#Everything and everyone is a piece in a game. Bonds and friendships are assets. People are dispensable.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The musical episode.

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[south-park-meta]

why do you think cartman is abusing stan? they get along ok

I think Cartman's abusive towards everyone with Kyle and Butters getting the worst of it. But I have come around more to the way Cartman's abusive to Stan than when I made my initial analysis of their relationship. I said there that Cartman attacked things that mostly Stan's not bothered by, and some of that's true. Like, attacking him for caring about animals isn't something that affects him very often.

But with that said, there IS a core of attacking Stan for (lacking) masculinity and that actually does seem to be something he's anxious about...just not to Cartman directly. Cartman regularly calls him a pussy, gay, weak, seeming like a girl. The Cissy is probably the best example of the name-calling because it encompasses basically all of it

Do you know your girlfriend's going around tellin' everyone that you're gay?! [Stan looks around] Oh yeah! She's got the whole school believin' that she's attracted to girls, but she's dating you! So what does that make you, Stan?! A girl! STAN-AN'S A GIR-RL! You'd better curb your dog, Stan! You'd better curb your dog before people start ripping on you!

He tells Stan he's too weak to control his girlfriend, that he's gay, and that he's a girl all at once. Stan actually has a reaction (looking around, looking nervous, and he does end up talking to his dad and Principal Victoria. Cartman GOT a reaction, just not one he wanted).

The thing is, Stan's masculinity IS the thing he's most defensive of, and is his 'weak point' in relation to Kyle being Jewish, Kenny being poor, Butters being naive. He gets nervous about seeming gay and has to overcome it. He does get ripped on/ name-called/dismissed for not being manly enough or seeming gay by both his uncle, who he looks up to, and his dad, who he does (for most of the show) have a mutually loving relationship with. MOST of the 'Stan has a moment of character growth in the way of accepting who he is' comes down to him being okay with shirking stereotypical masculinity. Cartman is a master at honing in on weaknesses and he ABSOLUTELY has Stan's down.

So, then, why doesn't Cartman really tear the shit out of him more?

The thing is that Stan doesn't rise to the bait in angry outbursts. Kyle does. Kenny does, sometimes, too. Butters is specifically dismissed as a Kyle punching bag replacement because he doesn't. But Cartman also can't just casually abuse him constantly the way he does Butters, or put Stan's dick in his mouth while he sleeps, or give him a poop moustache, because Stan would up and leave the friendship, or actually physically beat him up. It has to be a verbal or emotional, non-physical attack. Stan doesn't get ripped on by Cartman more because he doesn't tend to take the bait in a way that would be fun and would let Cartman continue to feed off of it and really tear him to pieces.

So why doesn't Stan take the bait? Is he not upset by it?

The thing is he DOES get upset about this kind of thing. He just tends not to confront it directly. Instead he tends to want to compensate for the accusations. He tries to force Sparky to be straight. He doesn't play along at the wild west show because Wendy's there. He shoots and kills Skuzzlebutt. He becomes hypercritical of Gary and chews him out for Mormonism. And in each and every one of these cases, the best choice is consistently for him not to worry about seeming like anything except what he is. I think The Cissy is a step forward for him in, instead of outright denying who he is, he just sits down and questions it instead. Personally I think there hasn't been another comment on it since he came to the conclusion he is a boy (I know there're nb headcanons for him and I won't pick at it too much because I don't think it runs contrary to his character per se, I just don't agree with it. I see it as more of another masculinity introspection than really specifically a gender one), but I think it's a step forward for his character growth. He has multiple times gone through an arc of 'hide who you are, then realize who you are is really an asset', and sometimes that gets to a point of 'fuck what people think' but often it just kind of is what it is and he doesn't really do anything with it. He still cares about not being manly enough, and often the lesson of it is 'yeah you ARE kind of a pussy but it's fine, people will like you anyway, or being a pussy is beneficial to helping people'. While the recent seasons have made Stan more depressed and miserable, he's also FINALLY starting to get to a point of-- instead of worrying what makes other people like him, what makes him an asset to other people-- 'What makes me like myself? What makes me who I am?'

ANYWAY with all that said, the reason Cartman doesn't get much out of moments like this is that Stan often doesn't have a reaction, period. Sometimes it's because he probably literally doesn't care. He doesn't always value Cartman's opinion, and he does seem able to let a lot of comments go as just being bullshit. The other thing is that if it actually gets to the point of GETTING a reaction, it's not one that would be fun for Cartman. Literally the only thing that's ever come out of Stan reacting to the insecurity that Cartman harps on (whether because of Cartman or not) is that he either suppresses or questions it, and decides he likes himself more as he was to start with. Like he very consistently has improved himself through being criticized on this very point.

So does he have a point that Cartman can hurt him on?

Absolutely, and that point is Kyle.

Stan consistently has stronger, more hurt, more violent reactions to Cartman when it's Kyle that Cartman's going after. When Cartman makes a comment that Kyle's going to die, Stan tells him not to say things like that (even though people regularly die or talk about death around them). When Cartman's treating Kyle unfairly and Kyle can't do anything about it himself, Stan rights it. Even when Stan and Kyle aren't getting along, multiple seasons after Stan told Kyle that he was destroying the last thread of friendship they had left by siding with Cartman in the GOT arc, he still takes tit-for-tat revenge on Cartman in Band in China for Kyle's sake.

The way to get Kyle to respond in a fun way is for Cartman to attack Kyle.

The way to get Stan to respond in a fun way is for Cartman to attack Kyle.

I think it's noteworthy that when Cartman checks out on the 'broship' it's after Stan has checked out on Kyle, and pointedly stayed out of Kyle's fight with Cartman even after Kyle asked him to get involved with it. It's not worth keeping Stan tied in to the group because he's not coming to Kyle's defense, so there's no fun to be had in Stan hanging around. It's ALSO noteworthy that Kyle is equally blindsided by both of them.

But, okay, Cartman is nice to Stan sometimes. He's probably nicer to him than he is pretty much any other character. I think Cartman was playing a balancing act and lost.

He wants Stan and Kyle to be friends, because their friendship is important to get them both riled up. But he wants himself to be the most important to both of them, and that means he HAS to knock them down a peg in each other's opinions. They need to be friends with each other, good enough friends that Stan wants to defend Kyle when Cartman's mean to him and Kyle can't defend himself. It's no fun if Kyle's literally defenseless and Cartman gets jack for a reaction. But they have to be best friends with Cartman, because Cartman has a massive ego. This is a pretty damn hard line to walk.

