#Fuck Metatron he is staying with his partner

[loveapologist]

He changed his mind.

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[flameraven]

Some Thoughts on Aziraphale

In response to this discussion, which focuses on the pain Aziraphale must have felt, deliberately breaking Crowley's heart at the end, because he has no choice but to go back to Heaven.

I do think that there's not really an option for Aziraphale to stay on Earth. There's certainly an element of coercion to the Metatron's actions, and an implicit threat. And even if there wasn't-- Aziraphale IS right, they can't really be free with the system of Heaven and Hell looming over them. They will never really be left alone to exist together. Something has to be done.

But I can't buy the final fifteen as Aziraphale knowingly sacrificing their relationship for the sake of protecting Crowley and/or Earth. The order of events is wrong. He doesn't go in to Crowley in a clear-headed, sober way, saying "I don't want to, but I have to leave." No. I think, like we saw him do throughout S2, he's focusing on his own wants and needs to the exclusion of everything else.

He comes to Crowley with the Metatron's proposal and he is giddy. He's excited. Because he thinks he's found a loophole. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He thinks he can have Crowley AND Heaven.

When he walks back into the bookshop, he doesn't know about Armageddon 2.0 or the Second Coming. The Metatron just tells him they have a big project and they want him to lead it, and he buys in to that fantasy, like he's been focusing on fantasies for all of S2.

Aziraphale goes to Crowley and he's not proposing to keep or protect their same relationship. He says come to Heaven with me, you'll be my second in command. Second in command! Not as equal partners, like they've been for millennia. Aziraphale would be Crowley's boss. He wants to take them backwards, even. Make Crowley an angel again, ignoring how strongly Crowley rejects that idea. It'll be just like old times, only even nicer. Again, he's focused on the fantasy, the memory of what Heaven used to be, instead of the reality of what it is.

I think ultimately, Aziraphale is sacrificing Crowley and his bookshop here in order to protect his own feelings. Because focusing on this fantasy lets him avoid facing the hard truth of what Heaven is, and keep living in denial a little longer. It's not until he's at the elevator that he hears "Second Coming" and then has a very visible "oh shit" look on his face. And by that point he cannot back out. (And frankly, I read his smile in the elevator as mostly self-righteousness, a sort of "it will all work out, he'll see." Convincing himself that he hasn't just royally fucked up.)

I think it's true that Aziraphale doesn't have much of a choice here. But he doesn't approach Crowley as if he's being coerced or forced into a difficult situation. He's excited. I don't think he's thinking about the Earth at all. Or Crowley-- at least not beyond what he, Aziraphale wants, which is the two of them together... but on Aziraphale's terms.

And this is unfortunately part of the general pattern for Aziraphale in S2. He is petulant and annoyed when Crowley tells him no and refuses to help Gabriel. He doesn't ask why Crowley changes his mind later, or consider why Crowley might have been so against helping Gabriel, he just demands the elaborate apology dance as his due and delights in being Right. He overrides Crowley's objections to taking the Bentley to Edinburgh, and ignores his warnings about danger at the Ball. The whole season he is focused on his own fantasies and desires and completely fails to entertain Crowley's feelings or perspective at all.

So yes, I do feel bad for Aziraphale at the end of S2, I'm sure he's also hurt by the separation with Crowley. But this is the choice that he made! And now he has to live with the consequences.

[commando-rogers]

ok I’m sorry if this seems mean but the lack of media literacy and critical thinking that is necessary to look at this season and hate aziraphale and think he wanted to hurt crowley is astounding. like. is it not clear that aziraphale has been in an abusive relationship with heaven for millennia? that heaven has groomed him to want to be a good little angel who does their bidding??? is it not clear that aziraphale has been made to think heaven is good at its core simply because it is heaven and heaven must be good because hell is bad simply because it’s bad because that’s what we were told? that throughout both seasons he keeps trying to get crowley to do the “bad” “harmful” “evil” things because that’s what demons do, not angels, because demons are bad and evil because that’s what god said but not really god just heaven wielding this ambiguous “god’s will” as a means of gaining power?????

like. there was literally a parallel of an actual abusive relationship in this season in order to make it clearer to us. somebody who has affection for someone else but thinks they can’t act on it because they have an obligation to their controlling partner who won’t let them step out of line???? Nina’s journey was RIGHT THERE as a parallel to aziraphale’s.

some hallmarks of abusive relationships are when you are gaslit and fed lies in order to separate you from others. when you are promised something great to get you to comply, when really they just want to use you for their own means. “your friends can’t love you as much as I do, you should stay with me because I’m the only one who loves you and can make you happy. others are evil and must have evil intent because they’re not me. and you want to do what I say is best because if I don’t love you you’ll be alone.” and after the abuse, the cycle becomes love-bombing, being kind and gentle again, making you feel special. like. it’s right there guys.

Aziraphale didn’t go with metatron because he wanted to take this job and say fuck you to earth and crowley. of course, that’s the collateral damage, but aziraphale can’t see that!!! and heaven KNOWS that if aziraphale stays with crowley they could present too big an obstacle. so they need to alienate aziraphale from him. and what better way to do that than to manipulate him and promise him this incredible opportunity that can’t possibly be bad because it’s heaven and we’re good see!!! we know you’ve been having doubts and are becoming happier without us than with, so we want to give you this to pull you back. you’re so special, you’re so smart, nobody could do this except you. but they know they can exploit aziraphale’s eagerness to please and use him as a puppet to execute their plans.

aziraphale isn’t going to have an ounce of authority in heaven. they’ll make him feel special, yes, but they won’t let him do anything that doesn’t serve their interests. look at Gabriel!!!! that wasn’t some cutesy side plot, that was a demonstration of what happens when the most powerful angel in the universe finds something that matters more to them than heaven’s agenda. Gabriel wasn’t abiding and stood in the way of their plans, so they eliminated him. and they let him go off with beelzebub because they know how formidable Gabriel can be, and letting him go posed less of a risk than trying to fight him on it. but they think aziraphale is soft. so to fill Gabriel’s vacancy they used the path of least resistance.

aziraphale is a victim of heaven. he’s been kept in the dark and lied to so much. he WANTED crowley to come with him SO badly, but he was so afraid of losing his abusive partner/parent/anything because he’s been made to think he’s nothing without them. so he hurts crowley. he insults Crowley’s very nature by implying crowley could ever be happy being an angel again. the very essence of crowley is questioning authority, he could never be an angel, he’d never want to. but aziraphale can’t understand that yet, because he’s caught in this cycle of abuse.

the entire Edinburgh storyline shows aziraphale unable to recognize that sometimes doing the “bad” thing is the right thing. even when he realizes crowley was right and he was wrong; he still has to spin it as “well, this is actually benefitting humanity so it’s still something heaven would approve of.” everything has to be twisted to fit the narrative he’s been force-fed, otherwise he is bad and evil and worthless and he’s been groomed to think those are the worst things he could be.

as Maggie and Nina said, even though crowley and aziraphale talk, they never say what matters. they both hide so much from each other. aziraphale spends the better part of season 1 lying to crowley and pretending he doesn’t know where the antichrist is, because he believes heaven actually wants to avert Armageddon. if he can do good and help stop this with heaven, then everything will be good in the end, right???

but crowley also hides things. he hid what Gabriel said to him before the hellfire. he tried to hide his holy water heist. he hid the book of life. he thinks he’s protecting aziraphale, but they both struggle so much to realize in order to have Their Side, they need to be completely open and vulnerable, and both of them have learned to never ever do that as a coping mechanism from their respective abusers.

we literally saw hell do this same thing to crowley!!!! they said find Gabriel and we’ll forgive everything you did wrong and make you a Duke of hell. and crowley went “lol yeah ok sure.” he was offered the same deal but he’s the one who’s always questioned things, it’s in his very nature. he’s seen how demons work, he knows better. and he’s seen how heaven works and how evil they can be, but aziraphale hasn’t, and can’t see past his nature of wanting to be capital G Good. so when he’s offered the same thing, he can’t see heaven may have ulterior motives, because that’s not holy or good, and that’s what heaven is supposed to be, right? questioning them would make me Bad and that’s the worst thing I can be.

obviously there’s more nuance to this that I can’t elaborate on right now. of course they hurt each other and that’s awful. of course they both have trauma, and there’s a million reasons crowley is rightfully insulted and devastated. but it goes So Much Deeper than “he chose heaven over him how mean!!!!!!!” both seasons of this show work to show us that the “good” guys are actually evil. that we need to question what we’ve been told is “good”. that heaven doesn’t give a damn about good. they are controlling and all they want to do is win. and they’ll use aziraphale for that in order to eliminate the threat that he and crowley pose together.

if you think that aziraphale is the bad guy here, you clearly missed the entire point of the show.

[rosemariad]

Supernatural Season 12

only 3 more seasons after this...aw...

so mom's back grk mm the dead...okay...Mary's returned from '83 - boy is she in for a shock. her baby boy Dean is a grown man pushing 40 😱

wild how Dean recounted his parents' love story from their first meeting to their elopement! how did Dean get John to spill the beans on that I wonder...

Sam was taken by the bitch ass Men of Letters, and here lies the beginning of the misfortune that is the MoL arc, ugh! I'm going to like this as Much as I did Metatron 🙄

Sam's a fucking trooper, I know he was tortured by the devil personally but still, taking a blow torch to the foot...damn

Mary is naturally feeling out of place and Dean's just dancing around that like it's a problem to be solved on its own...oh Dean.

