#He has a lot of belly potential but I require fellow to be in the pic as well

[oogieswife67]

@twistedtummies2 suggested this doodle since I hadn't really done Leona yet.

[kinemonsamuraiwano]

Ranking The Top 15 Strongest One Piece Characters

Ranking The Top 15 Strongest One Piece Characters 323 hours. That’s approximately how long it would take for someone to completely catch up to the ONE PIECE anime. When a show goes on for this long, it’s for a ton of different reasons. Innovative storytelling, creative world-building, and an engaging protagonist all play a role. However, one thing that makes ONE PIECE truly special is its cast of characters. Over the course of 20 years, creator Eiichiro Oda assembled a cast with over 1,000 characters in it. These characters cover a number of areas, but our focus now is their powers and abilities.

In the ONE PIECE universe, characters can eat something called a “devil fruit.” When this happens, they are granted a special ability. For example, when protagonist Monkey D. Luffy ate the gum-gum fruit, it gave him the properties of rubber. Luffy could stretch his limbs at will and was even immune to lightning damage and the sensation of pain. With so many characters possessing interesting abilities like this, it’s fun ruminating over who the strongest ONE PIECE character is.

Before we get into the list order, I want to talk about my ranking system. When creating this list, I envisioned the ONE PIECE universe as a giant battleground. The person ranked #1 here is, in my opinion, the last person who would be left standing on this battleground. The person ranked #2 would only lose to the person ranked #1, and so on and so forth. Also, we’re only including anime characters. Sorry manga readers, but you might not see your favorite character here or ranked to your liking.

So, without further ado, let’s get into the character rankings.

> Kefla is Coming to DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE 2!

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https://kinemonnn.wordpress.com/2021/05/20/one-piece-the-10-best-episodes/

  15. Caesar A lot of you might be surprised Caesar made this list at all. At this point in the ONE PIECE anime, Caesar is essentially a meme character. Luffy’s crew, and fellow pirate Capone “Gang” Bege, always belittle Caesar and call him a loser. Part of this is because his devil fruit power has been restrained for a while now, and he is at the mercy of other stronger characters. However, it wasn’t too long ago in the story that Caesar was the main antagonist of the Punk Hazard arc. People have forgotten exactly how dangerous this guy is, so let’s take a look back at his accolades.

Caesar ate the gas-gas logia fruit, making his body gas. A seemingly useless ability unless matched with genius intellect, and luckily, Caesar has that. He’s acute enough to recognize air is oxygen, a type of gas. As a result, he can physically manipulate the air around people. If Caesar wills it, he could cut off an opponents air-flow and kill them within minutes. It doesn’t matter how strong you are; that technique is impossible to block. Caesar’s also shown ingenuity with the simple castanet instrument. He fills this instrument with explosive powder, clamps them together, and uses his devil fruit powers to fan the flames throughout the air.

Caesar hatching another plan. | Image: Crunchyroll Caesar has many more abilities. However, he doesn’t do much fighting due to his cowardly nature. He goes to extreme measures to avoid fighting, but his devil fruit abilities alone earn him a spot on this list.

14. Trafalgar Law Coming in at #14 is one of ONE PIECE’s most popular characters, Trafalgar D. Water Law. It’s a superfluous name for sure, but the “surgeon of death” isn’t a person you want to make an enemy of. Like Luffy, Law is a member of the worst generation. He earned this title by committing countless heinous acts against the government and quickly accruing a bounty of 500,000,000 bellies (5,000,000 USD.)

Law is a ruthless individual equipped with the op-op fruit, nicknamed “the ultimate devil fruit.” With this fruit, Law can create a giant spatial sphere called the “room.” And within this room, Law can control anything he wants. It gives him an undeniable edge over anyone he can fit in this sphere.

Law traps a Navy soldier in his “room.” | Image: Crunchyroll However, Law’s biggest downfall is dealing with foes outside of his rooms. He’s adept with a blade, but not enough to stand up to skilled swordsmen like Mihawk or Zoro. His gamma knife ability, which destroys a person’s internal organs, is certainly powerful. But, it requires a lot of energy and is difficult to hit unless the person is trapped in his room.

Law has potential. There’s no doubt about it. But I ranked him low due to his a few weaknesses in his game.

13. Doflamingo Donquixote Doflamingo, more commonly referred to as Doffy, is one of the seven warlord’s of the sea. This elite group of pirates is so powerful the World Government in ONE PIECE actively turns a blind eye to their misdeeds. The power of these warlords range quite a bit, but make no mistake about it, Doffy is a force to be reckoned with.

He’s a towering specimen, standing over 10 feet tall with an overall imposing physique. He’s able to use the “color of armaments” Haki, a difficult technique that only skilled fighters can use. Doffy is also blessed with the Conqueror’s Haki ability, which only one in a million people can use. This ability can be used to defeat thousands of enemies at once without moving a single finger.

These abilities make Doffy a dangerous fighter, but he also has the string-string devil fruit to further augment his strength. It might sound like an underwhelming power, but these are no ordinary strings. They’re strong enough to support his tremendous size and weight, allowing him to use a make-shift flying technique. He can also use them as stitches to heal his internal/external injuries, and create copies of himself to fight. Last but not least, Doffy awakened his devil fruit power, allowing him to perform more advanced moves. For example, he can turn buildings into string simply by touching them.

Doffy manipulating others like puppets. | Image: Crunchyroll Doflamingo is extremely powerful and can hold his own against any character in the ONE PIECE universe. However, I believe he’d end up losing most hypothetical fights against everyone listed ahead of him.

12. Sabo Sabo is second-in-command of the Revolutionary Army. This organization directly challenges the corrupt officials of the World Government. It’s home to some of the most dangerous fighters in the world, and Sabo made them look like total chumps as a kid. He fought his way to the top of the organization, and as a teenager, is already strong enough to fight Navy admirals. His battle with Fujitora was brief, but people shouldn’t overlook the fact that Sabo stood on even ground with him.

> DARLING IN THE FRANXX: You Poor Darling

Arguably the most impressive part about their battle was that Sabo didn’t even have full control of his devil fruit yet. The flare-flare fruit is highly lauded for its destructive abilities and is the perfect fit for an anarchist. He recently acquired it earlier in the Dressrosa arc and was merely feeling out his abilities. He’s already shown the ability to use armament Haki as well, which will catapult his strength further.

As the story continues, Sabo will only continue to hone his abilities. He’ll be absolutely lethal when he finally fulfills his potential.

Sabo the Inheritor. | Image: Crunchyroll 

11. Kuzan Kuzan is one of the original three Navy admirals, although he eventually forfeits this position. He arrived rather early in the series while pursuing Luffy’s crewmate Robin. However, Kuzan had to go through Luffy first if he wanted any piece of Robin. Even though Luffy has taken down strong foes at this point, Kuzan made him look like an amateur. It’s not just Luffy though. Kuzan has taken down giants and even halted emperors with his combat prowess.

Since he’s above the rank of a vice-admiral, Kuzan can use armament Haki. He’s also gifted with the ice-ice logia devil fruit. He uses this fruit to control, create, and become ice. So to Kuzan, it doesn’t necessarily matter how big you are. He can freeze you. It doesn’t matter how far away you are. He can freeze the environment around you, or manifest his ice into projectiles to track you down.

