#Haru Katō

[linkemon]

Negotiations (Kambe Daisuke x Reader x Katō Haru)

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Other oneshots can be found here.

ᴋᴀᴍʙᴇ ᴀꜱᴋꜱ [ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ] ꜰᴏʀ ʜᴇʟᴘ ɪɴ ᴘᴏʟɪᴄᴇ ɴᴇɢᴏᴛɪᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ ᴅᴏᴇꜱɴ'ᴛ ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ɪᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴇɴᴅ…

ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ɪɴꜰᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ: 1. ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴠᴇʀꜱɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴜʀɴᴀᴍᴇ ᴀᴠᴀɪʟᴀʙʟᴇ: ᴋᴀɴʙᴇ (ʀᴏᴍᴀɴɪᴢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ) ᴀɴᴅ ᴋᴀᴍʙᴇ (ᴇɴɢʟɪꜱʜ ᴠᴇʀꜱɪᴏɴ). ɪ ᴄʜᴏꜱᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ ꜱᴛɪᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀʟʟ ᴍʏ ꜱʜᴏᴛꜱ.

— Kanbe-san, would you like it? — [Reader] held out a colourful box towards him.

— What's that? — he asked, glancing towards the bento.

— Nothing big. I made an extra portion. — The woman looked away. — Some rice and vegetables.

She didn't want to admit to her co-worker that she spent an entire hour making second breakfast. It almost made her late for work. However, she knew that Daisuke didn't eat just anything and she was afraid to offer him any food.

— Ooo, [Reader]-san did you make it yourself? — Katō looked over her shoulder.

He had slightly windblown hair. It was easy to guess that he had just entered the office because he still hadn't taken off his jacket.

— Don't waste your time on him — he continued. — Plebeian — he drew quotation marks in the air — food is not up to his standards. But I'll be happy to taste it.

— As it happens, I'd love to try…

— Too late! — Haru snatched the box and that's all they saw.

— Sorry, maybe next time you'll get it. — The woman smiled slightly.

— That's okay. — Kanbe glanced towards his lost breakfast. — We need to talk. I have a proposition for you.

***

Daisuke discreetly pressed the earring again. Unfortunately, to no avail. HEUSC did not respond in any way. The characteristic quiet beeping was not heard. Someone must have disabled the system in the residence. The man could not inform Suzue about the situation and asked the services to stay away. It was a hopeless situation.

A man named Ichiban Takata stood in front of him. Cornered on the roof of a skyscraper, he began threatening that the group would not get out alive if they did not meet his demands. The gun was aimed directly at him and Haru.

The attacker's hand was shaking slightly and beads of sweat were beading on his forehead. It was clear in his eyes that he didn't really know what he was doing. It occurred to Kanbe that maybe someone else was behind this and he was just a pawn. However, this hypothesis had to wait.

— I want a helicopter! — the thief shouted. — One police pilot inside!

He visibly swallowed, choosing his next words.

— You — he pointed to [Reader] — come over, take the phone and contact those downstairs. I give them ten minutes.

— They won't be able to do it in such a short time...— she muttered.

The woman felt heat washing over her. She never took part in the negotiations. Daisuke asked her to take on this new role. Unfortunately, the original plan failed when someone cut off communication with the crew under the building.

— If they won't make it, I'll kill him! — He pointed the gun at Haru. — Next one in another ten minutes!

The thief dropped the phone and then kicked it lightly towards her.

— Turn on speakerphone.

She approached slowly. She picked up the phone with a trembling hand. She knew Hoshino's number by heart and yet she made a mistake twice.

— [Reader], is it over? — She heard the voice of a friend from the First Division on the phone.

— Send a helicopter within ten minutes. — She looked at Ichiban with concern.

— What are you talking about? We won't be able to do it a time like this. Let Kanbe-san arrange his private one for you.

His voice clearly showed his annoyance.

— It must be police one. Only one pilot — she added, seeing the barrel heading towards Daisuke.

— Listen, I'm not a miracle worker. Twenty-five must be enough for you...

Wildness flared in the thief's eyes the moment he heard this.

— You don't take me seriously. — The attacker laughed, tilting his head back. — I'll damage you a little and you'll start trying harder!

He pulled the trigger.

[Reader] instinctively jumped as if she were practicing. She grabbed Takata's wrist, pointing the gun in a different direction. The man was so strong that he pulled her down. They fell onto the hard concrete roof. They rolled almost to the edge. The struggle was accompanied by the sounds of gunshots.