Castiel reunites with Dean after Mary points a gun at the handsome angelic stranger in the bunker 😆

Dean's tender smile when Cas grabbed him🥺 the way Mary cocked her head when they hugged 🤣

Mary was down to hunt - interesting considering how hard she supposedly tried to avoid it. now the show insinuates she wasn't wholly retired????

Sam & Mary hug when he returns to the bunker - is this technically their first real hug????? the last time would've been when Sam was a literal baby 🥺

But after 3 episodes, Mary just bails? really? the showrunners are giving her the Cas treatment - where she appears every so often. Why is she back then if she's not gonna stay with her sons? they're literally all she had left in the world. everyone else she would've known is long gone. they could've just brought back John (which I now they do in season 14 for 1 episode) to get John's reaction on how his sons have changed since 2006 when he died. they could've discussed Adam - that would've been fun 🤣🤣🤣

if they're gonna keep Mary around, the one whose death started the Brothers on their journey, keep her around! have the boys & their mom struggle to reconnect, get to know one another - let Mary see her sons as they are for better or worse and let them talk about it! let them talk about her and John and their parents' marriage, the good the bad and the family of if all. let them talk out their issues or try to Even if they fail! just cuz they talk doesn't mean they're able to solve and heal their trauma in 1 sitting. that shit takes time. it could take months, years. wasted opportunity.

back to Mary hunting, back in 1980 she saved a boy who grew up to be a hunter on his own, living his best life, being more Dean than Dean Winchester 🤣 until he was killed by his fellow hunter friend by accident (wow).

how dare Asa's mom bitch at Mary for Asa's grown ass man decisions? Please. nobody put a gun to his head! he made his choice and kept at it.

Dean got snippy at his mom cuz she left his ass - Dean she's been dead for 30+ years. her resurrection was your wildest dream/hope, Amara knew that, that's why she brought her back and the 1st thing she do that you don't like and you bitch at her?! ask her to stay then! beg her to stay, say anything and everything you need to so she sticks around! tell her about your drinking, about bow you're almost 40 with no kids or a domestic partner! about how little you Sleep and all the things that haunt you! Give her a reason to be needed!

when Mary says I am your mother, but I am not just your mom - that's 💯 percent facts right there, sorry folks! people are more than just 1 thing, but on the other hand, your sons need you, Mary! ironically, if she remained at her sons side, she wouldn't have suffered the way she does later this season 🤕

it's sad how east the MoL got to her, wearing her down. she's haunted and fucked up from being dead so long. this is why dialogue is important! she seemed to be opening up to Castiel since hers an angel instead of her sons - so be it, talk to the angel man, bare your soul, anything other than making shady deals and getting into bed with those British motherfuckers (see what I did there 🤣😅)

Gavin (imma call him Crowley jr.) got iced, sucks for Crowley I guess. good for Gavin though, stepping up to do the right thing for his girl, bittersweet.

I love that Cas & Dean are in regular contact with each other! too bad we don't get more scenes of their conversations!!! cmon showrunners - don't fear the emotional man on man scenes between men who aren't family, embrace the potential gayness!!! explore it!!!!

Cas & Mandy the waitress - interesting - too bad he's only interested in Dean, at least not anymore - that may be April the reaper's fault!

"devastatingly handsome" - you not low Dean!!! this is how you choose to address your angel bestie?!?! okay 🤣

later after Cas narrowly avoids death (again, thanks Crowley!) the look of relief on Dean's face

and awwww Cas said I love you! to Dean's whole family, how romantic 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you not low Castiel!!!!

sadly now Dean truly believes that Castiel only loves him as a friend. This is why you don't call Castiel your brother Dean 🤦‍♀️😅🤣

The Alpha vamp died - so much for next season. considering his supposed age and power, shouldn't be impossibly fast? and Ramiel. you're telling me that he struggled fighting a couple of normal people when he pwned Crowley so easily when Crowley himself is a centuries old demon, aka king of hell, after beating Castiel an ancient celestial being?!?!??! but the very mortal Winchesters took him down...yeah sure okay 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

HOLD UP! HOLD THE PHONE! HOLD THE UNIVERSE, TIME AND SPACE, HOLD EVERYTHING!

Dean Winchester gave Castiel a mixtape

Dean GAVE CASTIEL A MIXTAPE!!!!

a mixtape? 😱😱😱 really?!?!?! that's one of THE romantic gestures to make in the 80s and 90s (before CDs came out) to declare your feelings for someone you wanted to be with, as more than a friend. that's not to say friends and family didn't but it was fairly recognized as a something to do for romance too! also it's a labor of love since you'd have to use the radio or get more cassettes to record & compile the music you wanted AND people like to record a personal message before the music starts in the tape they male. you can see it certain TV/movies like the Goldbergs as an example - Adam made such a thing for his school crush when he wanted to declare his feelings for her.

And it's not just that Dean made a mixtape for Cas - he specifically chose Led Zeppelin songs- the love language of his parents, the very union that led to Dean being born in the first place. And the little xx's - hmm wonder what those mean...

and we just gloss over that?!?!? the showrunners - y'all are NOT slick! ya can't stop the Destiel bandwagon cuz after all this times in the year of our Lord 2023 peeps keep shipping it precisely for moments like these.

while we're on 12x19 - when Cas FINALLY returns to the bunker, Dean gives him hell like only a bitchy girlfriend can while Sam was like OMG glad you're back but Dean was PISSED cuz how DARE Cas not just show up & return his phone calls (what about prayers? 👀) Dean kept saying "we" but let's be honest he's talking about himself - u not slick Dean. And this is AFTER Cas tried returning the mixtape cuz he feels he is no longer worthy of Dean's gift given how much he pissed Dean off 🥺

When Sam suggests siphoning out the grace from the nephilim due to be born Dean runs to his precious angel only to discover Cas is gone (again!) just as soon as he appeared.

The betrayal. the deceit, the DRAMA!!! Dean, you didn't put the Colt in the safe?! Rookie mistake, bro.

He kept talking about Castiels feathered ass but then didn't actually fight him, just slams him against the wall, standing very close & maintaining intense eye contact - classic Supernatural 😉 🤣 😀

I wonder what Kelly saw that makes her believe that her child is good because suicide isn't an easy choice but Kelly went through with her attempt out of fear of what her child was capable of given how many times everyone kept saying such things to her face. But it didn't matter cuz her child brought Kelly back from the dead anyway. That's terrifying TBH.

When Cas booked the brothers 🤣🤣🤣 did they really not see that coming? cmon Dean, he did that to Bobby when you first met.

***during Lucifer's mini arc this season I'm reminded of Misha's commentary on the acting advice he got from main devil actor Mark Pelligrino on portraying the infamous figure - he either wanted to kill/fuck the one he's talking to - it definitely seemed that way this season during Mark's scenes. ironic considering his previous work on Lost - anyone remember that show?

Thankfully the MoL are FINALLY dealt with after a rousing speech from Sam fucking Winchester who leads the charge to take those British tarts down, complete with exploding their makeshift headquarters! Dean meanwhile stayed behind to help his mom who's been completely brainwashed by the MoL - which is indicative of Dean's characters as a callback to season 1 - he just wanted his family together!

What Dean told his mom in her head is what he should've said from the very beginning- sure it would've hurt her feelings, possibly cause a mild heart attack but it needed to be said so Dean & Mary could heal as a family!

Thank God Ketch is as dead as the rest of the MoL he was such a creep!

Rowena got killed offscreen? Damn, that's cold. I know she's coming back though 😊

Kelly died 🥲

Crowley died - he was THAT determined to take the devil down. in the long run its not gonna work since Luci will be back eventually but there's something to be said about Crowley's arc considering this is the last we see of the cheeky little devil. I recall prior seasons where he seemed downtrodden in certain scenes, about the futility of his plays for power, his schemes going tits up often because of someone else. I think Mark Shepard said something about taking his character as far as he could or something like that.

Castiel died (again)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Mary disappeared into that AU with the devil and he is Piiiiiiiiiiiissssed 😱

Given what Kelly gave birth to, all those diapers Cas got were a waste of money...

season highlights

not many TBH I didn't like this season much cuz of the wasted potential with Mary and the brothers and the lack of Castiel. and Crowley for that matter. the season had a good start and it finished in a way that was interesting BUT

12x10 - Dean and Castiel fighting was HILARIOUS. They seriously should've gotten a spinoff even if they only ever remained as innocent platonic friends. it would've been so funny.

and awww...Dean is Castiel's human weaknesss - YEAH NO SHIT HONEY!!!!!

Dean is apparently a natural at riding - mechanical bulls included - did he ride it to completion??? lemme stop 🤣 I mean for the duration of the bull ride for however long - he never fell off? if so, kudos to him and his hips 🤣🤣

[onionsaremeansstuff]

Barriers fall

Pairing: Castiel x reader

Gender: Male

Warnings: Drinking  

Summary: Castiel can’t love you, can he?

I dont own the character or the gif

Beta’d by the incredible @chaoticgaysstuff​

The bitter taste of alcohol burns your throat as you poured yourself another drink.

You didn't really like to drink. You weren't really much of a drinker. Sometimes only having a glass or two, but tonight you needed to get blackout drunk to stop the feeling of pain and heartbreak in your heart.