But here are some nice things that Cartman's done for Stan:

-He came and hung out with him on Tegridy, and had solo activities bonding with him through board games and things like that.

-He helped Stan with the drug ring in Hummels and Heroin

-He saved the pangolin

The first two things are a clear spit in Kyle's face. Kyle is the core group who seems most disconnected from what's going on on Tegridy. Cartman is very clearly trying to take Kyle's place as Stan's go-to. Around(ish, keeping in mind the show's internal timeline) the same time, through the GOT arc, he is focusing his attention on bonding with Kyle.

Likewise, Kyle tells Stan outright he's not going to help with the Hummels problem in the second case. Cartman gets involved because Stan says he 'needs' him. He's willing to help because it puts him in direct competition with Kyle; he's helping Stan when Kyle told him to figure it out himself. He is weasling in on the best friend role.

In the last case, I think it's because he still wanted the 'broship' to work, and like I said I think he did up until Stan gave up on his friendship with Kyle. Stan's having a complete mental breakdown, which would cause issues and not be enjoyable on Cartman's end, so he'll give him a bone and let him maintain his sanity so Cartman can keep having fun pitting Stan and Kyle against each other while being besties with them both. He just flew too close to the sun and lost with it because Stan was teetering on the edge for the friendship since YGO and the next episode pushed him over.

In conclusion, Cartman's actions with Stan are 100% meant to manipulate him and emotionally destroy him. It just happens that Stan takes attacks on himself pretty internally and might even come out stronger for it. So for the most part if everything else is going fine, he's a tough nut to crack. The stuff that really fucks him up and tears him apart mentally is attacking Kyle, or attacking his friendship with Kyle.

[musaeon]

@hemlockd asked: ✘ "akira... i'm asking you to be frank with me. we might have made a deal, but you're still fighting with a traitor in your ranks. you keep... being curt, in the palace. making rash decisions, zoning out. it's... it's not like you. you're going to get yourself killed, and i think i know why. forget your petty sentimentality and be honest with yourself for once. when you look at me... what do you see? are you really comfortable fighting alongside me, or am i more distraction than asset?" (my muse has to tell nothing but the truth | accepting - 2/10)

     “That’s...” Akira bites his lip, eyes darting off to the side. He know how reckless he’s been with fighting, and it’s been like that since the beginning of this year, this repeated year. Ever since he awoke to his power again, he’s been less on edge, knowing what’s expected in the palaces, not having to worry so much about getting through everything, even if the palaces had some changes from the other year he’s lived through. For once it feels like he can step back and relax just a little bit when it comes to exploring in the Metaverse.

     Yet now...his reckless habits are coming back to bite him in the ass, hard. Maruki’s palace is nothing like he’s dealt with before, and he should be taking this seriously, be more cautious and all that jazz. But he can’t and he’s not sure if it’s because old habits die hard or if it’s because it’s all new to him so he doesn’t have anything he can fall back on like with all the other palaces. Added to the fact is if they can’t do this they won’t be able to return to their reality, and that Maruki is like none of their previous targets...it’s a lot to deal with, even putting aside Akira’s whole ‘I’ve lived through this year once before so I know what’s coming and how to deal with it’ thing that he hasn’t told anyone (save for Morgana in bits and pieces).

     So he’s not really surprised about Akechi calling him out on how he’s been fighting. What is a surprise however, is what he asks him. What does he see when he looks at Akechi? What does he truly, honestly feel towards the detective, the traitor, the one that was supposed to bring destruction in the rigged game they were thrown into, the one person that he wanted to and still wants to save?

     “It’s...It’s not you okay? You’re not a distraction at all. Everything’s just been...a lot since the start of the new year.” And it’s not that’s far from the truth. Akira doesn’t know anything about this, doesn’t have memories of it that he can fall back on, and that fact is terrifying to him. He’s been thrown off his game since the start of the new year, being thrown into this reality that Maruki had decided they all wanted, finding out the truth about Kasumi, no, Sumire...it’s been a lot to deal with.

     “I just,” he sighs “didn’t expect for this to be happening. You know when you showed up on Christmas Eve and told Sae-san you would turn yourself in? I was going to do that if you didn’t show up, heck I was ready to do it before you did. So I,” I was ready to have to wait nearly two months for my friends and allies to bail me out again. I was ready to accept turning myself in again so that way that man would stand trial like he deserves to  I was ready for anything but this to happen to us. “was ready for something else to happen instead of this. And before you even say anything I’m not mad about you turning yourself in okay? It was a shock for sure, but it was your own choice and I can respect that.” Really he can, even if he doesn’t really agree with it. Just like back in the engine room, even if he hates it, wanted to something to change it, have it end in a different way-

     ...He’s getting distracted now isn’t he?

     “And fighting alongside you...honestly I’m more comfortable fighting alongside you more than anyone else.” He’s looking straight at Akechi now, eyes shinning with something akin to honesty. Even if fighting alongside his other friends is something he’s more used to, and he trusts them of course there’s just...something that feels right about fighting alongside him. They understand each other, better than he understands his friends in someways, and the fact that both of them knew this reality wasn’t right from the get-go just adds to that. Akira trusts him, perhaps more than he should, but maybe it’s because he knows so much about him that he can trust him.

     “If you think I’m lying to you I’m not. Ever since we’ve met I’ve been as honest as ever with you. I...enjoy spending time with you, you know that right? All those times we’ve  hung out...you enjoyed it too right?” He knows that Akechi’s said before how he enjoys their time together, and Akira shares the same sentiment. The time he’s spent with him...it’s been so different from the other bonds he’s had. They weren’t two people who’s bond was no more than a deal, a mutual agreement that was to the benefit only one of them in the end, with Akira stepping in to help the other with whatever problems they were having and once it was done they could go their separate ways. His bond with Akechi...wasn’t like that. It wasn’t built on the premise of a deal, the older boy just found him interesting and Akira found that to be the same in return. It was...like they were both getting something out of it, it wasn’t just an artificial deal it was...something genuine. Like an actual friendship.

