#EEEEEE HERE WE GO FOLKS

[erinartemis]

IK IT'S ALREADY ALL OVER THE MD TAG BUT

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE

MURDER DRONES NEWS TOMORROW SCREAMING CRYING ON THE FLOOR YAYYYYYYY

[whump-only]

intro -- golden (vamp whump)

Ok so I have a vampire whump addiction now..... (thanks @deluxewhump + @ashintheairlikesnow). NEW WIP NEW OCs eeeeee

tw: broken bones, reference to gore (removal of teeth), captivity, restraint, it/its as pronouns, physical abuse/manhandling, non-sexual nudity, manipulative/abusive relationship, referenced death / murder

----

“Come on. Just let me just show it to you.” Hyde phrased it as though it was a request, but he stood blocking the front door. Daring Pollen to refuse him.

“No. Find someone else. I’m leaving,” Pollen said, but they both knew that wouldn’t happen. Pollen really, really regretted agreeing to housesit, For a whole month? On Hyde’s turf? Idiot! But he didn’t think Hyde would spring this on him. 

Hyde stepped forward and took Pollen by the elbow. “I’ll protect you…” he said cheekily, pulling Pollen towards the basement door. 

“Fuck you.” Pollen planted his feet firmly. To think Pollen would agree to living with a vampire… 

“Fuck! I said just look at it. How is that hard?” Hyde snapped with that ferociousness he was capable of. It’s why he was a top tier vampire hunter, but it startled Pollen when it came out like that. 

But just like that, the flash of anger was smoothed away, and Hyde was soft, coaxing. “Listen… if you actually look at it and still think it’s dangerous, then I’ll kill it before I go? Okay?”

Pollen was baffled. Did Hyde really think this was reasonable? Knowing what vampires did to his life, to his family? “…You’re serious?”

Hyde grinned before leading the way. That smile of assured victory that everyone swooned over. That Pollen used to want to kiss. Pollen clenched his teeth. 

Hyde opened the door to the pitch black basement and already everything in Pollen wanted to say, Close the door, get the fuck out! Leave it down there! That’s what any sensible human would do. 

Hyde flicked on a pale yellow light and padded down the steps. Pollen stopped at the threshold of the door, his heartbeat hammering in his ears. Run. Run! Those last words of his mother echoed in his head, the memory of that night wrapping itself around his neck, like a snake. Run! 

Hyde looked up at him, raised his eyebrows mockingly. Scared?

Pollen reasoned that if the thing somehow got loose it could kill Hyde first and give Pollen time to run away. Or something. And so, he forced himself to step down, one creaky, labored step after another. The smell of rotting, horrible something hit him so hard it triggered a coughing fit. “Ugh, god. You never crack a window down here?” Pollen called. 

Hyde was already out of sight, somewhere down there. “No windows.”

Pollen’s eyes watered and he could barely see anything in the yellow glow of the overhead light. Hyde was near the far wall, and Pollen urgently scanned the bare room for the monster. With a shock he realized it must be the figure at Hyde’s feet, curled under a blanket. 

With the clink of chains, the thing suddenly shifted and let out a whimper and Pollen’s heart leapt into his throat. 

Hyde kneeled down next to it and Pollen braced himself for it to leap up and rip open Hyde’s face.

But instead Hyde lifted it clean off the floor and held it up. Its blanket fell away and it was naked, so thin that it looked like its every bone was visible through its grey skin, making it all the more inhuman. It looked like an eerily accurate mannequin, utterly plastic and lifeless, yet still detailed in its rendering. The chain that dropped down from its neck looked heavier than its body. The thing remained limp in Hyde’s arms, its head drooped down to its chest, its bound wrists hung loosely. Its mop of black hair covered the top half of its face and the bottom was obscured with a muzzle. Its legs dangled a full foot off the ground. There was no way it was full grown, Pollen realized. 

It did not paint an intimidating picture. But Pollen still flinched when it growled suddenly. 

Hyde didn’t seem to register the sound at all, even though he was holding it against his body. He switched to holding it up with one arm. “Look at its eyes.” With the other hand he moved its matted hair out of the way and pulled up one of its eyelids. The iris was a deep, almost golden, yellow. “Such a pretty color.” 

The vampire’s eye seemed to fix on Pollen, its pupil growing small in an instant. Pollen turned away, finding himself overwhelmed. Those eyes. Just like—

“Want to touch it?” Hyde said, almost reverently. 

“No,” Pollen said firmly. “Just stop.”

“Suit yourself.” Hyde dropped the vampire so suddenly that Pollen jerked in surprise as it hit the floor and cried out.  

Hyde stepped over the cowering creature and with a gleam in his eyes. “See? Didn’t I tell you?”

Pollen stepped back, momentarily forgetting the vampire, but nonetheless terrified. Hyde was alive now, glowing with excitement. At any moment his energy could be redirected by a swift turn of anger into a quick bone cracking punch or the instant unsheathing of his knife. In this basement, Hyde could get away with anything, Pollen thought. 

But Hyde was in good spirits, seemingly assured that his presentation had been thoroughly convincing. So he was now onto logistics, “The freezer upstairs is filled with cow blood. Give the vamp a block every day or so. That’ll keep it alive but it won’t get strong enough to give you trouble. You can always lower the portion if it’s getting too energetic.”

Pollen’s head was still spinning from the slow realization of what he’d gotten backed into doing. “And what, take off its muzzle? What if it bites me?”

Hyde grinned with chaotic glee. “I took out its fangs! And the rest of the front ones too.”

Pollen unconsciously raised his hand to cover his mouth. 

Hyde continued. “Still gotta be wary of the things growing back of course. You can use the pitchfork to pin it down, but trust me, it doesn’t move around much anyway. It’s pretty easy.”

Pollen tried to relax his clenched mouth. “Right. Cow blood. Got it.”

Hyde tapped his chin. “Other than that, I just dump a bucket of water or two every few days, to wash down the piss an everything to the drain there.”

Literally mopping shit. Unbelievable that Hyde would take him for granted like this, Pollen sulked. “I hate you. You’re a bad friend.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry,” Hyde said tenderly. He reached for Pollen’s hand and teasingly wrapped his index finger around Pollen’s pinkie. With the other hand he gave Pollen’s butt a little squeeze. “I’ll make it up to you.”

Ridiculous. Did Hyde think he was so good that sex would make up for this?, Pollen wondered. Pollen wasn’t that desperate. 

And now Pollen was insulted. “Hey. I never say I’d do it. Chained up or not, toothless or whatever, I’m not going to be able to sleep knowing there’s a vampire under me. That’s a risk you’re willing to live with. But not me. What if it gets away and comes upstairs to kill me?”

Hyde sighed. “You really think that thing is any threat to you? Be serious.” 

“Yes!” Pollen insisted. 

Hyde’s eyes narrowed and he smirked coldly. “So sad. But I get it. Can’t be too careful with vamps. They killed your folks right?”

Pollen already knew Hyde wasn’t just giving up. But Pollen didn’t know how to stop him. How to not walk into the trap. So Pollen yielded, “Yes. And my siblings. I had two sisters.”

“That’s too bad...” Hyde turned to the vampire that had somehow managed to silently twist most of itself back under the blanket. “Hey, Goldie. Mr. Pollen doesn’t trust you…”

Hyde walked purposefully toward a metal baseball bat that Pollen hadn’t noticed before. Pollen didn’t think he imagined the dark staining on it. 

Hyde glanced over, trying to catch Pollen’s gaze. “…What can we do about that?”

Pollen felt very cold in his stomach, remembering Hyde’s promise to kill it if Pollen thought it was dangerous. “Hey, come on Hyde. Hyde! Don’t do that,” Pollen said, but he wasn’t sure. The vampire couldn’t be released back to the outside to terrorize people, they both knew that. 

The vampire too, must’ve sensed the lurch toward danger, because it broke out of its stupor. As Hyde loomed over it, it struggled and whined, tried to scrabble against the concrete, pull itself away. But Hyde firmly stepped down on a part of it, pinning it.

“Stop! No!” Pollen shouted, but Hyde raised the tool above his head—

Pollen turned away and covered his ears to block the piercing cry of the creature. With every new breath it screamed into its muzzle and seemed to choke on its own voice before screaming again.  Pollen panted in horror, unable to look up. 

