#We could go deeper into his psyche on this.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The musical episode.

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[solaariia]

the self-concept

hellour! this is gonna be a long post!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

i was studying for my social psychology course today (for context i'm a psych major) and read something that might be helpful for everyone who's been having doubts about manifestation subconsciously being part of our everyday lives—as opposed to something made up by the internet.

the information i'm about to provide is from actual sociologists and psychologists, so this is rooted in studies. i promise i'm not about to pull info out of my ass! this is mainly just a very very brief summary of the self concept chapter we're reading about in class.

side note, i named all the researchers in case you wanna check out their work yourself! i made this post to provide insight about our self-concept and clear limiting beliefs. :)

what is self-concept?

so we hear the term self-concept a lot in the manifestation community. Neville, Edward, Sammy, Dr Joe Dispenza, bloggers on tumblr… all of them talk about it all the time. but what does it actually mean?

the self-concept refers to the total sum of beliefs that people have about themselves. it consists of cognitive molecules that social psychologist Hazel Markus called self-schemas. these are the beliefs about ourselves that guide the processing of self relevant information. but what does this actually mean?

well, self-schemas are to the self-concept what books are to a library. if someone asks about yourself, you will probably answer with something quick like: “i am a woman” or “i am a student.” those simple attributes are part of your self-schema; if we want to go deeper, body weight is also a self-schema. for people who regard weight as a crucial part of their beliefs, something simple like a gym trip with friends or buying stuff at the supermarket may trigger thoughts about the self. but if a person is aschematic (not concerned by a certain attribute) about body weight, no thoughts will pop up.

we already know that the self is a special object of our attention. whether its a thought or a song, our consciousness is like a spotlight. this means that it can shine on one object at one point in time, yet shift rapidly from one object to another and process information outside of awareness. in this spotlight, the self is at the forefront of our minds. its what's most important to us at that moment. keep this in mind for later!

to finish with the explanations, neurologist Oliver Sacks highlighted two important points about the self:

🩷 there is a private “inner” self, and an “outer” self we show to others. if we don’t self reflect to understand how were feeling, how will we understand our emotions and actions?

🩷 the self is heavily influenced by social factors.

now–what does that last point mean? well, what we think about ourselves is rooted from childhood. if we grow up hearing “you’ll never amount to anything” or “you’re my favorite child” (extreme examples i know), then that's what we’ll ingrain in our self-concept. this notion brings me to the fun stuff–the studies!

is self-concept scientifically proven?

psychologist Gordon Gallup performed a series of studies where he put animals in front of a mirror to test if they could recognize themselves. at first, they vocalized and greeted themselves in the mirror (my dog did this too when he was a pup, he would bark at his own reflection and play with it), but after several days, only great apes seemed capable of self recognition, using the mirror just like any other human would. grooming themselves, making faces… in short, they recognized themselves!

why do i bring this experiment up? well, this proves that the concept of “me” is necessary to define our self-concept. we must first recognize ourselves as Something to become Someone.

using that same study in humans, this process of self-recognition begins between 18-24 months. which means that from this point onwards we start to define Self (consciousness).

you might read this and–admittedly–think: “oh this blog post hasn’t said anything about manifestation!” true, but i want to present the basics or self-concept first to understand how it affects our daily thoughts!

there was another experiment we talked about in one of my lectures (i do not remember who performed this study specifically, but Dr Patrick Heck did one similar to this one and the results were the same), where participants were told to take a test. half of them were told to boast about themselves, and the rest were instructed to describe themselves modestly. naturally, participants who spoke highly of themselves scored higher on these tests than participants who didn’t. so… you all see where i’m going with this.

remember how i said to keep the “consciousness is a spotlight” paragraph in mind? i’ll finally touch on it with this next and last thing i’m gonna talk about (in this post at least!).

we already established that the first step in the evolution of our self-concept is the ability to recognize ourselves as Someone. the second step, however, involves social factors. sociologist Charles Horton Cooley introduced the term looking-glass self to suggest that other people serve as a mirror in which we see ourselves. and another sociologist by the name of George Herbert added that the only way to know ourselves is by imagining the opinions of our significant others and applying them to our self-concepts. sounds familiar?

how do i change my self-concept?

Neville mentioned the “mirror-self” on his conferences too. he said that one of his favorite techniques to better his Self was to imagine a loved one speaking kindly of himself. in his book Your Faith is Your Fortune, Neville wrote: “Stop trying to change the world since it is only the mirror. Man’s attempt to change the world by force is as fruitless as breaking a mirror in the hope of changing his face. Leave the mirror and change your face. Leave the world alone and change your conceptions of yourself. The reflection then will be satisfactory.”

since the self-concept is a library (our perception of Self) made out of self-schemas (books brought to us by our peers), we can see that sometimes, what we think of ourselves is just an amalgamation of beliefs implanted to us by the people in our lives. so if we were given these books we don’t like, why should we keep them in our library?

to change these negative beliefs we have about ourselves, all we have to do is replace them with positive ones. i know, i know, this is what every person who studies loa and manifestation regurgitates over and over. its nothing that hasn’t been posted to numerous blogs or twitter threads before.

however, the point about this whole post is to tell you why that is the only way to change your self-concept. if your daily thoughts are filled with phrases like: “my sp doesn’t want me” and “i’m so broke” or “what’s the point? this is all worthless anyways.” STOP. DROP. CHANGE.

journal. write your limiting beliefs in your ipad, paper, wood, stone–whatever.

use your hands to apply muscle memory. once you have them, CROSS THEM OUT!

i can’t manifest = I CAN MANIFEST EVERYTHING I WANT

i hope i shift tonight = I KNOW I SHIFT EVERY NIGHT

i wish i had money = I HAVE ALL THE MONEY I WANT AND MORE

just those small changes are enough to rewire your entire self-concept. also, exposure. the more exposure you have to something, the more insecure it will make you. if you’re having a hard time manifesting, remove all blogs, twitter accounts, and people that limit your beliefs. less exposure to negativity = less negativity reflected in your self-concept.

problems with the Self will always be there. if you remove a negative belief, another will pop up. all you can do is learn more about your “inner” self and recognize how you’re feeling. what you can do is focus on the positives, and automatically, your self-concept will change.

persist in the assumption until it becomes your reality!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

thank you all for making it this far! just in case, the book i got this information from is Social Psychology 11th Edition authored by Kassin, Fein and, H.R. Markus. there’s a lot of interesting information on this academic book that is similar to the ones Dr Joe Dispenza has written, so i could make another post like this in the future! take care!

[luvyeni]

❛MOVIE AND A SHOW❜ ( mark lee & na jaemin )

p. bsf!mark & jaemin x fem!reader w. 2k

warnings? dom!jm subish!mk switch!mc , threesome , oral ( f & m receiving) , unprotected sex , dirty talk , name calling

— 𖦹 ( mark and jaemin catch you saying their names while masterbating ) !

"we're like 45 minutes away , start getting the movie ready." mark spoke through the phone. "tell her i want ramen." you heard jaemin's voice. "dude , she can hear you - oh hi ( name )." you chuckled. "hello jaemin , and i will make your ramen for you."

"thank you pretty girl." you whined , you didn't hate the nickname perse , you hated the way it made you feel when jaemine said it. "jaemin , i told you about calling me that." he laughed. "yeah , you said it made you horny , i remember." mark slapped his friends arm. "dude , stop that."

"i was drunk jaemin." you may have been drunk , but you definitely weren't lying , and jaemin knew that. "drunk words are sober thoughts , pretty girl." he teased. "you guys are always doing this." mark whined. "just playful banter markie" you said , knowing that name had the same effect on him than pretty girl had on you.

"a-anyways , do you think you can make me some to?" you decided not to tease him. "of course i can , i have some left over beef to go with it for you to." he smiled , you were thinking of him. "thank you."

"wait before he hangs up i have another request." jaemin spoke up. "what is it na jaemin." you knew it would be something crazy , but still decided to play into it. "could you put on those cute little blue shorts you wear to sleep." your eyes widened. "bye jaemin." you hung up the phone , not because you were uncomfortable , but because his words were beginning to have an effect on you.

your friendship with jaemin and mark had always been like that , flirtatious and teasing , but jaemin always had a way of getting under your skin much deeper , in a way that made your thigh clench. mark on the other hand — he was always more shy , but that didn't stop you from teasing him , brushing your nails across his thighs to make hom squirm , smiling when his a red hue would dust across his cheeks.

but that's all it was , friendly banter , but lately your attraction towards your friends was seemly growing stronger , so strong to the point sometimes late at night you'd often wonder what it would be like — to take them both , jaemin was never shy about his sex life , he often expressed his late night endeavors with other women , so you knew he was more so on the dom side , but mark , he was harder to read , you knew he wasn't a virgin , saying as he lost his virginity to a girl in your psych class , but he was more so reserved , but you couldn't help but think about the noises he'd make if you were to suck him off.

"fuck." you groaned , the throbbing in between your legs due to your dirty thoughts about your bestfriends. you looked at the clock , they're still like 30 mintues before they got here , sure you were cutting it close , but you were sure you could get yourself off before they got here.

deciding to put your needs first , climbed into your bed , reaching over into your nightstand drawer for your trusty vibrator , shimmying out of your pants and panties , running the toy along your clit , sighing in pleasure. "shit." you didn't need any porn videos , your thoughts alone were all you needed.

"i told you , sometimes you go to far jaemin , you probably made her uncomfortable." mark pestered the boy , jaemin rolled his eyes at his friend. "why'd you have to bring up the shorts?" jaemin knew mark found you just as attractive as he did , jaemin was just more open about his attraction towards you.

they made it to your apartment. "jesus mark , everyone knows about the shorts , just admit you find her attractive , i mean she's fucking hot." he reach under the mat , grabbing your spare key. "she didn't even seem uncomfortable , plus we talk like this everyday." he put the key in the hole , twisting. "you just don't want to admit you want to fuck her."

they walked into your apartment , taking their shoes off. "where is she?" mark looked in the kitchen , it was empty , no smell of ramen either. "she probably fell asleep , you know her." jaemin said , making his way to your room.

"maybe we should let h-" mark followed behind trying to stop his friend , but he was quickly silenced by a bunch of silent whimpers , your silent whimpers. "is she-" jaemin hushed his friend , trying to hear the noises you were making , his cock twitching in his pants , you sounded even better than he imagined , he reached for the door knob , ready to take action , but mark was quick to stop him.

"maybe we should leave her be." he was about to drag him away , when he heard you moan again , this time you moaned out his name , you were thinking of him while you were getting off. "see i told you , she's not as innocent as she seems."

jaemin reached for the door , this time he opened it , and there you were , your legs spread out , your puffy cunt on display , eyes closed , so unaware of the company in your as you desperately fucked the vibrator into your wet hole. "ja-jaemin fuck." upon hearing his name , he wasn't gonna hold back anymore , he was gonna miss his chance.

"jesus pretty girl." your eyes shot open , being met with jaemins infamous smile. "you should've called me , you know i would've swam here if i had to." closed your legs , looking at your two friends. "h-how lo-long have you two been there?"

"long enough to know that you're a nasty girl , who thinks of fucking her bestfriends." he smirked , his eyes clouded with lust. "spread those pretty legs for me." your eyes landed on mark , he tried his best not to look at you , but the tent in his pants told another story. "hey princess." jaemin pinched your thigh. "you'll have your chance to fuck him , right now you need to listen to me , spread your legs , let me see that pretty cunt again.

you slowly opened your legs , revealing your cunt , which was still stuffed with the vibrator. "so fucking pretty." you whimpered , clenching around the toy. "go a head , keep fucking yourself , show us how you do it , how do you fuck yourself when you're alone?"

you brought your hand back to the vibrator , pulling it out of your hole , pushing it back in. "f-fuck." you moaned , he bit his lip , cock swelling in his pants. "come on pretty girl , be good and speed up." you tried to , you really did , but much like before their arrival , you couldn't reach that peak. "i-i can't."

jaemin smiled , taking it upon himself to reach between your legs , stroking your clit. "jesus , you're so fucking wet down there , you got this wet from a little teasing , what was it?" he slowly thrusted the vibrator into your hole. "was it me calling you pretty girl , that get your pussy all soaked , had you fucking yourself to the thought of your friends." he turned to mark. "you should see how wet she is for us mark."

marks finally gained feeling in his legs , mustering enough courage to make his way over to your bed , sitting down. "sh-shit." he groaned , you dripping on the bed , your cunt clenching around the toy. "we did that mark , we made her pussy wet like that." jaemin took it upon himself to spread your legs open wider. "i bet you she taste like fucking heaven , why won't you give her a taste."

mark locked eyes with you , looking for any signs of discomfort. "pl-please." you whined , eyes big. "see mark she's begging for you , come on don't leave our pretty girl hanging." he climbed in between your legs , getting a much better view of your pussy. "she smells so fucking good." your hips jerked in anticipation. "please mark , please eat me out." he cursed to himself , diving right in , licking a strip up your folds. "oh fuck markie."

jaemin bit his lip , lifting up your shirt. "no bra pretty girl." he pinched your nipples. "such pretty tits." he grabbed a handful of your tits , squeezing. "so soft." he brought his lips to your nipples , sucking on them. "oh my god." you gasped as he sucked and sucked on your bud.

meanwhile mark was in between your thighs , taking everything you had to offer , licking and slurping up all your juices , the way you were moaning his name made him even harder , be began to grind against the mattress , just to relieve himself a bit. "ma-mark , more." you grabbed his hair , shoving him further into your heat , using him to get off , mark was in heaven , this was all he ever wanted , for you to use him.

"pay attention to me now pretty girl." jaemin whispered seductively into your ear. "gonna fuck you so hard when he's done." his fingers made it's way to your clit , rubbing it. "been waiting for years to fuck this pussy." you clenched around marks tongue , making him moan. "i know you want to cum , mark is waiting baby , how about you cum all over his mouth , he's desperate." your legs closed around marks head and jaemins hand , your mouth forming a o shape as you came , mark catching all of it into his mouth.

"fuck fuck fuck!" you screeched , pushing marks head away. "mark you're gonna make her cum again , we don't want her to get too tired now." he finally pulled away , his eyes completely blown out , heavy breathing and hair messy , he looked too good.

"move over , you got what you wanted , now it's my turn." they switched spots , jaemin now in between your legs. "i want you face down , ass up pretty girl." he man handled you into position. "looks like mark didn't do a good job cleaning you up baby , your still dripping down your legs." he collected your juices , bringing his fingers to his mouth. "so fucking good."

he undid his pants , letting them fall to the floor , letting his hard cock free. "look at your hole , twitching for my cock." he lined himself up with your entrance , pushing himself into you. "fuck , so tight." he grunted , your cunt wrapping around him nicely. "so fucking warm." he groaned seething himself fully inside you. "best fucking pussy ever."

he pushed on your lower back , fucking deeper inside your hole. "yeah , take my cock , shit." he groaned , the many nights he spent fucking his fist to thought of you taking his cock , it couldn't compare to this moment , right here , to your actual pussy , your ass bouncing back against him.

your tired eyes turned to mark , and he almost came in his pants , the look of your fucked out face as you grabbed a hold of his hard on. "wanna suck you off." if they were fulfilling their wishes , why couldn't you. "f-fuck o-okay." he undid his pants , pulling them down enough to let his cock out , hissing at the air hitting his sensitive tip. "fuck , please hurry and put it in your mouth."

you stroked his cock , bringing your lips to his tip , kissing it before you took him fully into your mouth. "fuck your mouth feels so good." he moaned , letting you bob your head. "so fucking warm."

"look at you , so nasty for us baby , letting us have you like this." jaemin slapped your ass. "letting your bestfriends use you as fucktoy , is that what you want , for us to keep using you as our personal fleshlight , fuck you whenever we want?" you nodded , mouth full so your hum came out muffled.

"fuck ( name ) , im gonna cum." mark whimpered , you pulled away. "i want you to cum in my mouth." you stroked his cock. "cum for me markie." you gave his tip a few kitten licks , he threw his head back. "fuck , open your mouth please , please im gonna cum." you put his tip back into your mouth , his cum spurting into your mouth , his legs twitched as his emptied himself into your cavern. "shit."

you pulled yourself off of him , swallowing his cum , sticking your tongue out. "fuck." he breathed , "that felt so good." you smiled , quickly turned into a moan as jaemin hit that one spot inside you that had your eyes rolling to the back of your head. "did i hit it pretty girl?" jaemin question. "that spot that has you going braindead?" he hit it over and over. "fuck nana , im gonna cum."

"yeah? gonna cum for us." he said his own orgasm approaching. "show me and mark how much of a slut you can be , cum for us pretty girl." he slapped your ass , you let yourself go , mark holding your body up , as jaemin pressed his hips against your ass letting his cum flood your insides. "fuck , that's it , take my cum inside your pretty hole." he grunted , thrusting a few times before pulling out , your body fell against mark , cum seeping from your cum. "look at that." he pushed it back inside. "keep it in there princess , keep it warm while we watch the movie , maybe we'll fill you up again after the movie is over."

mark helped you get dressed while jaemin , cooked the food. "thank you , for you know." mark said. "you're so cute mark , no need to thank me." you said , your head resting on his thigh. "i wanted to do that , i've alway wanted to hear you whimper for me." mark felt his cock twitching in his pants again. "re-really."

"give it a break you two." jaemin returned with the food. "let's watch the movie first , you can fuck each other after." mark blushed. "wh-what are you talking about." he stuttered. "i see you were wearing the shorts." jaemin smirked , you looked down and sure enough , you were wearing the blue shorts. "oh fuck you."

"oh trust me baby , i will again , after the movie is over."

💬 nia's note: this was a request , im not sure if they want me to tag them , so i hope they see it.

©️LUVYENI

[de4dlyniightshade]

Mommy kink Spencer Reid.

I just need all your thoughts because on one hand hello momma issues and on the other he has a psych degree and he is hyper aware of himself, and internalizes everythinggggg

(You’re the HC OverLord/Lady/Pronoun of your choice and we all serve you)

there's no way in hot hell he doesn't have a mommy kink like LOOK AT THAT SOPPING WET LOSER?! that's mommy's good boy. and i'll die on that hill.

like he definitely knows that he'd like calling you mommy from the get go but he holds back in case you got weirded out by it, he'd much rather bite his tongue to save himself the embarrassment. he also knows that he could just ask if it's something you'd be into but spencer reid? asking? for something? nuh uh. no way.

the only way he'd get it out is by accident, the word rolling off his tongue while you're fucking him, his blood running cold when you stilled completely, looking back at him with an unreadable expression before he started apologising profusely, completely humiliated that he'd slipped up until you whispered the words "say it again" which he did, again and again and again until it was all he could say.

i think he'd love the intimacy of calling you mommy because it's something nobody else knows about and something only he can call you. it's something special between just you two and he likes that, he likes that along with calling you mommy you treated him extra sweet, knowing the deeper reason behind the name.

[sugar-grigri]

After questioning it, Fujimoto sets fire to his own creation

Witch, cremation, CSM wannabe... what if the work we love was burning?

You might think that the shortness of this chapter means that it doesn't say much, but the opposite is true - it's overflowing with richness and coherence.

The first thing that impressed me was the mastery of the action, particularly Quanxi's attitude during this very scene 

The fact that Quanxi bit Fumiko was nothing more than a way of controlling her future pain; she had perfectly understood that she was going to lose her legs as a result of the fall, just as she couldn't bite herself.

I also like the way we understand how extremely fast her regeneration capacity is, in just a few seconds her leg is healed, and the fake chainsaw men don't even have time to get any closer before their heads are flying.

