#Dua To Stop Husband Cheating | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moondustis · 4 years

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perfect crime (m)

pairing: jung jaehyun + reader / seo johnny + reader genre: smut, angst word count: 6,8k summary: There’s two rules when you start a no-strings kind of relationship: 1. Don’t fall in love and 2. Don’t make it into something bigger than it is. And well, let’s just say you were not the best at following rules. song recs: perfect crime - tinashe / triggered - jhené aiko / break my heart - dua lipa

Here’s the thing, you and Jung Jaehyun are not dating.

It’s actually far from that. The two of you just happened to hook up one night, then that became another night and now his number on your phone is what you call when you need a little body heat sometimes. So there, you both are just friends with benefits, if you will. Maybe not even friends, acquaintances with benefits would be a better way to describe it.

And here’s another thing. Maybe, just maybe. Like really, hypothetically speaking, you are falling in love with Jaehyun. Which is the number one rule not to break when you get involved in things like that, but it seems like your brain doesn’t work very well when Jaehyun is fucking you and it just mistakes his caring way of eating you out with something else.

But it’s fine, you’re a big girl, who knows how to deal and conceal your big girl feelings. It’s not like you’re going to do something drastic like confess to him or dye your hair pink at 3AM while listening to Beyonce sing about her cheating husband and feel like you too have been cheated.

It’s fine.

☾

“Your hair looks good like this.” Jaehyun whispers on your ear, sending shivers all over your body. “Pink suits you.”

Weird thing to say when he’s balls deep inside of you, but your heart and pussy seem to enjoy it because it makes you clench around him. “Oh.” You dumbly say, fingers gripping the sheets on his bed as he gives you a nice thrust. “T-Thanks.”

He’s good at this, like really good. And it helps that he has the biggest cock you had ever seen. He moves his hips faster, and the sounds of skin slapping makes your head spin. “Fuck. You feel so good, baby. Taking me so well.” His voice is raspy as he nuzzles at your jaw, pressing open mouthed kisses all over it.

“Yes — Yes. Please” You pant as his hands move down your sides, one just lingering on your chest. “Feel so full.”

He likes when you say shit like that because he knows how big he is. Has asked you to say it many times before. “Yeah?” One hand moves down, pressing at your navel and he gives you an insane look. “Feel me here? On your tummy?”

You nod, feeling so close to your high and it just gets better when he presses his thumb to your clit, circling fast on it. He seems close too, by the way his thrusts are getting erratic.

“Fuck, fuck. I’m gonna cum.” He moans and you raise your hips, chasing your own release. You’re so close, so close. Almost there. “Fuck, Yerim.”

It’s like a bucket of cold water has been dropped on you. You watch as Jaehyun comes inside the condom, his eyes shutting closing and lips parting. You just stand there, frozen and feeling extremely small.

“What the fuck.” You whisper, slowly getting out of the shock of what just happened. “What the FUCK?”

“What?” He asks just as he pulls out of you, pulling his underwear up like he has no clue that he just said someone else’s name while fucking you.

You get up, now angry with the blood in your system just starting to boil. “Are you fucking kidding me?” You search for your underwear on the floor, pulling it up, followed by your pants. “Who the fuck is Yerim?”

“What the fuck are you - Oh.” He finally realizes what he’s done, giving you a pathetic look that makes you livid. “Shit. I’m sorr-“

“Yeah, shit.” You roll your eyes. Is he dumb? Does he really think this is something a simple sorry can fix? You put on your shirt and move to grab your purse and keys. “This — Whatever this is — It’s over now.

He finally takes action, getting up from the bed and trying to touch you but you walk away. “Wait —“

“You’re an asshole, you know that? I don’t care that you are fucking other people.” Yes, you do. “But saying their name while you’re fucking me is a bit too much.”

He looks like a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing as he looks for the right words to say.

“Don’t fucking call me again.” Is the last thing you say before you are slamming the door shut.

Maybe this time you’ll just shave off your head completely.

