#Endurance is the very best one. I don't know what ghost possessed me there

[spilledkaleidoscope]

Skilltober Week 3 - FYS

aka the week in which I went nuts for no reason

[baronaliswritingcorner]

Regarding Fandom Gift Exchanges/My Two-Week Retreat from Fandom

(Hey, all! Fair warning: there's fandom drama afoot in this post, but as I'd like to elaborate upon a leave of absence next month, it's kinda an unavoidable subject. If you'd rather skip all that, just know I'll be gone from 2/7-2/21. Hit me up on Discord if you'd like!)

So, for those not in the know, I'll be taking a two-week vacation from fandom beginning next Wednesday (2/7). About twice a year or so, I disengage from the hustle and bustle of fanfiction to recharge my batteries, annnnnd this'll be one of those times. For clarification, this means I won't be around Tumblr/Bluesky during this time, so in case you notice I've dropped off the face of the internet, well, now you know why.

For those wondering, yes, this means I'm not participating in the Felannie fic exchange; actually, I'll be upfront and admit this timing's no coincidence, because you won't see me participate in any fic exchange events. Ever.

Why's that? As it happens, I entered said fic exchange some years ago -- my very first one, in fact -- and it was nothing less than an unmitigated disaster that not only completely destroyed my faith in the exchange process but very nearly ruined fandom for me. Having come off a miserable year-long adjustment period to fandom -- wherein I felt unappreciated and unwelcome in the unfamiliar realm of AO3 -- it became apparent I had to set some hard boundaries if I were to continue writing fanfiction; unfortunately, this is one such measure, and I don't foresee it going away anytime soon.

I'm sure some of you are curious about what happened; honestly, I'm hesitant to get into the "why" if only because I'd rather not ruffle any feathers on old grudges (as you'll see below, I hold an certain opinion that I know has set people off in the past), but as there's certain layers to this particular boundary, I feel it's necessary to provide some context. To summarize in three points:

1. I'm Not Being Ghosted Again. During that exchange, I spent two whole months writing a gift for a recipient I'd never met. This piece -- Waking Dream, which I still consider my Felannie masterpiece -- grew beyond my wildest dreams. It was like I was possessed: I could only watch as my fingers danced on the keyboard, typing out idea after idea, cracked gag after gag, illustrated metaphor after metaphor -- all breathed into life as a three-chapter 15k fic.

An epic fake-romance-turned-real. My very best work. Penned even under the rigors of my father's (thankfully treatable) cancer diagnosis. Meticulously designed word-by-word with, to their blessing, alterations to the recipient's original request. Daydreaming day and night of how much they'd love it. All this for someone I never knew, and my recipient responded to my passion by ghosting me.

Given the whole "year of misery" thing I just mentioned, you can imagine the heartbreak I endured.

Writing fanfic is already a stressful risk -- no one idea's guaranteed to find an audience, and it's a huge struggle molding any idea into the written word. With that in mind, the gift exchange's additional burden of expecting someone to express the basic courtesy to thank you is too unhealthy of an ask, and I'm absolutely not risking that outcome again because some asshole doesn't know when to cut ties with fandom fatigue. It's one thing to say there's little one can do about it, but regardless of the circumstances, it magnifies loneliness/rejection in what should otherwise be a celebratory event and that's just an unacceptable outcome no matter how you slice it.

2. Anonymity and I Are A No-Go. (Warning: Hot Take Alert!) While I respect the idea of post-reveal anonymity on the grounds that it provides private writers an "in" with these events, I personally don't care for the practice and I'll be quite frank in how its general treatment as an unspoken rule directly contradicts how these events are marketed. (Putting it this way: why bother with the guessing game mystery when such cases slip through the cracks after the fact? Just rip the band-aid off and be open about it so people know what they're getting into.)

To make this absolutely clear: people's reason for privacy are their own, and I don't begrudge them for that choice. But as someone who regularly struggles with fandom anxiety, I view the appeal of such events as natural avenues to bond with the community -- be it solidifying familiar bonds or making new friends -- and it's only natural to expect as much given how all that's baked into the concept. (Not to mention the thrill of the mystery.) I recognize how cold and entitled this may sound, but I simply can't meet that goal with an anon gift.

Needless to say, having just come off the ghosting sh*t, I wasn't thrilled this wasn't divulged beforehand. I'd elaborate on how things escalated -- I don't think I need to describe why "I'm not interested in sharing that rule and I'm sorry you didn't consider that beforehand" is a hollow, unempathetic apology displaying a shocking lack of humility and responsibility -- but while I won't pretend I handled that fiasco perfectly, there are reasons why I can't get into detail.

We can argue all day over what, exactly, a fic exchange entails, but the point here is that like anyone else, I'm not one to enjoy having the rug pulled under at the very last minute. Call me invasive if you must, but it's not my job to deduce unspoken caveats and I don't apologize for feeling misled.

3. The Feeling's Mutual. In case this wasn't obvious, I maintain strong objections to how the moderator runs things, and I'll leave it at that.

So, that's that, really.

Since that whole mess, my approach to fandom is that I approach projects that I can control. For instance, the variables involved with fic exchange events proved themselves too risky or incompatible with my tastes, but could there exist a compromise? You betcha: I'm always up for gift exchanges or fic collaborations between friends! In fact, I've done two since then -- Love, Elusive and One-Hit Knock-Out. With receptive partners eager to join hands, there's next-to-zero chance of anything going wrong, so I can happily write fics at my leisure. (Helps they both made a big splash, too! Some of my fondest memories.)

To clarify, yes, this unfortunately means I won't be reading anything from the event. I want to make perfectly clear that while the fic exchange is a huge sore spot for me, I don't begrudge anyone for entering it; seriously, go off and have fun. Really! I encourage it. My problems with the exchange are my own and the last thing I want to do is ruin everyone's fun. All I ask is that you respect my boundaries in turn and please, please don't take this personally.

Really, I wish things were different -- honestly, jumping through these hoops to stay engaged with fandom can be exhausting, and you'd be correct in assuming I'm still wrestling with some serious emotional baggage (enough, even, that I still wonder if it's all worth it) -- but I know this is my own problem to tackle and this is the healthiest method in handling it. In case you want to reach out to me, I'll still be on Discord, so hit me up or message me for my information!

[princeescaluswords]

I see you are a huge fan of fics where Scott McCall dies. Don't worry! More content coming right up! ;)))

As a matter of fact I do enjoy fiction where Scott dies, so thank you very much.

Indeed, my first multi-chaptered Teen Wolf fanfiction, completed all in the way back in 2016 when I was new to both fandom and fanfiction and called Army of Ghosts, has Scott dying in the first chapter. He’s blown up in an ambush and then purposefully dismembered, and the rest of the story is an exploration of how Stiles copes with it. Hint: not well. It’s quite a dark story.

You see, there’s nothing wrong with Dark Fiction, by which I mean fiction which explores activities or events that are rejected as undesirable by modern society, in a way that centers the narratives on the activities or events in and of themselves, and not simply as obstacles for the protagonist to overcome. I believe that not only should these stories exist but they serve a valuable purpose when it comes to understanding the people around us.

