#HOWD THIS GO SO HILARIOUSLY WRONG

[raptorflower]

MAKESHIP

MAKESHIP PLEASE

IM BEGGING YOU

I DONT BLAME YOU MAKESHIP BUT PLEASE

STOP LOSING WALLY IM GOING INSANE HOWD THE COURIER LOSE HIM

IM GONNA CRY HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED WHO DID THE COURIER LEAVE HIM WITH WHY WONT THEY TELL EITHER OF US

WTF IS HAPPENING

This is like some fucked up cosmic pranks where NO ONE is in on it holy

The COURIER SERVICE has no idea who he ended up with oh my god just he got delivered

TO WHO IDK BC ITS NOT ME

THEY ALSO APPARENTLY DONT KNOW WHO OR HOW WHICH IS . A WEIRD PROBLEM

To be clear i blame no one involved makeships been lovely and patient trying to figure this out but houh my god HOW did this happen hows everyone in the dark on where the F4CK wally ended up

Some dude out there just has a lil guy now i guess-

[ficauthor]

Im watching gravity falls for the first time but i have some knowledge. (ie im reckless and look at tags knowing there is spoilers lol)

I know there are two grunkles both possibly named some variation of stan. One with six fingers and that one fucked a triangle. i also tjink theyre exes? Or like theres a book that says they are. Either way ?

I know theres books and the other stan(?) wrote them? There is... A portal? And it somehow facilitated the situationship betwixt man and angle.

Bearded man also fucked stans twin? the picture i have of stan 2 the squeakwel is just of a messy messy man who has alot to clean up from his ho era.

I also know that things are about to go very very wrong. It hasnt yet cause im only up to fight fighters but like i feel in my bones something more than the 8.5th president is going to occure

anyways I've had thoughts.

One: robbie is fucking hilarious. Hes 15 deeply deeply insecure and beefing with a Twelve yearold. Like you won. You got wendy to say yes to a date theres negative reason to challenge a child to a fight. Hilarious cant wait for him to lay awake at night and cringe at that memory. especially bc dipper giving her a black eye was his wingmanning! Funny dude cant wait to see what happens with his disaster of an ass. (also during the time travel ep i was like damn robbie can suck a little but hes not that bad. Timing was strange but him asking out wendy was kinda sweet. Then fight fighters happened lol. Man is so wrapped up in making a child feel bad he ignored his gf. Terrible give me five more.)

Two: holy shit the wax figure thing mustve been so upsetting for grunkle stan. Like he shrieked upon seeing it! He crawled away backwards. I might be reading to far into that but he seemed scared (?). I love how quick he recovered for mabels sake tho their dynamic is so sweet. Shes a little weird girls and hes like taking her under his wing. the definition of dad who didnt want a pet. I love how they understand each other.

Did he wonder, even for a moment, if it was his dead/missing brother??? Like i have brothers if we still looked alike enough to be twin levels of similar and someone made a statue of me id also scream. Also like his investment in having the "murder" solved feels so weird knowing he has a mysterious disapeared twin. his investment feels heavier. Like hes projecting his grief.

Does watching Mabel and Dipper interact happily make him miss other stan? also how do other family members feel about this diapearance? Clearly bad since they never told dipper and mabel. But them being the grunkles implies they have at least on more sibling. Howd they feel about the disappearance?

I cant wait to get more details on those two. i feel like their relationship has to be all levels of fucked for him to never mention having a twin. Like no matter how mad i was with my bros id fucken mention them at least once even by accident to their nibblings.

Three: i like how often mabels outfit changes i love her silly themed sweaters and fun earrings. The cross fingers gag on the back of her sweater after lying to her grunkle stan made me laugh. Shes so weird and fun and loud and i love her. Dispite now being a guy i see myself in weird little girl characters. Like yeah i too would've glued a hot glue gun tomyself and wore chips as earrings. I too would have lost my mind over losing my pig. delightful i adore her randomness.

Four: dipper is equally relatable but in a way that makes me scream lol. His anxietys are so familiar to me hope he sees someone for that. And that book cannot be helping. The author was clearly paranoid and while dipper wrote that he trusts mabel i worry that he wont always.