The dusk hid you and your actions. The shadows were the cruel lover who comforts you while you cut yourself with the pieces of your own heart.

It wasn't really Cas that you were upset with. You were mostly upset with yourself for falling in love with someone who doesn't love, or even like you back.

Many years going by of you creating lies just to ignore the harsh truth.

The truth that Cas doesn't like you back.

No matter how many times the two of you spent together. Or how many times you hung out with the Angel. Or how many times you would get hurt on hunts just to have Cas heal you. He would only see you as a friend, or a partner.

Besides did Cas even like men? Did Angel's even have sexualities? But you ended up remembering that Cas said that he is indifferent to sexual orientation. Which means that he definitely could be into men.

"The reason he doesn't love me back is because he is an angel. He doesn't have feelings or emotions. He isn't human. He's a soldier. It's not because I'm not good enough." You told yourself, trying to reassure yourself, but you didn't even believe the words that were coming out of your mouth.

That was the first lie you told yourself to not get your hopes up and fall in love with him.

As days became weeks, and weeks became months, you we're finally starting to get over Cas.

Until Meg arrived to tell you about Crowley's wearabouts.

When Cas pushed Meg against the wall and kissed her passionately, you felt jealous and the feelings that you tried so hard to keep from resurfacing has finally resurfaced.

You knew that the kiss was only a distraction, but that didn't stop you from feeling hurt. Why couldn't you be the one to kiss him?

"The kiss was only a distraction. That's it, nothing more. He doesn't like her like that." You told yourself.

That was the second lie you told yourself. Created to protect your heart.

And this one remained standing for sometime since she was out of our lives.

Your heart found comfort in the cold barriers that protected it.

Until the day he fell along with the other Angels.

You called out to him. Prayed to him, but he never answered. You knew that something was wrong because he always answers your prayers. Even more than he answers Dean's prayers.

You were going to find Cas himself because if the other Angels fell then Metatron needed someone's grace to do it. And you were betting that he used Cas grace to do it. Which means, he is human.

Dean and Sam managed to stop you before you could leave.

"You can't just go out looking for Cas, especially when the Angels just fell." Dean said to you, holding onto your wrist, not letting you make it a foot up the stairs.

"You dont understand, Dean. He's human now! And we have to find him before the other Angels kill him."

Sam and Dean saw how your eyes were pleading for them to help you and they finally gave in.

You ended up saving him, or that Gadreel person more specifically.

And it turns out that you were right. Cas was human. And in the back of your mind there was a voice that said you finally have a chance, so you were planning on telling him your feelings until the next sentence that came out of the ex Angels mouth.

"I had sex with April."

In that moment, you realized something. Cas could love someone and have sex with someone. He could feel attracted to someone.

He just doesn't feel anything for you.

And for the very first time, you felt pain in your heart. Something that you never wanted to experience.

Gosh. You felt like an idiot now.

Feeling worried for Cas and thinking you had a chance with him.

So, you found comfort in the bitterness of alcohol that was constantly burning your throat.

Hoping that you could finally pass out and forget your pathetic existence for a while.

-

"What happened in here?" Sam asked, noticing the bottles of alcohol littered all over the kitchen table in the bunker, where you were currently passed out at.

"Looks like Y/N dranked himself to sleep." Dean said, wondering why his friend even got drunk in the first place. He walked over to you and picked you up off of the chair, "Help me take him to his room, Sammy."

Sam went on the other side of you and lifted you up.

As they walked towards your room, Cas walked out of his room which was 3 doors down from yours, and saw the brothers carrying you, who was passed out.

"What happened to Y/N?" Castiel asked the brothers, an unknown feeling welling up inside his chest at seeing Y/N like this. What was this feeling?

"Y/N dranked too much alcohol." Dean answered.

"I thought that he hardly drinks?" Cas questioned, feeling an emotion that could only be described as concern.

"He doesn't drink that much. Something must have happened to him for him to get like this." Sam said quickly, wanting to hurry up and take you to your room since you were quite heavy.

The two brother continued walking down the hall with Cas following behind them. Once they entered your room, they placed you on the bed and Cas stood by your bed.

"Cas, Sam and I are going to see if we can find something to improve Sam's health. Stay here with him." Dean told Castiel as Sam and him left the room, but Castiel stopped Dean.

Wait! What about him? Will he be okay?" The ex angel spoke, pointing at you.

Dean waved Cas off, "He'll be fine." And he closed the door behind him.

Castiel sighed and looked down at your sleeping figure. He sat on the other side of your bed and ran his fingers through your hair, "Why did you do this to yourself, Y/N?" Castiel muttered.

-

You woke up with a loud groan, "Ow!" You exclaimed. Your whole body was aching from head to toe.

But the pain your were feeling was nothing compared to the pain in your heart.

"Good morning, Y/N. Or more like afternoon now." You heard Castiel's voice. You opened your eyes and he was standing over you with a bottle of water in one hand and a pill in the other. "While exploring the internet, i read that pills usually help when having a hangover," He held it out towards you, but you didn't take and continued to just stare at it. Cas frowned slightly, "This will make you feel better."

Castiel's voice throbbed in your head. The mixture of inner anger along with your aching head, and feelings for Cascaused you to not care about what's about to come out of your mouth.

"And since when do you care about my well-being, Castiel?" You barked and Castiel's eyes widened in surprise. Where was this coming from?

"What do you mean by that?" He asked softly, not wanting to see you explode like that again.

You knew you should stop speaking now, but you were still a little drunk right now and everything you've been feeling is finally going to come out.

"You can't hurt me and then pretend to care about me, Cas. You can't cut me with a knife and then put a bandage on it." You barked once again as your head throbbed in pain.

Castiel continued to stare at you, not understanding what you we're talking about.

"What are you talking about Y/N? I don't understand what I did to hurt you." He spoke, desperate to figure out what he did that caused you pain.

You sighed, "You didn't do anything, Cas. I did this to myself, but I can't deal with this anymore. Just leave me alone." You said, feeling tears start to form in your eyes, but you blinked them away.

The ex angel was very confused.

"Explain what is going on to me, Y/N. Please, I want to be able to help you and apologize for what I did even without knowing what I did." He begged, setting the pills and water down on the bedside table, taking a hold of your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"There's really nothing to explain. I was just an idiot to think someone as amazing and selfless as you could like me back." You said, tears finally flowing from your eyes.

Cas wiped away the tears from your eyes. He didn't like seeing you cry.

"But I do like you, Y/N. I consider you what humans call a best friend. Your my best friend, Y/N." Cas stated, and smiled in an attempt to stop you from crying, even though he didn't understand why this was something to cry about.

You let out a humorless chuckle. You decided that you would not hold in your feelings any longer. You would tell him the truth.

"But I like you as more than just a friend, Cas!" You exclaimed, "I love you as more than a friend. The way I feel for you is different for what I feel for Dean and Sam. I have feelings for you and I wanna be with you. I wanna be with you for the rest of my life." You told him, staring at the wall not even wanting to see his reaction.

It was silent for a while. And that made you think that you fucked up. You just ruined your friendship with Cas. You were about to leave the room, planning on going to the bar, or leaving the bunker forever, but Cas took your chin and made you look at him. You couldn't though, and instead started looking down.

"I have feelings for you too, Y/N." Cas said softly.

You snapped your head up to look at him. Did he really just say that he had feelings for too? "W-What did you just s-say?"

"I said I have feelings for you, Y/N."

You shook your head slightly, still not believing that the man you have been crushing on for years likes you back.

"B-But... but you never showed any interest in me before. And what about Meg and April? You kissed Meg a-and had sex with April."

Cas looked down, feeling ashamed.

"I… I didn't understand feelings very well. I still don't understand them that well. But I knew that I felt something for you and I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner," Castiel replied, feeling ashamed that he was the reason for you getting drunk, "I was deeply ashamed of myself after teaming up with Crowley and the fall of the angels. I didn't want anything to happen between us because I'm a failure, Y/N. You are amazing person and incredible human being. I didn't think that I deserved to be anything more than a friend. Sometimes, I feel like I don't deserve to be your friend," Tears were coming out of Castiel's eyes, "So, I decided to never tell you about my feelings, but I only ended up hurting you in the end. I'm so sorry, Y/N. Please forgive me. I beg you to forgive me." Castiel begged, tightening his grip on your hand. His blue eyes stared at you, begging you to forgive him.

You planted a gentle kiss on his lips, "You are already forgiven. It would be kinda hard not to forgive you. And all of that stuff with Crowley is in the past now. It's time to forgive yourself, okay?" He nodded, not taking his eyes off of you, "And please don't do that again. My heart and kidneys can't go through that again." You joked.

"I promise to never do that again," He gave you a hug and buried his face into the crook of you neck, "Now, it's time to take your medicine. I'll get us something to eat."

"Yes sir," You took the pill and the previous conversation came back to your mind, "Wait. Cas, do you even know how to cook?"