     “You wanted me to be honest with myself right? Well...this is that. You aren’t the problem, and you never have been. I like having you around with us, fighting alongside us, hell I’m pretty sure I trust you more than everyone else if you want me to be brutally honest.” Maybe it’s just because he’s lived through this year once before, and that he knows so much about the other, but he doesn’t care. Akira knows what his feelings towards the other boy are, and he’s not ashamed of them. “But, more than that...” He leans in, enough to press their foreheads together, looking straight at him, his expression soft and a small smile on his face.

     “When I look at you...I see someone I care about so much. I’d trust you with anything, and I’d do everything to see you happy and smiling. You’re so, so important to me, more than you can even imagine. But I think most of all...” A pause, before he speaks again, his voice soft but filled with emotion and sincerity.

     “When I look at you, I see the person that I love.”

[miximax-hell]

I always tell my friends that they’re capable of anything they put their mind into. But, personally, I should know my limits and act accordingly. And considering how INCREDIBLY long it took me to finish this piece for such a poor result (despite the fact that I was just trying to replicate official art, so I had all the help in the world), well, I would say this was my limit. But, hey, you’ll never know until you try, and all practice is good practice.

That aside, hello! For today’s post, I decided to revisit the concept I started this blog with and work on a bigger illustration. It’s probably my least popular kind of post, but trying to mimic KH’s artstyle is kind of a blast regardless of the result or the struggle.

With Max’s and Kageno’s out of the way, it was about time I worked on Handa’s, since, you know, he’s my favourite character and all. I can be biased here, right?

So, it might be a good time to talk about HanRoku’s reasons to be.

Well, well, well. This is coming at the beginning of April when my last post was on January, and even that was just to celebrate the fact that, somehow, over a hundred people have decided to follow this blog. I’m not even going to pretend I’m way too busy to work on stuff--it’s just been a fantastic combination of things that made me want to... stop. I hit a big wall where the ideas I had were being a tad too difficult to pull off in a satisfying way (I swear to God, Kidou, your hair is impossible to work with), and I was either not in the mood to do anything or more focused on other and, at the time, more fun endeavours. I was super passionate about my graduation thesis, for example--and that went rather well, thankfully.

But, boy, I loved Kingdom Hearts 3. No bad mood or task was going to keep me from sinking hours into that game somewhat regularly. Playing it filled me with immense joy, and seeing Roxas again after so long brought me to tears. It made me think a lot about finally finishing (or trying to finish) this big piece... and it caught me very rusty, which led to hours, hours, hours, HOURS of work for what I have already described as a disappointing result. I mean, it’s not the worst I have ever drawn, but... well. It could definitely be much better, and I’m rather tempted to rework it in the future. I hadn’t touched my tablet in ages and it shows. Nor my pencils. Just my brushes, but that was just to paint doggos and Life Is Strange-inspired landscapes.

And the best part is that the illustration ISN’T EVEN COMPLETE because the rest would actually be a spoiler for a fic of mine called Zero. If you check the official art I linked above, you’ll see that what my illustration shows as a black area is actually filled by a completely separate illustration. I know what I want there, but, as I said, it’d spoil the story, so, yeah. Talk about a work in progress. I hope I can finish it all one day...

Anyway, enough pointless ranting! Thanks for putting up with me. To reward someone who has made it this far without getting tired of me, I’m giving away a Steam copy of Batman: Arkham Origins, along with all of its DLC. If you want it, please shoot me a non-anonymous message~ There is absolutely no need to follow me nor reblog/like this post, although it’d obviously be greatly appreciated. The first to ask for it will get it. And, please, don’t follow me for future giveaways--I doubt there will be any. Now, let’s talk about HanRoku. That’s what you clicked on that "read more" button for.

The beginnings of HanRoku are ancient at this point. We’re talking 2012 or 2013, and that’s INSANE. For how long have I been struggling with this project?! Goodness gracious. Anyway, at the time, Chrono Stone was hitting all of the right notes for me. Time travel? Check. People that transform to become more powerful? Check. Fusions, because I've watched too much DBZ for me to not love that? Check. And one day, for reasons that have been lost to time, but probably have a lot to do with the aforementioned fic, I realised something. Zero was supposed to be a story about how Roxas mingles with Someoka, Handa, Aki and mostly Endou, but then it hit me: Roxas and Handa are actually... extremely similar.

To those who have never played Kingdom Hearts, PLEASE GO PLAY KINGDOM HEARTS. And to those who couldn’t care less about what I recommend them to do, KH is a story that, under a deceiving cover full of Disney characters and confusing plot points, makes a deep and rather interesting point about what the true nature of the soul is--even if they insist on calling it “heart” instead. What is a soul? What is it for? Who, or what, has a soul--and why? Is the soul linked to the mind or to the body? Is it even possible to have a body and not have a soul? Is the soul something you’re born with or something you can/must acquire over time? What makes it grow, and what is true strength of soul? You know, for a game where you hit cute Hot Topic monsters with an oversized key, that’s pretty darn cool.

I talked more about this way back when, but I’ll give you a brief summary of the main reason why Handa and Roxas are such a perfect match: they are both people looking for their place in a world that actively acts against their very existence. They have no purpose and are simply tools for other people to shine and/or achieve their goals. That is obviously not a good, fulfilling life.

But, well, after all these years of ruminating and thinking (and crying) about HanRoku, there has to be a bit more to it than just that, right?

Obviously (and even more obviously after Kingdom Hearts 3), Roxas is very strong. Very strong. What he lacks in existence, he makes up for in raw power. For someone like Handa, who is so overlooked due to being okay at everything but not great at anything, this is massive. Even if Roxas doesn’t make him stellar at everything, he doesn’t need to. He still gives Handa enough power to become an extremely invaluable asset in the field and a force to be reckoned with--especially early on, since Handa is the first original Raimon player to get a miximax and all. I’ll talk more about HanRoku’s powers in the future.

But the usefulness in the field is only the first part, and even that is debatable due to the post I linked to earlier and the fact that, well, he sure will be special and super strong when no one else can mixitrans, but he won’t be once the whole team can do so. I mean, let’s count: Endou, Gouenji, Someoka, Max, Kageno, Megane, Tamano... That’s 7 people, when there are only 11 players on the field at a time. Handa would only be at an advantage over 3 people. (And if you’re going to tell me that he’s still the only midfielder with a miximax, thus making him special on his own, that’s a perfectly valid point and you should congratulate yourself for having such a keen eye.)

What really shines about HanRoku, though, is how mutually symbiotic their relationship is. Even if their struggles are so similar at heart, the reasons why those struggles exist are not.