“One broken leg,” Hyde reported, loudly, over the thing’s cries. “Or if we’re really being more exact, it’s probably shattered from the knee down. Still think vampy can get away?”

Pollen shook his head. “Hyde. I can’t…”

“What do you think, Goldie? Can you still crawl up the stairs and kill Mr. Pollen?” Hyde addressed it with a tone that approached tenderness. But he still held that bat, weighing it in his hand. Pollen realized Hyde never intended to kill it. 

Pollen wished he could jump up and snatch away the bat. But his body wouldn’t move. “Hyde. Hyde, please stop. Just stop.”

Hyde looked right at Pollen with dark eyes as he raised the bat again. “Sorry, Goldie. One leg to go.” 

Pollen finally unfroze and raced up the stairs two at a time, tripped once, bashing his chin into a stair, but it didn’t slow him down until he was back in the kitchen. He felt dizzy so he sank to the floor and clapped his hands over his ears as the creature wailed. 

The stairs creaked as Hyde climbed them. He softly closed the basement door, muting the sounds of pain. 

The ringing finally subsided in Pollen’s head. “Why the fuck did you do that?” Pollen demanded. 

“You know I’m the last person on earth who’d underestimate a vampire. I wouldn’t leave you in a situation where you could get hurt,” Hyde said sweetly. 

You knew it’d make me guilty, Pollen thought. To get back at me for resisting you, right? But Pollen said nothing, and took the hand Hyde offered. 

Hyde pulled Pollen to his feet. “I know it’s scary. Especially for you. But you can do this.”

Pollen rested his head on Hyde’s shoulder, pretending that this Hyde, the soft one, couldn’t switch back if he was hugging Pollen. The broken moans of the thing could still be heard through the door. This whole exercise seemed so cruel now, so unnecessary. Pollen mumbled into Hyde’s shirt. “Why can’t you just kill it?”

Hyde wrapped his arms around Pollen. “This is a rare opportunity. I’ll take it around to fairs and things, earn a little cash showing people something they’ve never seen before. It’ll be something to do between my hunting trips. Maybe I can even travel less, if the money’s good… I’m not getting younger, you know?”

The creature’s pitiful sobs echoed in Pollen’s skull. Pollen gripped Hyde’s shirt tighter. “Mhm.” 

Hyde approvingly pecked a kiss onto Pollen’s forehead. “Thank you.”

Pollen cursed the fluttery feeling it gave him. He broke out of the hug. “You’re welcome, asshole.”

Hyde began to shuttle around the house, scanning for things he might’ve forgotten to pack. The vampire had gone quiet. 

Finally Hyde stood at the door, ready to leave. 

Pollen joined him to see him off. “Have a nice trip. Kills lots of vampires for me.”

“That I will.” Hyde gave a salut and marched off. 

Pollen closed the door and slumped down to the floor. “Fuck!”

[silvermuffins]

Pokemon Legends Arceus: please don't eat me

If I recall, I ran off to D&D when I was waiting for an Alpha Pokemon to turn around. I tried to battle a wild one, it was a level 40 Luxio. no thank you.

i am Ready to explore the wilds

starting to feel like i Have to battle the Alpha to get the satchel, which is likely how the satchel got lost to begin with. maybe we come back later.

night is falling again aaaaaaa

starting to realize why dress like ninjas

ooooh okay i see the pros and cons of the crafting table and portable kit now

cyndaquil can evolve!

oh that parasect sounds like a demon

oh fuck there's paras around here i have hEARD THINGS--

TRYING TO KILL PARASECT SEND HELP

i doooone it

right okay back to camp to put some stuff in a box, every time i THINK im gonna make progress.....

paras ARE scary in this game

i am in a new place at night and this buneary is trying to drown itselfj

jjjjjjgghhhh

Blink says hi

oh no. lian is THAT type. hooboy.

i kind of like that i'm not dignifying this kid with clearing up the misunderstanding

Suddenly Irida

gonna get me a new star sooooon

i can't believe laventon's solution is "start a food fight with a demigod"

ooooh new clothes! am now a fancy ocean lass

wyrdeer! LET ME RIDE YOUUU

nobody gonna let me forget im an isekai huh

btw i have some, um, concerns, that so far the two pokemon explicitly identified as descended from ones who got some divine power straight from almighty Sinnoh....are two of the new species that to the best of my knowledge go extinct between now and mainline pokemon

anyway that is a weird ass way to hold a flute, also where are the holes

he gave me a Mind Plate!

holy fuck psyduck gone psycho

oh now irida wants to fight me. okay.

....glaceon. hm. okay.

easy

okay.......let's see if i can handle kleavor

ooof okay i got chopped a few times but i did it on my first go! And got another plate

eeeeee this game just makes me so happy

volo why do you know things

he has cynthia's passion for old things

tbh volo sounds like a student of Night Raven College

....i'm not 100% sure when new sidequests become available. gamefreak wouldn't put missable ones in, would they? surely not. surely not....

man kamado is so fuckin cool

also it's a treat to meet ancestors of folks. like, cyllene and cyrus, kamado and rowan, volo and cynthia, mai and the one girl from victory road, those are all painfully obvious. but lian was clearly an ancestor of clay and dude that's a whole different generation!

oop suddenly horror movie vibes. who is this child,

vessa has been waiting for me. stranger danger,

EVERYTHING IS ECHOING WEIRDLY AND I DON'T LIKE IT

girl i already have a mission from god who ARE you

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK ODD KEYSTONE

SHE LOOKED SO FUCKING CREEPY WHEN SHE GOT HAPPY

mistakes have been made

someone help meeeeee

....i really hope there are 108 wisps tho....wait, 107? squints...

fuck she's the 108th isn't she

ohhhh that went into my chest like a spirit orb. dislike,

like yeah it SAYS it went into the odd keystone but NO TRUST YOU, CHILD

good morning mars's ancestor

ginter looks familiar....

who is he

and who is Tao Hua

oh no the NPCs say new things....here we go again

i just noticed in a house your shoes disappear the moment you get on the wood, and not just when you enter the house. nice touch.

i should get to go somewhere new soon.....i hope.....

....kneeeew it. beautifred evolved into cascoon.....

people keep tryna tell me i should be in the security corps not the survey corps

to which my brain inevitably goes SIE SIND DAS ESSEN UND WIR SIND DER JAEGER

ground types.....sir i have several geodude please take one

okay minigame time!!!

that one's fun tbh.....annnd that's all the village wisps

doodedoo sidequests and commentary....

MARLEY that's who mai resembles. discovered when i looked up the name of Mira, who Peselle resembles!

Sanqua looks kinda like Karen doesn't she?

plot time! Ursaluna....... Ursaring evo? Or alternate???

solaceon ruins!!!! ooooh....

i have a great many things to do!

oh....oh honey no.........you can't beat me

back to the fieldlands for some loose ends.....oh. it's raining....

wahaha! lost satchel retrieved!

oh fuck this heracross is level 45......i do not think i can do this

jesus why does everything in this game hit so hard

! Chimchar!

SHINY PONYTA

uuuuugh will one of these buizel please just be huge

spacetime rift.....explorable....the music's all dark and spooky but otherwise i don't see anything special happening?

o. oh. i see now.

giratina what the FUCK

i got some shit tho! wish i'd gone in with more space in my satchel...

back to the village to hand in a couple of sidequests and then i think i might check out the new field....

the fuck was with the mirror in Sanqua's room...

oh that's wholesome as fuck

Beauregard and his cascoon are adorable too

i want more space in my satchel but ouch my wallet!

let's check out the new area and pray not to die

on the one hand i love that this game is less menu navigation and more buttons doing things....on the other it's so damn hard to get used to

anyway yes please new base camp please

and now i go back and head into the ruins!

old lady with leaf umbrella. not sure if she's someone's ancestor but i'm pretty sure i've heard of something from Japanese folklore with the leaf umbrella thing? specific to hokkaido? am i remembering wrong?

anyway she called me a bully. kamado already called her closed-minded

volo's togepi's accuracy wasn't reduced at all by two mud slaps so it's time to overwhelm with agile style aqua jets

Miss Fortunes......oh my god

calaba is 99?!

anyway time to hunt down some thieves

ancestors of candice, saturn, and.....someone else?

