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inkandpen22 · 3 years

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The Princess and The Pogue (pt. 3)

Pairing: JJ x Female!Reader / Topper x Female!Reader

Warnings: underage drinking, mild swearing, mentions of drugs

Words count: 2k (it’s short but the next part is long)

Part Summary: As the night dwindles away, JJ feels pressured to secure a place in your life. His chances grow times ten when Sarah arrives with some interesting news.

Masterlist

You and JJ share a log around the fire. His arm rests over your thigh, his hand gripping your knee slightly. Your chin rests on his shoulder as you two exchange whisper back and forth, making the Pogues sick with how lovey-dovey you two already are becoming.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” JJ asks, kinda hoping he could ask you for real date but he’ll understand if you already have plans.

“Hanging out with you,” you cheekily answer, earning a blushing grin from him.

“Oh! cool, cool...” He presses his lips together with a faint laugh, finding it hard to hide his childish grin.

You giggle at his bashfulness. He’s so shy around you and you can’t help but find it adorable.

"Here comes Sarah!" Kiara announces as he spots their friend's car rolling up the drive.

You and JJ finally break your hype-focused attention away from each other. Almost to make up for the lack of verbal communication, JJ shifts closer to you and plants a quick peck to your temple.

"Hey! Sorry for the delay!" Sarah announces as she walks over from her car. John B rises from his position, trying to intercept Sarah before she sees you and JJ. Once she reaches John B, she notices how you and JJ are sitting. Her brows scrunch together, but she does her best to mask her confusion. "My parents were having a hissy fit about me borrowing the car. I told them and Y/N's parents that we were staying the night at Kiara's since she doesn't feel well. I hope that's okay, Kie," she asks as she gets closer to the bonfire.

"Yeah, no problem!" Kiara waves her hand, not caring at all.

"Wait, so what's the game plan?" You ask Sarah, but also everyone else for their input. You're thankful for the group's help, but weren't exactly prepared for an overnight stay. You understand why Sarah did this nonetheless.

"You all can stay here tonight," John B shrugs as the Pogues do it all the time.

"Your parents believed it," Sarah assures you. "I would just text your parents to help it seem more legit."

"Okay! I'll text my mom," you comply with enthusiasm.

Hey, I told Sarah to tell you but in case she didn't, we're staying over at Kiara's tonight. I had to drive her home in her dad's car because we think she got food poisoning or something. I'll text you when I'm heading out in the morning. Sarah can drive me home or something :)

"Finally! It'll be nice not being the only girl! I was kinda hoping you and Sarah would stay over anyway," Kiara adds, offering you a kind smile.

"That makes two of us," JJ whispers for only you to hear.

"My folks were pretty pissed about me ditching on the party, so I feel no urge on going home," Sarah huffs, right as John B asks for her to help him inside real quick.

You and JJ watch as John B escorts Sarah inside by the arm. They try to be nonchalant, but it's so obvious they're freaking out. Sarah's whispers aren't exactly quiet and John B's doing his best to fill her in on what he knows.

JJ turns his face toward yours with a smirk, suppressing his laughter. "They're definitely talking about us."

"Oh for sure!" You nod slowly with a snicker.

You two share in your amusement as your friends slowly lose their minds. A Pogue from The Cut was caught kissing the Princess of the OBX. If your friends from the other side of the island found out they would have an even more dramatic reaction.

Your phone buzzes in your lap and it's from your mom.

Ok. Text me when you wake up.

"All set!" You voice to everyone remaining around the fire. "I doubt they'll even care since "I'm still on the Figure 8,” you make air quotes.

"Yay!" Kiara claps her hands.

"I say we watch a scary movie tonight!" JJ suggests beside you.

"The Conjuring!" You vote swiftly, earning a laugh from JJ.

"No!" Pope instantly refuses. "Nope! Last time we watched that you guys made me sleep on the porch and I heard creeks all night!"

"Aw, I'll stay with you tonight Pope," Kiara offers, reaching for her friend's hand with a pout. "I'll keep you safe from all the ghosties."

JJ leans in brushes his lips against your ear. "You gonna keep me safe?"

You smile softly, turning your head toward him as you nod slowly. "I'll have your back if you have mine."

His beautiful eyes meet yours in the gold flickering light of the fire. "Always, Baby." He plants a kiss to your lips, this time slow and comforting, as though you two have been doing it forever.

___________________________________________________________

All six of you are gathered in the living room, watching The Conjuring. John B and JJ insisted that all lights in the house must be off, much to Pope's dismay. Kiara and Pope are positioned on the carpet, their backs against the couch. Pope has been hiding in a ball with his face behind the blanket he shares with Kiara. Sarah and John B are sprawled comfortably on the couch, well invested in the movie. You and JJ share the old red recliner, tucked close in a ball under a comforter. Right before the movie starts to get interesting, you shift forward in your position. JJ whines, disappointed in the loss of contact. His pouty face makes you giggle and he playfully tries to keep you close by holding onto your wrist.

"I need another drink, anyone else?" You offer quietly, making sure not to step on Kiara or Pope on the floor on the way to the kitchen. You receive various forms of declines as you do your best to navigate your way through the dark and unfamiliar house.

Finally finding yourself in the kitchen, you make yourself a glass of water. The moonlight shining through the window over the sink acts as your saving grace. Suddenly, you feel a pair of arms slip around your waist, causing you to jump.

"Hey, Gorgeous," the blonde whispers against your neck.

"JJ!" You gasp your heart racing.

"Did I scare you?" He chuckles quietly to not alert the others.

You spin in his hold and nudge him on the shoulder playfully. "You did that on purpose!"

"Not really but-" In one swift motion, JJ picks up and places you on the counter. He parts your legs to stand between them. His palms glide up and down your thighs. "That I did mean to do," he smirks, biting down on his lip.

"JJ! Y/N! You're going to miss the wardrobe part!" Pope shouts, his voice shaky with fear.

"I wish I had spoken to you sooner," JJ confesses abruptly, completely his friend in the next room. All he cares about right now is you.

"Dido," you smirk, placing your arms over JJ's shoulders.

"Really?" He voices in disbelief. Despite how much you've reassured him or have reciprocated his affections, he still isn't convinced that you truly like him.

"That first time I saw you at the Cameron's?" You recall with raised brows. "Um, yeah! You looked hot in that pale green Ron Jon shirt."

"I can't believe you remember that," he shakes his head, leaning in closer to you. I thought there was no way you'd know who I am."

"JJ," you say his name in a mild groan with a toss of your head. How can this boy not see how amazing he is? "You're definitely worth remembering."

"It was at the Boneyard," he states a matter-of-factly.

"What was?" You grin.

"The first time I ever saw you," he tilts his head back slightly, relieving his sharp jawline. "You were dancing with Topper on the wall. The fire made your skin glow and shimmer like bronze. You wore a navy blue bikini with ripped white booty shorts. Your hair was half up and all I could think about was how much I wanted to run my fingers through it. You were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen," he tells you, never once breaking eye contact.

"That was last summer!" You can't believe he remembers that.

"I know," he replies as though it's completely ordinary.

Your jaw drops, "you're saying you've been waiting to talk to me for a year?!"

"Okay well, when you put it that way," he tries to play it off and be cool now.

"Aw JJ!" You express a little too excitedly, bringing your hands to his cheeks.

JJ is quick to press his hand over your mouth. "Shh, Baby. Before you alert everyone in the living room!" Mischievously, you plant a kiss on his palm, catching him off guard. JJ swallows hard, peering down at you with hooded eyes. "Okay, now you're just teasing me."

You place your hand over his and remove it from your mouth. "You make it too easy," you giggle in a whisper.

JJ simply stares down at your lips as he bites down on his own. Before you have a chance to react, he hungrily presses his lips to yours. Ever kiss up until now has been gentle, new, and hesitant. Now, JJ is forgetting his nerves and is acting on impulse. He breaks away from you and moves his assault to your neck. You comb your fingers through his thick blonde hair, gripping the strands on the back of his neck.

"JJ," you pant breathlessly as your eyes fall shut. "What are you doing?"

"Making up for lost time," he breathes against your neck. I'm really kicking myself right now."

"It's my fault too," you try to speak as JJ makes a track down your neck to your collarbone. "I could've at least said 'hi' instead of smiling like an idiot."

"At least you were nice," JJ mumbles against your chest. "I was a statue. Plus, I always thought you and Rafe may be-"

"Ew! Don't even finish that sentence," you scoff in disgusts.

"You were always at the Cameron's. He's always on top of you and watches you like a hawk," JJ explains as he pops up for air.

"He's had a thing for me for a while now. I've turned him down," you inform him.

JJ frowns in confusion. "Why?"

You figured it would've been obvious, especially considering how much JJ hates Rafe. "He's an arrogant ass. He thinks he's invincible and I hate people like that."

"Well, you can tell him you're taken now," JJ grins, leaning in to kiss you.

"Oh, I am?" You question playfully against his lips.

"Yep," the boy nods as he begins to glide his lips across your jawline. "You're mine... and only mine..." He whispers, making you bite your lip with anticipation. Boy, this kid knows how to get you turned on. "I'll make sure everyone in the OBX knows it too," he declares as he starts to suck on the sensitive skin on your neck. At the rate JJ is going, he's certain to leave a mark or two, just as he wanted.

"You guys!" Kiara calls this time.

JJ huffs with annoyance as he appears out from your neck. "Coming!" He shouts, completely unfazed by what he was just doing. "Got you're so sexy," he plants a quick peck to your lips. "I hope you know I'm going to be dying through this entire movie."

Ever the gentleman, he grips your waist and helps you down from the counter. He slips his hand into yours and grabs your water with the other before leading the way back into the living room.

"She couldn't find the sodas in the fridge. I had to grab a new box from the back," he conjures up as you two cross the living room toward the recliner.

"Sureee," John B and Sarah say in unison with amusement.

"Sorry guys, what did we miss?" You ask while you and JJ get settled.

After you take a quick sip from your water, you place it on the side table between the recliner and the couch before getting comfortable again with JJ.

"Nice water, Y/N." Sarah giggles as she peaks over from the couch at your hand, earning an eye roll from JJ.

"The crazy demon lady jumped on the daughter. I hate this!" Pope rushes out to answer your question.

"Oh my God! You're fine, Pope!" Kiara groans, not hiding her annoyance.

"I wish it wasn't so dark in here!" Pope shouts dramatically.

"I kinda like it," JJ purrs in your ear.

You turn your head to the side and he plants a kiss on your lips. As the others watch the movie, you and JJ spend most of the time whispering back and forth or too caught up in each other physically to talk at all. Of course, you two are respectful of your friends and keep it PG. Yet, you can't get enough of each other. It's all so soon, energetic, and freeing. As the thought of tomorrow morning lingers in the back of your mind, you’re starting to dread the idea of parting from JJ.

__________________________________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @starkeythinker @bethii1 @thegunnerkelly @cc13723things

#jj maybank fic #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank imagines #jj maybank fluff #jj #john b routledge #sarah cameron #rafe obx #pope #kiara #topper obx #obx jj #obx #obx fanfiction #outterbanks #outer banks #topper outer banks

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sketchdrawsstuff · 4 years

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Moments and Minecraft (ZaDr drabble)

“No you have to jump- oh my god jump, Zim! Not in the ravine- and now you’re dead, good fucking job.”

“Stupid, useless piece of earth dirt technology-”

“Aren’t you supposed to be advanced?”

“BE‌ SILENT Dib-pig! How DARE you insult ZIM with you- your blocky nonsense-craft game!”

If it weren’t for how hard the little alien was clutching Gaz’s controller in his hand, Dib would have found his little hissy fit amusing. Instead the teen stared and ultimately ignored the mixed curses in Irken that poured endlessly from Zim’s mouth. Slowly, he drew his gaze back to the TV where the words ‘YOU‌ DIED’ were printed, and underneath them sat ‘Zim fell from a high place’.

It had taken a whole hour just to teach Zim how to play, and even then by the time they switched the game to survival mode the invader had managed to die more times than Dib could keep count of. Of course, the teen taunted and mocked Zim endlessly for it.

Now, Zim was currently strangling one of the couch pillows in his frustration, claws starching at the cloth and, for a moment, Dib worried about the scolding he would get if the other actually tore it. Still, it was better to face a light reprimand from his father than deal with the inescapable doom that would await him if Zim ended up breaking, scratching, or so much as leaving a single mark on any of Gaz’s controllers. Dib had no doubt that his sister would drag both their asses into a grave if they were even lightly damaged.

“Don’t get upset when you were the one who decided to jump into the ravine.” Dib chided, irritable after having endured the Irken’s non-stop whining.

“Zim did not decide to do anything.” The invader hissed, stopping his pillow-beating just as quickly as he’d begun. “It was your stupid game!”

“Zim, it isn’t fucking sentient. Maybe if you listened to me for once you wouldn’t die over and over.” Dib rubbed his temples in exasperation.

“LIES.”

For once, the human boy didn’t bother with a response. They had been doing this long enough for him to abandon all hope of trying to even imply that the ‘almighty Zim’ had done anything wrong. Sometimes, Dib wondered if this is what babysitting was like.

Still, he never denied Zim when the Irken followed him home after skool. He never protested as they walked together, chatting over their endeavors in class, at lunch, and over whatever stupid assignments they had been given that week. Dib didn’t protest when they approached his home and Zim just walked inside after him, bags discarded at the door and immediately snagging their spots on the couch to watch old Mysterious Mysteries reruns or play video games.

This time, they had gone for the latter. Now Dib was seriously regretting his ‘brilliant’ idea to try to teach him how to play Minecraft. The game was old, having been buried in the back of the TV shelf under numerous other games and simply collecting dust. He hadn’t played it in years, and the version was outdated, but Dib had figured that there was no harm in trying something new.

He should have known that it would come back to bite him in the ass.

They really should have just stuck to doing homework instead, but Dib had wanted to relax. He had wanted to enjoy the time they had to lounge on the couch and play games to their hearts content while Gaz was over at one of her friend’s house. Again, Dib should have known better.

At least they had been getting along, and by getting along he meant they hadn’t resorted to throwing punches quite yet.