My objection has always been to what I call Exploitative Fiction, by which I mean fiction which portrays activities or events that are rejected as undesirable by modern society, in a way that ignores context, consequences and even logic, with the end goal being to present those activities or events as positive experiences for a purpose not directly connected to the activity or event itself.

That’s wordy, isn’t it? Let me give you some examples then to help clarify. I consider it Exploitative Fiction when rape is presented as a step on the path to love, where physical coercion into the sexual act is seen as evidence of passion, but the consequences of employing violence as a shorthand for possessive desire are simply negated because the goal of the story is romantic rapture. I consider it Exploitative Fiction when a slave falls in love with their owner and they develop true feelings for each other, but they still exist within the same slave-owning society, yet the context of that relationship is ignored simply to produce the most intense version of you-and-me-against the world. I consider it Exploitative Fiction when writers create a fanfiction collection called 101 Ways to Kill Scott McCall, in which it is a safe bet that these aren’t explorations of how his death affects others but merely vessels for the unbridled rage of people furious that MTV decided to film a television show with a minority heroic protagonist as the lead.

The reaction to this caution is for individuals to purposefully confuse Dark Fiction and Exploitative Fiction, attempting to shift the argument by obscuring the difference. They employ the motte-and-bailey fallacy, where they point out that Exploitative Fiction is a form of Dark Fiction but choose to defend Dark Fiction, which isn' t the topic. In other words, when someone says “Hey, maybe you should be careful when sharing a story where a traumatized sixteen-year-old with abandonment issues enters into a relationship with a middle-aged millionaire white male serial killer, whose very presence will isolate the teenager from his family and friends, that you don’t present it as a flawless gateway to perfect happiness?” they respond with “You just want everything to be sunshine and rainbows and good triumphing over evil, you Puritan Scold!” and suddenly a person wondering why a story straight out of the discarded scripts of To Catch a Predator is being used as spank-bank material is labeled as Goody Chastity, Implacable Enemy of Joy and Sexy Fun.

“But PEW,” you say, “Isn’t this just your opinion?” And my reply is “Yes, it is my opinion, but it’s not just mine. Let’s talk about Kyle Rayner’s girlfriend.”

For those who don’t know, the term “fridging” came about from an issues of Green Lantern, where a supervillain killed Kyle Rayner’s girlfriend and stuffed her into a refrigerator for him to find. Whatever someone may think of that particular storyline, it started a conversation about female characters being killed as a function of a male character’s development. Having a supervillain brutally murder the loved one of a hero is pretty dark. It’s Dark Fiction. No one said that supervillains can’t murder or can’t murder certain people or that the hero can’t react to those murders. The complaint was that the female character existed solely to be murdered. Her only function in the story was to generate Kyle’s angst, to set up a situation where his character is explored. She was Exploited.

Why is this a big deal? Because it happens a lot, and not just in comic books. In television, in movies, in literature, women are often reduced in narrative function again and again to shortcuts for male character development. Better scholars than me have written about this exhaustively and pointed out how this fictional exploitation feeds into real-world exploitation (and vice-versa). It’s not hard to find a significant amount of public research.

So yeah, in posts like this one, I complain about Exploitative Fiction in the fandom community to which I belong. Because it doesn’t take a literary critic to read these stories and perceive that the goal of the story isn’t to explore the darkness in which Stiles and his killer boyfriend (whether that be Derek or Peter) murder his best friend, it’s the satisfaction of rage that their white favorites weren’t the focus of the show. Again, again, and again in humiliating, degrading detail Scott is murdered or maimed or stripped of power, in one-sided beat downs that follow no discernible internal rules but one: white male characters must win. It’s not about a power struggle or logical consequences, it’s about punishing a character for daring to be the lead, and it’s racist.

You know how I know that? Because I have never found a story where Stiles and Peter hunt down and murder Isaac Lahey for the crime of abandoning the Hale Pack, slandering Peter, or physically attacking Stiles twice. Because I have never found a story where ArchSpark Stiles tortures Jackson or strips him of his lycanthropy because he almost killed the Hales and his father, rejected Derek, and was forced to serve Gerard. Because I have found few stories where Stiles is murdered by Peter because he was plotting against him, and the evidence is that Stiles said mean things about him. It’s nine hundred and ninety times out of a thousand, it's Bad Alpha/Friend Scott, or if it’s not Scott, it’s Sinister Tree Wizard Deaton. And the sample size, my friends, is very large.

So no, I’m not against Dark Fiction. In my fiction, Scott has been killed, maimed, and imprisoned. (I’ve actually been accused of being obsessed with putting Scott in jail.) I’ve explored the consequences of these actions on Scott and the people around him, and it hasn’t always been a happy ending. I look forward to reading stories where he has endured terrible trauma. I’m reading one right now that I’m simply head-over-heels about. I just think that Exploitative Fiction needs to be addressed, head on, especially when it feeds fandom racism.

[vivisextion]

I first saw Slipknot at age 14.

No one knows how I managed it. I'm not sure I even remember. These days, you have to be 16 or 18 to get into Standing areas. I do know I had to buy tickets on the phone, back in the old days (2005, that is). A singular ticket, too - none of my friends, not even the classmate who had gone with me to see Linkin Park the year before, was that into Slipknot.

But I HAD to see them. This was the Subliminal Verses tour cycle, and Vol. 3 was my first and favourite Slipknot album, even to this day. It's the reliable old warm blanket for my soul whenever I need it. It's on right now, as I write this.

My memory isn't that good, but luckily I unearthed a livejournal (livejournal!) diary entry about the event I made the next day.

August 16, 2005. I went right after school. I went to a very conservative Anglican secondary school, too. I tried not to get caught in the bathroom, as I coloured my nails black with permanent marker (I know, don't laugh) and changed into my standard metalhead baby outfit - Slipknot band shirt, black cargo shorts, and my pride and joy: steel-toe boots I somehow managed to cajole my parents into letting me own.

I caught the bus to the open-air war memorial park where the gig was going to be. I got there at 4pm, 4 hours early. A couple other maggots were already hanging around. I found myself surrounded by tombstones, and I read them all. It was the middle of the Hungry Ghost Festival, too - a very fitting time for Slipknot to pay a visit to this godforsaken hellhole of a small town I lived in. (Especially given the paranormal circumstances surrounding the making of Vol. 3.)

While I wandered around the venue (no security or sound guys were around at all), I spotted two white vans pull up to the stage, in the middle of a clearing. It was them! I spotted Joey and missed him by a hair's breadth. I was quickly ushered behind the stone archway entrance by security then.

(Funnily enough, while walking around, I got mistaken for Joey more than once. I am the same height as him, had the same long black hair, same pale skin, and was wearing almost exactly what he had been. One person claimed from behind, I was a dead ringer, apart from when I turned around, and they realised I was Chinese.)

It was soundcheck time. A sound guy testing the mics would say random things, like "testing one two three two one.... fudge fudge, I like fudge...." The band even did Purity, so us earlybirds were given a rare treat, and we screamed along from the entrance, and drummed our fists on the sides of nearby porta-potties. I hope no one was in there at the time. Whenever we got a glance of any of them, we'd scream and cheer. Finally they left again, but were soon to return.