Coin down. Fragment get. Ladies, you three are lovely and I'd be happy to join you or just, help you out, but I have a mission from god that happens to align with the Galaxy Team so, you know, I'm taking the offer that puts food in my mouth and a roof over my head.

also i need to find cherrim somewhere

old lady learned???? that's how you know this is fiction

okay time to do the next bit, with ursaluna, and hope i'm not underleveled because hooboy EVERYTHING hits like a truck? my level seems to be about right but god my pokemon keep getting hit hard

k yeah that was.....relatively easy but ursaluna still hit like a truck. which i expected, but also regular pokemon have been hitting like trucks.

yaaaay i get ursaluna at my beck and call now!

what's he do

gib earth plate

ohhhh he's like stoutland in alola

....i got followed by an unown,

im good at reading unown script because ive been playing since gen 2 this should be easy and fun

brb taking a break to celebrate my brother's birthday

much indian food later!

hm rezu seems to be up to something.

lady of the ridge....

gets to Arezu the wrong way. let's go thorugh the bog this time,

oh she's NOT up to something

when did he get here

okay lilligant next

seriously at level 25 i don't think i should be getting ohkod by one supereffective move

oh! i found the diamond clan's village!

and a poster of a guy who resembles Alder

he's in every house

getting sleepy but im Investedddd

[sunshinedjh]

Phan fluff: The concert

'Dan are you ready yet?' Louise called. 'No! I'm not even taking that long, Zoe was only done a few minutes ago!' Louise sighed at Dan's comment because of how much of a lie it was. Dan seemed to care more about his appearance then either of the girls did. It was just the three of them, Dan, Zoe and Louise, they were at Zoe's house getting ready to go to a concert for the night and they were all just as excited as each other. Dan had been friends with the two for as long as he could remember. Even since before he was old enough for people to tell him that it was a bit strange for him to only hang around with girls. It didn't bother him though. He'd just never really thought about trying to befriend a boy before, they all seemed to scary and hard to talk to and Dan really didn't have the courage for that. 'I've been ready for ten whole minutes actually Dan, now come on!' Zoe complained. 'Alright alright I'm coming, let's go to the car' Dan said, dashing out of the bathroom. 'How do I look?' He asked, standing in what he thought was the most confident looking position possible. 'Woah, Zoe gasped 'you look...' 'Very handsome' Louise cooed. He was wearing a white button up shirt, with some kind of intricate pattern adorned on it, a pair of black skinny jeans (which he rarely took off actually) and black stud earrings to match. His hair was wild and curly with slightly shaved sides, it looked so crazy and unkept but still managed to look like he'd spent a lot of time on it. 'Thanks' he replied shyly, a slight tinge of red appearing on his cheeks. 'Now let's go before we miss the whole damn thing!' It didn't take long for them to get there. They were greeted with the sound of flashing cameras and screams as they joined the cue. Dan looked up and saw the name of the act they were all here to see in lights above the venue door. 'Philip Lester' it read. Dan knew that name well. Phil was Dan's favourite singer, he wasn't sure if it was because of his looks or his mesmerising voice but Dan definitely wouldn't have come out to see anyone else. 'Hey Dan, we're allowed in now' the girls giggled at him as he still had a gormless expression on his face and was staring up at the sign. 'Wha...' He'd been too busy daydreaming to even notice the hoards of people that were now piling into the theatre. Zoe took Dan by the hand and the three friends stepped inside. 'Tickets please' 'Oh uh one second' Louise struggled, one trying to hold her things while the other was trying to fumble around in her bag to find the tickets. 'Here you go sir' 'Thank you very much, have fun guys!' The wait seemed to last ages. Dan sat in his chair, huddled between Zoe and Louise (at the very front none the less) gazing up at the stage. 'Ladies and gentlemen...' a loud booming voice echoed around the room. 'Ahhhhh! He's coming, he's coming!' Dan, Zoe and Louise squealed to each other. 'Philip lesterrrr!' 'Eeeeee!' Everyone was cheering and screaming. Dan was pretty sure that his screams were louder than anyone else's. The young man came and walked out onto the stage and as he cleared his throat silence fell across the theatre. 'Hello everyone' he beamed before bracing for the impact of the screaming crowd as it started back up. 'He's just as dreamy in real life' Zoe whispered. 'Before we begin I have an announcement to make' Phil said into his microphone 'at the end of the show I will be giving away a free backstage pass to one lucky audience member, and the winner will get to come and hang out with me after the show's finished' Dan couldn't hear himself think after all the noise that sentence caused around the room. 'Wooooo' Louise shouted, particularly loudly. Then quietly said to Dan 'you could win that you know' as she nudged him on the shoulder. 'Yeah right, like anyone ever picks me for anything, let's just sit back and enjoy the show' And that's exactly what they did. The three of them had never danced so much in their lives, they laughed and jumped around as Phil's singing echoed around the room. Although, Dan did spill his drink at one point, somehow managing to get it all over Louise's dress, which he was nothing but apologetic about. But Louise assured him that it was okay and they continued to dance the rest of the night away until the very last song had finished. 'Alllright then folks' Phil started speaking after he'd finished singing his 17th (or was it eighteenth?) song. Dan had lost track of how long the night had been to be honest but it had without a doubt been the most fun he'd ever had. 'It's time, to chose the lucky winner!' Phil stated in a fake dramatic voice. He clambered down off the stage then and began walking through the audience. 'Hmmm, but who to pick?' He questioned with a mischievous grin in his face. He walked round looking at the crowd, clearly taking his time to choose. Dan kept his eyes on Phil the whole time, watching him as he searched, he was coming closer and closer and Dan was still looking at him and then Phil returned the gaze. Dan froze with shock. He had no time to process anything at all though. 'You! You there, would like like to come backstage with me?' Phil came waltzing over beaming as he looked down at him, seemingly not even noticing how much he was dying inside from the shock. 'I err, I'd love to...' 'Alrighttt, lets go' Phil took Dan by the hand then and led him back the way he'd came. 'Bye guys!' Dan called to Zoe and Louise behind him, he didn't turn around to see the looks on their faces but he imagined they would be just as shocked as his. Everything seemed like a blur to Dan then, he was touching Phil Lester of all people... and they were holding hands! He couldn't believe his luck, nothing good ever happened to him... Once he was up on he stage he stood there and listened as Phil spoke. 'Okay then everyone, I would like to thank you all for coming...' Dan wasn't really listening, his mind was still racing with adrenaline. He looked out into the crowd and saw Zoe and Louise. They were both waved and smiling wildly at him and he was pretty sure he sure Louise mouthed 'You lucky shit!' 'What's your name then?' Phil asked turning to face him. Dan felt so flustered. He hadn't even noticed that Phil had finished speaking and that the crowd of fans was now piling out of the theatre. He felt slightly like he had been strangled but somehow he still managed to form words. 'I'm er, Daniel. Daniel Howell' Phil chuckled. 'Well, hi there I guess' He blushed as he spoke which made Dan a little curious. 'I really love your music you know, this is so cool!' Phil blushed even harder. 'Thanks... you know, you're kinda cute' What?! Had Phil just? Did he just? Dan thought he was actually going to drop the floor and faint. What kind of over obsessive fangirl was he? He had to pull himself together. 'Oh er, thank you... are we gonna go backstage then?' 'Right! Yeah' 'So, this is Larry' Phil gestured over to a tall important looking man wearing headphones 'he's our sound guy' 'Hi' Dan introduced himself. 'He can't hear you, you know, headphones' Phil laughed grabbing Dan's arm and dragging him down a corridor. It was a lot bigger behind the stage than Dan thought, he felt overwhelmed by how much there was to look at. A large burly looking man walked past them then. 'Oh this is Drake, he's my bodyguard' 'Um, hello' Dan felt slightly intimidated until the man caught him by surprise and smiled at him' 'Hello' he said. 'He may look tough, but he's actually he big softie' Phil exclaimed. They walked round for what seemed like hours, and well it might have been for all they knew. They were both having so much fun, they seemed to have connected so easily. Dan didn't feel like just another crazed fan to Phil and Phil didn't feel like an obnoxiously self centred celebrity to Dan. The two had become friends almost automatically. They walked down another corridor and Phil spoke up. 'Hey, what do you say we grab some food and chill in my dressing room? As much as I'd love to show you round more I'm literally going to die of hunger if I don't eat' Dan giggled. 'Sure' Phil came to a halt outside one of the doors. 'Okay, so we're not strictly supposed to go in here... but I saw some great looking cakes and sandwiches through that door earlier' 'Well then its a good thing I'm feeling a little rebellious' Dan smirked at Phil. 'Alright on the count of three we'll run inside and nab as much food as we can, then follow me and we can sneak it into my dressing room.' 'Sounds like a plan' 'Okay. One... two... three!' The two boys darted though the door, (luckily no one was inside) and grabbed the food that had been nicely laid out on the table. Then they sprinted back out and Dan followed suit as Phil ran down the corridor and into one of the other rooms. They were practically gasping for breathe then. 'It seems you share my physique' Phil joked after catching his breath a little. Dan looked up. 'Yeah... exercise is overrated' As he looked around he saw that they were in a rather fancy looking room, lit up with bright lights and scattered with mirrors. 'Woah this is your dressing room?' 'Sure is' Phil replied proudly. They tucked into the food right away after that. Phil was right, the it tasted amazing. There were sandwiches of all different kinds, cakes that tasted heavenly and about five different and if soda. 'I'm really living the pop star life now, huh?' Dan said, sat crossed legged on the carpet. 'Yeah, well you got food on your chin Mr Pop Star' Phil laughed. 'I do?' Dan blushed. 'Come here' Phil scooted closer to him and wiped his chin with a napkin. Dan was a little surprised when he didn't scoot to his previous position, he stayed sat close, right in front of Dan. Dan felt a little awkward eating when they were sat so close so he put down the sandwich he was holding. Phil was looking at him still. It wasn't a normal kind of look though, there was something longing about it that made Dan want to look right back at him. As he did he could see Phil's eyes up close. They were quite beautiful, he'd seen them before on various posters and in magazines but the were so much prettier, so much brighter in person. 'You're very cute, you know that Dan?' Phil said again, he seemed so transfixed by Dan's gaze. 'You've said that already' Said Dan laughing. 'Oh I have... sorry' 'No no it's okay, good to know that celebrities are human too and that they aren't perfect' 'I really do hate the word celebrity' Phil confessed thoughtfully. 'Yeah?' 'Yeah, it makes it sound like we're above other people just because we got lucky. But we're just the same as everyone else' Dan paused at this comment, he thought for a moment. For some reason it didn't feel like the two his just met. They felt so close already, like they'd known each other forever. 'You're not the same as everyone else Phil' Dan said. 'Dan...' 'And for the record I think you're cute too' Phil stretched out his hand and placed it under Dan's chin as they continued to hold each other's gaze. 'Oh really? What kind of cute?' 'I er... don't know how to say' Dan's cheeks glowed with scarlett. He began to lean in closer to the other man. Phil closed his eyes. 'Then show me...' Dan kissed him then. Feeling like he was going to explode as he did so. Phil was kissing him back, wrapping his arms around him and gripping his shirt gently. Dan could feel Phil's breath against his lips. They pulled away eventually, each other's eyes still solely focused on each other. 'That kind'