All things considered, Dib was almost impressed with how calm things had been. Sure they had gotten on each other’s nerves enough to leave them both frustrated, but that wasn’t so out of the ordinary. What was out of the ordinary, however, was the way that Zim sat back and crossed his arms over his chest.

The teen blinked, surprised that the alien had stopped yelling so quickly. That was definitely a new record.

“Whatever,” The other hissed through clenched teeth, but otherwise remained civil. “Zim does not need your silly game of craft. It is barbaric, anyway.”

“Wha- how is Minecraft barbaric? And don’t you think that’s a bit hypocritical coming from the world conquering alien??”

Zim was up and standing on the couch cushions in an instant. He was glaring holes into Dib’s head, magenta eyes hidden behind fake lenses, though the teen could still feel their intensity. “Your craft game is stupid, just like everything on this miserable dirt planet!” He declared, like he hadn’t been so determined to play said game just ten minutes ago. The Irken had practically forced Dib to teach him to play once the human brought it up. Dib rolled his eyes, and Zim continued.

“Zim has no need for your games. I am just gathering information on your primitive earth technology-”

“You asked me to teach you to play-”

“-soon Zim will hand you to your BLOCKY ‌DOOM!”

Unimpressed, Dib grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at Zim’s face. The Irken let out a shriek and fell back onto the couch rather dramatically, screaming the entire time. “HOW‌ DARE‌ YOU‌ DAMAGE ZIM!”

A slow grin was already inching its way across Dib’s lips. He reached over and grabbed the pillow off the floor. “It was a fucking pillow, you baby.” He mocked, and the second that Zim sat up Dib smacked him in the face again.

Zim let out another scream, and Dib was laughing up until he was yanked down by small hands that had grabbed onto his shirt collar. He barely managed a squeak before he was thrown to the floor and a weight settled on his chest. Zim’s grip was tight, both hands fisting the collar of his shirt and yanking it close so that the teen was forced to crane his neck up uncomfortably, face level with the alien’s.

Zim’s wig was crooked on his head, face contorted in anger and his thin lips curled back into a snarl. “STUPID, stinking human pig! How DARE you!?” He slammed Dib’s head back, and suddenly the teen was glad that they were on the carpet. Still, it hurt, and his head pounded from the force of his skull hitting the floor.

“You wouldn’t shut up!” Dib countered, and his argument was weak, but he couldn’t have cared less. “You’re the one getting upset over a stupid game!”

“It is stupid.” Zim was still glaring, but at least he’d stopped man-handling Dib. “This is a waste of Zim’s valuable time.” He sniffed, and in an instant the weight that had sat on Dib’s chest was gone. Zim stood and took a moment to readjust his wig while the human peeled himself off the floor.

Dib frowned. “Oh come on. Just…..fuck, Zim, sit down.” He slowly stood and brushed some imaginary dirt off his jeans.

Zim didn’t sit, but he didn’t leave either.

The teen stared at the Irken, watched how Zim stood with his arms crossed, foot tapping against the carpet and a steely glare pinned to the far wall. Dib ground his teeth, and dammit if he didn’t feel like he was babysitting a fucking two year old.

Dib sighed.

“……Wanna watch something? I think I have some Mysterious Mysteries episodes still recorded.” Dib tried, and for a moment he worried that Zim might actually leave. Eventually, and after a few moments of tense silence, Zim moved from his spot. The Irken walked right back over to the couch and sat down in his previous spot, arms still crossed but a bit of the tension draining from his shoulders.

“….there had better be the Bigfeets episode.”

Dib let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding and resumed his spot on the couch. He took the remote and smiled to himself as he shut off the game and switched to the main television. “There is the Bigfeets episode.” He repeated in confirmation.

Soon enough the promised episode was on, and Dib found himself sitting back. He was pleasantly surprised when Zim did the same, both their gazes pinned on the screen and an almost calm silence falling over them, save for the sound of the TV.

So maybe they had ended up sort of fighting, but Dib thought that it was better than the alternative. If ever asked both of them would deny that they were anything even close to friends, but even Dib had to admit that, other than Zim, he didn’t really have anyone else. No one else would walk home from skool with him and talk about homework and his theories, his paranormal studies, anything he actually cared about. Maybe that didn’t mean that Zim necessarily cared, but the Irken always listened to him.

To Dib, that was worth a bit of irritation and some extra bruises because, whether he would admit it or not, he wouldn’t give up moments like these for the world. The teen smiled, small, but there, and his eyes darted over to catch a glimpse of Zim’s expression. Dib was surprised to find that the alien was staring at him directly. He looked confused, a mixture of curious and….not quite understanding of why Dib would be smiling. It wasn’t like his usual smiles, the wide, idiotic grins the human sported whenever they watched his favorite show. This was much…..nicer. Zim had only a moment to scowl at his own thoughts, face heating up and immediately looking away.

Dib blinked, confused, but he said nothing.

“Your smile is ugly. It almost compliments your absolutely massive head.”

Dib stared for a moment, and then he frowned. Okay, so maybe Zim would always be an asshole. Somehow, the teen had grown used to it through the years they had spent bickering. Really, it was just Zim, and despite the fact that Dib thought the Irken was the most irritating being on the planet (and he wasn’t even human), he couldn’t imagine being without him.

“Shut the fuck up, Space-boy.”

Zim didn’t respond, and silence washed over them again. Dib didn’t bother to mention how their shoulders touched through the rest of the episode, or how he thought that Zim looked rather cute when he blushed.

~Fin

#unedited #zadr #invader zim #zadf #drabble #i did this at 3am

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fuckupsoverhere · 3 years

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Promises {Chapter Two}

“If you make a promise, you have to keep it. You can’t go back on one, because if you do, you have to flush your little finger down the toilet.”

There is nothing more sacred to Jasmine Dixon than a promise. When the world was destroyed and nothing was left, her promises became even more important to her and nothing would be able to stop her. All Jasmine wants to do is to be safe and, maybe try to, be happy.

The Walking Dead Fan Fiction

Word Count: 1646

Warnings: violence, murder

AN: I missed this story. It has always held a special place in my heart and even though it didn’t seem like many people were interested in this, I write for me, not for anyone else. If you’re one of the few people who does actually enjoy this then you are my new favourite person.

I waited. Waiting for daddy to come back. He was always hunting. I decided to walk around the camp to try and find something to do. As I reached the edge of the camp, I heard a faint sound, but it was getting louder. I decided to go over to Dale and tell him as I had no idea what it was.

“Dale! Do you hear that?” I shouted up to him on top of his caravan.

“What is it?” Shane asks, “Can you see anything?”

“It’s a car alarm,” Dale replies with his binoculars against his face.

Suddenly, a bright red car drives up with its alarm blaring out and Glenn jumps out. Jim and Dale instantly get to work on taking it apart. The words go right past me and I pull Glenn into a tight hug.

“Where is everyone else?” I ask.

“Wasn’t you listening?” He asks and I shake my head, “They’re in a van behind me.”

I let out a sigh of relief that I hadn’t realised that I was holding in, “I’m glad that you’re safe.”

“Only because of officer friendly- a cop from down the way- that first nearly got us killed, but then he saved us.”

Just as he said that the van pulled up. I watched, waiting for Merle. I didn’t like him, but he was still my uncle. I watched Carl reunite with his dad which made me smile. I then realised that Merle wasn’t there, so I looked around as I started to get worried.

“Where’s Merle?” I asked. Everyone who had gone on the run tried their hardest to avoid eye contact with me, so I started shouting, “Where is my uncle! Answer me now!”

“Jasmine, please calm down,” Glenn said to try and calm me down.

The cop walked over from Carl and Lori, before bending down in front of me. He put his hand on my shoulder, but I took a step backwards, so I was out of his reach. “He was putting the group in danger, so I handcuffed him to the roof of a building.”

“You what?”

I started crying. I hated Carl’s dad, so I started punching him. Who did he think he was? As I’ve got weak punches, I knew it wouldn’t hurt, but Glenn pulled me into his arms to restrain me in a hug, “How could you leave him?”

Glenn kept me by his side all night. He only let me go to the toilet by myself, any other time he was standing right next to me, making sure that I didn’t have a hissy fit and attack anyone with my tiny punches.

We were all sitting around the campfire. I sat next to Glenn with my head on his lap, Glenn was like a big brother to me. I loved him in a family way. He was always there for me, if I needed anything then I would ask him, and he’d give it to me. Glenn and I had private jokes, a close sibling kind of relationship, even my dad trusts Glenn to care for me when he is not around. As I was the youngest, I wasn’t allowed to stay by myself so if my dad was not here then Glenn would look after me, but if both of them are busy then I stay with Lori and Carl.

The adults were talking about how they were going to tell my dad about Merle. No one asked me for advice because the knew it would be a touchy subject. They did not know how my dad would react to this news. They thought that he might try and leave the group, but I wouldn’t let him do that.

I didn’t realise how sleepy I was until I fell asleep in Glenn’s lap. I woke up when he picked me up to put me to bed in my camp bed in his tent.

The next morning, I walked up to Carl and Sophia as I knew that I needed to fix what friendship I had with them.

“Hey guys,” I said looking at my feet.

“Hey, Jas!” Carl replied happily.

“You won’t want to be here- we’re playing,” Sophia told me.

I didn’t expect anything less, I was rude to them the other day, “I know, and I was wondering if I could play too?”

They looked at each other and nodded as I smiled at them. “Yeah,” Sophia said as she walked up to me, “IT!”

Sophia tapped my arm before her, and Carl ran off. I chased after them and we played for a while which was a lot of fun. We continued until we came across a dead deer, it took a second to notice that a geek was eating the deer. We all started screaming and running back to camp as all of the adults came running past us. The men killed it before I saw daddy coming back. I ran to him and he picked me up.

“Hey, Jazzy!” He laughed.

I frowned as he knew that I hated being called ‘Jazzy’, but I went with it because he is the best dad ever. “Daddy! I missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too. Now, where’s your uncle Merle?” He asked as we walked back to camp.

He started calling out for Merle and no one replied. Everyone started to look for something to do until Rick (officer friendly) came up to him, “Daryl, just slow down for a second. I need to talk to you.”

Daddy then turned me around, put me down and pushed me to the side (like always). “About what?”

“About Merle? There was a… there was a problem in Atlanta.” Shane told him.

“He dead?” Daddy asked.

“We’re not sure,” replied Rick.

I couldn’t bear it, so I walked over to Glenn and hugged him. I covered my ears as I couldn’t listen to this again. I didn’t think that dad would get physical, but he did. When he started swinging at Rick, I burst into tears as I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

“DADDY! STOP!” I screamed at the top of my lungs as tears flowed down my face. He looked at me and calmed down. When dad started to walk away, Glenn let me go so I could run after him, “Please don’t go again.”

“I have to get your uncle back!” Daddy told me.

“But I don’t want to lose you too.”

“You won’t.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” Dad told me, “Lori, will you look after Jas?”

“Of course, she’s a pleasure,” Lori told daddy.

I watched my dad leave again with Rick, T- Dog, and Glenn. It hurt because I felt like daddy was choosing Merle over me.

“Jasmine, why don’t you go and help the others do the washing?” Lori asked as I stood watching where the car had gone. I just nodded in response to her.

We all went down to the lake where the adults washed their clothes. I think that they might have forgotten that I was there because they started talking about dirty things. I stopped listening to the conversation, but every so often I could hear the odd word or two. I wasn’t paying attention to anything and I was just humming to myself to distract myself when Ed threw clothes at Andrea. This caused a big argument between them until Shane suddenly walked over and started fighting Ed. I started screaming as I was terrified of what was happening.

“STOP SHANE!” I yelled and he looked up at me before stopping.

“I’m sorry, Jas.” He muttered as he walked past me.

I ran back up to camp, leaving everything and everyone behind as I just had to get out of there. I ran up to Lori and hugged her, she held me tight and didn’t ask any questions. She just held me close and stroked my hair. It reminded me of how I imagined what my mom would do if I was ever upset, she would stroke my hair and sing in my ear. I wish that she was real. She did it for a while before I got up, slowly.

I just laid on the floor in the middle of the forest and no one seemed to do anything about it. I guess people were used to it, I did this whenever I need a moment to myself. I could smell cooked fish and it wasn’t long until Amy came over to me to tell me that dinner was ready. I got up and walked over to the campfire where Andrea gave me a plate with some fish. I ate it slowly, savouring every last moment. It was so nice that I wasn’t even paying attention to Dale’s mumbo jumbo.

Suddenly, all we could hear was screaming. Lori grabbed onto Carl and me. She pulled us along and tried to keep a hold of us within the chaos. I got separated from them and a shot went off right next to my ear. I started tilting, leaning from side to side. My ear was ringing, I could hardly hear anything. Following the adults as best as I could, we got to the RV and I leaned against it, slowly sliding down behind a rock. I saw daddy and tried to get up, but I just fell back down. He didn’t notice for a while as he was too busy killing walkers.

Once they were all dead, he started to look around, “JAS! JASMINE!”

Carefully and slowly, I got up and called out to him. He ran over and hugged me, before picking me up. He held me as close as he could without hurting me. I hadn’t realised that I was crying until daddy looked at me and wiped my eyes.

“I promised that I would be back and I am.”