This was the first time I'd been a part of the metal community. I was barely allowed internet in those days. But here, random strangers were friendly, striking up conversations like they'd been friends for years. Two big guys, called Trevor and Ted, looked out for me the entire gig after, keeping other big dudes from crushing me too much (I'm 5'3, remember). Other people commented on me being so baby, because I was only 14, and said they would take care of me.

When we were finally let in, right after the usher cut the rope, I ran in, screamed "WOOOHOOO!" along with a few friends I'd made. I only briefly stopped to receive this RoadRunner Records compilation CD from a roadie, then resumed running like a madman screaming and dashing into the VIP cage.

I was right up against the barricade - the first time I would ever be at a gig. People from assorted magazines and press took photos of us, and I think I got my photo taken about 10 times at least.

(This is how I got in trouble with my parents the next day. My photo had ended up in a local paper - you can see examples of that here. They had no idea what I'd been to see the night before, and were horrified when they saw what Slipknot looked like.)

We saw Sid filming us from the stage with a camcorder and screamed at him. We saw Jim and screamed at him too, and he flashed the victory sign back at us. I remember Metallica playing at the time, another one of my favourite bands.

The concert was a brutal religious experience I will never forget. People with their arms outstretched, crying and screaming out loud, moving like the devil possessed them.

The new friends around me made sure I was alright after every song! There were huge guys fainting behind us who had to get carried out, but I endured, a tiny 14 year old child. We got a family speech as per tradition, of course. "Are you guys out there all looking out for each other? We're all one big family, and we gotta look out for each other." What Corey said held true - strangers hugged, shook hands, talked, and made friends. I was heartened by how close-knit the maggot community was. It really did feel like a family, and it's felt like that ever since.

Of course, I did my first Jump The Fuck Up. It is possibly the most euphoria I've ever experienced all at one go. (Later, in 2020, I was extremely disappointed that I didn't get to do it again in London.)

They did the death masks for Vermilion, and I remember Chris helping Sid fix his mask and shirt when they'd changed back. Sid hung out near Clown's drums for most of the time too, and hugged him from behind and just latched on at one point. It was pretty adorable.

Fun fact: The version of Eyeless you hear on the 9.0 Live album is from Singapore, as is Eeyore. There are very few photos and videos from the crowd of this gig, because in 2005, very few people had camera phones. The crowd at the Slipknot gig in 2020 was a sea of arms with phones, filming the gig rather than experiencing it. Yes, I'm going to be that cranky old geezer who complains about the good old days.

Joey as usual, was fucking amazing and never failed. However, due to the fact that I was right up front, only his tiny head was visible behind his vast drum set, I couldn't see him the entire gig.

Amazingly, the government told Slipknot they were not allowed to do obscene gestures, curse, vomit (possibly due to the decomposing crow pre-show ritual), simulate humping on objects, throw faeces, or jump off stage (looking at you, Sid). I don't think our totalitarian government knew who they were dealing with, because watch what happens next.

Near the end of the gig, Corey tells the crowd “your government has given us a laundry list of things we aren’t allowed to do, your government has told us we are not allowed to swear”. Crowd goes “BOOOOOOOOO” and Corey goes “BUT WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK!!” And they launch into Surfacing, the last song. Everyone riots. Best night of my life.

You can find the setlist from that gig here. It had everything I wanted and more.

This story later got immortalised when Kerrang asked maggots for gig stories, for an article which came out in 2020. I had forgotten entirely, until people began messaging me to tell me, and one friend sent me a scan of it!

On the way out, I managed to get a shirt. I remember calling my best friend at the time, and got everyone at the merch booth to go "IF YOU'RE 555 THEN I'M 666" for her. This shirt has since been lost to the landfill, because my Christian mother took it upon herself to dispose of it the first opportunity she got. Needless to say, our relationship is not very good.

After that, I even managed to get that Roadrunner compilation album they were giving out signed. The band was staying at the Carlton. Unfortunately, Joey wasn't there, neither was Clown, and Mick was swarmed by guitar nerds so, 6/9 it is. It is a great regret of mine that I'll never have anything signed by him, nor will I ever get to see him perform ever again.

The next day, I went to school, my head swimming. Yes, I went to see Slipknot ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. I was a giant bruise, from my ribs and my chest, to my hips and knees, from being slammed into the barricade like a screen door in a hurricane. Most of all, my sore, headbanged-out neck could barely hold my head up. Classmates thought I had been in a fight. I was torn between battle-scarred exhaustion and hyperactive ranting about the most amazing gig of my short life (it still is, to this day). When teachers spoke to me, I wanted to reply, "Fuck trigonometry! I've just seen SLIPKNOT. Do you not understand that my world is different? Do you not understand that *I* am now different?"

My country was a small, conservative town that Slipknot had graced with their unholy presence. Corey Taylor once said that where he grew up in Iowa had a way of making a 16 year old boy feel like a 36 year old man (or something to that effect). I felt that in my weary bones as a teenager, being from a place just like that. Years later, Watain would run into worse trouble, and wouldn't even be allowed to perform. The Christian stranglehold is stronger than ever. It was a good thing that back then Slipknot had the element of surprise, striking serpent-fast and choking this society by the neck for a too-brief time, before they departed.

After that, my desire to play the drums only grew like a weed. Joey Jordison had, has, and will always inspire me as a drummer, and seeing the beast live (or what little I could spy behind the massive riser) had only spurred me on. I had always been a noisemaker, be it driving my parents mad with chopsticks on pots and pans, or driving my teachers mad with pencils on my desk. But of course, my parents wouldn't have any of it. I'd have to wait a good 14 more years before I'd be able to afford lessons and later, a kit of my own. Better late than never, right?

There will never be enough words to describe the impact Joey has had on my life. And it isn't just Slipknot, either. I could write another essay on his time with the Murderdolls and its influence on my own gender-non-conforming ways. Suffice to say, my wardrobe doesn't look too dissimilar to his during the early Dead in Hollywood days.

I told my boss I could not come into work today. I was grieving. I said that my music teacher died, as I didn't think she'd understand the magnitude of my loss. In a way, it's true. And I am not the only one Joey has nudged on the path to being a musician, that much is certain. To the rest of us, I wish strength and love for you in this difficult time. The best way to honour Joey, who truly loved music, both the creation and appreciation of it, is to pass that gift on. Teach it to someone. He is the reason I picked up the sticks in the first place, and one day, they'll be handed on, the heavy metal baton for the next generation.

And finally: remember that the ones we have lost are never truly gone.

Vinnie

P.S. See if you can spot me in the crowd photos in this post!

[happy-mimin]

➪𝙃𝙞𝙨𝙤𝙠𝙖 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙤𝙬 𝙭 𝙗𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

➪𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙨: 𝘿𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙮 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠, 𝙙𝙤𝙜𝙜𝙮𝙨𝙩𝙮𝙡𝙚, 𝙥𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙘 𝙨𝙚𝙭, 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠-𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨.

➪𝘿𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙖𝙩: 10:51 am

➪𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙩: 2:15 pm

❤︎𝘼𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧’𝙨 𝙙𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠: “I’m messed up for liking this man but like cmon..( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)“

———————————-————————-————

Alot of folks stared at the both of you. Having deceiving smirks that had intentions of evil in it but most of all.... having an very uncomfortable feeling that someone is staring straight into you're soul but all of them knew better than to even say a word towards you.