☾

You don’t actually end up shaving your head. In fact, you get over the whole thing pretty fast. And Jaehyun, being such a nice guy, helps by not calling you even once just as you asked him to. Probably because he was too busy fucking Yerim, or whatever her name was.

Ok, maybe you weren’t that over it yet, but you were getting there.

“Aaaaargh.” You grunt out of nowhere, throwing yourself in the couch both your roommates are lounging around. Anne, a girl you had met on your first year of college and instantly clicked with, looks at you like you are crazy.

“Can you stop doing that? It’s the third time today you just make an weird noise out of nowhere.” She points out and Jisoo, the other roommate and biggest scorpio you had ever met, hums in agreement.

Your whine is childish and you would feel bad for bothering your friends, but right now what you need is for them to feel bad for you. “Please have some respect for my suffering. Your fake sniffles does nothing to them. “I just really need someone to dick me down, okay? Or else I’ll go crazy.”

“Dickpression.” Jisoo says and you almost laugh. She was right. “You need to stop being dramatic, for starters.”

“Why don’t you just call Jaehyun or whatever his name was?” Anne says and you gasp at the same time Jisoo lets out a hiss. Anne wasn't present when you had went on a little spiral about how he was the worst guy in the planet and how you never wanted anything to do with him ever again.

“Oh my god, Anne! Are you dumb?” A great friend, Jisoo was. “He cheated on her, let’s not say his name in our sacred space ever again.”

“He didn’t cheat on me.” It sure felt like it to you but you knew it was far from the reality. You weren’t dating or anything, he just happened to make a mistake that broke your heart. Things like this happened.

“Girl, he said someone else’s name while fucking you.” Jisoo says. “That’s cheating to me.”

You just shrug, not really wanting to have this conversation anymore. Just after the whole thing had happened, you had took some time to do some internal thinking and realized that your feelings for Jaehyun were stupid and you should just move on already. Easier said than done, of course. But so far you hadn’t cried once and you sure didn’t want to because your friends were validating your feelings.

“Well, whatever. That’s the past now.” That earns you a little ‘yes, girl’ from your friends. “We need to focus on my present situation and how I’m going to go crazy if I don’t get some action.”

You really were being dramatic. It had only been what, two weeks or so, and you and your roommates knew well enough that you had gone longer than that without it. You were not horny but you were bored, and that was dangerous enough by itself. But you were also heartbroken and a little thirsty for revenge, so that was just key for making bad decisions.

Anne bites on her nail, forehead a little creased as if she's in deep thought. That probably won't go well. “I think that what you really need is not dick. What you need is to go out with your friends and have some fun. ” She starts and you raise one eyebrow at her. “Get a little crazy, ya know? Put on a slutty dress and maybe flash your ass a bit in a sketchy club with your girlfriends.”

She says the whole thing in a weird voice, making you laugh. “What’s this, some sort of intervention?”

Jisoo laughs too, throwing a pillow at Anne. “Please don't start going on about how friends are more important than sex.”

“First of all, they are. Gals before balls, or whatever.” She laughs at her own jokes. “But, for real. We could really go out. And if you still want some action I can hook you up with someone.”

Now that could go very wrong. Your past experiences with any of Anne’s friends had been awful, for starters. She just had some weird dudes on her friend circle and you weren't trying to get with a weird guy with a foot fetish again. “Like who?” You ask, skeptically.

Jisoo watches the whole conversation, amusement on her face like she’s watching a soap opera. “I don't know, man.” Anne throws her hands around. “Johnny is a nice guy, mayb-”

“Oh my god, no fucking way.” You exclaim just as Jisoo jumps in excitement and yells her agreement.

“That would be so good.” She says and you get a pillow to muffle your screams.

“Why? What am I missing?” Anne asks.

“Johnny is literally Jae -- He’s the cheater’s best friend. That’s such a good idea.” That makes Anne clap excitedly like a child and you sigh loudly.