Kuzan is every bit deserving of his admiral rank. He is strong enough to fight for ten days against Admiral Sakazuki, whose magma-magma fruit directly counters his. ONE PIECE fans up to date with the series will enjoy seeing how his uncertain future plays out.

Kuzan showing off his devil fruit powers. | Image: Crunchyroll 

10. Issho Issho joined the ONE PIECE cast of characters in the Dressrosa story arc. He replaced Kuzan’s position as a Navy admiral after he leaves his position. As a Navy admiral, Issho is one of the strongest fighters in the ONE PIECE universe. He mostly relies on two overall abilities when fighting.

The first is his devil fruit, which has yet to be named. It does, however, give Issho the ability to manipulate gravity. This lends Issho an advantage heading into any single fight. He can raise gravity levels so high that people can’t even stand up. Conversely, he can make objects have no density and manipulate them as he pleases. We saw his powers on a grand scale when he manipulated the density of a meteor and sent it hurdling towards Dressrosa.

The second is his Haki. Issho himself is blind but uses “color of the vision” Haki to accurately predict enemy attacks.

Overall, Issho is an absolute powerhouse. However, he is still blind. It’s an unfortunate, self-inflicted handicap that will hinder his efficacy on stronger opponents.

Issho preparing for combat. | Image: Crunchyroll

 9. Shanks Shanks’s combat abilities are a bit of a mystery. However, we know enough about him to give him a high ranking on this list. For starters, he’s one of the Four Emperors, making him one of the strongest pirate captains in the world. His power and reputation are highly feared, and we see this a couple of times throughout the series. For example, Admiral Sakazuki fought through many powerful people, even warlords, to get to Luffy in the Marineford arc. However, he didn’t even attempt to challenge Shanks when he arrived on the battleground. Even fellow emperor Big Mom noted she would have to form an alliance with Elbaf’s army of giants, which is famed as the strongest in the world, to have a chance at killing Shanks.

So, we know at one point that Shanks was an immensely powerful pirate. We don’t know, however, if he’s still a fighter of that caliber. Shanks lost an arm protecting Luffy when he was a child. He’s undoubtedly a weaker fighter, and even his friendly rival Mihawk questions if he’s still in any condition to fight.

When it comes down to it, Shanks’s pedigree alone earned him a spot on his list. However, the uncertainty of his current fighting condition places him in a mid-tier position.

Red-haired Shanks. | Image: Crunchyroll > MY LESBIAN EXPERIENCE WITH LONELINESS Doesn’t Shy Away from Suffering

8. Mihawk If you’ve noticed a trend on this list, it’s that almost everyone has eaten a devil fruit. Mihawk, however, has no such ability. What he lacks in this department, he more than makes up for in sheer power. Mihawk, aptly nicknamed “hawk-eyes,” is the world’s strongest swordsman. His swordplay is so great he can take down master swordsmen with a mere dagger and minimal effort.

He’s also advanced his abilities so far he can overcome any swordsman’s natural enemy: distance. Through sheer power, and possibly armament Haki, Mihawk can fire beam-like projections from his blade. These projectiles are so powerful they’re capable of cutting massive steel ships and even glaciers in half. With this kind of power, it’s no wonder only Shanks of the Four Emperors could match his swordplay.

“Hawk Eyes” Mihawk. | Image: Crunchyroll 

7. Borsalino Like Issho, Borsalino is one of the three Navy admirals. He’s a bit of an oddball, and honestly one of my least favorite characters. But, I have to give credit where it’s due, and there’s no denying how truly powerful Borsalino is.

He ate the glint-glint logia fruit, and gained the ability to create, control, and transform into light at will. Borsalino is capable of shooting laser beams from his hands, fingers, or feet (which are capable of causing massive explosions). He can also travel great distances almost instantly, and attack enemies in their blind spots. When you combine this with his armament Haki, Borsalino can take down powerful foes in a matter of seconds.

There aren’t many weaknesses in Borsalino’s game. You’ll be hardpressed to find people in the ONE PIECE universe capable of combating his agility and devil fruit abilities.

Borsalino leveling cities with tiny finger blasts. | Image: Crunchyroll 

6. Charlotte Linlin (Big Mom) Big Mom, the only female member of the Four Emperors, was first introduced in the Fishman Island arc. Luffy, in his typical brash nature, expressed his desire to kick her butt. We didn’t know much about her then but her insane power was revealed during the Whole Cake Island arc.

Big Mom, as her name might suggest, is an absolute behemoth of a person. She stands at 29 feet tall, and her body is so sturdy that she’s only been cut once in her whole life. Her power is off the charts as well. As a 5-year old child, she single-handedly defeated many of Elbaf’s strongest warriors.

Although she’s 68 years old now, people still fear her name. Showing your fear, however, is the last thing you want to do in front of Big Mom. Showing fear activates the condition of her soul-soul fruit, which allows her to freely interact with another person’s soul. She can remove years from a person’s lifespan, or kill them in one fell-swoop if she wants.

Big Mom’s only weakness is to those who aren’t afraid of her. It’s a big one though, as Navy admirals and new world pirates won’t be afraid of her. Her overwhelming strength, size, Haki, and use of Prometheus and Zeus are still enough to take down ONE PIECE’s mightiest foes.

Big Mom’s immense size measured against Germa 66. | Image: Crunchyroll

5. Whitebeard No list would be complete without Whitebeard. For a very long time, people considered Whitebeard the clear-cut favorite to be the new pirate king. The only reason as to why he never became the pirate king is because he found it rather low on his priority list. Nonetheless, he was unequivocally the strongest man in the world. Part of this was from the tremor-tremor fruit, but Whitebeard’s strength is deeper from that.

Like Luffy, Whitebeard gathered his strength from being hell-bent on protecting his friends. He took an excruciating amount of pain during the Marineford arc to defend these convictions. This includes 267 wounds (mostly from Navy admirals), 152 gun wounds, 46 cannon shots, a point-blank stabbing, and a fight against the entire Blackbeard pirate crew. It took all of this to bring down a 72-year old man.

Whitebeard standing tall. | Image: Crunchyroll 

4. Sakazuki Sakazuki is the current fleet admiral and replaced Sengoku after he stepped down. As such, he is the strongest military power in the world and is a one-man army of sorts. His magma-magma logia devil fruit is one of the strongest on record. It allows Sakazuki to control, create, and transform into magma at will and is even strong enough to burn fire.

The power that burns fire. | Image: Crunchyroll Above all else, Sakazuki is cunning, manipulative, and dangerous. So much so that Blackbeard of the Four Emperors fled on sight after hearing Sakazuki was aboard a Navy ship. Part of that is Blackbeard’s tendency to panic in the face of elite enemies, but it’s also great planning on his part. He recognized any encounter with Sakazuki would likely be drawn-out, and if he’s not careful, could result in his death. Sakazuki’s extremist ideologies also make him a formidable foe. He’ll fight to the end to protect his belief in absolute justice, and purging the world of “unclean pirate blood.”

Right now, Sakazuki is painted as the central antagonist of the series. The inevitable showdown between him and Luffy is likely years away but it’s something fans can’t wait to see.

> You HAVE to Check Out These 10 Summer Anime!