Someone was shouting from downstairs. Apparently the police had already realized that the plan had failed.

Kanbe was the first to reach the two fighting and pulled out his gun. Haru pulled Ichiban down with all his strength, pinning him to the ground.

— Do not move! — the detective aimed.

He pushed the bag of money away. He suspected there might have been something else there. He preferred not to take risks.

— [Reader]!

The woman was lying in a rapidly growing pool of blood. She pressed her stomach, breathing heavily. Eyelids drooped involuntarily.

— She doesn't answer!

***

Haru ran towards the mansion. He regretted that he had allowed himself to be detained by the police for so long.

The light of the lamps illuminated the omnipresent darkness. It was already after midnight when he reached the long white corridor. It seemed to him that the entire journey from the place of the accident had no end.

Everything around looked sterile and quiet.

Every automatic door let him through without any problem. Apparently HEUSC was told he was coming here.

Only at the huge glass window did he meet the first living soul — a nurse carrying a bloody sheet. Kanbe was standing right behind her, staring blankly at what was happening on the operating table.

[Reader] lay limp, hooked up to the machines keeping her alive. Katō watched as the doctors performed the surgery. He felt powerless. He was always ready to act and now he couldn't do anything. He placed his hand against the cool glass as if it would help him get to the other side.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the detective's stoic expression. It's been a long time since he felt such open anger and hatred towards anyone. When he thought about it more, he was sure it had never happened to him. This case was an exception.

Everything he did and said was the exact opposite of what the man had believed all his life. He presented the opposite image of a real policeman.

Haru had held back his outbursts after their first stormy encounter. But now the situation has taken its toll.

— It's all your fault! — Blinded by anger, he grabbed him by the collar and pushed him towards the wall.

Daisuke didn't react. He was still staring intently at the operating room.

It was hard for the millionaire to describe what he was feeling right now. He believed in [Reader]. He wanted her to become part of his team and work with him. When she agreed to take part in the action, he was secretly glad that he would spend more time with her.

Now the defeat hit him painfully. Its bitter taste danced in the recesses of his mind.

He didn't predict everything. No amount of banknotes from the family fortune could help him guess how the woman would behave.

— Calm down. It won't help her in any way...

— Do you think that since you arranged transport and the best doctors, everything is fine?

The blow came quickly. He knew boxing well. He trained for years, and yet despite his knowledge, he could not defend himself against this attack. As blood dripped onto his previously pristine suit, he realized he needed a physical hit. He wanted to receive it because it was a punishment for his own negligence and greed. The one and only time he really wanted something so bad, it ruined everything.

He held an embroidered handkerchief to his bleeding nose.

The anger in his opponent's eyes was replaced by terror. Only after a while did he realize what was happening behind the glass.

— Damn it! We're losing her. Defibrillator! Step aside! Three, two, one...

The voices blended into one as he stood shoulder to shoulder with his enemy, watching what was happening. Only her name escaped his lips. In a voice so quiet that no one heard it.

The cold chilled him from head to toe. He wouldn't let himself move.

— She's stabilizing. Heart rate is normal.

— We continue.

He released the breath he had been holding for a long time.

***

Haru knocked gently on the white door.

— Come in. — A slightly sleepy but familiar voice answered him.

He pressed the door handle. Outside the doorway, he almost bumped into a basket of flowers. To his surprise, the entire hospital room was full of them. Various colours and species together created a picturesque composition.

— What is all of this? — he asked.

— Daisuke sent them to me. He even attached a letter of apology and...— [Reader] did not finish.

She had a nasty cough. Katō felt his heart tighten at the sight.

— It's a bit old-fashioned. Adorable, isn't it? — she added.

He didn't like the way the millionaire solved everything. He himself came to meet the woman face to face. Meanwhile, Kanbe was unable to do even that. It made him feel a little better, even if he was consumed with guilt.

— You should drink a lot, so I brought you something extra. — He pulled the bag from behind his back.

— My favourite. — She looked thirsty at the tea. — Thanks.

Haru also pulled out a chocolate cake.

— I am not allowed. My parents left a moment before you. The doctor told them that I would get over it but he strictly forbade sweets — she moaned.

— Don't worry. When you get out of here, we'll go to the pastry shop. — He winked.

There was an awkward silence. Haru tried to gather words but his mind was a black hole. Only his face showed how much he was fighting with himself.

The woman rose to a sitting position.

— I know what you want to say. — She sighed.

— You shouldn't jump then. — He clenched his fist firmly.