“Is it? Is it really a good idea? Like, I’m sure I would be a really bad person if I used that poor guy like that.” You really would. Things were not messy right now but they sure would be if you started involving people that had nothing to do with it into the situation. On the other hand, you really would like to make Jaehyun at least a little bit upset.

You eye Anne as she grabs her phone and starts typing at ii suspiciously. “It wouldn’t, babe. You’ll just go to a party with a nice guy, have some fun and maybe make out with him a bit.” Jisoo says, moving closer to you to rub your arm affectionately. If you hadn't mentioned before, she was a really good friend. “Besides, you don’t have to do anything with him if you don’t absolutely want to. And if you do, then it will be for yourself not because you want to make some guy jealous.”

She made a point. “And I just texted Johnny and he said he’s down for it, so there’s no going back now.” Anne deadpans and you let out a mini scream.

“What the fuck, are you crazy? What did you say to him?” Snatching the phone out of her hand, you read the conversation she just had with him.

Anne:

hey johnny

what’s up?

Johnny (from Chemistry 101):

heyyy

nothing much wbu?

this text was a lil unexpected lmao

Anne:

i know lol sorry

i just wanted to talk to you abt something

theres this friend of mine, ___.

shes really down lately and i just want her to have some fun, u know?

You playfully punch her in the arm. “You asshole, I’m not down. You made me sound sad and desperate.”

“You were literally screaming about dick not ten minutes ago.”

You scoff. “Whatever.”

Anne:

so i was wondering if you would like to meet her and take her out this weekend

i heard lee taeyong is throwing a party

Johnny (from Chemistry 101):

okay...

that really came out of nowhere lol

Anne:

lol ik

but i promise you shes really cool

heres a picture for reference ;)

*attached picture*

Your friend was really selling you out like that. And that wasn't even a good picture.

Johnny (from Chemistry 101):

oooh damn

lmao

ok, give me her number :)

“That was awful.” You hand her the phone back, throwing yourself back onto the couch with a deep whine. How would you even face this poor dude, you had no clue. Maybe you were a little fucked.

“Stop being ungrateful, I just got you a hot date.” Anne says getting up and high fiving Jisoo. “Now who wants to order some pizza rolls?”

What can you do but raise your hand in defeat.

☾

When friday comes all you want to do is hide yourself inside your room and never come out again.

Johnny had texted you that same day and, for your complete agony, he was really nice. Like, really nice. The type of people that within a week of texting already made you comfortable enough to share an inside joke with. And that would be great, amazing, fantastic, because you had a date with this man that was funny, nice and looked extremely hot. And was probably packing, but that’s beside the point. That would all be great if you didn’t feel like complete shit for using him.

And yes, ok, you weren't exactly using him. Maybe just a little. But it still made you feel bad.

But you were a big girl, you could do this even if you had to listen to your girl power playlist while you put on your ‘slutty dress’ and applied gemstones to the end of your liner, like you were about to star in Euphoria or some shit. And your friends hype you up, giving you that extra confidence you were lacking so that when you walk out the house you feel like you truly are the hot girl Megan Thee Stallion was talking about.

Well, that lasts for about 20 minutes, which was the duration of the drive to Taeyong’s house. You go literally weak in the knees when you see Johnny standing outside the house where you both agreed to meet up.

“I can’t do this.” You say because he looks so good, even looking down at his phone to entertain himself while you didn't arrive. And he was so tall, like probably a good head taller than you and if that wasn't the hottest thing you didn't know what it was.

“Yes, you can.” Anne says, patting your butt and giving you a sweet smile. “Now go get him and make that bitch pay.”

So you go, legs shaking a bit when Johnny gives you a big smile as he spots you. How long would it take for you to fuck this up, you wonder.

He hugs you like you were long time friends when you come close enough and you almost sigh from how good he smells. “You look good.” He compliments and you almost melt, head going a bit blank when you feel his hand on your waist.