Handa’s problems come from not being good enough at anything to be really... indispensable. Sure, he can do pretty much any job at any given point and be adequate enough at it, but he’s never the first option. He has no place of his own in the team; not one thing only he is capable of doing. And that leads to all kinds of problems of self-worth and trying to find a purpose. He will leave Raimon and no one will remember he was even there.

Roxas is completely essential to Organization XIII, but he’s been reduced to a killing machine that they are trying to replace with a better and more obedient one, thus taking away from him the only reason to be he ever knew and making him question his very existence. Once Org XIII disposes of him, no one will miss him--and that’s made even worse by a certain plot point: Nobodies disappear from the memory of everyone who ever met them once they are defeated/killed.

Of course, Roxas would help Handa immensely, as stated earlier. That’s kind of the point of this whole ordeal. But here’s the catch: Handa would help Roxas too. By leaving a part of himself inside Handa (that sounds extremely wrong, but please bear with me), he knows he will never be truly forgotten no matter what happens to him, and his life will ultimately have a purpose: to help a friend in need find his own worth. But let’s not forget that Roxas has only been alive for less than a year, while Handa has been struggling with his demons for over a decade without ever giving up. Despite having the world against him (or, at the very least, definitely not on his side), Handa is still going at it, trying his best, fighting for what he believes in, dealing courageously with the fact that he’s just an ordinary boy in a world of amazing people in order to help them achieve their ultimate goals. At a time when Roxas felt like his existence was worthless, meeting Handa, a boy who challenges his own self to find an identity that may not even exist, is truly inspiring. His selflessness, his love towards his friends and his neverending efforts to be better give Roxas a reason to stand up to the norm and fight for what he believes is right: in this case, to save his few and treasured friends.

Handa and Roxas find in each other a mirror that, for the first time in their lives, shows them in a new light that gives them hope for the future. They learn from each other, complement each other, improve each other, inspire each other, share a deep bond of friendship and trust, feel stronger and braver when they are together, and make a fantastic team. A team of throwaways, a team of tools, a team made of convenient replacements that will one day become obsolete. But a team that, however, is much greater than the sum of its overlooked parts, and will achieve incredible things when they eventually figure out just how unique and special they both are.

Talking about HanRoku makes me very emotional and it’s difficult to convey my feelings about them when I’m choking on my own tears, but I hope you can all understand why I love these two so very much. And if you can’t... well, feel free to ask me any questions you may have! I’d love to find new ways to describe why these two are so precious to me.

[vagrantblvrd]

For the prompt post: I wish you would write a fic where... Something more Geoff-centric! I feel like he gets set in the background of so many fics when his FAHC character has the potential to be so interesting. I would love a more shippy fahc fic with him and Gavin, (angst/suspense is always good) but Tbh my little Geoff-loving heart would be content with anything from you. Especially with how much i fucking live for your AO3 stories. I have read them all. Some several times lol.

I adore Geoff and agree with you 1000% friend! (Also, thank you so much!

Geoff hears about these kids, right? Some British bastard with sticky fingers and a clever tongue and his guard dog. This Jersey bastard with a hell of a temper on him and how the hell they even work is a miracle because by all accounts this Jones kid hates the British kid with a passion. Cannot fucking stand him and at first Geoff thinks this Free kid must have something on him, something important because that’s how these things work.

As time goes by he keeps hearing about these kids. The way Free can talk himself out of anything – and has, got pinched by the cops and sweet-talked his way out of that one. Got into trouble with some of the smaller crews – and came out of it with new allies or by the end of things Los Santos would short one miserable little crew.

The more he hears about them, the more he wants them working for him. So he sets up meets with them, gets Lindsay and Trevor on it and Gavin and Michael say no and no and no over and over again.

Geoff thinks it’s them being young and stupid for the longest time until he realizes one day listening to Trevor tell him about something Gavin and Michael did that they’re terrified of being part of a crew.

He knows they came to Los Santos from the east coast so he reaches out to Burnie, asks if he ca find anything out about them. And boy does Burnie deliver, because it turns out that Gavin and Michael used to be a crew, worked for this piece of shit who thought he was meant for greatness.

Ran his crew on fear, and no one knows where he picked Gavin up, but the guy saw what an asset he had in him. Smart and clever and as long as Gavin was useful he got to live. And then came Michael with the same rule – be useful or die – and somehow they became friends.

Besties, even, which worked out for their boss because it meant Gavin had someone watching his back on job who was less likely to kill him themselves.

But then something went wrong, or right, depending on how you look at it because Gavin and Michael wanted out. Wanted to get away from that piece of shit and his crew and everything to do with him, and they were ruthless about it.

Set things up so the piece of shit and his crew were destroyed, ripped apart by greedy rivals while Gavin and Michael got the hell out of the city. Ran until they hit Los Santos and set up shop and Burnie warns him to leave them alone, that the risk isn’t worth it, and Geoff laughs, thinking it’s a joke because the Fake AH Crew can handle a couple of kids – and Burnie just sighs because of course Geoff isn’t going to listen.

Eventually though, Gavin realizes Geoff’s just going to keep coming after them and maybe one day he’ll stop being nice about it, so.

A meeting, where Geoff makes them an offer. Work with the Fakes on a job, get to know them and if they like what they see maybe stick around?

Gavin and Michael agree to that much, make no promises because they’re understandably leery of being trapped again when it cost them so much to get free the last time.

But they end up sticking around after that first job because they like the crew and it’s mutual. Michael and Jeremy get along like a house on fire (sometimes this is literal because there are houses on fire and those two asshole responsible for it).

Gavin seems to be getting along with everyone, and Geoff won’t lie, it’s a little terrifying that he and Ryan are suddenly BFFs, going down to the shooting range to bond over throwing knives (WHY), but it’s obvious they don’t quite trust the crew.

Which.

Geoff has faith they just need to give it time, let Gavin and Michael see for themselves what the Fakes are like and let them decide what they want.

Until then, he figures it won’t hurt to teach Gavin a few things here and there and takes him along for crew business. (Might gain some little bit of Gavin’s trust in the process.)

Let him get a feel for how the Fakes work and how they deal with allies and enemies and all that. (Because Geoff likes Gavin, and he knows right off that Gavin’s top priority is Michael and vice versa, this unlikely friendship that somehow came into being in the worst circumstances.)