[shirohibiki]

AAAAAND TALKING ABOUT THE NEW SPONGEBOB EPISODE, ‘OUT OF THE PICTURE,’ HERE! or at least, first impressions and what i remember and yadda yadda. full analysis to come when they upload the episodes to the site (which i wish was right now sobs)

i know literally no one cares about me rambling about episodes, but hey. i enjoy analyzing and i just love talking about this show :’D spoilers below! ‘patrick’s coupon’ post is here! this one is really long i’m sorry omfg

okay, so... the premise for ‘out of the picture’ is really fucking terrible. like it’s positively awful and they should have NEVER written such a thing. i’m angry about it, BUT... i’m not as angry as i could be because it led to some beautiful things

so beautiful, in fact, that it made my terribly scribbled notes even worse. my handwriting is atrocious on a normal day, but it’s at least a little better than this. this is what my notes devolved into:

i think that about sums it all up, yes?

so, right off the bat, we see some BEAUTIFUL paintings from squidward!!! like wow, those were amazing! he really is an incredibly talented artist. i could never fuckin’ paint like that, let me tell you. he did some really awesome stuff, but in the end, art is subjective and it’s played up for comedic effect, so y’know. typical reactions of disgust/disdain/whatever. larry’s reaction was kinda extreme, but ok lol. AND THEN, WE SEE SPONGEBOB HAS ALREADY BOUGHT ONE OF SQUIDWARD’S PAINTINGS!! AND BOY DOES HE LOVE IT!! and it’s not just any picture, folks: it’s COINCIDENTALLY a picture of a knight sweeping a swooning princess off of her feet. and now okay both of the subjects seem to be squidward (WAIT THAT CHICK RESEMBLES THE ONE I WAS GOING TO WRITE IN MY FIC THOUGH THAT’S SOME MATERIAL) so it’s kind of weird, but we all know him by now. i just think it’s Very Interesting that spongebob picks that one, of all the pieces. “oh, i wish a squidward in shining armor would sweep ME off of my feet~...”

uh huh. yeah. so now the whole deal is mr. krabs bought some of squidward’s art and is now trying to kill him so his art will be worth something??? totally uncalled for. but oh mygosh, when squidward picks up those pennies mr. krabs paid him?? HE WAS SO HAPPY??? i need to see that again because it was adorable. but yeah so krabs sends him on potentially perilous delivery runs and instructs spongebob NOT to go. the first one was a delivery to a whale who lived in the snowy mountains and of course squidward is freezing and tired and he falls... and there’s a snowman that looks an awful lot like spongebob. and squidward looks at the snowman and says “spongebob..?” hopefully, because when you need help, who you gonna call? that’s right. spongebob then ACTUALLY shows up (IN THE CUTEST OUTFIT EVER!!) and squidward’s defenses go up and he’s like “UGH WHY ARE YOU HERE”

spongebob plays it off like he was just passing by if i recall correctly, which is TOTAL BULLSHIT. there is literally no way he didn’t follow squidward up there to help him. it was so obvious, lmao. at that point, i think i remember spongebob TAKING SQUIDWARD INTO HIS ARMS AND CARRYING HIM??? be still my heart.... maybe i imagined that but i’m pretty sure lmao. suffice it to say, they return home safely and mr. krabs is angry because he’s a jackass and sends squidward out again and tells spongebob he can’t go. at some point sb was trying to distract mr. krabs and out of nowhere was like “your eyes are so pretty~.” and krabs got all bashful and it was fucking HILARIOUS

i don’t have anything to say about the mars delivery, but the other REALLY IMPORTANT ONE:

ROCK BOTTOM!!!!!

GUYS THEY BROUGHT ROCK BOTTOM BACK HOLY SHIT I WAS SO HAPPY

I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT!!! EEEEEE ROCK BOTTOM!! squidward is alone and afraid and yet again spongebob shows up to help -- he tells squidward that the rock bottom residents aren’t monsters, but are his friends! and his friends are excited to see him AND THEY HAVE A PARTY!!!!

AND SQUIDWARD STAYS AT THAT PARTY!!!!!!!

I’M FUCKING LOSING MY MIND GUYS THIS IS INCREDIBLE, HE AND SPONGEBOB COME ROLLIN IN THE FUCKIN KRUSTY KRAB LAUGHING WITH THEIR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER AND CONFETTI ON THEM AND HOLY FUCK I CAN’T DEAL NOPE I AM GOIGN TO EXPLODE OH MY GOD I’M SO HAPPY!!!! YES!!!!!! YES YES YES MORE OF THAT!!! MORE OF SPONGEBOB AND SQUIDWARD HAVING FUN TOGETHER OH GOD PLEASE YES

OH AND THEN, I ALMOST FORGOT -- there was a chase scene where mr. krabs was hunting squidward, and spongebob grabbed squidward and pushed him down into hiding. he was sitting right on top of him, right on his lap, and squidward was like “ugh get off of me!” and sPONGEBOB WAS LIKE “i’ll never get off of you, squidward!!” and then something about wanting to keep him safe or something AND I JUST

I JUST

i’m fuckGIKNGFG i can’t deal holy shit. THE SQUIDBOB... IT IS TOO GREAT... YES... THEY THREW ME A BONE AND I GRATEFULLY ACCEPT THAT BONE. it’s not exactly what i want (read: actual relationship progression and character development), but it’s something -- ohh, it’s something. and it lets me know that they still ship it and still want us to see it. 8) the idea of the episode is terrible, but oh my god there were so many cute moments, i can’t be too mad. i’ll properly assess when i can watch it again. oh my god i loved it <33333333

[askmissthunder]

*sigh* 

Might as well get on with it. This is gonna be long one, folks.