3. Monkey D. Luffy It’s about time we got to our beloved protagonist! Luffy has kicked up a storm everywhere he’s sailed to. At first, he didn’t have much more to his game than out-punching opponents. However, Luffy seriously stepped up in the Water 7 story arc. He honed the abilities of the gum-gum fruit and developed techniques likeGear 2nd and Gear 3rd. In the Dressrosa and Whole Cake Island arcs, he took things up a notch by developing and mastering his Gear 4 technique. Luffy also has the same Haki powers Doflamingo has, which theoretically qualifies him to fight the world’s strongest opponents.

Luffy activates his Gear 2nd technique. | Image: Crunchyroll And if that wasn’t enough, Luffy has limitless energy, and the gall to fight anyone regardless of their badass reputations. He won’t take anyone slandering his friends and has several lethal fighting techniques. However, arguably Luffy’s biggest strength, as noted by Mihawk, is his ability to draw people to him. Luffy has a penchant for turning doubters, haters, and immensely strong people into his close allies. His actions speak louder than words, and part of this is what makes him one of anime’s most fascinating protagonists to watch.

2. Magellan “Magellan is #2? Are you out of your mind?” This name might surprise a few at first, but let’s remember who we’re talking about here. First off, Magellan is endowed with the poison-poison fruit. This turns him into a toxic human, which is perfect for his career choice. Magellan is the chief warden at Impel Down, a prison home to the world’s most dangerous criminals.

Throughout this list, we’ve seen some amazing abilities. Magellan needs to be able to counter all of these should they ever be imprisoned at Impel Down. It just so happens that Magellan’s absurdly strong venom serves as the perfect neutralizer to any foe.

“Ruler of Hell” Magellan. | Image: Crunchyroll To Magellan, it doesn’t matter how strong you are. If you punch him, his poison will kill you within minutes. It doesn’t matter if you’re faster than him. He can manifest his poison into different shapes, like a hydra, to catch you as you run away. Magellan only needs a few drops of poison to kill you, making him incredibly dangerous. The only way someone could possibly beat Magellan is if they could nullify his devil fruit powers. This train of thought is the perfect segue into our number 1 slot.

1. Marshall D. Teach (Blackbeard) Maybe not a shocker, but come on. Let’s be honest here, Blackbeard is an absolute freak of nature, even by ONE PIECE standards. He’s a gargantuan human being (11 feet tall) and has a massive body. The latter allows him to store not one, but two devil fruit powers. This much potential power kills any other person foolish enough to try eating multiple devil fruits. Blackbeard, on the other hand, can balance his two devil fruit powers with no ill-effects.

Furthering his case for this #1 spot are his actual devil fruit powers. The first fruit he ate, the dark-dark fruit, is lauded as the strongest devil fruit ever recorded. It turns Blackbeard into a man of darkness, as he can literally manifest himself into dark matter. Furthermore, his devil fruit can temporarily nullify the abilities of other devil fruit users. To this extent, it doesn’t matter what awesome powers you might have, Blackbeard drowns everything in his darkness.

If, by some miracle, you can survive this ability, then you deal with Marshall’s second devil fruit, the tremor-tremor fruit. This gives him the ability to cause quakes. Blackbeard can cause earthquakes by slamming the ground, or by even punching the air and reverberating nearby objects. With all of these ludicrous abilities, it’s no wonder Blackbeard is the favorite to become the new pirate king. So move over Whitebeard. There’s a new favorite to become king of the pirates.

Blackbeard stating the obvious. | Image: Crunchyroll Only the Strong Survive in ONE PIECE As mentioned earlier, this list isn’t categorical. ONE PIECE has a near infinite cast of characters. As a result, one person might value a certain character higher than someone else. They might feel that Whitebeard is the strongest pirate, and there’s certainly a case for that. Germa 66, Marco, Vice-Admiral Garp, and Silvers Rayleigh all make legitimate cases to be on this list too. But, at the end of the day, it’s all fun and speculation. Even so, I’d love to hear your opinions about who the strongest ONE PIECE character really is.

Comment below with your personal rankings, and let me hear your opinions!

Featured Image Courtesy of Crunchyroll.com

> Celebrating 30 Years of AKIRA: The Film That Forever Changed Anime

[theshatteredrose]

Code Yellow Conspiracy - Etrian Odyssey Nexus Oneshot

Title: Code Yellow Conspiracy

Summary: What exactly is Code Yellow? Oracle was going to find out.

Pairings: None

Warnings: The mentioning of spiked and drugged drinks, but it is most certainly not a positive thing

AN: I thought to myself “I really should start a book of oneshots for Nexus because I have a lot to write about” and then I thought to myself “Yes, I’ll do that now because what’s one more open project to panic over?”. So, here we are. Boys being cute with other boys is very therapeutic for me. So, enjoy :’D

Ao3 | Wattpad | Inkitt | FF.Net

~*~*~*~*~

“Would someone mind taking this…fine gentleman to the hospital, please? It’s a Code Yellow.”

Oracle paid little attention to the request. Drunkard and stupid, that person, whoever they were, were of little consequence to him. Though, he had to admit that he was curious as to what a Code Yellow was. Hospital jargon, of course, but there had been a few such cases in recent days.

“You sure he’s ok? He was just talking before he just keeled over on me.”

Hearing Drayce’s voice was what pulled Oracle’s attention from the book he had been deciphering. He glanced over to where the redheaded dragoon stood with Lynus. The violet-eyed medic appeared to be reassuring Drayce, placing his hand comfortingly on his arm and speaking with him quietly. His expression remained placid, even as two guardsmen began to haphazardly pick up an unknown bar patron that was slumped face first upon the table next to the two.

“Don’t worry, the hospital visit is just a precaution. I’m sure it’s nothing more than excessive alcohol consumption.” Professional and courteous. And yet, there was something else hidden in the tone of Lynus’ voice.

“That’s the third time someone collapsed on me, though,” Drayce continued with his concern with a frown. “What-?”

“Don’t go blaming yourself,” Lynus immediately interrupted, softly yet firmly. “It may be that they can’t handle their alcohol. I’ll speak with Cass about perhaps lowering the alcohol content.”

Drayce didn’t look wholly convinced, but he nodded his head in acceptance regardless. “Ok. You’re probably right.”

Lynus gave his arm another reassuring squeeze before he turned away and moved toward the hapless stranger. Likely wishing to inspect him one last time before he was taken to hospital. Drayce watched the scene for a moment before he sighed, shook his head in annoyance and moved away.

Oracle idly closed the book he was reading as Drayce sat down at the table with him, his expression contorted into a look of confusion and frustration. “Another Code Yellow with me nearby. I’m starting to think I’m curse or something,” he complained.

Oracle allowed his gaze to flicker back toward the seemingly unconscious stranger as they were literally carried out of the bar by two guards in full armour. One holding him by the armpits, the other by the ankles. Not a comfortable position and if the stranger was truly in an emergency state, he was certain that one of the many medics would have intervened.

Lynus especially, with his innate skills to detect a person’s status clear across the room. Yet, he didn’t. Most curiously, he was the one that had made the request.

“I don’t even know what Code Yellow means,” Drayce lamented, prompting Oracle to turn his gaze toward him once more. “No one would tell me. It’s just hospital jargon, they tell me. I just can’t help but think it’s something more to it.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know either,” Oracle confessed.

