional 

(1) Chiefs 33-30 over (5) Ravens

(3) Colts 34-27 over (2) Steelers

AFC Championship

(1) Chiefs 31-24 over (3) Colts

Super Bowl LV in Tampa (CBS)

Cowboys 34-31 over Chiefs

Playoffs bold prediction: Cowboys end 25-year Super Bowl drought

If you know any Cowboys fans, then you’re probably well aware that at the start of every NFL season, there’s nothing they like to talk about more than why this will finally be the year the Cowboys win the Super Bowl. It’s pretty much happened every year for the past 25 seasons. Although I usually laugh in their face after they make the prediction, this year I won’t be doing that, and that’s because I ACTUALLY AGREE WITH THEM. I think Jerry Jones might have brainwashed me because I think THE DALLAS COWBOYS ARE GOING TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL, and they’re going to do it by knocking off the defending champion Kansas City Chiefs. 

Basically, not only am I predicting that Dak Prescott will win the MVP this year (as you read about earlier), but I’m also predicting that he’ll lead the Cowboys to the Lombardi Trophy. I think what I’m trying to say here is that Jerry Jones better get his check book ready because Dak’s asking price is going to triple if all of this happens. 

The biggest reason I like the Cowboys this year is because they won’t be held back by coaching. Although Mike McCarthy isn’t a Hall of Fame coach by any means, he certainly feels like a step up from Jason Garrett, and let’s not forget, he also has Super Bowl coaching experience because he won a Lombardi Trophy during his time in Green Bay. 

Also, I’m not sure if fans will be allowed to attend, but if they are, this Super Bowl would probably give us some amazing tailgating and that’s because the parking lot at Raymond James would be filled with both Kansas City and Texas barbecue, which is important to note, because we could finally decide which one is actually better. 

Finally, if my predictions all pan out — and I’m sure they will — here’s what the top of the NFL Draft order will look like next April, and based on those first three picks, maybe they should move the event back to New York for the year. 

Order of first five picks for 2021 NFL Draft

1. Jaguars 2. Giants 3. Jets  4. Washington 5. Panthers

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