[steveyockey]

non spn anon: wow, so much to say, maybe i should DM you. on the one hand, so much of the marking and claiming in ABO fic makes more sense now. on the other hand, castiel leaving a permanent mark on dean's body as a reminder that someone came for him in hell and he isn't untouchable emotionally despite what he pretends and then...falls in love with him? i did tear up a little, this is out of control

the noise I made when I read the part about abo (which again, for the millionth time, exists because james cameron gave jessica alba cat girl dna on dark angel and then made jensen ackles her “breeding partner” so it does actually predate destiel since the j2 shippers took that concept and ran with it though I could totally see elements of destiel making their way into general omegaverse world-building), but YEAH he isn’t untouchable!!!! and it’s especially like okay it’s like. dean just got out of hell. where he spent 30 years being tortured and then 10 years torturing souls and in doing so broke the first seal and kicked off the apocalypse. so it’s almost like he’s even lower than when he died because at least that he thought was final and it was happening because he sold his soul to save his brother which is the only thing he ever wanted to do really, but now he has to deal with both his actions and what his actions have wrought back on earth, the place he was basically done with where the suffering matters because it’s his job to stop it and this time he’s causing it. and YET and yet!! the plan all along was for him to be saved. it was always foretold he would fall, he would break, he would give in, his strength would be tested past the point he could resist, and through all that he was always worth saving, it was always castiel’s job to pull him out and put him back together. but this castiel, this cas in this universe not only does that, follows orders, but touches dean’s soul as he stitches him back together, returns the breath to his body, and he loves him. he loves him for all the bad things he’s done for all the bad he sees in himself for all the ways he thinks he deserves to stay in hell, and he remakes him PERFECT with none of the old scars none of the old hurts but just. the handprint. the mark of his work. it’s fucking godly but it isn’t god making man in his own image, it’s cas remaking dean to be all the wonderful things he sees in him. when metatron says cas is in love with humanity, he’s in love with dean as the ultimate image of man, man who will always stumble on his way to greatness, man who is not blameless but deeply human and flawed but to cas is perfect. and then he spends twelve years falling further in love and putting that love into practice! so yeah. a handprint, a mark of the love he put into dean as he rebuild him, because from the beginning of their relationship was cas’s love.

[sharkfish]

late summer recs in the endless year of our lord 2020

masterpost of rec lists /// yeah it’s october  but i’m in texas so it’s still basically summer! 

*~*~*~if you like the fics, give love to the author via kudos and/or comments!!*~*~*~*~ 

under the cut to prevent endless scrolling~ 

8 Reasons by Threshie ***WIP***

Space pilot Dean is caught trying to break Sam out of prison, and ends up tossed into a cell with a half-man, half tentacly monster alien.

Adagio by noangelsinthegarrison (6k)

“His name’s Dean," Cas sighs, "And he’s really stupidly attractive, and when he dances, he feels it, you know? And it makes me feel like I know him, even though I don’t. He makes me feel like… like he’s dancing just for me.”

Gabriel rolls his eyes, “Wow, you’re over-dramatic when you’re horny.”

And He's Oh So Good by @jemariel ***WIP*** - completed, 10/13 chapters posted

Dean Smith is a man of routine, and it's been working very well for him, thank you very much.

Then Castiel walks into his life, and suddenly there's a splash of color that reveals just how gray everything had been before.

Can Dean let himself step out of his comfortable shell and experience the good things in life that he's forgotten about?

A Thousand Lies by @goldenraeofsun (73k)

Dean Winchester is the best con artist in the continental US. Conscripted into the life after a stupid mistake as a teenager, he works for a man only known as the Lightbringer. He specializes in the marriage con, tricking his marks into falling in love with him and bolting after the honeymoon with everything they own.

But the morning before his meticulously planned meet-cute with his newest assignment, he runs into an adorably clueless accountant named Cas in a coffee shop, and Dean’s entire view on life implodes.

Christmas Treats and Angel Heats by @malmuses (20k) 

Angels don't have a sex, or gender, nevermind a secondary gender—right? At least, that's what the Winchesters have been led to believe.

It's Christmas, and Dean misses his angel friend. He's been AWOL for days, and the Winchesters are worried.

When Cas returns to the bunker on Christmas Eve, very clearly in heat, a few of their assumptions are going to have to change.

Oh, and Dean is going to have to hide his feelings for Cas in the face of the news that the angel is an unmated omega, who desperately needs their help.

Merry Christmas, Dean!

Cliché Bingo by noangelsinthegarrison (3k)

Sometimes, Castiel thinks that if he were playing a game of cliché bingo with his own life he’d get a full house within seconds. He’s the smart kid who wears glasses; he’s the Christian who wears sweater vests; he’s the quietest, youngest son in a family of seven and, oh yes, he’s in love with Dean Winchester.

Who just happens to be his best friend. And his neighbour. And a jock. So that’s three in one right there.

Blaze And Fall by @casbeanwrites  (13k)

Dean's not handling his best friend and ex-roommate's "kinks" very well.

Until he learns how to handle them.

Dean Winchester and the Patron Saint of Blind Dates by @goldenraeofsun  (18k)

Dean Winchester's friends are a bunch of traitors. So he had a bad breakup two years ago and hasn't gotten back on the horse. Their intervention - a series of blind dates - can't be the solution.

But if this'll get his friends to stop, Dean can choke down over-priced spaghetti, make forced conversation, and drink whatever random cocktail the blue-eyed weirdo bartender makes for him next.

At least Cas has his back. One nod from Dean, and he'll swoop down from behind the bar and make excuses for Dean to bail. It would be a perfect system - except Dean can't stop trading knowing looks with Cas and focus on his damn dates instead.

From Ashes by kradarua (12k) 

“You’ll be able to use your legs again,” Sam rushed, “just...well, it might take a while.”

Dean exhaled sharply, frustrated, but forced himself to raise his head and take a look.

OR

Dean gets injured on the job, and Castiel falls in love with him by mistake.

Head Down, Walk with Reason by @goldenraeofsun (63k)

As an omega, Castiel is ineligible for the throne after his father dies. When his uncle takes the crown, Metatron's first order of business is to arrange a betrothal with King John for the hand of his firstborn son, the Crown Prince of Terra.

So Castiel flees.

On his first night on the run, Castiel stumbles into a band of outlaws just at the border. Injured and wary, he has no choice to stay with them. And although he had planned to return to his own kingdom once it was safe, home might not be the place he left, but instead with Dean, their alpha leader that took him in.

Russian to the Altar by @malmuses  (144k) 

“I need you to marry Castiel.”

They weren’t the words Dean expected to hear from his business partner’s mouth before their bakery-slash-chocolate shop opened for the day. He’d been quite happy being single—and who the fuck was Castiel, anyway?

It turned out that Castiel was a Russian erotic novelist in need of a ticket to America, and Dean… well, Dean was a last resort.

Save the Drake by VioletHaze (@scones-and-texting-and-murder) (33k)

Encouraged by his best friend Meg to create more connections in his life, Cas jumps into an online discussion surrounding the closing of the Drake, an independent and historic theater in his neighborhood. If nothing else, the confidence Cas gains as he makes a new online friend helps him to be less awkward around the guy in his building that he likes: Dean Winchester.

It’s not like Dean Winchester needs help meeting people, but a hasty decision to comment on a local news article leads him to make a virtual connection. It's a new sort of relationship for Dean, but soon the two of them are chatting all day long. He only wishes getting to know his downstairs neighbor Cas was this simple.

Sparks by vipjuly (21k)

The creepy house on the corner has been abandoned for years, everyone says. It's ramshackle and decrepit, the yard overgrown, the wrought iron fence bent and broken in some places. The adults in the neighborhood have asked the city to do something about that eyesore for so long, but the city insists that someone is paying property taxes on the house, therefore they cannot do anything about it.

So, everyone ignores it and pretends it doesn't exist. They definitely don't go anywhere near it, either.

Dean, though.

Dean is drawn to it as if by gravity.

Little by little, Dean repairs what he can. The monster inside the house ain't so bad, either.

Y'know. For a monster.

Such Familiar Magic by @saltnhalo (26k)

When solitary witch Castiel finds an injured dog unconscious in his garden, he takes it in. He's expecting to heal it, look after it for a few days, then perhaps return it to its owners.

He's not expecting it to be one of the strongest familiars he's ever met.

Sugar Stages by VioletHaze (6k)

He heard Dean before he saw him. It was like he brought an energy into the test kitchen that crept under Cas’s skin, an awareness of his carefree attitude that was equal parts calming and infuriating. Still, Cas resisted the urge to turn and look over his shoulder. He knew damn well how the internet talked, the way they “shipped” them, always zeroing in on what they considered lingering looks. He’d seen too many gifs of himself with his eyes photoshopped into hearts not to be aware of the way his every word and action with regard to Dean were being scrutinized.

You Shook Me All Quarantine Long series by @goldenraeofsun (4 fics around 10k each)

A series of quarantine-based one-shots with Creature Cas and Human Dean.

[angelkurenai]

Black eyes and freckles - Dean Winchester x Reader

Title: Black eyes and freckles

Pairing: Demon!Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: You’ve been a hunting partner of Sam and Dean for years, and secretly in love with the second. Unkown to you is how he feels the same. When he becomes a demon and you go find him, he lies by saying he doesn’t want to come back. You find a way to become a demon too only to make him jealous and thus realize he still secretly cares about you and makes sure to prove it in a possessive way.

“I told you I didn't want to...” the man, well rather demon, started speaking with a casual smirk but trailed off once he turned in his seat to look at you and a frown formed “(Y/n)?”

“Well, ain't that just deja vu huh?” you raised an eyebrow, taking a step closer to him and reaching out for the shot he had on the bar but not drunk yet.