It all started when up-and-coming crime boss, Alonzo Fortunato put a hit out on me.

You see, his grandfather, Vincent "The Hammer" Fortunato used to scuffle with my Nan back in her Miss Thunder days. He was the crime king of Ocean City and every time Nan would bust whatever scheme or heist he was planning, he'd use his money and influence to get away scot-free.

Eventually, his luck caught up with him in the end as my grandparents (Miss Thunder and the Recluse) dismantled most of his operations, taking away his grip on the gangs and dirty cops. Fortunato fled the country rather than face justice for his crimes but luckily for him, World War II reared its head, taking away my grandparents' attention away from him.

That's where Alonzo comes in. He's basically grown up to hate Miss Thunder due to her "disgracing their family". So, he came to America and basically started a one-man takeover of the organized crime in Ocean City. Although, he's on the up-and-up in the public eye as a business man, in private, he's making deals and busting heads to grab whatever bit of power he can get.

I wasn't aware of the hit until Talon did some sneaking around on my behalf after The Buzzards and El Toro teamed up to try and take me down (Which was very odd because I knew for a fact that El Toro's gang was in an almost constant power battle with the Buzzards for territory). While she didn't find out who had actually set up the hit, it definitely explained why everyone was gunning for me out of the blue.

A few other small fry gangs popped up to claim the bounty but I put them down just as fast as they came. Until one day, while out on patrol, I saw a white van driving very erratically, going over sidewalks and sending pedestrians scrambling for cover. I assumed it had to be either some sort of malfunction or the driver was drunk or stoned out of their mind.

The van made its way to the warehouse district where I landed right in front of it, snatching it up in the air. The tires were still spinning in high speed as if the driver was slamming his foot down on the gas.

"Okay, squire!", I scolded in my best Miss Thunder Cockney accent, "You're not goin' anywhere so just ease on down!"

The engine only revved louder and louder above my head.

"Oi! Knock it off! Playtime's over!"

I slowly rolled and positioned the van where I could peer into the driver's side. There was no one there. Instead, on the head rest, was a metallic box with the words "FRONT TOWARD ENEMY" and a large digital timer ticking down.

0:04...

0:03...

0:02...

Before I could chuck the van in the air, it exploded in my face with a deafening bang, rattling buildings and shattering nearby windows. Any oncoming traffic stopped dead in its tracks as both drivers and pedestrians ran for their lives

Of course, I had to be told this after it was all said and done, as all I could hear was a high pitched ringing and smoke completely obscured my vision as I coughed up whatever debris went down my throat.  Other than that, I was only mildly singed.

I could barely comprehend what was going on as I staggered out onto the road. Before I could catch my bearings, I immediately felt a stinging jolt slam onto my back, making me stumble slightly.

Thanks to the ringing, I could only just barely hear a deep male voice laugh as if it were a block away.

"Damn, Red! You were right! She is a tough one!"

A female voice replied, "I told you, Woodsman. I still think we should have charged extra for any additional labor."

The male replied, "Nah, nothing wrong with a little more exercise. Besides, it'd be no fun if every superhero we gutted went down without a fight. What do you think, Wolf?"

A noise that sounded like a cross between an animal growl and a jet turbine charging up responded.

"Heh heh! My thoughts exactly!", the male replied.

As the wind started picking up, clearing some of the smoke, I could see my attackers as they sauntered in my direction, a trio of shadows coming into focus.

The female, "Red", was short and lean, wearing a black skintight jumpsuit covered by a long red hooded cloak. Her lower face was covered by what looked like a samurai mask as crimson as her cloak. She carried in her arms a large wicker basket.

The male, "Woodsman", was much taller and burly with a thick beard and a bandana covering his scalp. He wore a bulletproof vest under his dark sleeveless trench coat. His arms seemed to be mechanical as they were bright silver and far larger that any average human arms. He leaned a massive two-handed axe over his shoulders, the blade crackling with blue energy, smiling wickedly as his mirrored sunglasses hid his eyes.

The last, who I presume had to be "Wolf", looked like a massive robot werewolf, nearly as tall as me, its metallic skin shone brightly in the sun. It dragged its claws along the pavement, leaving a long trail of sparks as it walked, staring at me with intense red eyes.

I tried my best to stand steady and look tough but all I could sputter out was:

"Who *Cough cough* are *wheeze* you jerks?"

Red's eyes narrowed , "We are the Red Riding Gang and, on behalf of our, let's say, 'benefactor', we're here to put you down, Fatty."

I spat out whatever grime was in my mouth and smirked, "Other bad'uns have been trying that for a few weeks now."

Woodsman grinned, "We're not like the other guys. The riff-raff here don't hold a candle to a trio of Professional Hero Killers."

" 'Hero Killers', eh? Then why haven't I heard of you?"

"Oh, everyone will soon enough, once we deliver your head to our boss.", Red replied, waving me off and turning towards their robotic companion. "Wolf, if you don't mind?"

The metallic monstrosity got down on all fours, his front claws digging into the pavement as it opened its mouth, letting out a blast of sonic energy right at me. Let me tell you, it was agonizing. Imagine having two rock show speakers being played at full volume right next to your ears, playing every conceivable sound you can imagine. I presume I let out a scream but it was lost in the cacophony of sound.

Despite the noise, I could still concentrate enough to see but even that didn't last long as I saw a shimmer of light creep up near me. I realized it was Red's cloak (using some sort of stealth technology like the alien in that Schwarzenegger movie) as it opened up, revealing herself as she pulled out two metal balls from her basket and threw them in my face, exploding in a bright flash.

So now, along with not being able to hear, I couldn't see, leaving me completely disoriented as I could feel something hot strike me across the face, knocking me down to my knees.

The deafening blast had finally stopped but all I could hear was a high pitched "EEEEEEEEE". My vision was slowly returning but I could really see where blurry shapes in a landscape of muted colors. I couldn't get my bearings as I felt two more blows of what I assumed was Woodsman's axe. While it didn't cut me, the energy surrounding the weapon gave it quite a wallop as I stumbled on all fours.

Struggling to get a grip on the situation after the hitting stopped, I tried my hardest to focus my vision. I instantly regretted it as I could make out Woodsman and Red both carrying a massive bazooka-like weapon. It looked like something out of a Sci-Fi movie or like a weapon an Image Comics character would wield.  But I knew I didn't have long before they used it on me as I could see a bright red light emanate from deep within the barrel.

Between the sonic blast, the flashbang grenades and the blows to the head, getting back up on my feet felt like I was trying to swim through quicksand. I looked behind me and saw some dock workers scrambling for cover. My protective instincts kicked in as I could faintly hear myself scream, "EVERYONE, GET BAC-"

The words died in my mouth as my world became nothing but red light and intense searing heat.

Time seemed like it stretched on forever as I could feel my body float through the air. My vision came and went as opening my eyes felt like it took every ounce of energy I had but I could see that the blast had rocketed me into the air, soaring between the skyscrapers. My mind was trying desperately to get my body to move or try to stop my descent but I just felt numb and sluggish.  It wasn't long before I saw the Sand Dune Colosseum approaching closer and closer.

"Oh no....", I remember vaguely thinking, "This is gonna hurt...."

I didn't have too long to dwell on that thought as I smashed through the ceiling with a terrible crash and blacked out completely. I'm not sure for how long but what was probably only minutes felt like hours.

It was the feeling of water gently splashing against my face that stirred me. While the loud "EEEEEE" was still buzzing in my ears, it had died down enough that I could hear men yelling and running off in the distance, more than likely frightened by the enormous butterball of a woman crashing down on them.

I cracked my eyes open slightly (it was far too bright to take in all at once) and saw that I had landed in the middle of the showers in a locker room, laying on my side. I must have caused quite a bit of collateral damage as I not only created a giant hole in the ceiling but had knocked out one of the shower heads, spraying a powerful stream of water like Niagara Falls against the opposite wall.

Despite all that, I could hear a small voice above the din. "Miss Thunder?"

My eyes following the voice's location, I gave a small gasp as I realized it was Eli crouching down beside me. I had forgotten that the OCW (Eli's wrestling stable) had a show that weekend and were using the Colosseum's facilities.

"Miss Thunder? Are you okay?", he asked again.