Remember having that feeling that someone was staring? Yeah? It was your clown of a boyfriend that had you on his lap with a smug smirk on the corners of his lips as he petted at your curves.

"You do this everytime, can't you just let my ass sit on a regular seat?" You said while puffing out you're cheeks like they had been stuffed with something, but all he did was lean towards you and creepily whispered into you're ear.

"Aww..but that wouldn't be no fun~." Hisoka patted your buns and gripped the left one with his large hand making you bite you're bottom lip. "I like you're thick ass warming my coc-" . You placed both hands on his mouth before he caused a scene between the two of you, just with the way you're heart was beating and sweat that cascaded down your face. God damn, his freakiness was gonna be the death of you someday (a pleasurable one at that.)

'Though.... a little teasing wouldn't hurt nobody, now would it hisoka?' shit. Provoking him in public would mean some kind of price: boldness would get you more like embarrassed in the naked eye of everyone and hisoka couldn't care one bit. Placing you're hands on his knees you swiftly pushed up from the middle of his lap and decided to go get something to eat because your stomach been bugging you for a good minute now.

LATER THAT DAY:

His dark aura wouldn't go away and you didn't even know why? Was it blood lust? Nah. Horny? You was wondering half of the day as the two walked through a couple local seafood and market places, but as soon as you tried to ask him what he was mad about he'll just look your direction and tell you it was nothing to worry about. Mainly that was odd but you shouldn't really stick it out ur ass for the time being.

"Aww baby look! Won't this look good on me- HISOKA!" God did he jump in other shock and how much he probably missed you're yelling but that besides the point, he looked down at you and was still standing behind you're small frame and looping his arms to pull your back up against his chest. Wait hold up... his behaviors are very familiar..oh my God; he Jealous.

"(Nick name), I see that smile on your face. Who are you smiling at?" He said while holding onto you're hips more..in the corner of your eye you saw a man that was slight staring at you, every second he got.

"You jealous?" He scoffed and chuckled softly into the shell of your ear as he looked at the man just for a moment. As for you- you was gonna make fun of him for a moment before his hand quickly slipped into your shirt where he rubbed up his slender fingers up and down you're tummy..in an sensual way. "Y-You better not..o~oh.." a soft sigh escaped the corners of your plush brown lips as he was moving more down and playing with the waistline of your cotton panties.

"Better not what my love? Might wanna keep quiet I'm gonna give mister stalker over there a little show of what he can't have.." he voice was deep and rich which only made you shiver as the lining of his fingers was pressing up against your damp clothed crotch.

You stopped him though before pointing into a nearby changing room, hisoka caught on and you lead him in there with a small grin as while he went ahead and grinned at the stranger and whispered something into the air for only he could hear. When his skin turned as pale as a damn ghost.. this man don' went ahead and left the store.

Hisoka giggled before getting yanked into the room along with the door clicking shut immediately after. Before he could even process a word, you was already jumping on to him, wrapping you're legs around his waist and smashing your soft lips onto his own almost trying to suck the air out of his lungs. You was making a satisfied "mmmm..." sound as if tasting you combined salivas was the best feeling in the world besides the sex.

The makeout session you two was having probably only last a few seconds before both of you pulled back and left only a trail of you're jointed spit connecting to both your lips. You have gulped in some air as he only gave you a second before pushing your body down onto the floor and spreading you're knees forcibly while getting between them. "A~Ah..you was jealous huh?" You said while already going ahead letting you're grabby hands have a good grip on his ass as you pushed his clothed erection against you're pussy.

"My dear..fuck~..I don't know what you mean by any chance, whatsoever.." he said before diving back down and kissing you all over like you're: neck, jaw, and lips and even the hot way you both swirled your tongues together. Him denying that he wasn't being possessive of you is just what made the muscle in your chest patter faster.. before there was a knock at the door.

"Um ma'am..are you buying anything or do you need anything...?" You looked at hisoka and he groaned before letting you get up and hide behind the door. "Actually, I will love for you to past me those nice shorts and shirt over there!" You pointed out and the man nodded before he quickly started a little conversation with you, there was a few giggles here and there but hisoka definitely had other plans as he got behind you and grinned wickedly while the sound of a belt buckle ranged into your ears.

Hisoka morrow..

You're inner thoughts went skyhigh as the nice man in the front was talking about his family and you took every muscle in your face to keep it straight. With a lick of his lips, he edged his manhood to your slick entrance and had a grip on your soft hips before plunging himself deep into your tight folds like they were his missing puzzle piece.

"O-Oh.. mng~..my god.." you softly whimpered before he peeked his head up in confusion and asked if you were ok and with all the force sterness you could give, you nodded and just said you was fine but that wasn't really the case because behind you was a man who was gripping you're pillow like buns and slamming them down against his waist; making them have a stingy sensation. "Ha ha~ love..mph.. damn your pussy is amazing today.." He said while pulling your hips closer. By this range you're legs was going to give out and hisoka noticed this by just how they was shaking. Finally another customer had come in and the worker went ahead and seen you off before you immediately closed the door and pressed the flat of your palms against the door as hisoka was fucking you like there was no tomorrow.

"Y-You..~!..ngh..fuc..harder.." The word's that were at least trying to form was just coming out as commands. "Oh hush dear..my dick not going anywhere~.. now I want you to arch more." You looked back at him and he only grin as he grabbed into your hair and made you arch (wig glue saves the day bitch!).

Oh he was hitting all the right zones and since he made you endure some embarrassment from earlier; he decided to be nice and push your body onto the floor but hold your lower half into the air while soft quiet pants left your drooling lips. "Boy..H-Hurry..~up.." Was your only response and damn was this dude quick about it too.

Hisoka filled you back up to the brim and was looking like he wasn't stopping until his selfish fires of lust were burned. "A~Ah..God baby I'm close..~" he aired out softly into your ear and soon it wasn't to late for you as the pit in ur tummy started to feel painfully weird but like in a pleasurable way.

As his last few deep thrusts hit that one spot that had you coating on his cock and even some of your arousal dripping down you're thighs. The blissful release was so nice that you didn't realize that hisoka turned you to face until he smacked his lips into yours and started to gulp down each of your desperate but quiet moans.

Seeing you like this.. ecpectially in public was the most sexiest shit you have ever done as of being a couple. "O-Oh shit.. I'm..ngh..~!" The warm sensation of his seed overflowed in you as he started to slow his movement. You gave him a few minutes to calm down from his orgasm before there was a soft knock on the door.

10 minutes later:

"I can't believe you got us banned." You said sighing that at least they didn't give y'all a fine. Tho hisoka on the other hand felt fuckin prideful than a bitch, he looked at you and cupped you're face with both his large hands.

"I could care less~." He said with a smug grin.

♣️♦️_____________________♦️♣️

END.

Yo my back hurt and not like that.

[no-error]

Fantasy Klance Ficrec

Finally new list for fic recs. Hope ya all enjoy these awesome fics. :)

Remember check out tags!

Of Wolves and Wisps

Lance knows not to seek with his mind in the woods. The fae have a habit of twisting the desires sought by those who chase after the wisps. But when given no other choice, Lance makes the decision to alter his path. To change his fate.

He should have known, really, how things would turn out.

Never call out to wolves. One may just answer.