You still remembered the last time you'd seen each other after everything that happened with Metatron and his supposed death. The last time you remembered Dean as human and not the black-eyed monster you hunted all of your life. The black-eyed monster he on his own had struggled for years to protect you from once you started hunting with him and Sam. The black-eyed monster he had ended up becoming.

“Dean?” you whispered, your voice hoarse and laced with unshed tears. You had thought you'd lost him for good, that the man you had fallen helplessly in love with would never come back and you had not even had the chance to tell him how you felt.The lump in your throat kept you from speaking properly or breathe to begin with but you were determined to bestrong, at least you had hoped you'd be when you took the risk to track him down and have a talk with him.

“(Y/n)” it wasn't a question but the surprise was evident in both his voice and face, even before he turned to look at you to his right. He gave a small nod to the blonde waitress, whose face held some kind of surprise and recognition you couldn't explain, before she pushed away from the bar and went to another customer. She surely didn't see Dean as only that but you tried to push away the pang you felt in your chest or any hint of jealousy because you knew it wasn't the time for that. You wanted to ask her why she looked at you the way she did but couldn't.

And as Dean's eyes fully met yours when he turned to face you, you realized just how important was the reason you were doing this “Here for my karaoke show? Or maybe you wanna settle the score for that pool match I won last time?” the casual smile on his face or the way he leaned back without any single care made you choke on an incoming sob though.

“Is that all you have to say?” you whispered with a frown.

“No?” he frowned playfully “What else should I say? Something like, oh I don't know, sorry for telling you to let me go but you were too fucking stubborn to listen? You're welcome by the way for not messing with you all this time.”

“You're welc- What the hell are you talking about, Dean?” your pain mixed with anger from his words and your voice rose significantly “You think I'm thankful you went MIA after a cryptic message when we were mourning for your death which I witnessed with my own eyes?! A death that haunted my nights for weeks! A death I will never get over in my entire life! How should I be-”

“You should be, because I didn't come back to rip his throat open to make sure you wouldn't come looking for me.” he growled, getting up from his seat and towering over you, his eyes flashing black made your breath hitch in your throat but it wasn't a surprise after the video you'd seen “So yes, you should thank me.”

“I mourned you.” you whispered hoarsely and the short laugh you got from him hurt more than any stab you'd gotten in your life “I died with you that day, you don't know how it all felt. Would you still be laughing if you knew what I went through? Would you still be laughing if Sammy told you that I had not made it? Because Dean I wouldn't turn into a demon like you, I'd simply be gone. I'd be dead and you-”

“Alright enough.” you snapped, cutting you off, a kind of discomfort – and something else, all too human for you to expect from a demon – showing on his features because he was obviously bothered by hearing the word come from your lips “What the hell do you want now?”

“For you to come back.” you breathed out and the chuckle you got from him hurt less this time “Come back home to us and we- we can fix this Dean. We know how to cure demons, remember?”

“Did Sammy sent you to tell me all this? Thought I could fall for your pretty eyes the way I did when I was human? 'Cause you've always got a hold of me without realizing it? Sorry sweetheart, but it ain't gonna work this time.” he gave you a casual smile, shaking his head in a way that showed how little he cared that you didn't duel on what he said for longer than a second.

If things were back to normal and he was human you'd have thought about it just a little longer because there was just too much to read into them. The lines of your friendship had been a little too blurry from the first few years of knowing each other, but the more time passed the closer you two got and the less – you were sure at least for yourself – as a friend you saw him and the more as the man who would forever have a hold of your heart for the rest of your life. You didn't want to get to that, you knew the hunting life didn't allow any romance, even more so when it came to Dean Winchester. But the past couple years he had stood by your side in a way no friend actually would, making you wonder if he really saw you as just his best friend or something more, and only made your feelings for him get stronger. Until of course it all came crumbling down when you thought he died for good.

“Sam doesn't know I'm here.” you whispered, eyes casting in shame for a moment “He doesn't even know I found you, he's still looking. I came here because I want you to hear me out, alone.”

“Oh you will huh? This will be interesting.” he grinned wickedly “I'm listening then, sweetheart. What can you say that will possibly make me come back? 'Cause unless you've noticed this is the sweetest deal I've ever had so far, and I ain't planning on letting go.”

“But this is not you Dean!” you breathed out, placing your hands on his chest out of instinct and his smile fluttered as his eyes glanced at them for a second “This is not the real you, not the Dean I know. Not the caring, sweet and tender Dean who- whose cuddles I honestly could never get enough of in the mornings and always- I always pretended to be sleeping because I didn't wanna make a total fool of myself.” your small laugh mixed with a sob “Not the Dean whose taste in music I complained about but in my free time I would always sneak in Baby and put some cassette to listen to, with your scent calming me down after some nightmare. Baby that had always felt more of home than anywhere else just because of that reason, because she always smelled like you. Not the Dean whom I had fight with over who would get the last slice of pie. Not the Dean who would steal my fries and I gave the shoulder colder because it made me feel so important to see you try to make it up to me. Not the Dean whose terrible jokes made my entire day but I would never admit it. Not the-”

“Alright enough.” his voice was rough as he took a step back from you but before he blinked you could swear you saw a flash of emotions through his eyes “That's enough. You ain't gonna get anything from me with all that crap, you know that. This-” he spread his arms open with a smile “Is me. A much better version of me. The new, updated version and oh do I like it! I'm not that Dean, you're right, and I don't ever want to go back to it because I found out that not caring is the best thing that ever happened to me. I got rid of a big damn weight off my shoulders, namely? You and Sammy.”

“No” you breathed out just as he started getting away, taking hold of his arm and he turned to look at you after glancing at the contact he hadn't felt in months, because it was always different when you touched him “No, I won't let you. I won't!”

“Oh yeah?” he raised an eyebrow “And what are you gonna do about it?” he swiftly turned and took hold of your chin in one hand and pinned you against the bar “What are you gonna do about it, sweetheart?”

“I'm not- I'm not here to fight you.” you forced out, eyes locked with his “I can't, even if I knew I should, I just can't hurt you. Because you-” you took in a shaky breath, your eyes moving back an forth nervously but also emotionally “Because you matter the most to me in this world. In a way no words can describe and I will do everything in my power to get you back. You're so important to me and I- I just can't live without you, D.”

You hoped that the small nickname you whispered to him when you were only the two of you would get something out of him, some emotions wanting to burst out or even a part of his human side. For a moment you thought you were successful because something flickered in his gaze. When he brought his face closer to yours, his breath mixing with yours and fanning over your lips you were literally holding your breath as you waited for him to do or say something. Your eyes were half closed when you felt his lips brush past yours, making your heart leap to your throat.

“Sentiment.” he breathed out before he pulled away instantly and let go of you “Always your problem, sweetheart. Maybe one day you can get rid of that and see how much better everything is.”

“Dean, no.” you shook your head but he only clenched his jaw.

“Go, (Y/n), before this turns more bloody than you can handle.”

“I- I can't let you go, you know that. I can't leave you alone!”

“Then-” he licked his lips, running his fingers through his hair “You could always stay and I can show you all the fun we'll have. Of course you'd have to get rid of all those emotions, no big deal.” he shrugged, a smirk on his lips “Your choice.”

“You...” he started but trailed off, narrowing his eyes and holding your arm before you could take the glass with the shot “Are different.”

“No kidding! Did you notice the new haircut? I trimmed it down an inch I'm surprised you saw I-”

“Your soul.” he growled this time “It's not- It's different. What did you...” he got up from his sit, frowning at you “You're a demon.” there was a surprising harshness in his words even for him being a demon.

“Am I?” your eyes flashed black, before you grinned “Oh right, yes. Sometimes I don't see the difference emotionally, seeing how I lost everything with your death.”

“What the hell did you do?” his hold on your arm tightened and it was painful but you didn't show the slightest hint of discomfort, only shrugged innocently.

“Can barely remember. Little latin, lots of cursed blood, some sigils here and there. It all gets foggy when you get stabbed in the chest, ya know? Waking up a demon makes only a couple things clear.” you gave him a blank look, but the way his eyes widened for a split second in concern, made you smirk slightly.

“You gotta be kidding me.” he shook his head but you only gave him a casual grin, snatching your arm from his grasp.

“Nope” you said with a sickly sweet smile “You were the one that stopped caring, so I decided to do the same.”

“Why would you- Son of a bitch.” he ran his fingers through his hair “I told you-” he started with a growl but you raised a hand to stop him, shaking your head.

“Don't bother. It's obvious why I did this, and it is because of you. Because I wanted to take care of you, to make sure you'd be alright even if you weren't willing to follow me. Maybe-” you shrugged “Maybe because I deep down believed you couldn't be cured, too. And I thought that at least as a demon you'd let me do something good for, that is of course so long as I could still keep that human side of me. But... not everything goes the way we want to huh? Anyhow-” you took a seat on another stool next to his “I see things different now. I know what you told me and Sam and... now that I realize it, the old me wouldn't let you go. But the new me?”

All Dean did was clenched his jaw and watch you as he waited for an answer, as you downed his shot and licked your lips before biting the lower and leaning closer to him “Well, I don't give a fuck.” you breathed out and got off the stool “Speaking of which-” you glanced at a guy that had been checking you out all this time “You'll excuse me now. It's time I really had some fun of my own hm? Seeing as you won't join me anyway.”

