#EscapeInInk

[somnolentserenade]

Delusional Dreamer

I rarely put pen to paper, but when I do, it's like creating a whole new world. Even in my private diary, I can't shake the feeling that someone might stumble upon my thoughts. It's like I'm playing a role rather than being real.

Lately, I've been a bit of a mess—crying like a baby to Mitski tunes, lost in fantasies that reality won't ever match. I used to daydream a lot, but then it hit me—I've become a bit too delusional. I sleep a crazy amount, around 12-13 hours, just to lay in bed, letting my mind wander into an alternate universe.

In this dreamland, I'm not just me. I'm this ideal version, a girl with all the stuff I've always wanted—looks, body, voice, personality. My alter ego is this outgoing goofball, making people laugh, winning hearts with a smile and some eye action. She's carefree, no responsibilities, no money stress. She plans her own adventures, travels the world, and even has a boyfriend who's head over heels.

I spend so much time in this dream that reality feels like a drag. I find comfort in imagining a life where I'm not alone, where friends are there for me, where I don't feel lonely in a crowd. My dream friends are the same as my real friends, but everything just clicks better in this alternate reality.

There are some similarities, sure. We've both lost our moms early on, been burned by first loves, and are stubborn with loving dads. But in my dream, these things don't weigh me down. Instead, I get to enjoy the fantasy of a carefree existence, even if just for a little while.