— It was my decision!

— We could've handle it! You didn't  have to! — The man got up from the chair.

— You are a policeman. How can you say that?

— I can say that because...

— What are those screams? — Kanbe entered the room.

— Everything's all right. I was just explaining the situation to Katō-san. — She touched her head with her hand and a sharp pain shot through it.

She knew it was nerves. She was forbidden to get angry. Just like a lot of other things from the list titled: 'You've had surgery and you mustn't...'.

The millionaire nodded, sitting on the other side of the bed.

— I called Hoshino. He said they recreated the situation. There was an 87% chance one of you would have been hit dead, so I'm going to be glad I got attacked. We're all here in one piece and that's what counts.

— You almost died! — Haru pointed an accusing finger at her. — And you — he turned his head towards Daisuke — how can you be so calm?

— Kanbe-san explained everything he wanted to say in the letter. Trust me, he cares as much as you do. — She smiled slightly.

— I still stand by what I wrote. Do you already have your answer? — the previously silent man chimed in.

The senior policeman didn't miss the way [Reader] blushed after being asked the question.

— What do you two are up to again?

The woman glanced at the millionaire. He nodded. He made it clear that she could say it.

— I was asked out on a date — she whispered embarrassed.

— By whom? — Haru's voice rose by an octave.

It took him a moment to realize that he had asked a question with an obvious answer.

— Him? — He looked in disbelief. — But you haven't given him an answer yet?

[Reader] nodded.

— Then please think about it. I know I can't provide you with as much comfort as he does but I promise I will take care of you, protect you, cook you dinner, take care of you when you are sick, and try to make you happy. I will put all my strength into it because you are worth it. — He bowed.

He knew he couldn't pour all the feelings behind it into this confession. However, he didn't have time and he didn't want to miss his chance.

He didn't have a fortune but he knew he didn't need it. He had a number of other advantages and hard work.

Daisuke looked at him. He knew they had always been rivals in this matter. They just never came out about it until now.

— Let me repeat what I wrote in the letter again. [Reader], you are unique, you have a number of virtues and if you just give me time, I will list them all. Thanks to you I strive to become a better person, so I promise that I will try and learn every day. This accident made me realize how much I care about you, so give me a chance. I will do my best to be worthy of you — he concluded.

The woman looked at both men. She knew a lot about them but still not everything. But it didn't change her feelings. After all, she had known for a long time...

— I don't need time — she said confidently. — Yesterday I sorted everything out in my head. You are both close to me but only one of you I have been thinking about for a long time and it's...

[moonlight-melts]

Until next time

First meeting go brr-

I know jackshit about the law system in Japan, and this isn't meant to be accurate. While I do wish to study law myself, I doubt anyone would want to read accurate paperwork descriptions. So this is a much more light-hearted, Phoenix Wright-y type of narrative.

Uh, Aloïs gets praise 'cause... I'm insecure and this is my self-insert and I get to make him cool and liked. Also, since I know it's confusing and I never said it before: "Aloïs" is pronounced "Ah-low-is"

TW murder, they talk about a murder case at the beginning. It's not really graphic, but I feel like it deserves a warning still.

Please REBLOG my writing!! Reblogs > likes

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Bright-eyed, 24-year-old Aloïs Laval stepped into the police's First Division office for the first time at exactly nine in the morning, a thick file under his arm. He was accompanied by Yamaguchi Hiroshi, a pretty well-known defense attorney in the office Aloïs started working at a few weeks ago. The young man's intelligence quickly resonated with the lawyer, who took him to an appointment he had scheduled that day so he could "watch and learn from the best".

Frankly, Aloïs was just happy to be praised for his hard work. He had a slight smile on the lips, and was looking forward to what was going to be said later.

The case was simple, really. A woman had killed an ex-business partner of hers, over what seemed to be a disagreement. Yamaguchi, however, was convinced that there was more to this case than met the eye, and he wanted to prove it. The woman may have been guilty, but maybe, maybe she wasn't just blinded by rage when she pierced a hole in her ex-partner's chest with a kitchen knife.

Yamaguchi seemed to be acquainted with the detective in charge of the case. They greeted each other like old friends. The detective, too, was accompanied by someone. A young man around Aloïs's age, maybe a year younger, with light brown eyes and taupe hair, wearing a suit with the First Division's pin. Aloïs smiled at him, the young man smiled back.

-And so you are...?

The detective asked. Aloïs bowed.

-My name is Aloïs Laval. I started working at Yamaguchi's office recently.