Apart from the action, the chapter is also very rich in dialogue 

I'd like to come back to Barem's characterisation of Nayuta as not only a witch but also an ex-Makima.

First of all, it makes sense in terms of the scenario, because if Nayuta were to die, there'd be no more locks, and the public hunters' dilemma would also fall by the wayside. 

But we can dig even deeper, whether in the character of Barem or that of Nayuta. 

It's not insignificant that the flame-throwing weapon is the one who starts the witch-hunt, just as it's not insignificant that it's Barem who says it, given that he's a character we can describe as religious. 

I think Barem is the weapon with the most resentment towards his instrumentalisation, he also sees Nayuta as a threat because she was a former mistress of the weapons. 

But above all, why is the control demon closer to a witch than a demon? 

Obviously, when we think of witches, we all think of witch-hunting, but let's take the reasoning to its logical conclusion: why hunt witches? The witch is the symbol of what must be eradicated, of a close link with evil, but above all a pretext for the powers that be to eliminate women who represent a form of power.

Calling Makima a witch is consistent, but at the same time it differs in a few respects: she wasn't driven out by the government, she was deliberately put in place by it. But calling Nayuta a witch instead of a demon is consistent, because she's a demon who, despite her desire for control, blends in with humans. 

Nayuta sticks to her role as a little girl, whether it's her interest in school or her focus on her family with Denji.

Makima also had a real desire to integrate, despite the fact that her only response to socialisation was domination.

But she remains a witch, not because she is persecuted, but because she persecutes. 

It's not a question of demonising Nayuta, but of not presenting her as a cute, nice girl. I don't understand how some people think that the antagonist of part 1 could have been magically diluted by the power of love. Nayuta is no longer a tool, but she's still a demon exerting a form of control over Denji in his isolation.

Nayuta isn't Machiavellian and she thinks that by preventing Denji from seeing Asa, for example, she's protecting him. What's more, Denji deliberately isolates himself and thinks that Nayuta is the only one who will accept him. While he was psyching himself out over his wet dog smell after Asa's rejection, Nayuta, who claims to love the smell, only confirms this point of view.

Once again, the control demon's objective is always the pursuit of happiness for both of them, just as it was for Makima with Pochita or Nayuta with Denji. The control demon's obsession with Chainsaw Man is what marks the continuity between Makima and Nayuta. 

Nayuta's character may not be fundamentally different from Makima's, she's just marked by a more infantile control that's more demonstrative and noisy than adult control, which is colder and more insidious.

That's why I'm changing the premise, I think Nayuta is still Makima, but she's simply changed environment. 

When Barem pretends he's heard Chainsaw Man, I don't think it's as absurd as it sounds, he's the one who's most piercing about Denji in each of his interactions, he's insisting on something that Denji isn't admitting to himself. 

Whether it's his desire to become Chainsaw Man again in spite of Nayuta, or the fact that Denji also likes to have fans by presenting himself as one, I think that without saying that Denji wants his little sister dead, he thinks she's a witch... 

Witch and not demon, Nayuta is not the threat of an enemy, of a demon that CSM should eliminate, but she is not a human little sister, she is dangerous in her need to control her brother. 

I adore Nayuta, so I don't want people to think that I hold her responsible for everything, but I see a kind of taboo in the way some fans refuse to see her as anything other than the idyllic little sister 

CSM is grey, each positive facet will have a negative facet. Denji's relationship with his little sister is full of contradictory desires that also need to be pointed out. 

I think this chapter just points out the taboos, for example by calling Denji a CSM wannabe, I think that's a part of the character that's often overlooked. 

CSM is part of Denji's identity, but it's as much a role he's taken on as a mask he hides behind. 

To avoid facing up to his own existential difficulties, Denji hides behind Chainsaw Man, convinced that the only way to love him is to discover that he is Chainsaw Man, as if it wasn't possible to simply love the boy. 

Just as the only time Denji expressly confesses his feelings is when he's Chainsaw Man. Denji has never spoken of his grief as a human again, just as he has never come to terms with his dream of having sex. 

Chainsaw Man is the semblance of confidence that allows Denji to be himself. Didn't you notice how silent and passive he was as a human in the last arc? 

Fujimoto questioned one thing throughout part 2: what is Chainsaw Man? Is he the hero that a whole generation of people are fans of, Yoru's enemy, Pochita, that impostor, Denji's identity or... isn't he more all those moments when Denji is himself? 

Yoshida had wondered whether CSM would eat the demon of death, and Denji's answer to that question is to go and help Asa without a mask, just by encouraging her. Having just identified the great king of terror as the demon of death, the way to eradicate him also lies in Denji finding solutions not just in Chainsaw Man but in himself and in relying on others. Denji must come to terms with who he is and his isolation.

By setting up a protagonist who, like the former protagonist, experiences repeated bereavements, Fujimoto questions the outcome of grief. Hiding behind Chainsaw Man, isolating himself with Nayuta, is a form of withdrawal. The demon of death is already present in the way Asa and Denji tend to cope with the death of their loved ones. 

The door symbol for Denji, the cat for Asa.

That's why this work is a first break. The only way to eradicate these fake Chainsaw Man is through cremation, as this prevents them from using their blood to live again. This explains the immortality of the weapons, following the same logic: human blood constantly feeds a demonic heart capable of regenerating itself.

Denji's first response is to burn. Whether it's to emancipate himself from Chainsaw Man, by burning as a simple wannabe of himself, because Denji fantasises about an identity of which he is not the only possessor.

But cremation is just as much a response as escaping the witches - the isolation imposed by the demon of control - but cremation is also a stage in mourning. 

When we see the coffin of a loved one being lowered into the crematorium, it's an unheard-of act of violence, but it also symbolises the fact that there's no turning back, that it's a violent impetus to move forward. 

The person who has all the answers to all these facets of grief is none other than Power. Denji must also reclaim his identity as a co-contractor with the blood demon, just as he must reconnect with the painful memory to make the demon his "Buddy" again, but above all, Denji has two little sisters, so he mustn't isolate himself with just one. Blood is the key to regeneration, and she is the key to moving forward.

Fujimoto showed in the last arc how "Chainsaw Man" wasn't a satisfactory answer for his protagonist, so now he's setting fire to what has been established as a bad lead.

Fujimoto burns down all the taboos, all the biases we had about the characters but also the ones they have about themselves. 

If Chainsaw Man is to continue as a work of art, the title must be crossed out. 

The question is, what will replace it? 

[tswwwit]

do bill and dipper ever talk about their problems or have serious conversations? We don’t see much of them in the fics— talking about the past, trauma, or insecurities, etc

Getting to that point took them quite a while, but yeah!

Dipper will occasionally talk over or bitch about his life with Bill. Opening up about his feelings. His thoughts. Get a little vulnerable, even, around his husband. It takes a bit before he can do it and get Bill to take it seriously, but that's not a fuckup Bill makes twice.

Mind you, he's still Bill about the listening. Which means about 80% of his 'advice' to Dipper is 'you should totally kill that guy', and 15% is basic commiseration couched in teasing terms. The last 5% is such shockingly insightful advice that Dipper has to do a doubletake to make sure he's still talking to the same guy. One of the perks of knowing the human mind as well as Bil does.

Bill sharing his problems, though? Whoof.

There's a guy who could spend all day whining because the last party wasn't fun enough. Bitch about other people! His day! But getting Bill to admit he has deeper feelings is a billion times worse than pulling teeth. With a crowbar.

If Dipper wants insight into Bill's deeper psyche, he's got to augur the subtle signs of it. Puzzle it out, in fact. He's gotten pretty good at guessing what's going on behind that front - but holy hell does his husband not make it easy.

[clawbehavior]

we're five episodes into Shogun, which means we're halfway through the series and all the major plotlines have been introduced and the characters characterized. and i'm starting to notice things. 

namely, toranaga is becoming increasingly unlikeable. it started when he abandoned blackthorne to die after being saved by the man hours earlier, but it reached its peak with the return of the young heir's mother and the reveal that she's using the council against toranaga to protect her son. because then what is toranaga going to war for? we were told via the dead king's widow that toranaga needs to protect the young heir against the council, but clearly that's not true. so what's he doing? it bothered me that toranaga could be so kind to the young heir, playing with him and advising him, while neglecting his own son, whose insecurity around his father was so transparent that he was easily manipulated into starting a war. but then i wondered if toranaga was showing his true self (his third heart) to his son. that scene where he says "you categorize everyone as enemies and friends when you only have yourself" implies that he sees everyone as a potential enemy, which can only happen if his self-interests are at odds with everyone else's. seeing the end of episode five, i think toranaga is not what he seems. we know he can be duplicitous. he plays uncle and nephew against each other so easily, getting rid of the problem of their growing power by doing so. i think the falcon motif that's ever present in the show represents toranaga, flying against the sun so his prey can't see him until it's too late (episode one). he's fooling everyone, including his allies, which brings me to my next point. 

mariko's story is not going to end well. i didn't know why this was a limited series with no chance of a season two until we got her backstory. mariko is straight up suicidal, just looking for a purposeful/honorable way to do it. if blackthorne can see this within days of meeting her, across a huge cultural divide and despite language differences, then toranaga has clocked this about her too, which doesn't bode well for her life. the mariko-blackthorne-husband love triangle subplot serves a deeper function of revealing her psyche to us.  she can't let go of her feelings of injustice and dishonor from her family's deaths. (the flashback we get of her past shows her father's haunted expression because that's how she remembers the event, with horror rather than disgust for his actions.) this is why she tells blackthorne the truth about her family when ordered to by her husband, even though blackthorne tells her to lie and tell him something else because her husband won't know. mariko can't let go of what happened to her family (and her husband doesn't let her). she's been spiritually dead for ages and the return of her husband from the dead not only means she cheated, which someone with her honor code can't live with, it means she cannot be happy with blackthorne. her tragic past coupled with her strong feelings towards honor/dishonor makes her easy for toranaga to use, though it's unclear for what.

interestingly, mariko and blackthornes' opposing ideologies are why they survived and found each other. mariko resists quietly, inside her soul (the eightfold fence), turning to her Christian faith and becoming devout and learned in Portuguese to speak with the priests. this is how she ends up as blackthorne's translator, a position of power and later romance. blackthorne, in contrast, resists outwardly and every step of the way. that scene where toranaga tells him to give up because he's outnumbered and blackthorne replies "unless i win" captures his character perfectly. he's going to fight until the last second, which is why he survives the journey to Japan, and why he gets separated from his men and integrated into a foreign culture, and why he steers the ship to safety rather than being left behind to die. that stubbornness to live shows up as a tendency for breaking all the rules, the result of which is meeting mariko and unintentionally getting her to fall in love with him. it's so fascinating how their ideologies have set them apart from their own people and brought them together while indicating their incompatibility. 

the show does a good job of layering characters and keeping them consistent, so i have faith that they'll return to yabushige's scary character. him torturing a sailor to death in pursuit of an existential question in a way so barbaric that it scares even the villagers did an excellent job in setting the tone of the show in episode one and setting the show apart from other historic period dramas. so it's disappointing to see him turn into a conniving goofball. hopefully this is a short term thing. 

i haven't been so intrigued by the political machinations within a show in a long while, probably since GoT. can't wait to see how the rest of it plays out 

gif below courtesy of @yocalio. look at toranaga's face shadowed in the sunlight. we don't fully know him.

[appleteeth]

Continuing on the post about Rhys being too stupid/oblivious/silly to be in the military, I had to transcribe this classic skit about the time he got lost inside his own camp.

Rhys: So we set up our little site, in the bush, and uh, we set up our little hootchies which are these tents. And we've got face-paint on and we can't say a word. It's tactical. The New Zealand SAS were after us, trying to find us. So it was very scary, I was only 17.

And then we did these shifts to guard the area, and mine was between 2am and 4am. And I got taken out to where the point was, through the trees, and it was dark, very dark.

The guy went away, *mimes holding a gun and shivering* and I'm sitting there til 4am, shivering my arse off.

Shit!

And then, 4am, I go back to get the next guy. I start walking back, it's only about a 5-minute walk back to where the tents were but 10 minutes later, I have no bloody idea where I am. And so...

*Miming holding a gun and looking around in a panic, voice pitched up to how he sounded at 17* Ohhh shit! ohmygoohhhhhoowhatthefuck! *high-pitched whine*

Another 5 minutes and I just panic and I just break the tactical rule.

*Miming holding a gun, shakes it up and down like a cartoon character who's angry* OhhhhhOOOooo...

Heyyyyyyyyy!!! Hey guYS!!

C'mon ImreallycoLLLLDDDD!! Guys!

*High-pitched whimpering and crying*

This is BULLSHIT. There'sNOWARON we're BEING STUPID. Wieeuuu... *more crying*

Cold...

PLEASE! Idunnoknow WHERE I AM.

*Stomping like a frustrated toddler*

I 🦶 DO 🦶 NOT 🦶 KNOW 🦶 WHERE 🦶 I 🦶 AM!

*sobs*

I'M GONNA FIRE MY GUN STUPID THING ANYWAAAYYYYYY *more sobbing*

*even more high-pitched* I'mgonnaFIREIT.

*sulking* I'm just gonna fire it I don't caaaarrreeee --WAH!! *mimes getting his foot grabbed*

Normal voice: Someone grabs my foot.

*Mimes being thrown to the ground*

Whoommppp-pomp!

I land on the ground and this big corporal lands on top of me.

BOMF.

*Now doing the voice of the corporal, much deeper but hushed voice, finger on lips* Shutthefuckupshutthe--!!!

*Back to baby-Rhys voice with his hands up in surrender* aaaHHH!! AHH-HA!!

Corporal: Jesus Christ, fucking 'ell! Darby! It's you!

Baby-Rhys: eEEeEEE!!!

Corporal: We thought you were the SAS trying to psyche us out! You've been walking around the centre of camp for the last half an hour!

Baby-Rhys: eeEEEHHHIiinoooo I'm FREEZING. Feel my hands!

*Normal voice* So the tents were around in a circle and I was right in the middle, walking round *mimes holding gun, turning around* and all the soldiers were standing to like this:

What the fucks THAT??

And you could hear twigs breaking to start off with, and then a slow progression of, *hushed* whatisit??

*sounding like a haunted, high-pitched demon*

HeeeeeEEEEYYYYYYY.

*mimes soldiers freaking out, makes tactical gestures with hands that look an awful lot like wanking and putting a hat on*

HeeeyyyyYYY GUUUYYYYYSS!

*More freaking out, shushing the other soldiers, more wanking gestures*

Normal Rhys: Until they worked out it was my voice. Which is odd, because you'd think they'd get that straight away.

So I kinda thought at that point maybe the army wasn't right for me...

[its-your-mind]

sorry I won't be done dracula posting until never bc ALSO TODAY. WE GOT THE REMINDER OF JONATHAN'S HAIR. I know that hair-turned-white-by-trauma is a well-known and oft-utilized trope, but what I fuckin LOVE about jonathan is that yes. he has been supremely and deeply fucked up by what happened in castle dracula. it took him months to recover with the nuns, and even when mina brought him home he wasn't fully There. it was only after he spotted the count in london and had van helsing come and tell him that no, he was not mad, the memories he had were real, this monster is real and he's now stalking london... that we see an upturn in jonathan's recovery.

but the thing is. the THING. is. hair-turned-white-by-trauma characters are always characterized by a deep, deep wound to their psyche that never healed properly. their interactions with the rest of the world are shaped by that wound - the powerlessness they felt when there was something or someone trying who hurt them, and they had no way to stop the hurt. they'll do whatever they can do get away, and accept help from the first person who offers. and jonathan's story does follow that trend.

BUT THEN. most of the time, that powerlessness and fear is turned to a facade of stoicism, of intense calm, cut through with occasional abrupt bursts of an intense anger that seems to come from nowhere. but it doesn't come from nowhere. it's a self-protection instinct. they were hurt before. they will Not let something do that to them again.

jonathan... calls for mina. when she comes, he marries her instantly. he gives her his journal, makes her promise never to read it unless she absolutely needs to know what happened to him. wants to keep these memories buried. then lucy, then van helsing, then seward... it was all real. and these people want to stop this from happening to anyone else.

and to jonathan, this isn't a quest for vengeance. he stays back. he helps mina keep the logs. he provides information where he can, stays out of the way when he's not needed. he becomes a pillar of support, the "husband of madame mina" who is at her secretarial disposal. the others sleep outside their room to protect them. it is only after dracula attacks mina that jonathan asks to go out on missions, to help seek dracula out, to join in the pursuit, kukri knife in hand, ready to stop the vampire where he stands and stab him through the heart. and when the count escapes? when they have to make a plan of pursuit that may not work? jonathan does not vow to avenge his wife. he does not vow to kill the count at all costs. he vows that, if mina is to be turned and they cannot stop it, he will go with her. he will not allow her to live as such alone. a vow not made from a place of deep anger and pain, but from an even deeper place of personal, unshakable and devoted love.

the character arc for a hair-turned-white-by-trauma character is so often dominated by a journey back to trust, back to love.

jonathan went into dracula's castle with a journal of train schedules and paprika-filled recipes for his fiance. every time he believed himself close to death, he would write a goodbye to his beloved. and so when he escaped, body withered and mind shattered, he didn't patch himself back together again with ironclad mistrust and an impenetrable heart of steel. instead, he tried to get home. when he couldn't, he called for mina, and he waited for her. he could not trust his own mind. he knew she would come. his memories felt like lies. he had complete trust in her. when he was weak, he knew she would be strong. she would hold him, support him, until his mind was strong enough again.

[thecuriousquest]

Are you able to write how yandere erasermic would react to darling reader cutting herself and they find out? If you don't write for sh please ignore this!❤️

When Blades Dance with Flesh

Yandere EraserMic x Fem!Reader

Tag List: @issamomma

Warnings: Yandere themes, cutting, blood, blades, cruel punishment, implied kidnapping, aggressive behavior, stripping

Checkout my Master List here.

—————————————————————————

Caught in the tight grip of Eraserhead and Present Mic, you never have a moment of peace unless you’re in the shower.

The shower is your safe space, your refuge. It’s the only place you can get away with your unhealthy coping mechanism.

They harp on you day in and day out. Picking up the blade, you caress the skin of your thigh with the sharp edge. Ribbons of scarlet swirl with the water, running down the drain. The stinging burn left from your wounds distracts you from the fact that your life is over. Long gone are the days where you could be care free. Now, you always have to be on your guard.

Tears drip into your incisions, and with your palms a bloody mess, you wipe them away with the back of your hand as you shut the water off. As you step out of the tub, you take out your little first aid kit and begin to clean up, further removing your worries from your mind as you focus on disinfecting and wrapping your thighs.

The cutting and clean up help distract you, and at this point, you’ll welcome any distraction.

Throwing away a piece of gauze you used to dab at the incision, you finish tying the bandage around your thigh. You’ve gotten to the point now where you can walk without wincing, even if it is especially difficult with the larger and deeper cuts. However, you can’t let them know.

When you arrive at your room without a bed, you look through your closet for pants. Pushing past the burning of your aching flesh, you pull on your black jeans, careful as not to shift your bandage out of place. Dressing in socks and a white, long sleeve shirt, you pad out of the room and down to the dinner table, knowing that they won’t tolerate you being late.

You don’t want them to have to come and get you. Nothing good ever happens when they do that.

