#FINALLY got around to this!!! i promised this to CJ forever ago; here it is!

[wizardofgoodfortune]

THE SEVEN LAMPS OF ARCHITECTURE 15th century venice au by @quillingwords & @the-cloudy-dreamer

November, 1475. Hob Gadling arrives in Venice, explores a mysterious world of cosmic grandeur, trades ink-stained love confessions with his stranger, and embraces the most important lesson of all: that life is a story all on its own, past and present and an ending that isn't really an ending at all.

[afriendlyblackhottie]

Committed

Summary: It was finally time to make things official.

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: minors dni, smut, sex in wedding dress, pregnancy sex, missionary, girl on top, squirting, mentions of daddy kink but no daddy kink

(A/N: I wrote this a minute ago, but I couldn’t figure out how to end it so I ended up deciding to keep it short. This is part of Love Like You. Follow, like, comment, and Reblog 💜 ✌🏾)

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Suddenly you felt fourteen again. Like you were passing him in the hallway at school. Getting a glimpse of him while he didn’t even realize you existed. Except that one time he bumped into you when he was goofing off. You thought you were going to have a heart attack when he bent down to pick up your books. Your friends made fun of you for a week because of how you stuttered out an, ‘it’s okay’ as he apologized profousely. It’s crazy how ten years can change things.

When he first brought up eloping you thought he was just kidding. You chuckled and kissed him which led to another round of sex. He seemed unable to keep his hands off of you already, but since telling him you were pregnant with baby number two he’d been even worse.

As second time parents he was still afraid to do anything. Afraid that if he touched you to roughly during sex, that you’d break. It was nice this time that he knew better not that he could do the things he usually did.

This was different than your pregnancy with Little Chris. This had been planned. There was no panic since you were already a family and knew you could actually take care of yourselves. There was comfort in knowing that despite the bad times you still had each other.

Besides he promised that you could always have a bigger wedding later. After you had your little jellybean. He just wanted to make you his wife already. Needed it after spending too long not making that jump. What was the point in waiting anymore when the both of you knew what you wanted.

So as he said, “I do.”

Then you next. “I do,” your tone all breathy with your heart feeling like it was going to thump out of your chest. 

Your best friend Maya on your side with Scott on his. It didn’t even matter that there was only fifteen people here. As he was told to kiss his bride, you felt yourself tearing up before he placed one on you. Your son hugging Chris’ leg grinning so wide.

The plan was for Little Chris to stay at his Ma’s to give you alone time. God knows you needed it. You still hadn’t even told everyone you were pregnant yet. Your bump was barely showing and the dress you were wearing was hiding it enough.

As soon so you got into the hotel room, he kissed you. Grabbing your hips to lead you to the bed. He sat down bunching up the bottom of your dress so you could straddle his lap.

His dick so hard underneath you. You rubbed your center into him.

“Chris,” you whimpered as he started kissing down your neck. He didn’t stop instead grabbing into his bride’s ass so he could flip you over to lay you down.

“Yes, Mrs. Evans,” he teased, kissing your nose.

“I love you.” You put your hand on his cheek.

“God I love you so damn much,” he sighed contently pressing his lips into yours once again because he couldn’t get enough. Not that it wasn’t always like this, but now with you as his wife he felt himself getting obsessed over the thought.

As soon as he’d seen you in your dress he knew he’d have to make love to you while you wore it. Even for such a small event you were the prettiest bride he’d ever laid his eyes on.

He thought back to last year. How he’d missed the holidays. How much he missed you and CJ. It’s crazy how fast things can change. Now you were here in his arms as his wife and he doesn’t think he could ever be happier.

It’s crazy how things can change so quickly. How he’d thought you’d hate him forever for not being around. As he kissed you, making you moan, worshipping you like he’d never get the chance to touch you ever again. Except he’d be able to do this for the rest of his life.

“Chris,” you whimpered again. He chuckled against your neck which he’d started trailing kisses down a moment ago. “Fuck, please.”

“Tell me what you want,” he said. “I need to hear it.”

“I want you. Want you to touch me.”

“Touch you where?”

“Everywhere, Chris, I need you,” you sounded as desperate as you felt. For some reason knowing that he was your husband now and that you were having his baby made you so needy for his touch. Not like you weren’t always, but you wanted this to be extra good.

He smiled down at you. “Don’t worry, Baby. I got you.” There was something about when you moaned his name. Normally you called him Daddy in bed and fuck he loved it, but those times where you’d whimper out his name made him feral.

He took it upon himself to start kissing up and down your stomach. He was so obsessed with showering your barely there bump with love.

“Chris,” you mewled as soon as his lips touched your clit. Tongue swirling around the nub as he held the crotch of your panties to the side. Fuck you should have never agreed to cut his hair because even though he looked hot as hell, you missed tugging on it when he was eating you out.

He pushed two of his fingers into you making you whimper. Even as he went back up your body until he was kissing you again. “Is it bad that I wanna do a do over after you’ve had the baby so that I can put another baby into you?”

You rolled your eyes. “I think you have a fetish,” you managed to get out even though it was a little distracting the way he was stuffing his fingers in your cunt.

“Don’t tell me you’re complaining.”

You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Never.” You had a sharp intake of air as he pressed into the bundle of nerves inside of you. “Fuck.”

“You like that?” He asked with a smirk.

“Mhm,” you breathed. “I like it a lot.”

“Yeah?” He grinned because he loved watching you in your white dress as you squirmed.

You nodded then moaned. “Oh my god, Baby!” You cried, tightening around his fingers.

“Gonna cum for me already?” He asked before kissing your lips. “Gonna cum for your husband?”

You nodded, breathing all heavy. “Yes.”

“Yeah? Gonna cum for me?”

You nodded, your jaw dropping open as you started reaching your peak. Needing to cum for him.

“Does my cute little wife want to cum on my hand?”

“God, yes!” Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he finally made you cum.

He smiled, nuzzling your nose with his. “That’s my good girl. Cum for me, Baby. That’s it.” He kissed you, fingers going to your achy clit.

You made out for what felt like ever. Tongues moving against each other’s. Him lazily playing with your pussy still. Your hands finally going to his dick which was getting harder in his pants.