Words: 145,585 AO3

The Criminal Witch and His Knight of a Husband

Series

Under the rule of an unjust king, witches not employed by the crown had become illegal in the kingdom of Altea. Not wanting to work for a filthy murderer of a man, Lance spitefully refused to get his certification at the normal age of sixteen. But that was over half a decade ago. Altea is now ruled by the beautiful and reasonable Queen Allura, and Lance finds himself happily married to her head knight, despite his fugitive status.

Lance struggles with helping hot headed, prone to danger Keith stay alive, while simultaneously keeping his ability to cast spells a secret. He can't have him figuring anything out. After all, the last thing he wants is for his own husband to arrest him.

Words: 80,309 AO3

Star Cursed

A Dragon familiar is the last thing Lance expects to summon when he graduates lowest in the class at the Magerium. All he wants to do is summon a toad or a cat and get to work, but summoning a High Magic creature like a Dragon is something no one has done in hundreds of years. The Dragon, named Keith (why, WHY is he named Keith), is trained to be a familiar for the most powerful of mages.

Unluckily for him, Lance is assigned the task of lesser potions master. Lance has to navigate a precarious balance of grumpy-Dragon-with-nothing-to-do on top of his workload of boring tasks. That’s when he isn’t enduring the ridicule of the other students, who believe him to be “Star Cursed.” To make matters worse, discontent in the Magerium is brewing and it might mean danger for all High Magic creatures, which currently includes one Dragon named Keith

Words: 152,239 AO3

fit the crown to my head

“What’s the fun in a masquerade if you don’t flirt outrageously with the prettiest person in the room?” the young man says flippantly, and then winks at Keith. Keith huffs a laugh, amused.

“You keep saying things like that, but you haven’t seen my face,” he says, gesturing to his mask. “I could have warts under here. I could have spots, or scars.”

“You’d be lovely even with all of those,” the young man says, and he suddenly sounds serious. It takes Keith by surprise, makes his heart twist along with his stomach. “Your eyes,” he continues, tilting his head. “I’ve never seen eyes like yours before.”

Words: 75,705 AO3

Magic Bound & Unbound

Set in a world where familiars and witches are paired to perform magic together, Lance is an aspiring witch who is desperate to find his bondmate. He's dreamed of the day when he would be able to perform bonded magic, but hides a dark secret that could ruin everything. Keith is a familiar who's seen a little too much of the world. He's been paired with witches multiple times and each one has forced and broken a bond on him, so now he swears off ever letting himself be paired again.

When they meet, though, Lance triggers something in Keith and it scares the hell out of him. A part of him desperately wants to be paired, but he's not sure he can take rejection one more time.

Words: 56,345 AO3

Regarding Park Benches and Demon Bites

Lance forces his eyes open, all the way this time. It takes them a second to adjust, and when they do, his stomach plummets to the center of the earth. The man is in a black shirt, the sleeves rolled up on his forearms to reveal the runes inked across his pale skin. There’s a sword strapped across his back, a big one.

“You’re a Shadowhunter,” Lance blurts. Lance’s mother had warned him about getting mixed up with these bloodthirsty maniacs, and here he is, half conscious next to the very people he’d worked so hard to avoid the last two years. He’s fucked. Royally screwed. He isn’t sure what kind of punishment is handed out to warlocks for public intoxication but his mind races through options like indefinite imprisonment, dismemberment, death?

Words: 8,999 AO3

you build your tower (but call me home)

In the land of Arus, the youngest Nalquodian prince—Prince Leandro—is hidden away in a little castle that overlooks the kingdom; a countermeasure to protect him from the Galran assassins that have sworn to take his life.

And in the tallest tower of the castle, behind a grimy rose window and under a dusty sheet, is an enchanting gargoyle that the prince finds himself compelled to visit every day.

Almost as if by a spell...

Words: 63,041 AO3

Wild Magic

The Vastaya are an ancient and proud race, born of magic and man, and they are dying. The spread of humans makes the magic of their homelands run thin. What is left is preyed upon and corrupted by the rising galra influence.

After losing their home, what remains of the Marmora tribe scatters, fighting the spread of corruption where they can. For the last few centuries, this is the only life Keith has known. And with Shiro’s disappearance, he’s more alone than ever. But he keeps going, even if it means losing himself. For the fight. For his people. For their future. For his homelands. For magic.

The last thing he expected to find is another feathered vastaya, one with wings that shine like the sky and move like waves when he dances. He never asked for company, never wanted it. But as Keith finds himself growing fond of Lance’s flippant attitude and determined blue eyes, he thinks that maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t want to fight alone anymore.

Words: 151,776 AO3

A Touch of Magic

"Keith—" He feels his heart lurch as Keith squats down next to him. One hand on his wolf's head, scratching behind his ear. His eyes, however, remain fixed on Lance, and he had really hoped that the whole dry-mouth-lump-in-the-throat-heart-skipping-a-beat thing would've stopped happening when he turned, but here he is. Vampiric and still the flustered mess he was when he was human. "Buddy, I can't breathe—"

"You don't have to breathe," He says, that ghost of a smile still fixed and the whisper of amusement in his voice.

It sends chills down his spine.

Lance huffs as much as he can when there's a large wolf crushing his chest. "That doesn't mean it's not uncomfortable."

"You'll survive." He pats his wolf one last time before pushing to his feet. "Better luck next time, Lance."

"I'll get you one day, Keithy boy." He calls out as Keith walks away, disappearing from his vision and continuing down the path. "Just you wait."

Words: 19,953 AO3

For Fox Sake

Foxtail series

Photography has always been an passion of Keith's. Being able to capture that perfect moment - grant it immortality and unleash it to the world so that the people may decide what stories they tell - is what he lives for.

So when given the opportunity to expand his horizons, Keith finds himself on a month long excursion in the middle of nowhere, with only his camera and his own thoughts to keep him company.

And this forest - this mountainous landscape seemingly untouched by human hands - holds more than just a vast array of scenic landscapes and wondrous wildlife worthy of being captured in film.

It holds a secret. One Keith hadn't anticipated discovering, much less believing. And though they say "take only pictures, leave only footprints", Keith worries that when he finally has to return to his mundane world, he'll be leaving more than just tracks on the ground.

But his heart has always belonged to the woods, and he knows the fox will guard it well.

Words: 80,888 AO3

Ghost on the Shore

After moving into an desolated house in a swamp, Keith finds that the area's not as abandoned as he anticipated. He soon meets Lance, a mysterious boy that apparently lives out in the marsh, and who seems to possess magical powers to a certain degree.

Words: 37,055 AO3

It Never Rains on Saturday

Rain or Shine Series

In the magical kingdom of Altea lies an ominous tower filled with monsters. Every day, adventurers battle through the tower’s levels in a never-ending quest to slay the Demon King who lives at the very top.

Lance, a talented archer, is one such adventurer. However, Lance doesn’t want to kill the Demon King.

Lance wants to marry him.

Words: 22,726 AO3

Nameless

Lance McClain was not pale. He enjoyed the sun as much as any other, and though he was often run down or fatigued, this was due to his steadily amounting college work, not his need to sleep upside down. He was everything a vampire wasn't. Oh, except for his constant cravings for blood, and the name in cursive permanently scrawled over his wrist.