I dont have a five but i might reblog in a few eps and rambke further

[davestriderpostscratch]

What got you into homestuck? Like, howd you hear about it?

hmmm okay actually i remember this very vividly. it’s a very involved story so let me start at the very beginning

when i was in sixth grade i joined the drama club at my middle school as a junior stage technician. incidentally i was the ONLY junior stage technician, because i was the only sixth grader on the set crew—everyone else was a seventh or eighth grader, including all my fellow stagehands

so if you’ve never done theater tech (or if you HAVE done it, but have never been a stagehand/only been on lights or sound) you should know that it involves a LOT of quiet downtime. you only do much of anything during scene changes, obviously (unlike the light and sound guys who’re in action constantly), but you can’t leave the wings and go backstage unless it’s urgent, for multiple reasons (it moves the curtains distractingly, you need to hear the lines/your cues, the stage manager might lose track of you bc you don’t have a headset, etc). so a good 75% of the experience is made up of just sitting there, watching the show from the side and making very little noise, which is cool if you like the production your class is putting on and boring as fuck if you don’t. (i much preferred being stage manager in eighth grade and head of the props department in tenth grade to ever being a stagehand.)

so when i was in sixth grade, i wasn’t that impressed with the show we were doing (shrek, lol) and neither was the rest of the crew, and having cool older friends gets you very far in middle school, so i started talking (quietly, of course) to my fellow stagehands—james, bobby, and peter—and the stage manager, keith. james, bobby and keith aren’t important here, although i have a great wealth of funny stories involving them; the REAL star of this part of the tale is peter

peter and i became very good pals because he is hilarious. also we ended up being on the track team together the next year but that’s less important. the point is that he is so funny and he was a whole year older than me and i thought he was so cool. and if you’ve never done theater tech, you should know that—again, for obvious reasons—you can only wear black backstage, preferably long sleeves and long pants (especially if you’re pale to begin with)

so peter, who is part of the set crew, comes to a dress rehearsal one day. in the karkat fit. no makeup or horns or anything obviously but like he had the jeans and the gray shoes and the cancer symbol sweater. and my zodiac sign, coincidentally, is cancer, so i asked him about the shirt (nice shirt, where’d you get it, are you a cancer too, etc) and he got REAL quiet. and says “i’ll tell you after the show.” so now i’m nervous that i said something wrong and i was gonna lose my cool seventh grader friend. but no. after the show he pulls me into one of the back halls where we keep the props and costumes. and Tells Me About Homestuck.

so i’m like ok. i have to impress my cool friend. so i go home and pull up the comic (this was back when it was still mspaintadventures dot com) and got 1/3 of the way through act one before giving up. a mostly universal experience. i did NOT skip to act five for the trolls because i didn’t know they existed yet. so i sort of chalked it up to just not being my thing and went on with my life. but it planted the seeds

fast forward to… seventh grade? just left sixth grade? (june 2016, right around when homestuck was actually ending) and i’m having a sleepover with my friend gianna, who is like. COMICALLY rich. “tiffany-themed birthday party” rich. “caribbean cruise every vacation” rich. “doesn’t understand why everyone doesn’t own two smartphones” rich. but she was very nice and i liked her a lot (still do! we’re still pals) so we hung out all the time ESPECIALLY that year bc we shared a lot of classes

so we’re in her bedroom doing sleepover stuff (i think we were trying to pirate a movie on her desktop computer) and we get to youtube somehow and we start watching videos that were funny in 2016. vine compilations or whatever. and EVENTUALLY . SOMEHOW. we stumble upon the iconic and eternal after us animation by the inimitable toastyglow. gianna was (and still kind of is) VERY into anime and i think she thought it WAS for some kind of anime, since “homestuck” isn’t in the video title or thumbnail or anything, so she put it on and we watched it. she wasn’t insanely impressed but hand to god i felt my life changing forever

this is where gianna being a rich weeb becomes important, because it means that she goes to a LOT of conventions. i had never been to a con of any kind before like late 2017 but gianna had been going to them for years. crucially, the years of our lord 2012-14, when we were 9/10/11 or so and first old enough to really go to a con and enjoy it to the fullest because we started having our own money and shit like that, was the Peak of the homestuck craze. it was inescapable even at the teeniest tiniest cons, and we live in detroit where there are actually decently BIG cons every year, so even though she’d never actually read the comic, she absolutely knew about it and told me of it. and so the seeds grew

fast forward like four months to fall 2016. i’m in this stupid shitty Kik groupchat with a bunch of undertale RPers i met on amino, because i was a lame little thirteen year old. we skyped each other and e-dated and everything. it was kind of a shitshow objectively but they were pretty cool. but i joined the chat the february before, and now it’s like, september. and all of a sudden. like a wave. a tsunami, even. like a zombie plague. the undertale icons start getting replaced by grey aliens with candy corn horns

i swear to flipping christ the stars perfectly aligned such that everyone in that damn group chat entered their homestuck phases at the exact same time. it was surreal. i felt like i was in the fucking twilight zone. like i woke up one day and everyone had typing quirks

so of course i’m like i gotta get in on this. all i know of homestuck is the snippet of act one i’d read the previous school year and the three minute long animation i’d watched over the summer, but it was enough to truly pique my interest. enough for the seeds to truly take root and flower. i sat down at my desk over thanksgiving break and opened up mspaintadventures dot com once more. and the rest is history

and you know what. you know what. i don’t talk to peter anymore really (he went to college out of state) and i DEFINITELY am not in that RP groupchat anymore (left it that december, actually), but you know what HAS survived all these years as a forever remnant of that era of my life. aside from my friendship with gianna and my appreciation for the 2016 glass animals album “how to be a human being”. that’s right, baby. i’m still a filthy homestuck