Drayce folded his arms atop of the table and rested his chin upon his forearms, an annoyed little pout on his lips. “I’ve asked Lynus, Fiorello, Simon, Darrell, and even Owyn, but they all tell me it’s just jargon for someone who has drank too much or has an adverse reaction to alcohol. But I’ve seen others who are clearly intoxicated and blind-out drunk, and they’re never referred to as Code Yellow. It’s got to be something else.”

A small smile of amusement spread across Oracle’s lips. Trust a treasure hunter to pick up the small details. “Must be a conspiracy.”

Drayce huffed out a breath that pushed aside a strand of his red hair. “Nah. I’m sure it’s not done in malice. But it is bugging the hell out of me.”

“I imagine it would.” Treasure hunters were a notorious for their nosiness, after all. “Well, perhaps I should ask around.”

Drayce looked up at him in surprise as Oracle placed his hands atop of the table and pushed himself to his feet. He soon smiled, however, a rather cheeky and knowing grin. “Ah, you’re insatiably curious, too?”

Oracle picked up his book and slipped it into pocket of his jacket. “Indeed. With all the secrecy, it must be quite an interesting tale somewhere involved.”

“Be sure to tell me what you learnt, ok?”

“Of course.”

With that, Oracle turned away from the table and cast his gaze around the Stickleback Mk2. Lynus was nowhere in sight, perhaps having decided to follow the stranger to the hospital to ensure their treatment. But perhaps he wasn’t the best person to ask about the secret meaning behind the mysterious Code Yellow. He was far too nice, too careful with his words. Anything and everything that could potentially frighten or concern someone would be said with perfectly chosen sentences and words.

Oracle didn’t have time for that. He wanted the blatant truth. Something that Isiah was quite comfortable with himself. Alas, he wasn’t within sight either. But another medic was. Darrell. He was rather blunt himself at times. He’d do.

“Ah, Darrell, a moment of your time?” Oracle requested as he walked over to where the redhead medic stood at the bar, scribbling something down on a small notebook.

Darrell raised his head only slightly, peering over his thin-framed glasses at him. “Need something?”

“Code Yellow. What is it?” Blunt answers require blunt questions.

Darrell rested against the bar casually as he inspected him with his eyes for a moment. “I’d tell you the truth, but there’s a few innocents I don’t want to worry,” he unexpectedly replied.

Oh? Quite curious.

“Shall we go for a walk then?”

Darrell quickly shoved his notebook into the breast pocket of his medical jacket and nodded. “Sure, why not? Doesn’t hurt to have more eagle eyes, as it were.”

Hm? He was hoping to recruit Oracle for something? Even more curious.

Without another word the two unlikely companions headed out of the bar and toward a quiet and rather secluded park area located several blocks away from the bar. It was a small place, a rather futile attempt at placing some greenery amongst the sturdy buildings and steel reinforcements.

“Is this efficient?” Oracle asked as they reached a quiet picnic area that was devoid of any souls.

Darrell glanced around almost suspiciously before he plopped himself down upon the wooden park bench and lounged casually. “Code Yellow, huh? Why do you want to know?”

“Curiosity,” Oracle answered honestly as he sat down next to him.

“It’s short for yellow-bellied,” he explained unexpectedly and bluntly, just as Oracle had hoped. “It’s for those who use easily accessible status potions and tonics meant for monster battles and use them against their fellow explorers.”

It took Oracle a moment to fully register what he had said, what he insinuated before he bristled. “They’re spiking and poisoning drinks?”

Darrell nodded. “Yep. For experimentation and for…well, I’m sure you know what the other, main reason is.”

Indeed. Oracle felt the immense desire to burn something. Or rather, someone. Someone who had been issued with a Code Yellow only recently.

“Code Green are for victims of those who would qualify as Code Yellows,” Darrell explained further.

“Are code words necessary?”

Darrell nodded as he stretched his legs out in front of him. “We’ve often wonder that, but we know that revealing the truth would only cause others to panic, worry, and become jumpy. The last thing this place needs is a bunch of jumpy explorers eying each other with suspicion. And it may cause those with ill intentions to change their methods. This way, we have them unguarded and at our disposal. Degenerates will always find a way to be degenerate.”

Unfortunately, that was true.

“What happens to them at the hospital?”

An almost sadistic grin slipped across Darrell’s lips as his eyes gazed vacantly into space. “Stuff.”

Oracle frowned. “I want details.”

“Best for you to witness yourself. Only if you promise not to tell anyone else what I told you.”

Ah. Poor Drayce. Looked like he wasn’t going to learn the truth today, either.

“Very well. I imagine this stuff is rightly painful,” Oracle commented. “Though, I’m surprised that Lynus willingly travelled to the hospital along with the Code Yellow victim.”

Darrell shook himself from his thousand-yard stare. “Lynus is usually the one who makes the call. And he has a hundred percent accuracy rate.”

Lynus’ empathetic abilities were likely very useful in that regard. Anyone who dared to poison or drug another person’s drink did so with pure malice in mind. He’d likely sensed their attentions long before anything was initiated. “Oh? Do tell.”

Darrell grinned as if recalling a memory. “Given the opportunity, he would purposely swap the contaminated drinks with the perp and then idly stand by until they experience full effects of their own drugs.”

Oracle honestly hadn’t expected that. “I must admit, I find that surprising.”

“Nah, not really,” Darrell said nonchalantly. “Lynus is equally protective, just not as up-front about it, like Axel. Or violent like Tobyn. Everyone of the Guardians is protective. He’s just more passive about it. Giving them a taste of their own medicine, as it were.”

“Well well, seems Precious Medic is more intriguing than it first appears.” Sarcasm was heavy in Oracle’s voice, but in truth he was quite fascinating by the reveal.

“That’s why he’s always prowling the place whenever he visits,” Darrell explained before he hefted himself to his feet and turned to stare down at Oracle. “Now, keep this to yourself, remember? And I’ll allow you access to certain Code Yellow cases.”

Certain cases? Did that mean…?

“Jaxen is a usual target, isn’t he?”

“And Kardos, believe it or not.”

Oracle bristled violently. “You have yourself a deal.”

Darrell made a sound that was a half snort, half laugh. “Well, I better get back. With Lynus away, I need to keep an eye on the place.”

“Indeed. I best get back, too,” Oracle said as he pushed himself to his feet. His protective hackles were still raised, but he consoled himself with the fact that he had never heard the words Code Green used to describe the treatment for anyone of his extended guild, let alone his own.

But god help anyone who dared to put his guildmates in such a state.

The trek back to the bar was a quiet one and as soon as they reached the interior of the bar, Darrell went on the prowl, focusing in on areas of explorers he did not know or recognise. And Oracle himself scanned the area with an air of suspicion. His gaze soon focused in on Drayce, however, as he spoke with Cass behind the bar. Likely questioning him about what Code Yellow was as the brawny man himself had issued the statement often.

Oracle walked over to him and took him by the elbow, abruptly pulling him away from the bar so that they could speak in somewhat privacy. “I’ve spoken to Darrell,” he said simply as the dragoon have gifted him a look of pure confusion.

Drayce perked up. “Did he tell you?”

“Indeed he did, but I’m not telling you.”

“What? Why?” Drayce practically whined, frustration evident.