Since the name had appeared on Lance's thirteenth birthday, he'd been desperately waiting for the day he'd finally meet his soulmate. And it finally comes, the first day of his second year of college, delivering a boy that causes everything Lance had fantasized to come crashing down around him. Not only is his mate a human, but he's the kind of human that despises vampires. A hunter named Keith.

But matters of the heart aren't the only thing standing in Lance's way, for a much greater enemy is on the horizon, posing a threat not only to Lance and his family, but to Keith, too. The nameless are coming for them, and soon.

Words: 102,409 AO3

Were-woof

Living off the grid is one thing. Keith had been doing it his whole life. However, now that the mountain he has lived on his whole live is slowly being developed thanks to a ski resort it's getting harder and harder for Keith to keep to himself. Especially when he happens to catch the eye of a rather cute looking townie.

Words: 133,954 AO3

An Eternal Flame

“Do you have a deathwish?” The phoenix answers him with a question this time, apparently intent on dodging the question about its name. Maybe it’s for the best, Lance’s mama always warned him that he tended to get attached to things once he’d named them. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath.

He isn’t going to get attached this time.

Making sure that he’s still holding the phoenix’s attention, he reaches down and pushes his cloak aside, then lifts his shirt. There, bright red and ugly against his hip, are three long slashes. They aren’t scars, they aren’t healed in the slightest, they’re still red and open wounds. They don’t hurt, not in the physical sense, but Lance can’t help the repulsion he feels whenever he looks at them.

“Not a deathwish, a death sentence.”

Words: 63,692 AO3

[drpaulmacdonaldrnma]

Listen to God and His Commandments and Live (Ecclesiastes 3:1-22)

Paul MacDonald RN MA Dipl

Again, Solomon contrasts the wisdom of God alongside the evil of Satan and his demons.

Verses 1-20 is where Solomon instructs that wisdom is;

(1) Be rooted in sound teaching, verses 1-4;

(2) Rest your in trust in God (verses 5-6);

(3) The rewards those who obey (verses 7-10).

While wisdom could "sometimes" demand chastening, it "could" also bring with it profound benefits if one uses wisdom (verses 13-18), and its importance is clear since it was wisdom that undergirded God’s creation (in verses 19 and 20).

DON'T Forget God or His Wisdom

Proverbs 3:1 "My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:"

“My law”, Hebrew “Torah” from the verb “to throw, distribute, or teach, hence “teachings”.

God's Law

It is used of God’s law but here (as in 2:1), it is used of the commands and principles that God gave through Solomon.

Proverbs 3:2 "For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee."

"My son" tell us who this message is to. It is not to the world in general, but to the followers of God. God reminds us to not forget His teachings, but hide them away in our hearts. God also reminds us to walk in His ways.

Consider ALL of God's Ways

His "commandments" here are talking about all of His ways. Just as the commandment to honor father and mother promises that our days may be long upon the earth, we see the promises of length of days here if we follow in His ways.

When you know that you have done the right things, it does bring peace. Sin brings fear of punishment, but obedience brings peace.

DON'T Forsake the Path of Truth

Proverbs 3:3-4 Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:" "So shalt thou find favor and good understanding in the sight of God and man."

Loyal Kindness

“Neck … heart.” The virtues of mercy (the Hebrew word for loving kindness and loyal love), and truth that come from God are to become part of us, outwardly in our behavior for all to see as an adornment of spiritual beauty, and inwardly as the subject of our meditation. Such inward and outward mercy and truth is evidence of New Covenant salvation.

The Bible says the "merciful shall obtain mercy".

Matthew 5:7, "Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy."

"Mercy" shows love to the utmost, for God and for man.

Truth is NEVER Questioned

"Truth" cannot be underestimated. It is beyond compromise. A truthful person is a person whose character cannot and will not be questioned by anyone. One of the highest compliments that can be paid a man is to say that he is a man of truth.

Bind Mercy and Truth Around Your Neck

If a person could have the two most important strengths of character, it would be mercy and truth. This "binding them about the neck", I believe, just means to treasure them highly and don't lose them somewhere along the way. "Write them upon the tables of thine heart" has to do with the heart dictating a person's actions.

God Will Write His Will Upon Your Hearts

God will write His laws upon the heart of His people, if we will allow Him to. I believe that is the message here. God says if you have these two, mercy and truth, you have His laws on your heart. (In verse 4), we find if we practice these two, we will be able to get along with not only the men around us, but God as well.

Trust in God and Commit Your Ways to Him

Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."

This (verse 5 here), applies to all believers, but even more to those who are in the service to God. God never chose any man or woman to work for Him because of their training and ability within themselves. God chooses people like Jeremiah who was just a lad with no formal training; and God put the words in Jeremiah's mouth to give to the people. You may read all about it (in chapter 1 of Jeremiah). When we depend upon our own ability, we fall very short. For a minister of God to be effective, it must be God speaking through him.

Proverbs 3:6 "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

Three commands are given (in verses 5 and 6): Trust, meaning “rely on, depend on”; Lean not, meaning do not depend on your own native instincts, and Acknowledge him, meaning have fellowship and intimacy with God in all of life. The result of such devotion is that God will make the paths straight before you.

Here again, we get into the will of man. Man has to be willing to accept God's help and to give God the credit for the job well done. A Christian must first of all not start anything that the Lord is not in, and then we must praise Him in everything.

Praise Yahweh

Hebrews 13:15, "By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name."

If He directs our path, we shall walk in the light and not stumble and fall.

Proverbs 3:7 "Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil."

Rely On God and Fear Him

The most dangerous thing, if you are trying to succeed in the world, is to get satisfied with yourself. A person cannot grow when he gets this attitude. When we rely upon our self, we are always disappointed. No one likes a know-it-all or a conceited person. We must remain humble. What little knowledge that we do have is because of God's generosity towards us.

Fear of the Lord will take away all arrogance and pride. In the first few verses of Proverbs, we learned that the fear of the Lord is true wisdom. Fear here could be looked at again as reverence or high praise. Give God the glory for it all.

God's Promise of Deep Physical Well Being

Proverbs 3:8 "It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones."

The strength here is in the marrow, the inner parts. God is promising physical well-being for those who live wisely according to His will. Such physical well-being is what David forfeited before he confessed that he had sinned against Bath-sheba and Uriah.

Many illnesses are brought on by sins as we said before, not all illness, but some. Good clean living seems to assist in good health. For sure, good clean living brings a clear conscience and no regrets. When the spirit of man is healthy, it helps with the physical health, as well.

"And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statues, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee" (Exodus 15:26).

Honor God With Your Resources

Proverbs 3:9-10 "Honor the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:" "So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.

A biblical view of possessions demands using them for honoring God. This is accomplished by trusting God, by giving the first and best to God, by being fair, by giving generously and by expressing gratitude for all He gives. The result of such faithfulness to honor Him is prosperity and satisfaction.

Honoring Yahweh goes much further than just attending church and stating that we are a believer. Our heart is where our pocket book and time is.

"Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again" (Luke 6:38).

"Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that [there shall] not [be room] enough [to receive it]" (Malachi 3:10).

DON'T Despise the Chastening From Yahweh

Proverbs 3:11-12 "My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:" "For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son [in whom] he delighteth."