You flipped him over so that he was on his back, straddling his lap. His hands grabbed at your ass now as you grinned center into his clothed dick reaching between the two of you so you could palm it. Your panties already wet from your previous orgasm so it was making a mess on his pants.

“Nasty wife wants me to fuck her in her wedding dress, huh?” He asked with a smirk.

You nodded as you started to work on unbuckling his belt before he took over while you unzipped him. When his dick was out it was like it didn’t even matter that you’d seen it so many times. It was just so damn beautiful and all yours.

He lifted you up, making you gasp as he worked to take his pants off. “Hey! Watch the merchandise!”

He laughed, tilting his head back. “I didn’t want you to get up.”

You touched your belly, pouting at him. “Jellybean is probably in there feeling like she’s on a coaster.”

He didn’t let up, rubbing the back of your thigh then coming to the front to touch your belly. “You don’t even know if they’re a she yet.”

“I know, but I have a feeling,” you replied shrugging your arms. “Then we have a boy and a girl and we don’t have to think about it ever again.”

He snorted. “You wish. I’m getting as many babies out of you as I can.”

You shook your head before leaning down to kiss him. “Oh yeah? And how many you think we could handle?”

“I’m thinking twelve.” He pecked your lips. “Maybe twenty.”

You laughed. “We are not about to be on some Duggar shit.”

“If that’s what it takes,” he said before getting a nice grip on your ass making you hiss.

“Chris,” you let out a breathy moan as he massaged you. “How many babies again?”

“Don’t tell me I got you thinking about popping out baby after baby,” he said. “Cuz the minute I get a yes, I’m holding you to it forever.”

You put your hands on either side of his face. “What if I want it.”

“Yeah?” He grinned. He honestly felt like he was dizzy with love. Though technically it wouldn’t really change your relationship that much. There was something about it. Made him feel almost primal to call you his wife. Fuck he did have a fetish.

The more he thought about it, the more he needed. It didn’t matter that he’d already bred you he was trying to show you that it would be happening against. Whether you wanted it or not. He owned your pussy before saying ‘I do,’ but he just really make sure you absolutely understood.

“Chris!” You squeaked as he pushed inside of you. He was trying not to be too rough, but the more he started to thrust into you the less it felt like he could help it.

“You’re gonna be my good wife, huh?” He groaned. “Gonna come home to you making dinner every fucking night. Keep you full of my babies.”

You nodded. “Yes, Chris!” Then let out a gasp because he’d angled his hips so he could hit your spot.

“That’s it,” he said. “That’s my girl. Gonna breed you for as long as I fucking can. Cuz this is my pussy. You fucking hear me?”

“I know,” you whimpered. He put his hand on the back of your head so you were forced to look him in the eye until he finally made you squirt.

When he finally helped you out of your dress, you got on top of him so you could ride his cock. He gripped your hips so he could help you move up and down his length. Your moans filling the room as he fucked you.

God, you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life getting dicked down like this.

[honeyhenry]

Brother Bubba

this was my first piece of writing so I'm extremely nervous posting! pls be kind if offering any feedback. also this took way longer to write than I intended so I’m sorry if anyone has been waiting for it! 

word count: 2k+

warnings: pregnant!reader, lots of fluff, copious amounts of Dodger Evans

enjoy!

Chris sighs as he pulls the large BMW into the driveway. He had of course, ensured that the journey from the hospital was cautious and careful - completely different from the journey taken from home to the hospital only 2 days ago. In his defence, you had yelled at him, telling him to “step on it, I refuse to have this baby in a car Chris I swear!!” 

So this time, on the journey back to the large 5-bedroom house, he stays vigilant despite being away for most of the last 48 hours, wary of every turn on the drive home, holding the most precious cargo that at one point he could only possibly dream of. His wife and newborn son. 

His family.

For the majority of his career, Chris had been known as one of America’s finest bachelors. Sure, he had friends to hang out with, and a schedule that led to a series of relationships burning out, or indeed them lighting his house on fire with him trapped inside. Metaphorically, of course. And so it had been just him, until one life changing moment a few years ago. Suddenly, it wasn’t just him, anymore. 

Because then came Dodger.

Chris’ best friend in the whole world and someone who he could rely on for company, loyalty, and comfort. Chris wanted the whole “picket fence” life, and had thought that he may as well be a step ahead with adopting a fun energetic dog. There had been an instantaneous love and trust between the two, and so Chris reckoned that anyone who he wanted to keep in his life for the long-term, had to pass the Dodger test. Anything less than love and respect shown by and towards the sweet dog, was a small but still quite blaring red flag. 

But Dodger had taken to you, almost instantly in fact. He saw you as wholesome and trustworthy, even when Chris himself was still working out what your relationship was blossoming into. Whether Dodger’s adoration of you was due to your character,  or the fact that you always loved to sneak him some treats whenever his owner wasn’t looking, Chris couldn’t be sure. But he was glad of Dodger’s approval even during the awkward “what exactly are we?” stage in the beginning.

It was safe to say that the pup had in fact deduced your character, as even though the treats had eventually been halted - ”Y/N, he’s getting a bit of a belly and we’re running low on treats” - Dodger made sure to have a toy or pillow just to give to you when you started going round to Chris’ place more. You were so good to Chris - you made him question if he’d ever fully lived before meeting you, and so Dodger didn’t mind that he was kept out of his owner’s room every now and then. As long as it was made up for in the morning with snuggles that Dodger knew he could get from you. Whenever Chris would leave to go to the bathroom, he’d come back to find that you’d let Dodger in to cuddle and pet him.

“You’re gonna replace me with Dodge, Y/N? Really? My own mutt?” he’d ask, mock hurt while you giggled from between the sheets, stroking Dodger’s soft fur. 

“Well it’s hardly my fault you Evans boys are so whiny for cuddles”

And so, after two happy, loving years spent with Chris and his closest buddy, navigating through this new life you’d created together, Chris knew you were the one.

He’d have told Dodger the proposal plans, alongside a couple of your and his own family members.

“S’not just gonna be you and me anymore bubba; but that’s a good thing I promise. Gonna make sure you have lots of friends to play with though, a bigger house and a bigger yard to run around in. Mom and I are gonna be forever bubba, and you’re always in the picture, i promise.”

