#GIVE ME A SAFETY CAR

[yukierree]

[comraderoscoes]

i actually love lewis sooooo much lmao. my hero. my mate. he is formula 1

[jtl-fics]

None of ya’ll will ever know the sheer amount of workshopping and peer review that goes into these stupid memes. ISTG.

[cheeseknives]

I watched the Scandi flick and never even thought about our speeding laws being one of the most strict in the world??

Or at least one of the strictest in Europe

[pierregaslays]

can perez take one for the team again and bin it like in practice

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

When I get out, I refuse to sabotage anything anymore. It’s fucking stressful. Instead I will go to the beach on the weekends, in my little mask and wetsuit and look for cool rocks, with a little piña colada on the shore waiting for me. I will not engage in anti-preaching because I will be too busy RELAXING and HAVING FUN to care if people join cults.

[delulu-4-lewlew]

Wellness check.

Who’s still awake during this snooze fest?

[literary-potato]

Tonight is going to cost me like 80 more dollars than I expected and at this point I don’t care because I’d rather pay a little extra to detour to a 24 hour diner in queens and get breakfast food and read Goncharov posts while I recharge my phone instead of getting carsick and migrainey in a car that smells like Too Much Cologne and has a license plate suggesting that the driver PAID US DOLLARS to advertise that he smokes a lot of weed (on a vehicle he is, again, DRIVING) after he marked himself as “arrived” and didn’t show up for another 15 minutes

[tittyinfinity]

One of my biggest pet peeves is whenever someone drives a car that beeps at them repeatedly when they don't wear their seatbelt but they're so adamant about not wearing it that they'll just let it beep the entire time

Like even if you really don't wanna/can't use the seatbelt for whatever reason I don't understand why you wouldn't at least get a silencer or buckle it behind you? Does the continuous beeping not drive you insane? It makes me want to jump out the window

[vamptastic]

time to make some online purchases and not be nervous about it at all not even a little bit

[ptolemaeaea]

Valencia e prix 2021 everyone ran out of energy because there was a long safety car period despite which they decided to add laps to the race and then the p1 driver got to the line before time was up (fe races are timed) which meant everyone behind would also have to do an extra lap and the cars all died before getting to the line it was pretty funny

oh that is pretty funny 💀💀

[carlandosferrari]

im still so pissed for logan

[side-self-shift]

hey wait isnt knuckles like canonically 16? /genq

Yes, almost every single source says he's 16. I am not a prosh¡pper and I know I will have to give him up once I get older if that's what you're concerned about

[oceantornadoo]

protective ex-husband!simon, implied violence/break-in

“i know! and that’s when i told her-“ you paused, your hand halfway to the keys at the bottom of your purse. your apartment door was open, a menacing sliver of darkness awaiting you. “hey, i’m going to have to call you back.” you ended the call with your friend, slowly backing away from your door. shit. you knew you locked the door when you left for work, and no one else had a copy of your key. a creeping sensation came over you, like someone was watching from within. slowly, you retreated, taking the elevator down to your apartment’s lobby as the anxiety crawled through your body. you wracked your brain, wondering if you should call the police. wondering if they would even believe you. there was only one call to make.

“come on, pick up.” you tapped your foot impatiently as your ex husband took forever to answer the phone. it was all you could do to not think about your home being violated, about a potential stalker or date gone wrong.

“‘ello?”

“si- simon, it’s me.”

“i know, lovie. that’s why i picked up.” you let out a quiet sob of relief at his voice, the bottle on your emotions starting to leak.

“what’s wrong?” his voice changed, immediately hearing your silent tears. he could always read you too well. “i don’t want to bother you but” you hiccupped. shit. “but my apartment door was open and i’m pretty sure i closed it, i usually do. i don’t know if im being silly but now im in the lobby and im just scared, simon.” there was a fumbling sound, the echoes of simon zipping up his jacket and pulling on his shoes.

“go to that cafe across the street, dove. go get yourself one of those overpriced hot chocolates. i’ll be there in 15.”

9 minutes later, your shaking hands were tapping random patterns on the cafe table, unable to raise your drink to your mouth without spilling it. your eyes were locked onto the wood grain, counting lines to distract yourself.

suddenly, a gloved hand covered yours. you looked up and there he was, your ghost in all his glory. you forgot everything for a second, forgot the past arguments and the strained silences, and flung yourself into his arms. you breathed in his comforting scent of pinewood that masked his cigarettes, a cologne you got him four years ago for christmas. your face was wet, and as he pulled you back to check you for injuries, his thumb brushed a stray tear away from your face. you didn’t even realize you were crying.