“Not despise … chastening”: Since even the wisest of God’s children are subject to sin, there is necessity of God’s fatherly discipline to increase wisdom and blessing. Such correction should not be resisted.

Chastening and Trials Must Come

"And not only [so], but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;" "And patience, experience; and experience, hope:" "And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us" (Romans 5:3-5).

Lessons in Obeying

You see, the only way a baby learns right from wrong is correction of parents. Sometimes a little paddling makes the lesson easier to remember. This is sometimes true with baby Christians, as well. When we do not obey God, He has to give us a spanking so that we will remember to obey next time. Just as an earthly parent corrects a child to help him grow in the knowledge of the truth, so does our heavenly Father.

If He cared not what becomes of us, He wouldn't bother to correct us (Read chapter 3 of Ephesians beginning with the 13th verse), it will thrill you that you have been tried. I will give one more Scripture here to show that God loves us in our tribulations and then go on.

"So that we ourselves glory in you in the churches of God for your patience and faith in all your persecutions and tribulations that ye endure:" "[Which is] a manifest token of the righteous judgment of God, that ye may be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which ye also suffer" (2 Thessalonians 1:4-5).

If God loves us, He corrects us; and we take on His worthiness.

Proverbs 3:13-14 "Happy [is] the man [that] findeth wisdom, and the man [that] getteth understanding." "For the merchandise of it [is] better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine gold."

One of the most wonderful gifts that God can give to man is "wisdom" and "understanding". Solomon was no fool when he asked God for wisdom. Wisdom will bring prosperity of body, soul, and spirit. A wise man who chooses God's ways and therefore cannot fail. If you have silver and gold, you can spend all of it and have nothing, but "wisdom cannot be taken away"; and with wisdom you can acquire silver and gold and any other thing that you might ever have need of.

Divine wisdom yields the richest treasures (described in verses 14-18 as “profits”; merchandise) “length of days,” “riches,” “honor,” “pleasantness,” “peace,” “life”, and happiness.

Proverbs 3:15 "She [is] more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her."

We will have to look back at the last lesson to see what the "she" is here. Wisdom is the she. In fact, this whole third chapter of Proverbs is all about wisdom. Material things of this world, regardless of how valuable they are, are not anything to compare with wisdom.

Proverbs 3:16 "Length of days [is] in her right hand; [and] in her left hand riches and honor."

The right hand blessing is always the best blessing. Length of days is spoken of here as being more wonderful to possess than riches and honor. If a man has no time left to spend his riches and fame, most would trade all of that to extend life a little longer. Even this blessing of extended days is still far short of the blessing of wisdom.

Proverbs 3:17 "Her ways [are] ways of pleasantness, and all her paths [are] peace."

Again here, the "her" is wisdom. Wisdom is pleasant and brings peace.

Proverbs 3:18 "She [is] a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy [is every one] that retaineth her."

This expression is a metaphor referring to temporal and spiritual renewal and refreshment (compare 11:30, 13:12, and 15:43).

No precious jewels or earthly treasures are worthy to be compared with true wisdom, whether the concerns of time or eternity be considered. We must make wisdom our business; we must venture all in it and be willing to part with all for it.

Proverbs 3:19-20 "The LORD by wisdom hath founded the earth; by understanding hath he established the heavens." "By his knowledge the depths are broken up, and the clouds drop down the dew."

The wisdom of God so far surpasses anything we might know of. God actually, through His great wisdom and knowledge, placed the stars, sun, and moon in the open sky. The earth was hung in open air, as well. Not only did God hang them in the atmosphere in perfect orbit, but He also made all of this, as well. Not only did God make all of this, but it is all subject to His will. God causes the sunshine and the rain. He controls the whole universe.

The Wisdom of God the Key to Everything

Solomon is indicating that wisdom is basic to all of life, for by it God created everything. Since God used it to create the universe, how eager must we be to use it to live in this universe?

Proverbs 3:21-22 "My son, let not them depart from thine eyes: keep sound wisdom and discretion:" "So shall they be life unto thy soul, and grace to thy neck."

True wisdom belongs to God. God will give us wisdom if we seek it prayerfully. The grace that Jesus has provided for us has to be held in high esteem, even to the saving of our soul. We must remain in that wisdom.

Proverbs 3:23 "Then shalt thou walk in thy way safely, and thy foot shall not stumble."

Proverbs 3:24 "When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet."

Proverbs 3:25-26 "Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh." "For the LORD shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken."

We see many instances in the New Testament when the demon spirits are afraid of Jesus, because they know that He is the Judge of the world and that they have a terrible fate awaiting them.

In Matthew 8:29, "And, behold, they cried out, saying, What have we to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God? art thou come hither to torment us before the time?"

You see, sudden fear gripped them, because of the terrible fate they know they have awaiting them. If you know that you are saved and safe with the Lord, you have no sudden fear. The only fear permitted to those who trust in the Lord is Godly fear. You see, trust in the Lord brings confidence, a knowing that all is well.

Proverbs 3:27 "Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do [it]."

As opportunity arises, we must help anyone and everyone that is within our power to help. It seems those full of wisdom seem to be better off financially.

Proverbs 3:28 "Say not unto thy neighbor, Go, and come again, and tomorrow I will give; when thou hast it by thee."

This is saying, do not put your neighbor off until to-morrow if you have the ability to help them today. Their need is now. We should be eager to help those less fortunate. Only God has seen fit for us to be the better off.

Proverbs 3:29 "Devise not evil against thy neighbor, seeing he dwelleth securely by thee."

One of the two most important things God wants us to do is love thy neighbor as thyself. We would not figure up evil against ourselves, so we must not against the neighbor, either.

Proverbs 3:30 "Strive not with a man without cause, if he have done thee no harm."

We should not live in strife and fussing, but should learn to live peaceably with all men. If we live for the Lord, we are promised that even our enemies will be at peace with us. This does not say that there is never a time for strife. If your enemy attacks you, you may defend yourself; but you must not start strife nor keep it going.

Proverbs 3:31 "Envy thou not the oppressor, and choose none of his ways."

We must never choose the way of the oppressor. Bullies as children are not to be looked up to.

We must not even fellowship with those who choose to oppress others. The worldly wealth that some acquire with their oppression of others should never be envied or desired. Evil and good are like oil and water. They cannot mix.

Proverbs 3:32 "For the froward [is] abomination to the LORD: but his secret [is] with the righteous."

"Froward" means perverted or wicked. The wicked will not know the secret, because they will not see; and hearing, they will not hear. They (the wicked), will not understand the things of God. The secret that the righteous know is that Jesus Christ is their Savior. God reveals Himself to those who love Him.

Proverbs 3:33 "The curse of the LORD [is] in the house of the wicked: but he blesseth the habitation of the just."

From Genesis throughout the Bible, God promises blessings to those who follow in God's commandments and curses to those who do not follow in the ways of God.

Proverbs 3:34 "Surely he scorneth the scorners: but he giveth grace unto the lowly."

Those who reject the teachings of the Lord are rejected themselves by Him.

The scribes and Pharisees are a typical example of this. They thought too highly of themselves and turned the Lord of glory down. The lowly of the world were willing to receive and were granted grace of the Lord.

Psalms 138:6, "Though the LORD be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly: but the proud he knoweth afar off."

