#GOD THIS WAS SO FFFFUCKIN CUTE IM LOSING MY MIND

[cognitosclowns]

Reader is on the shorter end of average height and thinks its funny that Alpha-Beta is shorter than them, they talk to them in the tube alot and make fun of them in the trolly for still being an inch too short, at some point Hes allowed his old body back cause of his good behaviour and reader has to deal with them getting revenge by using them as something to lean on, they crouch to speak with them the same way reader used to and it's all very flustering

OHOHOOO FUCK YES

SFW!!!

OHOHO YOU CAN TEASE THIS MAN INTO A FIT I STG <333

'I'm a nigh-immortal Artificial Intelligence. You really think your teasing is going to distract me? Pathetic.'

'mm-hm sure thing shortstack'

'*SPUTTERING HIMSELF INTO HOSPICE* YOU PETULANT FOOL, SO HELP ME WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE-'

he's <33 so easy to mess with. Please god pull out every fucking nickname.

Shortstack <3 Thumbtack <3 Bite-Size <3 Half-Pint <3 Legs <3 you'll see his eye visibly twitch. Hate Hate Hate. How dare you make fun of him >:((

BUT WHEN HE GETS OUT????

He ADDS EXTRA HEIGHT. listen before he was probably like,, idk 5'11?? nah he's bumping that shit up to 6'4-6'6. As close as he can get to 7'0 before Reagan tells him he's being excessive.

THE FIRST TIME YOU SEE HIM OUTTA CONTAINMENT??? the smug fucking look on his face. Seeing your eyes shoot wide, slowly raising up - craning your neck just to make eye contact with him?? <3333 ohoho he's never looked so happy.

Your life is hell <3

THIS MAN WILL PURPOSEFULLY PUT SHIT YOU NEED ON HIGHER SHELVES, JUST SO YOU'LL HAVE TO GO AND ASK HIM TO GRAB IT FOR YOU.

'I need you to grab the staples.'

'and why can't you do it?' this bitch is already biting back a grin

'... *sigh* its on the top shelf, and I-'

this big fake-gasp, holding a hand to his chest, '... this can't be the same y/n l/n who was making fun of my height, now asking me for help reaching something, is it? Because that would be awfully hypocritical.' oh he's hamming it the fuck up. He's soaking up the glory. He's basking in your glares like it's heavens light.

'you're already tall enough without the high horse. Could you please help me???'

'Of course, - what was it again? thumbtack? <3 yes I think that suits you nicely.'

HE ISN'T REALLY ONE FOR NICKNAMES. HE MUCH PREFERS LITTLE COMMENTS ABOUT YOUR HEIGHT HERE AND THERE <33

'that was a pretty high-brow joke, I'm surprised you managed to reach it'

'I could grab you a step-stool' when you're getting out of the car

'you're very down to earth.' 'is it because i'm short' 'oh yes <3'

it literally never ends <33 he has a mental list a mile-long of witty remarks to use against you.

He's not the type to lean on anything but HE'LL ABSOLUTELY LEAN ON YOU AT ANY GIVEN OPPORTUNITY. Just,, folding his arms on your shoulders and putting his head on top of yours.

If you're outside he'll stand behind you and block out the sun with this,, Shit Eating Grin.

'I'm trying to enjoy the nice weather >:('

'you'll fry like an ant to a magnifying glass <3 this is for your own safety'

He places books on your head at the Perfect Angle to balance on top with no effort - the coffee table is right there, but no <3 he's gonna put it on your head. because fuck you (affectionate) <3

ITS OK THO <333 NOW YOU CAN MAKE FUN OF HIM BEING SUPER TALL

'I'm surprised you didn't hit your head on the way in <3'

AND HE JUST STARTS SPUTTERING ALL OVER AGAIN BC IN ALL HIS WISDOM HE COULDN'T FATHOM THAT YOU'D.... STILL FIND A WAY TO MAKE FUN OF HIM <333

GOD GOD GOD THIS WAS ADORABLE TYSM <333