#Frustration Reduction
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Simple Ways to Communicate with Dementia Patients

Supporting individuals with Alzheimer’s or dementia requires patience, empathy, and clear communication. Caregivers providing home care services in Vermont play a crucial role in fostering meaningful interactions. Here are practical strategies to improve communication with dementia patients.
Learn More: https://www.hopehomecarevt.com/simple-ways-to-communicate-with-dementia-patients
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#carlos sainz#autumn posts#loml!!! ❤️💫#hi everyone!!!! sorry I've been gone for a while!!#I missed SO much OMGGG so much has happened!! 🥺 I'll be reblogging to catch up on Carlos' modeling adventures and Enchanté rosé today + more#I have some saved Milan moments too and tewe stek moments that now feel so long ago haha!! omg the gp is NEXT WEEK??#😭❤️ so hyped#ahhh tbh I sped through dts just to see it for myself#so reductive and frustrating on so many levels#some lovely moments though and thanks to everyone for capturing them in lovely clips and beautiful gifs ❤️#I'll focus on the good but wow... very frustrating editing#anyways I won't ramble here much!!!#as I'm want to do only always#sending everyone lots of well wishes ❤️#and ahhh this video for these gifs#his hand in his hair and his laugh and the way he says he was thinking 'wild things'#😵💫💦✨ good god#he's barefoot and pregnant in my mind palace's kitchen rn wearing only that ill fitting Williams apron#I shall stop there 🙂↕️✨
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love and light to everyone but if i see one more post that’s like “the point of asoiaf is that feudalism is BAD” i’m going to rip out my hair and start eating dirt and worms. like yes, it is bad. yes, monarchies are bad. yes so true it’s annoying when people ignore all of that and focus on who they think deserves the throne more. but that’s not the point—that is the premise? it’s the beginning of the exploration and deconstruction. functionally this system is rigid (specifically in terms of gender and class) and horrifically violent: so what it’s really like to live in it? to try to be a hero, a knight, to be a lady in a world where your body belongs to your family, your lord, your order? is it possible to be a good person in a hierarchal world like this, with such vast power imbalances woven throughout it and every relationship and interaction that you have informed by that? how do you navigate that imbalance in order to have meaningful relationships—can you every truly do it? and who decides what is good? how do you know if it’s truly right or it just felt right because it’s what you wanted to do? what about the people who have no name, no family, no order: what happens to them? don’t they matter? what if in a lifetime of looking the other way or actively causing others harm, you do a few things—maybe one thing—that’s objectively good: does it mean anything? does it matter, even if no one ever knows? what if the best thing you ever did broke every vow you made, every law that governs your society? how do you live with that dissonance?
what’s it like to be a ruler, to be a king or queen—is it possible to be a good one in such an unequal system? to wield power justly? who decides what is just? who decides who should rule? at which point does the amount of power someone can have cross the line into too much? is it when you stop trying to figure out how to use it correctly and worry only about how to keep it? if holding onto it costs you everything, your family and all your relationships, is it still worth it? what if having that much power available is necessary to the survival of your people, maybe even your world, but when it’s misused the carnage left behind is beyond articulation—is it still worth it? are the lives it saves worth the lives it took? how do you measure that? who carries the weight of that choice and how? how do you live with it? how do you go on living in a world that can be harsh and cruel and unfair, a world where your good intentions and your personhood seem to matter very little in the face of someone else’s greed or when compared to the yoke of your duty? and the questions never stop and the answers when and if they come are rarely easy, but the point is that you keep asking and keep trying because that’s what it means to be alive lol
#the ‘[whatever] is BAD’ pov is a totally understandable reaction to ppl fighting over the iron throne i do get that#but it’s SO reductive and especially since hotd aired i see it everywhere#and it’s like that’s not the point?? the point is… what are aragorn’s tax policies. u know?#also. it’s very much possible to recognize the flaws of the system and still feel frustrated for say rhaenyra or rhaenys or cersei#it’s correct to read this in the voice and cadence of jonathan frakes btw#asoiaf#txt
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i am literally not even halfway done with the book but so far i'm not super sure i actually agree with that fandom consensus that celene/briala belong in the "bioware writers are weird about gay women" category. so far the only thing celene has in common with marjolaine and branka is that she was a VERY BAD lover