“‘s okay, baby. i’m here now. give me your keys.” you fumbled for your keys, purse strap sliding off your shoulder as your hands shook too much to keep it balanced. simon caught it gracefully, finding your keys in the same pocket you always kept them. “stay here. i’ll be back.” you nodded instinctively. only when you saw his figure retreat to your apartment building, clothed in all black like a figure of death, you realized you hadn’t told him your new apartment number.

twenty minutes passed. simon’s presence had worked like medicine as your heart rate has now dropped back down to normal, your hands stable enough to finish your drink. any other person would be worried for simon’s safety, but you knew the only person you should be concerned for was your intruder.

“you’re stayin’ with me tonight.” he was back, looking exactly the same. he wasn’t even winded. “thank you simon, but don’t be ridiculous. i can get a hotel. you live so far from my work anyways.” he approached you, crowding into your space as he leaned over you, even with a cafe table in between. “consider it payment then.” he tilted your chin up with his left hand as he hid his other one, covered with blood, in his pocket. “one way or another, you’re in my bed tonight, dove.” you gulped at that. “and i’ve got riley in the car. you wouldn’t abandon him, would you?” of course he had gotten your cat when he checked out your apartment. riley hated men, but never simon. cheeky bastard.

“you win.”

fast forward a couple of hours and you were getting ready for bed at simon’s, belly full from the meal he had made you. riley made himself at home on the living room couch, of course. “he’s in my spot.” you gestured to your cat on the couch. “wha’ d’ya mean?” your husband simon was now in sweats and sweats only, clean from the shower he had after you both got home back to his place. you pretended not to see him methodically wash blood out of his fingernails, reasoning quite easily with yourself that it was for a good cause.

“my couch for tonight.” simon moved toward you and you avoided his eyes, trying not to stare at how beautiful he still was. muscular but thick, torso adorned with scars you used to trace on sunday mornings when you both stayed in bed until the afternoon. he gripped your chin, forcing you to make eye contact. “told’ya you were in my bed tonight, dovie.” you swallowed and he watched your throat move, memories of you swallowing something else countless times rising to the surface.

“don’t be silly, simon. that would cross a line.”

“what line?” his arms were crossed now, drawing your attention to an unfamiliar tattoo right above his heart. a small dove.

“we’re not together anymore, simon.”

“you’re still my wife.”

silence. he was always like this, pushing you until you broke. he was unwilling to compromise, even on the smallest of issues. usually you’d fight him, spit fire until you lost your voice. tonight though, you were reminded of how he was the only person you were able to call, the only one committing dark sins without asking, all for your safety. instead, you threw your hands up and walked into his bedroom, mechanically stripping as you put on one of his shirts and a pair of boxers. you felt his eyes on you, burning a hole through the fabric. you were tired, so tired of this push and pull.

“what.” you whipped around, all venom. his eyes were impossibly soft, holding yours with a peaceful caress. “you’re as beautiful as the day i lost you.” your fire went out at that. “you’re just trying to get me naked.” you mumbled, looking down as you fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. you watched as his body came into view, pressing your forehead against his bare skin.

“could see you in a thousand layers and you’d still be the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen, dove.” ever so slowly, your hands crept up his body to grab his shoulders and neck. he picked you up with ease, turning the lights off and tucking you both in bed. “when did you get the tattoo?” you asked in the dark.

“3 months and 12 days ago.” what would have been your 3rd year of marriage, your anniversary. you lowered your head and gave him a kiss right where the tattoo was. “can we talk about it in the morning?” you snuggled into him, that familiar scent calming you once again. “always, dove.” he kissed your forehead, smiling in the dark.

----

idk why im obsessed with the break-in and simon to the rescue trope but its fueling me lately

[iinmysights]

why didn’t i think to ask if “we can only unlock and lock the car but we can’t start it” meant that they could give me a new key fob and i’d just have to use a separate key unattached to the fob to start my car until after i ended the call

[utvarpcity]

like today’s race was a mess in many ways but (thanks to checo’s mishaps) i suppose i’ve learned two things i didn’t know despite having watched for 6+ years:

- if you enter the pits during a safety car situation, you can’t join the track like. where you end up when you exit but you have to let the other cars pass???

- time penalties will carry over to the next race if you fail to carry them out even if you dnf??????? resulting in checo indycar-style joining the race again many laps behind the others to carry out his penalty