I had once asked Eli if he knew anything about the local superhero population on the East Coast, particularly the Ocean City Three (or the OC3 for short), made up of Red Rabbit, Talon and Miss Thunder. He had told me no but he assumed I must've been a fan of Miss Thunder since I had so many clipped newspaper articles about her on my fridge.

I had blushed and said, "Well, there's not many heroes that are fat, or.... at all, really, so it's pretty refreshing to see someone like her Fighting the Good Fight."

My mind snapping back to the present in the showers, I groaned and tried my best to sit up. "Ohhh....I'll be fine, guv'nor. I just need to get me bearings again."

"Here. Let me help you.", he said as he helped me sit up against the shower wall.

Eli then let out a strange startled gasp as he jumped back away from me, his eyes suddenly boring in right on me like a cat spotting a mouse.

Confused by the sudden shift in his demeanor, I rubbed the side of my sore face, trying to lighten the tension. "I hope I'm not bleedin'. That'd be a first."

He then uttered a word that hit me like a punch to the gut.

"P...Penny?"

The world seemed to freeze around me.  Touching my face, I was utterly mortified to feel that the left side of my mask had been torched off during the blast.

He walked back towards the wall behind him, his eyes never leaving me as he spoke my name again, this time with a more accusatory tone to it. His breathing was becoming more and more rapid as if he were having some sort of panic attack.

"P-Penny, wha...what is this? What the hell is this?!"

My eyes must've gone as wide as dinner plates as I scrambled to my feet as best as I could, yanking my scarf over my mouth. What ever fatigue I felt before left me in an instant as panic surged through my body.   "I...I...I'm sorry, I gotta go!"

I hear him call out my name again but I don't face him. Instead, I leap out of the hole in the ceiling and hightailed it out of there. Not my most inspiring moment but you have to understand, I was scared out of my wits and had a literal "Fight or Flight" moment. I chose to fly (or jump, in this case).

It was as my aching, sore body was on autopilot, running on pure adrenaline and fear as I leapt to the first place I thought of: Red Rabbit's flat.

Red Rabbit, being from a rather well-off family, owns a large loft apartment complete with a balcony and double doors large enough to accommodate my super wide frame. Thankfully, she was doing some homework on the balcony when I arrived, calling her name tearfully.

"Oh my God!", she exclaimed, seeing my torn, dirty and singed costume, "Penny, what happened?!"

I could barely speak as I landed, my words turning into loud blubbering as I buried my face onto her outdoor sofa. I could feel her dainty hands on my shoulder as she knelt down beside me.

"Calm down, Pen.", she said softly, "Just breathe and tell me what happened."

It probably took half an hour because I was so distraught but I spilled my guts about everything that happened earlier. The van bomb, the Red Riding Gang, getting my arse kicked, the laser cannon, crashing through the Colosseum's roof  and Eli finding out about my identity.

"Oh...oh, Cassie...", I sniffled, "I fucked up. I fucked up so bad."

"Babe, it's okay", she says with that familiar sisterly voice, "It'll be fine but.... well, you really need to sort this out."

"How? You weren't there, Cass. You didn't see the look in his eyes. All that hurt, that....anger."

"Well, you can't hide from Eli forever. You owe it to him, as his girlfriend, to explain yourself. "

"B...but...what if he....if he..."

She sat up straight on the sofa and sighed, "If, and that's only an IF, worse comes to worse, you come right back over here and we'll order from all the pizza joints in town. Hell, we'll get every flavor of ice cream to go along with it and stuff ourselves silly."

I let out an amused snort. The levity I always hear in her voice always tends to brighten up the darkest of situations.

Rabbit went ahead and called Eli for me, arranging a meeting between the two of us in an hour, atop the Colosseum. We shared a hug before I took off, dreading what would probably be one of the toughest conversations I've ever had in my life.

The sun had already set by the time I arrived, the city lights popping on one by one. Looking over the roof's edge, I could see the hole I made when I crashed. Even though most buildings have insurance in the case of superpowered collateral damage, when this is all said and done, I need to apologize to the building owners for the mess I made.

I couldn't dwell too long about the hole as a distinct male voice spoke up from behind me.        

"Penny."

I heard none of the usual warmth or humor in that voice. I took a deep breath, peeled off what was left of  my ruined mask and turned around.

There was Eli, his arms crossed with a sour look on his face. It was his eyes that really struck me. A million emotions must have been going through his head as his eyes ranged from angry to sad to confused.

After what felt like an eternity of awkward silence, I finally spoke up.

"Hey..."

Eli sneered and let out a sharp "ruff" as he started pacing back and forth. I stood my ground and watched as he stomped towards the edge of the building, peering out into the city skyline, as if he didn't even want to face me.

"How long?", he asked sternly.

I wanted to speak but I could feel an all-too familiar wave of anxiety and dread overwhelm me. My mind felt like a complete blank as if whatever explanation I had conjured up for the last hour or so had vanished, leaving me alone with my very angry, maybe-soon-to-be-ex boyfriend. All I could muster was a bunch of half-hearted "Ummm"s and "Uhhhh"s.

"How long have you been like this?!", he asked again loudly.

I could feel hot tears stream down my face as I could barely squeak out, "S...S...Since I came to O...Ocean City...".

He whipped around and "ruffed" again. Despite his anger, his eyes were also filled with tears.

"So all that stuff about needing the wheelchair, having some sort of 'condition'? That was all a lie? Huh?!"

I could only nod as I practically whispered. "Yes. Yes, I lied to you. I didn't want you to find out about...."

I gestured to my costume, "...this".

He growled out in a low voice, "Why? Did you think I was too stupid to understand? Did you think I couldn't handle it?"

I choked out, "No! God, no! Eli, I...I...I didn't want you to get hurt."

"BY LYING TO ME?!", he bellowed. "By making me think you were some...helpless girl that needed some idiot to take care of her? Why?! Did you enjoy making me think that you actually cared about me? By making me worry about how you were, if you needed help? But no! Apparently, you're that...that Miss Thunder hero! The same girl that can punch cars and leap into the sky! You were fine this whole time! I used to get worried sick when I would think about you being all alone in your apartment, too big to take care of yourself! But nope! Looks like you can move around fine this whole fucking time! What the hell is the matter with you?! Is that all I am to you?! Just some...some servant boy?!"

Hearing him of all people yell at me was the final straw to an already shitty day as I fell to my knees and sobbed, burying my face in my hands. How could I have been so stupid? So utterly fucking stupid?

The world around me seemed to fade away, the lights dimmed, the sounds of traffic disappeared. All that was left was Eli's angry voice and my own thoughts screaming at me a barrage of insults and putdowns. It felt like every negative thought I ever had was coming at me at once.

You're a disgrace....

Stupid fat whore...

He'll never love you....

Everybody would be better off without you...

I felt as if I would be overwhelmed in those thoughts like sinking in a mudhole before I finally found my voice again. I shouted out the only thing that came to my mind, "I did it to protect you! They'll kill you if they find out about you!"

He stopped in his tracks, "Wha...what do you mean?"

"In...in the comics I read, every time the hero's friends or family find out about their secret identity, the bad guy will...kidnap them or torture them or...kill them. I didn't want that to happen to you! I didn't want for you to get mixed up with me being Miss Thunder! You've had enough bad things go on in your life, I didn't want to add more! I...I don't want you to end up like Gwen Stacy....".

After taking a moment to catch my breath, I blurted out, "Eli...you...you're one of the best things that ever happened to me.  I....I thought for so long that....I was just gonna end up all alone. That no one would ever want me or love me. But then...you came into my life. You deserve some sort of medal, Eli. I mean, who would want to be the boyfriend of a giant blob? Some....stupid freak?"

The world was slowly creeping back to my senses but all I could focus on was the short, tanned-skin boy in front of me.

"Eli...you have every right to be mad. Absolutely every right. I've should've told you right from the start. You were brave enough to tell me about being part dog, I should've been brave enough to tell you I was Miss Thunder. But...but I'm not. I'm...I'm just a coward..."

I hung my head and wept bitterly, fully expecting Eli to walk away. Walk away from the hot mess in front of him and get some stability back in his life. But to my surprise, he trotted up to me and placed his hand under my cheek.

"Penny...", he said, the tears flowing down his face as well, "It...it's okay."

I looked him right in the eyes as he let out a deep sigh, "I get it. I...I guess I understand why you would hide...this...from me. I guess it would be hard to explain."

I shook my head and muttered. "No....please don't..."