#twd #twd daryl #The Walking Dead #the walking dead daryl #the walking dead season 1 #the walking dead carl #the walking dead rick #walkers #writing #carl grimes #carl fanfiction #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixon #dixon #shane #the walking dead shane

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monochromemedic · 4 years

Text

Stuck with Ben-man

So being stuck in a sandstorm with Benny sucked. Benny cropped up to try to ‘face me’ aka antagonize me and my friend when a sandstorm popped up, a real bad one. One that made the winds whip and our vision fade until we were yelling at each other and trying to hold hands. I managed to hold on to someone as we tried to hunk down, only for the sand to overcome us and nearly bury us. I woke up slumped against a rock with sand covering me from the waist down. I looked to the friend I had held on to, only to see the familiar checkered suit and dusty smug face slowly coming too. No chairmen, no lackies, no followers, no friends. Just me, and Benny. The sound of Benny taking his shoe off and dumping sand back on to the desert and beginning to walk again was constant, as was the grumbles and sighs. “You know I use to be.... good at this stuff. Use to own this place like I was a king. Course when House came around, I had the chance to be better instead of fighting over roach meat, I took it. Now i’m back and I hate it. All grody and dusty. I feel like i’m back in that time. I hate it.” “Well sorry someone got a taste of champagne and now can’t stand to be in the real world for 5 seconds. Oh boo hoo, survival for the big boss man.” I sarcastically cried, my hands making a fake crying motion. Benny gritted his teeth, stomping up closer to me, placing a hand on my shoulder which made me recoil away instinctively. “Oh and you wig out everytime i’m round you. What a little lead in the noggin hurt you that bad? Listen I’m 18 karat, i’m a real swell guy. I won’t turn on you less you turn on me so let’s just keep it smooth until we find our people again, and we’ll be golden.” I paused, trying to deduce what the hell we was saying to me before continuing to walk. “Yeah course that’s what you always say and then I end up getting crossed. For all I know you got that dumb gun of your pressed against my back-” “Her names Maria and she’s twice the gal you’ll ever be, babe!” He barked, kicking a little sand as we walked “Oh did I cut a little deep there lover boy? Insult your girlfriend? You like to put your peepee in the gun hole to make you feel good?” “Get bent you nasty broad, I only stick my dick in class acts unlike yourself. You’re lucky im still hanging around, I could hightail it out of here and leave you all alone but since i’m such a swell guy i’m HELPING you out.” “Yeah i’ve survived out here for years, I don’t think some douche in a checker print suit with a pea shooter will make much of a difference.” I could practically feel the hissy fit he was having behind me the way he was stomping around in the sand. “GOD I JUST WANNA STRANGLE YOU! I TRY TO BE NICE, I TRY TO BE A REAL GENT, A REAL STAND UP GUY AND YOU STILL GIVE ME THE SHAFT.” I turned around, raising my arms sarcastically. “OH GEE I WONDER WHY, MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE OF ALL THE SHAFTS YOU GIVE ME TIME AFTER TIME. LITTLE GEEK er-er... FINK CAN’T HANDLE A LITTLE PLAYFUL BANTER CAN HE? WHAT A FRAGILE LITTLE EGO-” I was cut off by him tackling me to the ground, arms trying to wrap around my neck as he screeched angrily. I thrashed back, fingers scratching his face which only made him angrier. “YOU LEAVE THE MUG ALONE, OFF LIMITS, YOU GANK ME YOU KEEP IT BELOW THE DO-” “FUNNY WORDS FOR A MAN WHO SHOT ME IN THE MUG-” Benny’s hand flew in the air as he quickly got up, walking away and screaming into his own hands while I still thrashed in the dust angrily, yelling as well before we both started to chill out, getting the lust for each others blood on our hands. I stared at Benny, who tried to smooth his hair back, only failing for the lack of gel that was in his hair. “Alright i’m chill, i’m chill. My nest look like death but i’m chill. Let’s just... let’s just get going.” I glared back at him, slowly getting up and giving a final scream before nodding. “Yeah ok i’m... i’m good.” As we turned around and went to take the first step, we saw that our little spat attracted the attention of a couple of geckos, staring with wide eyes. Benny muttered a little swear under his breath as he reached for Maria and pointing it at the biggest gecko. “Dibs.” A familiar sound echoed in the air as the gecko’s head turned into a red paste as he turned to the next one that began to charge at us. I quickly grabbed my own pistol and began to put rounds into any gecko that began to come close to the both of us. As we began to finish off the rest of them a larger, fire gecko came charging from the side, knocking Benny down and beginning to swipe at his chest, his blood splattering against the dusty ground. I aimed at the gecko, pausing for a moment to consider the fact that ‘Benny Gecko’ dying by a gecko would be funny at take out the entire situation of the bastard lingering around before sighing and beginning to lace the creature with bullets. It fell over with a slump, a little burst of flame exiting it’s mouth, showing how close Benny was to getting singed. I glared at Benny who wheezed and slowly began to get up, hand on his slashed chest. “I’d say i’d owe you but, Ben-man don’t owe nothing to no one-” “I heard you that if you get the fire sack out of a fire gecko you can squeeze it and make flames come out. Now if you keep talking I might just do that to you and finish the job that gecko was gonna do before I saved your ass.” Benny was quiet, hair hanging in his face as he eyed me up, and began to walk again. “Do you at least got a stimpak on you?” “I mean... I do. But you gotta say the magic word.” His stare intensified, before he rolled his eyes and began to give me puppy dog eyes. “May I... please have a stimpak?” I dug in my bag, throwing out a stimpak to him as we continued to walk wishing we were with anyone but each other.

#fallout new vegas #benny gecko #fallout nv benny #Self Insert

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fandom-collective-writers · 5 years

Text

Period Headcannons

Requested By: @bouncer-rabbit Written by: @hellasweetyanderes, @alloveroliver and @lil-creatorwritings Suitors: Luka, Jonah, Ray, Fenrir, Kyle and Sirius

We know that Sirius wasn’t part of the original ask, but we decided to add him to the list! Hope you guys like it as much as we had fun writing it~

Luka Clemence (by @hellasweetyanderes)

The most lowkey about it he has lots of secret stashes of products in case anyone needs them and just subtly leaves them within reach without anyone realizing who their helpful friend is. Which leaves a lot of wishful people in the black army sad they can't thank this mysterious stranger for helping them out

Said wishful people including you decide to find out the truth for themselves which leaves to a little goose chase across the black army hq trying to figure out who it is

Once all of you discover the truth no one ever really talks about it again but it becomes a normal thing for Luka to find cute lil notes or gifts around hq eventually, you end up being caught by him when he puts two and two together and he is overwhelmed again by everyone's gifts of thanks to him that he feels like he doesn't deserve because to him it was just being nice and not doing anything overly special….

For your pain Luka will always give you some meds and warm up a heating pad and have you lie down. If you are the type that tries to work despite their pain he will really really be close to tying you up if you refuse to rest.

Luka deals with you moodiness the best despite his own ever changing nature and he smooths things over if you are likely to snap at someone and hopefully someone helps the poor fool that is cruel to you and gets you to cry because he will be fighting them

Jonah Clemence (by @hellasweetyanderes)

When you are moody at first he handles it very poorly which causes a slight rift between the two of you. You are more than surprised when the hints you are dropping are going over his head and you learn he doesn't have a single clue.

As it turns out he is completely oblivious because his family was always very sheltering towards their heir and thought it was below his status to deal with such things.

He reads up on what he can from the subtle things you say but he still doesn't understand it all tho so he goes to you and asks a whole bunch of questions which then causes him to square up once he finally understands.

Since then he keeps track of your cycle and he is always overly sweet to you and tries his best to help you but he sometimes messes up so please tell him when he does or he will feel like a failure of a boyfriend.

For your pain Jonah does whatever he needs asap to get you to feel better be it finding some medicine for cramps or making something but he draws the line if you crave something he knows will only give you worse cramps gets you the closest thing to it because of how awful he remembers your pain the first time he made the mistake.

He's gonna throw a hissy fit if you try to work as you feel like your stomach is being stabbed. He will literally cry and then make you cry and both of you are forced to cuddle and play with Pine for the rest of the day.

Ray Blackwell (by @lil-creatorwritings)

He'll notice the subtle hints of your PMS--your rapid mood swings, always complaining about how bloated you feel, being warmer when you cuddle together, seeking for sour or sweet things, but he doesn't know it's your PMS. He's a bit surprised when you mentioned it the first time--being surrounded by men in the headquarters makes him forget about these things--and says to call him if you ever needed anything, even if he's busy with work.

Ray will always hug or cuddle with you when you need the intimacy with Belle taking his place when he's busy with work or meetings. He'll rub your back or stroke your hair in an attempt to help you relax. Belle will snuggle up to you and his little purrs often makes you smile.

When you’re in public, he’ll let you squeeze his hand as tight as you need to when you’re having cramps. It’s one way of letting him know of it, which makes him more aware and would do what he can to help you feel better. He knows that you don’t like making too much small talk when it hurts so he’ll save you the conversation for later and make a swift getaway from people if you’re digging your nails in his palm.

He’s too shy to buy you pads or tampons, but he’s not going to let you know. He will valiantly try on his own, because he goes to the store as your boyfriend, not the King. The look of pain on your face as you try to get out of bed reminds him why he’s there, but in the end, he asks for Sirius to come along with him. Sometimes Seth will butt in and come with him instead.

He’ll deal with your swinging emotions as calmly as he can. Ray’s not one to lose a temper, especially knowing that it’s because of your period and hormones. He’ll let you throw the tantrum and when you’re done, he’ll ask you if you’re okay and take care of you. That often involves hugs and a quiet apology, because you’ve embarrassed yourself with the outburst, but he always reassures you in the end.

Fenrir Godspeed (by @lil-creatorwritings)

He’s shocked the first time it happens. You’re in too much pain to let him know, and he’s just sitting beside you, his face knotted in a worried expression. He’s asking all kinds of question--where, how much, what it feels like, what you need--simultaneously, and you have to grab his shoulder and squeeze tightly to get him to focus. Fenrir eventually calms down when you explain it to him after the cramps.

Fenrir asks you one time how does cramps feel like, and the description of “it feels like someone’s stabbing your stomach with a sharp knife again and again” leaves him horrified. Now, he always gives you piggy back rides when you need to go to places when you’re having a cramps. Once, he’s carried you all the way back to headquarters from Blanc’s place, since the roads were very bumpy and he figured that you’d end up hurting more if you took the carriage back.

He loves surprising you with little things, so the morning that he brought you some breakfast in bed, he was rattled when you started crying. You thought it was adorable and sweet of him to do so, and you managed to communicate this in between sobs. Now every time you cry over a surprise from him, he does his best to make you laugh and smile instead.

Fenrir will start stocking up on your cravings, no matter how weird they might be. You previously asked him for some bacon and chocolate, then vanilla ice cream and french fries. It’s a weird combination and you’re not sure how to explain it to him either, but he always gets you whatever you want.

He notices that you get tired faster on your period, so he helps out with whatever task you needed to do for today. Sometimes he’ll just make you sit and settle down, taking care of it himself when you’re too tired. He’ll always accompany you on your grocery trips and carry the bags for you all the way back home.

Kyle Ash (by @alloveroliver)

It’s just after breakfast when Alice and Kyle begin to chat about their plans for the day. Alice has some errands she needs to run in the Central Quarter and a few other tasks around the barracks to be completed at once.

Just as Kyle begins to discuss his full weekend schedule with her, Alice clutches her abdomen. The pain starts to twist her insides making her brows scrunch and her teeth grit. Kyle's voice becomes nothing but a mumble to her as his words are lost in the intense pain that overcomes her. Soon, the pain subsides, and Alice takes in a few deep breaths. Kyle’s cold hand comes up to rest on her forearm, bringing her mind back into the present room.

”Are you okay?” Her boyfriend asks after a long pause. “Mm, I’ll be fine. I think my cramps have started.” She bites her lip as another painful wave radiates from her stomach. Someone walks into the dining hall, and Kyle leans forward to her to whisper. “Let’s get you back to your room, and you can rest for a bit.”

She agrees, and he helps walk her back. His arm is behind her back, and Alice moves away. “I don't want to be touched right now.” She quips, crossing her arms as they approach the bedroom door. “That’s fine.” Kyle smiles, lifting his hands in the air in surrender. “Just let me know how I can help you.”

Alice lays on the bed, curled up in a ball while Kyle lists off things that might be able to help. Alice agrees to let him get her a heating pad and a cold rag for her forehead. The duality of the temperatures on her body helps subside the pain, allowing for a minor distraction while also easing her stomach muscles. Kyle offers a variety of her favorite cravings, but Alice waves him off. After eating breakfast, she's too full for any more snacks. Kyle gives her proper pain medication and lays with her in bed on his own side. He distracts her with silly stories of his times at the bar, dumb things he barely remembers and some he remembers too well.

After the pain medication begins to kick in, Kyle makes plans to help her with all her task for the next day. All her errands and tasks at the army barracks would be finished quickly with his help. Alice smiles at her caring boyfriend, touching his arm from the other side of the bed. “Thank you, Kyle. You’re the best boyfriend a gal could ask for.” She jokes finally since the pain had begun to subside. Kyle blushes and averts his eyes. “I’m just doing what anyone should be doing…”

Sirius Oswald (by @alloveroliver)

Dinner with the black army officers was going well until Sirius noticed that Alice began to speak less and less. Eventually, she wasn’t responding to any aspect of the conversating making him suspicious. She seemed immensely distracted, staring down at her half-eaten plate.

“Are you going to finish up your meal, little lady? It’s unlike you to-” “Shh, please stop talking for just a moment I can't concentrate…” He hears the strain in her voice and grows even more concerned. He drops his utensils and wipes his mouth the napkin. Waiting patiently, he watches her face relax again before speaking. “Would you like for me to take you to our room for the evening?” He whispers just to where they can hear. Alice nods her head yes and puts her hand on his shoulder to stand. The cramps still roll through her abdomen as Sirius excuses them from dinner and leaves to the hallway.

As they walk towards their bedroom, Alice stops along the way to allow for the white-hot pain to pass. Sirius offers quietly to carry her, making sure their conversation can only be heard between them alone. With a huge grin, she agrees. She wraps her arms around his neck, and Sirius moves his down her back and under her knees. He easily carries her down the long halls until they meet their destination. Once inside he lays her on the couch and gives her several pillows to cuddle with.

”Would you like for me to draw you a hot bath. I can add some essential oils and bath salts?” Sirius rubs her back as the pain shoots up her spine. A groggy “Yes... “ followed by a weak whimper comes from her as she presses her face in the plush pillow. He's slow to leave her side, but when he does, he rushes to prepare everything. He drips a few drops of lavender essential oil to help relax her, into the running bath water. The warm steam wafts through the bathroom while he adds a cup full of bath salts that prove to help aid in easing weary muscles. Sirius rolls up his sleeve and mixes the salts into the water making sure they dissolve before getting Alice.