Oracle planted a hand on the dragoon’s shoulder and looked sternly into his eyes, startling him greatly. “It’s for your benefit. The secrecy behind the code isn’t malicious, but those who obtain such a code is.”

A crinkle appeared in Drayce’s brow. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s not something you need to worry about. Just don’t go accepting drinks from strangers, ok?”

Drayce had absolutely no idea what was going on, or even how to respond. “Ah, ok?”

Oracle nodded his head and folded his arms into the sleeves of his purple robes. “Now, you must excuse me; there’s something I wish to witness at the hospital. This should be both educational and amusing.”

And quite entertaining.

[heauxplesslydevoted]

The Two Sides of Dr. Ramsey (Ethan Ramsey x f!MC)

Summary: A group of interns are introduced to the surprisingly soft side of Ethan Ramsey

Warnings: None

Tag List: @x-kyne-x @paulfwesley @ramseyandrys @choicesobsessedd @a-i-n-a-a-s-h​ @sparklinglilac  @cream-ray @perriewinklenerdie @barricades-of-freedom @dr-brianna-casey-valentine

So I got the inspiration for this from the lovely @hatescapsicum and their post. It ended up being a lot longer than I anticipated, but whatever As always, enjoy!

~~/~~

“You. What’s your name?”

The young intern looks up and sees Dr. Ethan Ramsey all but glaring at her. She gulps. She knows she's screwed. Big time.

“M-me?”

“Obviously, you. I’m talking to you. What’s your name?” Ethan asks again.

“Dr. Miranda Brown.”

“Well, Dr. Brown, can you please explain to me why your patient’s wife is threatening to sue this hospital?”

Miranda stammers, afraid of saying the wrong thing and further ingraining herself in Dr. Ramsey’s wrath. She turns to her partner, and fellow intern, Dr. Anderson, hoping for some backup.

“Don’t look at her, she can’t answer for you. You’re the one who made the call, you’re the one who needs to explain herself.”

So, Miranda messed up. Okay, she totally fucked up. She accidentally gave a patient the wrong medication and he had an allergic reaction.

“I gave the patient the wrong medication,” Miranda mumbles, looking at her shoes. She’s too afraid to look him in the eye. 

“And how does one manage to give their patient the wrong medication?” Ethan prods.

“I didn’t check the chart.”

“You didn’t check the chart.” Ethan pinches the bridge of his nose. “You just ran into his room, guns blazing, hoping to spring into action and look heroic. Looking at a patient’s chart is literally the first thing you are supposed to do when you take on a patient and enter their room. Did you not learn that in medical school because I’m sure it’s one of the first things you’re taught. But at the same time, it is plain common sense and you shouldn’t have to be taught to do the absolute bare minimum.”

“I’m sorry. It was a mistake, everything was happening so fast, I just–”

“Its a hospital, Dr. Brown,” Ethan interjects. “Things happen fast around here, and if you can’t keep up, you don’t deserve to be here. If you make another mistake as asinine as this one, I will have you–”

“Dr. Ramsey!” Another voice cuts in and Miranda looks up. It’s a resident, Dr. Naomi Valentine. She puts her hand on Ethan’s forearm, and he lets out a soft sigh.

Ethan’s wrath is instantly tamed and he turns to the younger doctor. Miranda notices the shift in energy, but she doesn’t press the issue. She notices Dr. Valentine is sporting a small baby bump. She couldn’t be more than 4 months along. Figures. Even Dr.Ramsey wouldn’t yell at a pregnant woman. “What is it, Rookie?”

Naomi points down the long hallway. “Dr. Banerji needs to see you in his office. He said it’s urgent.”

Ethan scans her entire face, before his eyes travel down the rest of her. “Naveen didn’t page me.”

“Well I was just in his office, and I told him I’d relay the message.”

“Did he at least tell you what he wants?���

Naomi shakes her head. “No. Just told me to tell you that he requests your presence.”

“Alright. Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Naomi watches as Ethan stalks off, mumbling under his breath as he leaves. Once he’s gone, she turns back to the two interns. “Between is three, Dr. Banerji doesn’t want him. I just saw him ripping you a new one, and had to break in.”

“Won’t he get mad at you for lying?”

Naomi dismisses the question with a flick of her wrist. “I can handle him.”

“Thank you for the save, Dr. Valentine.”

“Are you okay?” Naomi asks. “You’re Dr. Trinh’s interns, right?”

“Yeah.” Miranda bites her lip, hard, in an attempt to not cry. “He’s just such...an ass!” Naomi giggles at the insult. “I messed up, but that doesn’t give him the right to be such a jerk to me! Accosting me like this in public is humiliating. It’s like he gets off on being an asshole.”

“I get it. On my first day at this hospital, Dr. Ramsey completely tore me to shreds. And he continued to do so for what felt like forever.”

“How did you manage?”

“I’m stubborn,” Naomi answers “I eventually wore him down.”

“Do you have super powers or something?”

“I wish. Things would’ve been a lot easier if I did. But trust me, Ethan’s bark is worse than his bite. He’s a great doctor who truly cares about his patients and this hospital, and he really wants everyone here to be their very best. Just do your best, and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you feel overwhelmed or lost. He’d gladly help.”

Miranda scoffs. “I seriously doubt that.”

“Look, no one had a worse intern year than me, but I survived, and Dr. Ramsey turned out to be one of my strongest allies when things got too tough.”

“What happened during your intern year?”

“It’s a long story that I’m sure anyone in this hospital would love gossiping with you about. The point I want you to take away from this is that you’re human.” Naomi digs into her coat and pulls out a small pack of tissues. She hands them over to Dr. Brown. “You’re going to mess up, you’re going to feel overwhelmed, you’re going to want to quit, and that’s all perfectly fine. This is really a one day at a time sort of situation, and as long as you’re giving 100 percent, there’s nothing else you can do.”

Miranda dabs the corners of her eyes with the tissue. “Thank you, Dr. Valentine.”

“There’s no need to thank me, I was in your shoes a few years ago. Now shake it off and keep moving, and don’t let him get you down.”

“Easier said than done.”

“But it can be done.”

~~/~~

It’s a few hours later when Naomi manages to slip into Ethan’s office. He’s quietly reading a book, his glasses dangling off the slope of his nose.

“Hi, Rookie,” he casually greets, not evening looking up.

“How did you know it was me? You didn’t even look up.”

“No one else in this hospital would dare enter my office without knocking,” Ethan replies.

“What’s yours in mine, baby. That’s how this marriage thing works, right?”

“I suppose so. Do I get to your cramped locker in the residents’ lounge?”

“I know you’re being sarcastic, but yes I would gladly share my locker with you.” Naomi walks behind Ethan’s leather chair and wraps her arms around his check. She drops a kiss onto his cheek. “How has your day been?”

“Long. Tiring.”

“Well, it’s almost over, we have one more hour,” Naomi says, always trying to be an optimist. She grabs onto Ethan’s shoulders, gently massaging them. “You’re so tense.”

“Don’t think a massage will make me forget that you sent me on a wild goose chase earlier. When I finally managed to track down Naveen, he said that there was no urgent message for me.”

“Busted.”

“Yes, you are busted.”

“Well I had to do something, Dr. Grumpy, you were going to rip that poor girl’s head off of her shoulders.”