And he fully kept his promise, only delighted to do so when you cried and said yes as he had got down on one knee. The wedding was held a year on from that night he proposed, and only a month following your honeymoon, you found out that Dodger would have a little friend to play with after all.

During your pregnancy, Dodger was incredibly protective of you. Sometimes not even Chris was allowed past Dodger, particularly after a day at work when he’d been working and ended up smelling or looking different to his normal dusky scent and fresh face. Dodger liked to bark and growl at whoever got what he deemed to be too close, to make sure you weren’t left vulnerable and alone with nothing but a belly full of Evans.

You never had to complain about a lack of love or protection - not with your two boys almost fighting over you for cuddles or kisses. Most nights, Dodger would put his big fluffy head on your stomach and rest there, being as close as he could to his growing friend. It was fair to say that Dodger’s big head and Chris’ hands fought for who got to feel the baby move around the most. 

Baby Evans would be completely impartial of course, rolling around for anyone who brought a sense of comfort. Nobody missed out - you were all family.

Therefore, as Dodger has truly been part of so much of your life, it was only fair that Chris felt bad for leaving him for the past 2 days. Of course, his sister had come over to feed him and play with him, however Chris wanted to make sure that his bubba knew he’d not been forgotten by you or him.

But leaving had been worth it, as this time, you and Chris now return to your family home with someone brand new for your lovable dog to meet.

After parking the car, he turns to face you in the backseat as you gaze fondly over the tiny person wrapped up and buckled into the big clunky safe car seat. Your little angel, your honeymoon baby who was most definitely conceived in the villa you’d rented out for 3 weeks in The Bahamas for your honeymoon.

Your husband smiles at you, watching you interact with your son. You feel his gaze on you and you look up to him, not even the impact of the sheer exhaustion you felt course through your body, could change how lovingly he looked at you. It still makes you blush.

“I love him so much.” You whisper, to Chris, to yourself, to anyone who will listen. “ And yes, before you ask, he’s totally fine, still hasn’t woken up. he’s even clutching his tiny teddy.” Chris looks at you the same way you’ve been looking at your newborn son. In utter adoration.

However he soon springs into action, helping you out of the car, using his strength to lift out the baby carrier from the backseat. He gently fixes the blanket on top of his son’s tiny body, a blanket knitted for the newborn Evans by his Chris’ own Ma - now a Grandma to his own child, not just his nieces and nephews. He smiles at the thought of his whole family getting to meet his son, and his son getting to grow up in a huge family full of love and laughter. Putting the carrier next to you at the front door, he retrieves the rest of the luggage, before he grabbing his keys to open the door.

He hears a bark. Then another. And then, a few excitable, louder woofs.

You can both hear Dodger jumping up at the door and so mutually decide for Chris to enter first, going straight to the mutt, cuddling him and letting him jump around in excitement. Chris fluffs his pup’s ears as he laughs at Dodger’s rambunctious behaviour, getting all his pent up energy out while you try to sneak past the two of them having their moment, taking the baby carrier to the living room.

“Hey Dodge! Yeah it’s me, your old man, and Mom is here too!!! Yeah Mommy’s here!! And we have a big surprise for you - we’re gonna introduce you to your new brother! Your baby brother huh, yeah that’s right bubba!” Chris smiles, still laughing and talking away to Dodger who he’s missed just as much the past couple of days. It makes you so happy to see the bond between your man and his ever loyal dog.

Before you know it, Dodger has lost interest in Chris - “Sorry Chris, I guess I’m his favourite now” you had said when you first got together - keen to see you and whatever the new smelling thing is that you’ve brought home.

Finally, the momentous occasion had arrived. the first meeting of Chris’ special boys. You had both been a little nervous for the newest arrival to be introduced to Dodger, given how loving and excitable he could be. But you both trusted him, and your gut instincts, and decided that if you wanted everything to be as normal as possible, then Dodger was going to be with you all from the first day you bring the baby home, and start their sure to be close bond from then.

You take your son out, cradling him close to your chest. From Dodger’s viewpoint, he can see Mom, but also two tiny socked feet. Chris is holding his bubba’s collar, but only loosely as Dodger settles down beside you quickly and quietly.

“Okay easy bud, we’re gonna introduce you now to someone really special. Good boy, Dodge, nice and calm.” Dodger sits patiently, still sniffing at the new smell, but can tell that whatever is happening is important.

You smile, thankful that your pup is staying true to his kind nature. “It’s ok Chris, he’s fine. Dodge honey - this is CJ.”

You lower down your sweet baby to your lap where Dodger can see. CJ is a small, delicate bundle, with a soft mop of dark hair, while his long delicate lashes rest on soft cheeks. You’ve only seen his little peepers once today as you changed him before you left the hospital, but it’s only when Dodger nudges a foot with his nose that CJ opens his eyes again. You smile, and Chris breathes a sigh of relief as Dodger makes no plans to act suddenly or nastily.

“Yeah sweetheart” you address the bundle on your lap, “that’s Dodger. That’s your big brother. He’s been looking after you so much already, and you’re gonna have so much fun with him.” Dodger rests his head on your lap by the sweet boy and sniffs at him, while CJ slowly flutters his big eyes, sleep planning to take him once more.

“Good boy Dodge...good job buddy” Chris pats Dodger, as he watches the scene before him slowly unfold, just as it had in his dreams. Dodgers big eyes are just staring at the baby, and apart from the odd sniff now and then, he doesn’t move. Already, he wants to make sure that his little buddy is good.

You turn to Chris. “See, I told you he’d be fine”.

CJ closes his eyes ready for some more sleep and Dodger turns to look at Chris, which makes him laugh softly.

“Yeah bud he can’t play right now, not like your old man here. But give him a little while and he’ll be chasing you round the garden like nobody’s business.”

Chris goes to give his oldest bud more pats, wanting to let him know what a good job he’s doing already, but quickly Dodger rushes off, only to return with his favourite toy lion, planting it on your lap right next to your newborn son.

“Ohhh thank you bubba”, you nearly cry at the sweet gesture. “What do you say CJ? We say ‘Thank you Dodger’”.