He helps her out of the bedroom and into the warm bathroom. Then aids in putting her hair up in a high bun so it won't get wet. Sirius prepares her a sizeable fluffy towel while she undresses and sinks her body into the water. He leaves her to soak in the bath for a long while. Almost an hour goes by before Sirius returns with a large glass of water and some candied ginger. The ginger should help her turmoiled stomach since cramps are known to make her nauseous, while also giving her something sweet to snack on. He lets her relax and rest for the remainder of the day, making sure he brings by her after-dinner dessert. He’s checking in on her after each of his meetings and paperwork bringing something new to help in any way he can.

#ikemen revolution #luka clemence #jonah clemence #ray blackwell #fenrir godspeed #kyle ash #sirius oswald #last tea party

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sunlitroom · 5 years

Text

Gotham – s5e03 – Penguin, Our Hero

As I watched it, and some random observations here and there.

Previously on Gotham:

Selina can walk again. She’s also part cat, thanks to the whole ‘medication may release the darker angels of your true self’ side-effect. Big-eyed orphans flocked to Jim. Tabitha ran into Oswald’s knife. Lots of gangleaders want to kill Jim. Barbara rescued him because she needs his help killing Oswald, because no-one else in interested, because Tabitha was easily one of the most dislikeable people in town. Seriously, Barbara. Have you noticed that Sirens isn’t exactly swamped in floral tributes? Haven exists in soft focus. Ed and Tank got rough. Some very lazy graffiti implicated Oswald in the killing of several gang members.

As always, long post will be long. There are likely to be rambling digressions. Gobblepot might appear (although I welcome all shippers and non-shippers alike :)). There will be naked favouritism and naked not-favouritism. Broader comments at the end on plotlines and parallels and general direction.

Oswald opens what I’m assuming is his bedroom door, or a door to his private rooms. He hears a choir singing a song of praise and smiles beatifically.

(An aside. This is really dumb and I hate it - I'm not wasting wrist strength on it. Also - it's really offensive. Really really offensive)

In summary, Penn gives Oswald good news about production. The writers feel the need to really hammer home that totalitarian regimes are bad, like we may be somehow unaware of this. We also learn that people are ‘defecting’ to Haven, and that people love Jim Gordon. Oswald pitches a hissy fit that’s interrupted when a bunch of bikers break in, looking for revenge for Oswald’s apparent attack. He explains to the leader exactly how and why he’s stupid, and orders him to be interrogated.

In her hospital bed, Selina dreams about being shot by Jeremiah. This will be a recurring theme in this episode – Selina has flashbacks later - and I think it’s a good thing that we get to see someone actually dealing with the aftermath of trauma. I hope they don’t try to attribute this to the nasty seed thing later.

Waking with a start, she gets up and dressed and heads out onto the roof. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she leaps off the side, like she used to do.

At Haven, Harvey is warning about coping with the growth of new arrivals - word spreading like bad case of clap. He also warns that the gangs will come looking for the slave labour they’ve lost.

Jim seems unconcerned. Let 'em

Harvey says they hardly have any ammo or food to deal with either issue– but Jim still refuses to turn people away.

Harvey then eyes Jim, and asks him when he slept – he’s been going full-tilt for months. Jim tells him he’s OK – but does seem a little flat as he says this.

They enter a makeshift canteen, where Bruce is working. They ask him for some good news, and Bruce tells them something about a water purification system that’s small-scale, but still an improvement.

As they’re talking, a fight breaks out over rations. Jim breaks it up, and then realises people are staring expectantly, and delivers a speech. He tells the new arrivals that they’re all welcome, but they need to leave the fighting outside. The government thinks they don’t need help, and they need to prove otherwise. The gangs outside can tear each other apart – but they need to help each other survive.

Harvey is the voice of cynicism – pointing out that Jim’s speech worked now, but that it’s not going to be pretty when they find out that the government has abandoned them.

Bruce tells Jim that he’s holding this place together, and giving everyone hope – but he has more to add to his plate. Will, the big-eyed orphan, is having nightmares and broke his arm falling from his bed. Could Jim talk to him?

(An aside. I get that they’re building up Jim as a more uncomplicated protagonist and father figure. This is also to emphasise how emotionally invested Jim is in Haven, so that the explosion at the end will have added impact. However. It is treacly to the point of becoming sickening. Maybe it’s setting up another of Jim’s dark paths – where he’ll side with his old army pal over tried and tested allies in Gotham, and have a one night stand with Barbara – but even then, it’s just all felt a little heavy-handed)

In the dormitory, Jim sits down next to Will. Bruce tells him that they can’t imagine what he’s been through, but that he’s safe now. Jim underlines this by telling him that he’ll never let anyone hurt him again.

(An aside. Jim, no. You can’t promise that. You can promise to do your best – but you can’t promise to keep someone safe like that. Bruce is young enough to have an excuse. You know better.)

Jim offers the boy a treat before he leaves.

I’ve got something for you: pineapple from my rations. Hang in there – I’ll check on you later

He and Bruce walk away

(An aside – the obvious parallel here is between Jim and Oswald as leaders. Oswald – on an ego-trip, serving himself an elaborate breakfast, literally enjoying hearing his praises sung, slowly leaking followers. Jim – giving his rations away, working himself exhausted for his people, with people endlessly arriving at Haven.

And I suspect that’s how we’re supposed to view it – but, and I know I’m probably overcomplicating, it’s not quite so black and white. It’s not as nakedly motivated by ego as Oswald’s actions, but there’s no way that this isn’t gratifying for Jim)

Selina shows up in the dormitory. An alarmed Bruce tells her she’s supposed to be resting- but a cocky Selina asks him if she looks like she needs it. She’s never felt better, and she wants to find the freak who shot me.

Bruce says he’s been looking for Jeremiah, but never found anything. Selina points out that there’s been an influx of refugees from all over the city – someone must know something.

Bruce says he wants to find him as much as Selina – but he’s had months to fortify, and they need to be careful. Selina looks askance at him, and asks him if he’s scared. Bruce replies that of course he is, Jeremiah

Shot you to get to me

He tells her he can’t lose her

Selina tells him she’s not his to lose. He can’t stop her, but she does want his help. Bruce stares for a moment, and says that if they’re going to take him down, they’ll do it right. They’ll bring him back here and he’ll stand trial

(An aside. Honestly, Bruce? I don’t see any judges hanging around. A makeshift court consisting of you, Jim and Harvey isn’t exactly doing it right. On top of that, do you really want to bring Jeremiah into close proximity with defenceless civilians?)

Selina smiles fondly at Bruce’s naivete. Reaching up, she touches his face and kisses him.

I was hoping I could count on you

Further in the dormitory, a man sitting on a bed says he heard rumours in dark zone – which is apparently a place of chaos - ruled by those who lost their minds when the bridges went down

(An aside. Sigh, Gotham. So the mentally ill are scary again.)

Jeremiah is there, gathering followers. Selina makes to leave immediately, but the man remonstrates, telling her

You can’t go there: you’ll die! Jeremiah is the least of your worries. Everyone there is insane. Look what they did to my friend

He pulls the cover down, and we can see the man in the bed has had stuff carved into his torso.

Oswald opens his bedroom door, in a snit, clad in underwear this time. He’s wearing a tight black top and shorts under his white cotton garment. I’m guessing the white thing was possibly a little too see through, and they decided to just let the black underwear show rather than get a headache trying to hide it.

Penn! Where the f…..

His choir is gone, and there’s only Olga singing alone

(An aside – I know it’s not the biggest point in the world: but if people like Olga and Eyepatch Guy consistently come back to work for Oswald, then he’s not as uniformly loathsome as the show likes to paint him)

Oswald interrupts her – asking where his staff and Mr Penn are. She informs them that they all defected to Haven. He fulminates before panicking, looking for his dog.

He turns to Olga, teary-eyed

They took my dog?

She looks blandly at him

Rumour say pup went willingly

(An aside – I know Oswald’s scenes are more or less comic relief at points, but I still do get irritated when he takes more of a kicking than any other character in terms of sheer humiliation and being told he’s unlovable.)

He screams in rage and grabs the biker chained to the wall

You're in luck. Our interests are now aligned – and you may live

He tells him to contact the other deeply irritating petty gangs, and to gather men, vehicles and petrol. He has bullets. They’re going to pay a visit to Haven.

After he’s dressed, that is.

At GCPD/Haven, Harvey – accompanied by Alvarez - tells Jim Oswald has made it through the barricade with gangs.

Jim tells them to load up. Harvey points out they’re low on ammo. Jim sends him to someone he hopes with be friendly.

(An aside here. How much time has passed since last episode? Barbara made clear to Jim when she saved him that this was essentially conditional on him agreeing to plot Oswald’s death with her. Jim said he’d table that for later. Is she still waiting for this to happen? Has she just assumed he’s not going to do it? When are we, exactly? If he’s really just never got back in touch, why assume that she’s going to be willing to help – other than the fact that he has no other options, and Jim has a track record of expecting help from people – no matter whether he’s recently jerked them around.)

Down the tree-lined street where Ivy and Selina once wandered – and which is now the dark zone. Selina cracks a joke about calling it the dull zone, and Bruce gazes at her – telling her he’s glad she seems herself again

Selina says she’s been here before – it’s the posh part of town. Bruce says people with money got out. She points out that he didn’t, and he tells her seriously that he had a reason to stay.

(An aside. Oh Selina – and it wasn’t staying with you. Bruce wanted Alfred to evacuate with Selina. He was going to stay and hunt Jeremiah down. Does Selina know this?)

A man with a bomb strapped to him runs towards them, frantically asking for help, before the bomb explodes. We hear laughter and gunshot, as a band of God knows what approaches. Actually. There was a version of Phantom of the Opera set in a disco in the 70s - called Phantom of the Paradise. They remind me of this, crossed with the slightly naff cenobites from Hellraiser III

Anyway

They turn to run, and collide with a hulking guy who’s not exactly friendly

Selina says they’re looking for Jeremiah

Kill you. Kill Jeremiah

Selina decides the best course of action is to find the schoolyard’s biggest bully and take him down

They all start fighting.

Haven, where Mr Penn is still conducting the choir - who now do hymns instead. We hear the sound of bikes approaching. Penn nervously asks Jim what’s going on.

It’s Oswald. Jim tells his men to hold their fire

Oswald gets out of his car – lividly angry.

Well. If it isn’t my old friend Mr Penn, and the Gertrud Kapelput Memorial Choir. How nice to see some familiar faces!

Jim tells Oswald that he shouldn’t have come to Haven. Oswald responds angrily that he stole his people and his dog.

Jim says that the people came here of their own free will. Oswald ignores him to call on his dog, who doesn’t respond to him

Jim raises his eyebrows at him triumphantly when the dog refuses to come when called.

Oswald reiterates that Jim is to return his people and his dog – and also apologise.

Jim says no.

Oswald tells him he knows his ammo is used up – he’s bluffing.

On Jim’s signal – some of his men take down some of the bikers. Oswald pulls a face, and Jim says his men need some target practice.

Back with Selina and Bruce. The hulking guy tells her that she looks soft – while she tells him he looks 300lbs of ugly.

Selina gets the man on the ground and starts clawing at his face with her new metal claws – demanding that he tell her where Jeremiah is.

The man protests that they don't mess with him – but then tells her he’s at Hotel North.

Selina’s still going, though, clawing at his face. Bruce tells her he’s had enough. She says it’s enough when she says so, and he restrains her.

He looks at her, troubled, and tells her she won. It’s over.

Selina blithely replies that it was easy, and strolls off. Bruce stares after her unhappily.

Back at Haven, an irate Oswald tells the bikers that Jim is bluffing. The leader asks how he knows.

I know Jim Gordon

Oswald says if they require a demonstration – they should march forward. The biker says they have guns – Oswald retorts that he does too, and his are loaded.

They march. As they approach, Jim tells his men to make ‘em count.

They shoot – but run out of bullets, leaving one man standing.

Oswald gloats that Jim is out of ammo, and points out that he doesn’t want his men to die.

On the count of three, GCPD lower their weapons.

Bruce and Selina head to the church – Selina deftly climbing over cars. Bruce is not happy at how she handled the big guy earlier, but Selina disagrees – asking whose side he’s on?

Yours. Always

As they approach the church, they see a shrine to Jeremiah. Selina says she’ll tear his throat out. They follow some other people up the stairs to the church and enter the building.

A woman in a mask welcomes them to the Church of Jeremiah, where the faithful will become their best selves – after a demonstration of faith.

They’re very oddly dressed. Shirt and tie – and one guy in a kilt (which tends really to be formal wear)

They walk further in. The masked woman stops Selina – and points out she doesn’t look like a worshipper. Selina insincerely says she witnessed his work first hand, and she’ll never forget it.

She is permitted to pass, and follows the adherents upstairs. The masked woman whispers in the ear of another guard before removing her mask. It’s Ecco, in some dilapidated makeup.

Bruce slips away

(An aside - Where are the clean and well-dressed devotees coming from? I thought the Dark Zone was a terrifying bedlam? How did they get there without being attacked? Why are they so clean and well-presented?)

Oswald leads Jim to a cage/cell. Jim tells him he’s going to regret this. Oswald gloats that those are strong words for someone out of options. He’s going to have Jim watch while they destroy Haven, and then shoot him and leave him for dead like did to Oswald

(An aside – Oswald – no you’re not. We both know this. Jim knows this. That one-episode biker leader knows this. Tank knows this. Those weird English peasants at Ivy’s know this. Give. It. Up)

Jim tells him when the government finds out what he’s done, he’ll be at the top of the wanted list. Jim – Jeremiah created this whole crisis. Jonathan is crucifying people. The government will not share your pigtail-pulling fascination with Oswald.

Oswald tells Jim the only law in Gotham is power. Jim tells him they have children and families here. What will happen when the gangs take them back? Oswald blithely says they’ll go back to being slaves. His people will go back to their lives: bellies full of gruel, with him as their protector.

