#FataMoru Light Novel

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fatamoru spoilers (up to final door)

i want to talk about… the unexpected dynamics! (or interpretation) and also characters relationship with hope. I NEED TO RANT!!

the last door

very obviously, pauline/maria first as childhood friends strikes first. i also appreciated pauline teasing mell (maybe on the meta level that’s why javi from door 2 isn’t here—or on the story level his soul possibly wasn’t bound to the mansion but rather circumstances, being here at the right time or something or the sort). and the discussion between michel/yukimasa, bonding over their ‘unusual’ appearance and resulting weird looks or rejection.

michel and morgana

it makes me wanna bawl when i think about the possible innuendo that michel eventually views morgana as a friend but also an extension of his family. i didn’t catch this at first read but the fact that he is willing to depict her along him and his brothers on georges’ painting… fatamoru hits very strongly even in its details. i’m such a sucker for the ‘found family’ trope—kindred spirits where blood isn’t what ties them together in the first place.

i won’t go back on morgana’s admiration (or should i say idolization? adoration?) for michel, as her severed soul is modeled after him and her saintly persona, that is something the og game describes well. i just want to point out one thing: morgana’s christian upbringing and beliefs from her time prevent her from cursing her birth mother and other stuff (e.g. the WHG reminding God’s teaching about killing oneself). she does not only project her ideal self on michel, but also her desires by proxy—part of why she’s so insistent on him deserving revenge on the Bollingers and not understanding why he wouldn’t find joy in it.

giselle and witch morgana

the cocoon concept from hayden (hiding your true self and risking to lose yourself to your persona) and morgana’s gaslighting to the maid weren’t ultimately good and broke her spirit, but at the same time i don’t think they were ill-intentioned—that’s what i really like about this novel. morgana’s natural way of viewing the world, as a bleak and painful place where smiles are filled with betrayal, is very pessimistic, but that’s how she copes and somehow appears as the best way of thinking. she tries to convey those beliefs into the maid, out of annoyance (bc giselle is very lighthearted and optimistic as it gets) at first. however, she takes a liking to her. it is a way to ‘protect’ giselle’s heart, just like the cocoon.

morgana does not act in giselle’s best interest, she trusts that what worked for her will also do the job for her attendant, but that’s what breaks giselle in the end. because the latter grows in hope, in light, in truth ; not in illusions and dissociation (e.g. morgana’s fractured soul resulting in the WHG’s creation, and convincing herself she doesn’t belong in the realm of humans—both as a saint and witch). morgana is being self-conceited, to the point that her idea of ‘helping’ is twisting giselle’s core into the maid and discarding humanity.

despair truly results in tunnel vision and losing sight of what you are in essence, even accepting the horrors. that is something that is very well explored by all the characters in fata morgana.

i do find morgana/giselle’s relationship very interesting. the witch tries to mold giselle into her puppet, the conductor of the mansion’s tragedies, and ultimately as an observer to distance herself from the horrors (hence the famous ‘you were able to bear them because they weren’t your tragedies’). morgana calls giselle foolish a few memorable times, and while i think she means it, there’s also a tinge of affection? plus the door 4 aka illusion door to make everyone feel better, was also made for giselle… it’s complicated.

resistance

morgana is still very firmly opposed to michel and giselle’s reunion at first: what place does happiness have in this mansion? what do they have that she does not and makes it okay? the moment she’d reach the answer, it would mean that she is wrong for not casting aside her spitefulness. that is why she doesn’t want it.

the witch ultimately longs for companionship, she even makes a deal to both of them to curse the three men alongside her. she wants to partake in despair. she believes that is what is right.

but neither michel nor giselle were fit for that role, for they are compassionate, for they were able to give each other a second chance and believe in a newfound love. they do not hold a grudge, they do not find solace in that, that is why it fails!

despite their failings, they’re able to communicate. they are far from being perfect (their misunderstandings stem from their insecurities and secrets), but they’re able to reassure each other, they’re willing to listen and accept the stories of other people. that’s how they’re able to save morgana and the souls.

that makes me think of the key difference between morgana and michel/giselle. the later, with their own share of suffering and traumas, are willing to cast aside their bitterness and focus on finding new ways to live, for different reasons.

michel is forgiving, as long as the people who wrong him expressed their will to repent. he will treasure the good memories, and not let traumas tarnish them: he will try to understand.

giselle does not hold a grudge because she wants to put that energy elsewhere—into reconstructing herself and enjoying life to the fullest. that is true to her character.

to conclude

i love how each person has a very legitimate, and sensible motivation and do not excuse everything. and how you cannot equate characters to their wrongs ; while also holding them accountable for what they’ve done. you can reason other people’s pain, while also respecting yourself. a simple message, yet, very difficult to deliver rightly. and fatamoru just does that, it trusts you to understand it.

[meimae]

12/05/21

Just....how does it make sense that I have the patience to read 40,000 characters of a JP visual novel in 3-4 hours (with breaks), but can't stand reading 5,000-10,000 characters of a JP (light) novel that would take me only an hour?

Seriously, I've managed to read 1M+ VN characters (with punctuation) already. That's around 10 (light) novels worth of reading. I should really just soldier on and read novels. As a self-professed bookworm this is embarrassing!

VN's are a lot more 面倒臭い to set up, too. I need to have four apps running to get the perfect reading-mining set-up. Novels are far easier (manga even more so), since I only have to open a html file in a browser with yomichan on my phone, and I could essentially read anywhere (and mine later).

Is it the visuals? Voiced lines (probably not this, fatamoru is not voiced but I'm doing fine)? Am I just being silly again?

In other news, I'm getting swamped by Anki reviews again. The knowledge that I have so many words learned to a poor level is disconcerting. Had to reset my grammar deck too, because I felt really bad about maturing multiple grammar points far into the future when I feel like I haven't encountered them in my immersion enough yet. The grind never stops, y'all.

[aseriaa]

metapharus replied to your post: The House in Fata Morgana – Unboxing

That is one awesome collection! And YOOO THOSE FANBOOK AND LIGHT NOVEL CGs ESPECIALLY GxM!!! Thank you for sharing!! <3 Sorry to hear about the missing drama CD though. :(

Ayyyy my fatamoru tumblr friend ;) But aww no problem!! Yeah.. I’ve pretty much accepted that it’s lost at sea and it’s sooo depressing sobs 

AND YASSSS THOSE OTP CGS ARE LIFE 

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