#i mean i understand the meat of the critique right. that bioware plays into the ''predatory lesbian'' to such an extent it reflects.#a problem. with how the writers view gay women.#but the issue with marjolaine and branka was like. 1) their gayness was played for shock value and ONLY shock value#2) they were so comically evil in a game that usually tries to be more nuanced about abuse dynamics it was absurd#and 3) their relationships were deliberately portrayed in an manner where one woman (the more assertive/less traditionally''feminine'')#was exploiting and preying on the other (the softer and naive one who was just blinded by love)#not to mention that insanity with both marjolaine and branka cheating on their partners with men (ok branka cheated on the man but ykwim)#idk celene and briala definitely are not HEALTHY by any stretch of the imagination#and i think theres a conversation to be had about how long it took to have a ''fluffy'' wlw couple#but i think lumping them in as an example of ''wlw done Wrong'' is actually far more reductive and harmful than people realize#i mean we're in the ''yay toxic yuri ^_^'' era of tumblr right now but unironically exploring these dynamics IS a good thing#so long as its done in a meaningful/nuanced way#celene works i think because as a reader you're able to empathize with her and understand her and Like her even despite the horrible things#shes done#plus the love between her and briala is very very real and very palpable in all of their interactions right#i don't think asking bioware to put wlw on this pedestal of purity is very helpful in the longterm even if i do understand the frustration#idk.
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very very quietly. don’t you think the happiness bar is just reinforcing fed control over the residents. i see what the people say from a meta perspective that it’s frustrating that they’ve survived so long without tasks and now they need them again and . may i imply. they never Needed any tasks in the first place. tasks have from day one been a way for the federation to exert its power. do as we say or your eggs ‘die’ and not even like immediately we’ll give you ten minutes (don’t forget how kind we are) because we have the utmost power and control here. katniss remember who the real enemy is
#eleanor.txt#qsmp#like. i Get it but there’s also a bigger picture#the happiness bar isn’t just a meta device! it’s an in-universe control tactic from the feds!!#as qroier said . wake up! wake up#anyway i think analyzing the happiness bar without taking into account that the federation is also an entity/character with motives—#— is vaguely reductive. because as much as it’s frustrating the fed also has to stay in character
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You definitely feel [Ja'Marr's] presence, it was nice having him back out there. You know he's a guy that always brings energy, always is talking to guys, whether it's about executing the play that's being run or whether it's just providing some fun and some energy. You know he's a happy-go-lucky kind of guy that you love being around. So it's always good to have him back.
#no but talking about ja'marr being 'happy-go-lucky' while joe seems to be so bummed out about his situation 🥺#i always hesitate to go /too far/ into the grumpy/sunshine dynamic with these two because i do think it's reductive#like they both have an edge to them and they both have a goofy side#but that being said!#sometimes it is a major part of their deal - and i love those moments#ja'marr bringing happiness and energy to practices that are probably frustrating to joe in a lot of ways#the relief that that must be!#AND AND#the way this quote so perfectly mirrors ja'marr's from last year#about joe's presence at practice! and the energy /he/ brings!!#ahhhhhh!#joe burrow#ja'marr chase
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i think i can sum up my thoughts towards most media analysis we encounter lately as "stop painting the curtains blue just because you like that color more".
#leo chirps#this has been in my drafts for a while#i want to elaborate on it more but keep struggling with wording bc i unfortunately come off very aggressive#but the main point is 'if you want something to be about [x] you will only see evidence that supports that reading'#and how that can completely disregard the rest of the emotional context or other angles that are just as interesting#or well. reading isnt the right term bc thats more for intentional reinterpretation i think#this annoyance is more towards trying to say This Is 100% What It's About while missing the point#i am not immune to this! i have also done this#but there is a specific Thing that has become a growing frustration#and that thing is 'i like this theme so i will hammer media i like into fitting that theme'#and there is evidence supporting that theme! but there is so much beyond that as well#it feels so reductive
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its really specific and kind of petty but I hate being able to do something cool but because I'm not a conventionally attractive cis woman if I posted a video of me doing it it'd get like ten notes but if I was 5'4" with a full chest and a slim figure it'd be at like 140k notes. Part of me is like yeah Idc I don't want the attention but another part of me is like well I'm mad that if I did it wouldn't go anywhere bc of that.