Deep down, I didn't want him to forgive me.  Scream at me, hit me, hate me but don't forgive me. I felt as if I didn't deserve it. Not after all this time together.

"Hey, hey. Hear me out first.", he whispered. "Penny, I escaped from a lab that put me through some rough shit on a regular basis, I survived in the streets alone for over a year, I fight guys twice my size in a packed stadium for a living."

His face slowly formed a smile, "Tell me. Do you honestly think some jerkoff in a silly costume is gonna scare me? That they, of all people, are gonna put down the Black Dog?"

I tried to smile back but I guess my emotions got the better of me as I only wept harder as I wrapped my arms around him.

"I...I'm sorry, Eli! I'm sorry! I'm sorry..."

He quietly shushed me as he stroked my hair, "It's okay, Penny. I forgive you."

Eli gave me a smooch on my forehead as our gazes locked, our eyes red from all the tears.

"Can...can we make a promise with each other, though?", he asked timidly.

I sniffled, "Anything, E."

"Can we promise not to keep...secrets from each other anymore?"

I nodded eagerly as I squeezed him tighter, "I promise."

Eli let out a surprised "Oof!" before I realized I was embracing him too hard.

"Oh! Sorry!", I squealed, immediately releasing him. He didn't look too angry though as he gave a short laugh.

"So I wasn't imagining it. You ARE stronger than you look!", he grinned, shaking some feeling back into his arms.

After spending a few moments to try and calm ourselves, Eli cracked his knuckles and asked, "Now then, who were the people that threw you into the locker room and how hard do I kick their asses?"

"No.", I said sternly as I wiped my nose and rose back up to my feet, towering over Eli, "How hard do WE kick their arses?"      

I led Eli, now donning his Black Dog outfit, to the scene of the attack. The place was surrounded by cops and emergency crews, sifting through the debris. Not wanting to deal with the police at the moment, Eli and I hung back in a nearby alleyway.  We were both disturbed to see that the entire warehouse block behind me during the laser blast was utterly demolished, only scorched earth left in its wake.

"Penny", Eli questioned in a solemn whisper, "You got hit by whatever did that?"

"Yup.", I answered, my skin still felt a bit tingly from the laser's heat.

Immediately, Eli dropped down on his hands and knees and started sniffing the ground.

"Wha-what are you doing?", I asked, trying to sort out his strange actions.

"Tracking.", he said almost monotonely.

After a few minutes, he perked his head up. "You said these guys looked like robot people, right?"

"Well, cyborgs, technically but yes. Why? You got something?"

*Sniff Sniff*

"Oil..."

*Sniff!*

"Metal shavings......"

*SNIFF*

"Claymore mine explosive powder!"

He shot up to his feet and pointed east, further into the warehouse district. "That way!"

I scooped him up in my arms and leaped into the air. Although he clung to me tightly, Eli looked rather amused by the experience. "Wow!", he yelled over the wind, "Is this how you get around as Miss Thunder?"

I nodded, "Fun, isn't it?"

He grinned, "Go higher!"

Leaping on top of a tall construction crane, I dug my heels in and went soaring across the night sky.  Although Eli would've enjoyed spending all night leaping over the city, he knew we still had a task to to do first as he gave a loud *SNIFF* and pointed at a dim-looking warehouse coming below us.

"There!", he shouted.

I landed as gracefully as I could atop the building across the street. Eli hopped down from my arms and started sniffing rapidly, his nose pointing directly at the warehouse.

"They're in there for sure!", he growled, his tail wagging in anticipation, "I can smell explosives and gun powder!"

"Excellent!", I exclaimed, patting Eli on the back.

"What now? How do we get in there?"

I crossed my arms and closed my eyes, trying to think of a good strategy for us to not only catch the Red Riding Gang with their trousers down but leave without any further injuries. The last thing I want is for Eli to get hurt in his first superhero outing. It wasn't long before an idea popped in my head.

"Come here, E. I think I've got something..."

After a good long while of plotting, we both crept across the street and peered through one of the dirty windows. Although it was dimly lit, we could make out Red and Woodsman drinking beer and watching a small TV, their backs to us. Their tall RoboWolf companion was facing the back entrance, standing as still as a statue.

We both gave a curt nod to each other as Eli scurried around the back while I jumped to the top of the neighboring building. From up there, I could keep an eye on things as Eli threw one small pebble after another at the back door.

I assumed Wolf must've heard the racket as I could hear loud stomping from inside. As the door swung open, Eli spun around and shook his bum at the robot.

"Yoo-hoo!", he taunted, sticking his tongue out and gave his bottom a smack.

Wolf must've not liked that as it gave a growl like a truck backfiring and leaped after Eli, who made a mad dash towards the nearby alleyway. I was impressed by Eli's deft maneuvering through the alley as he ran on all fours, leaping over trash cans and using the fire escape to swing like an acrobat.

Just as Wolf was beginning to close the gap between them, I made my move. Timing it just right, I stepped over the edge of the building and landed right on top of Wolf, completely crushing them under my near half-ton frame.  It was a bit messier than I intended as I got drenched with oil and pieces of metal went everywhere, making a frightfully loud crash.

When the dust cleared, Eli and I gave each other a thumbs up before I grabbed him and leaped to the top of the warehouse. He then put his ear to the roof to use his doggy hearing to listen inside.

"There's a male voice saying, 'What the fuck was that?!' ", he dictated, "Now a female is saying, 'You stay put! I'll go check it out!' ".

"Perfect.", I whispered as I readied myself for the next part of the plan.

I stood by the edge of the roof, looking out towards the city lights. Now it was my turn to act as bait as I kept still for what felt like almost ten minutes, no doubt enough time for Red to discover Wolf's crushed body.  I slowly turned around and scanned the rooftop for that familiar shimmer. While I saw nothing out of the ordinary, Eli stepped out of the shadows and started to slowly creep on his tip-toes in my direction.

"Blimey! It sure is a miracle I survived that laser blast!", I said out loud, trying to wipe off some of the oil on my legs. "That Red Riding Gang is pretty tough, alright! Maybe I should just let them take me in for the bounty!"

Eli stood still for a moment and tapped his finger in the air. "The "air" between us suddenly became distorted.   "You know, you really shouldn't wear perfume when you're on the job.", he whispered.

Grabbing a hold of the invisible cyborg in front of him, he bent over backwards and performed a German Suplex on Red, slamming her hard on the ground. (You can thank Eli for telling me some of his wrestling moves)

She groaned as her cloak's stealth mode wore off but Eli wasn't finished with her as he yanked her up by her arm and swung her in an Irish whip in my direction. She bounced off my belly and staggered back only to be clotheslined in the face by Eli, knocking off her lower samurai mask.  If she wasn't a murderous killer-for-hire, I'd say Red had an actually pretty face.

Not giving her a chance to regain her composure, Eli sprung on top of her, sitting on her back and twisted her leg back in a rather painful angle.

"Ahh! Get the fuck off of me!", she yelled, wriggling like a captured animal.

"No!", Eli shouted back, "Not until you stop trying to kill Miss Thunder!"

"Screw you, asswipe! We're not going to lose out on our payday, you little shi-OW OW OW!", Red hollered as Eli twisted her leg further.

After what felt like an eternity of Eli twisting and Red writhing in pain, she finally shrieked out , "FINE! FINE! THE HIT'S OFF! WE WON'T KILL MISS THUNDER!! LET GO OF ME, PLEASE!!!"

Eli finally released her as she rolled on her back, rubbing her sore leg, wincing loudly. "Goddamn! You almost broke my leg, you jerk!"

"You got off easy.", Eli growled.

Red turned towards me and smirked, "You know it doesn't matter if we don't kill you! Everyone wants a piece of that slimeball Fortunato's money and they'll just keep on coming and coming for you!"

"So! It's Alonzo Fortunato who put out the hit, I see!", I stated with a smile.

The color drained from Red's face as she realized what she had just admitted.  I knelt down and patted her face. "Thank you for that information. Now, Eli, if you would do the honors?"

Eli then pulled her up to her feet and kicked her hard in the stomach. But as she knelt over, Eli spun around (his back to her), grabbed her head and dropped to his bum on the ground, slamming her face into his shoulder, knocking her out cold.

"Whoa-ho-ho!", I exclaimed, "What move was that?"

He smiled, "Some move I saw from a wrestler down South. I don't know what it's called but I like it!"