“That ‘poor girl’ as you put it, gave her patient aspirin. If she would’ve checked his chart, she would’ve seen that he has a severe allergy. He went into anaphylaxis, and could’ve died.”

“But he didn’t.”

“He should have never been put into that situation in the first place, Naomi.”

She knows he’s serious because he actually used her first name, a rare occurrence. “True. And yes, she needs to learn, but I think you could’ve handled the situation better. That’s Sienna’s intern, did you at least tell her what happened?”

“No.”

“Sienna needs to know. And whether you like it or not, Edenbrook is a teaching hospital, and teaching requires patience. You really should dial it back with the intensity. These doctors aren’t going to live up to their potential if they have a boss who doesn’t believe in them.”

“This is a hospital. We are faced with stressful, life or death situations every single day. I don’t have time to coddle everyone, nor do I want to. You survived my teaching style just fine.”

“True, but I’m ridiculously stubborn, and I’ve never been afraid to argue or challenge you. Not everyone is like me.” Ethan mutters something under his breath that she doesn’t quite catch. She spins the chair around so Ethan’s looking at her. “If our baby made a mistake, would you publicly yell at and humiliate them?”

“What? Of course not!”

“But you yell at everyone else.”

“That’s different.” Ethan reaches out and gently touches Naomi’s growing belly. “This is our baby, they’re grown adults who know better.”

“These interns are no different than our future child. They’re human, they’re going to mess up, fall down, and make huge messes. And as their teachers, we’re going to have to be there for them, with a little patience and understanding.”

Ethan goes silent for a while, letting his wife’s words sink in. He grabs her hand and pulls her in closer, until she’s sitting on his lap. “You’re...right.”

“Of course I am. I’m the brains of this relationship, it’s why you married me.”

Ethan chuckles and kisses Naomi’s neck. “I definitely didn’t marry you for your humility.”

“So you’ll apologize to Dr. Brown?” Ethan ignores the question, opting to instead place more kisses on the column of Naomi’s neck. “Ethan?”

“Yes, dear, I will apologize.”

“Thank you.”

“Now do you want to talk some more, or can I keep kissing you?”

“Careful, this is what got me pregnant in the first place.”

Ethan smiles fondly at the mention of her pregnancy. “And how is our little peanut doing today?”

“They’re good. They’re making me feel fat today. I’m wearing one of your scrub tops.”

Ethan takes the tips of her fingers and kisses them. “You’re still beautiful.”

“And as my husband, you’re obligated to say that.”

“It’s the truth. You’re still as gorgeous as ever, even more so now that you’re growing our baby.”

“Sweet talker. Well since you’re the one who got me pregnant, you’re going to buy me a donut from the cafeteria.”

“I can live with that compromise, Missus Ramsey.”

The couple makes their way down to the main floor where the cafeteria was. Naomi wanders off to the vending machine in search of a drink, while Ethan stands in line for her pastry.

“Hello, Dr. Ramsey.”

Ethan perks up at the sound of his name. He turns around and sees that it’s Miranda, standing in line with a few of her fellow interns. “Dr. Brown.”

“I just wanted to say sorry for what happened earlier. It was a bad mistake, and it will never happen again.”

“There’s no need to apologize to me. Just apologize to the patient and his family, and let this be a learning opportunity.”

Miranda nods. “Of course.”

“In fact, I’m the one who owes you an apology,” Ethan admits. “I was out of line in the way I handled the situation. Yelling and berating you in front of your peers was inappropriate. I apologize.”

Miranda is stunned into silence. Ethan Ramsey is apologizing? To her? “Thank you! Apology accepted.”

Naomi walks back over to where Ethan is standing, a slight frown on her face. “The vending machine ate my dollar, so we need to tell Naveen that I need reimbursement.”

Ethan rolls his eyes. “I’ll give you a dollar. There’s no need to bother Naveen.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Well what were you trying to get out of the vending machine?”

“Fruit punch.”

“With your donut?” Ethan crinkles his nose in disgust at the combination. “That doesn’t sound appetizing at all. Wouldn’t you rather have milk? Or hot chocolate?”

“Your baby wants fruit punch,” Naomi insists, a hand cradling her stomach.

“We can go to the grocery store on the way home, and I’ll get you an entire 24 pack,” Ethan suggests as they move forward in line. “You can keep them in my office.”

“It’s not the same,” Naomi repeats. “And I’ll still be out of a dollar.”

“You and these pregnancy hormones.”

Naomi raises an eyebrow at her husband, almost as if she’s daring him to say something stupid. “And what about them?”

“Nothing.”

“So we’re going to go to Naveen’s office so I can get my dollar, and then you can buy me an entire case of fruit punch.”

“Sure.” Ethan knows this is a battle he won’t win, so he relents. Besides, he’s never been good at denying her whatever she wants. “Whatever you want, Rookie.”

Naomi slips her hand into Ethan’s and smiles up at him. “Thank you.”

Ethan lifts their joined hands and kisses her knuckles. “You’re welcome.”

Miranda watches the scene unfold, dumbfounded. She turns to her friends who are just as confused as she is. Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Valentine are a thing? And they’re having a baby? 

“You guys are together?” Miranda blurts out. The questions flies out of her mouth so fast, she doesn’t even have time to stop herself.

Naomi and Ethan look back at her, finally coming out of their own little solipsistic bubble. Naomi nods. “Been married for 6 months now.”

“Married?” Miranda looks down and sure enough, Ethan is sporting a platinum Cartier wedding band on his left ring finger. But Naomi isn’t. “You don’t have a ring.”

“I do, actually. This pregnancy is making me swell like crazy, so I can’t wear it right now.”

“You didn’t change your last name?”

“It was getting confusing when people would ask for a certain Dr. Ramsey, and the other would come, so everyone still calls me Dr. Valentine,” Naomi explains with a shrug.

Miranda feels her face heat up. She called Ethan an asshole and a jerk, to his wife! In that moment, she wants the earth to open up and swallow her. “I had no idea.”

“We aren’t shouting it from the rooftops,” Ethan says with a shrug. “This is a hospital, we’re professionals with jobs to do, but it’s no secret.”

“Of course! I didn’t mean it like–I don’t...I didn’t know,” Miranda says. This feels like a mind fuck. She never pictured that Ethan Ramsey would be happily married, especially to someone as nice as Dr. Valentine. “I’ll just shut up now.”

“Smart choice.” Ethan quickly orders a chocolate sprinkle donut for his wife and pays. “See you all tomorrow.”

Ethan and Naomi get out of line and move away from the shocked group of interns.

“Well that entire experience was...mind boggling,” Miranda says after a minute of silence.

“Dude, who would’ve thought that Dr. Ramsey was–“

“Capable of expressing human emotions other than rage?”

“Married?”

“So fucking whipped!”

“He’s not whipped, doofus. He’s a grown man in love. But you wouldn’t know anything about that, Vasquez.”

“He’s whipped,” the young intern repeats. “Whipped like spreadable butter. He completely folded like a lawn chair when it comes to Dr. Valentine.”

“Ahem.” Someone obnoxiously clears their throat behind them, and they all turn around. It was Ethan, glaring at them.

“Dr. Ramsey! We were just–”

“You.” Ethan points to the intern who was talking about him. “You’re on the graveyard shift for the rest of the week.”