#smokey talks#like the rope dart video or the girl blowing out candles with swords and stuff#i know that most of the viewership on those things are like... gross dudes who r like oooh yeah girl do thing....#but the fact that i cant share my skills or take joy in my hobbies publicly without being seen as a 'violent man' bc im trans is#incredibly frustrating#and also maybe its just the depression talking but. it really does not feel good when its like. doing the same thing and ppl r like#ew no one cares#but then a pretty cis lady does it and everyones like ooooh tell me moreeee#'shes so hottt not to be a lesbian but omg'#and it also feels like. ppl r being reductive of the talent displayed in the videos bc they always have to qualify:#like. 'i bet u didnt think a GIRL could do this.' when u should be like. wow this person is skilled#idk im just rambling i just wish someone would take interest in my hobbies#but the only community in my hobbies is wildly transphobic. so i cant even go there really#anyway ignore this im just rambling
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Viktor is a really kind and gentle man, despite it all.
He has so many good reasons to be angry, he deserves to be angry, but he's not. He's not--and it could be due to repression and/or oppression, either he's not letting himself be angry or he knows he can't afford to be angry, or both.
I feel like the "angry/mean disabled guy" trope (a la House MD) is really popular, and with how dry Viktor's sense of humor is and how much he puts up with, it's tempting to slot him into that trope. (I have mixed feelings about that trope). Viktor does have a dry sense of humor, and sometimes he rubs people the wrong way, but he never seems to do it on purpose and apologizes when he does (see: being genuinely surprised and remorseful when Jayce accuses him of mocking him). The "meanest" we ever see him be is being brusque with Jayce and slapping his hand away.
He and Jayce really like, trust, and respect each other, which is what makes the moments where that trust is broken hurt them both so much.
I think it's tragic that he never allows himself/is allowed to express his anger, resentment, bitterness, etc, and constantly hiding his problems is what kills Sky, to his horror. I can imagine a Viktor that did end up cruel and vindictive, but that's just not the character we see. At his very worst, he's controlling and ruthless but motivated by despair, not hatred.
The commune, his power fantasy, is him being able to help people and "fix" the things that he struggled with and not got support for. He is a kind man who wants good things for other people.
#idk i just think. that making viktor a bitch is really reductive and inaccurate#arcane#viktor arcane#this is about viktor as we see him in arcane to be clear#this isn't super organized but i see a lot of Bitchy Viktor fandom content and it makes me feel frustrated#he would not be mean!
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#i am suddenly feeling the most dysphoric i have ever felt in my entire life#part of me hates myself for being trans#but then i know that i don't /hate/ myself for being trans#i am just frustrated i can't be comfortable in my own skin and the only person in my immediate family don't understand or are hateful jerks#i just want my top surgery and hrt and i want to be satisfied in life#i keep having my chances of top surgery (or just a reduction) taken away from me#and no one understands#i've wanted this since i was 14 or 15#i don't care if my brain isn't fully developed#i hate this part of my body and all the troubles it brings me#i can't leave california until i get this done bcs california is (so far) the safest place i can get this done#and it is cost effective#i'm just tired#i'm losing my main pillar of mental support soon and i hate ittt
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While I'm talking about DR3 and its handling of themes, does anyone else feel like danganronpa's ideas of 'hope' and 'despair' became a bit flanderised sometimes?
I could be reaching- the series has always been incredibly hammy in how it uses the terms- but in DR1 they still felt somewhat grounded in the words' actual definitions and in DR2 Komaeda fixating on an abstracted conflict between 'hope' and 'despair' was presented as a bad thing. Thinking 'hope' is synonymous with 'talent' was part of the problem, but even without that he'd feel like an intentional twisted parody of Naegi. He takes the thematic conflict between hope and despair too literally; to him the concepts were less states of mind, more grand causes, and so no amount of suffering became unacceptable to him if it made for a more interesting narrative in the end.