Jim tells him to take revenge on him – but leave the refugees alone. Oswald tells him it’s almost tempting – before leaving

(An aside – and here, again, we have the problem with this storyline. If you can tug on anyone’s heartstrings, it’s Oswald’s. It’s stupid enough that they have him genuinely believing his people enjoy their life. The additional notion that he wouldn’t actually care about children and families is stupid. Let’s not forget – when Oswald was piloting the blimp, the worst outcome he could imagine was the death of thousands of innocent citizens. It was Jim who felt the need to further incentivise him by appealing to his ambition. Seriously, now. It wasn’t that long ago. I’ve said it several times before – but if your plot demands that the characters are ooc in order to facilitate it, your plot isn’t good)

Outside, Penn is being chained up. Oswald’s not happy at this, and steps in

Stop - that one belongs to me

He manages to unchain Mr Penn – who smiles happily - at being rescued, but also maybe at the indication that Oswald actually appreciates him.

One of the annoying bikers grumbles that Oswald sacrificed one of his guys. While Oswald is untying Mr Penn, who’s thanking him all the while – the biker shoots Penn in the gut.

Penn drops to the floor. Oswald tries to stem the bleeding but it’s no good.

You should have stayed with me! Why did you leave?

Penn looks up at him and, without malice, simply tells him

Everyone hated you

Oswald looks down, his face blanched.

One of the bikers tells him they’ll take everything. An enraged Oswald says he’ll pay for this, before the biker wallops him hard in the face.

(An aside – sorry, but no. Oswald is cleverer than this. He’s adept at reading other people’s needs and wants. The notion that he honestly would have no idea of how he was perceived is just silly.

Also – I know there apparently wasn’t time to develop Penn as the Ventriloquist, but I don’t think they had to kill him off. It feels really unnecessary. Given that this ‘revelation’ was only needed because they made Oswald temporarily stupid, it’s particularly bitter. On top of that, if I feel he’s been jettisoned to help make room for the compulsory indigestible lump of Os/Ed interaction we’ve to dutifully swallow later this season, I am going to feel rather cross.)

Oswald is taken to the cage, struggling and protesting.

Let me go, we had a deal!

As he’s shoved in, Jim watches him calmly from the corner.

I take it that didn’t work out like you planned?

Harvey is at Sirens, calling for Barbara. She sneaks up behind him, puts a knife to his throat and tells him there no men in Sirens past midnight – making it surely a very inconvenient brothel.

She adds that perhaps it’s time golden boy learned to save himself. She asks Harvey if he’s tired of playing sidekick.

Harvey tells her he doesn’t see it that way. They’re friends fighting for same thing.

Barbara says she remembers when Jim was the idealistic rookie and Harvey was the cynical veteran. Harvey cuts in that she was sane back then. Barbara snidely says that now Harvey carries Jim’s laundry.

Don’t you wonder what your life would have been like if you never met Jim Gordon?

(An aside - Barbara. Yes – you have ample cause to deeply resent Jim. He compartmentalised the bejesus out of his life when he was engaged to you, he moved on indecently fast, and his default facial expression when he’s encountered you since has been a curled lip and a sneer. You turned to him after your release from Arkham and asked for him simply to recognise you as a person, and he wouldn’t do it.

However, laying the blame at everyone else’s door for your current situation has become tedious. You were placed in horrible situations, but you have also had agency. Decisions were made. Paths were taken. For the actual love of God, stop whining. I’m so bored.)

Harvey replies that he’d be dead, or wishing he was.

(Another aside. The spectre of Death has hung over Harvey since day one. I do hope he makes it to the end)

Barbara sneers that he’s delusional – like the saps who expect the government to help.

Harvey tries again – commenting that he knows they’ve had their differences, before mentioning that Oswald has turned up…

Barbara’s tune changes, and she tells him he should have opened with that.

Let’s move

Back in the cell, Jim is trying to cut his bindings. Oswald is ranting. Jim’s taken everything from him. Jim tells him to keep his voice down. Oswald keeps talking. His people should have loved him, he kept them safe. What so special about Haven?

Jim pulls a face at him, and says it’s special because it’s far away from him. Oswald pulls a face of his own

That's rich

People are coming, and Jim hisses at Oswald to be quiet. We see the head biker and a couple of children come in looking for supplies – one of whom is big-eyed orphan boy, who glances quickly at Jim. Jim tells Oswald to just act normal, adding

I know it's a stretch

The boy slides a piece of metal under the cage, which Oswald covers with his foot. The bikers find he booze they were looking for, and leave.

Oswald laughs manically. When they get out – he is going to tear this place to the ground. He starts to rant – but Jim interrupts him. That won’t solve the problem. They need to take the gangs out – right here, right now.

They look down at the piece of metal. Oswald asks how they pick it up.

They eye each other, and – honestly – the fact that they both wordlessly come to the same impractical solution points to how bizarrely close they are.

They turn back to back and – leaning against each other – lower themselves slowly to the floor, with Jim making some of the best facial expressions ever seen.

(An aside. OK. Fair enough, Oswald can’t really pick that up: I don’t think his leg would allow him. But Jim. Jimothy. JimJam. Jimbalaya. I ran a test. It’s easy to lower down to the ground with your hands behind your back, pick something up, and then stand again. You saw a chance for some body contact and you took it. Naughty.)

Bruce creeping about at Jeremiah's lair. He encounters a corridor strewn with the corpses of pilgrims, all with gunshot wounds to the head.

Meanwhile, Selina joins Ecco and the others in an empty swimming pool. Essentially, they play a group game of Russian roulette. Ecco is very theatrical and Harley Quinn-ish about all this. Selina scoffs – but, on Ecco implying she’s a coward, places the bullet in the chamber and spins the barrel.

Ecco counts them down – again, slightly aggravating on the quirky preciousness front. We go quickly back to Bruce, whose head turns sharply when he hears the gunshots.

Ecco strolls round, announcing that she’s disappointed in those who didn’t participate. Selina says she’s

Just not a mindless idiot willing to get shot in the head for nothing

Ecco glares. She comments that Curls is here to judge all of us. She goes on, though, indulging in some wittering about Jeremiah and his methods and how it looks like madness but it’s really liberation, blah blah blah

She then tells them all to leave now – she needs to have a word with Selina. They all got straight ‘As’ and can proceed and be reborn.

Elsewhere, Bruce follows two guards before beating them. He ascends further up the staircase.

Selina faces off with Ecco. Ecco says she doesn’t want to meet Jeremiah, but Selina insists she does – only she’s not willing to play that psychotic game

Ecco does some more quirky stuff

But baby – it’s so fun!

Selina asks why Ecco doesn’t play. Ecco tells her she doesn’t get it. Lifting her hair, she displays a scar at the base of her skull, near her ear.

The bullet’s still inside. I hear it. Ping ping ping. Boy do I feel it when the nights get cold

She pulls the trigger, but there’s no bullet. She seems to be getting off a little on it.

Selina tells her she’s insane – but she’s indignant at this, saying she was willing to look death in the face and allow the old her to die. This is the gift Jerome gave Jeremiah – and now it’s the gift he’s giving them

(An aside – interestingly, Jeremiah seems to have rather retconned his past with Jerome again. The gas wouldn’t have killed Jeremiah – there was no potentially fatal option, as with his gun method)

Ecco smiles

We want you to experience that gift….Selina

Selina’s eyes widen

You know me

Ecco smiles

There’s not a single part of Bruce's life we don’t know about. His joys, his fears, his desires

(An aside. Wow. That sounds a like a fun couple activity.)

She adds that Bruce wasn’t ready for Jeremiah’s gift, and nor was Selina.

Selina grimaces as Ecco points the gun at her face

One thing Jeremiah did teach me. I hate a gun pointed at my face.

She hisses angrily, and they start to fight.

Oh puddin’. Aren't you delicious?

(An aside. I suppose you can’t really blame Ecco for flirting with Selina. It sounds like most of her evenings with Jeremiah are spent working on the big Bruce scrapbook.)

Ecco says she knew she had it in her – all it took was a kick in the pants.

Bruce appears. Ecco sneers that her boyfriend is worried about her.

Selina flashes back to her shooting. She manages to turn the gun on Ecco – but Bruce yells stop, and Ecco escapes, stabbing Selina in the leg as she goes. Selina screams in rage and makes after her – but Bruce stops her, telling her that she’s bleeding.

Selina cuffs him to the gate. Bruce protests, but Selina says they’ve done things his way. Not it’s her turn. Bruce is left yelling after her as Selina drags herself off after Ecco.

Back at Haven, the bikers eyeing up cops and discussing who might be best for fights. Jim strolls up

How about this?

He points his gun

The biker says he’s bluffing

I’m afraid not

Oswald appears at the other end of the room

Neither am I

Oswald shoots the gang members. Jim calls on the cops to come out. Jim and Oswald face each other across the room. We hear a whimper, and Oswald’s dog approaches him. He fusses over him, and reassures him that he killed the bad men.

The crowd behind him overhear this and mutter agreement – he did shoot the bad men. They start to chant his name.

Oswald smiles gleefully. In many ways, he’s the world's simplest creature.

Back at Haven, people are arguing both with and about Jim

You promised safety!

He saved us!

Oh boy. Time for another speech.

It was a hard day - but we won.

He points out that they’ve got Oswald's guns and ammo now, and that they survived. Hope survived too – and he thinks that’s worth fighting for.

So do I

It’s the winsome orphan who rescued him

(An aside. Mercy, Gotham. I can’t take much more of this treacle.)

Jim blinks in response to this support. He goes on. Now there’s work to be done, wounded to be cared for.

Tomorrow's another day

Jim’s Scarlett O'Hara now.

A cop appears to tell Jim that Oswald is outside.

Before he heads out, Jim tells the winsome orphan that he did a brave thing, and that they wouldn’t have escaped if not for him. The boy replies that Jim helped him, so he wanted to reciprocate. He hands the boy his badge, and tells him he needs deputies. He smiles and thanks him – especially since he’s allergic to pineapple.

Jim walks towards Oswald, who is fussing over the dog. He straightens up as Jim approaches, and asks him if the cops are really necessary: after all, he just saved hundreds of people.

Jim adds that he endangered them to start with, so he can be forgiven for wanting to play it safe.

Oswald looks up at him, his face more sincere

Still - I do hope there’s no hard feelings?

Jim steps closer and looks at him like he’s recently been caught stealing apples, as opposed to putting a bounty on his head and then breaking through the barricade with a gang of bikers.

You did the right thing today, Oswald. You’re free to go. Don’t make me regret it.

They stand close and – even with my shipper glasses off, there’s really no other way to describe this – stare at each other fondly, smiles on their faces.

(An aside, before Barbara comes in waving the plot point no-one cares about.

I ship this like crazy. I like writing fic for it. One thing that’s blocked me for ages is how readily Oswald can forgive the worst of behaviour from Jim, and how Jim readily heads back to him for help each time no matter where their relationship has been. But actually seeing this helped me get it. Oswald thinks he’s capable of doing great things for the city and its people. Jim also believes this of himself: Jim Gordon, hero of Gotham. They also both know they are capable of terrible, terrible things.

To have someone who is not only seemingly willing to forgive you anything, but who also has a seemingly endless capacity to believe in you? That’s about as a big a deal as you can get. No wonder they keep gravitating towards each other. Who wouldn’t?)

Harvey hurries in, shouting a Jim in warning. He’s swiftly followed by Barbara.

Hi Pengy. Bye Pengy

Wide-eyed, Oswald holds his hands out in front of him, falling back on what he always falls back on in dire straits

Jim!

Jim hurriedly gets in front of him, and faces Barbara down

Barbara, no

Barbara tells him to get out of her way or he’ll get her first bullet.

Jim insists that he’s not moving

We don’t get to see what Barbara does next, because there’s an explosion that knocks everyone to the ground. Oswald, Barbara and Harvey are unconscious, but Jim stands and looks around to see Haven up in flames. There’s no scream of rage – just resignation, and weariness.

(An aside - So, I’m guessing that the explosion was Jeremiah’s doing – given that it just so happened to coincide with Bruce not being anywhere near the building?)

General Observations

A couple of themes here.

The obvious parallel is between Jim and Oswald as leaders. Jim is the ‘good’ leader, Oswald the ‘bad’ leader. I don’t think we’re supposed to read more into it – but, as I said, I think you can really dig into a little more. Barbara comments offhand that Jim wants to be a hero. They both get emotional gratification from what they’re doing.

Oswald has already been chastened by Mr Penn’s death. How Jim copes with what has happened remains to be seen.

There was a little bit of crossover between storylines, if you squint, in the notion of proving yourself under pressure. Oswald eventually did the right thing. Oswald and Jim came together when it counted. On the darker side, Ecco seemed insistent that Selina could step up to the challenge she posed after a kick in the pants.

Given that it lasted a whole two episodes – the Oswald as dictator thing was dumb. Oswald’s whole thing is his ability to read motivations and needs and exploit those. He can’t just fall back on a family name, or use brawn to succeed. But suddenly he actually hadn’t realised that people hated him? Really? Equally – the bit later about him not understanding why people would resent the situation he offered: safety and stability – Oswald’s whole first season is him rejecting the notion of ‘knowing his place’ in favour of clawing his way up, risking his neck repeatedly.

Sorry – but this storyline has been dependent on both ooc-ness and Flanderizing his character.

Hmmm. See – here’s the thing. I liked Jeremiah last season – pre and post-gas. He was different and had his own quirks and complexities. He simmered icily – a contrast to Jerome’s all-out mayhem. But I find the whole Cult of Joker thing tiresome – with all the witless, biddable acolytes wittering on about how he’ll open your mind. It feels even more marked with Jeremiah, who essentially displays almost total contempt to anyone who isn’t Bruce. I’m guessing part of the reason he stays secluded is that he can barely tolerate them.

I wonder if we’ll ever find out why Ecco was so devoted to Jeremiah. Because she was – back last season – before all the gas stuff. Fiercely devoted. It didn’t feel like a romantic thing – and I was curious to find out what it was. Had he helped her out of a bad situation? Did his working set-up meet her needs and personality in some particular way?

Thoughts?

#gotham commentary #gotham s5e03 #penguin our hero

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sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 3 years

Text

I ripped up my pop-up laundry basket because I was so pissed that somebody or even the delivery stole my 2 boxes of pizza and the cheese bread off of our front porch and I paid dominos $30 for it.