Chris smiles. He’ll take the hospital stuff upstairs later but for now you’re his priority. Well, not just you now, but baby CJ too. His family.

He looks at Dodger resting his head by his lion and CJ, knowing already that the loyal pup would do anything for his little brother. He made no mistake in starting this family with a loveable, trustworthy dog.

He couldn’t have chosen a better best friend and protector for his son, Chris reckons.

---------------

let me know what you think!

i am also taking requests for drabbles & lists!

[hitchell-mope]

(Third Film. Jane’s birthday party)

Dizzy: I LOVE THIS FOOD! What is it?

Jane: Mal made them. Ben’s recipe. Uhhhh. Mac’n’Cheese cupcakes.

Dizzy: no matter what happens stop me when I’ve had 50.

Lonnie: and how many have you had already?

Dizzy: 25

Lonnie: ah.

(Dizzy runs off laughing like mad)

Lonnie: so when’s the string quartet coming

Jane: hopefully never

Lonnie: you’re not enjoying yourself are you?

Jane: I am. I am, it’s just. Mother made a schedule. No opening my presents until she gets here and she’s not here. And neither are the rest of our friends and I don’t want another geometry book or a rock polisher. I stopped collecting rocks when I was 10.

Lonnie: hey, hey. It’s alright. Party’ll pick up. Just wait til Mal gets here. We’ll finally see the famous routine

Jane (chuckling): infamous more like with all the cloak and dagger she’s put into it

Lonnie: I’d thought you’d seen it.

Jane: I have. Mal said there’s more to it though. Not for anyone over fifty. And mothers darn near a million

Lonnie: well. 99 thousand eight hundred and 37. And a half

(Both girls burst into a giggle fit. Half way up the embankment Chadeficent is arguing with a chaperone)

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): hey dickbrain. I’m on the list. Chad. Charming. My father pays your salary. So you can take this piece of scrap and shove it up your

Dizzy: what in Grimm’s name are you doing here?

Chadeficent (both voices): silence wretch

Jane: Chad. Are you ok?

Chadeficent (Maleficent’s voice): perfectly well my dear little girl

(Their eyes glow black. Jane gulps and rushes back to the others)

Jane: something’s wrong with chad!

Lonnie and Dizzy: what’s right with him?

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): none of you belong here. Not at court. Not as nobility. Not as anything else but housewives. And you “cousin” shouldn’t have left the poverty line. And I’m gonna make sure you bitches pay with your second class lives.

Lonnie: on with the misogyny full force then eh?

Dizzy and Jane: apparently.

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): it’s your bday isn’t it?

Jane (hesitantly): yes?

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): has mom sent you something?

Jane: a handmade dress.

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): I have something better

(He pulls out the wand. Everyone else takes a step back in shock)

Jane: it was you

Chadeficent (Maleficent’s voice): not just him

(They split apart and Maleficent stands before Jane. She’s grinning like the madwoman she is)

Maleficent: did you really think he had the brains to pull it off

Dizzy: where are my parents

Chad: who gives a flying fuck? Ones a whore and ones a half formed freak. They deserve what they’re gonna get.

Jane: run. EVERYBODY RUN. GET AWAY WHILE YOU CAN

Maleficent: thought you’d say that. Oh. Someone gave you a compact mirror. Lovely.

(She points at the present table and glass shards start shooting out sending everyone into a panic. Lonnie hoists dizzy up and the three girls run to the shore of the lake)

Dizzy: no wait stop. I can’t swim.

Lonnie: you’ve been. Here for a year!

Dizzy: they asked if I wanted lessons I said no.

Jane: that worked out well.

(Lonnie puts Dizzy down and turns to face her)

Lonnie: Dizzy I promise. I won’t let go. But you have got to trust. Do you?

Dizzy: yes

Jane: jump!

(They all dive into the lake, Dizzy clinging on to Lonnie for dear life. Jane’s eyes glow periwinkle blue and suddenly their standing on the lakes floor)

Dizzy: what happened?

Jane: magic. It’s a wonderful thing. In the right hand.

Lonnie: and right now one of the most powerful magical relics is in the hands of chad and Maleficent. We have to warn them. Ben at the very least needs to know.

(Back on the embankment chad hasn’t been paying attention to a single thing the girls have been doing. Instead he’s been scratching his skull with the wand)

Chad: ooh. I know what to do. Happy birthday Janey

(This is when “happy birthday happens. After the song he just stands there dumbly)

Chad: where’d everybody go?

Maleficent: never mind that. We must make haste to the palace. We must find the king if you ever want the throne

Chad: yay! (Maleficent’s takes control of his body) oof must ya do that every goddamn time? (Maleficent’s voice) it’s amusing to me.

(They disappear in a swirl of black smoke. Under the lake Jane’s been listening in on the conversation)

Jane: Ok they’ve gone. Dizzy. Lonnie. Be careful. When we break the surface you might get a head rush. It’ll pass. Fight it.

Lonnie: ok. Sure. Makes sense

Dizzy: can’t you just teleport us to land?

Jane: oh yeah. Didn’t think about it

(With a flash of periwinkle blue smoke the three are back on land. Dizzy immediately runs up to the food table and starts kissing it)

Dizzy: oh land I’ve missed you so

Lonnie: it was barely ten minutes

Dizzy: it was 10 minutes too long! Jane what are you doing

Jane: calling the king. Ben? Hi yes. Chad has the wand. He’s possessed-you know? Does anyone else know? Mal and the others. Ok. We’re in safe hands. Just stay in your office. No. No ones dead. Well. No one else. Well. Not yet. Rendezvous at your office? Perfect. Bye.

(She ends the call and starts going through the present table)

Dizzy: what are you doing?

Jane: looking for something (to herself) come on Abigail. You were my favourite babysitter. Come through for me. Do not leave me high and dry. AHA YES!

Lonnie and Dizzy: what?

Jane (turning around to show them): water bazooka

Dizzy: and what’s that going to do?

Jane (already wading back into the lake): help us. This lake is magic. You come into contact with it and any spell you were put under is removed.

Dizzy: so what? We’re gonna beat chad via a water gun fight?