But sometimes later additions to the series... kind of sound like him? Maybe I should revisit DR3 and give it more of a chance, but I felt like the entire narrative approached 'hope' and 'despair' in some of the ways Komaeda does. Like it kept throwing those words at me as a substitute for actual depth, because hey, it's Danganronpa, right? That's what you're here for, right? Especially considering how little interest the writers showed in non-Ultimates besides Hinata as people, making 'hope' feel genuinely associated with talent to some degree.
Similarly, in DRV3, what did it mean for the survivors to reject both hope and despair? Stripped of those words, their choice was to break out of the narrative's control, not let their reality being potentially fake get to them, and face the unknown together. Is that not 'hope'? Is that not emotionally identical to both previous games' endings? Does that not make the game's use of 'hope' completely divorced from its meaning?
If the themes were handled more coherently I could see that being done intentionally- exploring whether the series started with a good message and lost its way, and/or asking whether 'hope' is hollow if your struggles, your eventual triumph over them, everything was contrived for others' entertainment- but I feel like if that was the case the DRV3 characters should reclaim hope and reject false definitions or exploitation of it instead of rejecting hope itself. Because again, with feeling, what does that mean???
#.txt#danganronpa#hope this is coherent LMAO#since i'm being really critical of dr3 no shade to anyone that likes it obviously (i feel like that should go without saying)#or drv3's ending but criticising that isn't a hot take at all#buuuut yeah! it's been years so definitely feel free to counter me if you feel like i'm being reductive#also i watched 2.5 for the first time last night and its handling of hope was... better? but it still runs into issues of like...#having all of this focus on komaeda as a character and confirming/elaborating on some nuances of him but then#not really doing anything with that. he has friends who care about him now but kind of had them handed to him via regained memories instead#of facing consequences for his actions in dr2 and/or being forced to unpack his coping mechanism at all.#that's a tangent but it frustrates me as a stan of his haha; i really really like how a fic called Equivalence handles dr2 postgame instead#it's unfortunately dead since 2016 but still altered my brain chemistry
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At the bus stop one time there was a gaggle of preschoolers waiting to catch the bus for a field trip day, and someone walked past with a couple of friendly little dogs, to great general delight.
But after a little bit, the dogs were getting overwhelmed, and the preschoolers were gently coaxed to back off so the person with the dogs could continue on. Specifically, one of the preschool teachers said, "Sometimes, when you're small, being surrounded by big people can be a bit scary and overwhelming. Even if they are friendly."
This was recieved as great wisdom: after all, the preschoolers were also small, and understood how scary and overwhelming big people could be! And the dogs were indeed even smaller than the preschoolers, so it made sense.
What was funny and charming was that, upon absorbing and reflecting on this wisdom, they all felt the need to tell it to one another. In tones of great insight, they turned to one another and said, "Did you know? Sometimes when you are small, being surrounded by big people can be scary and overwhelming! Even if they are friendly!" Back and forth, without any particular concern that they were all saying the same thing. Have reached comprehension of an insight, it must be shared!
I must say that this behavior is less charming in tumblr users than in preschoolers. Not least because tumblr users, having gained a little analytical skill to misuse, insist on Summarizing and Generalizing and Unifying the insights they repeat, quickly turning any interesting new information into formulaic dogmatic mush.