They talk, a lot. At first it’s business, how to get what they want in negotiations without giving more than they can afford. They plan jobs, a heist or two and Gavin is brilliant.

Unconventional, sure, but brilliant.

Time goes by and personal details get mixed in with business talk. They spend long hours together with their planning sessions so they order out. Sit around eating take out and mention some small bit of information about themselves, favorite movies. Shows. Video games, and so on.

Sometimes they don’t talk business at all, because Geoff can’t believe Gavin hasn’t seen this movie, and Gavin can’t believe Geoff hasn’t seen that show. It’s been years since either of them played this game, so clearly they have to play it to see if it holds up. (It does, so naturally they end up playing for hours and hours.)

Both of them aware there’s something there, but skittish about putting a name to it, so they just keep muddling along while the others are like really.

Then one day Geoff brings Gavin with him to a meeting with a crew. Long time rivals and an actual threat to the Fakes. So they’re planning on taking things nice and slow and careful – but things go wrong anyway.

Gavin picks up on it first, standing to the right of Geoff’s shoulder in place of Ryan or Jeremy or even Michael

He doesn’t have the intimidation factor the other three do and he’s mostly been ignored during the meeting, which is in his favor something tips him off that something is very wrong.

He’s moving before Geoff realizes what’s going on, and suddenly there’s a knife in some fucker’s throat, gun falling from his hand The goon who makes a gab for Geoff gets a knife in his hand and Geoff’s on his feet with his own gun out and it’s shoots the guy trying to blindside Gavin. Grabs Gavin by the arm and gets them both out of there. 

Finds the side door that leads to the alley with baddies chasing them, dodging bullets and their ride screeches in.

Geoff feels a shove and sees Gavin stumble from the corner of his eye, body hitting the car heavily before Geoff twists around and grabs a handful of his shirt and hauls him in. Gavin falls into the car, across Geoff and Geoff’s yelling at Jack to gogogo.

Jack demands to know what went wrong. Geoff’s telling him, and breaks off  mid-word when he realizes the hand he’d dropped over Gavin on reflex when they tumbled into the backseat is wet.

Twists around sharply to see his hand covered in blood from a gunshot wound. Gavin gritting his teeth and trying to pull free from Geoff to shoot at the the fuckers following them, hissing sharply because the motion tears at his wound, blood coming faster and Geoff -

“Stay the fuck down, you idiot!” Geoff yells, ripping his jacket off intending to use it to stem the bleeding, what the hell, Gavin.

Gavin jerks, turns to him, gun in hand and Geoff feels a chill go through him because he’s seen this before – not in Gavin, no. With Ryan, with Jeremy, when they’re in a tight spot. When one of them is hut and the odds are against them and it looks like this is where the Fakes end, where Geoff’s empire starts to crumble.

“Gavin - “

Gavin’s face twists, a strained, “Geoff” because this is what he and Michael are for, right? The reason Geoff even wanted them with the crew in the first place.

He says something along those lines, spits it out like it’s the simplest of truths and Geoff reels back in shock, just enough for Gavin to go back to picking off the assholes chasing them. Fend them off for the others to get there to take the last of their pursuers out and Gavin slumps down hand, accepts Geoff’s jacket and presses down to stop the bleeding, something spooked about him.

No.

Not spooked, really, just.

Wary, like he’s not sure what Geoff’s going to do now, and Geoff could cheerfully murder the fuck out of whoever did this to him, to Michael, if they hadn’t beaten him to it because they’re his now. Were from the moment they set foot in the penthouse, since he and the others got to know them.

Geoff wants to talk to him about it, to Michael, because both of them are on edge after this, can’t seem to settle. (Gavin goes quiet and watchful, and Michael is never far from him, falling back into old habits.) Geoff wants to talk to them, but he doesn’t get the chance because he’s working with Lindsay and Trevor to deal with the rival crew who starts going after their people.

Geoff knows Gavin’s recuperating and Michael’s keeping an eye on him and doesn’t know how bad things are at first.

When things finally calm down he goes looking for Gavin when it occurs to they haven’t talked about what happened back at that meeting. Feels guilty about it, but he was focused on keeping them all safe and he remembers that wild-eyed look on Gavin’s face in the car. Thinking he and Michael were just tools to be used.

“Fuck,” Geoff mutters, because he fucked up right there, didn’t he.

Fucked up with Gavin and Michael and he goes looking for Gavin. Remembers Jack mentioning that he’s been down in the shooting range a lot, and he goes there first.

When he gets there he finds Gavin and Ryan throwing knives at paper targets. 

There’s a desperation in the way Gavin’s throwing the knives, something Geoff recognizes from the others, himself, after fucking up and vowing to do better next time and it breaks his damn heart because Gavin did everything right back there, and Geoff’s let him down.

Watching them, Geoff’s grateful for his crew because Gavin actually laughs at something Ryan says. Tired little smile on his face that drops away when he notices Geoff.

Something guilty, angry in Geoff at the way Gavin locks everything away. Stands up straighter, like he’s waiting for something from him. (Bad, something bad, and the urge to kill whoever did this to him and Michael is back again.)

Ryan says something to Gavin and then he leaves and Geoff hates the way Gavin’s watching him.

“Shit goes wrong,” Geoff says, hands in pockets, staring down at his the toes of his shoes. “It’s a fact of life No matter how prepared you are, shit always goes wrong in ways you can’t anticipate. The important thing is to be able to adapt, to handle that whatever happens, and you did, Gavvers, holy fuck did you ever.”

Geoff knows if it hadn’t been for Gavin he’s be dead now. Bullet in his head and a rotting, stinking corpse on the floor of that warehouse for the rats and strays to feast on and he’s clearly been around Ryan for too damn long to think that, but.

“It’s not your fuckup, Gavin,” Geoff says, too damn tired, sad, “And if it was, you wouldn’t be punished for it.”

Geoff makes a face when Gavin gives him a look, and okay, alright.

“Fine, you wouldn’t be disproportionately punished for it, all right?”

Because right, okay, he’d made Andy do the bitch work for a month after he messed up, but nothing like what Gavin and Michael seems to be expecting. Nothing mean, meant to hurt them, humiliate them, treat them than less than human.

It eats at him, that these dumb kids don’t get that they’re safe here after all this time. Like he hasn’t done enough to show them that, and it makes him angry - at himself, the bastard who did this to them.