“Oh, thank you.” The laugh you let out could only be described as awkward but he doesn't seem to notice. “You don’t look so bad yourself.” That was good. Smooth, carefree even. You let him lead you inside the party, hand still in your lower back as he basically towers over you.

You feel overwhelmed the moment you step inside the house. There’s not many people, but enough to make it feel like the place is almost too crowded and the song playing is so loud that you cringe. You run your eyes through the room and when you spot the kitchen you drag Johnny by the hand, wanting to get there as fast as possible. You don't notice you haven't even thought about Jaehyun for that short amount of time.

“Let’s get drunk!” You exclaim when you both enter the kitchen and that makes Johnny laugh.

“Alright.” You feel his eyes on the back of your head as you pour the two of you not one, not two, but three shots of tequila each. “Not wasting any time are you?”

“Nope.” You emphasize the ‘p’, dipping your hand in the salt bowl and licking it before you offer the bowl for him and he does the same. His eyes don't leave yours as he licks the white substance and that makes you nervous for some reason. You shake the thoughts by grabbing your shot and raising one eyebrow at him. “Ready?”

“Let’s do this.” Is his answer and then you are both downing the first shot, grimacing before moving to the next and by the third one you are already laughing, barely being able to bite onto the lemon Johnny holds out for you.

You look directly at him, mischief in your eyes, when you finally bite the lemon, sucking of it before the sour taste fills your mouth. He laughs when you let go and your face contorts. “Stop laughing at me.” You playfully laugh, poking your tongue out at him.

“I’m sorry, I just thought you would handle it better.” He teases. “Suggested doing three shots right away, after all.

“I just wanted us to let loose, that’s all.” You justify and he hums in agreement. “Want tonight to be really fun.”

“It will be.” Then he’s holding your hand and pulling you out the kitchen.

It turns out to really be fun. You get drunk pretty fast after the tequila shots and Johnny is so funny that you laugh at almost everything he says. He talks about what he’s studying, about how he detests chemistry and how he almost lost his hair when he tried to bleach it. And he doesn’t mind when you interrupt him when a song you love starts playing and you have to dance to it.

You let yourself go when you two start dancing, his hands on your waist as you do whatever your drunk body wants to. It’s nice, not thinking about anything but the song that is playing and you enjoy it, swaying your hips and even singing some of the lyrics. It’s really fun, until your eyes focus on something you really didn’t want to see.

Jung Jaehyun, standing on a wall with some friends that you don’t know around him. He’s wearing a black t-shirt and you can see the silver of his necklace from how low the neckline is. He has a drink on his hand and his friend seems to be excitedly talking about something, but he’s paying him no mind because his eyes are on you. His eyes are on you and your head suddenly starts spinning.

How long had he been there for? Did he see you basically grinding against Johnny, who happened to be his best friend? Was he jealous? Was he angry? If he did and if he was, that meant your plan worked. You gotten your sweet revenge. But why didn’t you feel happy?

“You okay?” Johnny’s voice snaps you out of your little trance and just then you realize you had stopped dancing.

You nod your head maybe too fast. “Yeah, sure. I’m peachy.” He gives you a puzzled look, hand brushing a strand of your hair that had fallen into your eyes. You hate how sweet the gesture was. “What about you?”

He smiles at that. It’s easy to make him do that, you realize. “I’m good. Want to drink something?”

“No, it’s fine.” You reply, speaking your next words without really thinking. “I actually gotta find my friend, Jisoo. To make sure she’s okay and all.”

Johnny’s probably too understanding for his own good. He lets you go that easily, saying he too will go find his friends and that the two of you can meet later on. It’s so easy it’s pathetic.

You move from the dancing and drunk bodies until you’re standing in an empty corridor and you let your back hit the wall as you try your hardest not to sink to the floor in frustration. You were dumb, that’s what you really were because you knew exactly what would happen now.

He finds you easily, probably had been watching you from the moment you walked away. “Fancy seeing you here.” His voice is low as he approaches you, eyes searching for yours and you want to slap his face when they meet.