#i made the mistake of looking in the notes of the beach sand post i reblogged to see if anyone else had interesting comments#And the rate at which it went from like#1) person states with moderate confidence an opinion based on their personal observations#2) multiple people reply with “wow thats so insightful!” (aka it aligns with my preconceived notions of how things work)#3) someone else adds additional personal observations which are not really relevant but which can be absorbed into the narrative#4) people start outright stating the underlying belief on which this bias is constructed as if it were a fresh insight#5) general derisive attitude towards people who haven't seen the Obviously Correct solution to this complex real world problem yet#It's very.......#It's not like it's a high stakes post but it's such a microcosm of the whole dogmatic phenomenon#Also this js a more specific gripe to My Field or w/e#But the degree to which people react to the problems caused by the whole “Control of Nature” era of engineering#with this equally reductive “Nature will Fix Everything” type of attitude#Is sooooo frustrating.#Yes a great many of our current problems could have been avoided if we had not made massive changes to ecosystem processes on the assumptio#That they were simple and we understood them. And that they would respond in predictable ways.#the simplicity in retrospect of “wow we Should Not have done that” does not mean that they are simple to undo!#You can't go back in time. You can't turn back the clock on chaotic processes#Which is. Almost every process ever.#Restoration is hard! Returning to previous regimes of sediment or flooding or fire is tricky and full of foibles!#Moving towards a future which doesn't suck as much even if the past cant be recreated is also uncertain and difficult!#It's frustrating to see people act all high and mighty about how they Respect Nature unlike whoever is making all these decisions#When their understanding of the natural processes in question is AS simplistic as the people who caused the whole mess back in 1910 or w/e#Like I'm not saying there's not bad interests standing in the way of functional restoration on all levels#That's very much a fight to be fought.#But looking at that fight-in-process and saying “wow none of you Respect Nature like me uwu let nature fix it”#Is.#Ugh.
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hello upper middle class northern usamerican tumblr user. i want to play a game. you will notice that you are in a super america convenience store in rural kentucky - you have three minutes to purchase a snack and drink of your choice and make normal small talk with the cashier. however, if you use the word "cryptid" or generally make reference to appalachia and its inhabitants as "wild", uncivilized, or lacking restraint around alcoholic beverages during your time here, i will personally tie you to the chassis of a four wheeler and tip it into the river. live or die. make your choice
#speak friend and enter#i can appreciate mothman as much as the next guy but can we stop treating appalachia like it's the subject of a richard attenborough doc#i come from a long line of hillbillies and i like to think i've got a good sense of humor about it but sometimes i am tested#like. this is not a lawless land with a moonshine still in every holler and nameless voices in the woods!! this is a normal town!!#idk maybe i'm reading too much into it but i'm just tired of the cultural fetishization of appalachia by people who aren't from here#and who don't know anything about it. like yeah you know mothman and what hooch is and that's all well and good#but do you know what the opioid epidemic really is. do you know about the structural injustices that keep people like mcconnell in power#i'm not saying you have to apply dialectical political analysis to every issue that occurs in the region to be able to have an opinion#but also like. i'm tired of people looking at places like where i grew up and making them into things they aren't#like. on the one hand we have ''ooh spooky hills!! run if you hear the trees whisper your name''#and on the other we've got ''isn't appalachia so depressing...so hashtag ethel cain core...shame it's got no value beyond aesthetics''#and on yet another hand we have ''i - a person with no ties to the region - am going to take up the cause of every social issue#occurring across the entire appalachian region so the world will see just how bad these poor hill people have it. i am very smart''#and like. it's frustrating#i'm not saying you should never speak about appalachia if something we have is interesting to you#nor am i implying that i want to gatekeep discussion of the region's issues to the community bc that won't accomplish anything#i'm just saying that like any place it's complex. it's got its good things and it's got its bad things.#and you shouldn't isolate the good from the bad or vice versa - especially if you don't know the context in which those things happen.#and for the love of god dont let your own ignorance cause you to boil down those issues into a reductive and inaccurate set of stereotypes#learn about us from us. not from tiktok not from movies and for christ's sake not from hillbilly elegy. i hate that fucking book#anyway that got weirdly serious but i mean it. putting appalachia as a talking point up on the shelf until y'all can speak intelligently#ok to rb
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Could someone tell me where the interpretation that, in book canon, the promotion Nie Mingjue gives Meng Yao made Meng Yao's life worse than it was before, came from?
I have seen that claim made multiple times now and I've looked at the text over and over trying to see where the basis for it is and I. Can't find it? Don't get me wrong, it absolutely spells out that it does not and cannot fix everything for Meng Yao, but the idea that it was actively bad for him?