“What we have here is good,” Gavin says, after a long, long moment. Halting and uncertain, accompanied by a ghost of a laugh, disbelieving. “I never thought I’d see Michael this relaxed.”

Geoff looks at him, skeptical because really?”

And Gavin laughs for real this time, hint of a smile curling his lips.

“It’s true, though, you don’t know what he was like before, with our other crew.”

Geoff looks at Gavin, still strung tight with nerves and it hits him suddenly, that Gavin’s done things like this before. Talked about Michael’s safety, happiness, and on and on and never mentioned his own feelings on anything. Always looking out for Michael the way Michael is always looking out for him and never mind anything else.

“And you?”

Gavin stiffens, eyes sliding away from Geoff, fake smile slipping into place.

“Oh, you know me, Geoff, always good, aren’t I?”

Well that’s a goddamned lie if Geoff’s ever heard one.

Geoff stifles a sigh, reaching for one of the throwing knives Gavin and Ryan were tossing around. (Remembers the way Gavin had killed that first guy in the warehouse, and thinks it wouldn’t be a bad skill to learn himself.)

“Yeah,” he says, hefting the knife in his hand, trying to copy Ryan and Gavin’s hold on the thing before he throws it.

Watches it flash through the air before clattering against the target and onto the ground, solid failure on his part. (Nothing new there, really.)

Gavin snorts, just watches as Geoff huffs and tries again with the next knife in line, and biffs that one too. Three more tries until Gavin reaches over to adjust Geoff’s grip, amused grin on his lips, some of the tension running through him gone.

“You’re snapping your wrist when you throw it,” he says, stepping back. “Use the knife’s momentum when you bring your arm forward.”

Geoff gives him a look, not sure if being handy with throwing knives was something Gavin learned how to do before meeting Ryan or after and a little afraid to know the answer.

He follows Gavin’s instructions with the last knife laid out, and while he doesn’t land the throw, there’s definite improvement because the point of the knife bounces against the target instead of the handle.

“Still shit,” Gavin says, and oh, that’s smug amusement, “but definitely better that time.”

Geoff eyes him, and Gavin’s grin only gets bigger.

“Try it again,” Gavin says, puling a knife out of nowhere to hand to him.

Christ, Geoff thinks, as Gavin coaches him on how to throw knives, glad that the idiot looks like he might actually believe it when Geoff says he doesn’t blame him for what happened at the warehouse. What a way to bond with someone.

[thezodiaczone]

July Forecast for Capricorn

Relationships are your focal point this month, Capricorn. The Sun is making its annual sojourn through Cancer and your partnership house until July 22, then it dives into Leo and your intimate eighth house, deepening your bonds even more. Correct any imbalances if things don’t feel fair or harmonious. Carve out dedicated and undistracted time for your most important ties, the people who are often put on hold as you fulfill your duty to work and the many others who count on you, Cap. For once, let them have the best of your attention instead of the leftovers.

With two of this summer’s three game-changing eclipses punctuating the month, there could be some big surprises in store. Eclipses sweep in four to six times a year and shake up the status quo, removing anything outmoded and flinging open the doors for a fresh start.

The first, a partial solar (new moon) eclipse, lands in Cancer on July 12, activating your seventh house of committed relationships. Solar eclipses mark bold beginnings and can set us on a whole new (and unexpected) path. An exciting and unplanned move could happen: an engagement, a meeting with a dynamic new person with long-term potential, a business offer that exceeds all expectations. That might not fully unfold just yet because this is the inaugural eclipse in a series that will fall on the Cancer/Capricorn axis between now and July 2020. Over the next two years, these eclipses will overhaul your identity, personal path and approach to partnership. If you’re stuck in the areas of relationships or self-development, prepare for the needle to finally move! The goal of these eclipses? To help you forge dynamic duos without losing yourself.

This is the only eclipse from this group in 2018, a preview of changes that will really take flight in 2019. Still, it will be an intense start! On July 12, the Sun and new moon are exactly opposite intensifying Pluto in Capricorn and your first house of self. As exciting as a new chapter involving partnerships may be, you could still feel an undercurrent of resistance, a fear of being totally consumed by this pairing and losing control or sovereignty. Likely this is rooted in some deep childhood wounds, as Pluto rules the unconscious. Therapy, hypnosis, even past-life regression work could help you overcome this newly identified block.

No matter what shifts come to your relationships, community is calling! On July 10, expansive Jupiter ends a four-month retrograde in your eleventh house of teamwork and technology. A budding collaboration or an online venture could pick up speed. Lucky Jupiter is here from October 10, 2017, until November 8, 2018, bringing new friendships and associations that expand your influence. With the red-spotted planet in reverse since March 8, that energy has diminished a bit. Now you have four powerful months to get a cutting-edge project or group undertaking launched into new heights. With global Jupiter at the helm, like-minded members of Team Capricorn could emerge from far-flung corners. You could connect with a fresh crew through social media or travel. Stay open to new faces and places!

Thrilling though it may be, you’ll need breaks to decompress starting July 22, when the Sun plunges into Leo and your private, intimate eighth house. This intense, monthlong solar cycle turns your energy inward, so seek out depth over breadth in your interactions. Better to meet one or two people with whom you REALLY click than to have a zillion superficial “likes.” Slip off for some one-on-one time—which could get steamy with your erotic eighth house ablaze—or cocoon yourself away for some focused research while your mind is razor-sharp. The eighth house rules long-term finances, from investments to real estates to retirement planning. There’s a lot on your mind, so minimize the distractions!

You really might want to hang the “Do Not Disturb” sign starting July 26, when Mercury—the planet of technology, communication and travel—turns retrograde in Leo and scrambles signals with your closest people. Back up any sensitive data, from racy photos to classified documents. Increase your privacy settings, strengthen passwords and guard against identity theft while tech-titan Mercury’s awry.

This is a fruitful period for addressing any resentments or fissures in your most important relationships. The eighth house governs all the ways we merge our energies, assets and resources with others. If any of that feels off-kilter, Mercury retrograde is a good time to hash out a better distribution of power and energy. You don’t have to split everything 50/50, but the contributions you both make to the collective pot DO have to feel fair all around. Hold off on signing any contracts until the retrograde ends if possible—or at least have everything reviewed by a lawyer and make sure you feel comfortable with the terms.