Jane: bazooka. And sort of. If the others are put under, we shoot em with this and they’ll wake up. In theory.

Lonnie: ok that’s all well and good but it’s your mothers wand. The magic will only last until midnight.

Jane: my mother’s wand is being influenced by the mistress of all evil. Aka the first one to be revived from death 23 years ago

Lonnie (realising): oh crap. So our friends are our best shot basically.

Dizzy: as always.

(In Ben’s office, he’s enacting the protocols when Audrey skips in)

Audrey: it took forever but I finally found something for Jane. Carlos let me use the 3D printer and I made her a wand of her very own. It’s not magic but I think she might like it.

Ben: you need to get back to your room

Audrey: what? No

Ben: the party’s cancelled, go back to your room. I don’t want to use magic on you but I will if I have to. So please go back to your room!

Audrey: Florian you’re not making any sense

Ben (taken aback): you’ve never called me Florian before

Audrey: you’ve never not made any sense before. So what’s. Happening?

Ben: chad has the wand. And he’s possessed by Maleficent. We don’t know what he wants so the entire kingdom is going on lockdown until he’s stopped.

Audrey: oh no. Oh nononononononono. Oh it’s all my fault. I did this. I drove him to it

(She keeps rambling. Ben tries to get through to her but to no avail. Until he slaps her around the face)

Audrey: OW! That really hurt

Ben: I’m sorry you weren’t making any sense and I didn’t know best else to do and Carlos once did that to me and it worked and I’m so sorry

Audrey: s’ok. I probably would’ve done the same thing.

Ben: what do you mean it was your fault

Audrey: I dumped chad last night.

Ben: what?

Audrey: he was being a dick. Said I couldn’t hang out with Mal anymore. He tried to stop me from leaving. So I dumped him. And your eyes are glowing again.

(Ben blinks hard three times and the glowing stops)

Ben: sorry about that. And it’s not your fault. It’s his. Never apologise for knowing your own worth

Audrey: which is what you did when you broke up with

Ben: ah. Did I ever apologise for that?

Audrey: no. And you were right not to. I was a bitch. I still see murder in Evie’s eyes sometimes. And I deserve it. I sicced chad on Carlos. I’m surprised you didn’t have me executed

Ben: well Evie did suggest (laughing) ow

(Audrey just playfully slapped him on the arm)

Audrey: now we’re even

Ben: not yet. Ici tu vas madame

(He hands her a shot glass of wine)

Audrey: Pourquoi merci, gentil monsieur

(They down each glass in one. And promptly cough it back up)

Audrey: aw that’s. That’s bad.

Ben: haha yeah.

Audrey: why do we drink this again?

Ben: cause we’re french?

Audrey: possibly. (She looks at the bottle) and it’s out of date. Where’d you get it.

Ben: mom gave it to me. Said she was keeping it for her fiftieth wedding anniversary. That statement aged well.

Audrey: bin?

Ben: bin.

(He throws the bottle away

Ben: now you should really get back to your room. Activate the protocols Mal made. You should be safe

Audrey: ok.

(She leaves)

Ben: oh and hey. Don’t blame yourself for what Chad’s doung. He’s always been a dick. No one changes anyone. We change ourselves. He’s just done it wrong.

Audrey: sure. (To herself) then why do I feel like I’m still to blame?

(This is when “what if” happens)

(Elsewhere the six vks have just gone through the barrier into the island. And Mal is young again)

Mal: well that was surprisingly easy

Celia: it always is. Then the bullshittery happens.

Evie: explain.

Celia: your majesty. Chancellor. Follow me to your fathers lair.

Evie: this is gonna suck for me personally isn’t it?

Mal and Celia: probably

Carlos: hey mom. What do we do when you’re off on you feel good movie of the year thing?

Celia: my fathers arcade. I thought it’d be obvious

Carlos: yeah. You’d think.

Jay: there is a photobooth there you know?

Carlos: at your lead then

Gil: what about our bikes?

Celia: again. My fathers arcade. Oh so simple Legume

Gil: well not to me! I’m not Cj.

Evie: don’t mention that bitch Gil. Please. It’s like candy man. Say it enough it’ll show up.

Gil: I used to think that too. But brother said it’s an old legend and therefore not true

Mal: let him live, sis.

(Evie snarls)

Celia: c’mon end ladies we are burning daylight

(The wiz split up. The girls going to the lair. The boys going to the arcade. None of them see Harriet in the shadows drinking watching them and knocking back a hip flask. Back in Auradon a black cloud of smoke is descending across the land. And Doug is trying to comfort the twins)

Doug: it’s ok. Just stay here. I’ll get the blanket.

Squeaky: whas happening?

Doug: someone that doesn’t like us is trying to hurt us. But don’t worry. I won’t let them get to you.

The twins: ok.

(Around the the house is covered in blackness. The curse has reached them. The front door is blasted off its hinges)

Doug: I’ll protect you. I swear it. (To himself) ohh this is so “Harry Potterish” it’s disturbing

(He grabs a steak knife from the kitchen, deadbolts the door to the workshop, not noticing the smoke has already made contact with the twins, and runs to the front door. Chadeficent is standing there. He charges at them but they use magic to slam him into a wall and keep him there suspended two feet above the floor)

Doug: I always knew you were a dick! I just didn’t think you were this much of a dick

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): that’s pretty big talk coming from a dude with a ponytail. What should I do with him? Sleep is too good for a half breed (Maleficent’s voice) it is your choice my child. He is your enemy after (Chad’s voice, happy) ooh. You’re right ARGH

(Doug has just kicked them in the crotch. This makes them lose concentration and Doug drops to the ground)

Doug: yeah, not only are you a dick. But you have a dick. So. Byee

(He runs to the kitchen deadbolting the door as he goes. He turns around )

Chadeficent (both voices): boo

(They grab him by the neck and throw him through the wall. He lands on Evie’s worktop, smashing it in two)

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): I think I know what to do now

Doug (chuckling through bloodied teeth): what? What could you possibly do that you haven’t already done to me?