Lacking other evidence, I kind of have to assume that it comes from cql canon being sort of projected backwards onto book canon. In cql canon, meng yao is suffering active and explicit bullying and abuse from the captain while under the nie, and does so because the capain believes he has risen above his station via nmj's promotion of him. (In book canon this... isn't happening. It happens with the captain in Langya instead) However, in cql canon he has also been with the nie for years and is openly close to both Nie Mingjue and Nie Huasiang, whereas in book canon he has only been working with nie mingjue for a few months (though has, in that time, apparently become close enough to him for Lan Xichen to explicitly state Meng Yao is able to calm nmj down in ways no one else can? Ofc he does this... Right after that stops being true. But. Food for thought. Not what this post is about tho.) So, if you project the much more explicit abuse from the nie sect captain in cql back on novel jgy who has a presumably much less stable position in the sect overall you get... a meng yao for whom the promotion only means a bigger target on his back and virtually no protection from nmj, who we must assume he can't trust to talk to his about because he never mentions it. (This also explicitly violates book canon when it comes to meng yao's general behaviour, we'll talk about that in a sec)
And look. We all do frankencanon in this house. I get it. And for fanfiction that is very fun. But for a serious reading of the character, his situation, and the actions that lead from that this... doesn't make much sense, in my opinion.
So. Why is that? Why did I say this was out of character for the novel? Because Meng yao spoke up about the jin captain mistreating him. Multiple times! It's just that none of it mattered because no one cared to listen to him. This is a pretty important line for his character because it flatly shows that meng yao is not and has never seen murder as something trivial. He's not trigger happy. He will only do it if he sees no other way out that doesn't end in himself being seriously harmed. (Whether he's right or justified in these cases is not the point of this post.)
If anything remotely similar was happening in the Nie sect, he would have said so. Cql Meng Yao doesn't do this because cql Meng Yao is a different character, and also the plot wouldn't work if he did. Cql Nie Mingjue, by extension, comes off as a fundamentally less trustworthy figure in cql Meng Yao's life because apparently for whatever reason, he cannot be trusted with the information that the deputy he has already publicly defended is still being harassed, and doesn't notice even when it is really blatant. The assumtpion the audience is given is that, like a middle schooler getting the principal involved when being bullied, it would only make the harassment more viscious.
This... actually has a somewhat solid basis in the book. Because after nmj yells at the bullies in question Wei Wuxian says this.

And it is important to keep in mind that this is Wei Wuxian saying this. Not Meng Yao, not an omniscient narrator. Wei wuxian is drawing on his own experiences, likely from the Jiang family, to conclude that if someone is angry at you and thwarted by someone defending you, this generally does not make them less angry at you.
This is leaving out two crucial things, though.
Firstly, this worry isn't about the promotion at all.
The promotion hasn't even been brought up. In the novel it doesn't ctually happen immediately, it takes another few battles where meng yao continues to do his job well and nie mingjue continues praising him for him to eventually go "yeah, you deserve a raise."
This is another aspect that is being projected from cql canon onto book canon I presume, because it does happen quite quickly there, and it's a throwaway line in the books so it's easy to miss. I can't be mad about anyone forgetting the difference, but it is important to mention for this particular analysis.
Which is the second point: change in status
Wei Wuxian couldn't exactly change status within the Jiang family. (And if he could, that would just fuel rumours that he was jfm's bastard even more and make madam yu even angrier at him, etc etc.)
This isn't comparable to Meng Yao. The worry Wei Wuxian is talking about is explitly about Nie Mingjue's initial very loud defense of him. Before he has any idea Nie Mingjue is going to promote him.
Promoting him would likely decrease his chances of cultivators coming after him because now he was in a higher standing in the sect than they were. If applied to that earlier metaphor of middle school bullying it's like if the bullied kid suddenly got hired as a teacher. Which. Doesn't work with the metaphor at all. Touché. But what I am trying to say is that any payback they would have planned for him relied on the fact that they could make sure that Nie Mingjue wasn't going to be within very convenient earshot a second time, and as a random disciple Meng Yao couldn't just go complain to him every time.