With five planets retrograde throughout the month, this time is better spent tweaking and revising plans than embarking on new ones. Action planet Mars is retrograde in Aquarius and your money house; structured Saturn and transformational Pluto are retrograde in Capricorn and your first house of self; and foggy Neptune’s reversing through Pisces and your communication corner. Not only might you get mixed messages and unclear directions, you could be deeply evaluating a new path for yourself. Use this time to ask yourself what you really want. Not everyone else, Capricorn—YOU.

With energizer Mars retrograde all month in Aquarius and your second house of work and money, it’s crucial that you don’t rush into any business deals or job offers. You’ll get an eye-opening look at all of your money matters on July 27 anyway, when the Aquarius total lunar (full moon) eclipse blasts into this prosperous zone, bringing a bold push forward on your path. A thrilling career or money-making opportunity might arrive unexpectedly, and you’ll be glad you didn’t settle for just anything. Some Caps may suddenly and swiftly exit a job, as the eclipse says, “enough!” You could have an epiphany about how you’d like to make a living or change your lifestyle to align with your evolving values.

The second house rules self-worth: Get ready for a confidence boost as you OWN your awesomeness. You’ve worked hard to get where you are, so celebrate that. With the full moon in this luxe-loving sector, you might mark a milestone with a memorable reward, perhaps a meaningful piece of jewelry or an amazing celebratory dinner.

This is the final Aquarius eclipse in a series that’s been touching down on the Leo/Aquarius axis since February 2017, recalibrating the way you deal with money, work, investments, shared power, sex and self-esteem. Look back to the prior two Aquarius eclipses on August 7, 2017, and February 15, 2018, for clues of what might fully come together now. There will be one last Leo eclipse on January 21, 2019. Between now and then, prepare for a few more plot twists as you create a life (and a living) that matches the person you’ve become.

Love & Romance

With the planet of passion, Mars, retrograde in Aquarius and your zone of work, money and self-worth all month, stress over the job or finances could seep into couple time. And with Mars fraying your nerves, you might be experiencing a confidence dip. If you’ve got too much on your plate, delegate or let some projects go—for the sake of your sanity AND your relationship (or odds of finding one)!

On the other side of your chart, Venus is trekking through Leo and your sizzling eighth house until July 9. This can intensify the sensuality but also bring up strong feelings—which is great if you’re happy as a clam in your partnership but could seriously rock the boat if you’re not. With so many planets in signal-scrambling retrograde this month, words can get misinterpreted. Better to resolve disagreements the old-fashioned way: with hot makeup sex.

On July 9, Venus jets into Virgo and your ninth house of travel and adventure. If you don’t have a vacation on the books, remedy that stat! Couples should focus on their shared interests and making this trip as romantic as possible (hello, upgrades!). Single Goats could have a steamy holiday hookup, perhaps one that continues after you’ve returned home. With the love planet in your “long-distance” zone, you might be open to dating someone who lives in another state or country.

Throughout the month, Venus will form three flowing trines—first with innovative Uranus in your passionate fifth house on July 11, a day when a powerful attraction or strong feelings could bubble up out of nowhere. Then Venus will connect with structured Saturn (July 14) and transformational Pluto (July 27), which are both in Capricorn and can bring amorous breakthroughs AND the opportunity to expand into new terrain. Regardless of your relationship status, that kind of growth can only be a good thing!

Key Dates

July 11: Venus-Uranus Trine Expect the unexpected today as unpredictable Uranus teams up with the romance planet. This could spark a surprising attraction or perhaps more. Couples should do something out of the ordinary—it almost doesn’t matter what as long as it’s not the same old!

Money & Career

Hang onto your wallet! With reactionary Mars retrograde in Aquarius and your money house all month, there’s a strong temptation to impulse-spend or soothe stress with retail therapy. Old tensions with a colleague, possibly a jealous rival, could flare up now. Should you lay low or confront them? We say take the high road instead of going down to their level. With lucky Jupiter powering out of retrograde in your teamwork sector on July 10, exciting new connections will blossom between now and November 8.

Focus on forging powerful bonds, especially with the Sun traveling through your relationship houses all month and setting the stage for dynamic duos. The July 12 Cancer solar eclipse sweeps through your partnership sector. Align yourself with people who truly complement you, and don’t be surprised if a synergistic connection sparks up out of nowhere today. This eclipse could bring an exciting contract or a collaboration that will unfold over the next six months.

Pace yourself, because we’re in retrograde high season, with five planets in their powered-down cycles throughout July. The most “famous” retrograde, Mercury, strikes from July 26 to August 19 in your eighth house of shared finances. Inspect and protect: Check statements for errors, balance your books and shield your data, especially if you use online banking or payment apps. Since Mercury retrograde is notorious for crashing computers and messing with technology, back important stuff up to the cloud and password-protect those private documents.

A big money moment arrives on July 27, when a total lunar eclipse swings through Aquarius and your second house of work and money. Traveling neck and neck with unstoppable Mars, this fierce full moon could bring a big change to your career, possibly a promotion or a plum new client. If you’re negotiating a raise or new terms, ask for more than you think you can get, provided you have the confidence and experience to back that up. It’s possible that a position could be “eclipsed” away or that you decide to dramatically exit one path to pursue another. Should something unexpected occur, trust that it’s making room for a much better fit. Stay proactive, but don’t settle!

Key Dates

July 8: Sun-Neptune Trine People are receptive to your ideas under this magnetic alignment of the confident Sun and compassionate Neptune. Communication flows with ease. You could attract the perfect person to partner up with today. No need to force an agenda—just be irresistible! When you’re genuinely excited about your ideas, people will respond to your enthusiasm and naturally want to get on board.

Love Days: 8, 12 Money Days: 18, 27 Luck Days: 16, 25 Off Days: 10, 14, 23

[temporaklepticgalanty]

Just For Fun - Most Stable Session*

The classes I'm using for this one are Knight, Page, Thief, Rogue, Maid, Heir, Bard, Prince, Seer, Mage, Witch, and Sylph. The aspects I'm using are Time, Space, Life, Doom, Heart, Mind, Breath, Blood, Light, Void, Rage, and Hope. The actual most stable session is probably a 12 Muse Studio but for creativity we'll stick to one-and-done. Let's just get started.

Heir of Space is a subtly passive class which is created and protected by creativity, location, patience, and material form. Frog duties would come very naturally to the HoS, to the point that the frogs themselves probably seek the Heir out. They would be natural creators, bon vivants and savants at many disparate crafts and arts, and probably also the designated cloner for their group. With their task and land quests being minor distractions, and the coincidence of repeatedly happening to be in the right place to avoid trouble, this gives the highest possible chance for a truly Ultimate Tadpole to be bred.

