#GayGrief

[casualcloudchaos]

Circle Back

Everytime I circle back to

my grief

I look for a book that

I’m sure

I bought the last time I was grieving

 That book that tells me what I’m experiencing

That book that gives me language for the

energy inside

and the absence of energy outside

 But it’s not there

 I remember a poem, and an article, and

a series of photocopied sheets of paper that

my therapist gave me

the last time I was grieving

Maybe just remembering them is enough because

I don’t know where they are

 And it’s different this time because it’s not the

first time or

the second time

or the third time

I’ve been here many times before so

it’s different this time

 but still I wish there was something

to read

something to do

 but still I’ve been here before so I know

the quickest way through is to not go

anywhere at all