But you had barely taken a step away from him before you felt a hand wrap around your arm and Dean roughly tug you back at him with a deep possessive growl. He probably didn't like the fact that you turned into a demon, deep down still caring too much for a demon to admit, but he would be damned if he let you o better yet another man ever think of laying a finger on you. You looked at him with a rather satisfied grin, as if you had been doing all this to get this reaction exactly, his face only inches away from yours.

“Forget it.” he growled.

“Well, seems like you do give a fuck after all.” you smirked in satisfaction, pressing your body closer.

“And it's about time I finally showed you how much.” he said in a rough voice, his eyes darkening and your smile only got bigger.

“And don't you worry about what your little waitress will think?” you motioned to her with your head.

“I don't care.” he breathed out, his hand finding your hip “See, we sure waited too long for that... years to be exact. We gotta make up for the lost time.”

[mycasandstarrs]

SPN 10x13: “Halt & Catch Fire”

Oh, I would never get in a car with a tipsy driver.

“Um, Billy, I don’t think this is the way to Taco Town.”

“What do you know? Your phone’s 3G.”

What a burn.

“Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promises” by the Avett Brothers.

“It’s freezing. Can you please turn off the air?”

“It’s not on.”

Shit.

“Janet, get out of the truck.”

“Um, how does she know my name?”

Who cares, get out!!

“Destination dead ahead.” hardy har har.

RIP Billy. Drove off a cliff.

Wha-?

“What did Cas say?”

“Uh, good news, bad news. Bad news – he discovered riverboat gambling.”

lol. Never took Cas for a gambler.

Alright, lets chill with Dean checking out college girls.

Nirvana shout outs. Nice.

“The air went full blast even though it wasn’t on and the radio went crazy and so did Trini.”

“And Trini is?”

“Ah, you have to excuse my partner. When it comes to technology, he’s a little behind. Uh…he just learned how to poke on Facebook.”

“Uh, um, Trini is the nav app we were using. It – It’s like a talking map. You’re Gen X. Right.”

Pfft.

“Okay, so Trini and everything else in the truck went all ‘Christine’.”

“Who’s Christine?”

“It’s a Gen X thing.”

Bazongo.

“Did Billy have any enemies? Anybody who might have had a beef with him?”

“Maybe his brother Joey. They fought all the time. It’s so sad. They never got to set it right.”

“Because Billy died.”

“No. Joey did. In Afghanistan.”

Possible ghost...

“Did Billy happen to have anything of his brother’s on him when he died? Uh, dog tags, a hat, something?”

“Just his pickup.”

“So the truck belonged to Joey?”

“Yeah. It was his pride and joy. Billy got it when he died, and, you know, it’s a thing.”

Oh, they know.

“So – so what’s a thing?”

“You know, the truck thing. You honor the deceased by driving their truck. Sam, they wrote a whole country song about it.”

Really, Sam? (Tho I think now he knows about the “thing”, considering I heard that the Impala won’t be driven by Sam while Dean is gone.) [After S14 premiere edit: what I heard was a bunch of baloney.]

You’re so petty, Dean.

A buttload of ectoplasm.

“Alright, so big brother didn’t get along with little brother, was pissed that he was driving his baby. I get it.”

“What are you saying? If you died and I drove your car, you’d kill me?”

That technically already happened, and Dean didn’t kill you for putting an iPod jack in the car.

The teen lingo just....embarrasses me.

That’s not even good lighting for a selfie.

810.

RIP Julie. Strangled with a computer power cord.

STOP WITH THE CHECKING OUT OF GIRLS.

Delilah.

“Everyone knew Billy. He was the President of Sigma Theta Delta.”

“STD?”

Pfft.

Taking full advantage of a college cafeteria.

“Nothing ever really gets deleted from the Internet. You knew that, right?”

“...Yeah.”

What would Dean hide...

“What’s 810?”

“Uh, it’s a… I don’t know. Maybe it’s a date.”

“Maybe it’s a time of day. Or an area code.”

Or a house number...

810 Down’s Drive.

Aww no, those are perfectly good flowers.

“My husband was killed in a car accident here nine months ago.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Our condolences.”

“Thank you. We were newlyweds. Never even made it to our first anniversary.”

That’s pretty damn tragic.

“Forgive me, but did you notice anything… weird after your husband’s death. Any strange disturbances or…?”

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

Yeah you do, you liar.

“Andrew Silver, 29-year old Spencer High School teacher killed in fatal accident. Uh, car burst into flames. Silver’s body was burned beyond recognition. And he is believed to have been killed upon impact.” Not exactly.

Delilah’s starting to panic.

“Delilah, stop. I’m serious. You better keep your mouth shut or you’re gonna have a lot more than a curse to worry about.” What are you gonna do about it?

“Work, Breed, Consume” by Against Empire.

8:10.

“Lower the tunes, brah! Trying to study.” lmao at the “brah”.

RIP Kyle. Death by decibel.

Better start fessing up, Delilah.

“Look we know you’re the one leaving the flowers. So, why don’t you just tell us what happened the night of Andrew Silver’s accident?”

“Uh…”

“Delilah, please. This is the third death in five days. Who knows who’s gonna be next.”

Her.

The “accident” as it actually happened.

“Take Me to Church” by Hozier.

How is everyone on their damn phone???

That is god awful.

‘Hey, you’re not calling the cops. 'Cause I already have a D.U.I., and if they find out I’m driving on a suspended license, I’m going to jail.” Billy was a piece of garbage.

So this episode is basically Supernatural’s take on “I Know What You Did Last Summer”, right down to the names Julie and Billy.

“You know, this might be a Shocker situation. The paper said that he died from a collision, but Deliliah says that he died from electrocution. So maybe that’s how he’s surfing. He’s using the power lines as a conduit.” Very close there, Dean-o.

How considerate.

“I stay up all night studying. Mostly to avoid the nightmares. My mom’s thrilled with my GPA, but I’m just… miserable.” It’s fueled by trauma. Yikes.

“It’s pretty crazy to obsess over someone you’ve never met.” You’re fucking telling me.

Delilah’s a good kid.

“Dean, Andrew’s not using power lines to move. He’s using Wi-Fi.” ding ding ding.

Turning off the WIFI on a college campus would cause mass panic, especially if they’re in exam times. 

Andrew’s coming.

Delilah’s gonna have to buy a new laptop, TV, and phone.

“Uh, I’m so sorry to bother you Mrs. Silver, but I have an emergency and I really need your help. Now this is gonna sound strange…”

“It’s my husband, isn’t it? Come in.”

Cutting right to the chase.

“It wasn’t too long after the accident that Andrew started contacting me.”

“Contacting you how?”

“Online. At first I thought it was a joke, that someone was playing a cruel joke on a grieving widow. But Andrew knew things, things that only he and I would know – inside jokes, the code to our alarm, my obsession with Lifetime movies. It was then that I knew I had my husband back, even if it was just online.”

I don’t blame her. She lost him too soon, she just wanted more time with him.

“When the kids at the college started dying, I thought it might be Andrew. But what was I supposed to do? Call the cops and tell them the ghost of my dead husband was picking off co-eds? But mostly, I just didn’t want to face the truth. Because I knew it was revenge that brought him back, and if I tried to stop him, that he might go away. And I didn’t want to lose my husband again.” 

Even when he’s not really your husband anymore?

Who the hell left their cellphone in the basement???

Dean texted Sam.

Smart of them to have Corey talk to Andrew.

Bye bye for good, Andrew.

Like I said, Delilah’s a good kid.

“I’m done trying to find a cure, Sammy.”

“Dean, Cas is so close.”

“To what? We don’t even know if there is a cure. So far, we’ve got nothing. We have found nothing at the Men of Letters library. Metatron may or may not know something. And maybe Cas is on to something with Cain.”

But he is!

“No, I’m not just gonna give up. I appreciate the effort, okay? I do. But the answer is not out there. It’s with me. I need to be the one calling the shots here, okay? I can’t keep waking up every morning with this false hope. I got to know where I stand. Otherwise, I’m gonna lose my freakin’ mind. So I’m gonna fight it til I can’t fight it anymore. And when all is said and done… I’ll go down swinging.”

Sam silently entering panic mode.

[shirtlesssammy]

13x06: Tombstone

Then:

Uncontrollable Sobbing

Now:

Where the fuck is our TFW reunion? Dean and a local lawman from Dodge City, Kansas are hunting something at night in a graveyard, when the sarge gets sucked underground by some particularly strong grabby hands. 

48 Hours Earlier

Dean and Cas are reunited and all is right in the world. (Sam. Sam is here too.) Dean asks Cas if it’s really him. Cas admits to annoying an ancient cosmic being into sending him back to Earth. Sam mumbles something about not knowing what to say, but Dean’s got this one.

“Welcome home, pal.” And Dean gives Cas a big hug ---and oh my, his face journey when he hugs Cas. What the fuck, Dean!? I know you’re in shock, but don’t pal-zone the dude. Your face is a menace.

(Sam. Sam is here too --and he gets a hug in as well.)

Cas asks how long he was gone (all calculations seem to indicate ~a month), and Dean responds, “Too damn long.” Like, when Cas finds out how long it really was, he better call Dean out on how dramatic that is. He tells the brothers that he was in the Empty. Sam surmises that Jack did something to wake him.

<Insert Fanfiction Gap where TFW discuss Cas’s new outfit, what serious pain Dean’s been in lately, the absence of Mary, and Jack not needing all those diapers after all.>

At the bunker, there’s a heartfelt meeting/reunion of Jack and Cas. This third Cas hug was really emotional for me, guys.