-He's a smart little fellow. Yamaguchi added. And that one with you? I've never seen him before.

-Ah, Katō Haru, assigned to assist me! He's new here, but he's doing a good job. He tends to be a bit zealous, but he's good.

Both Aloïs and Haru smiled bashfully at their seniors' compliments. Then they moved to an empty office (the detective's, Aloïs guessed, as the nameplate on the desk said "Dt. Kojima Masao"), and talked about the case. Yamaguchi and Kojima disagreed often, but often found a common ground. Until, at last, they got to the core of the problem.

-You think there might have been some sort of treason? Kojima asked, clearly not convinced. Yamaguchi, please... They aren't middle schoolers, they are grown adults!

Yamaguchi didn't seem sure of what to answer to that. Aloïs cleared his throat, his finger on something in the file he opened a few minutes ago.

-Actually, what appears here is strange. The victim is the only one who signed the contract when their property was sold. The defendant's name doesn't even appear anywhere.

-You don't think...

Kojima frowned, and Aloïs shook his head.

-It's just a supposition. But maybe the victim sold it without ever telling the defendant. In that case yes, I guess you could call it a treason. Especially since it was sold for around... A million American dollars, which makes a bit less than 150 millions yen. It was more than worth it... In appearance. She paid it cash -no pun intended.

Yamaguchi nodded proudly. Aloïs felt eyes on him, and his eyes met the other detective's... Katō was his name, right? Aloïs tilted his head, as if asking if anything was wrong, but Katō just shook his head.

Strange, Aloïs thought, but he didn't look too much into it.

-That is an interesting theory, Laval. Kojima said. It might be true. I'll look more into it for you, Yamaguchi, and I'll send it all by email... Tomorrow. Or the day after, maybe... We'll see!

-Perfect. Thank you for your help, Kojima. You're always there when we need you.

-Always, old man, always. We should have a drink sometime.

-"Old man"? Respect your seniors, youngster, or else! Ah, Aloïs! Makes me think! When you get back to the office tomorrow, make a call to the victim's company, to see if they allow us to... Check her office.

-Of course, I'll do that.

And so they got ready to leave. As Aloïs was about to close the door, though, a hand grabbed his wrist.

-You... Uh, I think we could talk more about all this. Can I offer you a drink, maybe?

Katō seemed unsure of himself, but relaxed when he saw Aloïs's smile.

-Sure!

And that's how they found themselves around a table, a half-emptied bottle sitting in between.

They got along surprisingly well, especially considering how contradictory their jobs were. They started off a bit awkward, Katō had asked in the heat of the moment after all, but they found something to talk about, and everything was well. When they got out, they were laughing as if they had known each other for decades.

Aloïs reached his car first.

-Well... He said. That was nice. Thanks for the drink.

-Yeah, it was. I'll be off, then.

-Wait!

Aloïs rummaged through his big coat's pockets to find a pen and a scrap of paper. He hurriedly wrote something on it before handing it to Katō.

-My number. So we can plan the next time, maybe?

The detective looked a bit surprised, but took the paper nonetheless, internally immensely pleased.

-Thank you.

Aloïs just smiled.

-You're welcome. Until next time, then!

-Hm, until next time.

[d4rk-x-w0lf-17]

"kambe daisuke" this and "kambe daisuke" that

where the fuck are all the haru katou simps and stans at. that man is literally one of the most attractive men i have ever seen and i will not have people be sleeping on his gorgeous face

[blue-sterling0357]

Brain-Rot of the week is.......

Daisuke and Haru with a crush on reader and her sister both are baristas from their(boys) favorite cafe, but but but.....

The cafe baristas actually is just as rich as Daisuke is, but they tries to act like they is middle class, so nobody sucks up to them to try and get to them just for their money.

Like and soon, he and Haru have to go on a mission which includes them being spies for this mission. As they walk in and meet the head spy and as they are talking the topics change from work to family, friends and plans, hey both find out the head has two daughter, pretty ones at that.

As they are talking, in bursts the door two pretty girls who just happen to be reader and her sister in the spy suits and their hair messy and reader's sister crying about how some newbies took their guns and filled them with powder instead of bullets for their shooting practices, all while Haru and Daisuke are just staring at the pretty barista billionaires arguing with their father.

They either fall in-love all over again or fall more in love with the two (if that's possible, that is) and they try to befriend them, but due to some circumstances they can never talk or when they muster up the courage to talk something happens.