———

You greet Hizashi in the kitchen, giving him a shy wave as you sit down in between the head and the other end of the table. It’s unnerving to be in their presence, but when you go against their rules, you always feel like you’ll eventually get caught. You can’t help but feel like anything you do, any facial expression you make, any glint in your eye, might end up revealing your addiction.

Yamada sits down at the far end of the table as Shouta takes the head. The raven haired man looks especially displeased tonight. You wonder what could be irking him.

“Something wrong?” You ask right before swallowing a mouthful of food.

“You know, we understand that this is a big adjustment for you. It can’t be easy, but we brought you here for your own safety. You can’t be out in a world so terrible and dangerous.”

Having heard this speech so many times before, you simply nod as you shove another forkful of food past your lips. “Yes, Sir.”

“We have rules here for a reason. They’re to make sure that you are safe and well-behaved. Can you list them for me?”

Yamada sits up, a little confused about what’s going on. “Is she in trouble, Sho? What happened?”

All his partner does is hold up a finger to him in response. “We’ll get to that. Right now, I want you to list the rules for me.”

You don’t even have to think about them. Every rule is ingrained in your psyche along with the punishments that go with them if you happen to break one.

“Never call you names, never try to run away from home, never do anything to endanger myself, no talking back, don’t run away from punishments, hold still during punishments, eat three meals a day, and go to bed when told to.”

“Right, so, care to explain this?” He takes a piece of bloody gauze from his pocket and sets it on the table before you.

“That’s not mine.” Fuck, you’re basically digging your own grave now.

“Is this yours?” Shouta asks Hizashi.

“No,” the blonde replies.

They fix their attention back on you, waiting for a truthful response.

“Well?”

“Well what?” you ask sharply.

Shouta reaches over the table and grabs your bicep. Remaining seated, he drags you in front of him. He shifts towards you in order to keep you trapped between his long legs. The brunette begins rolling up your sleeves, and he sees the scars on your arms, but nothing fresh.

As he tries to look you in the eyes, guiltily, you look away. His rugged demeanor cuts through you like a hot blade, and you find yourself trying to squirm away from his grip.

Keeping you clenched between his knees tightly, he begins working the button and zipper of your pants. You know there’s no point, but you try to swat his hands away.

“No, Shouta! Don’t you dare! That’s so fucking indecent!”

He gives your lip a light smack. “Don’t mouth off to me, girl. If you know what’s good for you, hold still.”

You bend at the hips, trying to sink your weight back as you push against his shoulders. All he does is add pressure to your knees and thighs, making you cry out in pain.

Damn, he’s strong.

Wrestling your pants down isn’t an easy feat, and he has to spank you multiple times just to get you to release the loops of your jeans as you hold onto them for dear life.

The bandages have shifted out of place completely with all of the manhandling. With your pants at your knees, you have to stand before the two heroes in your underwear with your blood-soaked thigh bandages.

The look on Shouta’s face is one you never thought you’d see as he stares at your cuts. His mouth is drawn in a line, but there’s so much going on behind his eyes. Anger at himself for not knowing, anger at you for not coming to him, confusion for how this could have happened in the first place, guilt because he didn’t pick up on a single clue, and hurt because you’re his precious girl who’s taking everything out on her skin.

And then, you see it. A tear welling up in his eyes before he forces it down.

You look to Hizashi and see that he isn’t sad like Shouta. He’s fuming with the rage of a thousand gods.

Pushing himself away from the table, he stands from his chair and stalks over to you. Grabbing you by your wrist, he walks over to the sink. You’re not sure what he’s doing until he uses the spray head attached to the sink to wash your thighs with cold water.

Shouta doesn’t know what to think, but he doesn’t see Hizashi doing anything too bad, so he lets his partner do what he thinks is necessary. That is until the salt comes out.

Shouts shoots out of his seat and stands between you and the blonde. “Wait a minute. Do you really think it’s a good idea to do that?”

“Sho, we gave her time to adjust, and she took advantage of that. We had no idea. I had no idea. For fuck’s sake, Shouta, she could have ended up killing herself!”

The thought of finding you dead in the house one day causes the brunette to give you one last look before stepping aside.

Hizashi forces you to sit on the chair you previously took at dinner. He holds both of your wrists with one hand as he goes about pouring salt all over each and every slit you cut into your thighs.

An agonized wail tears from your throat, and Hizashi hasn’t even begun the real punishment yet. He slides his massive palm up and down your flesh, scrubbing the wounds with the tiny white grains until your skin is raw, throbbing, and aching for relief.

You have never really given any thought to the phrase “rubbing salt in the wound” until just now.

He watches you intensely, noticing your fingernails digging into your palms. He shakes you, forcing your attention on him.

“I’ll have none of that! No more hurting yourself!”

Sniveling, you try to placate him. “Okay! I won’t!”

Hizashi looks around at the mess he made in the kitchen. There’s salt and blood on the chair along with water on the floor from spraying you. Sighing, he asks Shouta if he can put you to bed.

“Leave her legs as they are. She needs to learn,” the Voice Hero requests as the brunette picks you up bridal style.

Shouta doesn’t respond as he takes you to the bedroom. He peels your wet clothes off of you and does his best to wash the salt from your cut up thighs despite what Hizashi asked. It hurts, and it makes you hiss, but Shouta assures you that everything will be alright as he wraps up your legs with gauze bandages.

The pro places his hands on your face, cupping your cheeks. “You had to have picked this up from someone. That’s exactly why you need to be with us. You can’t take care of yourself. You just don’t know how.”

Closing your eyes, you cry because you know arguing won’t get you anything but a mouth full of soap and possibly a sore bottom. In your agitated state, you feel like all you can do is scream.

Tormented sobs violently ricochet through your body, and Shouta truly believes his words are registering to you.

Oh, yes, they register alright, but not in a positive way like he thinks. All you feel is loss and entrapment, feeling as though you’ll never be able to escape this hellhole.

———

The aftermath of your cutting incident is quite a gruesome process. Shouta and Hizashi bring in a specialist for laser hair removal because you’re no longer allowed to shave ever again. The kitchen knives are locked up in a safe, and you have no idea what the combination is. All of the glass in the house has been replaced with bulletproof windows, and they even figured out how to make all of the mirrors unbreakable.

With all of this done, they still keep an eye on you as if you’re a danger to yourself. You’re their little lamb that they have to protect at all costs, and they’re going to make sure that you understand that.

Fuck, you could really use a good blade right now.

[sapphire-weapon]

I don't know if this is just my perception, but I've noticed that Krauser uses Ashley several times as a way to provoke Leon (especially during their final fight).

In their first encounter, immediately after Leon realizes it was Krauser who kidnapped Ashley, the camera focuses on his angry face and then on his hand about to grab his gun. As if the knowledge that it was Krauser who was to blame for Ashley's kidnapping was Leon's motivation to start fighting back.

Then there's that cinematic where Leon arrives just in time to see Krauser take Ashley away with nothing he can do to stop him. Krauser even walks slower and without bothering to turn to look at Leon, not even when he shouts Ashley's name. In Separate Ways, we see Krauser start running with Ashley in tow as soon as Leon can no longer see them.

After killing Salazar and using the elevator, if we use the rifle to get a closer look at the speedboat, Krauser turns to look at Leon, while Ashley is unconscious in the back seat, almost as if he is challenging him.

During their final fight, Krauser mocks Leon's concern for Ashley, and then tells him that he won't be able to save her, and that's when Leon explodes again.

Krauser taunts again when he tells Leon to hurry up or who knows what could happen to Ashley.

And near the end of the fight, Krauser tells Leon that if he needs motivation, he should think about Ashley.

I think Capcom's intention was to show how deeply Leon cares about Ashley through Krauser. That's why I can't take seriously people who say Leon only cares about Ashley because 'it's his job', it just doesn't fucking make sense, it's like they haven't played the damn game, or just decided to ignore all that.

there's a lot going on here, actually, and it goes deeper than just Ashley herself. Krauser absolutely dangles Ashley over Leon's head, don't get me wrong, because he knows that it's a source of angst and insecurity for him -- but it goes far deeper than just this one woman.

Krauser says at one point that he knows Leon's potential better than anyone -- he knows Leon better than anyone. and he may just be right.

in OG, Krauser asks Leon: "what is it that you fight for, comrade?" to which Leon responds: "my past, I suppose."

now, take that little snippet of a conversation and stretch it out over the course of four years of military training. it's likely that Krauser had to dig deep into Leon's psyche in order to motivate him to perform at his absolute best -- and what's at the center of everything for Leon is what happened in Raccoon City. Krauser likely knows every detail of what happened that night.

and what happened that night was that Leon failed to save the life of a single person.

so, since LeonA is canon in the Remake-verse, let's take a look at the list of people Leon failed to save in Raccoon City:

the cop in the gas station

Officer Elliott

Marvin Branaugh

Ben Bertolucci

Annette Birkin

Ada Wong

I don't know if you're keeping score, but that's... just about every person that Leon meets. the only exceptions to this are Kendo and his daughter (who Leon never attempted to save), Claire (who never needed saving), and...

Sherry, whom Leon then gets kidnapped and held hostage almost as soon as he volunteers to take sole custody of her.

so, when Krauser says to him: "you can't save anyone" he means anyone. the US government sent a man who's never been able to save anyone but himself on a mission alone to rescue the president's daughter. if anyone knew his history and his track record, he likely wouldn't have been the agent assigned to do this.

but the only person who knew it was Krauser, because Krauser's the only one who ever got close enough for Leon to tell. and since Krauser's now a traitor and a terrorist, he uses that knowledge as a cudgel to beat Leon with.

so -- yes, Krauser is purposefully using Ashley as a knife to twist in Leon's heart, and yes, saving her is more than "just doing my job" for him. it's extremely personal for him for many reasons. and as he starts to feel more and more affection for her, this need to save her becomes more and more intense, and it becomes easier and easier for Krauser to weaponize that against him.

and this is just storytelling 101. as the story goes on, the stakes have to rise higher and higher until they reach an absolute crescendo at the climax. and since Leon is so physically capable and very little in RE4make comes off as an actual threat to him, his stakes are mental and emotional in nature. as his feelings for Ashley intensify, so too does his anxiety about being able to save her.

the climax of RE4make's story is the walk to Luis's lab, and by then, Leon's feelings for Ashley have gotten so strong, and his need to save her has become so intense, that he sees her life alone as comparable to all of the people who died in front of him in Raccoon City.

if he can just save her, that would absolve him of his other failures.

that's why the script was written so that Ashley says the actual words to him in the ending.

this is the culmination of Leon's several character arcs in the series so far; it's the payoff for his character development; it's the catharsis for the angst he brings into RE4make with him.

Leon was a man who couldn't save anyone, but he ends RE4make as a hero.

his 21-year-old self would be so proud.

[emeritusemeritus]

Vulnera Sanentur [Weasley Twins x Reader]

Part 13

Previous / Next

Masterlist

Title: Vulnera Sanentur

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader x George Weasley {established relationship}

Timeline: DH1&2- Initially set during the battle of the seven potters. Canon and certain plot points have been altered for the needs of the story.

Summary: The battle of the seven Potters throws your world into chaos when one of your boyfriend’s is cursed. As Snape’s ex-potions assistant and previous protégée, you recognise the inflicted curse immediately and demand answers from your mentor.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of war and Voldy, descriptions of injury and blood, descriptive smut, p in v sex, shower sex, tension. Outside sex. Semi public sex. None sexual nudity. Crying. Snape has a soft spot for reader. Arguments. Probably some cursing. Mentions of nightmares. Reader is part of the Order of the Phoenix. Mentions of death (Dumbledore). Mentions of Tonks’ pregnancy. On it got a angsty. So much angst I can’t tag it all. Not spellchecked nor beta read, we die like Madeye.

Additional Warning: this chapter contains some heavy themes, mentions of injury, torture (though only brief) and negative body image. If you aren’t comfortable with this please feel free to skip forward.

"Go shower baby, take all the time you need. I'll make you a cup of tea for when you're out," George says gently, his hands placed tenderly on your hips as he presses a kiss to the back of your head. You didn't protest, though for a brief moment you did think that it was strange that Fred hadn't joined you but you were too tired to really think, not wanting to begin spiralling again. You turned and leaned up to press a kiss to George's lips, a sweet and gentle peck that you probably needed more than him before you walked into the bedroom to get some fresh clothes.

The bed wasn't made and there were clothes littering the floor near the wardrobe, the doors still wide open which only proved the point that they had fled quickly to Muriel's without time to fix up before they left. You walked over to the large dresser and immediately spot two empty photo frames littered around, missing the photographs that had occupied them only a few months ago. You recognised the photos as one taken in your fifth year during a snowball fight with both twins and you stood proudly around a snowman you'd made in the courtyard. The other, was a photo of the three of you at the yule ball, all dressed up in your finest, their hands at your waist as you beamed into the camera. Not having the capacity to think any deeper about the missing photos, you opened the drawer with your pyjamas, searching for the coziest ones you could find, your brain screaming at you for comfort. You pulled out some underwear from the drawer below and then reached for an oversized T-shirt that had once been George's, or rather Charlie's originally, the quidditch print long since faded from multiple wear and washes but it was the comfiest thing you owned, having stolen it from George in your fifth year when he'd massively outgrown it.

You walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, closing the door behind you and placing down your clothes onto the little wooden stool that was kept beside the shower. You took a deep breath, psyching yourself up to look in the mirror, reluctant to see what would be staring back at you.

You moved to the side in an act of sheer bravery and finally looked at your form in the mirror, the woman staring back at you feeling unfamiliar.

You looked ghastly, exhausted and hollow-eyed, so much so that you hardly recognised yourself. You had bags under your eyes that were a threatening shade of purple and your skin looked sallow and ashen, at least what skin you could see under the inconceivable amount of blood covering the entirely of your torso, chest and neck, some splatters even on your face. Your clothes were caked in dried blood, the various layers hardly decipherable between each other under the full coverage, the browny, crimson hue so distinguishable against the light grey fabric of your shirt. You peeled off your ruined jacket and tossed it only the floor, hearing a thundering clunk as it hit the tile, reminding you of the broken Lebetum still inside your pocket. You pulled off your boots, followed by your socks and then your filthy jeans, having to undo the belt you'd stolen whilst you were camping out in a caravan park, your trousers no longer fitting correctly. You bit the bullet and peeled off your T-shirt, feeling thankful that Bill's numbing spell was still holding up as you managed to get the T-shirt off without pain. Next came your bra, chucked without care into the pile of soiled clothes at your feet until you were stood in just your panties.

You turned back to the mirror and within seconds your lip quivered, a barrage of negative thoughts swirling around your mind as you looked at your disfigured body. Your eyes welled with tears the longer you looked at your figure, seeing it clearly for the first time in so long. Your bones protruded more than ever on account of your involuntary weight loss and your hips no longer felt as full, your regular curves dimmed, no doubt due to the sustained lack of food. Your breasts, thankfully, still looked the same if not a tiny bit smaller but they appeared to be the only part of your body that had come away unscathed.

Your shoulder looked hideous, the months of non-healing tissue finally knitting together to form jagged, raised scars from the multiple teeth marks that had dragged your skin apart as you were dragged down the blasted hole in the stairs, her mouth still firmly clamped around your shoulder. The black staining from the venom had long since vanished after your painfully drawn each drop out with your wand, though sometimes you could still see a darkened hue, a figment of your imagination that felt real. The two largest puncture marks from the front, venomous fangs still looked inflamed though admittedly did look better than before; still not exactly a pretty sight. You moved your gaze to look at the gashes on your forearm, remembering the pain and the blood dripping from the wounds as the venom mixed with your blood, burning you from the inside out. You thought of Nagini and how her own wounds had caused her to lurch and convulse violently.

You looked at your bruised ribs, the smaller cuts over your hands and all the rest of the marks you'd long since forgotten, all now visible to your scrutinising eye. Then, you looked up at your face and saw the scar on your cheek, though healed and white against your skin, from Bellatrix. You tried not to think of the torture you'd endured, knowing that Hermione had suffered a greater torment but that didn't mean that you didn't suffer too. She'd taken great pleasure in bestowing the cruciatus curse upon you multiple times and watching on as she sliced at your body, pressing in deeper and deeper with her dagger as Fenrir Greyback paced around you threateningly, his resolve only moments away from slipping. Your lip had healed thankfully without issue, the sharp edge of her bejewelled ring breaking the skin as she backhanded you with force.

You couldn't bare to look any longer and stepped away from the mirror, realising that the steam had significantly clouded in the unventilated room which you quickly cleared away with a flick of your wand. You peeled off your panties and grabbed a towel, stepping into the shower. You watched as the dried blood staining your skin drains away, circulating around the plug hole before disappearing, the water becoming clearer with every passing second as it cleanses your skin. You want to cry at the sight but you can't, too emotionally drained by the last 24 hours, and more. The familiar scents of your shampoo and body wash fill you with comfort, even more so when you reach out for a bottle of shower gel that Fred and George shared, their scent filling the hot shower as you poured a little into your hand under the running water, allowing it to bubble up and vaporise in the enclosed space.

You washed your hair three times, feeling as if nothing would ever wash away the grime which you felt lingered on every strand. You conditioned your hair fir the first time in almost a year, a luxury you had not been able to do in all that time away. You felt comforted and slightly happier now, at least more stable; the shower working it's magic to wash away the physical and metaphorical dirt on you.

Eventually, you felt clean enough to turn off the shower and reach for the large, fluffy towel, parting yourself down before quickly dressing, not wanting to catch an untimely glimpse of your body after your mood had improved. You quickly dried your hair with a wave of your wand, hating the sensation of wet hair and exited the bathroom to find your boyfriends.

As soon as you exited the bathroom, you noticed that the bedroom had been tidied. The bed was freshly made and the clothes that had been strewn across the floor had been put away. You smiled to yourself as you walked between the en-suite and landing, thankful for your boyfriends thoughtfulness.

Two arms engulf you the moment you walk into the room as if they were unable to wait a moment longer and you realise by the scent and the force of the hug that it's Fred clinging to you.

"Princess," his words fall flat and there's more emotion in his voice than you can fathom, a need so desperate that you feel your heart break just a little. No matter how many times you'd embraced in the time that had passed between your reunion and now, it never seemed to get less desperate, all of you needing to reconnect on a deep level.

"Your tea, Angel," George says and you watch from over Fred's shoulder, what you could see anyway due to the sheer height of him, holding a steaming cup of tea you were very grateful for.

"You wanna drink it in bed?" Fred says suggestively, lips close to your ear and not letting you go. "We could order some food or we can pick something up, we'll wake you up when it comes."

"And we can eat in bed, move the TV in there, like we're camping out," George adds, moving to stand behind you, caging you between them.

"That sounds perfect actually," you reply, dropping you head to rest on George's shoulder. Someone is stroking your hip and you can't tell which twin it is but it's soothing and comforting being held so closely between them. "Will you come with me?"

"Wouldn't dream of leaving you," Fred replies, the hand on your hip clutching tighter, making you realise that it's Fred's hand.

"Not going anywhere," George adds, his own hand resting on your side now. "We might need a shower first though."

You felt a tingle of guilt at his words, realising that you'd been selfish, knowing that they had gone through things too, the battle and the lead up during the war. You waved them off to go shower, wanting them to wash away the day just as you had and decided to wait for them in bed.

Crawling into your oversized bed with fresh sheets and clean pyjamas feels almost like a religious experience after sleeping on the uncomfortable cot inside the tent, floors, barns and the occasional car for months on end. The soft, warm sheets and springy mattress felt like a luxury as you crawled in and snuggled down into the soft bed. You wanted to stay awake desperately so that you could savour the moment the three of you were in bed together but you felt your eyes slipping, though you fought against it. Fred showered first whilst George ordered food for you all and dragged the TV into the bedroom so you could all rest and recuperate.