Jack is eager to prove to his new family that he’s studying hard, moving pencils with his mind, and finding cases to work. If he wasn’t so fucking cute, I’d have my supernatural sensors pinging right now. He wants so desperately to be good, but the more he learns about his powers, the more he’ll use them. We’re only at episode 6 --there’s a whole lot of time for him to go dark side. Jack lets the team know that “the dead are rising in Dodge City, Kansas.” Nerd Dean makes an appearance. And much to Sam and Cas’s reluctance, they decide to check it out. Off to the Stampede Motel and RV Park!

Dean books the best room in the joint (but only two beds for four grown men, smh). 

And Dean Bean really nerds out about all the western gunmen on the wall. (Sam. Sam is here too --wondering why he can’t enjoy serial killer trivia.) Also, I just about died watching Tactile!Dean touch the bison’s nose. 

While Dean and Sam prepare to crash for the night, Cas and Jack bond over not sleeping.

Dean opens the closet door to discuss how getting Cas back is a “pretty, damn big win.” Sam’s happy he’s happy, but his Dimples of Knowledge™ indicate he knows it’s more than that. And he closes the closet, conversation over.

Meanwhile, Deputy Kyle pulls over a stolen truck, only to be dragged under the vehicle for his efforts.

Later that night, Dean gets his first real good night of sleep in a month, while Cas and Jack talk about all that’s happened to Jack. Jack is just such a nougat-face wondering about heaven (angels are dicks, Jack.) They talk about Kelly, and Cas apologizes for not being there for Jack from the beginning. “Kelly would be so proud of you,” Cas assures his mini-me. It’s then that Jack sees the latest law enforcement development and runs to tell Sam and Dean. Cas, who’s watched Dean wake up angry so many times he’s lost count, runs to stop Jack from making the most egregious error, but is too late. Dean pulls his gun on him (thankfully Jack doesn’t blast him with nephilim power, right?), and then asks for someone *cough*Cas*cough* to make him coffee. 

After finding out that the deputy was found with bite marks all over, Sam and Jack decide to hit up the local graveyard while Cas and Dean check out the crime scene. After Dean’s coffee break, of course.

Classic Scene Alert

Dean and Cas pull up to the crime scene. Holy Hell, guys. I could watch this on repeat forever.

Dean bought Cas a cowboy hat --only it’s a straw hat!

Dean fixes said hat to look better, but Cas is dubious of that correction.

Cas touched Baby’s rearview mirror and lives to to see another day.

Dean is hella excited to act like he’s in the movie Tombstone.

Cas is Dean’s ‘Huckleberry”, i.e. man he’s been looking for.

Dean makes Cas watch movies with him.

Dean closes his eyes and swallows very dramatically when Cas lowers his voice and quotes Tombstone. (I don’t make the rules, that’s just canon.)

Dean is glad to have his angel back and his voice breaks when he says “Cas”.

<Insert dramatic exit from car set to the Steve Miller Band’s Space Cowboy.>

I have to admit, I’m not the biggest Steve Miller Band fan, so I was a bit meh when I first heard this, but after watching this scene a couple hundred dozen times, I’m cool with it. It’s certainly not their most played song and it’s jangly fun for the scene. I loved the record scratch at the end. And Cas’s “Howdy partner” and “Much obliged”? JFC.

Dean Agent Russell, and his associate, Cas Val Kilmer, meet with Sergeant Phillips about the victim. Turns out to be his nephew, and he’s wondering why the Texas Rangers are this far north. Dean rolls with his new role.

At the undertakers, rockabilly Athena is preparing a body for embalming while wearing noise cancelling headphones. She doesn’t hear Sam and Jack Agent’s Elliott and Paxton approach. Athena doubts Jack’s age (aww, remember when Sam was so young people doubted that he was an FBI agent? They grow up so fast.) Sam and Athena make a brief connection over Amanda Palmer and Jack fucks up and asks about cold spots. (He’s trying so hard. PROTECT.) 

At the grave, Sam finds a gnawed on hip bone. They’re dealing with a ghoul!

TFW 2.0 wonders if Athena is the ghoul, but quickly dismiss that idea. Athena, meanwhile, is busy at work, and busy being followed by a shadowy figure. Dean figures it out that they’re looking for Dave Mather, cowboy and outlaw and someone who’s been dead since 1886, “which makes this a little weird.”       

Athena’s mysterious stalker is Dave! It seems that Athena was accepted to a prestigious make-up school in LA. Dave is less than impressed. Athena spills the beans on the FBI visit, alerting Dave.

After Jack pieces it together that Dave is Athena’s boyfriend, they head out to the mortuary, looking for Dave.

Dave is busy robbing a bank.

Team Free Will 2.0 heads to the bank to stop him. They confirm that Dave is, in fact, a ghoul who's been chomping on ole Dave for a long time now. A regular Western-style shootout begins. Cas tells Jack to stay hidden but Jack's full of confidence now. He rushes out and gets shot full of lead for his trouble. But Jack's unperturbed by this. He holds up his hand and does a power blast, throwing both Dave and the bank guard violently backwards.

Dave falls to the ground but the bank guard gets knocked against a concrete pillar. When he falls to ground, he falls down dead, presumably killed instantly as soon as his head hit the pillar. Dave escapes on foot with Dean in pursuit while everyone else checks on the guard. Dean loses Dave (curse you, stray automobile!) and heads back to the crime scene where Jack is looking with horror on the dead guard who Castiel tries and fails to resurrect. This seems like a low power moment for Cas, but here's my headcanon. Cas could revive the body but the guard's soul already moved on. Since he isn't welcome in Heaven these days, Cas couldn't head up and retrieve his soul. You may say to me. Natasha. How do you explain Gadreel then HUH? To that I simply say that Cas and Charlie's souls hadn't moved on yet. (I also accept the more popular headcanon that Cas will never be max power again now that some of his grace was destroyed by Metatron’s spell.)

Anyway, the guard is irrevocably dead. They all head back to the hotel to figure out their next step.

We cut to the hotel where the camera closes in on Jack with an actual thunderclap sound effect. Yesss yes give me your heavy handed audio cues. Cas asks if it's happened before (and I'm getting some serious parent/teacher conference vibes here.) But it doesn’t really matter, does it? Because there’s a dead man in town and the police are gonna be sniffing around. Dean sends Cas and Sam home with Jack while he stays to take care of the ghoul.

Back at the mortuary, Dave stumbles in on Athena. He's bleeding, aggressive, and he's got a bag full of stolen money. He confesses to robbing graves for quick cash and a bank for mega cash. Athena hears all this, puts two and two together, and realizes that he killed the officer. Dave protests that the murder was okay because he “had it coming.” He grips her tightly and tells her that she should stick with him because he'll protect her. It's all very...UGH. Athena tells him that she'll never stay with him and I'm honestly fearing for her life right now. Because telling him she's leaving him will only lead to him rage-killing her, right? A car pulls up outside, interrupting Dave in what just might have been the knick of time.

We jump to outside the mortuary. It's the Sergeant, quickly followed by Dean! They greet each other laconically. “You here to shoot down a gosh durn monster?” “Yep.” They stalk through the cemetery and separate to flush out Dave when a hole opens up in the ground (yes, we're looping back to the opening scene) and swallows up the Sergeant. Dean rushes to the hole. It's deep and dark and Dean, bless him, hesitates at the lip of the sinkhole.

“Mmm mmm. Nope, I don't wanna,” he says and I one hundred percent back him up on this opinion. Going face first into a tiny crawl hole is the stuff of nightmares. To his credit, however, in he goes. He crawls through on his belly, shotgun in hand.

Back in the Impala, Sam and Cas try to make Jack feel better. “I've killed people who didn't deserve it,” Cas tells him. “My friends. I killed people I loved. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier...with time it hurts less but that would be a lie.” Jack ain't buying it and honestly...neither am I. I'm not convinced that telling newborn Jack that his role model isn't such a role model is the best strategy in this case. But ANYway. Cas tries to convince him that what happened was a mistake and he can still improve. “I have to believe it,” Cas says. And...AAAW CAS <3 Always swimming towards faith in something better. (High fives the Empty for drop-kicking him back to us.)

Jack is JUST DONE.

Dean finally crawls to the end of the tunnel and ends up in the undertaker's basement. He finds Athena tied up down there and the Sergeant injured but alive. A gun snicks behind Dean and he turns around to find the last player in the drama: Ghoul Dave.

Dave's wearing his cowboy hat (because why not) and orders Dean to hold his hands up high. Dave hits peak about-to-get-his-comeuppance smug, describing how he's going to kill Dean, when Dean steps aside revealing the Sergeant holding a shotgun. The Sergeant fires a carefully aimed round and takes off Dave's entire head. The blood cannon splatters across Athena's crisp, white shirt in what Boris described as cleverly staged costuming. “Happy trails, cowboy,” Dean says to the headless body.

Dean heads back to the bunker, gives the victory report, and tells Sam that he took care of covering up Jack's accident. This makes Jack angry. He's not ready to accept forgiveness and he's frustrated that everyone tells him to move on. He shouts and Sam backs away with his hands in the air. Jack recognizes their fear. “Maybe I'm just another monster,” Jack theorizes. To everyone's surprise, Dean disagrees. He's no more monster than Sam, Dean, or Cas. Jack, to his credit, doesn't think this is exactly a winning argument. Jack decides to leave so he doesn't hurt anyone else. He power blasts them all to the floor and then flaps out of the bunker.