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): I was ya roommate. I’ve read ya journal

Doug (terrified): no. No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The smoke knocks him out. And he wakes up in a bathroom at the shool. Chadeficent is staring at him through the full length bathroom mirror. Behind them is Doug’s unconscious body laid out almost peacefully on the floor)

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): see now this what you deserve.

Doug: HELP. HELP. HELP ME. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): oh c’mon dwarf you know that won’t work. They can’t hear you. You’re mute. Like you should be. Just like your idiot father.

(Doug looks like he’s going to throw up)

Doug: why. Why are you doing this

Chadeficent (Chad’s voice): because Ben is wrong. Women and half breeds and and fairies and djins have no place at court. Not in this world. Not in my world. Ooh. Someone’s coming. Best hide. You know what we’re like. How we don’t take well to the different.

(The mirror clouds up and they vanish leaving Doug alone. Chad almost smashes the mirror but he stops)

Chadeficent (Maleficent’s voice): that’s not how we do things. We gloat. And let them suffer. (Chad’s whiny voice) oh but whyuh? (Maleficent’s voice) because. Sooner or later they’ll come back. And he can see her heart break. (Chad’s voice) oooh. I like that. (Maleficent’s voice) come on now dear. Let’s face the king

(Back on the island the girls have just arrived at the lair. And Hadie is making his way to the door)

Hadie (opening the door to the lair): hello boys. Uh ha ha. You’re not Anthony and Grayson.

Mal (smugly): 🎶told ya🎶

Evie (slowly getting more high pitched): I was fourteen I was an idiot and no straight person has a gaydar!

Mal: then why did you say you did?

Evie: BECAUSE I WAS FOURTEEN AND AS I SAID I WAS AN IDIOT

Celia: now we’ve gotten that out of the way. Hadie. Meet your kid sisters. They’re here to see the big man

Hadie: Iris? Hestia?

Mal: I dunno who those people are but I’m Mal. She’s Evie. Where’s our father?

Hadie: dea uh dealing with, stuff. What did Maleficent do this time. I swear if she touched either of you

Mal: vous êtes donc au courant, bien, nous évite d'avoir à expliquer. maintenant, prendre est à notre père afin que nous puissions sauver notre royaume des griffes d'un garçon de salope de base hormonal qui est possédé par la maîtresse de tout mal.

Hadie: je suis à tes ordres, petite soeur

(He lets through the door)

Mal: ooh I like you

Hadie: right back atcha kid

Mal (chuckling sarcastically): ohhhh. I’m eighteen.

Hadie: so you can’t drink

Mal: ah I never said that

Hadie: beer or wine?

Mal: yes please

(They don’t notice that Evie’s sunk down behind a pillar)

Hadie: alrighty then. Dads asleep. Hangover

Mal: of course

Hadie: if you want my help just ask. Loving the highlights by the way.

Mal: I like having a big brother

(Mal goes to the couch where Hades is supposedly sleeping. She almost gets the ember from the coffee table. But hades grabs her hand)

Mal (chuckling nervously): aha. Hey dad?

Hades: Iris? IRIS!!!!

(He pulls her into a crushing bear hug)

Hades (maniacally): HAHAHAHAHAHA

Mal: AHAHAHAHAHAH

Hades: oh I’m so glad to see you. Oh my me I thought I’d killed all four of you. Tell me. Your sister. The boys. Are they ok?

Mal (strained because she’s being crushed by the hug): stop. Hugging me. (He lets her go). Evie’s fine. She’s got soot streaks, she’s hiding behind the pillar at the entrance, don’t think I didn’t see you chicken out E, and she’s insisting I’m wrong. Excuse me. Ahem. HA! I WAS RIGHT. YOU WERE WRONG. HAHA! Where was I? Oh yeah. Ben’s hair is fully purple and he’s growing wings. And jay’s ass, though apparently a tiny bit bruised, or so he says, I don’t really wanna know, is fine. Doug is also fine. We’re good. We’re all good.

Hades: and your brother?

Mal: right behind me. Daydrunk in the satin robe that doesn’t reach his knees

Hadie: I made it when I was 16. Growth spurts.

Mal: ahhh

Hades: your other brother. Probably know him. That doug boy stabbed him last year. Somewhere very tender and bruisable

(His voice drowns out as Mal realises in horror what he means)

Hades: ...I was gonna call him Icarus but his sister on his fathers side, paychotically vile little thing, named him after herself. Harry. I think. Harry Hook. Yeah?

Hadie: yeah. Yah. Yes. Harriet is such a bitch. First child born here. Thinks it gives her a tight to act like a Hera disciple. Oh dear

(Mal’s fainted. Her father and brother put her on the couch and Evie gets over herself and emerges from behind the pillar)

Evie: tell me she’s wrong. Tell me your lying. Tell me that thing, isn’t my brother.

Hades: I don’t lie Hest

Evie: MY NAME IS NOT HESTIA. MY NAME IS EVIE GRIMHILDE. MY MOTHER IS THE EVIL QUEEN. SHE PAID A MALE PROSTITUTE TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH HER EIGHTEEN YEARS AGO And KILLED HIM WHEN SHE FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH ME. THAT IS IT. THAT IS MU HISTORY. I AM NOT THE BASTARD DAUGHTER OF A MORTALISED GOD.

Hades: your mother is a cheapskate (he changes from Sebastian Stan to John Barrowman) and as you can see my dear, I’m very much alive.

Hadie: she’s waking up. You ok kid?

Mal: what happened

Hades: you fainted when I told you Harry hook is your brother.

Mal: oh. Well. I would’ve guessed it eventually. Gods are whores. He’s a whore. It balances out

Hades: thank you for summarising our history so succinctly.

Mal: well it’s true. And why don’t you look like me

Hades: oh. Right. Um. (he changes from John Barrowman to Jesse L Martin) hello heh heh

(He smiles nervously)

Mal: Ahhh. Now that makes sense. And I didn’t faint because of the revelation. Though that is a nauseating concept. My fiancé’s in trouble. I have to get back home.

Hades: of course. Take the ember. It can help. Gods are a step above genie. So if you two Ben and Jay use it together you can burn him from the inside. Uh be careful though. You’re only half god. The boys aren’t even a millionth. It could backfire. Conflagrantly.