I had to call them to see if he dropped it off at the wrong house or just didn't pay attention. Cause I came downstairs to check at 4:55 and nothing was there, then I went back outside at 5:00, still nothing....opposite to what my dominos tracker said.

And I bought this fucking pizza to make my day because I was so tired, depressed, and sick of being reminded of Jay while watching porn, changing videos that it made me cry because of how she used to sexually reject in the middle of us having sex and then would tell Ayunna to do my work just because I made one mistake or just really wanted to just sit there and watch. I don't understand what made her so non-interactive with me sexually even though she was the one who always initiated. And she acted like she hated the idea of me even touching in any kind of way without her permission, but it was okay if she touched me innappropiately or harassed me at their place?

She's a sicko, a sicko psycho.

And mom, not even giving a fuck that someone stole the food I was finna share pissed me off even further. She goes, "well, at least it will help you save money. You don't need to be buying no food anyway."

Bitch stfu.

And then Dominos actually thinking I'm the one lying about this. We've ordered food and bought pizza from them for years and this is the 1st time that we've ever got our delivery food stolen. Like wtffffff.

And mom knows good and damn well if I would have said that to her if one of her Amazon Packages got stolen, she would have cussed me out or told me to shut up.

She so fucking rude and I really don't wanna move out to no bummy ass looking apartment when I move out, just because the prices are so fucking in the area I'm trying to move into.

I don't wanna move to a different city with the same issue? Bitch if somebody steal anything from me, packages, mail, food, I pop the fuck off and mom was so nonchalant and passive about it, even when I asked her to check the ring camera to see if anyone took it.

It don't add up to me how there was barely anyone outside and the one day I order pizza because I feel unhappy, I get this fucking news and that bitches mouth.

Dominos gave me partial money back and kept the $4 tip. I'm still pissed because I don't believe or understand how can my food get stolen less than 5 min from what it said on the app, unless he arrived earlier than what it said 🤔

And nobody told me what time he came. He didn't even ask me was I alright. Talking about "well believe you this time. But we're not coming back."

Like WTFFF I GOT MY PIZZA TOOK AND NOW YOU WANNA BE A SMARTASS ABOUT ME STILL EVEN WANTING TO ORDER MORE

FUCK YOU, FUCK MOMS SARCASTIC, EGOMANIAC MOUTH, FUCK THIS HOUSE, FUCK THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, AND FUCK THIS PTSD THAT STOPS ME FROM ENJOYING PORN AND EVERYTHING ELSE IN BETWEEN.

IM TIRED OF THIS FUCKING JOB MARKET THATS SO DAMN CRITICAL IN JOB EXPERIENCE AND PROGRAMS.

BITCH IF I GOT 6YRS EXPERIENCE AND I GOT MY BACHELOR’S WTFFFFF IS GOING ON IN HR

THEY ACT LIKE 6YRS AINT WORTH SHIT IF YOU DONT HAVE EXACTLY TO THE FUCKING T OF WHAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR.

AND MOM AND DAD THINKS ITS SO FUCKING EASY FOR ME TO JUST APPLY AND WAIT FOR ANOTHER FUCKING JOB, ONLY FOR THEIR PRIVILEGED, SUPPRESSING, CORPORATE ASSES TO TELL ME NO.

IVE BEEN WAITTTTTING SINCE JANNUUUUUUAAAARRRRRYYYYYYYT MMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFF

SO HOW THE FUCK YOU SAY I CAN JUST APPLY HERE AND THERE AND EVERYWHERE IN FUCKING WACKED OUT MICHIGAN WITHOUT SOMEBODY SAYING "WE FOUND BETTER, QUALIFIED CANDIDATES"

Like as if my own life history on this fucking resume doesn't mean shit to them. Makes me think I went to school and did dual enrollment to get out quicker, for nothing 🙃

Wtf is wrong with this world. It's exactly why I say fuck Michigan economy. Now I gotta work factory just to even save up for a car, rent is high af, student loans finna come find my ass, and I don't have a girlfriend because I'm trying to wait till I have an affordable apartment and a car that won't break down on me on the highway in the middle of us driving to Vancouver.

Driving school is only $500. But in order for me to save up for a car, I gotta stay in a $600 or less place cause otherwise imma have to wait a whole entire year to save up for a car, the insurance, gas, and the maintenance costs by the end of next year...so no...fuck that.

With this fucking salary, I'm basically feel like shit because my own fucking friend who's middle class and actually stayed longer to get her masters after I graduated....is already banking a better job, work from home, and I hate complaining to Her about my worries.

And she's the one that inspired me to even go back for the masters. Because they treat you like secondhand condom shit just for having a Bachelor’s. Like it ain't good enough no more. Then when you try to apply to places for the experience that you needed to work another job that denied you, you still get denied by them too because they said your major doesn't match and why you wanna work here if you studied this?

CAUSE YALLL AINT GOT NO JOBS FOR WTF I STUDIED STOP READING FUCKING EVERYTHING SUSAN. I AINT GOT TIME TO EVEN ARGUE WITH YOU ABOUT THAT

it's like they really don't care in the 1st place, they just wanna know if you qualify and half the time I be lying about why I wAnNA wOrK hErE because yall cats read into people shit and judge them for just trying to make a living just to even have a place to stay and eat healthy food so a bitch can find better partners than the fuckbois and users on tinder.

I'm soooooo damn tired of being judged, mocked, criticized, and being rejected. And then the past mocking me about old rejections that I'm still waiiiiittttttiiingggggg for me to heal from. A year or nor, my heart still feels like it's January, thinking about everything and why did I block Jay when they reached out?

I was afraid that she would have just lied to me again, pushed me away even harder because I had already left, and then blocked me after. When I'm the one who chose to leave, I'm the one who is hurt, why did they always make it seem like my pain came last to their pain. Like it was always about serving them, doing what they said, what they wanted just because they were the couple, and took over every God Damn thing, and kept pushing me away, neglecting my emotions, manipulating and etc.

I don't even wanna talk about the same shit that happened anymore. But my brain does, my heart does. Because I remember everything. My heart can't make the pain go away, but I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of crying about it and I hate that people in this house can trigger my actions to tear up shit, scream at the top of my lungs like a damn scarecrow on DragonBall Z, I'm tired of mom triggering me to think she hates my actions and the way that I think say or do something she doesn't agree about or care about, so she comments on everything little thing she despises.

When I'm already struggling to be happy. She does not give a fuck. And I bet if I told her I was feeling suicidal holding that wire from the laundry basket in my hand, feeling manic so I strangled my palms, my knuckles, and squeezed the crap out of that wire hoping it would make me forget about ripping up that piece of shit hamper, and make the irritation, that need to strangle somebody, something to make this itch go away to attack my mother with my words and tell her TO HURT HER OWN GOD DAMN FEELINGS INSTEAD OF KEEP HURTING MINE, YOU ARROGANT, COCKY ASS SON OF A BITCH AND I HATE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DO TO ME. PIERCING IN MY FUCKING BACK, THE DRY ASS, PETTY ASS RESPONSES TO WHEN IM GOING THROUGH SHIT.

BUT LET ME SAY ONE LITTLE THING ABOUT YOU OR EVEN TALK ABOUT GRANDMA YO ASS ACT LIKE I JUST SINNED AND CURSED YO NAME OUT.

SO YOU GET A HISSY FIT AND TELL ME STOP TALKING OR TO SHUT UP.

QUIT TELLING ME TO SHUT UP HOE

I HAVE NO PLACE TO GO BUT HERE AND IM NOT FINNA SUFFER THROUGH THIS BY MYSELF. IM BUYING ME SOME FUCKING PIZZA AND YOU WILL NOT DRIVE MY ASS CRAZY AGAIN.

I'm sick of the ptsd episodes and I'm sick of waiting on other people to give me what I need, so if she got something to say about it, imma let her fucking have it. Cause I'm sick and tired of holding my mouth for her, and her ordering me to shut up, while she gets to sat however she fucking feels about each and little she feels the need to pick at.

Let her country, dumbass catch this heat. Imma bounce it right back to her and she ain't gonna like it. And I don't care if she wants me to just tolerate it anymore, she gon end up dead in her heart too if ever tried to kill me like she did that night in March. She showed no mercy, no remorse, and no she had not stood by her promise to make our relationship work as mother and daughter. She just said that so she didn't have to feel like a dick for her own daughter leaving her out the picture by going to her other mother, the one who understood her sensitivities and actually listened to my needs.

And that was Grandma Clara Jamison.

I hate to say it but, God why? Why did both of my grandma's have to fade. My other grandma don't even remember who I am. And If I talk to my own mom, about her mom, and say that she won't care to comfort me at all. She'll just angry that I made her feel bad because of my emotional response.

So I don't tell her anything. Cause my mom reminds me of how the terrible twins responded to me about being too sensitive, too emotional, to where they even blocked me and abandoned me. Made me suffer alone.

Just like my own mother is doing now, and it's driving my ass crazy. That she's them. Not my ex, but a narcissistic asshole, the bipolar freak who flips out and I can't come to her when I'm in pain, sadness, depression, or grief, anger even.

Because she ridicules me for having a strong feeling about something that doesn't matter. So she talks shit, goes away, or pushes me away when I try telling her in my most vulnerable state.

Which is when I'm crying or about to cry. I can't even come to my own mother about giving up and moving away to the mountains or a cabin or just committing suicide with pain pills. But she doesn't think about that. She doesn't think that her constant neglecting me, is showing me, I can't trust her.

And that's exactly how I did Jay, and walked away.

I'm there for you, but you're not there for me?

I'm out.

And I'm tired of just giving and getting hurt in return because you don't care about the situation that I'm in, nor do you care to listen.

So don't get all I'm ready to come whoop yo.ass or call the police on me again, just because I didn't answer my phone. You hurt me momma, repeatedly and you show out every so.often and I'm tired of getting disappointed and crying by myself because you don't come check on me when I isolate myself from you in the house. My back hurts everytime she does that, cause she triggers a memory that I can't forget.

I could have hit my head, got a concussion, or even broke my neck if I didn't catch my fall and pushed you back, because you decides that night Kylee doesn't get to talk. You came at me yelling and pushing and thought that I would just take that fall down those metal basement steps for you and that everything would go back to normal the next day?

Like that fight you had with Dad just last week where you punched him in his nose, screaming and cussing at him over you being in pain and him not showing you enough care. So you hit him anyway, then he puts you in chokehold and me and my sisters are supposed to just forget that anything happened???

We have to process all the crazy, toxic shit yall do to us or in front of us BY OURRRSEELLLVESSSS

My lil sister is 18 and was trying to stop a 6'1 grown man from beating yo.ass up. And on top of that, the same grown man was pushing me back too on my own chest.

But we're supposed to just go back to normal, assemble the stage, make yall two feel happy after yall so called talked it our when literally 3 days ago, yall slept in different places, dad at his dead moms house in grand Rapids, you at a hotel.room for a different night, and him on the couch after he came back.

Whyyy the fuck are yall so damn passive about this shit, but if I bring it up or even ask about Grandma, my ass get handed to.

He's not fine. Yall are not okay. It shouldn't be imma put my hands on you just because you pissed me off and you're supposed to love me tomorrow, no matter how much I scar you or hurt your face.

Like brainwashing, forced brainwashing to accept that shit is okay. as long as i never say anything about it, I'm not in trouble or receive neglect.

Yall are the most manipulative people I ever met. And Dominos I want my $4 back too mf. Tip should come back too.

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tatemarkhams · 7 years

Text

code of kin

AO3

Summary: “You’re not thinking of tying your blankets together and climbing down your window, are you? Because I can save you some time and tell you now that that’s not gonna work.”

At the sound of Chloe’s voice, Adrien finally turned around. “It looked cool in the movies.” He shrugged, grinning like normal, like he hadn’t gone missing for more than 25 hours and had only been found less than an hour ago. “You’re supposed to be in school.”

And you were supposed to stay at home and not run away but we all do things we shouldn’t, don’t we?

(in which a mother is lost and a promise is made)

Chloé Bourgeois kept a list of all that she had lost in her life. Being the darling daughter of Paris meant that she had more than most people her age had – money, fame, the whole package of a glamorous life – but the amount of things she didn’t have outweighed it all. The recent addition to that open ended list was an unforeseen blow that landed on the wrong side of her metaphorical scales.

Her mother.

Her father’s attention.

Her endless queue of convenient (friends) acquaintances.

And now, Madame Agreste.

Even at the age of fourteen, Chloé had the art of suffering down to perfection – like everything she did (and because no less was expected of her). She would throw hissy fits and scream bloody murder over mismatched gold, but discovering that she was being used as a pawn for another one of his father’s political games warranted nothing from her but tight-lipped silence and steely gazes.

She was used to it.

But Adrien wasn’t. And Chloé wouldn’t ever want him to get used to it.

“The young master is not allowed to see visitors today.” A bulky, ape-like man that Chloé had never seen before barred the entrance to Adrien’s bedroom. His size alone was daunting enough, but the no-nonsense expression he wore made him almost threatening. Almost.

“I’m not a visitor. I’m Adrikins’ best friend. I practically grew up in this house.” Chloé rolled her eyes at him. She was definitely not in the mood for this, not now.

“I was instructed not to let anyone through.” The man rumbled, the muscles in his face barely moving. At this point, Chloé was wishing she had worn her rings so she could punch the daylights out of him and bolt through the door.

“I am not just anyone. Don’t you know who I am? You should learn it if you want to keep your job or maybe I should call Papa and make sure you never –“

“Mademoiselle Bourgeois,” Nathalie appeared at the end of the hallway, tucking that ever-present tablet under her arm as she approached them. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t harass our newly hired staff.”

Chloé frowned. She could probably count with one hand the number of people who were immune to her intimidation tactics and it just so happened that Nathalie Sancoeur was one of them. Unsurprisingly, Chloé didn’t like her very much and the feeling was mutual. “Tell him to let me in before I punch him in the face then.”

“Chloé,” Nathalie sighed, regarding her with an uncharacteristically worn-out and pleading look. “You were informed of Adrien’s safe return so you didn’t have to keep calling the mansion every hour. It wasn’t so you could come marching down here as soon as you were noted of his arrival.”