[majorxbennyxboy]

THE SARAH LIVINGSTON DEBACLE SHOULD BE MADE FUN OF AT ALL TIMES AND I AM GLAD IT IS BY YOU GOOD SIR

ACTUAL TRANSCRIPT OF THE SARAH LIVINGSTON DEBACLE:Ben: *collapses, having been Shot, and falls unconscious not too long after a haunting and beautiful song plays. he is then rescued from the pouring rain like an Austenian Heroine*Sarah: *displays Strenth by dragging a soaking wet Grown Man several yards, Capability and Know-How by Healing His Wound, Softness™  and Compassion by praying for and weeping over him, Fierceness when she literally threatens him at gunpoint, and then hints at a Deeper Backstory*They: *look at each other*Ohhhhhhh my *furiously wipes off sunglasses but like w a gluestick bc i don’t wanna see anymore, we All know exactly where this is going in fact we Know the second we see her Their first convo is innocent enough Ben: christ ive been shot againSarah: howd u like to be shot again if u dont start talkingBen: wow okay uhm well it’s the honest truth i was doin the lords workSarah: …that flies I guess heres ur necklaceBen, thinking: ew gross I took that from a dead man *aloud* haha thank u :)

AND THEN THEY’RE LITERALLY A HALLMARK MOVIE OKAY THEY CHECK EVERY HALLMARK MOVIE BOX WE HAVE THIS SOLITARY LADY, LATER CONFIRMED WIDOW, CARING FOR A WOUNDED SOLDIER BOY? And there’s a lil bit of a Mistaken Identity Element to it bc she thinks she’s actually caring for a Wounded Preacher Boy. Goes all the way up thru helping him walk as they exchange Awkward Smiles and even more awkward dialogue The cringiest dinner scene ever oh my soul and body it does not get more awkwar- the only more awkward food scene is the cut version of this scene. Sarah decides Ben’s trustworthy enough to unlock the Tragic Backstory and Ben just. flatlines. “…I have no idea how to respond and I’m gonna seek refuge in this plate of whatever we’re eating…”  Later that evening Sarah gets sus that Ben has a fever and apparently determines that he is indeed Hot™  tu sais ce que je dis?this is the only instance in the entirety of TURN that they are at all timely with the fade to black we get like five seconds of Ben going “holy sh-” and then it’s over. Thank. Heaven. the music is on point tho. They have a weirdly Nice theme.

AND THEN THE NEXT MORNING BEN’S TRYNA BE ALL LOVEY DOVEY AND SARAH’S JUST LIKE “NOPE SORRY I’LL GIVE YOU A HASHBROWN OR SMTHN AND THEN YOU CAN GO”AND IT GOES SO HILARIOUSLY WRONG SO FAST IT’S A TRAINWRECK AS BEN TRIES TO SALVAGE THIS ‘RELATIONSHIP’ AND JUST MAKES IT WORSE. IT’S ZERO TO A THOUSAND “but sarah im,,,,a patriot,”“YOURE TRASH IS WHAT YOU ARE”“WAIT WHAT”“TRASH”and she just goes from kicking him out to kicking him the hell Out she means it.

his very first girlfriend and it goes just about as horribly as it possibly can X’D And then, then X’D He has to crawl back thru miles of Dangerous Territory, All By Himself X’D And he gets back to camp! AND FINDS OUT ALL THE CULPER STUFF HAS GONE TO HELL AND ANNA  LITERALLY DID PRETTY MUCH THE SAME THING AS HIM X’D *coughs* it’s horrible tbh it’s so- it’s so bad it’s freaking hysterical like it’s one massive ball of “OH NO” 

just the fact that some TURN Writer was like *loudly slurping a milkshake or something probably* “you know what we should do? We should derail Ben on a completely unnecessary misadventure that is orchestrated with no bigger purpose than getting him in bed with somebody and, once we kill her, giving him some ongoing backburner angst that has little to no actual impact on the overall plot. The fans will love it.”

gotta laugh to stave off the frustrated indignation and tears :’)