You snort. “Is it really?”

He just shrugs, offering you his cup and you eye it suspiciously. “Want some?” He asks and you shake your head.

“What is it?” What you really want to ask is why he’s being so nice and why is he acting like everything is fine between the two of you.

“Orange juice.” Is the clever reply he gives you and you would laugh in other circumstances, you really would. Because you liked boosting his ego, liked seeing his smile when someone appreciates his jokes.

“You’re not funny.” Is what you decide to say.

He raises his eyebrows, probably not expecting that reaction. “Damn, okay.” He looks uncomfortable, uncertain and that is a high contrast to the bubble of confidence he usually appears to be. The first time he met you, he talked to you like he knew you would fuck him by the end of the night. Not in a cocky way, but in a way that made you actually want to do it more. That’s gone now.

“What do you want, Jaehyun?” It’s a genuine question. He had followed you for a reason, you both knew that.

He looks down, almost in a shy manner and it makes you feel inadequate for some reason. “Just wanted to talk to you, I guess. it's been a while.” He mutters lowly. “Kinda miss you.”

Lies. What does he miss exactly? Talking to you? Unlikely because of all the things you did together, talking was not on top of the list. Your body? Sex? Couldn't be, because apparently he could get it with plenty other people.

“Well, that's too bad.” You reply bitterly. “Besides, I don’t really feel like talking to you right now.”

He looks genuinely hurt at that but only for a moment and you almost feel bad for it. Almost. “Come on, don’t be so mean to me. Im sorry, okay?” His voice drops even lower as he comes closer to you. Risky thing to do, in your opinion. “What I did was stupid. But you can be mad at me forever, we weren't even dating.”

“Thank god.” You mutter and he rolls his eyes at that. He’s standing very close to you know, hovering above you as you can see every detail of his face. Can smell the perfume you like so much and it makes your head spin.

“It's not like I cheated on you.” His voice is completely defeated. That’s far from the right thing to say and he knows that too.

“You really are an asshole. I told you before i don't — didn't — care if you fuck other girls.” You hiss, avoiding his eyes. “But what you did was the awful. You made me — You broke my heart“

“I know and I'm sorry, how many times do i have to say it?” He does sound sorry, you’ll give him that. “Come on, can’t we just be good again, baby?”

Maybe that’s the moment it all goes down. Maybe it was already over from the moment you saw him staring at you.

“I don't know, Jaehyun.” But you do know and for a moment you just stare at him like he’s staring at you, wonder if there’s want in your eyes like there is in his. You stare at his lips before he talks again.

“I like these things on your eyes.” He always hits you with the most random compliments that make you go weak in the knee.

“Please don’t say things like that.” You whine and hit him lightly on the chest. That makes him smile and you wish it didn’t.

“Why not?” He asks teasingly.

“You know why.” He knows, he really knows. That’s why he moves his head down just a little so that he can press at kiss at your cheek.

You should push him away right now. That would be the smart thing to do. The right thing to do. Johnny was probably somewhere looking for you right now, and here you were, letting Jung Jaehyun make you a fool out of yourself again. You should be angry, mad, not putty in his hand.

“Tell me this, baby.” He whispers against your ear and you feel small. So small he could just grab you in his hand. “Did you come with Johnny to make me mad? Huh? Don't lie to me.”

“I didn’t.” Yes you did and your plan had worked apparently. But not in the way you expected. “The world doesn't revolve around your dick, you know.”

He laughs lowly. “Really? Because I think you did. Dancing all around him like you knew I would be watching.” He tsks, voice is smug and you wish he would just end your suffering. “You don't have to do that baby. I already want you enough.”

“You’re evil, Jaehyun.” Is all you manage to say, voice slurred. “I can’t think straight when I’m around you.”

All you can think about is how you want to kiss him right now, and he seems to be thinking the same thing. “You know you don’t have to think at all. I got you.” He murmurs against your skins, lips pressing on your jaw, kissing your face until he stops at your lips and they immediately part for them.