You watched him carry in the Tv, seeing the muscles in his arm bulging under the weight, his fiery hair stuck in every direction and to you he had never looked more gorgeous. You couldn't help but stare, committing every part of his body to your memory, feeling as if you had to make up for lost time. George then jumped in the shower after Fred and you watched as Fred changed into equally comfy pyjamas as yourself, the set you'd bought him for Christmas two years ago.

Fred climbed in beside you to your right, followed by George on your left as soon as they were both showered and dressed. When their arms reached out to pull you in, rolling your body onto Fred's chest with George tucked tightly behind you, you felt immediately that everything was right in the world again. Nothing was said, not even a faint murmur as you all soaked in the moment, happy to have the familiar bodies beside you.

"Princess... Sweetheart, food's here," you hear Fred say distantly from your dreamless sleep, exhaustion fighting against your consciousness until you force your eyes open. Your mind and body protests, needing so much more sleep than you'd taken but you fight against it, needing food and love too.

George had plated everything up and the TV was already playing some muggle show you remembered from before you left, though the name escaped you.

You tucked into the food enthusiastically, hardly remembering the last time you ate so well. You'd become accustomed to a diet of fish and mushrooms with the occasional tinned good you'd come across, though it was never certain when the next meal would come, most the time it was days before you were able to eat again. Your pacing with the food slowed quickly as your stomach began to lurch and gurgle violently, no longer able to process such rich food or indeed a hearty amount. You sipped some water slowly and began eating again, though much slower now so that you didn't irritate your tummy.

The twins began talking, mostly to each other or to no one in particular about various things, some mention of the shop and other parts just commentary from the show you were watching but you didn't really focus on their words, just enjoying the soothing tones of their voices, happy to hear it again. Once your stomach was full, your eyes began getting heavy again and this time you didn't resist, allowing the much needed sleep to take over you, knowing that you were safe between the men you loved.

When you woke again, it was completely dark outside, the curtains in the bedroom not showing any sign of light even from the sides, making you frown as you considered what time it could be. You looked at the clock beside the bed on Fred's side and saw that it was 3:23am, meaning you'd been asleep for nearly 11 hours. The twins were asleep either side of you and you noticed that the food had been cleared away and the TV was no longer on. George was snoring gently to your left, lay on his back with his hand outstretched towards you but not actually touching you. Fred's arm was thrown over you waist, hand resting on your breast as he always liked to, like it always was before.

You peeled yourself away from Fred delicately replacing his arm onto the pillow behind you and slipped out of bed to go to the toilet. After drying your hands, you crept out of the bedroom and slipped into the kitchen for a glass of water, taking a seat at the kitchen table as you shuddered, having not felt the cold air of morning until you exited the bedroom. It was silent in the little flat, with no noise for the vendors or late night delivered you'd grown accustomed to in the time you lived here before. You had to remind yourself that you were safe, that there was no threat and you didn't need to be on alert incase anyone approached, in stark contrast to the months you'd spent on the run. It was just the three of you. Voldemort was dead. His followers had fled, died or been captured. You were safe.

Your shoulder was aching, the numbing spell Bill had cast had nearly completely faded but the pain was manageable. You sipped your water and a thought crossed your mind, that for the first time in months, you hadn't had night terrors about Christmas Eve in Godric's Hollow. It could have been that Voldemort, and Nagini, were dead and no longer able to haunt you, or perhaps it was having the twins beside you again so you weren't alone or maybe it was just that you'd been so sleep deprived that you'd simply passed out for 11 hours.

It was strange to be home, to be surrounded by your things and all the familiar comforts that you'd been without for so long. Your mind couldn't register the change and you felt like an imposter in your own life, like you weren't actually in your body anymore. How could you ever process this? How would you ever get better? You thought of Harry, Ron and Hermione, wondering if they were all feeling it too, where they awake and lamenting like you were? Unable to sleep and yet unable to do much else.

You signed and placed your glass in the sink, deciding to crawl back into bed where you wouldn't be alone.

"Baby?" You heard George say in a small, sleepy voice as you crawled back into bed, under the covers between the two.

"Sssh, it's me, I'm sorry go back to sleep Georgie," you whispered, reaching out to place your hand on his chest, feeling bad for waking him.

"Are you okay?" He whispers back and you nod in reply, hoping he'd feel the movement against him. "Really though?"

"I will be," you say honestly, eyes not closing as you stare into the dark room, though you're not certain that you believe your own words.

"Come here," he says, reaching out to pull you into him. You melt into his body, his arms cradling you against him as you rest your head in his chest. "There's so much I have to say to you," he says quietly, his deep voice vibrating in his chest, "I'm so sorry for how I was before, how I treated you. All you did was help me and I pushed you away. When you left, I thought I'd never get the chance to apologise or to make it up to you, if something had happened to you I'd," he pauses, changing the trajectory of his speech. "I promise that everyday I'll prove to you how much I love you, how sorry I am."

"George, it's okay," you sat quietly, sitting up a little as you search through the darkness for the outline of his face.

"He's right princess," you hear from behind you, alerting you to the other twin who was apparently awake. You feel a tender hand on your back and know that it's Fred as he scoots closer. "We both have so much to make up for."

"But I left, I'm the one who," you begin to say, only to be cut off by George.

"Helped defeat Voldemort? Found and destroyed Horcruxes? Slayed the snake? Acted on the task you'd been given by Dumbledore? You did nothing wrong, you did what needed to be done, accomplished so much."

"But I left."

"You came back."

A moment of silence passed as the three of you realise that there is nothing to argue about, each of you carrying your own guilt and burdens but no one holding any grudge against the things you couldn't change. Fred turns and flick on the beside lamp, the room illuminated with a faint glow as he keeps it dimmed. You realise as he turns back to you, feeling both of their gazes on you that there's so much left unsaid, so many questions that need answering. You shift on the bed so that your knees are pulled up to your chest, facing the two of them. Even mussed up from sleep and still tired they look gorgeous, never more perfect to you.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Fred asks and you flick your gaze to him, mentally questioning yourself if that is what you wanted.

"Only if you're ready," George adds, a little more delicately. Truthfully, it's the last thing you want. You want to forget everything that happened, sweep it under the proverbial rug and carry on with your life as if nothing had happened, but that was impossible, they deserved answers. You open your mouth and close it twice before you find the right words to say.

"I'll answer any questions you have, you deserve to know but I don't think I can explain everything right now," you reply honestly, reaching for your ponytail and twirling the hair around your finger nervously. The twins nod, seemingly fine with this proposal, understanding that telling the whole story would be much too hard for you. Thankfully, Ron and Hermione had explained quite a lot of the general story up until Godric's Hollow, when Bill had intercepted and diverted the conversation away.

"How long? How long did you know that you'd have to leave?" George says, his voice holding an emotion that made your gut clench. He didn't sound accusatory or betrayed but you realised the small hesitation in his voice meant that he needed to know how long you'd kept it from them.

"Hermione asked me just before the minister came, I said I'd consider it at first but then Dumbledore left me something in his will and it became obvious that he intended for me to join them as well."

He seems pleased by this answer, expelling a large breath that he'd been inadvertently holding as he nods gently, understanding.

"That thing that protected you, and me, Dumbledore gave you that?" Fred asks, pulling the information from your answer, no doubt still confused by what had happened with the Lebetum.

"Technically," you said with a nod, pausing to take a deep breath as you realised how much you'd have to tell them. "Severus made it to give to me, through Dumbledore in his will. It was his way of protecting me, his patronus was inside it," you began to explain, feeling the weight of his revelation hanging over you. You'd have to tell them.

You shifted a little on the bed, pulling your knees closer to your chest as you begin to explain.

"When he died, he gave me his memories for the pensieve, so that I could understand everything. He made the Lebetum, the black device, it saved us so many times when we were out there searching for the Horcruxes. He made me his assistant so that Voldemort wouldn't notice me... he, he loved me."

After a moment of silence, you look up into the faces of your boyfriends, excepting to see disgust or anger but instead found empathy. George looked outright sad whilst Fred looked supportive, both of them seeming to understand.

"We figured," Fred says with a gentle shrug, though he isn't dismissive of the fact. "You're beautiful princess, hard not for everyone to fall in love with you."

"Shut up," you mumble with a shy smile.

"But seriously, I don't think anyone had ever heard him laugh except for with you, or smile. You're brilliant and it's kind of hard not to notice how gorgeous you are. Didn't realise he felt it so deeply though," George says, reaching for your hand. "If you felt it back, that's okay."

"What?" You say, flabbergasted by the notion.

"It's really okay," Fred answers with a nod, "you chose us in the end right? But we know how much he meant to you."

Once again you're rendered speechless, surprised by their reaction. In the grand scheme of things it didn't matter now, he was dead, but you couldn't help but think that there might have been something there, even if you'd never realised.

"So he protected you?" George says, slightly diverting the conversation. You nodded.

"Yeah, his patronus led us to the sword and out of Malfoy's murder mansion," you say, picking at the covers with your fingers. You look up again when they don't laugh or reply and realise that they hadn't been told any of that. "Sorry, bad joke."

"You were at Malfoy Manor?" George's tone sounds immediately uneasy, something in his voice alerted you to the fact that he knew something, probably horror stories from the order.

"We were caught by a group of snatchers, they took us there," you explained, hoping that they'd skip past the details. You felt suddenly uncomfortable, realising that you'd have to tell them everything, the scars that littered your body and the torture you'd endured. They'd see you different after this, never look at you the same.

"What happened?" Fred's voice is shakier than you'd ever heard it. You took a deep breath and sighed, trying to be brave.

"Bellatrix tortured us," you say, trying to get through your words, "Hermione had disfigured Harry and then tried to get Draco to identify him but he couldn't so she kept us down in the dungeon and tried to pull information from us individually."

"Angel?"

"Hermione got the worst of it, she's still shaken from it and I think Ron will hear her screams forever," you ramble.

"Angel." His word was identical but his tone was not.

"She had this dagger, she'd ask questions and dig it in more and more if she didn't like the answer, she called over Fenrir Greyback and he was circling like a predator just waiting, taunted with each cut. That's how I got this," you gestured briefly to the scar on your cheekbone. "And a few more. When that didn't satisfy her she used the cruciatus curse. Severus, the doe, he sent Dobby to get us out when I used the Lebetum, she launched the dagger as we were leaving and it killed Dobby as we disapparated."

You couldn't look at them for a few moments as you breathed deeply until you did brave a peek and saw very different reactions in the twins. George looked heartbroken whereas Fred looked furius, his hands clenching white at the information.

"He took us to the safe house, to Bill's, I'm so sorry we couldn't tell you, but after what happened at the Lovegood's we couldn't risk telling anyone about where we were and Mr Ollivander had to rest up, then we needed Griphook to get into Gringotts, I'm so sorry."

"We understand," George said, squeezing your hand that you realised was still in his own. Fred didn't reply and you figured it was far from fine with him, but he didn't say anything. "What happened after?"

"Bill and Fleur let us rest up, he tried to fix my shoulder but," you paused, realising what you'd said. You cursed yourself mentally and closed your eyes, hoping to avoid that very topic entirely. "But then we needed to get into Hogwarts."

"Your shoulder?" George asks tenderly and you can feel his eyes flicking over you, as if he'd see something through your shirt.

"Please, don't," you said with a weak voice, tearing brimming at your eyes already, not wanting to have to tell them the story of your shoulder, or re-live that night again. You drop George's hand and hug your arms around yourself, the internal scars from that night still haunting you more than ever.

You hear a rustle and feel the bed shift from under you and look up to see Fred walking out quickly without a single look back. A sob rises in your chest at his actions, expecting this to happen but not for it to hurt so much. George immediately pulls you into his arms, pulling you into his lap as his arms cradle you, rocking gently as he shushes you.

"It's not you Angel, sssh, it's not your fault," he says tenderly as you cry, knowing that you'd pushed him away. "None of this is your fault, you hear me?"

You don't believe him in the slightest, unable to reply as your lip quivers like a young child, consumed by your heartbreak as you realise now that you really had chased him away. This wasn't what Bill had said would happen at all, you were too damaged to be loved now.

"Baby he'll be back, he just needs to cool off."

"He won't," you cried, pulling away from George defiantly until you're stood at the side of the bed, arms still clutched around yourself as if you'll fall apart and shatter if you don't hold yourself together. "I'm damaged, I'm disfigured, I'm broken George! Who would want to love me now?"

"Me."

He steps towards you, sheets falling from around his waist as he moves to stand directly in front of you, bowing his knees gently until he's face to face with you, his hand resting against your cheek, thumb tracing the scar that marks your face.

"I want to love you, always, and I will. So will Fred. Do you love me any less because I only have one ear now?"

"What? No," you say immediately, if not a little defensively. There's a brief smile that crosses his lips at the quickness of your reply and his eyebrows lift just a little, as if testing you.

"Then why would Fred and I love you any less because of your scar?"

"It's not that one," you say with a sniffle, realising that he thought you meant the one on your cheek.

"It doesn't matter, not to me."

"Or me."

You ship your head round and see Fred stood in the doorway, looking at least a little sheepish.

"I'm sorry princess, you didn't deserve that. I just couldn't listen to anything else. The thought of you being hurt, it's too much," he slowly begins walking over to you though he's careful, as if you'll react badly to his presence. "The thought that we weren't there to protect you, to help you, it makes me sick. There's not been a moment I haven't loved you since we were in third year, maybe even before, and nothing would change that."

"Angel, will you tell us?" George asks delicately, his hand running up your back, stroking lightly. "Show us."

Looking between the two men you adored, fighting through the tears that still blurred your vision, you gave up. You began to pull at the bottom of your T-shirt and slowly dragged it up over your body, revealing more of your marred body to them until you were stood entirely topless, your arms instinctively covering your breasts. Your scars and bruises would be completely on show and your disfigured shoulder, open to their gaze. You can't look, care face looking at the disgust on their faces, horror, shock, regret; whatever it was that they would be showing in their expressions.

Your eyes fly open when you feel two delicate kisses pressed against the scarred flesh of your shoulder and you look up just in time to see them both pulling away, having pressed a delicate kiss to different parts of your shoulder. Your lip wobbles again but it's not over sadness or devastation anymore, but rather heartfelt gratitude at their tenderness.

"How did it happen princess?"

"Snake," you sigh, reaching for the T-shirt you'd stripped before placing it over your breasts to cover yourself as you sat on the edge of the bed. "That night in Godric's Hollow, it's was Christmas Eve and Harry wanted to visit his parents' graves. There was someone watching us, an old woman from the side of the graveyard. Harry recognised her as Bathilda Bagshot. She didn't speak but led us away, back to her house. She took Harry upstairs whilst he was trying to question her so me and Hermione stayed downstairs to look around. And then I saw it," you paused, feeling naseuous at having to experience it all over again in your mind, the sight and the smell making you pale. "There was blood everywhere, flies, everything was rotting. Then there was a bang and I ran upstairs to Harry, just in time to see Nagini slither out from Bathilda's dead body. It was awful, the smell, the sound. She attacked Harry to I stepped in to block him and she lunged at me, sinking her teeth into my shoulder and dragging me down the hole where the stairs had been. I managed to get away and Hermione blasted us out of there but she's already passed the venom through."

You look nervously at Fred, preparing for him to walk away again but he doesn't, instead he crouches down beside the bed so that you're roughly the same height and presses a kiss to your forehead.

"Hermione tried everything to get the venom out, my shoulder was burning, turning black, but nothing worked until extracted it by hand. I got the venom out but it never healed, burning all the time and then the connection happened." You looked between them, seeing them listening intently, encouraging you to go on. "That's the reason it had to be me killing the snake, things started happening, I could connect with her, see what she was seeing."

You began crying again, sobs making your chest heave as you relived the moment again, "I had to watch as she killed Severus, I was in her body, her mind, I could feel everything, it was like I was killing him."

A large sob wracked through you as your mind replayed that moment with excruciating detail. You could still feel the force of it within you, the fangs sinking into his flesh, the blood-thirst she'd felt. Fred lunged forward and pulled you into his chest, his big hands covering you at George still absently stroked your back, up your spine.

You sniffled and pulled back after a few moments, seeing tears in Fred's eyes and George's as your gaze flickered between them.

"It's why I kept passing out, every time Voldemort or Nagini tried to connect my shoulder would burn," you explained, feeling bad for keeping them in the dark all this time.

"Has it stopped now?" George asks delicately and you nod, pulling the T-shirt up to cover yourself further after it had slipped when Fred hugged you.

"Yeah, I'm just me now."

"Wouldn't want it any different," George says, not missing a beat.

"I'm so sorry for all of this," you say, not stopping even when they begin to argue, "for leaving, for keeping you in the dark, I never wanted any of that." You turn to George, addressing him specifically, "I know things weren't great between us when I left, I'm sorry that I left without explaining or sorting things, I never wanted you to think I'd left because of that."

He gives you a little one sided smile and moves closer, "it's all done now, and all of that was my fault. I figured you wouldn't want me anymore, that I'd always be the one you were stuck with and I couldn't bear to see it on your face so I pulled away." He crouches down beside Fred in near identical positions, "sound familiar?"

You bite your lip and nod, briefly looking at the beside clock, seeing that it was now approaching 5am.

"Shall we get some sleep? We can talk more tomorrow if everyone wants to," Fred suggests, making you nod. You weren't overly tired anymore but lying down in bed and resting did sound appealing. George agrees and rubs at his eyes, only now allowing himself to look tired.

You stand slowly from the edge of the bed and the T-shirt you had draped around your chest is pulled away quickly, making you squeal and rush to conceal yourself. You look to see Fred with a playful smirk, laughing as he holds onto your T-shirt defiantly, eyes glinting in delight. You laugh along, the first proper, honest laugh you'd let out and playfully paw at him to get it back. His little act has worked to break any tensions that had remained from the heaviness of the conversation and you continue to laugh as you grab for the shirt in his hands.

He gives it back to you immediately, not wanting to push boundaries and you slipped the T-shirt back on, not caring that you'd be inadvertently flashing them.

You look up again and they're smiling at you and everything suddenly feels better again as you all climb into bed, resuming your regular positions, just like normal.

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[silentium-symphony]

Book Buddies II (Link x Reader)

(a/n) hello! here is the second chapter of Book Buddies! if you haven't read the first chapter, please click here. i hope you enjoy!

cw: afab!reader, researcher!reader, a nice day out w link :), crowded places, escaping to nature, gentle looks and touches exchanged under the moon, first kiss vibes <3, quickly followed by a steamy makeout session heh

wc: 3.8k

♤♢ ~~ ♡♧

Since that eventful night, Link at the library had grown to become an increasingly common sight. It was like clockwork, really. Sometime after lunch, you can expect to see a mat of blonde poke through the door followed by a pair of bright eyes that would smile when it met yours.

He'd often come by to return a book he had loaned and ask for more recommendations (which you happily supplied). Within a matter of months, the bookish Captain had worked through most of your list and had even shown you some goodies to read. It warmed your heart having a lil' book buddy; you couldn't remember the last time someone was able to keep up with your... fiery discussions of things that have occurred in your books.

Three knocks rapt your door. Your eyes slit open, wincing immediately at the stream of light conveniently placed right on your face. What time was it...?

"Y... Yes? Who is it?" You yawned through your fingers, clawing uselessly at that one itch just out of reach on your back.

"It's Link."

