#Got them medicine or hrt or helped them clean their room or just gave them affection and a safe place :((

[aftermathing]

So much mental health advice is like "ask for help!! Don't be afraid to rely on your friends and family to get you through this!!" girl what if i do not have friends or family*

[luytenae]

More JakuRamu kisses!

This time I’m writing a TDD era piece! Hope you enjoy it!

Kiss number 30: as comfort

//blood, periods

Life as someone with an uterus and ovaries isn’t always easy. Ramuda had recently started HRT, but, as the doctor said, it could take a couple of months for his periods to disappear and, since his body was now multiplying the amounts of testosterone, it could also make his periods worse. And oh man he was feeling that. The young designer had to leave the meeting earlier than expected due to severe pain, and barely managed to arrive home.

With whatever little strength he had left, he struggled to take out his jeans –indeed a good day to wear white ones, as if it wasn’t difficult to clean blood stains from white fabric–, changed his underwear after taking a quick shower, put on a clean pad and threw himself into the couch, curling into a small and whiny ball.

“Damn Chuuoku… Why did they make me have an uterus and all? They could have modified that when they created us, couldn’t them? It’s not like they’re gonna allow me to have kids, right?”

The pink-haired man hated these kind of days; and even if he now had the relief that they would be soon over, it still pained him. It was a physical pain that reminded him of being artificially created, and even though his body ached in a human way, he could feel the detachment from that humanity he yearned to achieve. Why was everything so difficult? Why, even if he could understand and feel pain and emotions, didn’t he truly feel like he did get what they meant?

Turned into a small ball covered by blankets, the fashion designer decided that it would be best to turn the voices in his head off for the day. He was feeling weak, so Ramuda decided it would be best if he slept on the sofa, since the bathroom was closer to the living room. Just in case.

However, the man couldn’t sleep that much. His body was reacting to the period aches, and kept him constantly on watch. It was like a naturally programmed response he despised, because all he wanted was to sleep peacefully for once. Apparently, that was much to ask for.

After taking a couple of lollipops –the only medicine the pink haired man could think of– he finally fell asleep for a couple of hours, enough to rest his body and mind for a while. His dreams were pitch black as usual, full of voices of former clones that asked why did they have to disappear. Or, perhaps, it was his own voice, moaning in desolation for an almost certain future.

However, the voice that woke him up wasn’t his, but Jakurai’s.

“Is everything alright, Amemura-kun? You were shaking and sweating in your sleep…”

Ramuda’s first thought was how the hell did the doctor enter in his apartment, but after clearing up his mind, he remembered he gave the older man a copy of the keys.

“Ahaha… I’m just having a rough day, but it will be over super duper soon!”

Even maintaining his façade was tiring today, but he had to do his best. Jakurai had already seen through his mask, he needed to be careful.

“Yes, I know it. I think kept a good track of your cycle, and I came to give some aid”

The smaller man blinked in surprise. Is that how it felt being taken care of? Jakurai gifted him with a tender smile as he took a chair and placed it by the sofa, preparing to reveal whatever he brought in the bags he was holding. It was just the usual: pads and wipes, as well as some chocolate bars –he was a doctor, yes, but he knew Ramuda’s cravings during his periods well enough by now; and a little bit of chocolate every once in a while wasn’t going to hurt–.

“I have also brought medicines, just in case you didn’t have any-“

His speech was interrupted by Ramuda, who threw himself into the comfort of the doctor’s arms. The scent of lavender soothed the young fashion designer, and the warmth of the embrace made him recover his usual cheerful mood.

“Thank you so so much! I… I really appreciate the gesture.. You didn’t have to memorize my periods, you silly!”

Jakurai kissed his head tenderly, caressing his hair at the same time.

“It doesn’t bother me to do so. I just felt it would be of help”

Ramuda laughed, changing seats from the sofa to the taller man’s lap and, as he got himself comfortable with his head on the other’s shoulder, he thought that, right now, not even Chuuoku’s orders mattered.