Mal: eh. That’s par the course for our plans. C’mon sis

(She start to leave with the other two in tow. But Evie throws out her arm to stop her)

Evie: nuh uh. We’re not going anywhere until we get answers. He owes us that much

(At the docks Facillier is taking a lunch break stroll. A huge plume of water shoots upwards and back down onto the pier drenching him. When the water dissipates Uma’s kneeling in front of him craddiling the barnacle covered Harry in a Pieta pose)

Uma: help me. Please dad. Help me

(In the forest back in Auradon the girls are slowly making progress)

Dizzy: I’m bored

Jane: well I’m sorry Dizz but he’s probably exkecting magic or a vehicle. So you’ll just have to be patient.

Dizzy: There’s not even any food.

Lonnie: time sensitive mission kiddo

Dizzy: I’m nearly fourteen.

Lonnie: meaning.

Dizzy: I want you to teach me how to fight.

Lonnie: really? Well. First things first. Movies. Books. Tv. Forget it. Improper practice. Not conducive to what we need to do. You gotta be gentle. But at the same time. You gotta be tough.

Dizzy: well that’s an oxymoron if I ever heard one

(This is when “lesson number one” happens. Back in Auradon Ben is practicing the violin. This is when “human” happens)

[letterstochristopher]

The worst phone call a sister could ever receive. April 13th. Day 5.

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. And it’s scary to post this online, to be this vulnerable. But I feel compelled to share my experience. I thought maybe it could 1) be therapeutic, and 2) help someone who is dealing with the same thing. Suicide is such a weird subject. People don’t know how to talk about it. But it needs to be talked about. I need to talk about this. Because the sad reality is my family won’t be the last people to deal with this.

Saturday was a day like any other, although it’s so funny to look back as it was the last normal day of my life. My husband Clay, and I went to Starbucks down the street so we could work on taxes, and I studied for my NASM. Afterwards, we ran to Whole Foods to grab some ingredients to make curry. I remember feeling frustrated because I couldn’t figure out a good recipe. The things that would irritate me seem so insignificant now. I wonder if I had known then what I know now, how my day would have been different. I wouldn’t have cared about fucking curry.

We came home that night and watched “Shameless.” My hubby started loving that show recently, and after a few episodes I finally warmed up. This is a ritual of ours, cuddling on our couch in our new living room in Denver with our puppies. Normal. Happy. In the middle of an episode, Clay took the dogs out to walk them, and I decided to head to bed. I was standing in the door of our bedroom when Clay walked back in, talking on the phone. I thought he was talking to his mom, then he said, “Yes, she’s right here.” He handed the phone to me, walked behind me and held me tight. I knew it was my mom calling, and I knew it was something bad. She wouldn’t have called Clay otherwise. She learned the hard way to make sure he was home when she delivered bad news about two years ago, when she called to tell me my beloved Uncle Tim had unexpectedly passed away. That day, Clay had recently left for a bachelor trip out of state, and I was all alone. So I knew something was wrong when she called him first. I took the phone, thinking something happened to one of our dogs. Then I thought maybe it was Dad. My mind was racing. “Mom? Is everything okay?” She was crying, and through her racking sobs she said, “No, Jenn. It’s not okay. Chris shot himself tonight.” My legs collapsed, and I started screaming. Looking back, I don’t know how our neighbors didn’t come pounding on our door. Unless someone you love has died, you can’t possibly imagine the gut-wrenching need to deny that what is being said to you is false. I kept screaming, “NO! NO! NO!” I refused to believe it. I handed the phone to Clay, brushed off my tears and kept saying he was fine. Chris was fine. My baby brother wouldn’t do anything like this. He loves me. He wouldn’t leave me like this. My buddy. My everything. It wasn’t fucking possible. But I knew it happened. It was our biggest fear.

I remember when my mom told me she was pregnant for a third time. It was 1991, and I was in the bath, I remember being super sad because I knew this meant she would have to leave. To put it lightly, I had major abandonment issues as a child (we ended up being adopted by my aunt and uncle-who my siblings and I all call “Mom” and “Dad” now, even though I still have contact with my real momma).  My real mom had been abused as a child, and even with one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever known, couldn’t raise us the way she wanted to.

I actually named Christopher. Mom asked me what his name should be, and I named him after a boy I had a crush on. Christopher James, after his father. CJ was born March 24th, 1992. I had a journal entry in my huge second-grade handwriting where I talked about the birth of my little brother. I wonder what happened to it. I can’t remember her pregnancy, but I do remember looking at CJ in his crib and realizing how much I loved him. He was so tiny, and all I wanted to do was hug, kiss and protect him. Whenever he would sleep in the rocker in the living room, I would put my finger under his nose to make sure he was breathing. I remember laying in bed at night listening to him cry, as my mom tried to soothe him, and being amazed how something so small could scream so loud. I’m not being biased when I say CJ was the world’s most adorable toddler. His son, Carter, looks identical. Chubby, rosy cheeks. One dimple. Big blue eyes. Long eyelashes. Blonde hair. A total cherub. I remember the first time he laughed-he had this blow up clown that was weighted at the bottom so when you punched it, it would pop back up. I was play-fighting it, and CJ just laughed and laughed. I felt like the world’s best big sister.

When I was 11, I moved in with my aunt Anika, uncle, Steve and cousin, Nikea (we now call them Mom, Dad and Sister). My brother and little sister, Bethany, would follow two years later. This was CJ’s cowboy phase. He loved all things cowboy, and had a fake gun he used to “draw” (one of my favorite pictures of him caught him doing this-I think this will be my next tattoo) and had some boots our mom bought him that he wore everywhere, along with his cowboy hat. He always had his Woody from “Toy Story” he carried around. He also had a tiny guitar he would strum out on our front porch, a blade of grass between his teeth, as his cowboy hat shaded his big blue eyes. I remember him crying at night from growing pains, and his little heart breaking when Mom had to shelve the boots since we believed they were causing his poor legs so much pain. He also ground his teeth at night. It was so loud I could hear it through the bedroom walls.