One of your hands slips to the back of his hair then, closing the distance between you two. It’s a slow, languid kiss and you can taste the alcohol from his lips. Or maybe it’s from yours, but you couldn’t care less right now. His hand holding your face is what keeps you grounded, because the feels of his tongue sliding against yours in opened mouth kisses could kill you right now.

When you part from the kiss you’re both breathing heavily and his hands stay in your cheeks. “I want you so bad. Always want you.” He says, voice raspy. And who were you to deny him of that when you wanted him just as much.

☾

He was onto you the moment you stepped inside his room. Lips attached to your neck as you kept a vice grip on his hair, letting him know how much you were liking it. Usually Jaehyun took his time, building you up until you were begging, but tonight he seems to be the desperate one, with the way he grips your thighs, trying to push you closer to him and onto the bed at the same time.

You fall into the bed with a huff, him right on top of you and he continued his work on your neck. Tilting your head to give him more access, you feel the slide of his teeth on your sensitive skin and it makes you let out a moan. He continues doing that for a while, pressing kisses all over your and removing your dress while at it for better access. You give in easily, of course you do.

“Do you want me?” He asks suddenly, voice muffled on your neck and you nod desperately.

“Yes. Yes, please.” You sound needy, pathetic. You are sure he loves it. He bites your neck after your reply, hands holding your thighs so he could scoop you up in the bed and your legs curl around his waist.

You watch as he moves to remove his shirt and unbutton his jeans and you follow his lead by removing your own bra, biting your lips after throwing it somewhere in the room.

He wastes no time in diving in your chest, licking one of your nipples before he starts sucking on it, making you arch your back underneath him like you’re asking for more. When his teeth close around it you let out a loud whine that makes him smirk against your skin. “Always so fucking loud for me.” He mutters and you can only reply with incoherent words.

He kisses you again then, this time slower, with your mouths parting as he slides his tongue against your teeth before he’s sucking on your bottom lip. He moves his hips against yours in a slow grind, as if to test the waters, and your mind goes blank at the feeling of him hard against you. Fingers raking on his back, you try to bring him closer to you, as if that was possible.

“Are you wet? Hmm?” He whispers against your jaw and you can only nod. As if to check, he presses two fingers on your clothed core. The way you have soaked through the cotton of your panties seems to be confirmation enough because he removes them, followed by his own underwear.

Back on you, he drags his middle finger to your slit to your clit, circling it in a torturing way. He inhales deep when you whine against his lips. “Jaehyun.” His name falls from your lips in complete surrender.

He presses one last fervent kiss to your lips? “Do you want it? — Fuck — Please, tell me.” His voice is strained as his hardness slides through your lower lips and you try to press him closer with your calves on his hips. “Please.”

“I want it - Jesus, I want it so bad.” Is all he needs to hear. In a blur, you watch him reach for his bedside table and retrieve a condom. You watch as he slides it on and then squeezes his cock in his fist trying to calm himself down.

He guides himself to your entrance, pushing the tip inside and your head spins, making you moan loudly. “That’s it. Take me, Baby — Fucking hell — That’s it.”

it’s pure bliss when he bottoms out, you sighing from how full you feel and him grunting deeply in his chest. His hands immediately grips at your hips and he gives you the first thrust, hard and deep.

He only gets rougher, each trust hitting you deeper than the last as his hips moves against yours. It’s when he whines against your mouth and brings a thumb to your clit that you know he won’t last long. “So fucking tight, god.” He hisses. “Taking me so well. You always take me well.”

You bask in the praise, and with another thrust you’re coming all over him, squeezing him in and legs pushing him even deeper. “Oh, fuck.” You almost yell and he swallows it with his lips.

In a moment he’s coming too, with a low grunt and what you think is your name falling from his lips. You can feel him pulsing inside you when his forehead knocks against yours. This was probably the fastest any of you had ever reached your release with each other and you weren’t sure what that meant.

Closing your eyes as he pulls out, you try not to think about it.