“Oh well, I’m sorry for thinking that Adrikins could use the company of someone who actually cared about him.” She allowed a bit of venom to seep into her words and saw something flicker behind Nathalie’s eyes. There were times she thought that Gabriel Agreste’s assistant may not be as heartless as she seemed.

“He wishes to be left alone.”

“He wants you to leave him alone. I’m sure if he knew that his concerned and loving best friend was here, he’d want to see me. ”

Nathalie said nothing. She only stared at Chloé as if she could will her to go away with her cold gaze.Too bad Chloé was just as good at giving death glares.

“We both know I’m not leaving until I see him so you might as well let me through this goddamn door before I start breaking something here.” Chloé took a step towards Nathalie who was still staring her down, calculating if it was worth the trouble and the possible damage to have a kicking and screaming teenager escorted out of the premises.

“Very well then.” Nathalie sighed in defeat, motioning for the ape-man to step away from the door. “He’s still not allowed to go outside his room. Monsieur Agreste’s orders.”

“Monsieur Agreste’s orders.” Chloé muttered under her breath as she stepped through the door. “What, is he running a prison around here?”

Adrien had his back to her, standing by the windows with his shoulders slouched as he stared at god-knows-what. He made no movement as the door shut behind Chloé, not even as she made her way across the room and plopped herself on his couch.

“You’re not thinking of tying your blankets together and climbing down your window, are you? Because I can save you some time and tell you now that that’s not gonna work.”

At the sound of Chloé’s voice, Adrien finally turned around. “It looked cool in the movies.” He shrugged, grinning like normal, like he hadn’t gone missing for more than 25 hours and had only been found less than an hour ago. “You’re supposed to be in school.”

And you were supposed to stay at home and not run away but we all do things we shouldn’t, don’t we?

She swallowed the bitter remark and propped her chin on her hands, batting her eyelashes at him instead. “Oh, Adrikins, I told you I’m the school’s sweetheart. Of course, they’d let me have a little break if I asked.” If asking meant disrupting an ongoing class by causing a scene and engaging her teacher in a screaming match until they let her go, then yes, she did ask. “By the way, since when was the gorilla part of your staff?”

“ Gorilla ?”

“The huge man by the door that looks like a gorilla? Tried to keep me from entering until I taught him a lesson and showed him just who he’s dealing with here.”

Adrien frowned at this. “Oh. He was part of the team Father hired to search for me. He’s also my bodyguard now that Father’s keeping a tighter leash on me so I won’t ever go that far again. Not like I’d want to, anyway.”

“I haven’t heard the exact details yet.” Chloé tilted her head up to look at him with curiosity. “How far did you go?”

“Compiègne, I think. The Gorilla found me sitting on some random park bench there.” Adrien dropped on the couch beside her, and Chloé was just a little pleased that he stuck with the nickname she gave her bodyguard. “I got there on foot from here. Father almost gasped when he heard. Aren’t you impressed?”

“Impressed? Annoyed is more like it.” Chloé scoffed, swinging her legs and resting them on Adrien’s lap as she stretched over the couch. “I’m getting tired just from listening to you talk about how much you walked. Seriously, Adrikins, what were you thinking?”

Any last bit of pretend amusement that Adrien held suddenly fell, replaced by a look of so much yearning and vulnerability that it was like a punch to Chloé’s gut. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I just…I really miss her.”

She knew this, of course. Chloé had never known the love of her mother but she had known the warmth of Adrien’s. She had dressed Chloé in pretty dresses and told her and Adrien stories of enchanted creatures and superheroes. It was Madame Agreste who cared for her when Chloé was only a child and her father was too busy building his political career to raise her himself.

More than her own mother’s (who Chloé only knew from her father’s stories), Madame Agreste’s disappearance had made it harder to keep up appearances and carry on like nothing was wrong with her. But she managed.

When she didn’t say a word, Adrien took a deep breath and met her eyes. “It’s been a week, Chloé. And I just couldn’t sit here like Father and do nothing. I didn’t know where to find her, I didn’t even know where to begin. All I knew was that I hated feeling useless here.”

“So your solution was to leave without a trace and disappear just like she did?”

Adrien flinched at her words but Chloé didn’t have it in her to feel regretful. “I-I didn’t think of it like that. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry any of you and cause trouble.” Then the look on his face was heartbreaking, and it was so wrong, so unjust of the world because Adrien, who was always nice and good, didn’t deserve to look like that now or ever.

Chloé exhaled. “Oh well, since I am so very kind, I suppose I can forgive you.” She kicked her leg up, nearly hitting Adrien square in the nose as she tried to sit up. Leaning on Adrien’s side, Chloé clung to his arm and looked up at him sweetly. “But only if you agree to a sleepover.”

“What? Right now?” Adrien blinked at her.

“Mhm.” Chloé hummed, reaching for the phone in her pocket. “I’ll call my butler and have my things sent over here. We can watch anime and you can do my hair and paint the nails on my right hand. It’ll be just like the old times.”

Adrien suddenly looked like he was miles away. “Just like the old times, huh?”

Neither of them mentioned the fact that the old times also consisted of Adrien’s mother assisting them on their pranks on Gabriel, building blanket forts with them, and tucking them both to bed. The knowledge of it already hung too heavy in the air without needing to be spoken of.

“Alright.” Bumping her knee with his, a smile formed on Adrien’s face – the first real one Chloé has seen since she arrived.

“Alright, then.”

In less than thirty minutes, every corner of Adrien’s room was cluttered with Chloé’s stuff – her pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, and a surprising amount of clothes for a one-night sleepover. It didn’t take much to convince Gabriel Agreste to let her stay overnight although he had never been much of a fan of hers. Chloé presumed there was some comfort in knowing his son at least wouldn’t try and run away again at night when he had a guest to entertain.

They watched anime, like she said. Some kind of magical girl show that Adrien absolutely adored and Chloé found silly. Then again it had always been her role to mock the absurdity and make loud commentary while Adrien shushed her and defended his shows.

“Why did I suggest this again? This is so dumb. Why would there be an egg inside their hearts?”

“Because you love me. And shush, Chloé, it’s their hopes and dreams!”

“They look the same with or without their costumes! How come no one ever recognizes them?”

“Don’t question it. It’s magic, Chlo. Magic.”

“It’s stupid is what it is.”

They sat together on the floor with their backs against the foot of the couch as Chloé tried to achieve some sense of normalcy by throwing a handful of popcorn at the TV during the cheesiest parts like she always did.

It was a good distraction. Even if it only lasted for a little while.

Much later, Chloé found herself taking advantage of Adrien’s indulgent mood by painting his nails the gaudiest color of nail polish she had – neon green so bright that they almost glowed in the dark. She was halfway through Adrien’s second hand when he wondered out loud, “Why do you think she left?”

She paused for a moment, seriously considering the question before going back to the task at hand. “My best guess? She realized how horrible your father’s hair was and ran for the hills before it contaminated her.”

“Chloé.” Adrien whined, wiggling the hand Chloé was painting. “I’m being serious.”

Glaring at him, Chloé smacked his hand to stay still. “So am I. You’re so lucky you have her hair. You’ll never have to look like you have the butt of a duck sticking out of your empty head.

That made Adrien laugh, at least. Then he went quiet again, going back to that dangerous train of thought and Chloé contemplated if breaking his fingers would make him stop thinking for a moment.“I guess I never thought she’d wake up one day and leave without so much as a goodbye. I always thought we were happy here, you know? Now I feel stupid for thinking that was going to last forever.”

She couldn’t help the sudden flare of hatred she felt for Adrien’s mother for leaving. Because how could she. How could she do this to Adrien.

It would have been fine if it was just her. She was aware of her own flaws – how selfish and cruel she could be to people. There was only so much she could get away with before the hand of the universe struck and punished her. And if her retribution was Madame Agreste leaving only her, she would have said nothing and suffered in silence. Because she would have deserved it.

But not Adrien. Because Adrien had a heart of gold and had been nothing but selfless and had only ever wanted to be with his family.

“Of course, it wasn’t going to last forever, you idiot. Because we’re going to grow up and get married and live happily ever after. Can you imagine how beautiful our children are going to be?” Chloé sang as she finished the last of Adrien’s nails, looking appreciatively at her handiwork from a distance.

“We’re fourteen!” Adrien exclaimed, taking his hand back to blow a breath on the wet nail polish. “And besides, you don’t even like me like that!”

“So? What does that matter?”

Adrien looked at her like she had just grown a second head. “It matters because you should marry someone you’re in love with.”

Chloé made a face at him, bluntly reminded that Adrien lived and breathed the romance movies he liked to watch. “Blech, whatever. I’ll convince you someday.”

With a drawn out sigh, Chloé collapsed beside him, taking one of the stuffed animals she brought and burying half of her face in it.

“Adrien?” Chloé spoke quietly without looking at him. Her eyes were somber as they stared up at the ceiling, and Adrien knew that whatever she was about to say next was going to be important. “Promise you won’t go looking for her on your own again. If you ever do plan on running away, I’ll go with you. But don’t leave me here alone, okay?”

Adrien watched Chloé hardly move, so dead serious and so not Chloé-like that it was almost comical. “Only if you don’t spend the whole way complaining about what the humidity does to your hair.”

“Please. You underestimate me.” Chloé huffed, waving a finger in his face and running her free hand down her hair to prove her point. “Not even the humidity can ruin my perfect hair.”

“Yeah, right. Bet you wouldn’t make it an hour without calling your dad and asking him to take you home.”

“Bet he wouldn’t even notice I was gone until I actually called for rescue.”

There was a long pause after that. Because this was their reality now. They were a couple of spoiled, rich, and unhappy kids stuck in shitty and hopeless family issues.

It was Adrien who broke the silence with one word. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Chloé asked, observing him from her peripheral vision.

“Yeah, I promise.” Adrien gave her an apologetic smile. “I promise I won’t run away again.” With that, Chloé felt the heavy weight lifted off of her chest because Adrien never ever broke his promises. And all she wanted from him was to not leave her like everyone else did.

“Good.” Chloé said, lying on her side so she could look at him properly. “Because I can’t be the left here as the only remaining incredible person in Paris. That’s too much pressure even for someone as fantastic as me.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t be the only one. What about your friend from school, Sabrina?” Adrien raised his eyebrows at her.

Chloé frowned. “Sabrina’s fine most of the time but all she does is agree with everything I say. That’s no fun.”

Adrien laughed to himself. “Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me, then. You can count on me to disagree with you all the time.”

“Not all the time!” Chloé glared at Adrien, taking out her frustrations on a stuffed animal by throwing it so far across the room that it hit the windows. “Agh, Marinette already does that and it’s so annoying! We don’t need more than one of her in this world!”

“Marinette?”

As if the very mention of the name grated on her nerves, Chloé’s eyes narrowed into slits. “Yeah, that girl from class that’s always contradicting all my best ideas just because they’re so much better than hers!”

“What best ideas?” Adrien was grinning cheekily at her.

Her annoyance shifting from the girl in her class to Adrien, Chloé kicked him lightly in the shin which only made Adrien laugh harder. “Adrikins, you’re a darling but I’m going to kick you off your own bed.”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Retreating to his side, Adrien turned over, mirroring the way Chloé rested on the bed. “Tell me more. About school. What’s it like?”

It was always something he asked her, but it used to be a question made in passing - just an idle wonderment for Adrien. It seemed much more now, the way he asked it with eagerness in his eyes like the experience was something he wanted to know firsthand.

She both dreaded and awaited the day that Adrien would attend public school. There was no doubt in her mind that he would love it - meeting new people, making friends, and maybe even homework because he was an absolute nerd.

But Chloé was selfish. She knew that the day Adrien started school could mean the possible end of their friendship, or at least the way there were now. It wasn’t only that she didn’t want to share him. It was that she knew she would drive him away because the way she was in school and the way the was when she was at the Agreste household were the worst and the best versions of Chloé Bourgeois respectively.

For now, she fed his curiosity by telling him stories of how everyone in her class loved her, and how she had been class president for three consecutive years, and how many gifts she gets every year from her classmates on Valentine’s Day.

Beside her, Adrien listened intently, hanging on to every word of her half-truths like it was his lifeline.

It was then that Chloé decided that she would be keeping that list of all that she’s lost in her life for a long time. It wasn’t a big deal. She was used to it, after all.

Her mother.

Her father’s attention.

Her endless queue of convenient acquaintances.

Madame Agreste.

Her list was open-ended, always awaiting the next addition to the record. But Chloé would fight heaven and hell to make sure Adrien Agreste never ever became a part of it.

#chloe bourgeois #adrien agreste #miraculous ladybug #ml fic #miraculousdaily #my stuff #so this is how i've been procrastinating #my acads are calling me now #CHLOE AND ADRIEN ARE MY BROTP AND I WILL GO DOWN WITH IT

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bang-me-bangtan-style · 7 years

Text

YOU MAKE ME BEGIN

Jung kook fanfic

word count 1.9k

(what if your an angel and you fell from heaven for a troublesome boy who needed you, him being Jung kook)

PROLOGUE

They say angels have dreams that can become reality, so once I started to see this boy in my dreams - I knew something was up. I couldn’t see his face but I could see his side profile and hear his voice sometimes. I knew he wasn’t from here and I knew that maybe one day I would meet him - I just didn't know when or how, or how many before him, or after him, until I would see him but what did know, the constant dreams were trying to tell me something.

And then the dreams changed one day; every day I would dream of myself falling continuously never hitting the ground. months after months from being frightening, I would have insomnia because I was so scared of one day I’d finally hitting the ground. I was so scared I was becoming sleep deprived, sick , and was becoming skinnier. I had my own personal hell. my own fear of sleeping.

Then one day this happened: I found myself falling and falling in my dream I could finally see what I was going to fall into and it wasn’t the ground. It was water and rocks. Earth, it was earth. I was hoping id wake up in cold sweats before I it but I didn’t. I finally hit the “ground” and I didn’t wake up. I wasn't in my room anymore I was laying on the big rock in the middle of the ocean. May I need to remind you heaven doesn't have oceans.

earth does.

It was my first time falling and dreams never became so real.

I finally fell from heaven.

