#FOFposting

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

Fire On Fire Chapter 21: Life & Death

"Ghost" by Halsey You say that you're no good for me / 'cause I'm always tugging at your sleeve / And I swear I hate you when you leave / but I like it anyway

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

Hey hey! Just saying that, as someone who doesn't read very many OC stories, I love reading Fire on Fire :) I can safely say that, during the war, I would definitely be an OSS agent like Alix. Speaking of Alix, how did she join the OSS? Did someone recommend her? Or did she decide to join by herself? Thanks for your time.

Hello, my lovely!!

Thank you so much for the compliment!! I'm so glad you're enjoying so far! 💖 I nerd out a lil bit so all answers will be below the cut for simplicity's sake!

So Alix was recruited in a way that a lot of early agents were, which was basically Bill Donovan (the head of the OSS) scouting prestigious schools for highly intelligent, affluent people from socially prominent families who had done some traveling abroad in the past or had family in Europe!

Alix's father being the head of a prominent Philadelphia oil company and her mother being a socialite from one of the so-called "First Families of Virginia" means that they could afford to send her to a prestigious finishing school where she would naturally be taught multiple languages as well as social graces, all of which was exactly the sort of candidate that people like Bill Donovan were looking for.

Not to mention, Donovan also used to rely somewhat on people within his own inner circle in the business world so the fact that he and Alix's dad knew each other briefly also contributes to Alix's name coming to the forefront in terms of potential candidates for recruitment!

Funnily enough though, this type of recruitment process was not necessary for "floaters" aka temporary non-agents with specific skills that were sent into the field to assist actual agents with assignments! Floaters were just kinda briefed and thrown into the fire lol.

(Also just a lil side note but even once candidates were recruited, they were not told what exactly they would be doing. There was 0 info about their preparation process; they were simply asked in the vaguest way possible if they were interested in doing "dangerous work to support the war effort" and if they said Yes, then they were shipped off to Camp X or wherever for training. Nobody was informed that they were going to be facing the very real possibility of brutal torture and death.)

Thank you so much for the questions, my lovely!! 💖💖💖

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

Hiya Bestie! 💕 For the director's cut game, I've been dying to know about Joe's relationship with Alix's friend group. There was a little mention of him interacting with them while Alix was gone, and I'd love to know more about their dynamic if you're down to share :)

Ooh this is such a good question!! It's gonna be addressed much more in later chapters too bc I'm a sucker for psychology!! 🤭

Liebgott + Skip + Don Relationship Psychoanalysis below the cut!!

So Joe is an interesting case bc he grew up SURROUNDED by family & we see him assume the role of Caretaker multiple times throughout the show, most notably with Tipper, when Tab gets gored, when Alley is wounded, & at the concentration camp later on.

The caring side of him is automatic-- it derives from being the oldest of so many siblings, the man of the family when his dad's at work. He's always been the Protector, the Caretaker etc.

He is as fierce a lover as he is a fighter bc both come from the same place: his compassionate heart! He can't help but care about people and as Eugene Sledge wrote in his book, it's the ones with empathy that suffer the most during wartime.🥺

As the war progresses, we see Joe starts to go against his own nature. We see him learn to shut the kinder side of himself down. He has to-- As Winters wrote in his book, Joe was one of Easy Company's "designated killers".

Imagine for one second the weight of that label on a person. You need someone executed, you call Joe. Joe is the one Resistance members use as a threat during interrogations-- he's the attack dog, he kills on command.

What does a normal human being have to do to become psychologically okay with that? How much of himself did he lose? What does a job like that do to a person over time?

Alix & Joe are very similar but they fork in that regard:

Alix lets her emotions lead as an act of rebellion against a system that has tried to rob her of them + tries to pull away from that label of "Killer" whereas Joe shuts down & leans into it. He does what he has to do. He is a good soldier.

He lets his anger (which is really just compounded self-loathing) drive him, becoming a bit of a Lone Wolf in the process.

The angrier Joe becomes, the more he lashes out.

The more he lashes out, the more he hates himself.

And the cycle just continues.

He knows it & he HATES it. There's a reason he abandons his old name in favor of an old family nickname, tries to avoid the Easy Co. reunions at all costs, & refuses to talk about the war until he's practically on his deathbed.

Joe DESPISES the person he used to be, the person the war made him.

AND THEN THERE'S OUR BELOVED SUNSHINE BOY, SKIP.

So Skip starts in a similar position but ends up in a VERY different place!

Like Joe, he grew up as the Caretaker figure in his family. He didn't face any discrimination growing up tho-- which obviously had a major effect on Joe-- but there's no doubt Skip is upset about the suffering he sees throughout the war. Any decent human being would be, ESPECIALLY someone with a heart as big as Skip's.

BUT unlike Joe, we never see Skip angry or upset for long.

Skip's outlook is UNFAILINGLY positive bc he knows if he allows himself to sink into that place of rage even for a moment, he'll never get out.