☾

You wake up with a headache and an ache between your legs. When you open your eyes, the surroundings are familiar and it only makes your head hurts even more. You remember every single thing that happened.

Just as you sit up in the bed, Jaehyun walks in with a plate of what you think is sliced fruit and a glass of water that he hands you. “Morning.” His voice is raspy and his face is puffy, meaning he hasn't been awake for long.

“Morning.” You reply, voice barely coming out so you down the glass of water before speaking again. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost 3pm. We slept a lot” You mutter a little ‘fuck’ as he sits next to you in the bed and it feels weird to be here, unnatural. You had never stayed over before and it shows on how neither of you know how to act. “Here, I cut some apple for you. Might help if you’re feeling sick.”

Now that’s sweet. Too sweet for the occasion. “Thanks.” You take the plate from him, picking one slice and biting into it. It’s silence for a minute, only your chewing and the fan sound filling the room. You try not to think about anything, or else you would have a panic attack right away.

He clears his throat suddenly and you brace yourself. “About what you said in the party. I didn't mean to.” His voice is barely a whisper as he stares at you. “Break your heart I mean.”

You mutter a little oh, slice of apple falling from your grip. There’s nothing you think of saying, so you just stare back at him. He’s really beautiful, and you had noticed before of course, but right now fresh out of bed and unguarded he looks almost angelic.

“But I can't give you what you want.” He continues and each word feels like a punch in your chest. “I'm not ready to be anyone's boyfriend.”

“Okay. I can understand that.” Your response is flat, dry.

His eyes soften at that. “It’s okay if you hate me.”

“I don't.” That’s a lie at the same time it’s not and he gives you a look because he knows that too.” Okay, maybe a little bit.”

He gives you a sweet smile that only makes you heart ache more and you place the plate he gave you on the bedside table before getting up.

“We can still be friends.” He says while you’re getting dressed.

You cringe at his words. How naive of him to think like that. “We are not friends, Jaehyun.” Your voice is small, not wanting to hurt him even though he just did that to you. “ And… I don't think I want us to be.”

“Ok.” Is the only thing he says.

“Ok.” You mimic, before you’re walking away.

☾

The walk of shame is, thankfully, better than the rest of it all. You walk the whole way from Jaehyun’s dorm to yours in complete silence and without a thought in your head. It’s nice not thinking about anything, because these days it seems like your mind won’t let you catch a break. There’s always something in your head, how you need to raise your GPA and how you might fail a class or two, the uncertain thought of maybe not being able to find a job after you graduate. And finally, the one that makes you stay up at night, the excruciating thought of not being good enough for anything or anyone. That’s the one that makes you stay up at night staring at the ceiling as your insides eat you alive and the one that makes it hurt just a little more that Jung Jaehyun doesn't want you.

But you don’t think about that at all. Not until you reach your house.

When you open the door you are met with emptiness and silence, and for now you’re thankful for it. You check your phone just in case, as you drop your things in the kitchen counter, and are not surprised to be met with 10 phone calls, 2 of them being from Johnny and a crazy amount of texts.

You only open the chat with your roomates, quickly going through their messages of worry and sending them one back reassuring you were ok and had just gotten home. After that you shut your phone down, moving silently to the bathroom.

The cold water of the shower manages to wake you up from your daze. Taking a deep breath as the water streams hit your back, you think back to the conversation. If that could be called a conversation at all. He did most of the talking, like he had it all planned out on his head. And it was so sudden, so quick that you think he probably wanted it to be over fast, like ripping off a bandaid.

But it was better like this. You wonder if you would have said anything you regretted if you had stayed longer. You shut your eyes tightly.

You hadn’t cried about it yet. You probably wouldn’t, didn’t really feel like it. This isn't even heartbreak, if you are being honest with yourself, this is just a bruise to your ego, that the target of your infatuation didn't reciprocate your shallow feelings. And it hurts, of course it does but there’s ways to fix it.