“But I–”

“Never mind, let’s make it the next two weeks,” Ethan adds. “And anyone else who would like to make comments about me can join him.” When no one else speaks, Ethan smirks. “That’s what I thought. Have a nice nice, everyone. While your friend here is spending his keeping the janitors and the insomniacs company, my whipped ass will be spending it with my beautiful wife.”

[randomoranges]

amnesia part 155

Following his sister’s advice, Étienne tried to determine which type of pet he’d prefer. Each one had its own set of pros and cons; a cat would be nice, quiet and wouldn’t require as much of his attention, or at least, he wouldn’t necessarily have to let it out for walks, but that was where he leaned more towards a dog. He felt that having a dog would push him to get out of his apartment and get some fresh air. He knew of his tendencies and feared that he would revert back to locking himself up in his apartment and so figured a dog would be a better option. It would also get him to exercise and that at the very least would help his leg.

However, before he went along with this grand idea of his, he did check in with Dre. Labonté to make sure he wasn’t getting in over his head. She encouraged him to go for it and told him it was actually something she wanted to run by him, over their next session and Étienne felt better about the idea. She suggested he think about what type of dog he wanted, including the age, and to read up on the breeds before settling. She gave him a list of various animal shelters around where he lived, including other resources that may be of help and Étienne found his first few days back to be quite busy.

Eventually, after about a week or so, he had gathered enough information, had made his selection, and had been put in contact through one of the resources Dre. Labonté had given him – a local shelter that did outreach programs with dogs and such. The only problem was that they were out of the city and so, Étienne had called up Emma to ask if she wanted to go on a road trip with him to potentially meet his future dog.

Emma had nearly lost it, very excited at the prospect of him getting a dog and they agreed to go on Saturday, once Étienne made sure that the shelter they were going to was all right with that. Étienne had at least exchanged more than a dozen emails and phone calls with them, had done as many background checks on them as possible, had been sent videos and photos and he had agreed that he was only going to see the dogs. Nothing more.

To be honest, he was a little nervous. This felt like a big step and he was afraid he would mess it up or that something would go wrong. Emma reassured him that he didn’t need to commit right away and that he didn’t have to settle if it didn’t feel right. He could always keep looking.

The person whom Étienne had been in contact with, Léo, a tall fellow with an easy smile who immediately put Étienne at ease greeted them at the door when they arrived. Once the three of them had exchanged pleasantries, he led them to the back area of the property, to a large playpen of sorts, where the dogs Étienne was interested in were.

There were three in total, each different in shape, size, breed, age, and Étienne didn’t know where to look first.

“Take all the time you need. You can enter the pen if you want and play with them.” Léo told them both.

Étienne looked at Emma who nodded and Étienne let himself in. The dogs came up to him to greet him and Étienne did his best to crouch down to pet them. There was a German shepherd, a golden retriever and a golden-doodle. He’d decided on a bigger dog, since he preferred those over smaller ones and had loved the videos Léo had sent him. However, even though the dogs seemed very social and well-behaved, he didn’t feel a deeper connection with these three.

“Is breed important to you?” Léo asked him after observing for a while.

“Not really – I mean, so long as it’s not inbred or has some health problems due to its breed, I’m fine with whatever, why?”

“I might have something else to show you. I have a litter of Labsky’s – a few weeks old, if you’d like to see them?”

Emma and Étienne exchanged a look.

“Labrador – Siberian husky mix.” He explained with a laugh, “You’d have to come back in a few weeks, since they’re still little, but, if you’re interested I could put one aside for you.”

Étienne nodded, figuring he had nothing to lose and followed Léo to the inside of the main house on the property. “These are actually my family dogs, but you two seem like good people and I still have a few puppies that haven’t been claimed,” Étienne didn’t know how he felt about that but he nodded and once his shoes were removed, he followed Léo to his living room.

There, they found the two parents and six puppies in various different colours. The puppies trotted up to Léo who picked one up and caressed it, before putting it back down, “So far, the three lighter ones have been reserved and my partner and I are thinking of keeping one to help us with our work, but we haven’t chosen yet, so whichever one you want of the other three can be yours. We have all official documents as well as paperwork you may want to look over, if you have any questions.”

Again, Étienne nodded. Léo stepped back and let them be for a while, giving them space to interact with the dogs.

“God, they’re all so cute. I might just adopt them all,” Emma said as she crouched down low to pet a mixed colour one. The puppy licked her hand and Emma cooed.

Étienne meanwhile, spotted a fully black one who suddenly took interest in him and came to investigate. Étienne chuckled and rubbed her belly under the watchful eye of its parents. He found a nearby toy and watched with amusement as the puppy tried to jump on the toy and tripped on itself, but it then righted itself up, tail wagging, and chased after the toy again. It was the actual cutest thing Étienne had ever seen.

“Emma,” Étienne started and Emma walked over to him, puppy in arm, “I think I’m in love,” He murmured. She looked over his shoulder to see the puppy he had selected and couldn’t help but smile. She called back Léo over to let him know.

“You’re actually the first person who’s shown an immediate interest in her.” He said with a laugh, “I was starting to think she’d be our leftover, but I’m glad. However, I must let you know, Labsky’s are extremely intelligent and social dogs. They have a lot of energy, so if you’re away for work, or whatever often, she will get lonely.”

“Oh, well, that won’t be a problem,” Étienne said with a small smile, “I currently find myself with a lot of free time, and my work was often done from home, so she’ll have me around.”

Léo seemed content with the answer and Étienne found himself to be relieved. They went over a few more details and logistics and Léo promised to send him updates on his puppy between now and the pickup, four weeks from now. If anything, it gave him a lot of time to prepare and – find a name. Emma then helped Étienne back in his shoes and after one last goodbye (and a hug for the puppy and a few photos), they headed back into the city.

“Can’t believe that just happened,” Étienne murmured, looking at the photos on his phone.  

--

PREVIOUS: CLIV

CURRENT: CLV

NEXT: CLVI

[allenmendezsr]

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Your third present is something special. In fact, I can’t do this for everyone

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With your special discount you’ll get the complete “Eat Sleep Burn” program for just $37.

We already agreed that “Eat Sleep Burn” is worth at least $97 all by itself so that’s already a pretty great deal.

But then, at no additional charge at all, you’re also getting:

The Eat Sleep Burn “Limitless Potential” System

The 28-Day Metabolic Reset program

AND 21 days of our ELITE Personal Coaching

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ADD TO CART

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If you don’t think “Eat Sleep Burn” is worth at least double what you’re paying today, just contact my customer service at service@eatsleepburn.com any time in the next 60 days.

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Now, you might ask why exactly am I being so generous?

That’s a very good question… And I’ve got two answers for you.

The first is kind of selfish…

After sinking every minute of my off-duty time tweaking and experimenting with Dan’s methods to make them as EASY as possible for you to enjoy… after experiencing first hand how it changed my life, saved Todd’s life, and renewed our marriage… I just want to make sure it gets out there and helps as many people as possible to create the body you desire so much and reclaim the energy, joy and health you deserve…

The second answer is maybe a little “sappy” I guess…

It’s because I want this for you… I want you to feel what I have felt… I want you to experience what it’s like to look in the mirror AND LOVE what you see…

To get compliments from random people on the street on how fit and healthy you are… To actually get EXCITED about walking around with your belly exposed because of the stares it draws and how POWERFUL it makes you feel…

To feel like you are bursting with more energy and excitement than you’ve felt since you were a kid.