And as an NCO, Skip feels a responsibility for the morale of his squad. He knows people are depending on him, he knows the younger guys are watching him, so when he feels down, he makes the choice to lift others up instead.

Even in his letters, when he writes about feeling down, it's very quick mentions here & there. He refuses to let himself have more than a second or two of anger or self-pity BUT at the same time, does not allow the war to strip him of his humanity or compassion. He's been an optimist his whole life & even in the worst of times, he refuses to let the war take that from him.

SO

Subconsciously, when Joe looks at Skip, he sees the person he could have been, if life had been kinder. If he had made the same kinds of choices instead of hardening his heart to survive.

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood", so to speak.

And he wants to protect that in Skip at all costs.

In a similar vein, subconsciously, with Don, I think Joe sees his little brother -- This carefree, mischievous, bright spark of a boy with adventure in his soul. Joe's younger siblings got to have a childhood-- he never really did. So he sees the same light in Don that he sees in his younger siblings, & as he did growing up, Joe will shoulder whatever burdens he needs to in order to protect that.

Thank you so much for the Ask, my Dovely!! Sorry this kinda turned into a book lol💖

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

Lewis Nixon for the playlist ask game, if you want! He’s portrayed in such a fascinating way, and also you write him so good, so coming up with songs for him could be fun 💜

Btw, a song that always reminds me of him is “Gonna Wait For You” by The Pentagons. It’s on YouTube, don’t think it’s on Spotify. Not really sure why I associate it with him, but thought I’d share! Hope you’re doing good 💕 I’m sooo busy atm so I’m not on tumblr much these days, but thought I’d pop in with this before disappearing again, lol.

🌰anon

Ooh hello again, my dear Nut Anon!! I've missed you & I hope life is treating you well!! 😁

[I had way too much fun with this one bc I love getting to lean into Nix's inner complexities🤌🏼]

1.) "Achilles Come Down" ~ Gang of Youths

"You are absent of cause or excuse. So self-indulgent & self-referential, no audience could ever want you You crave the applause yet hate the attention, then miss it. Your act is a ruse."

2.) "Eyes on the Prize I" ~ Spies Are Forever

"Although I may be hard on you, I'm only trying to help and I know that my past actions have not shown you how I felt. You're a master of deception, a gentleman of stealth... Just don't screw up and die on me, or I'll kill you myself!"

3.) "Another Terrible Day" ~ The Lightning Thief Musical

"Oh, you're alive. I suppose that's good news for you but it means a lot more paperwork for me so don't expect me to be happy to see you. Of course, being alive is temporary..." "Another terrible day... You can hate it here but I hated it first! Just another terrible day, stuck with these runts in the muck and mud... I need a drink."

4.) "The Cave" ~ Mumford & Sons

"I know my call, despite my faults & despite my growing fear. But I will hold onto hope & I won't let you choke on the noose around your neck. I'll find strength in pain & I will change my ways I'll know my name as it's called again."

5.) "Are You There" ~ All Time Low

"Where do you turn when the drugs run out & it's 3 AM & you're comin' down? All your friends are asleep 'cause they're all okay & you need someone, but you don't wanna say"

Thank you so much for the Ask, my dear!! 💖

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

18 & 27 for Alix in the psychology ask game! :)

♥ 18: What kind of intrapersonal values does your OC have? (values about their self, what makes them feel like a valid person)

Alix has a very strong sense of justice that I think really defines her character! She wants so badly to do "the right thing" but it's very difficult for her to reconcile those values with her line of work when she feels a fierce loyalty to the people she interacts with.

♥ 27: Does your OC practice any kind of escapism? If yes, what kind?

Dancing!! Alix would live to sneak off to the dance halls when she was at school. She was a great dancer and the atmosphere, the music, the people all make her feel alive

Thank you for the Ask, Poe!! 💖

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

Feeling devious in the establishment today bc I came up with the most Gutwrenching plot twist for FOF & y'all are gonna kill me 🧘🏻‍♀️🫶🏼

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

Hey there bestie! 11, 12, and 19 for the lovely Alix in regards to the phycology ask game? 😁

Omg, I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this!! I've been ripping up Chapter 20 like old carpet lol 💀

♥ 11: How would your OC react to hearing they’re adopted?

Honestly, Alix would be relieved. As the black sheep of the family, Gio is really the only one she cares about anyway & their connection is as much friends as siblings so it's not like that would be lost.

♥ 12: What is one of the most primary things your OC feels that is missing from their life?

Freedom & Peace, 2 things that are inextricably linked. Her mother always said that Alix inherited her father's restless spirit and in that regard, she was certainly correct. Alix has never been content anywhere; she is always striving for something more.

Leaving the constraints of home behind for the constraints of the OSS feels like flying from one cage straight into another and she would give anything to be able to just be truly free, to be able to choose her own life and be satisfied.

♥ 19: What boosts your OC’s confidence the most?