Your senses snapped awake and your head swiveled to your mirror, which proudly displayed the ornate bird's nest growing on the side of your head. You fumbled out of bed, hissed at the cold the wooden floor shot through your feet, and drowsily waddled to your dresser.

"J-Just a second!" You croaked, wincing at your dry throat. One swig of water later, you were combing your hair and slipping on a shirt that was at least better than what you went to bed with. One last look in the mirror and you clicked the thick door open, careful of not slamming it right in your visitor's face.

"Link? What are you doing this early in the morning? I'm trying to sleep..." You whined. All drowsy discomforts took a backseat when you saw the grave expression painted on his face.

"Her Highness told me that I am to be deployed soon..." He trailed off, brows furrowing deeper. "I'm afraid I can't give more details past that."

This wasn't a total surprise, given his occupation and everything, but it was still... numbing to hear. His words bounced around your head as you began to process what that would mean for the two of you. Your world wasn't crashing and burning, sure, but it wouldn't be inaccurate to say that some of the vibrant colors Link injected into your life have begun to drain out. In the end, all you could muster was a quiet,

"... Oh."

"So... Since we may not see each other for a while, would you like to..." He swallowed thickly. "GotoCastleTownwithme?"

"Would I... huh?" You blinked, rubbing your eyes as if that would help you hear better. "I'm sorry, can you say that again?"

He froze, silently recalculating what the odds were of you saying yes, but knowing you wouldn't settle for silence he tried again.

"Would you... Like to go to Castle Town with me?"

Being asked out on a date first thing in the morning was not what you expected when you tumbled out of bed.

By the Captain no less.

You had dreamt of this moment for months and it took every fiber of your being to channel your inner fangirling into a calm, graceful smile. But the moment he left, you knew you were due for a good ol' cathartic scream into your pillow.

"I would love to."

♤♢ ~~ ♡♧

The moment training had wrapped up for the day, he bolted to the gates, giddy to finally have this time with you. He wouldn't admit it aloud, but he had been aching to take you out for a pleasant stroll through town, going through the market's different stalls and showing you his favorite spots to relax. He's not blind to the effects work has on your body and psyche, and he hoped that your stresses could be washed away with these safe spaces the same way it cleansed him.

A flash of (H/C) in a crowd of similarly-dressed scholars bagged his attention and his eyes flitted this way and that. His heart soared seeing your demure figure moving down the steps of Hyrule Castle and one look at him almost got you running.

You waved goodbye to your coworkers and with a hop, skip, and a step, graced your man companion with your presence.

"Hey! Thanks for meeting up with me. Have you been waiting long?"

He shook his head.

"Perfect! Well, ready to go?"

He patted his rupee pouch and gave you a thumbs up. You giggled and waited for the iron gates to be heaved open.

Before long, you were traipsing down the streets of Castle Town, positively glowing. He was just happy to be present with you. He would listen to your latest findings with great interest, listen to whatever book you happened to get your hands on, listen to all your ramblings and random intrusive thoughts you had, and just... Listen. He wasn't much of a talker and you've made it exceptionally clear to him that he could stop you at any point, but he preferred to just listen.

"--and after that, she intentionally rammed her wagon into a tree! Y'know, that was the first time I ever read a book like that. I highly recommend it."

He hummed, his eyes shining like they had just captured heaven's highest stars.

"I've heard," he began slowly, his voice still not used to all the talking he's had to do recently, "from the mill ladies that your friend's favorite author is set to complete her next book in a month or two."

His wriggling eyebrows were immediately met with a jab to the ribs.

"Woah, really?!" A spark of excitement in your eyes lightly contrasted the playful grimace splaying on the Captain's features. "That's--! Um, ahem. I'm sure she'd be very pleased to hear that. I'll let her know... later."

He rolled his eyes and huffed; you laughed, reaching up and messing with his hair. You didn't notice the way he froze or the way he all but stopped breathing, and you definitely didn't notice the heat blooming all throughout his body while your attention was nabbed elsewhere.

"Oh! Can we look at that stall real quick?"

A faint nod and you were already bounding towards an ornately decorated sign that read "Jeweler."

"Hello, hello! Welcome to my humble little shop!" You eyed the... eclectic decor curiously and made a polite smile to the merchant. "Has anything caught your fancy? Everything you see here was painstakingly, artfully crafted by the finest jewelers in all of Hyrule! Some of my own personal works have made their way into this collection, heh..."

You half-listened to the merchant as he droned on and on about how he incurred every item you see before you, and you nodded every now and then to feign acknowledgment. Glimmers of bronze, silver, and gold dazzled you until your head spun. Jewels and stones encrusted in delicate veins of metal swelled your heart with want, but you stayed your hand once your eyes drifted to the tiny numbers set before each piece.

You were a mere researcher of Hyrule, not the king himself.

Realizing this whole shop was way out of your tax bracket, you awkwardly scooted closer toward the exit, making sure to eye everything you saw on your way out for politeness' sake. As you neared freedom and your friend, the most delicate piece of metalwork you had ever laid eyes on locked your gaze in a vice grip.

The dainty necklace's simple, elegant features starkly contrasted with the cacophony of gaudy golds and polished bronze--a mere sliver of the moon in a sea of gold and copper stars that vied for your attention. Your fingers grazed the crescent moon that dangled at the apex of the thin chain while a small, fond smile played at your lips. The three small stars by the celestial body fleshed the necklace into a gorgeous piece that didn't need to have metal bits sticking this way and that to make a statement.

"Ah, you have quite the eye for design! That piece right there was carefully crafted by yours truly! It can be yours today if you so desire!"

Your thoughtful hums turned to disappointment as your eyes once again rested on the price. It was by far one of the most expensive items here and dejection weighed your shoulders.

"Thank you, these truly are gorgeous pieces, but I must be on my way."

You drifted out of the stall and into the streets teeming with life around you. The crowd had gotten noticeably thicker as bodies rammed into you; there was hardly any room to breathe.

"Man, that stall sure was expensive, huh Li-- Link?" Your head whipped this way and that. "Link?!"

Your eyes scanned the conglomerate of bodies crowding about you. The sights, scents, and sensations of Castle Town were increased tenfold and you fought the crowd for respite off to the side. Lightly panting, you immediately went back to scanning the crowd for your lost companion.

"Link! Link!"

How long has it been since you lost him? Where was the last time you even saw him?

That would have been over there...

You threw a weak glance to an arbitrary point on your left, mentally reprimanding yourself for your carelessness. You thought he was right behind you! Did he not follow you to the stall? Did the crowd start picking up when you left? Did he get swept away? He can be anywhere at this point! Gods, now you've abandoned Link on your day out and left him to fend for himself against Castle Town's inhabitants!

A simple tap on your shoulder pulled you from your thoughts and you spun around, almost knocking the both of you off your feet from the way your bodies clashed against the other.

"Link!"

A warm smile adorned his features and he nodded at you. You clasped your hands together and held them up to your chest, shaking slightly.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you like that! I thought you were right behind me, so I just bounded right over to the stall... I'll be more careful next time, I promise!"

He shook his head, that gentle smile not leaving his lips for a second. He offered his hand to you and eyed the crowd. He must be wanting to leave too. You gladly took hold of him and he turned off to the side, lacing between colorful tents and wooden stalls and slipping in and out of the crowd. Your eyes were trained on his figure as he skillfully bobbed and weaved through different bodies, effortlessly leading you through Castle Town.

You eventually rested on his hand, dutifully meshed with your own. You felt your cheeks grow hot and for once, you were relieved to have dozens of hot, sweaty bodies rubbing up against you lest he turn around and wonder why your face was a sweltering red.

You assumed he was making his way back to the castle, but a sudden left down a back alley and a veer off to the right opened into a clearing untouched by the encroaches of civilization. The vast openness of Hyrule Field spread across the horizon, wrapping its infinite plains and forests around your overstimulated self. You filled your lungs with the deepest, crispest breath you ever drew and let out a hefty sigh. The Captain did the same.

"This is so much better than that cramped market. Thanks for getting us outta there."

Turns out he wasn't done escorting you as he led you further into the wilds; the sweet melodies of songbirds and the wind making passage through trees cleansed the jolting bustle of Castle Town from your ears. You saw a clearing up ahead that opened to a grassy, flowery meadow with a crystal lake at its center.

A few steps later, you were washed in the gentle glow of the setting sun; crickets have joined in on nature's nightly symphony in conjunction with the scurry of small mammals rushing through thicket and brush.

After aestheticizing for a moment, he turned to you and his grip on your fingers loosened. You both pulled away, your fingers wrought with the absence of warmth you had been growing accustomed to. Eyes cautiously avoiding each other's gaze found shelter in the gentle swaying of sunlit trees and the long shadows they cast on the grass.

"It's so peaceful here... Do you come here often?"

He 'hmph'ed in confirmation and threw his arms above his head, scraping the sky with his fingertips in a futile effort to rake the stars.

You inched closer to the clear pool and sat down, rolling individual blades of grass and wildflowers between your fingers; your loyal knight followed suit. A comfortable silence fell over the both of you and you gazed dreamily at your semi-quavering surroundings reflected in the lake.

"Thank you for today, Link... It was fun."

The gentlest breeze cooed through your hair, pulling a few strands with it in a lighthearted dance. The sun caught in your quivering lashes and the dimpled smile on your plump lips could only be described as simply divine. Link's throat bobbed up and down and whatever passive thought was drifting through his mind dissipated immediately.

Oh Hylia, you were breathtaking.

He didn't dare look away from your glory, hoping to bask in your soft gaze for as long as you allowed him. His fingers fumbled with his tunic, with the grass, with the hem of his pants, with anything he could get his hands on and you giggled at his restlessness.

"You okay, Cap?"

"... Mm."

A surge of boldness shot through your chest as you found yourself scooting closer to the man. He positioned himself to make way for you until you slotted yourself just inches away from him. His heat radiated onto your skin and you felt your muscles lax out the tension it had been holding.

"I will be leaving soon." He whispered, streaking the serenity with hints of melancholy. "It will be a long and arduous mission far away from here... I do not know when I'll be back."

"... I know." Neither of your gazes met. "I know."

The sun, exhausted from its long journey across the sky, began its customary plummet past the horizon, calling its nightly sister to take its place as the provider of lesser light. The moon’s ascension to the celestial throne was slow and deliberate; the transition of powers brushed the sky with a rich indigo and vibrant marigold, marrying the two hues into perfect harmony. Wispy cirrus and scarlet stratus stood as witnesses to this otherworldly unification of colors, and both of you acted as passive guests to this ritual of dusk and twilight.

"But I'll wait for you." You say at last, turning to him. "No matter how long it takes, I'll always be waiting for you."

Surprised at the resolve in your own voice, your gaze faltered back onto his hands. His warm, calloused, steady hands. Your fingers itched to feel them again, but your still body betrayed your desires to hold and be held. What in the world were you saying? You weren't even his to begin with.

It was Link's turn to look at you now, heart seizing and throat drying. Forlornity tugged the corner of his lip into a somber smile and he moved his face closer to yours. He was close enough to feel your breath hitch (his did as well), and the proximity forced you to look up.

"I'll come back to you. I promise."

Your mind blanked as your arms found the back of his neck, pulling him into a gentle embrace. You kept your contact light--fleeting even, in case he wanted to pull away. But he did no such thing, instead sinking deeper into you and wrapping you up in a pair of muscled arms. Suddenly all the cold, touch-starved nights of longing didn't feel as empty anymore. Suddenly all the pining, all the directionless love you fostered for the other had some place to go. Although you didn't hear those three magical words, his tightening limbs were all the confirmation you needed.

"I have a surprise for you." He murmured into your hair, pulling away slightly. His hands fiddled in his pants pocket and a streak of joy gleamed across his face. "Close your eyes."

You did as you were told, steep in disbelief and excitement that he had actually gotten you something. The image of that necklace from earlier shot across your mind, but you internally scoffed as the price followed shortly after.

Stop kidding yourself, there's no way he would have gotten--

"Open your eyes."

Dangling in front of your face was a thin chain pulled down by a crescent moon and its three starry companions.

"Wait... That's..."

"I saw you looking at it earlier," he rubbed his neck sheepishly, "so I bought it."

"Link, that was hundreds of ru--"

"Don't worry about it." His lips were pulled ear to ear. "Do you like it?"

"I love it!" Happy tears shamelessly leaked from your eyes. "Oh gods Link, I love it!"

You sniveled and trained your eyes on the pretty little thing and Link gently grasped your shoulders to turn you. A pleasant shiver shimmied down your spine as his fingers traced the back of your neck, gingerly pushing your locks out of the way. You pinned it up to aid him further.

Link took his time clasping the accessory around your neck, drinking in the way your bare skin looked in the moonlight. Dedicating the scene in front of him to memory, he hummed and you turned to face him. He never knew how effective a simple piece of metal could be at enhancing your already ethereal qualities; his heart melted and pooled at his feet.

"Beautiful..."

You shrunk under his lovestruck gaze and, in a flurry of millions of racing thoughts all melding together, pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek.

If the man wasn't already reeling, he certainly was now. Every single gear in his head ceased execution; he was wholly at the mercy of your little chortles, your bashful smiles, and batting lashes. Hylia only knows how quickly he would cast himself into the sea should you say the word, or how happily he would steal heaven's brightest luminaries should you desire a matching ring made of the North Star. He stooped closer, practically face-to-face with you.

"May I," he said at last, "have the honor of kissing you?"

His hot breath tickled your cheeks and you found yourself giggling at his endearing politeness.

"Of course."

His face closed in on yours, his breath fanning a deep fire from the skin it touched. Hooded eyes flitted to hot, parted lips and they sank lower as he drew closer; you followed suit, your eyes fluttering closed on your knight's beautiful face. A heated softness pressed tenderly against your lips, melting any and all tension into nothingness. Your lips engaged in a clumsy, heartfelt dance as his lips moved awkwardly, cautiously, lovingly, against your own. Your heart was practically palpitating when you felt a pair of hands sneak onto your face.

He drew back for the briefest of seconds before his lips found yours again and again, each kiss more ravenous than the last. The whine that escaped your wet, parted lips incited something deep within him and his lips connected with yours in a merciless onslaught, leaving your head spinning and your heart wanting more, more, more. A hand fell to the small of your lower back and he drew you closer, your bodies flushed tightly against the other as deeper passions bloomed.

You felt yourself sink lower, lower, lower until the grass tickled the curve of your ear and skilled, battle-worn arms wrapped around you in a way that made you feel like porcelain. His lips moved on from yours and traced the outline of your jawbone with the lightest of movements, leaving a fiery trail in his wake. Your senses were wracked with newfound pleasures, his hands tightening in your own as he found solace in the crook of your neck. He peppered the soft, unmarked skin with butterfly pecks and kisses that thinly veiled his growing desires, suckling the skin just enough to send electricity through your whole body but just short of leaving a beautiful, bluish-purple welt (for he did not know if you wanted to be marked by him just yet). Your moans and sharp breaths intertwined heatedly, scattering your thoughts into a frenzy and numbing, blissful oblivion all at once.

His lips found yours once again, starved and craving for your warmth. One final, deep press into your lips before he pulled away with a pop, pressing his forehead against yours. A deep laugh rumbled in his chest.

"My apologies... It seems I have gotten carried away there..." He closed his eyes, stilling his rapidly beating heart lest it explode in his chest. Gods, he wanted more. More. One look at your pleading eyes almost made him come undone. Lilting lashes and blown-out pupils conveyed all the pent-up desire you've harbored for the man before you. He sucked in a breath and smoothed the mess he made of your hair, smiling tenderly.

"If you would like to continue, perhaps we should head somewhere more... comfortable."

Truthfully, the fact that you were in the literal wilderness may have slipped your mind just now. Your eyes went to scan for any body-shaped outlines hiding among the tree line, suddenly feeling very exposed. He saw the cautious look you shot at the trees and he couldn't help the laugh that spilled out of him.

"Are you shy, love?"

"W-Well it's just...!" Your eyes flew shut, unable to stand Link's teasing gaze any longer.

"Just... what?" His voice and face lowered into your neck. A deep moan thundered against your skin, sending butterflies knocking into your ribcage.

"Don't tease me like that..." Please keep teasing me like that--

A full belly laugh escaped the man. He pressed a quick kiss right at the junction of your shoulder and neck (his new safe space aw) and he pulled away to drink in your embarrassed, pleasured, wrecked expression.

"I've wanted this for so long..." An imperceptible smile bloomed. "Ever since I saw you grimacing at that scroll."

"You saw that?!" You shot back mortified, ears aflame. His hands shot up, waving them back and forth in protest.

"I-It was cute, I promise! I thought... You were so cute when you made that face..."

His slurred mumble made you want to ruffle his hair and hold him close whilst squealing into his chest.

"In fact," he hummed lowly, "it made me wonder what other kinds of faces you can make..."

"LINK!"

[barbie-nightmare-house]

I only got into true detective about a month ago and I'm happy to find people in the same boat; if you don't mind could you share some of the deeper thoughts you've had about the show? Your interpretations/headcanons?

Fuck yes I can, goddamn I'm so excited

First, I think the first and fourth seasons are perfect reflections of one another. If you haven't watched S4, many apologies for spoilers. I highly suggest sucking it through a straw.

I’ve been reading the book Dancing in the Flames: The Dark Goddess in the Transformation of Consciousness by Marion Woodman and Elinor Dickson

In which, the philosophical concepts of self and universal consciousness are analyzed through the framework of the divine masculine and divine feminine. I believe this plays into the themes of both Season 1 and Season 4 of True Detective.

Nic Pizzolatto has expressed that Marty and Rust were written as men he could easily see himself becoming (How I Wrote True Detective - Behind the Curtain, particularly his statement at 3:20), which in essence, is an exploration of how masculinity manifests in different contexts. These are men whose flaws render them incapable of living 'normal' lives, yet enable them to demonstrate bravery in situations where most would not.

There is a lot of gendered discourse around Season 4 that I won't get into. Ultimately, I think it does a wonderful job of presenting the flip-side of the unbalanced masculinity in Season 1 by showing us unbalanced femininity. The women centered in Night Country are imperfect; they struggle with close relationships, with demonstrating faithfulness in relationships, with maternalistic nurturing, with regard for victims, etc.

So, both seasons together really solidified my understanding of the overall story. I'll be using balance, gender, time, and death as the themes here.

There are a few lines in Dancing in the Flames that stuck out to me:

“The psyche, as a self-regulating system, yin and yang in perfect balance, is a vision that historically has yet to be realized. […] In history, as in marriage, or in the individual, when a balance becomes stagnant, one or other of the energies moves out to new adventures. The spurt forces the complimentary energy to move also, until a new balance is found. So the spiral moves.”

It's kind of funny that I picked up this book right after my second rewatch of season 4. I'm big on synchronicities, just seeing shit that plainly ain't there. But here we go,

The imagery presented in Season 1 of True Detective appears to be inspired by some iteration of Cernunnos, a Celtic God of fertility, power, & blessings/weath; "god of beasts and wild places." Further, Cernunnos is the God of the Winter Solstice; the Dark Months (re: the significance of Season 4 Executive producer Mari-Jo Winkler saying, “Let’s look at season one of ‘True Detective.’ Hot, sweaty, male. We wanted to do [the] complete opposite. Dark, Ice, Cold.” in the True Detective: Night Country Podcast). "Cernunnos is the antlered god, part man and part stag. He is born on the darkest day of the year, winter solstice, and marries the goddess of spring, Beltane. About six months later, on summer solstice, he dies.