But I had no clue why.

chapter 01

I woke up on a shore rock.Pain shot through my body as I felt like I went through hell and back. as I tried to figure out my surroundings In an Instant, a large wave casts me into the ocean. I heaved for air and my arms flung around. it was at that moment My wings had completely disappeared and I felt helpless and useless to myself.

I now was cast under the water and I was panicking I have never been to earth before now and I had no clue what to do without my wings. I was shaking and my lungs were filling with water causing them to reject it and make me cough into hissy fits when I'd roughly be pulled back into the surface.

so this is what drowning felt like I have heard about it before and never could imagine it from the various stories told. now that I was experiencing it now I couldn't ever erase it from my mind it was just as scary as the story were and how it was one of the most frightening things a human could experience.

Where was I and what on earth was I doing on earth?

literally?

I wasn't informed that I would be coming and the way I came. It was unoriginal, and it wasn't safe. it was out of the ordinary. I was hurting and I was just as scared as any normal human being would.

my nightmares and isonomia were warning me not scaring me. But that was least of worries right now my worries was death and my now fear of dying. angels didn't die? so why did I feel so lifeless?

They say when your angel the moment you step on earth you become human. To blend in with the locals and to not be at a risk of being found out. I had nothing to offer myself. I've never been a human before although others before I have. But I was pure. a pure angelic. I wasn't someone who was human and then became an angel under good circumstances. I was as pure as they get.

I had no way of telling myself what to do in a situation like this. I was going to die whether I wanted or not. I'd make my way back to heaven as if I was a failure.and have to start over my training again.

They don't teach this stuff in school I never learned how not to die.or maybe I never paid attention. Up above I was invincible. and chances for a pure breed like me to fall to earth was unlikely I was told getting sent to earth was unlikely. But here I am uneducated and practically dying also something I never thought would be likely.

I had made it to the surface in time to get some more air and cough up the least bit of water I could manage out. I was trying so hard and my tears were mixing with the saltwater.

Again my body was dragged under by the angry waves my advanced eyesight made me look all around and see nothing but water but 100 feet I could see the land so I wasn't far from shore. I just had to get there and keep my pace I had to go to swim to the top breath and vice versa.

Reaching the top again my ears perked up at the sound of a voice.

No two voices.

And then I went under again.

Was I close to shore now? Getting back up gasping for air I heard them again two males.

"Someone is drowning. "Someone yelled and then I went under again.

Although I did not know what dying felt like I knew what it felt like now. I could feel myself on the brink of death. and that's why I let go. i stopped fighting whatever mission a pure breed like me had. I was going to fail, die, be shamed for a high up person like me. failing before even starting. pure angelic’s don't fall for just anyone. this human must be very special or very troubled. and now I would never know. and they would have to suffer.

In an instant, I was pulled up from the water and I found myself clinging on to a boy with pale skin. I clung on to him for dear life and found myself in hysterics although the situation was over.

He kept cooing me to calm down and gave me some Of his, "it's going to be alright .” and “ you'll be okay I got you.” " but tell that to my anxiety and my now fear of water.

Ptsd man.i was going to have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

He got to shore the water level around our waist and he carried me bridal style the rest of the way and laid me on the sand. I noticed the rock and the cliff I was on some kilometres away and my eyes bugged out how far out I was to make it to the other side of the beach.

"Are you okay?" The boy beamed down at me his eyebrows knitting together. I was so out of it taking in my surroundings of earth that I barely heard a word he said.

"Hey." He snapped his fingers.

Another boy the one who didn't rescue me was really handsome and had full lips was very concerned.

"Jimin ottokae?" the boy dripping of water asked the other.

"Moleugess-eo, I don't know maybe she is just still in shock of almost drowning." He shrugged his shoulders "It's a good thing we took this route because no one would have found her if we didn't."

"I laid there on my back finally taking in the sky so that's what it looks like from the other side. Blue with clouds?

"Agassi, are you okay?it's going to be okay,"

"Should we call an ambulance? the dry handsome boy imputed.

Ambulance!

You should never go to the hospital or anywhere where they can check your pulse, they won't find it. Because your heart doesn't beat.

Even in human form?

No not even in human form.

I shot up from the sand startling both boys. "Andae "

“Gomabseuonida, gwenchanayo, I'll be on my way." Instantly Korean came out my mouth. I must have looked like a mad woman. why I held my mouth after the words came out.

Why?

because I didn't speak Korean. I never spoke it a day in my life.

Because I didn't know Korean. angels have their own Langauge. We definitely don't speak this language.

"Eodiae? Where are you from?" The boy whose hair was damp, "you have a weird accent"

Shit, where was I from, I knew nothing of the earth!

I ran fingers through my damp hair and found it quite more complicated than I initially thought it was gonna be to fit in. if I didn't die drowning. now I had kind of wished I had.

"Up north" I blurted out. Well, it wasn't a complete lie.

"Ahhh I see I forgot up north towards and around Pyongyang they have that kind of Korean accent. weird ones.

My name is "Jimin," the boy with blonde hair interrupted. He gave me a sheepish smile and I couldn't help but want to fall from heaven again but this time at his feet.

Why wasn't he an angel?

He would have fit in. Angels are 2x attractive than an average human, at least that's what Ive heard. But I think that was a lie. These two boys seem no different than us.

I turned my attention on the boy who saved my life he had dark brown hair and he was looked at me he seemed uncomfortable all of a sudden and shy.

"Nae, nae irumun Jung kook."

Ahhh

Jungkook?

I didn't look at him before and now that I have I couldn't take my eyes off him. The other boy was hot but he seemed more my type.

I gave a shy smile "I'm 54325," I held my hand out and crumbled it into a fist and slowly took it back. Shit, now they were looking at me crazy. Name I need a name! name yourself!

"I'm angel," wow couldn't be more obvious, could you? I scolded myself.

"Migook ileum?"

"Dae, American name," I said annoyed whatever America was.

"You're pretty," the boy named jimin blurted out. The dark hair boy Jung kook shot him a really look. I, however, didn't bat an eyelash and took it upon myself to start something I wanted him to finish.

" your hot to yourself,"

Jimin cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrows at Jung kook. Smirking at him.

"Come again?" jimin teased at Jungkook

Jungkook started to walk off.

"Jimin started to walk off but stopped and turned to me.” I know this is all a sudden but can I see you again?"

I tucked my wet hair behind my ear.

"Dae, " you said.

" what is your number?"

“Number?" I mumbled.

"Yeah like a cell phone."

“Handuphone?" I said

I didn't know what that was but I knew I didn't have it.

"Obsseo" I said

"Jinjja!! You don't have a handuphone?"

Main" I said embarrassed.and apologetic.

“Okay,” jimin smiled sheepishly. “how about we meet here again at the same time as today, or possible every day. That why I know you're still alive." He shyly said.

Time? I knew time. time was it was embedded in my brain. We could look around and see the sun how low it was and know the exact time.

Right now it was 2:33 pm

"alasseo,anyeong "

Jimin hesitated but eventually gave me a hug.

“Bye beautiful.”

I watched Jimin catch up with a Jung kook who looked annoyed.

Ahhhh jeongmal that boy Jung kook is something else. whats wrong with him? whats his story?

I turned around looking at the deserted empty stretched beach.

What now?

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tran5rightsos · 4 years

Text

You’ve Cut the Wrong Damn Wire - Chapter Eight

Tags and Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-Con

Word Count: 1631

Leave Kudos?

Calum trudged down the rows of headstones, the flowers in his arms bobbing gently in the sunlight as he pondered the fact that they didn’t know where they were going. Flowers didn’t plan for things like this. They didn’t grow from tiny seeds thinking about getting cut from their stems, wrapped in fancy paper and taken to cemeteries to rot over someone’s grave. Shit just happened to them.

Although he hadn’t been here since he got kicked out, Calum knew the path to his nan’s final resting place well. He used to visit at least monthly, usually when he was stressed about keeping his severe lack of straightness a secret. Looking back, he wondered if she’d suspected that he didn’t like girls, if she’d always been offering quiet support before he even knew that he needed it. As he laid the flowers down, he wondered if things would be different if she were still alive, if his parents would still talk to him, even if it was only over text.

As he made to leave, Calum noticed two men standing near some newer graves several rows away. He recognised Luke immediately, but the other guy was unfamiliar. It was hard to tell from so far away, but Luke looked almost angry. His expression cleared when he looked up and noticed Calum.

Holding up a hand in greeting, Calum wondered if it would be weird to say hi at a cemetery. He wouldn’t blame Luke if he wasn’t in the mood, but he did want to catch up at some point. He and Michael had barely spoken to him since Christmas and whenever Calum tried to make plans they claimed they were busy.

Fortunately, Luke said something to the man and started walking to him.

“Who was that?” Calum asked when he reached him, watching the guy stare at the grave in front of him for a moment before leaving.

“My uncle, Phil.”

“Didn’t know you had an uncle.”

“Me and Ethan used to live with him before…” He shuffled his feet and looked away.

“Sorry.”

As Phil got into his car, Luke stared at him, expression uncharacteristically unreadable.

“You okay?” Calum asked. Maybe they’d had an argument or something.

“I think he wants to...reconcile or something,” Luke said.

“Are you gonna let him?”

“Dunno.”

Calum nodded and looked at Nan’s grave. “Fair enough.”

“Who’s this?” Luke asked.

“My nan. She died when I was in primary school.”

“Sorry.”

“All good. Were you here to see Ethan?”

“Phil wanted to talk, so we met up at his grave,” Luke said.

“Good a place as any, I guess.”

“Yeah.”

Maybe Luke had been trying to make some kind of point to Phil, tell him that it was too late to say sorry or something, though Calum could only guess at all the shit Phil would have to apologise for. Luke had been miserable when he’d been living with him.

“How’s Michael?”

“He’s good. He missed his nan a lot when we were gone, so he’s happy to be spending time with her.”

Calum nodded. “So, uh…” He hesitated.

Luke looked at him.

“Did something happen at Christmas? I feel like we don’t see you guys anymore.”

Luke gave Calum a long look. “Michael just wants to be with his nan for as long as possible before she passes away. She’s been sick. Nothing against you.”

“Right, yeah no, of course.” Calum huffed a breath. “So it’s not something with him and Ash?”

“What d’you mean?”

“I think…” Calum looked away. “Ashton might be...cheating.”

Luke’s jaw dropped in surprise. “Seriously?”

“He’s been...different, you know?”

“And you reckon him and Michael…”

Calum looked at Luke. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to-” He fumbled for a way to save Luke’s feelings. “He might not be, I was probably just overanalysing shit, I don’t think Michael’s cheating on you.”

Luke looked surprised. “Me and Michael aren’t dating.”

“Oh.” Calum tried not to look too relieved.

“I love him to bits, but yeah, we’re not a thing. Neither are him and Ash. I would know if they were, he would’ve told me.”

“Oh.”

Well that was something, Calum supposed.

“Have you talked to him about it?”

Calum shook his head. “I guess I should, huh?”

Luke looked hesitant. “Won’t you just be hurt if he says he is?”

Calum stared. “What?”

Luke shrugged. “Maybe it’s better if you don’t know.”

That wasn’t the advice Calum was expecting. It was exactly what he already felt, but he knew that literally anyone would say he should try to communicate with Ashton and get his feelings out there. Anyone except Luke, apparently.

“You wanna get drinks with me?” Luke asked, “It’s getting late.”

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

Maybe it made sense that Luke would find the most non-confrontational option the most appealing. Calum would never ask, but from what he’d said at the cemetery, he suspected that Phil had been abusive. Luke was probably used to getting hurt for trying to talk things out. Maybe that was part of why he was so reluctant to open up about anything more personal than where he bought a nice shirt.

Even after a few more drinks than Calum had intended, Luke didn’t spill anything, choosing instead to gush about the time he and Michael went to a zoo and saw a lot of cute animals. Calum didn’t press him, he just smiled along and cooed at the photos Luke showed him. As much as he liked Luke, he didn’t really want to know too much about his personal life. A lot of it would likely be painful to hear.

Although it wasn’t very late when he got home, Ashton looked like he was about to freak out when Calum opened the door.

“Where the fuck you been?” he demanded, gripping Calum’s shoulders as his eyes raked over him.

“What the fuck, man, I was with Luke. Why are you throwing a hissy fit?”

“I thought something happened to you," Ashton said, surprising him with a tight hug, "Why were you with Luke?”

Calum pushed him away. “I saw him and his uncle at the cemetery and we got drinks.” He frowned. “Me and Luke. Not his uncle. Phil’s a prick.”

Ashton had deflated a little, but a hint of panic remained in his demeanour. “I’ve been texting you all-”

“I asked him if you were cheating on me.” Apparently he was finally drunk enough to have this conversation. He went to the couch and flopped down, checking his phone and realising he’d forgotten to turn it back on after leaving the cemetery.

Ashton followed him, but stayed standing. “What?”

“You and Michael were acting weird and I thought you might’ve been fucking behind my back and had a fight, but Luke says he’d know about it if you did, so I dunno what the fuck is going on with you but at least you aren’t dragging them into it, I guess.”

Ashton frowned and nudged Calum to sit up so he could sit next to him. “You think I’m cheating on you?” he asked softly.

“You don’t talk to me like you used to,” Calum mumbled, “And you keep staying out late and making shit up when I ask where you’ve been and taking weird trips and coming back acting normal again. And you’re different when we fuck.”

Ashton made to put a hand on Calum’s knee, but seemed to think better of it. “I would never cheat,” he promised, “I’m sorry you’ve had to think that I would do that to you.”

Calum frowned and crossed his arms. “You’ve been different,” he repeated.

“I'm sorry. I wish I was better, but…” He stared at his hands. “Sometimes I get scared that I might hurt you.”

“What d’you mean?”

Ashton swallowed. “Juvy was...really rough. I wanted to get better, but there was a lot that I needed that I didn’t get while I was there and I just...I didn’t completely recover from what happened.”

“When you assaulted someone,” Calum deadpanned.

“No, before that, I…” Ashton glanced at him. “I did that because he raped me.”

Calum’s heart stopped.

“And I lied about the assault charge,” Ashton continued, “I killed him.”

#au: wire #5sos fic #my fic

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