But as his right hand man? Who spends most of his time working directly alongside him? Lmao. Good luck. Oh, sure, it is very likely that they feel offended a son of a whore has been raised in status above them, and many will continue to do so as jgy rises through cultivation society (in fact, Wei Wuxian's observations are absolutely on point for how Madam Jin will be treating jgy later on). But as we can also see from the way jgy is treated and how he treats others throughout the story: you can be upset all you want, but if that person is higher than you in status there's jack shit you can do about it.
If I am correct and Wei Wuxian is basing this on his experiences with the Jiang family, it makes sense why he'd miss this. Madam Yu gets to be way angrier at Jiang Fengmian as his wife than some random disciples can be at Nie Mingjue. Insulting Meng Yao, suggesting that he didn't deserve his promotion or that he earned it through less than proper means (you know who is mother is) is also an insult to Nie Mingjue and the way he chooses to run his sect. They can't do that.
Another thing I see brought up in this regard would be the tea scene. There may be no explicit harassment like in the show, but cultivators still don't respect him! The disrespect is just quieter and more subtle.
Tiny detail: these are actually not Nie cultivators

They're cultivators Lan Xichen is escorting with him, making a pitstop in heijan.
The book confirms this by basically outright stating that this is the first time they see his face, and recognize him as Jin Guangshan's bastard son.

Now, just because there is no proof that it happened doesn't mean it definitely never happened. Mdzs is a novel that often leaves stuff out or up to interpretation. Similar stuff to the tea situtation could very well be happening in the background. But I do think it is pretty significant that there is no mention whatsoever of Meng Yao having any negative treatment from Nie cultivators betwen him and Nie Mingjue meeting and him executing them while spying for Wen Ruohan, and the most we get is Wei Wuxian's personal speculation, after which he immediately goes to wax poetic about how surprised he is that Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue are getting along super well.
And, again, novel Meng Yao would have said something. He doesn't say anything about the tea scene. - Or? Does he? Notably 3zun have some very long in depth conversations that Wei Wuxian zones out from because he's busy thinking about Lan Zhan again. But let's not rely on what-ifs. Let's say that neither he nor Lan Xichen find it worth bringing up. Major reasons for that would be that a) these are not nie cultivators, nie mingjue wouldn't really have the authority to scold them. Especially because b) it's such a subtle offense it could easily be handwaved as coincidence. "They just always brush their cups clean like that!! It's wartime you know, and they were traveling! They're used to drinking from vessels that aren't thoroughly washed everytime! It's just a habit!" And would therefore not be worth reporting.
But anything worse than that? A "price tens or hundreds of times greater" like wwx mentions? He'd report it! I do understand that "well if it was happening why didn't he say something?" would, in real life, be victim blaming. This is not real life, and I am not talking about this in a matter of blame. If Meng Yao was being mistreated in the Nie and stayed silent about it, it would still not be his fault. I am talking about this in a manner of character consistency.
His admission of seeking help in the Jin sect shows that at that time and prior to it (a very good argument can be made that he loses faith in this idea) he believes that if he is being mistreated and someone with the authority to say something about it takes his side, things can improve. If Nie Mingjue standing up for him in Qinghe only made things worse, he would not have tried to ask for help in an even more hostile environment. You can call Meng Yao many things, but naïve isn't one of them.
Meng yao's later habit of completely isolating himself and lying to everyone around him comes from the fact that revealing his suffering would mean explaining several horrible things he's become complicit in and he does not feel safe admitting to that. But he's done nothing wrong here!
The reading where he says nothing would imply an either correct or incorrect belief in Meng Yao's eyes that Nie Mingjue did not much care for his wellbeing or safety. Oh sure he defended him once but doing so again multiple times would be such a bother. This also contradicts his later behaviour, where he banks solely on Nie Mingjue's protective instincts to seal his qi and escape during the confrontation in Langya. After having been caught murdering a man, he is still convinced Nie Mingjue will immediately try to help him when he is in serious danger.