Among pagans, he is considered the god of fertility, animals, and wealth, and the underworld—sometimes he carries a purse filled with coin, for wealth. This connection to wealth and gold coins is found in the myth about Pluto (Hades), the god of the underworld, from which all wealth comes. Indeed abundance comes from what is deep in the earth and deep in our own psyche.

He is born on winter solstice and dies on summer solstice. This suggests his association with the rise of energy, augmentation, the increasing of light, lengthening of the day and peak experiences. He is a god associated with the potency and power of male sexuality, but not its completeness. Falling on the ground, broken, limp, is just as important an experience of the male psyche as standing erect. Also, the fact that he dies at the peak of light, the second half of the seasonal cycle brings, means that he does not hold the introspective qualities that the harvest brings and the completion of the diminishing of light.

Perhaps Cernunnos is balanced somewhat by his marriage to the goddess of Beltane. She is celebrated in a time when blessing comes from rubbing yourself with the dew of early May morning to soak in the blessing of Spring. Helen Chantler, the designer of our company, remembers watching the horned man in the forest on her BBC television growing up. It was an image that conveyed guardianship and the protector of the forest. Yet this image of the antlered man, so powerfully associated with Celtic myth and lore, has been widely depicted and enacted across indigenous cultures for thousands, or perhaps tens of thousands of years. Iconography of an antlered man, standing, have been found in French Paleolithic cave paintings" (reference).

Full disclosure, I am not learned in Celtic myth or any such topic. I don't know if this was the intended reference material for Season 1's Big Bad Spookiness, but I think thematically, this explains the unexplained in both S1 and S2.

I randomly picked up this book I hadn't yet read, which I bought at random in a used bookstore probably 5 years ago, flipped through, and landed on this picture.

Synchronicities dawg.

Woodman and Dickson have this to say:

"This is Cernunnos, Lord of the Animals. It is Shiva, or Dionysus archetypal energies long repressed by Christianity. Repression turned the Horned God into the Horned Devil, the root of all evil. [...] The Horned Devil is energy that is so repressed and cut off from the earth that it is best symbolized by Mephistopheles, the light and airy creature that floats above the earth. The Horned Devil is the disembodied spirit that manipulates, usurping situations for the gratification of its instinctual desires for domination-- sexual or otherwise. The Horned God, as Gary Lingen points out '...is a positive model for male power--free from the patriarchy and all other authoritative models--as he grows and passes through his changes during the wheel of the year, he remains in relationship to and not separate from the prime life and nurturing force--the Goddess.'

The Horned God, moreover, is an archetypal figure quite unlike most masculine images as they appear in culture. He is difficult to understand because he does not fit into any of the expected stereotypes, neither those of the "macho" male nor the reverse-images of those who deliberately seek effeminacy. He is gentle, tender and comforting, but he is also the Hunter. He is the Dying God--but his death is always in service of the life force. He is untamed sexuality--but sexuality as a deep, holy, connecting power. He is the power of feeling, and the image of what men could be if they were liberated from the constraints of patriarchal culture."

It's possible that Pizzolatto merely modeled the Big Bad Spooky Scary in Season 1 with paganistic imagery for fearmongering purposes, but I choose to believe that Childress, the Tuttles, and unnamed counterparts were worshippers of some bastardized version of Cernunnos.

It is indicated many times in both S1 and S2 that symbology associated with the murders is 'old', 'archaic', and looks like cave drawings. I believe the nature of the belief system associated with the Big Bad is transactional, given that it precedes Semitic religions.

What do you pray for when your primary goal is to live another day? You pray for abundant harvest, you pray for fertility, you pray for the sun to return.

What do you pray for when society becomes more collective? You pray for a bigger hut than the next guy, you pray for blessings.

What do you pray for when buildings scrape the sky? You pray for wealth, you pray for power.

I think the Tuttles and their counterparts belonged to a small group of worshippers who retained archaic beliefs and practices, which they attributed to the wealth or power their group amassed. Thus, they continued worshipping.

However, we only see the masculine aspects of this worship in Season 1. We see the vulnerable (women and children) victimized by physically and/or socially powerful men. We see this vulnerability overpowered through ritualistic abuses and murders, which demonstrates that the Big Bad have devolved to, or perhaps have always been, negligent of the inherent role of the divine feminine (Beltane, in this case, as the counterpart to Cernunnos). Thus, the Tuttles represent unbalanced masculinity, where they seek to overpower others in the name of worship. In reality, they are simply indulging in animalistic, individual desires. Truly, they may be neglecting and/or attempting to dominate the divine feminine out of innate fear.

"What is the way to appease the Great Mother, to keep her as Protectress and prevent her wrathful Vengeance? Give her what she demands-- blood! And likewise, invent a precise way to do it-- ritual! Thus, the first great ritual was a ritual of blood sacrifice, offered to the Great Mother-- to Mother Nature-- in a bartered attempt to quench her desire for blood. [...] Blood is indeed bodily life, and if you want to purchase life, you purchase it with blood. So goes paleologic; like magic, it works in partial truths; and like magic, since it is unable to grasp higher perspectives or wider contexts, it arrives at barbaric conclusions." - Marie-Louise Von Franz, Golden Ass of Apuleius: The Liberation of the Feminine in Man

Whatever, I won't get distracted by analyzing the psyche of side character antagonists. I won't! What I'm trying to say is:

They're worshipping an old religion, which requires blood sacrifice. This blood may be literal (murder), or symbolic (sexually abusing the innocent, i.e. symbolic blood of menstruation or deflowering).

As with all things, there is no inherent evil in worship, but this manner of worship represents a stark lack of balance. These are not praying men-- these are men attempting to manipulate nature, life/death, and femininity to their egoistic desires. Thus, they create imbalance.

This imbalance, in True Detective, is a microcosm representing greater imbalances of energy. Imbalance in society, in the universe, and in individuals. We are shown this lack of balance through complex characters.

Two characters, specifically, show us the energy required to correct universal balance; Rustin Cohle and Evangeline Siqiññaatchiaq Navarro.

I also won't get into the Messiah archetypes of these characters. I won't (I probably will).

This fucking long form analysis is going to be a bitch to read and is also a bitch to write, I'm struggling to collect my thoughts well enough to not communicate like we're playing Word Associations.

Okay. So. Rust = Divine Masculine. Evangeline = Divine Feminine. Hold onto that for later.

In the Southern states of America, such as Louisiana where the Tuttles have historical roots, power and wealth are generally understood as God’s Blessings. The Christian God. Which explains why the Tuttles used Christianity as a mask for their true beliefs and practices. Additionally, the immutable power of organized religion allowed the Tuttles and their associates access to vulnerable individuals to prey upon.

While the Tuttles practiced their underlying beliefs in secret, I believe Errol Childress’s murder of Dora Lange indicated his sentiments of rejection from his bloodline. Where the proper Tuttles secured social and financial power, Errol was essentially a grunt, despite enabling and participating in the ritualistic abuse and murder. He might have developed a coping mechanism of believing himself a profit. Frustrated that in the ‘real world’ the power and virility he exercised in private was not respected, he made a ‘show’ of Dora Lange’s murder. This could have been motivated by the following: - A rejection of the Tuttles secretiveness. We should be proud of our practices. Look, we’re untouchable. I won’t live in the shadows

A warning or punishment of the Tuttles. By displaying his practices proudly through Dora Lange’s presentation, Errol Childress places the Tuttles at risk for exposure. 

A personal demonstration of elevated dedication to his ‘god’, i.e., an attempt to prove he is more faithful than those who practice in secret. Errol was showing the world his power. 

I believe the Tuttle’s practice of murdering and abusing innocents in the name of a, conceivably, pagan god, is due to a bastardized interpretation of the god’s power and purpose. If we consider that Cernunnos alone is the divine masculine, incomplete/imbalanced without the feminine counterpart, we see the space where men may lean into this lack of balance as an opportunity to enforce patriarchal dominance over the divine feminine. By abusing the divine feminine (women and children), the interpretation of Cernunnos becomes a rat-race of man’s most basic pursuits; power, wealth, and death. They lord over the divine feminine by sacrificing its counterparts (women and children) to Cernunnos. In a patriarchal interpretation (cisgender, heterosexual) of nature, men cannot create as women can, so the most they can achieve in the way of god power is taking life. 

Then comes the spiral. In the first season, it appeared to be representative of the Nietzschean circular time theme. Given the events of Season 4 as a continuation of the spiral imagery, I have deduced that the S1 spiral is another perversion of old beliefs that the Tuttles have bastardized.

Rather than being a symbol of Cernunnos (real quick: peep Cernunnos vs. Carcosa?? 'He who eats time?' and absolutely chooooke on this interpretation) I believe the spiral represents his ‘wife’ or divine feminine counterpart– Spring. Or rather, Life. And thus, She is Time itself. The Tuttles pray to something that, again, EATS TIME. I'm sorry I keep saying this, but they only worship half of nature. It's a perversion. It's wrong. It's empty. S4 gives us the other half of the story.

In Season 4, the supernatural force, or ‘god’ is referred to with feminine pronouns: ‘She is awake, she is coming, she is here’. More on this later, but I think the spiral represents a larger concept than Cernunnos/Carcosa; Balance. Eternity. The Universe. I believed initially that the spiral was jagged, as opposed to the ‘perfect’ golden ratio, because it would have been carved or drawn with rudimentary objects by prehistoric humans. Looking at the galaxy in which earth exists (and others like it)-- I mean :/ I'm no science guy, but... come on now.

(cr. NASA / STScI)

(cr. Gabriel Pérez Díaz, SMM (IAC).)

(cr. Fibbonacci.com)

COME ON NOW.

Back to Cernunnos, he is the god of Darkness, and dies when Spring comes. However, he and his divine feminine counterpart never cease existing. They are married; opposite sides of a coin, constantly flipping; inextricably bonded. They are the same thing—and separate—and the same; flat time. (Side note: also found out the universe itself is 'flat' to our perception. I'm absolutely wrecked by this)

As Rust says, “Time created Death to grow the things it would kill.” So, from hereon, I will refer to Cernunnos’s counterpart, represented by the spiral symbol, as Time.

She is the spring, where life grows. In Season 4, we may assume that she eats in the winter. Despite the spooky Big Bad, overcoming evil, vibe of Season 4, it’s important to note that there is no inherent good or evil in the universe. There's just balance. While Navarro refers to the supernatural force as a “curse” that takes her people one by one, we must acknowledge that Death is the certainty of Life. Both states are suspended within time. Circular. Cyclical. Spinning. A spiral.

Ennis is a land of extremes, where Time and Existence appear to be a more ancient/raw form (prehistoric ice and such, significance of magnetic poles, idk I'm not a science guy).

As Time’s presence in Ennis is generally acknowledged by the indigenous people, it could stand that the descendants of those who existed on this land in prehistoric times would have a more innate connection to Time. On that land, where Time has more power, occurrences such as “the dead don’t stay dead” implicates that the laws of humanity are bent in favor of the unknowable reality of time. 

Whereas the Tuttle’s represent unbalanced patriarchal masculinity, i.e., acknowledging ‘old gods’ and worshiping them for self-serving gain, demonstrated by their social powers and abuses– the Iñupiaq people exhibit instinctual balance and reverence for the old ways.

The Tuttles and counterparts mark victims with the spiral, almost as if to attract the acknowledgement of their god, whereas the Iñupiaq people mark the spiral as a warning of her presence. It is stated that ‘she’ exists where the ice is thin over the sea. To me, this indicates that ‘she’ is somewhat synonymous with the sea, or the ground beneath it, as, in the prehistoric time (where her power would be more observable) the water level would've been lower (idk, I'm not a science guy). Basically, I think ‘she is awake’ indicates that she has gone dormant/is hibernating under the ice.

Thus, Time calls the Iñupiaq to areas of thin ice in order to ‘eat’ them. This practice is representative of a balance. She is existence in perfect balance. She is life and death. In her presence, time becomes nonlinear (i.e., the visions experienced by the characters in S4). Time becomes a flat circle.

The Tuttles presence in Ennis via the mine has disrupted the circle. The softening of permafrost due to the mine's pollution has both awoken her, and disrupted the balance of her domain. Life and Death. Rather than taking her justified ‘fill’ of the dead, pollution has caused an unnatural rise in deaths, exampled by the stillbirths. The Iñupiaq stillbirths represent the inherent interruption of natural course. Thus, she is not just awoken, but angered. She's PISSED.

This explains why the events in Season 4 unfold as they do. In the last episode, an Iñupiaq auntie explains that ‘she (Time)’ was responsible for taking the Tsalal men or releasing them. She chose to take them, and ‘eat their fucking dreams’.

This statement reminded me of the theme of dreaming in Season 1. A theoretical physicist, Fred Alan Wolf, claims that “dreaming is vital to our survival as a species and a necessary ‘learning laboratory’ wherein the self and the universe evolve. In brief, matter evolves through dreams.” In the book Dancing in the Flames: The Dark Goddess in the Transformation of Divine Consciousness, “the unknowable mystery we sometimes call God” can only be understood through finding individual and communal balance, which is historically and presently impossible due to patriarchal systems.

The significance of this, I think, is the overarching theme in both seasons: Time as an insurmountable force that weighs on the characters. Past, present, future are flattened and defined by suffering. We see the mostly faceless antagonists attempt to gain unnatural power over time– in Season 1, the Tuttles (and their counterparts) actions implicate a desire of procuring power and wealth through sacrificing innocent youth (balanced time), and in Season 4, they are searching for a microorganism that could provide insight into immortality, or at least further their material wealth and power– ultimately creating the imbalance of essential, unknowable truths: Time, Life, Death, and Dreaming. We also see the protagonists struggle under the weight of Time in a more intimate, consumable capacity.

The imbalance of energies is a human fault. This human fault, likely, has no true power in the universe. It is simply a disruptor, which will ultimately be self-corrected, as “the spiral moves.”

We see this correction in the form of an unlikely savior. In Season 1, this is Rust. In season 4, this is Navarro. They are both plagued with an undefined but obviously overwhelming burden of Time, and an innate connection to the unknowable.

While neither understands how or why, they have been called to a life which seems to deny human nature. Isolation, reluctant power (being a fuckin cop), and the responsibility of bearing witness to the soul-crushing examples of human failure. However, their actions and insight are ultimately the antithesis of the antagonists perversions of Life and Death. Both Rust and Navarro, though somewhat unwillingly, are called on to correct Time.

Their circular patterns become enlightened. They prevail. They balance the divine masculine and divine feminine.

I think this is most apparent in Navarro’s character arc. Particularly her statements, and the many examples of her being ‘called’ by Time. Her displacement from the community of people who share her blood, and thus her connection to the land, is significant because it has potentially inspired her to become a protector. With the social power of law enforcement, and the dual-perspective of those who perpetuate disbalance of time (cops, who ultimately are tools for high-level antagonists like the Tuttles), and those who keep it (the indigenous people), she is the perfect blend of energies to correct the balance. I think she was beckoned back to the land by Time specifically, (evidenced by her visions, like “listen”), with divine purpose. Her Inupiaq name meaning the sun’s return from darkness in itself is evidence of that. Her compassion for Annie K. has greater implications on the story than our understanding of justice. 

If she was called to the land by Time, presented with the murder of Annie K. as motivation to expose Tsalal, thus exposing the mine, and ultimately the Tuttles, Navarro restores the balance of Life and Death, and ultimately Time, to the land. Her personal journey reflects the initial disbalance, the unknowable forces at play, and ultimately the correction of both. She encompasses universal truths.

God calls from places where the ice is thin.

God is talking to Evangeline directly.

In the spiritual statements that tell Evangeline to “listen”, as well as the many visions in which an individual (conceivably possessed by spiritual forces) points at her, God orders her to bear witness, which is also the purpose that Rust Cohle assigned to his existence in Season 1.

Like Moses and the burning FUCKING bush, Evangeline is plagued with visions; and is called to carry the burden of guiding others into the light. 

As Rust said in the first season, “it’s the oldest story there is. Light vs. Dark” and “if you ask me, light is winning.”

Okay, that's all I have for right now. Sorry for using this as my excuse to go apeshit in the way I've been meaning to for weeks. If you'd like specific character headcanons or anything, let me know! Rust Cohle rents an apartment in my head and it fucking stinks in there.

[archetypesanalysis]

Why I believe Tech is alive

For this analysis, I will be referring to “Goddesses in Everywoman” and “Gods in Everyman” by Jean Shinoda Bolen. I will be talking about the Bad Batch Season 3 Celebration Europe trailer and the official Season 3 trailer. I will also refer to the titles of Season 3 episodes for this analysis. I will make some predictions for Season 3, so if you do not want to read into it, you can just scroll away.

We know the traumatising scene in “Plan 99” – Tech severs the connection between the cable cars and he falls. Hunter, Echo, Wrecker and Omega mourn for their fallen brother. However, many fans believe that Tech is alive, and he will return in season 3. I am one of those people. After watching the Season 2 finale, I mourn for the loss, but I also want to cling onto any possible hints that he is alive. With that, I delve deeper into archetypal psychology (while I was ill at that time), and I have discovered many interesting clues that make me believe that Tech is alive.

To the people who do not believe that Tech is alive and do not want him to return in Season 3 due to personal reasonings like finding meaning in death and dealing with grief, I understand and respect all your opinions. I just do not like the excuses of “we need more suffering” or “I like suffering” to “justify” why Tech should not come back in Season 3.

With that said, I am mainly using my understanding of archetypal psychology to explain why I believe Tech is alive. Some points have been discussed in my analysis of the 3 seasons, but I am going to expand these points here.

1. Voluntary descent into the Underworld

In the myths, most people descend into the Underworld involuntarily. This is done either through death or abduction. In psychological terms, people involuntarily descend into the Underworld when they go through a traumatic experience, or they lose meaning, hope or purpose in life. However, there are myths where people descend into the Underworld voluntarily.

Some heroes take on this journey with love as their motivation. In the myth of Eros and Psyche, Aphrodite ordered Psyche to enter the Underworld with a small box for Persephone to fill it with beauty ointment. This was Psyche’s fourth and final task that she must do if she wanted to reunite with her husband Eros. In the myth of Orpheus, he went to Hades seeking his dead wife Eurydice. In one myth of Dionysus, he entered the Underworld to resurrect his dead mother Semele.  Besides love, some heroes are motivated by wisdom. In the myth of Odysseus, he ventured into the Underworld to seek help from a blind seer named Tiresias, so he could find his way home. In Roman mythology Aeneid, Aeneas entered the Underworld to seek the shade of his father, and he had a prophetic vision of Rome’s destiny. The journey to the Underworld is part of a heroic task. For example, in Greek mythology, the twelfth and final labour of Heracles was to capture and bring Cerberus, the three-headed dog that guards the gates of the Underworld. He was able to overpower the beast with his bare hands and bring it out of the Underworld, thus completing his twelve labours.

By enacting Plan 99, Tech voluntarily descends into the Underworld – and he is the only one to do so in Season 2. Meanwhile, the rest of the Bad Batch involuntarily descend into the Underworld through grief or abduction. Tech’s sacrifice is described as “heroic” and “intentional”, which are keywords for a voluntary descend into the Underworld. Besides, Tech is motivated by love and wisdom as he makes this descent. He wants to seek out information about the whereabouts of Crosshair and Omega, so they can finally reunite with Hunter, Wrecker and Echo.