Then they always volunteer to be the spy for any of the missions given to them knowing they can either get close with the sisters or get the sisters to patch them up after they intentionally got hurt on a mission.

[gatobrujoart]

This is for the FugouKeijiBalanceUnlimited anniversary.

I'm still a daiharu fan. And i really hope they made a season 2.

[isimpforjafarmagi]

Oh LOVE 🥺🥺🥺 DaiHaru all the way!!!!

[idaiisu]

first post after years I still have no idea how this works

[agusteura]

IM HOLLERINGGGGGG EVEN THE HEIGHT IS THE SAME NOW WHAT IM GONNA WITH RHIS FACT CRIESSSSS

[severushed-toslytherin]

So I started watching this anime where this detective takes in a homeless millionaire for the day 🙃

[supremekingofsalvation]

FKBU chapter 4 Spoilers

This witty fucker

Haru you get all the rights

You're way too nice i love you

OMG I LOVE HER GUYS SUZUE HAS BECOME THE BEST GIRL™

THIS Bastard istg LOOK AT HIM

HE's LAUGHING

HE DID A LITTLE CAT LICK

siR sIR PLEASE STOP BEING THIS CUTE

not to be a shipper or anything,,, but,,,, that's haru's clothes

DRUNK HARU IS BEST HARU DRUNK HARU IS BEST HARU DRUNK HARU IS BEST HARU

SIR

SIR DAISUKE SIR PLEASE STOP MY HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS MUCH CUTENESS

I can't-

I FUCKING CAN'T I LOVE HER

She WAS SO WORRIED IM

That's it

That's FUCKING it

I👏FUCKING👏LOVE👏SUZUE👏WITH👏ALL👏MY👏HEART

Way too good, way too pure, way too cute for this world

[syll-simpsss]

ARE DAIHARU MARRIED OR ARE DAIHARU MARRIED???

[thisismytrashok]

[nikonyash]

I've been really busy with works. Fortunately, I still be able to catch up with FKBU in my tight free time. The story is not that special actually, buuut now I really want to write something about these two. 💀

[myhomor]

i had to do this

[blue-sterling0357]

More black butler x Balance: unlimited incorrect quotes (FT. me:- Millie)

Millie: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity? Sebastian: *turning to Grell* How tall are you?

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Millie, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Ciel: You did WHAT– Sebastian: William Snakepeare

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Daisuke: Hey, you want some leftovers? Millie: What's that? Daisuke: You've never had leftovers??? Millie: No, because I'm not a quitter.

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Sebastian: *Gets down on one knee* Millie: Oh my god, it’s finally happening. Sebastian: *Falls over* Millie: The poison is kicking in.

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Daisuke: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Haru: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD Daisuke: I’m leaving you and I’M TAKING MILLIE WITH ME Suzue, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

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Haru: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat? Daisuke: >:O language Ciel: Yeah watch your fucking language Suzue: OKAY WHO TAUGHT CIEL THE FUCK WORD? Sebastian: 'The fuck word'. Millie: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time Ciel: Oh my god she censored it Sebastian: Say fuck, Millie. Ciel: Do it, Millie. Say fuck.

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Haru: That bastard isn’t answering his phone Millie: I’ll call Haru: Suzue and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi- Daisuke: Hello?

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Haru: How did none of you hear what I just said? Suzue: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Millie: I got distracted about halfway through. Daisuke: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

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Suzue: Is stabbing someone immoral? Millie: Not if they consent to it. Daisuke: Depends who you’re stabbing. Haru: YES?!?

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Sebastian: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds. Millie: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!? :D Sebastian: No! Four to five seconds! Millie: Too late!!! >:)

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Sebastian: Can you keep a secret? Millie: Do you know anything about my life? Sebastian: No I do not. Good point.

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Suzue: Where's Millie, Daisuke, and Sebastian? Ciel: They're playing hide and seek. Suzue: Where? Ciel: I don't think you get how this game works.

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Suzue: Favorite horror movie? Millie: It Daisuke: Saw Sebastian: Annabelle Ciel: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

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Suzue: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses. Millie: This knife is actually a magic wand. Daisuke: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel. Sebastian: *cocks gun* Magic missile. Ciel: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

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Suzue: Bye Millie! Bye Daisuke! Bye Sebastian! Bye Ciel! Bye Millie! Daisuke: You said ‘bye Millie’ twice. Suzue: I like Millie.

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Suzue: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Millie: Several traffic violations. Daisuke: Three counts of resisting arrest. Sebastian: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Ciel: Also, that’s not our car.