"All right, Mr. Black Dog. We're not done yet. There's still one last thorn in my side..."              

Hopping back to the ground and sticking to the shadows, we could already hear Woodsman starting to get a bit...well, paranoid.

"Red?! Wolf?! What the hell are you guys doing out there?!", he called out in the middle of the warehouse floor, clutching his axe tightly, "You assholes better not be fucking with me!"

He spun in a slow circle, his eyes wide with fear as sweat drenched his brow. "For God's sake, give me a some sort of sign!"

I did as he asked and slid Wolf's head, ripped clean from its shoulders, across the floor behind him.  He yelped with a jump, cursing up a storm. "Ah, fuck me! Oh shit shit shit!"

Panting loudly, he dropped the axe and went immediately for the laser cannon.  It was a bit too unwieldy for him to handle alone but he still managed to heft it up on his shoulders. I could see that same red light start to glow from within the barrel.

"You fat bloated tramp! I know it's you! Get the fuck out here! Get out here or, I swear to God, I'll blow this whole fucking neighborhood up!"

The cannon was now starting to hum with a unsettling drone. "YOU HEAR ME, YOU LITTLE SHIT?! BELIEVE ME, I'LL DO IT!"

Channeling my best Frank Miller Batman, I whispered behind his ear, "I believe you."

As Woodsman spun around, his face came immediately in contact with both my and Eli's fists, rocketing him across the warehouse and through the brick wall, landing in a heap on the road outside. It was a punch that would've made Sal Buscema proud.

We then tied up Red and Woodsman on top of the scrap pile that was now Wolf and watched as the police picked them up from atop the roof. Seeing the paddy wagon drive down the street, I gave a sigh of relief that had been building up for hours now and laid down on my back, gazing up at the night sky.

Eli followed suit but his eyes were only on me. He cleared his throat, "So....."

While the immediate threat was taken care of, the fact that Eli now knew I was Miss Thunder was still a big elephant in the room.

I rolled on my side to face him. I know we cleared the air between us earlier but what now? How do we go forward with our relationship as Eli is now one of the very few people that knows my secret identity?

"This is what you do when you're not at school? Or hanging out with me and your friends?", he asked quietly. It was hard to read his face. Was he still a little upset?

"Umm...yeah. I'm...I'm Miss Thunder when you're not around. Wha...what do you think?", I replied, stammering.

"You mean you fight bad guys and get to save people? Like in your comics?"

I nodded, "Yeah. Just like the comics."

A smile slowly crept onto his face. "I think that's pretty damn cool."

"R...Really?", I said, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. Hearing him say that felt like a huge weight had fallen off my chest and I wasn't quite sure how to mentally process it.

"Mmm-hmm", he nodded back, his smile growing by the second. He scooted closer to me and tried his best to wrap his arms around me. "I guess I'm a lucky guy."

"How so?"

" 'Cause not only do I get to date the prettiest girl in the world, I get to date the raddest superhero too."

I couldn't hide my tears any longer as my face started to blush.

"Oh, Eli..."

I pulled him in closer as our lips met, the city lights shining down on the two of us.

As we parted, Eli cleared his throat again, looking a bit nervous. "What's the matter, E?", I asked, puzzled by his expression.

"Do...do you think we could go....jumping around the city again? That...that was really fun."

I couldn't help but laugh as I sat up. I pointed towards my back and motioned with my head. "Hop on."

He grinned as he climbed on, piggyback style, as I rose to my feet.

"Ready?"

"Ready!"

With that, I bounded high amongst the sparkling Ocean City skyline.

[erinartemis]

OMGOMGOMGKFMSGSKB IM FREAKING OUT IT'S HERE!!! MURDER DRONES EPISODE 7 TEASER!! EEEEEE!!! I went frame by frame and picked out some cool scenes I wanted to scream about, so get ready for a bunch of crazed ramblings and some theories !! (Long post ahead, folks)

Okay first of all- just- the lighting in these shots ✨ simply gorgeous... Also that "poster" thing in the background of the first image is very interesting.. obviously it says HELP (though that looks scrawled-on afterward with probably blood), and it looks like there could be possibly eyes? EDIT: it's not eyes it's two drones standing !!!

Also can we appreciate how creepy cool that hole in the ground is :00

THEIR ROOMS! THE SILLIES' ROOMS!!! WHAT SECRETS DO THEY HOLD?? I hope we find out

EDIT: THEY'RE LOCKERS NOT ROOMS OOPSIES

Good to see we've still got a bit of that classic md humor: "not to be overdramatic but core collapse" xd

N oh no N IS HE OKAY?? what am I talking about ofc he's not (I'm going to cry at this episode)

OKAY NEXT-

This thing. What is this thing. Probably part of the Solver, as it's all organic and eldritch-y, and it has veins. It looks lit from behind, almost like we're looking out from the inside of something? I think it's possible somebody gets dragged into one of those physical manifestations of the Solver, and this could be their perspective from inside it! Oooor we're looking at it from the outside, and there's something glowing inside the mass.

Next up, these guys??? So many possibilities here... They look like humans, but they aren't necessarily so, just like the "Tessa Isn't Human" theory. And from what little you can see in the teaser, they are moving in an odd way- suspicious. I originally thought they could be manifestation of the Solver or something, created to confuse, but after considering it for a bit, I realized it's more likely this scene is a flashback to when the core collapsed.

SOLVERUZISOLVERUZISOLVER- OHHHH BOY SOLVER UZI

Okay. This shot is a bit confusing; can't really make out what's going on- To me, it looks like something is possibly exploding? And the red string things are lasers or something? Also the blobs in the foreground definitely look like Solver hands, but- that's all I've got for this one

Tessa. Tessatessatessa tessa are you pulling a sword on Uzi? oh no, you are, aren't you, ohh no

WHAT DID UZI SEE. ON THAT TV SCREEN. HELP SHE LOOKS SO TRAUMATIZED- Also also wanted to point out the "freaking ninja star" on the ground.. little callback there :,)

the crucifix will be important, oo religious imageryyy eee

DOG.

Small thing, this is clearly the same scene from the GLITCHx 7/8 teaser, but it's the shot from a little bit before the clip in that teaser plays. I wonder how much control Uzi has over herself at this point... These robots are going to so much pain someone help them

norinorinori nori I'M SO READY FOR THE LORE AND FLASHBACKS EEEE

OMGOMGOGMOGMOMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HYPED I WAS WHEN I SAW THIS- WE'RE GETTING MURDER N YALL!!! FIRST TIME SINCE THE PILOT EEEE!!! Oh my gosh I just KNOW it's going to be an emotional response to something horrible happening- something to do with Uzi getting fully possessed, or almost dying, or N THINKING she's dead, or just all the stress of EVERYTHING, along with V's (hopefully not actually) death, and it just pushes him to his breaking point OH AND all the repressing he's been doing this whole time WILL NOT BE HELPING WITH THAT !!! I'm SO EXCITED TO FIND OUT AAAA-

Oh it could also be that N gets factory-reset, causing him to actually lose his memories or something, which is AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PILE OF ANGST, but personally I hope/think it'll be closer to the first one... It seems very likely to me that all of the stuff N's been going through (and how he's just been pretending everything's fine) would catch up to him, and it would lead to an "outburst" of everything he's been bottling up. PLUS do y'all remember that merch ad?? I know it was just a promo, but merch stuff has been shown to be kind of relevant to the plot in the past soo... yeah I'm feeling very good about this theory-

Okay so this is the same guy from the earlier image with all the humans- That feels notable, like they're going to be important. And is it just me and my poor video quality or does the Sentinel hand look glitchy?? Could it have turned on the humans like the one that turned on "Tessa" in Cabin Fever??

Oh dear, that's oil (or blood; they whole thing's too red to tell) coming from Uzi's eye... Feeling like the same thing that happened to Doll happens to Uzi... agh the ANGST hdfbsjsb

DOOOOOLL DOLL DOLL !!! SHE'S THERE !! I THINK SHE HAS BUTCHER KNIVES AGAIN !! I wonder who she's fighting... (I mean it could be a sentinel, but it looks like she's talking, so I'm guessing it's one of the group) ee I'm excited to see where Doll's character goes from here !!

ALLLLRIGHTY!! This has been a breakdown of my personal thoughts on the teaser! I am SOOO excited; these next two weeks need to go by FAST but ik they won't- Anyways... thanks for reading ! :D