However, voluntary descents are done at great risks for there is no guarantee of a safe return. As Tech voluntarily descends into the Underworld, his fate becomes uncertain, which will explain why ambiguous wordings are used to describe his fate: “he’s gone”, “he’s not coming back in this episode at least”, “sort of sacrifices himself”, “my life as a soldier has come to an end”, “it’s kind of a loss, it’s complicated (with averted eyes)”, “plummeted out of sight”, etc.

2. Broken goggles indicate dismemberment

As the Bad Batch mourns for their loss, Dr. Hemlock arrives to capture them. He throws a pair of Tech’s broken goggles to Hunter, saying that this is the only thing they could salvage from the wreckage. Judging from the state of the goggles, it seems that the goggles were smashed on impact and were later removed. Moreover, some fans see this as mirroring the last time we saw Echo after his apparent death in the Citadel, in which we saw Echo’s charred helmet being left behind.

The goggles have always been a part of Tech’s identity. He is the most recognizable for wearing it. Cid even gives him the nickname “Goggles”. Besides the goggles, his eyes also formed part of his identity. When Phee first meets Tech, she calls him “Brown Eyes”, hinting that she is drawn to his eyes despite all clones have brown eyes. Losing the goggles means that Tech has lost part of his identity, which is a form of psychological dismemberment. In Jungian psychology, anything that has been “dismembered” is thrown into the Underworld and it becomes part of our Shadow, which consists the parts we have deemed as unacceptable, shameful or even traumatic. I have seen fanarts about Tech being alive but he loses his sight, which can be considered as a form of physical and psychological dismemberment.

We have seen 3D models of Tech without his goggles, and he looks different from his usual look. When he wears the goggles, he looks friendly and approachable. Without the goggles, he looks serious and intimidating. We know that the goggles records everything, and in addition to giving Tech a friendly and approachable look, it enables him to get close to anyone and gather vital information. This is useful most of the time, especially during the Clone Wars as Tech acts as the bridge between Clone Force 99 and other people. However, this will become difficult during the rise of the Empire as the galaxy becomes more dangerous. A friendly look will likely draw unnecessary attention and people are more likely to pick on you. This may have been a problem for Tech in some mercenary jobs. For example, when Phee brings the Bad Batch to a cantina to purchase an artifact, Tech stays in the Marauder to provide them a getaway. I think Tech being assigned to this role is not just due to his piloting skills, but the fact that he looks “too friendly” to blend in with the crowd that mostly has questionable morals. Instead, Hunter and Wrecker are chosen as Phee’s muscle as they can blend in with the crowd so Lanse Crowder and his henchmen will let their guard down (as for Omega, she acts as Phee’s young apprentice).

If Tech needs to sneak in and acquire confidential Imperial files, an intimidating look will help. Without his goggles, Tech can easily take on the serious and intimidating look to blend it with the Imperials and/or scare off the low-level Imperials. This new look can also be useful for Tech to blend in with pirates, smugglers, mercenaries and bounty hunters – to show that he is someone you should not mess with.

I do believe that we may see Tech taking on a different look (and a different identity) in Season 3. I once imagined his new appearance to resemble a figure wearing black armour (quite similar to the one shown in the official Season 3 trailer). His different look may indicate that “the old friendly Tech is gone”, but this does not necessarily mean that Tech will be brainwashed by Hemlock and become a clone assassin. It will just mean that he has to suppress his friendly side in order to find Crosshair and Omega.

3. Tech’s archetype combination: Hades, Hermes and Athena

In my two-part character analysis of Tech (innate archetype and anima), I identify Tech to have three main archetypes: Hades (the God of the Underworld), Hermes (the Messenger God) and Athena (the Goddess of Wisdom).

Since Tech is innately Hades, this means that he is used to the Underworld as his exceptional mind already serves as his Underworld. Based on the footage shown in the Celebration Europe trailer and the official Season 3 trailer, I can see that each member of the Bad Batch is in their own versions of the Underworld: Hunter is loss of purpose, Echo is loneliness, Wrecker is monsters, Omega is abduction, and Crosshair is hopelessness. This leaves me a question: what is Tech’s Underworld? The answer is… I do not really know. His mind already resembles the Underworld and he can easily spend long hours by himself – as if he is familiar with this dark and mysterious territory. If you try to subject Tech with the Underworlds experienced by other members of the Bad Batch, he will most probably be unaffected by it. He is probably aware of these aspects of the Underworld, and he is not afraid to face them. Since the writers intended to bring the Bad Batch into the Underworld and keep them there for some time by the Season 2 finale, it would explain why they had to take Tech out of the picture. Tech would have made their journeys to the Underworld at least bearable and he would have brought them out of their dark places quickly. Without Tech, the Bad Batch would have to struggle for months (since there is a time jump hinted in the trailers). Moreover, Tech’s disappearance resembles Hades wearing the cap of invisibility – Tech has become Hades the Unseen One, “invisible” to everyone.

As Athena, Tech is a powerful strategist that gears towards practicality and pragmatism, which enables him to get an upper hand over his enemies. His craftiness and emotional distance can lead him to “do whatever it works” to accomplish his goals or defeat his enemies. With this in mind, I believe that Tech already has a strategy in mind when he decides to enact Plan 99. Although he is well-aware that his action will hurt his teammates, he does it because “it is the only way” he can succeed in his mission of finding Crosshair (and later Omega). In Greek mythology, Athena is the ally and guide of many heroes. When Heracles is tasked to capture Cerberus, Athena and Hermes act as his guides to the Underworld, helping him to complete his final labour. In orphic theology, Athena is depicted as a rescuer of Dionysus, the God of Wine and Ecstasy. In this myth, she managed to save the heart of the infant Dionysus that had been torn into pieces. She then gave the heart to Zeus, who sewed it to his own thigh, allowing Dionysus to be reborn. By taking these two myths into consideration, Tech takes on the guide and rescuer of the Bad Batch, who are heroes.

Among his archetypes, I find that Hermes is the strongest in Tech. As the messenger, Tech can easily travel through different places to gather information, just like Hermes who can swiftly travel between Olympus, earth and the Underworld. As the trickster, Tech can sneak around, make an escape, steal data, hack into machinery and break through confidential files with ease. As the alchemist, Tech can create new things and strategies to help him and his teammates.

Hermes is known to be the guide of souls and the rescuer of the child. As a psychopomp, he accompanies the souls of the dead to the Underworld (psychologically, he is the archetype that helps people during significant life transitions). In his myths, Hermes has rescued Ares who was trapped in the bronze jar, has brought Persephone out of the Underworld, and has saved Dionysus at least twice. These two roles have been present in Tech since his first appearance. It is highly likely that these roles would become more prominent in Season 3. I believe that Tech would lead Hunter, Echo and Wrecker to rescue Crosshair and Omega. Once the team is reunited, Tech would become the guide of souls as he helps the Bad Batch (and himself) to find meaning in their sufferings, to integrate all aspects of themselves, and to be transformed by their journeys to the Underworld: Hunter would learn to embrace human seasonal changes and become a hero; Echo would learn to become more assertive and be unafraid to revisit his trauma; Wrecker would learn to think before he acts; Crosshair would learn to be vulnerable and let love be his motivator; Omega would become more mature and assertive as she guides others through dark times; and Tech would learn to be more in touch with his emotions.

According to Jean Shinoda Bolen, Hermes has the innate potential to become a guide of souls and a seeker of meaning. This potential can be unleashed by venturing down into the depths of the Underworld, which will lead a person to undergo a spiritual evolution. They will gain valuable insight from this journey and will return to pass down what they have learned. This is similar to Hermes bringing Persephone (the soul) out of the Underworld and back to her mother Demeter. This myth became the basis for the Eleusinian Mysteries, which was the most sacred and important religious rituals of Ancient Greece that celebrated the return of Persephone from the Underworld. The ancients believed that those who were initiated into the mysteries would gain a reason to live in joy and die without fearing death.

In Season 1, Tech is more focused on monetary gains to support the Bad Batch after they defect from the Empire. They start to work for Cid by taking up mercenary jobs. For example, in “Rampage”, the Bad Batch is tasked to rescue Muchi from Zygerrian slave traders, which is the right thing to do, and according to Tech, they can earn a decent amount of credits. In “War-Mantle”, when the team discusses whether they should deviate from their job and rescue Gregor, Tech reminds them that Cid will not compensate them if they choose to deviate, and they will go hungry without the money to buy food.

I believe Season 2 is when Tech starts to undergo a spiritual evolution. In “Spoils of War”, the Bad Batch agrees to Cid’s promise to free them from their debts if they succeed in retrieving one of Count Dooku’s war chests. Although Tech’s left femur is fractured during the mission, he is determined to retrieve the war chest and use the fortune for the team’s benefit. However, I believe Tech’s meeting with Romar is what changes him, which initiates his spiritual evolution. Romar has survived the bombardment of Serenno City, and he now lives in the woods alone. He is not interested in Dooku’s war chests, and instead, he is more interested in persevering his Serennian culture, which gives him meaning in life. When Tech manages to fix the datacore and restore data about Serennian culture, Romar is overjoyed because his life now has meaning once more – as if his soul is rescued from the Underworld. This may have initiated him into the Eleusinian Mysteries, giving him the reason to continue living in joy and gaining the bravery to help Tech and Echo to find Omega before the Imperials do. Before the Bad Batch leaves, Romar tells Tech that he is staying behind as he is a survivor, which seems to have impacted Tech. I believe that Romar has acted as a wise elder that sends Tech on the spiritual journey, making him realize that helping others is more meaningful than carrying out mercenary jobs to make ends meet. Even though Tech gains nothing from helping Romar, he finds it meaningful.

However, Tech is not as vocal as Echo because of his loyalty to Hunter (motivated by his Athena anima). Hunter wants the team to lay low and not get involved in the fight against the Empire. Tech knows Hunter has the team’s best interest in mind, so he does not object. Though, it is possible that Tech is starting to become frustrated. In “Faster”, Tech complains to Cid that giving Hunter and Echo the job to deliver 50 cases of nerf nuggets is a waste of their skills and talents. He also does not want to follow Cid for another mission, but he goes for it because of Wrecker and Omega. When they must win the race to free Cid and her debt to Millegi, Tech reminds Wrecker and Omega that Cid’s dealings with individuals of questionable integrity have caused her to repeatedly use the Bad Batch to solve her problems, which has become a problematic pattern. It does seem that Tech is starting to get tired of Cid and he begins to find this current life as meaningless. He probably wants more of this life but he cannot.

After Echo leaves the Bad Batch, Tech turns all of his energy to work, which is his way of dealing with the loss. I also believe that Tech becomes intensely focused on work because he is determined to fully pay off the team’s debt so they can be free and do whatever they want in life. Since Echo leaves to join Rex’s resistance network, which gives him meaning in life, Tech may have become more motivated to achieve that goal for the Bad Batch (and himself). However, by focusing intensely on work, Tech has become emotionally withdrawn, which leads to tensions and misunderstandings. In “The Crossing”, Omega thinks that Tech is unbothered by Echo’s absence and that he is unsympathetic towards her grief. When Tech realizes that his intense emotional withdrawal has inadvertently hurt his loved ones, he learns to understand himself better and learns to grow.

In “Retrieval”, the Bad Batch goes to retrieve the stolen Marauder in Mokko’s factory. Tech points out that Mokko appears to be using his power and means as a leverage over his workers, which consist of adolescent miners. He finds Mokko’s operation to be similar to the Empire. After the Bad Batch manages to free the miners from Mokko’s oppressive rule, Omega realizes that there are other threats besides the Empire. Tech reassures her that there are many good people out there like them. Their actions of liberating the miners have helped them to reconnect with their souls – they once again find what gives them meaning in life.

Since Cid refuses to help the Bad Batch after they lost the Marauder during the mission to acquire ipsium, the team begins to keep a distance from her. They probably begin to feel that Cid is taking advantage of them and she would never release them from their debts. In “Metamorphosis”, when Cid provides intel about a downed ship that they can scavenge for parts, the team demands a higher share of the cut and threatens to not return. Tech knows that their agreement with Cid is not mutually beneficial, but they cannot sever ties so easily because Cid knows compromising information about them. Hence, Tech proposes to treat this mission as their last for Cid – which means they are going for a strike. Perhaps Tech hopes that the strike can teach Cid a lesson, and it can give the Bad Batch alternative options to earn credits like working with Phee.

It does seem that all goes well once the Bad Batch teams up with Phee – they are taking on more meaningful jobs (which involve retrieving artifacts that are mostly culturally significant to the people on Pabu), and they now have the option to stay permanently on Pabu. However, in “Tipping Point”, Tech realizes that Crosshair is being held captive by Dr. Hemlock and that Crosshair has sent Plan 88 to warn them that they have been targeted by the Empire. Tech now probably realizes the severity of the situation faced by the Bad Batch. He is probably well-prepared for the possibility that he has to carry out Plan 99 if anything goes wrong. Surprisingly, Plan 88 is called “The Seeker”, which makes me believe that this serves as an initiation for Tech to become Hermes the Seeker of Meaning. After all, Tech is now motivated to seek out Hemlock and his base in order to find Crosshair.

When the mission to Eriadu goes horribly wrong, Tech realizes that he must venture down into the Underworld (the Empire) so he can seek access to the mysteries hidden in the forbidden depths of the Empire (since the location and purpose of the Advanced Science Division led by Hemlock are hidden). With that, Tech carries out Plan 99, which is equivalent to him being initiated into the Eleusinian Mysteries as he “no longer fears death”. Before Heracles descended into the Underworld to capture Cerberus as his twelfth and final labour, he was initiated into the Eleusinian Mysteries to ensure that he would be able to safely return. He was also accompanied by Hermes and Athena on his journey. Since Tech is innately Hades, he is no stranger to the depths of the Underworld. Moreover, his Hermes and Athena archetypes are powerful enough to act as his guides to the Underworld. With that, it is highly possible that Tech survives the fall as he undergoes a full spiritual evolution, and he would return wiser than ever in Season 3.

4. The Abduction of Persephone: Hecate, Helios and Hermes

In the Greek myth, Persephone was kidnapped by Hades with the approval given by her father Zeus. Her mother Demeter heard echoes of her cries and rushed to find her. Demeter spent 9 days and 9 nights searching for Persephone across the earth (Coincidentally, 9 days and 9 nights can sound like 99 – Clone Force 99, Plan 99). At dawn on the tenth day, Demeter met Hecate, the Goddess of the Dark Moon, Crossroads, Witchcraft and Ghosts. Hecate told Demeter that she had heard Persephone screaming for help but did not know what happened to her. She suggested that they both go to Helios, the God of the Sun who shared this title with Apollo. Helios, who had witnessed the incident, told Demeter what had happened. Feeling betrayed and grief-stricken, Demeter ceased functioning as the Goddess of Grain, plunging the earth into an eternal winter that threatened to wipe out the human race. No gifts or honours could appease Demeter as she made it clear that she would not allow anything to grow until Persephone was returned to her. Zeus finally gave in and sent Hermes to bring Persephone out of the Underworld and restored her to Demeter. After the mother and daughter reunited, Demeter restored fertility and growth to the earth.

At the end of “Metamorphosis”, Lama Su (Zeus) tells Dr. Hemlock (Hades) that he needs to capture Omega (Persephone) if he wants to control Nala Se (Demeter – though not as strong as Hunter) and force her to carry out a project for the Empire. At the end of “Plan 99”, Hemlock successfully kidnaps Omega, and Hunter (Demeter) is too late to stop him. Despite not knowing where Omega is taken to, Hunter is determined to get her back and he will not stop searching for her. Since the trailers show Omega’s hair has grown longer to resemble Emerie’s hairstyle, and that Hunter’s hair has also grown slightly longer, this means that Hunter has sent months searching for Omega. His armour becoming more worn out with colours fading away indicates that he has not stopped to rest in his frantic search for he does not want Omega to wait for another day – like Demeter did not eat, sleep or bathe as she searched for Persephone.

In the Celebration Europe trailer, Rex tells Hunter “That kid (referring to Omega) may be the key to whatever is happening on Mount Tantiss”. I believe this scene is from “A Different Approach”. We know that anything about Mount Tantiss and its experiments are confidential. When the ships heading to Mount Tantiss encounter problems such as extensive damage of the ship or hijacking, the Imperials will erase the databanks to prevent anyone from discovering the destination and the purposes of the experiments. The Imperials will also commit suicide, taking all confidential information to their graves. The databanks are also heavily encrypted, which provides extra protection for anyone who manages to retrieve them before deletion.

Based on Rex’s sentence, it seems that someone has provided him the information about Mount Tantiss and the experiments being conducted there. However, Rex only suspects that Omega may be related to the experiments on Mount Tantiss – which means they are still uncertain about her precise location (even though the audience knows that she is there). So, who could have sent such confidential information to Rex? I do not think it is Scorch or Emerie because if it was either one of them, they would have confirmed that Omega is on Mount Tantiss. Perhaps it could be one of the undercover clones working for Rex’s resistance network? It is possible, but any information about the Advanced Science Division (Hemlock, Mount Tantiss, cloning experiments, clone prisoners) are heavily encrypted and Hemlock is certain that nobody can break through these safeguards. However, there is one person proven to have the capability to do so – Tech.

I believe that Tech would take on the roles of Hecate, Helios and Hermes. As the Goddess and Protector of the entranceways, Hecate was worshipped in ancient Athens as a protector of the household, alongside Zeus, Hestia, Hermes and Apollo. In Hesiod’s Theogony, she was depicted as a goddess of great honour with domains in sky, earth and sea. By the fifth century BCE, she has taken on a darker depiction as the Goddess of Witchcraft, Ghosts and the Dark Moon. Some sources represented her as the guardian of the gates to the Underworld, or as the keeper of keys to the Underworld. As the Goddess of the Crossroads, she took the form of a triple-goddess or a triple-faced goddess. Due to her association with being ‘between’, she is depicted as a “liminal” goddess that has the ability to cross from the Underworld to the physical world with ease. She also acted as a mediator between the Olympians and Titans, and between the mortals and the divine. Her liminal role is reflected in a number of her cult titles: Apotropaia (that turns away or protects); Enodia (on the way); Propulaia/Propylaia (before the gate); Triodia/Trioditis (who frequents crossroads); Klêidouchos (holding the keys).

Tech may have taken the role of Hecate when he finds out that Crosshair is being held captive by Hemlock but he does not know where Crosshair is. This sends him on a journey to find him. It is possible that Tech would have come to know that Omega has been kidnapped by Hemlock. This would push him further to locate them. Like Hecate, Tech would stand on the crossroads between the Empire, the pirates and smugglers, and Rex’s resistance network. He would sneak into the Empire (the Underworld) to find any information regarding Hemlock and the Advanced Science Division, and then he would send that information to Rex, who would later inform Hunter about it. I believe that Tech found out information regarding Mount Tantiss and the cloning experiments being carried out there. He would have related this information to the Bad Batch’s discovery of a downed ship in “Metamorphosis”, in which the ship contained Kaminoan technology and a cloned Zillo Beast, which was later captured by the Empire. This discovery led Tech to theorize that the Empire destroyed the cities of Kamino to take control of its cloning technology for nefarious purposes. With that in mind, Tech would suspect that Hemlock is associated with these cloning experiments on Mount Tantiss, and that Crosshair and Omega are being held captive there. This information would give Hunter, Wrecker and Echo a different approach to find Crosshair and Omega.