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Suzue: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Millie: 'Prettiest Smile' Daisuke: 'Nicest Personality' Ciel: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Sebastian: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

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Ciel: Nothing in life is free. Suzue: Love is free! Daisuke: Adventure is free. Sebastian: Knowledge is free. Millie: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

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Sebastian: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait. Millie: You and me!!! Sebastian, tearing up: Okay

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Sebastian: This is such a bad idea. Millie: Then why are you coming along? Sebastian: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

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Sebastian: You love me, right, Millie? Millie: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

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Sebastian: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. Millie: You're like 100+ years old Sebastian: I MIGHT DIE AT 3,000!

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Sebastian: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean? Millie: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans. Sebastian: but what’s the first worst thing? *Awkward pause* Millie: Sebastian, they...they weren’t always orphans. Sebastian: ...

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Sebastian: You're right. Millie: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

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Ciel: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase. Millie: Ciel, that's a coma. Ciel: Sounds festive.

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Ciel: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve. Millie: I think you mean cards. Ciel, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

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Daisuke: What time is it? Suzue: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out Suzue: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune* Millie: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING Suzue: It’s 2 am

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Sebastian: I know you snuck out last night, Ciel. Millie: Play dumb! Ciel: Who's Ciel? Millie: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

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Sebastian: While I’m gone, Ciel, you’re in charge. Ciel: Yes!!! Sebastian, whispering: Millie, you’re secretly in charge. Millie: Obviously.

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*Sebastian and Ciel sitting in jail together* Ciel: So who should we call? Sebastian: I’d call Millie, but I feel safer in jail

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Sebastian: What do you think Millie will do for a distraction? Ciel: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do. *Building explodes and several car alarms go off* Ciel: ... or they could do that.

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Sebastian: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death? Millie: How am I supposed to know? Ciel: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult. Millie: *sighs* Millie: You wouldn't be trapped.

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Sebastian: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container. Millie: The cow??? Sebastian: What? Ciel: Lady Millie, W H Y?

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Sebastian: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Millie's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get her out...

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Ciel: We need to get through this locked door. Daisuke, give me your credit card. Daisuke: Here. Ciel, pocketing it: Thanks. Millie, kick down the door.

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Daisuke: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth? Millie: You’re a hazard to society Suzue: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

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Daisuke: Why are you on the floor? Suzue: I'm depressed. Suzue: Also I was stabbed, can you get Millie, please.

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Daisuke: I trust Suzue. Millie: You think she knows what she's doing? Daisuke: I wouldn't go that far.

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The emotionless club quotes

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Daisuke, banging on the door: Claude! Open up! Claude: Well, it all started when I was a kid... Millie: No, he meant- Sebastian: Let him finish.

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Daisuke, about Claude: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group. Millie: Are we stealing them? Sebastian: New or used? Daisuke: Wonderful responses, both of you.

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Daisuke: I think we're missing something. Claude: Teamwork? Millie: Cohesion? Sebastian: A general sense of what we’re doing?

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Daisuke: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys. Claude: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap! Millie: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! Sebastian: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. Daisuke: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

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Daisuke: Care for another sundae, weenie? Claude: I am not a weenie! Millie: Relax, you’re among friends. *raises their drink* Claude: My friends don’t hang out at Weenie Hut Jr’s. Sebastian: You tell ‘em, Claude! *sips their drink* Claude: Sebastian, what’re you doing here? Sebastian: I’m always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays.

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Daisuke: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three- Daisuke and Millie, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks! Sebastian: Our turn, Claude! One, two, three- vanilla! Claude, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake?

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Daisuke, setting down a card: Ace of spades Claude, pulling out an Uno card: +4 Millie, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Sebastian, trembling: What are we playing

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Daisuke: *Gently taps table* Claude: *Taps back* Millie: What are they doing? Sebastian: Morse code. Daisuke: *Aggressively taps table* Claude: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

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Daisuke: Can I be frank with you guys? Claude: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help. Millie: Can I still be Millie? Sebastian: Shh, let Frank speak.

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Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Daisuke: Shit. Claude: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Millie: OH MY GOD SEBASTIAN FELL OFF!!!

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Daisuke: Why is Claude so sad? Millie: He took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes Daisuke: And...? Daisuke: He got Sebastian.

[gatobrujoart]

Happy birthday to the most precious detective. And Daisuke probably is gonna spoil him a lot on this day, whether Haru wants it or not. 🤭🥰😌