This was the time I was “sissy.” He called me his “sissy,” and I loved it so much. I knew it wouldn’t last forever, so I cherished it. This is also when he couldn’t pronounce “girl,” instead saying “gware.” And when my sister and I would get annoyed and tell him to shut up, he’d get SO mad and yell, “DON’T CALL ME SHUT UP!” I know these are all tiny weird details that most people who didn’t know him don’t care about, but these are the memories I cling to. My sweet, silly little brother.

As CJ got older, we saw more issues in his behavior. He was moody, and had a low frustration tolerance. He had such a huge heart, but like me suffered from depression. My parents always saw it, and did everything they could to help. Therapy. Medication. Letting him know how much they loved him. I had a conversation with him when he was in middle school, begging him to never hurt himself. He hadn’t ever mentioned self-harm, but this was around the time I had started cutting myself and didn’t want the same for my brother. I always had fears of him hurting himself. He cried during this talk, and promised he wouldn’t. But the reality was my brother suffered from what is called Reactive Attachment Disorder, due to our unstable childhood, or RAD. While I have side-stepped a lot of the issues that come along with such a diagnosis, I have always struggled with many of the same things as him. Fears of abandonment. Suicidal thoughts. Depression. Anxiety. I wanted to shelter my brother from all the issues I had. I didn’t want him to feel the way I did. One of life’s cruelest facts is that we can’t protect the ones we love. I tried. We all did. But I couldn’t protect my brother from himself, any more than he could protect me.

A few years back, CJ met a wonderful girl named Bailey who he ended up marrying. You could just see how much he loved her. They had Carter James. But this marriage wouldn’t last, and I think this, plus my brother’s depression and addiction, was too much. It wasn’t just one thing. It was so many things. My brother had hurt his entire life as a result of RAD. He had gotten addictive genes from both sides (his father was an alcoholic), and he tried so hard to stop drinking. We tried to get him to go to AA. When he was home over his birthday March 24th (I wasn’t able to come, which fucking breaks my heart), our grandpa came from Indiana to go to a meeting with him and share his own personal struggles with alcohol when he was a young man. We tried everything. I’ve read through my texts, gone over our conversations so many times, and I am so fucking grateful that I was there for him. I understood the darkness, having struggled with it, too. I told him continuously that I loved him, that we all loved him, that he was so strong, that he could get through this, that he had so much going on for him, that shitty times pass. His texts were so tortured, about how he hated himself, how he was tired of “EVERYTHING,” how he’d be better off dead. That one is the hardest to read. But I told him we needed him here with us, and nowhere else. I was so frustrated with him, that he couldn’t see how worthy of love he was. But I am so grateful I never let that frustration show. I’m so grateful. My one regret is not talking to him more. The last few months I was going through my own issues (financial and health crap), and withdrew from everyone. And I always had a fear he would break my heart. I was scared he would try to hurt himself, but thought a fear of death would keep him from trying anything permanent. I was more scared he would drink himself to liver failure, or run off and we wouldn’t know where he went. I should have told him every day how much I loved him, how much I needed him, that I was so grateful to have him as a little brother and that I cherished him more than anyone in the world. But I think he knew.

Anyone who has lost someone to suicide knows how you go over and over those final moments. It’s torture. But there are some things that have brought me, while I can’t say “relief,” something to hold on to. For one, he didn’t suffer. Two, I think he was so at peace when he ended his life. His text to my mom, sent shortly before, was very well thought out and coherent. My brother always said exactly what he was thinking. If he was feeling tortured it would have shown through that text. He was sober, clearheaded. He just told Mom what he planned to do, said to set up an education fund for Carter, and ended it with “I love you.” Mom said she would send me the text. I told her no. I can’t bear to read my brother’s final goodbye. I just can’t handle it. But I really believe he was feeling at peace because he knew it would be over soon. He would be in Heaven and his heart would cease to hurt. I also know he wasn’t alone for very long. He had texted a girl he was seeing (who I need to reach out to and thank for loving my brother), telling her his plans. She immediately called the cops and they headed over. So when my mom received her text from him and called the cops, they were already on their way. I’ve read horrible stories of loved ones laying alone for days on end. I’m so grateful my brother wasn’t alone for longer than a few minutes.

I believe in Heaven. I’ve had loved ones who have reached out in ways that are unmistakable, which I will talk about another time. And my brother is no different. I was in the kitchen the other day, and this warmth came over me. It’s so hard to describe, but I heard this, “Look after Mom.” It wasn’t an actual voice, but I know it was my brother. He was so protective of us, especially Mom. He wants me to make sure she’s okay. That’s Chris. Being the protector. Thinking about that moment makes me cry, but just because reminds me that he is still looking out for us.

I don’t know how to get through tonight. Or tomorrow. Or the next week. Or the next fucking sixty years. I head home Saturday (flights during the week were far too expensive), and although I’m so ready to be home I know it will make his loss all the more real. He won’t be there. I know I’ll be expecting to see his lanky frame walking in front of the windows as he approaches the front door. Dad is going to Minnesota to collect his things. He didn’t have much, which I’m grateful for. It’ll be hard enough to go through all his clothes. Mom said she can do it, but I need to help. I’m his big sister. And I’m absolutely dreading seeing his urn. They will ship it. It’s weird to think of my tall brother (he was 6 ft) in an urn. But I have to keep reminding myself that’s not him. Our bodies are not us. We are not our bodies, our emotions, our hurts, our brain chemistry. My brother’s soul is here with me now. THAT is him. But as I write this, I am trying to find out the name of the crematorium where he is so I can get some of his hair. And I’m so scared they will say it’s too late. Or that there was none left. I don’t know if I can handle that.

How do I go on? How do I keep breathing when the person I love the most is gone? In one text I found today, I promised him I would always love him and never abandon him. But he abandoned me. I’m not angry with him-I understand why he did it. And I rejoice knowing he no longer hurts and is happy and well taken care of. But he did leave me. His big sister. He didn’t even text me goodbye. I don’t know if that would have made it better or worse. Part of me hopes he wasn’t thinking of me while he sat on that couch. But I know he was.

Chris, I miss you. So much. I don’t know how to keep breathing. I know I have to, because I don’t have a choice. It’s not fair. Why do I have to keep living when you’re gone? I don’t know how to do this. I need you. I love you. I love you. I love you.