Of course, suspicion would not be enough for Tech. He would need confirmation that Crosshair and Omega are on Mount Tantiss. He would also need the layout and floor plan of Mount Tantiss so he could precisely locate where Crosshair and Omega would be held captive. By studying the security measures of Mount Tantiss, Tech would be able to find the best infiltration point, devise the best method of escaping, and prepare for any traps that could hinder the rescue mission like the poisonous gas created by Hemlock in “Tipping Point”. He might gain this information through confidential databases or through a secret communication with Emerie and/or Scorch (though Emerie might be more likely). I believe “The Return” is when Tech reveals to the Bad Batch that he is alive. This time, Tech would take on the role of Helios as he could definitely confirm that Crosshair and Omega are on Mount Tantiss. He would provide the layout and floor plan of Mount Tantiss, allowing Hunter, Wrecker and Echo to plan out a rescue mission. I believe that “Infiltration” and “Extraction” would be the rescue mission, and Tech would take on the role of Hermes, or more specifically, as the guide of souls and the rescuer of the child. Tech would lead Hunter, Wrecker and Echo to infiltrate Mount Tantiss, and they would successfully rescue Crosshair and Omega.

When I analyse the Bad Batch arc in the Clone Wars, I discover that Tech has taken on the roles of Hecate, Helios and Hermes. In “The Bad Batch”, the Bad Batch, Rex and Jesse manage to infiltrate the Cyber Center on Anaxes, which the Separatists are using it to receive Rex’s battle strategy algorithm to predict the Republic’s tactics. When Tech hacks into the computer system, he discovers that the algorithm is not stored inside the center’s memory banks. Instead, the algorithm is being broadcasted from another planet called Skako Minor. This discovery is shocking to both Tech and Rex. Right here, Tech has taken on the role of Hecate as he is now at the crossroads between Anaxes and Skako Minor, and he is providing Rex a different approach to stop the Separatists from winning. Tech then takes on the role of Helios as he digs deeper and finds an audio signal that sounds like a human voice. Under Rex’s request, Tech sends a transmission requesting the person’s identity, which turns out to be “CT-1409” – Echo’s identification number. Tech also drops the voice’s masking so they can clearly hear that it is the voice of a clone trooper.

In “A Distant Echo” and “On the Wings of Keeradaks”, Tech takes on the role of Hermes. As the guide of souls, Tech brings the Bad Batch, Rex and Anakin to Skako Minor, which serves as the Underworld to Echo (and Rex). He flies into a storm but manages to safely land on the planet’s surface. When Anakin is captured by a keeradak, Tech gives the coordinates so Crosshair can shoot a grappling hook at the flying reptile, which allows Hunter to use it to track down Anakin. After rescuing Anakin from the Poletecs, Tech becomes the translator (or Hermes the god of speech) that helps the team and the Poletecs to understand each other. When Tech loses Echo’s signal, Hunter, Wrecker, Crosshair and Anakin begin to fear that Echo is actually dead and the Separatists are using him to lure them into a trap. However, Tech does not believe in that, and neither does Rex. This can be interpreted as Tech helping Rex to hold onto hope. After Tech and Rex manage to find Echo in a stasis chamber, Tech uses his expertise to safely disconnect Echo from the computer. Then, as droids begin to surround Anakin and the clones on a long narrow pipe, Tech uses a recording to summon several keeradaks, allowing all of them to escape using an alternate route. Thanks to his powerful Hermes archetype, Tech ensures that the rescue mission will be a success. As Hermes the rescuer of the child, he plays a vital role on rescuing Echo, who has the Persephone anima. I believe that he would do it again for Omega and Crosshair.

5. Tech vs Hemlock

Tech and Hemlock share the same archetype combination, but they take on different sides. Tech is the good Hades as he is willing to share his inner riches to others (as Hades the Plouton) and he is able to understand and respect other people’s decisions and subjective values (as Hades the Good Counsellor). Hemlock is the evil Hades as he takes on the archetype of the abductor and the shadow of the father archetype (or the Shadow of Zeus). The Empire and Palpatine, with all their might, power and control, represent Zeus. Imperials like Tarkin and Hemlock take on the Zeus archetype as they are prominent figures of the Empire (even having a meeting on the Summit, which is where Zeus resides on his throne). The Empire announces that the clone troopers will be sent for retirement, but they are acting out a terrible secret in the shadows. Hemlock represents the Shadow as he is the one requesting the Empire to send him dissident clone troopers for his inhumane experiments as he believes that eliminating them will not root out the problem of rogue clones within the Empire. Hemlock is abducting these clone troopers into Mount Tantiss, which is the Underworld. He even abducts Omega, who is innately Persephone, so he can force Nala Se to carry out an important project for the Empire. He even threatens to torture Omega for Nala Se’s defiance and failures.

Tech is the good Hermes as he is the guide of souls, the seeker of meaning, and the rescuer of the child. On the other hand, Hemlock is the sociopathic Hermes as he takes on the negative side of the trickster. This is evident when Hemlock pretends to be Hermes the rescuer of the child as he tells Omega that he is here to return her to Nala Se (like Hermes restoring Persephone to her mother Demeter). Although he is right to some extent, Omega does not want to go back to Nala Se because she does not want to be separated from her brothers, and she does not want to be turned into an experiment by the Kaminoans. Hemlock is aware of her resistance, so he resorts to kidnap her. Hemlock does restore Omega to Nala Se, but he actually traps both of them in the Underworld, preventing them from escaping and forcing them to do whatever he wants from them.

In the trailers, we see Hemlock walking beside Palpatine as he commences a project for Nala Se. It does seem that Hemlock has become Palpatine’s right-hand man, making him Athena the archetype of “the father’s daughter”. He upholds all of Palpatine’s commands no matter how horrible they are. Tech has this Athena archetype on him as he is loyal to Hunter, but he also has a tendency to deviate from Hunter’s orders when he thinks it is necessary. Besides, Hunter being a good leader also influences Tech to take on more positive traits of Athena.

Hemlock seems to know how to psychologically break the Bad Batch: he tortures Crosshair with an interrogation droid; he throws Tech’s broken goggles to Hunter and points out his failed leadership; he imprisons, restrains and tortures Omega until she starts to lose hope. Since Tech and Hemlock represent the opposite sides of their archetypes (good vs evil), I feel that Tech is the best candidate to take down Hemlock.

6. Tech’s wrath

I have seen headcanons describing Tech’s wrath as the scariest, and I agree. Although Tech is calm and collected, there are times we can see Tech holding back his anger and frustration. His exceptional mind is one factor why you should never hurt Tech or his loved ones, but I believe there is another factor – his Hades archetype.

In one Greek myth, Theseus and Pirithous both wanted to marry a daughter of Zeus. Theseus chose Helen of Troy while Pirithous chose Persephone (despite she was already married to Hades). They both enter the Underworld and become trapped there. One version of the myth stated that they sat on the rocks and snakes coiled around their legs, which turned their bottoms and legs into stone. Another version stated that Hades had prepared a feast and invited them to sit, and they unknowingly sat in chairs of forgetfulness and were ensnared by chains or snakes. Heracles later encountered them when he was on a quest to capture Cerberus. Heracles managed to release Theseus, though some of his thigh and bottom are left attached to the rock or chair. However, the earth shook when Heracles tried to free Pirithous, serving as a sign that he was doomed to stay behind because his desire to have the goddess for himself was extremely insulting. Taking this myth as reference, I feel that Tech would psychologically torture anyone who dares to hurt him or his loved ones – giving them trauma and possibly ruining their entire lives.

We know that Tech is very protective of his loved ones. In “Aftermath”, when a clone shock trooper whacks Hunter in the stomach with a blaster, Wrecker and Tech are angry and ready to square off with the shock trooper. I believe that Tech loses his cool when he is unable to prevent a regular clone trooper from knocking Echo out with a tray. He may have become violent, causing Hunter, Wrecker, Crosshair and Omega to stop the food fight, restrain Tech, and bring the unconscious Echo to the medbay. I do believe that the Bad Batch knows that it is the end of the world when Tech loses his temper.

I believe that Tech would play a vital role in rescuing Crosshair and Omega from Mount Tantiss. I suspect that this would happen in the mid-season 3 episodes, which are “Infiltration” and “Extraction”. This rescue mission could be interpreted as Tech’s wrath was upon Hemlock. Once the Empire realized that the Bad Batch managed to infiltrate Mount Tantiss and break out two clone prisoners, this would indicate that the security and confidentiality of the Weyland facility had been severely compromised. Hemlock would lose his job, high status, respect and reputation. He would also lose funding and support for his experiments. If Emerie Karr did secretly help Omega and Crosshair to escape, it would rub salt into Hemlock’s wound because she was his assistant and he trusted her. This rescue mission would ruin Hemlock’s life forever, stripping away his purpose and meaning in his life – as if Tech had dragged him into the Underworld and chained him there as punishment.

7. Tech already knew Plan 99 has to happen

This is my theory of what happened to Tech: he uses Plan 99 to fake his death and uses Hemlock’s overconfidence to his advantage.

As the Messenger God, Hermes can travel across the sky, earth and the Underworld with ease. As an archetype, he helps a person to be aware of the past, present and future (the sky is associated with the present and future; the earth is associated with the past and present; the Underworld is timeless). Since Tech has a strong Hermes, he is able to make connections with the past and present to predict the future, which makes him an excellent strategist.

In “Tipping Point”, Echo seeks Tech’s help in decrypting data from a file aboard an Imperial ship carrying clone prisoners. After Tech manages to decrypt the data, he discovers that the Imperial ship was assigned to the Advanced Science Division, but there are no records of its location and purpose. He also discovers that the Advanced Science Division is headed by Dr. Hemlock, who has been expelled from the Republic Science Corps for his unauthorized and unorthodox experiments. Although Tech does not understand why clone prisoners are sent to Hemlock, but he is shocked to find that Crosshair is one of them, which indicates that Crosshair has turned against the Empire. Tech also checks all comm channels and finds a recent distress signal from Crosshair’s old code, which states “Plan 88 – the Seeker”. Tech believes that Crosshair is warning the Bad Batch that they have been targeted by the Empire, or more specifically, Hemlock.

Since clone prisoners are being sent to Hemlock, Tech probably believes that the Advanced Science Division is carrying out cloning experiments like cloning the Zillo Beast as they have discovered it in “Metamorphosis”. The Empire is now replacing Clone Troopers with Stormtroopers, so why would Hemlock need clones for? Tech would suspect that it has something to do with Clone X, a clone trooper with his identifying markings removed and is brainwashed to become an assassin. If that is the case, why would Hemlock be targeting the Bad Batch? Tech would suspect that Hemlock is after Omega because she has the unaltered genetic template of Jango Fett, which is why a bounty is placed on her head in Season 1. He may think that Hemlock wants the genetic template for his cloning experiments.

Moreover, previous records of clone prisoners reveal that Crosshair has been sent to Hemlock a few rotations ago. Then, the Plan 88 signal is sent recently, possibly from Hemlock’s base. Tech would suspect that Crosshair has heard that Hemlock is after the Bad Batch (especially Omega) and he manages to send them a warning. This would mean that their attempts to lay low have been futile. It is possible that their missions to Serenno, Coruscant and the downed ship with the Zillo Beast have caught the Empire’s attention. To make matters worse, they have left AZI with Cid, and AZI is a Kaminoan medical droid, which will attract Hemlock’s attention. Since they have crossed Cid by refusing to work for her, it is only a matter of time before she sells them out to Hemlock. It would be dangerous for them to step foot on Ord Mantell or to carry out any mercenary jobs because the Empire is now after them.

Since Hemlock is a high ranked Imperial, his base of operations would have tight security, and Tech may find it surprising that Crosshair managed to send the Plan 88 signal to them. Tech probably begins to wonder if Crosshair’s actions would serve as proof to Hemlock that the Bad Batch is alive, and he is now waiting for them to come and rescue Crosshair. This would serve as a trap as Hunter has suspected. Although Tech is determined to rescue Crosshair, they would have to do it in secret. Echo reports that Hemlock will be on Eriadu, and they can plant a tracking device on his shuttle so they can locate his base and Crosshair. It is a risky plan, especially with the knowledge that the Empire is targeting them, so everything must go smoothly. At this moment, Tech is probably preparing for the worst-case scenario. If the plan goes wrong, their position would be compromised, and Hemlock would suspect that they are involved in this because they have received Crosshair’s distress signal. Hemlock would have known about Clone Force 99 by now, and he would tighten all security measures, which would make it more difficult for them to locate and rescue Crosshair. Furthermore, a failed mission may result in all of them getting captured by the Empire, which is not an ideal outcome. With that, Tech is well-prepared to carry out Plan 99 if the mission goes wrong.

Surely enough, the mission does go wrong and Tech carries out Plan 99. Being the smartest one in the team, he would find a way to survive the fall. He also left his broken goggles at the wreckage to make Hemlock assume that he is dead and the Bad Batch did come back to retrieve his body (but they forgot the goggles). After all, clones do not leave their own kind behind. As the cable car speeds up and carries Hunter, Echo, Wrecker and Omega away, Tech probably would have predicted that Omega would get injured because she is not wearing any armour. This would prompt the team to bring her to Ord Mantell because AZI would know how to save her life. They would not have the time to search for Tech. Besides, with Hunter’s pessimism, he would assume that Tech did not make it, and as the leader, he would convince others that Tech is dead.

Now that the team is back in Ord Mantell, Tech would have predicted Cid’s betrayal. He also would have predicted Omega being kidnapped by Hemlock, which would force Hunter to join Rex’s resistance network for he needs all their help to rescue her. As Hemlock sees the grief on the team’s faces, he is convinced that Tech is dead. With the smartest team member ‘dead’, Hemlock thinks that he has won, and he is now unstoppable. He now has Omega, and he firmly believes that the rest of the Bad Batch will not be able to find out Mount Tantiss, where he has imprisoned her and Crosshair. After all, all data associating the Advanced Science Division is heavily encrypted and he believes that no clone can break through his security measures. This explains why he is not worried about the loss of an Imperial shuttle carrying clone prisoners and he disregards the possibility that the clones will have access to the confidential data. However, we all know that Tech is able to bypass his security measures.

It seems that Hemlock is overconfident of his abilities, and this would be his downfall. He certainly has underestimated the clones, especially on how paternal they can be. I believe that he also has underestimated Tech’s intellect. After using Plan 99 to fake his death, Tech would go on an undercover mission. He would take on a new identity and a new appearance. He would venture deep into the Imperial files as he searches for Crosshair and Omega. Once he found any information linking to them, he would deliver it to Rex, who would later inform Hunter about it. For now, all Tech needed was time and patience as he waited for Hemlock to become so overconfident that he finally slipped, allowing Tech to take advantage of it. Right now, Tech is playing a game of chess, and everyone has taken their designated positions, just as he has intended them to do. After all, he is the mastermind.

[deconstructthesoup]

Analyzing "The Web I Spin For You"

Okay, so... THIS FUCKING SONG is one of the most interesting and compelling songs in the Nightmare Time saga, and nobody ever talks about it---unless they're praising Mariah's voice, which is something you should be doing regardless. Outside of "The Summoning," this is the only song sung by one of the gods of the Black & White, and unlike "The Summoning," which is just vibes, villain chaos, and dealing out some Faustian bargains with the NPMD gang, this song actually provides lore. It shows us a deeper look into Webby's psyche and motivations, something that the Lords in Black have yet to be gifted. It gives us a hint as to how brothers and sister split apart... and I think it might be our very first---and so far, only---look into the parent of these eldritch beings.

Okay, let's start.

"Why do you haunt me like a ghost? / You're supposed to love me the most"

Right off the bat, we have emotional depth. Webby is singing about someone who has hurt her, someone who was supposed to love her but instead used her and continues to haunt her life. Who is this person, and what did they do?

"Got me in the spell you cast / The iris of your eye is black / Weren't you the one to watch my back / Unlike the witches you summon?"

This is where it ties into the episode, with "witches you summon." You get the clear sense that Webby is talking about a family member---maybe her brothers, but it has to be one in particular, and it doesn't really feel like she's talking about Wiggly... if nothing more than the fact that his irises are very clearly not black, at least if the doll is anything to go by.

"Have you noticed that my trust has turned / You may have taught me, but now I've learned / Gotta catch you before I'm burned / In the web I spin for you"

Now, here is where it starts to make sense. I think this song is about the father of the Lords in Black and Webby---someone who taught them how to be gods of chaos. Maybe once upon a time, Webby believed in what her father was teaching her, maybe he even kept the truth secret from her, but she grew up, saw through it, decided that she didn't want to participate in the evil, and left.

At this point in the song, the phrase "the web I spin for you" seems to refer to something Webby made for her family's benefit, and based on the lyrics, it eventually became a curse for her. I saw someone mention the theory that Webby created the split timeline... and you know what? Maybe that is the web she made. A blessing, because nothing is ever permanent and nobody ever truly dies, but a curse, because she watches her brothers succeed again and again, and even when she wins, there's no guarantee that the people she helped will be happy. In fact, the episode this comes from has the only ending in the Hatchetfield universe---nobody dies, Hannah makes it out with Miss Holloway's help, Lex and Ethan get out of jail. And honestly... it hits harder that way, because I think there's enough evidence to suggest that The Witch In The Web is in the same timeline as Nightmare Time 2. And we all know how that ended.

"You used to keep me at your side / (Have you given that up? Have you given that up? Have you given that up?) / I suppose you'd have me empathize"

The way I'm interpreting it now, this could add fuel to the fire as to why the LiB resent Webby. Maybe back when she still believed in her family, she was her father's favorite. But something happened---maybe nothing more than the fact that she was kind---that changed all that. In the very next line, she says that the person she's singing about stabbed her in the back. Maybe she was lied to, maybe she was betrayed---whatever the reason, this could be why she left.

"Have you noticed that my trust has turned / You may have taught me, but now I've learned / I'll enjoy it as I watch you squirm / In the web I spin for you"

Here is where "the web I spin for you" shifts from being something Webby made to help to something she made to trap. The web she made---maybe it's the timeline, maybe it's something else---benefits nobody, but especially not the people who hurt her. She doesn't trust them anymore, so she's turned her web into something that can hurt them back.

"What's the point of giving love and trust for / I thought it something that was worth the fight for / And now I wonder what I worked so hard for / I even thought that I could give my life for you"

God. Damn. There's so much I can say, but the first thing that comes to mind is... poor Webby. Based on these lyrics alone, she has been hurt, she's been betrayed, she's likely been lied to or mislead about the purpose of what she was doing, and it's a miracle that she's still her loving and caring self. And speaking of which...

"I was the only one that loved and cared for / Have you noticed that I have it in for / As I grew older that I have no need for / The web I spin for you"

This one is actually pretty straightforward, and it lends credence to the theory that Webby truly is the only Queen in White---the only good entity in her family. The next line could either indicate that she's grown to the point where she's too powerful for the web she made, or she's outright rejecting her family and the purpose they gave her---either way, it's still cool.

"If I'm-a trust, I'm gonna trust in me / You may have taught me, but I'm now learning / All this time, I've been untangling / The web I spin for you"

And THIS RIGHT HERE is where the "gotta take it back, take it back" refrain all throughout the song makes sense. Webby is now attempting to undo her actions, now that she knows that she can't trust her family and that she's learning on her own. She's untangling the web she made, and in doing so, turning the tide.

"No doubt that if I drop dead / You'll find me tangled up / In the web I spin for you"

Full disclosure---I always have to look up those last two lyrics to know what they are, and they're very bone-chilling. My only thought to what this might mean is that... Webby's saying that the web she made might kill her. And she's either trying to guilt the person she's singing to, or she's furious at the fact that they made her create such a thing, and... yeah. I don't know what's more hard-hitting.

ANYWAYS, this song is supremely underrated