Proverbs 3:35 The wise shall inherit glory: but shame shall be the promotion of fools."

The wise seek God. Those who seek God inherit glory. The glory of the only begotten Son is shared with those who live for God. This is a shared inheritance.

Fools, on the other hand live worldly lives for the here and now. Worldly, selfish, and shamefully.

Paul MacDonald RN MA Dipl ©

Israel Institute of Biblical Studies

[abigailabbyallen]

oh hi there.

abby here.

"me, doing what i do best: trampsing through the forest in long effluvious dresses like some sort-of Marie Antoinette-esque faux Bohemian will-o-the-wisp-ish Nietzschian Dionysian desperate hipster. but really, i’m just me, which isn’t much of anybody…not really. Guess the joke’s on me. Good one, abby…good one."

ok ‘abby,’ so what?! who am i and what do i do and why on-earth should you care?

ok, okay. honestly, you probably shouldn’t care. but, on the freakish off-chance that somebody out-there happens to feel, even just mildly intrigued, here’s a bit (ok, a bit more than a ‘bit,’) about what makes me totally amazing…

i’d call myself an amateur dabbler of-sorts in the epic pursuit of creating something, anything that feels actually meaningful, which seems increasingly difficult to achieve in this culturally divisive, label obsessed, social media skewed, generally soul shattered and straight-up surreally apathetic zeitgeist of our current national climate circa 2017-’18.

So i guess i spend most of my time trying to figure-out how to say something that’s relevant, that at-least feels important, that speaks to people in some emotionally real or soul-stirring way, that would resonate at a frequency that could be felt and so heard by a few finely tuned ears above the din of mostly angry static.

so. what does all that make me, exactly? personally, i’d say it makes me a dreamer, of sorts (quite possibly a delusional one, but still) a dilletante, an idealist, a bit of an agoraphobic hermit, and, once again: a dabbler in the arty-ish-esque pursuit of the visual, creative, and i hope one-day truly meaningful sort, mainly involving drawing, photography, and mixed-media manual mashups of the two.

i like art that shows its fingerprints; some lingering trace of the soul who created it (this “trace” would smell of pine needles, preferably. Or of a match, right-after after its been struck).

i love the way art can often bridge the gap of pleasantries and personna and politeness, to meet at a point where two souls can just sit quietly and reach an intuitive understanding. Whatever this is, this Soul Speak (so-to-speak. ha..)

“i call this creature ‘the Being of Unbearable Lightness’…a winged yet tragically flightless creature typically seen fetally perched amidst the words or glimpsed wandering deeper in the subtext between, the lines of Milan Kundera’s ‘The Unbearable Lightness of Being,” deep in the midst of an existential crisis, paralyzed by life’s seeming lack of meaning, held forever in-place by the great burden of being, and all of life’s just barely endurable beauty and hoping all fraught with subsurface knowing that it is all ever so fleeting- so we’re left half in awe half overwhelmed by the weight of these feelings of being alive and awake to our own fear and trembling, by the simple sound of our own heart’s beating, the sigh of our unspread wings impatiently heaving…. such unbearable weights both the beauty and sorrows of life can become , by such undeserved and immeasurable freedom, our brightness, our lightness our weightless capacity to rise-up in flight, it’s a light that, taken lightly- can both inspire and ignite us, but stared at directly with wide-eyed intensity, it becomes a dark sort of brightness- the kind that will bind us and blind us to the wings we have enfolded behind us, unseen afixed to our backs, and to that which has taken our sight and is holding us back; our capacity for flight kept just out of sight and beyond the brink of our wildest dreaming, and life instead becomes a picture of some living thing captured, a winged being whose chest is still heaving, whose heart is still audibly beating, emanating still a waning sort of fading light, living paralyzed inside a picture framed-in perfect still-life.”

anyway, i just think it is utterly crucial to the honesty and depth of empathy we seek to express and receive in this all-too-human exchange of hearts that beat just beneath the pristine surface in the ancient language that is the secret to all art–

something ancient, forgotten but infinitely innate hidden wisdom that’s held deep beneath the surface of mind, in the depths of every human soul, lost beneath layers of dreams upon blackness upon nightmares upon imaginings upon shadow-figures’ outlines traced in ghost-chalk, held beneath layer after layer of our heart’s bottomless, untamed and unknowable darkness.

and even-though i think We’ve mostly lost touch with-it, there is, every so often for just a little while, that unmistakably “other” sort of silence, that draws-forth our tentative visions from beneath the shadowy-netherrealms of our subconscious, and into the illuminated theatre of our mind’s interior.

Art has the capacity to capture and translate what we can only glimpse or guess-at through our mind’s eye, which is all one very long-winded way of looking at it. Mainly this was just me at my worst: being wordy and tangential in-attempts to sound extremely intelligent. My hoity-toity Stream-of-Unconscious-Gobiligook.

… my somewhat obscure/obscured Point-being: it’s all a matter of how you see things, and what you feel is the best way you can express something deeply and honestly.

And while I’ve seen so-much digitally created art that has taken my breath away ( i marvel at the artist who can look into that boundless techno-void of infinite creative possibility and bring that dream into the light of actual reality…) Because our current technology is pretty powerful stuff- pretty powerful, as in:

“ANYbody! even YOU! possess the power to become magical-God-like-omnipotent-creator-of-virtual-realities-from-pure-visionary-techno-void! All that’s required is some basic computer Know-How and the requisite digital dexterity in-order to press that ‘click’ button!”

But…speaking personally (with way fewer exclamation points) all this apparently very “basic” technology that My Generation is simply expected to have some magical, inherent understanding of,

or at least possess some innate potential for understanding,

or (at the absolute and very least) possess the intellectual hubris necessary to reassure myself that, while theoretically, i totally have all the inherent, intuitive and intellectual hutzpah necessary to develop a highly advanced & thoroughly complete understanding of ALL this technological hooey, if!

If …i felt like it,

the truth is? i DON’T.

Ergo? i DON’T.

instead, i choose to fill my head with whatever i find interesting, such as:

Legends, myths, and figures of ancient Icelandic lore,

apt metaphors and poetic similies that parallel the plight of moths,

Rhymes and imagery relating to the moon,

various metaphors, symbolism, allegories and what have you that embody the nature or capture some elemental facet of the meaning of illumination; including but not limited to such qualities as related to emanation, refraction, reflection, invocation, obfuscation, sfumato, chiaroscuro, projection, bioluminescence, phosphorescence, foxfire, prismatic bifurcation and so-on and so-forth,

other light-related Questions such-as, implications of what it really means to be the kind of thing known to have a particular propensity and/or the inclination to “shine,” …versus the very different sort of thing known for being inherently bestowed with that coveted capacity to emanate from within, i.e. To “glow.”

(This is all important stuff, people)

i also think a lot about eyeshine, a.k.a. “tapestra lucidem,” (i highly doubt that my spelling there is correct, just bytheby) but which essentially translates to mean “illuminated tapestry.” ...which is obviously pretty intriguing because the two things (eyeshine and illuminated tapestries) don't immediately strike-me as being in anyway related let-alone synonymous, so by its very definition alone this idea of eyeshine is weird, in that mysterious, spooky-beautiful & phantasmagorically delicious kinda way...