Seer of Time is a passive class which intuitively discovers and becomes knowledgeable about timelines, temporality, endings, and spontaneity. They would be the ultimate guide to the pitfalls of a session and thereby the ideal steps towards a desired circumstance. A competent Seer of Time would be like a living walkthrough, and I imagine their time travel would work a lot more like Groundhog Day, with every Doomed self making their mistake known to their alt-Seers (Seeing the Endings.) The SoT would have an inherent trouble with acting instead of observing, but in this 12 person session, there's plenty of chances for that to be shored up.

Rogue of Light is a notably passive class which takes knowledge, luck, insight and focus for the benefit of others. A spy without peer, and a notorious gossip, the RoL is constantly abuzz with good timing and good tips, and everyone feels at the top of their game when this Rogue is around. While often overlooked, their instrumentality to the success of the session is in retrospect crazy, and just their inclusion makes things start to feel a little more fair. That is, grossly unfair for everyone that opposes the players. While they naturally keep an eye out for trouble, they try very hard not to be the cause of it, and so probably take longer than normal to deal with their land quest — focused quite solidly on their ever-present anxiety before completion brings self-mastery.

Bard of Void is a very passive class which uses secrets, subterfuge, the unknowable, and the unreal to destroy those same things, and destroy them in others. If the foolish Bard is dealing with Nothing, how dangerous could they be? Still pretty dangerous. A BoV can be completely trusted to be untrustworthy, but at least they always keep everyone else's things unambiguously out in the open so more genuine minds can deal with it appropriately. And such a perfect counterspy is pretty hard to make outside of this prestigious talent. Sorry, Jack. Some very immature people say to neutralize or eliminate any bards as soon as they're discovered, but in this Bard's case, that's probably not possible at any level.

Knight of Life is a passive class that is utilized by growth, vivacity, biology, and community, and utilizes them for the benefit and defense of others. I don't know that there's a better, classic tank in all of Paradox Space (even a Lord would more likely be a summoner) and they'd have the bars on bars to prove it. While hard to get to know, their loyalty (and, unfortunately, martyrdom) would be easy to come by. The KoL's talent for tactics and strategy shouldn't go unmentioned, either: cosmically, they instinctively know how to trade a little in the way of resources to get a whole lot more from The Other Guys, and only ever get better and better. And if certain (imo ludicrously unfounded) headcanons are true, could you hope for a better possible frog wrangler?

Prince of Doom is a very active class which destroys rules, restrictions, entropy, decay, and inescapable ominous portents of all kinds. How to account for the terrible danger of the ultimate destroyer and the shadow of death? Why, make the destroyer destroy destruction, of course! The PoD is someone who embodies contradictions, with a harsh first surface impression and a bubbly, supportive personality in opposition to it. They are a powerful motivator for others, and someone who cannot be contained - even by being meaningfully defined. You'll never be quite sure how the Prince showed up where and when they did, but you'll always know you would have been screwed without their intervention.

Page of Heart is an active class that begins with little identity, romance, and emotional fortitude of their own, but grows to incredible stores and utilization of it over time. The page is a dangerous class in the wrong aspect, and their neediness can sabotage their allies before becoming the best asset, but the damage a wallflower can do is minimal. If you like underdog stories and transformation arcs, you're going to absolutely love the PoH, and once they're actualized, no one would argue you're unjustified.

Mage of Mind is an active class that experientially discovers and gains an understanding of decision, choice, logic, and justice, to use to their benefit. They might start out as a troublemaker, but through clutching at hard-won insight, they reveal a real dependability and wisdom. While never going to be a very emotionally available person, they are emotionally stabilized and personally satisfied by just how useful they are practically. Just one piece of advice, though? Never bet against the MoM when the stakes are high. When they come out on top, they'll never forget who counted them out.

Witch of Breath is an active class that changes motivation, liberty, weather, air, and the very nature of change, sometimes with sudden and devastating power. More than a little flighty, but with plenty of utility to make up for it, the WoB will capriciously end up helping briefly in everyone's tasks on every land, and have the most consistently damaging strife abilities. The gamist portions should be a breeze (lmao) with this player involved — and think about all the ways twisting motivations could help with Dersite agents!

Maid of Blood is a subtly active class which creates and protects their blood, duty, friendship, bonds, and interconnectivity in general. If you want the ultimate friend, you found them. Undoubtedly the emotional center of this sizeable group, the MoB probably also makes easy connections with consorts, Denizens, sprites, and every other construct in the Medium. The Maid is why everything doesn't spiral all out of control into factionalism, like certain other 12 person sessions in certain canons. Please don't ask about the Blood Magic. We know, it's gross. (And very metal.)

Sylph of Hope is a passive class which is readily changed by and restores hope, desire, benevolence, self-motivation, faith and fantasy, especially for the benefit of others. I'll be honest, this is here to act as a pressure valve for the Bard, Thief, and Maid, who might otherwise become very dangerous to everyone. It's a good thing that the SoH is in some ways cosmically immune to burnout, because it's going to be a big job repairing all the Hope. The Sylph is the rock among all rocks for others to cling to, a veritable shining mountain of glory to keep things steady. And they probably aren't too bad at just playing the game, too. gg thx for carry.

Thief of Rage is a notably active class which takes fury, rebellion, immediacy, and skepticism away from others for their own benefit. Rage can make or break a session and is a big nova aspect; the same is true of the thief, and this is probably the biggest possible single round of damage outside of a Lord of Doom (which likely isn't even a valid S*B classpect, given canonical evidence) or a very-prone-to-self-destruction Page of Rage. While the ThoR is extremely powerful, they would also be extremely prone to going off alone and potentially making antagonistic plans to their peers. Thankfully, the Hope player of this session can easily help them release that head full of steam, or otherwise disrupt their bottomless impulse against authority and cooperation.

I feel that it bears saying that while this is a very competent session, it would not be without it's dramas. S*B is still a harrowing trial through the morass of self-discovery, by way of the power of teamwork, during an interplanetary war. Having a really good chance of pulling it all out is still an entire series-of-novels-worth of narrative and enjoyment. Consider how many times the Greek Myths have been retold; did knowing the beats ruin the art? Of course not. And so this session, or some subset array of this session, would still be fun.