QuoteBack Mountain:

I do.

Two salty hunters, one half-angel kid, and a dude that just came back from the dead again. Team Free Will 2.0.

He really likes cowboys

I told you, he’s an angry sleeper, like a bear.

My name is Val Kilmer.

I’m gonna get my boots on.

Tell her that the guy she's banging eats dad people and we gotta kill him.

Sure, come to Dodge City. We'll have some laughs.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[hellraiserdeano-blog]

Evil Has Always Lost Chapter 14: Epilogue

Lucifer charges back through the firey wall sliding infront of Dean Nose to nose, eye to eye "Well, it seems the boy wants to be a man" He backs up and removes his long back trench coat tossing it to the side "well, Dean, come on then" He smirk's as Dean Winchester pull's out the golden sword walking toward Lucifer as Lucifer runs at him Dean slices Lucifer down the middle much to the king of Hell's surprise before he fell to his knees, Chuck walked toward Lucifer a smirk on his face "Your arrogance led you to this moment, son" He says before crouching slightly "That sword wasn't ment to kill you, it was ment to null your power" He looks around the battlefield "and your allies have all lost, just like you, I'm sending you back to hell and everything will return to the way it was--peace on earth til judgement day" He turns to metatron "Will you, Do the honors my good man?" He smiles as Metatron pulls the type writer infront of him and begins to type. Lucifer screams as hes dragged back toward hells gate, the entire earth beginning to fix itself. the sky turns blue once more, buildings fix themselves, angels dragged to hell, Everything damaged being fixed as people cheered all believing in Gods Mircale. Dean and the other hunters are returned to normal, no longer glowing of a bright hue. Dean and Sam bid edgar Alan, Rudy, and Sam emerson a goodbye before turning toward the rest. Grant Mitchell look's around at the other hunters "Well, Mates, Its been fun. My boy, got to see his old man kick arse" Ge says as Phil Mitchell grumbles about being the first one killed Mark fowler jr. look's at Dean "This men of letters thing, you do this for a living?" he asks as Dean smiles "yeah" he replies as Mark Fowler Jr. extends a hand "Then thank you" Dean and sam shake his hand before the trio head for the Tardis. Luke Van Helsing look's at Dean then Sam "this isn't goodbye, this is just a brief departure" He hugs dean then Sam patting Sam's back "you finally stood up to the devil and lived, No one can say that" He pulls from sam then tilts his hat to them "I'll be catching you later" He walk's toward the Tardis. Dean Winchester look's at Sam Winchester "What are you looking like that for?" He say's as Sam Winchester snap's out of it "Nothing" He quickly affirms watching James Cook walk over to them "Lads! HAHA" he laughs stopping before them taking a long drag from his spliff "We did okay! yeah? The Men of Letters are fuckin' okay!" He look's back at the Tardis then at Dean "We have to do this again some time, matey's" He hugs Dean then turns walking toward the Tardis, Batman walks over to Dean and Sam looking at them "Dean, Sam, I guess this is goodbye" He says as Clark kent walked up to them "It's not goodbye, Bruce" He says as Batman turn's around "Listen here, kansas boy, you don't get to say it's not goodbye" He says as blue eyes stared back at Blue eyes. Clark Kent look's at Dean and Sam "Forgive my Friend, Bruce. He's always been a loner, This isn't good bye, its simply a seperation until the next big threat comes along--Oh, one more thing, If those british men of letters keep butting into our BUSINESS, then It won't be my fault what happens to them," He says fixing his tie as Batman stares at him "What? why are you staring at me?" He ask's as Bruce Wayne turns back to the Winchesters "If those British Men of letters poke their nose in gotham again, I'm afraid You won't be seeing them again" he holds out a hand to Dean Winchester who takes it and shakes it "You were an excellent partner against that Hockey masked freak, maybe one day we can do it again," Clark nudges Bruces rib as Bruce growls at him "AND be friends..." He says before turning and walking to the Tardis. Clark Kent look's at Sam Winchester then Dean "Statiscally, When you work as a team any thing is possible, Working solo--You might die" he tips his hat Sams way and walks away as Sam Winchester holds up hands defensively "Uh, i have no Idea what he's talking about Dean" He says as Dean look's at him "I'm pretty sure you do" he says before being interrupted by Clyde Barrows "Well, Boys it's time for me to head back to my pocket universe, do me a favour and wait a very very long time before you want my help" He put's the rifle in his coat then opens the portal and look's at Dean "Lucifer, wasn't so tough--I expected bigger" He hops inside the portal slamming shut behind him.  Dean Winchester look's at The Doctor who was walking their way "well, gentlemen, This is where we part way's. But," He look's between them a cunning smirk on his face "Does that mean theres never a meeting between us? We may part to seperate roads but, in the end all roads lead back to you" He look's back at the Tardis then at Dean "Sometimes, Having friends is more important than dying inside, We may lose our heart and we may fall apart," he look's into Dean Winchesters eyes "In the end friendship, love can rebuild us, We do not stay dead inside--In this vast universe there are brilliant people and there ARE sad people, But Dean you are not Dead inside, what happened to your mother was not yours, nor that 4 year old childs fault" He places both hands on Deans shoulders "It is time you Lived and didn't give a damn what any one says, Dean Winchester, Sam you do what needs to be done on your end but, out there, out here where I am I will do my part and protect this earth from the threat of the ever looming Evil that threatens it; This Is good bye for now, but not forever--Time Has no End" He turns snapping his fingers and heads for the Tardis. The Tardis disappears, Chuck Shurley and Metatron watched Dean and Sam before Metatron replies "What now?" He look's at Chuck, Chuck look's at metatron then at the Winchesters snapping his fingers. The Impala reappears infront of Dean and Sam, Metatron look's at him "Seriously? Your next is a Car? I fail to see the enj--" Chuck holds up a hand "You wouldn't understand, sentimental value, after all you are a scribe" He says as Dean walks around the Impala looking it over Sam looks annoyed at this "Dude, Just because it magically appears doesn't mean gawk at it like you wanna fuck it" He says as Dean look's back at him "just get in the damn car" He slides into the front seat as Sam Winchester climbs in and looks at Dean "Seriously? It hasn't even been 3 minutes and your aleady whispering sweet lovin's to it, Get a fuckin' room" He slams his car door causing Dean to sit up "Hey, Hey, you close that Door gently, we've been over this," He motions to his door "when in my baby you close her doors like you're making sweet sweet love to a girl, and when you are driving shot gun you shut your cakehole" He holds up a Cd much to Sam's dismay "No, No Dude, I--No you better not put that stupid CD in" He states as Dean pops in the CD and immdiately it plays AC/DC back in black "Back in black!" Dean sings as Sam covers his ears "Noooo!" He shouts before the impala speeds off with the song blairing loudly. Chuck Shurley tosses the spn book to Metatron "Hang on to it, But don't think you can alter it understand?" he warns as Metatron smiles "I wouldn't do that, you know that" He vanishes as Chuck Shurley turns toward A hiding Crowley "Oh, you came back? well, you're actually quite late in helping sam and Dean" He chides as Crowley pokes his head out from behind the tipped over truck "Oi! I was gonna bloody help! I just--I just had laundry that needed tended to personally, it is Bloody hard being King of hell with no god--Sorry, with no damn Help" He says as Chuck rub's his chin "Right, Right. So, you can help by fixing that strip club back up, these cars and get rid of the bodies here with a proper burial, Can't you?" he asks as Crowley just stared at him "what Do I bloody look like? A freakin' construction crpty ceeper!?" he shouts but Chuck had already vanished. Crowley curses him under his breath walking toward the bodies he hears Harley quinn crying up on one of the light posts "Oi! will you Bloody be quiet! Some people are trying to bury a good corpse!" He shouts as Harley Quinn glares at him "Fuck you! Fat ass! my Puddin; is dead!" She shrieks as Crowley turns away from her shrugging "Women, so Bloody animalistic" He walk's toward the first body he could see and look's down at it "so, you're the clown prince of crime eh? tough break, he bloody snapped your neck like a twig" He crouches down then holds out a hand "I'll just incenerate you and the rest, you won't mind will ya? I mean, you're pretty much dead any ways right?" His hand causes the ground to shake as Crowley look's up at Harley Quinn "If it's any consolation, Quinzel i'm going to give your 'sweetum's' a proper burial--by fire of course! AHAHA!" he begin's laughing then turn's toward the Joker's corpse when suddenly the Joker grabs his arm much to Crowleys Shock as Crowley falls on his ass his arm still held "Your neck--Its bloody broken!" He shout's as The Joker lift's up head down his eyes blank and dead stare into Crowleys eyes before he snaps his own neck back into place letting crowleys arm go, Harley Quinn squee's in excitement like a six year old seeing candy as The Joker begin's to smile the smile growing into a devilishly wide grin his metal teeth on full display before he brings his forearm to his mouth Crowley scurries backwards "Oh, you're a bloody freak! i'm out of here!" He disappears quickly as The Joker fall's back a chuckle escaping his throat, A laugh begins to form in his throat "AhahahahahahHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHOHOHOHOHOHO! Batsy," he grin's looking to the sky "I'm comin' for you" He places his hand infront of his mouth.

The End.