When you get out of the shower and finish drying yourself you realize that you don’t want to be alone at the moment. You think of calling your friends, but they wouldn’t rest until you had spilled every single detail and you weren't ready to do that yet.

Your thumb hovers the number that had texted you five times yesterday. The first two asking of your whereabouts and the last ones asking if you were okay, and to text him. You don’t hesitate before pressing on the call button.

It rings three times before he picks up. “___. Hi.” His voice is sweet, even after what you did.

“Hi, Johnny. I’m sorry for not calling earlier, I just passed out when I got home.” You give a little chuckle, trying to hide your nervousness.

“Oh, that’s fine. Are you okay, thought? You disappeared last night and then Anne texted me asking if I knew where you were.” It’s an awful feeling knowing you made your friends worried, but you would fix it. You always did.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry about all that.” Your clear your throat before asking the next question. “I was kinda wondering If I could come over… I can bring food, to make it up to you.”

And he says yes, of course he does. So you get ready, buy the chinese takeout he said he liked and in an hour you’re standing outside his house.

“Hey, there.” He greets you with the same warmth he did yesterday. Only this time he looks more laid back, with a white t-shirt and sweatpants. It’s a good look. “You’re a savior, I was starving.”

He takes the food from your hands and you laugh, walking inside his dorm and taking it in. It looks nice and you wish you were here in different circumstances, that you had taken time to actually get to know him instead of rushing everything to fulfill your own ego. “Are you hangover?” You try and make small talk while he gets the utensils he needs before gesturing to the couch in the middle of the room, and you take a seat.

“Not really. Didn’t drink much after you left.” He places the food on the small table in front of you, opening the lids and you suddenly realize how hungry you were. “Are you?”

“Nope.” You reply. You only had a headache, but you doubt that was from a hangover.

“Then one beer won’t kill us.” He jokes, placing the beers he had retrieved from the fridge before finally sitting beside you on the couch.

You start eating after that, both of you too hungry to talk about anything but Johnny keeps you entertained and you are not surprised to see he’s just as nice as he was yesterday.

Only when the food is gone and Johnny is cracking open his second beer you decide to say something about what happened.

“Listen, I’m sorry about last night. I got caught up with a friend and you know, had to help her out.” The lies comes easy and you feel bad, but the truth would be far worst. “I really did have a good time, though. Before I left.”

He takes a sip before he’s smiling at you. “It’s fine, don’t worry. Shit like this happens.” You stare at his face. It’s impossible that he’s real, with his pretty face and understanding words. “And I had a good time too, was just a bit sad that I didn’t get to even kiss you.”

That surprises you and you blush at his words. You knew he was at least a bit attracted to you and in the end, wasn't this the reason you had called him asking to come over in the first place? Isn't this what you wanted, a bit company? But you didn't expect him to be the one initiating it.

You gulp down the lump on your throat. “W-We have time now, though. Don’t we?”

He just laughs, nodding before he’s kissing you. It’s a slow, tentative kiss and he holds you by the back of your neck. He pressed his lips against yours, before he’s pulling at your bottom lip and you grip at his t-shirt. You’re impatient, trying to lick at his lips to get him to part them but doesn't let you have your fun.

He just moves your head to his liking, kissing you deeper and your grip on his t-shirt gets tighter as your try to get him closer to you.

He chuckles from your desperate ministrations, and you wonder when you had become this person, that is greedy and pathetically needy. That wants things to move fast so you don’t have time to think about Jaehyun. “Easy, angel.” Johnny mutters against your lips. “We have time, remember?”

You just nod, trying to wrap your mind around that fact. You take a deep breath and start again.

Maybe this time you would get things right.

----

a/n: thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed it and if you did you can tell me here or support me by buying me a coffee here!

#nct smut #nct scenarios #johnny scenarios #johnny smut #jaehyun smut #jaehyun scenarios #oof #neowritingsnet #pls listen to the song recs they are PERFECT for this fic #this honestly is just killjoy on steroids

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