And even if you very badly want to characterize Nie Mingjue as a blundering idiot who is apparently less trustworthy in Meng Yao's eyes than the jin cultivators who had already resoundly rejected him by the time he tries to ask for help with the langya captain. He doesn't say anything to Xichen either! Lan Xichen, who has explicitly and exhaustively been portrayed as kind and understanding to Meng Yao's circumstances and very willing to talk to Mingjue if Meng Yao wants something from him he doesn't otherwise think he'd get. The conversation Mingjue overhears where Meng Yao's new position in the Nie is explictly brought up would be kind of the perfect time to go "yeah I've been promoted but I'm not treated well by other soldiers" aaaand. Nothing. So unless you come to the conclusion that Meng Yao trusted the Jin he told about the captain's abuse more than Lan Xichen you kind of have to conclude that Meng Yao's treatment after his promotion improved significantly. And that even if people still disliked him they could not openly do anything about it because he was high enough in status for that to be socially inappropiate. Which is, explicitly, one of his main motivators over the entire course of the story: Avoiding mistreatment by getting high enough on the social ladder it doesn't matter what people think of him, they can't hurt him.
And I'm not sure how to reconcile that character journey with the idea that he would, at any point, have preferred to keep his head down and stay where he was. When he was so desperate to crawl his way out.
#the main tragedy of his character- of course- being that he keeps achieving that status and it is never enough#he achieves standing with the nie and the favor of a major sect leader and it's not enough for his father to even give him the time of day#he kills wrh amd becomes a war hero and gets acknowledged by his father!!#and all it gets him is nmj's constant distrust abuse at the hands of his stepmother and complicity in mass murder by his father's orders#he gets to the HIGHEST POSITION SOCIETY HAS. LITERAL CHIEF CULTIVATOR. And the moment he stumbles everyone turns on him immediately#like they were all just waiting for him to get low enough again that they could kick him further down#it's a rise-fall-rise-fall-rise-fall journey with every step up being a desperate fight and every tumble down being way too quick and easy#but! that rise still needs to be there!! for the story to work!!#the tragedy of qinghe for meng yao is how easily he loses nmj's fsvor. NOT that having it was bad in the first place#I understand that this reading is mainly done to put nmj in a bad light but I do genuinely think it does jgy a disservice#people more often apply this to him becoming jin guangyao which does in a lot of ways doom and trap him#and yes fuck jgs fuck that guy all the way to hell#but the key is that meng yao can't just get a happy ending by refusing power#he's not power hungry. what he wants is in fact reasonable- he's just willing to do a lot more than most to get it#'things would've been better if nmj didn't promote him/didn't send him to langya'#feels as reductive to me as the 'why can't he just be xichen's house boyfriend and join the lan instead' takes.#mdzs#meng yao#jin guangyao#mdzs meta#? sorta#feels too ranty to call meta#this is what i was talking about in my past post about how frustrating it is to base metas around disagreeing with others#makes analysis feel like discourse when that is NOT what i am trying to do#long post with long tags
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i have this thing where I'm really unwilling to judge people based on their background but I'm Very willing to judge them if they're a reactionary
#personal crap#like I'm not gonna hate a progressive-minded cop or an anti-apartheid israeli or an anti-authoritarian russian or chinese person#or like a southerner or very religious person who isn't prejudiced towards 'others'#bc their background doesn't make them an evil person and it's reductive to think they all are#but the moment they defend the perspective their background is infamous for i agree that yes they can eat shit#it's a bit frustrating to me how a lot of leftists want to box them in as 'you're this so you must agree with that'#rather than encouraging them not to#basically because they want convenient enemies even if that means making more enemies#the most infuriating example was when during the blm protests people were saying 'don't ask cops to march with us#tell them to quit their jobs!' because if people are offering you an olive branch smacking it away is moronic#frankly psychos defending police brutality disgusts me far more than police existing as a concept
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"The lesser of two evils" is a fallacy. Politicians are supposed to WORK for our votes and they won't fucking do it because you keep rewarding them for being slightly less evil than their opponents. Absolute buffoonery.
#idk what tags#cos this is uk politics and us politics and many others besides#just so frustrating that ppl think you can save lives by choosing on genocide denier over another#where is the evidence that you achieved this harm reduction you speak of
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