Alix loves getting dolled up! Her parents may not like her clothing choices but she sure does!

(And getting to be Miss July for the Esquire calendar certainly didn't hurt either 🤭)

Thank you so much for the ask, bestie!! 💖

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

Hey Bestie! Could I humbly as 1, 7 and 8 (for Queen Alix 😌) for the oc game? 💖

Of course, bestie!! 😁

1. Who is your oldest OC from creation?

So before I even had even decided on their names, I had the Alix + Gio dynamic already written in my head! Idk, but like, Golden Boy Big Brother + Black Sheep Lil Sis just hits different, like "Superboy & the Invisible Girl"- style 😌🤌🏼

7. What was the most difficult thing about this OC?

I'd say 2 things: her speech pattern & the constraints of her job!

When I'm editing, I keep catching myself accidentally slipping into either my Valley Girl dialect or using lil Southernisms & I have to go back to rewrite it. 😆

And female agents were largely couriers during this time bc agencies both in the US & in Britain seemed to have difficulty trusting female agents to do serious fieldwork, except when backed into a corner.

The only reason Hannie Schaft & Freddie Oversteegen were able to become honeytrap assassins was because they were free agents working for the Dutch Resistance.

So in order to give Alix more agency, I had to speed up the espionage timeframe a bit to the Soviet Swallow Program (which began unofficially in the late 40s) during the era of Cold War Espionage when women were finally being entrusted with more overtly dangerous missions!

8. What do you like most about this OC?

How she doesn't let her line of work kill the empathetic person she is underneath (even tho she thinks it has)!

She has a cynical exterior & is generally critical of everything (ESPECIALLY herself) but with a warmhearted interior!

She may not think it matters WHY she takes lives (bc it's still killing people, at the end of the day) but it does matter. What she does, she does to protect others; she is not the soulless killing machine she believes she is & nowhere is that more evident than the way she behaves around Joe, Skip, Don, & even Nix at times as well as in Eindhoven when women she didn't even know were being mistreated.

Thank you for the Ask, Dovely!! 💖

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

There is no need to apologize for taking so long to get us the new chapter. We are so appreciative of all the work you've put into this. It's been a little over a year since the first chapter, and you are at 84,610 words, which would be anywhere between 282 to 338 pages in a book. This is such a big accomplishment! Especially considering this is the first project you worked on in years. I am so proud of you!!!!

Awww thank you so much, Anon!! 🥹💖

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

i’m rereading Fire on Fire rn and this passage “Someone as handsome and charming as him probably already had a sweetheart back home, maybe several, all sending him flowery love letters and photographs for him to keep with him and sending wishes for his safe return.” omg. the parallel to the later chapters😭😭😭😭 i love this story, ur writing, and alix sm🫶🫶🥰🥰

Omg Anon, I am so sorry I am just now getting to this!! I have been offline for longer than I expected but I am back, babey!! 🤌🏽

And yes, in this house we love parallels, even especially when they hurt!! 💀

Thank you so much for the Ask & the compliments, my lovely!! 💖💖💖

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

This has probably been asked before, but who’s the girl in the pictures on Fire On Fire? The one who’s meant to be Alix? She’s absolutely beautiful but I haven’t seen her before. Your writing is so, so good btw, I just love it 💜

Ooh actually no, no one's ever asked!!

So the photo on the masterlist is Maggie Lindemann (ik it doesn't look like her lol; it was only one photoshoot 🤭) but the main faceclaim I use is a Turkish actress named Hande Erçel! 😊

Thank you so much for the question + compliments, Anon!! 💖

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

Thinking about Her (French Spy Alix D'Unienville) 🧘🏻‍♀️

If you couldn't tell by the name, she is one of the many incredible female agents whose work inspired FOF!! 🫡💖

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

Okay, was no one gonna tell me that some WW2 Era nurses had sweatshirts/coats with hoods or was I just supposed to keep editing the hoods off of Alix's jackets forever ? 😭💀

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

11 & 14 for Alix for the OC game :)

Ooh sure thing, babes!!

11. What makes you the most different from this OC?

Lots of things, for sure, but I think one of the biggest things is that Alix is a lot more comfortable with the physical products of violence.

Like when she trains for her cover, she has no issue with blood, shit, or guts or any of that. She'd probably be okay performing a surgery even, if she didn't think she'd fuck it up. It's just the moral implications of her trauma & her job that fuck with her not the physical results.

Me on the other hand, I'm a very squeamish person lol so, like, even crime scene photos gross me out 😭

14. Name a fact about this OC that you have not written before.

Alix's biggest idol is Jane Russell! She had the pinup model/actress's movie posters plastered all over her dorm room walls as motivation. After the war, she hopes to be able to make the transition from modeling to acting like Russell did!

Her best friend at boarding school, Lavinia Joy, was able to get her in touch with a pinup artist in town which is how she got her first gig! That was something Alix would always be grateful for, even though the two were never super close.

Thanks for the Ask, dear!! 😁