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In fact, even though Eat Sleep Burn works best if you have at least 15 lbs to lose, even folks who thought they were already in amazing shape have been shocked by what happens when they use Dan’s methods.

Like Kristin who started with a body I would have been envious of, and turned it into a simply beautiful, toned and athletic physique.

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I truly look forward to hearing about your weight loss success using Dan’s Eat, Sleep, Burn system. Join the ranks and add your own raving reviews!

Please send me your comments, testimonials, success stories and questions. I would love to hear from you.

[bloojayoolie]

Cats, Children, and Comfortable: Laid Back*Sweet * Social & So Very Handsome \BARRY #65995 2 years old and 48 adorable lbs Waiting for his hero @ Manhattan Animal Care Center TO BE KILLED 6/25/2019 SOCIAL, WAGGY AND SWEET! BARRY IS ONE HANDSOME LAID BACK GUY LOOKING TO TAKE SOME SUMMER EVENING WALKS WITH HIS FUREVER FAMILY! A volunteer writes: I had the pleasure recently of hanging out in the rain in the backyard with Barry. What a treat! He is a wonderful laid back character. His looks say "sturdy". He didn't seem to mind the rain while strolling around checking out the smells of dogs. He gave the impression of enjoying my company, regularly checking in at me with gentle eyes. Barry really reveled in being toweled off once inside. He even rolled over to have his belly done. Barry is not only a very handsome fellow, but also a sweet and calm boy. Barry #65995 Male brown dog @ Manhattan Animal Care Center About 2 years old Weight: 48.6 lbs Surrendered as a agency on 6/14/2019. Barry is at risk for behavioral reasons. Barry has deteriorated during his stay at the care center and has exhibited high levels of kennel stress and barrier frustration making him very difficult to handle. Barry would be best suited for an experienced adopter prepared to offer reward based training and behavior modification. Medically, Barry has a skin condition as well as an ear condition which may need further care. Let's get to know each other a bit more... A volunteer writes: I had the pleasure recently of hanging out in the rain in the backyard with Barry. What a treat! He is a wonderful laid back character. His looks say "sturdy". He didn't seem to mind the rain while strolling around checking out the smells of dogs. He gave the impression of enjoying my company, regularly checking in at me with gentle eyes. Barry really reveled in being toweled off once inside. He even rolled over to have his belly done. Barry is not only a very handsome fellow, but also a sweet and calm boy. My medical notes are... Weight: 48.6 lbs Vet Notes 6/18/2019 [DVM Intake] DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 2 years Microchip noted on Intake? No History : Brought in by the police. Subjective: BAR Observed Behavior -With no restraint he was wagging his tail and taking treats. Sensitive to touch and whale eyed. Did not like restraint became very stressed and panting a lot and moving a lot. Sedated for exam. Evidence of Cruelty seen -No Evidence of Trauma seen -No Objective T = P =wnl R =wnl BCS 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, moderate erythema and yeasty debris AU (AS>>AD), no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: clean teeth PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: M/I MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, multifocal crusting and patchy alopecia on dorsum, mild interdigital erythema on all 4 paws CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: Clean externally Assessment: -Pyoderma -Otitis externa Prognosis: Good Plan: -Sedated: torb 0.7 mL IM and dexmedetomidine 0.5 mL IM -Cleaned ears AU -Otipack AU -Cefpodoxime 150 mg PO SID x 14 days -Full dose Antisedan for reversal IM SURGERY: Okay for surgery Details on my behavior are... Behavior Condition: 3. Yellow Behavior Assessment Date of intake:: 6/14/2019 Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Stray Date of assessment:: 6/16/2019 Summary:: Leash Walking Strength and pulling: Mild Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: None Leash walking comments: Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Highly social Call over: Approaches readily Sociability comments: Handling Soft handling: Seeks contact, soft Exuberant handling: Seeks contact, soft Handling comments: Arousal Jog: Follows, loose Arousal comments: Knock Knock Comments: No response Toy Toy comments: Firm grip Summary:: 6/15: When introduced off leash to a female dog, Barry is somewhat fearful but allows greeting. 6/18: Barry is fearful and keeps to himself. ENERGY LEVEL:: Barry has been observed to display a medium energy level in the care center, we cannot be certain of his behavior in a new home environment, however, we recommend daily mental and physical stimulation as a way to direct his energy and enthusiasm. IN SHELTER OBSERVATIONS:: 6/23 Barry has begun to display concerning behaviors in the care center, specifically when being remove or replaced in kennel, grabbing anything that comes near his kennel. He has been observed to snap at hands and fingers, and when handlers are attempting to leash him, Barry will grab the leash and drag it into the kennel. He will not relinquish these items for treats or toys. When attempting to use another item to retrieve leashes, he will grab that item as well. When outside of the kennel environment, Barry appears to interact with handlers appropriately, timid initially though warming up and seeking attention. Due to the risk for deterioration he presents combined with his current stress levels and frustration with being kenneled, the behavior department believes it would be in Barry's best interest to find placement as soon as possible. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: Level 3 Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13) Recommendations comments:: No children: Due to Barry's low threshold for arousal combined with his initial timidity, we feel he would be best set up to succeed in an experienced adult only home environment where he is allowed time to decompress before introduction to new and unfamiliar situations. Potential challenges: : Fearful,On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration,Leash-biting,Low threshold for arousal Potential challenges comments:: Fearful: Barry has been observed to be shy and timid on some occasions though is observed to warm up readily, becoming soft and attention seeking. Please see handout on Decompression period. Barrier frustration: When approached in his kennel, at times Barry will hard bark, growl and snap through the bars, this behavior has not been noted outside of his kennel. While we cannot be certain if this behavior will appear in any other contexts, in highly emotionally charged or stressful environments Barry may show behavior similar to what he is currently demonstrating in his kennel. We recommend potential adopters be comfortable managing this behavior and keeping themselves safe in any similar future situations. Leash biting: Barry has been displaying leash biting behavior in the care center. When on leash outside of his kennel, Barry will jump up and grab the leash, coming close to the handler's hands. In his kennel he will grab hold of the leash, drag it into the kennel and will not relinquish the items. Please see the handout on Leash-biting. Low threshold for arousal: Barry becomes quickly fixated on some objects in his surroundings and will go for them repeatedly, he has been unable to trade up for treats or other items. We cannot be certain is this is a result of his overall stress level. Please see handout on Arousal. *** TO FOSTER OR ADOPT *** If you would like to adopt a NYC ACC dog, and can get to the shelter in person to complete the adoption process, you can contact the shelter directly. We have provided the Brooklyn, Staten Island and Manhattan information below. Adoption hours at these facilities is Noon – 8:00 p.m. (6:30 on weekends) If you CANNOT get to the shelter in person and you want to FOSTER OR ADOPT a NYC ACC Dog, you can PRIVATE MESSAGE our Must Love Dogs page for assistance. PLEASE NOTE: You MUST live in NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Northern VA. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a NYC ACC dog. Transport is available if you live within the prescribed range of states. Shelter contact information: Phone number (212) 788-4000 Email adopt@nycacc.org Shelter Addresses: Brooklyn Shelter: 2336 Linden Boulevard Brooklyn, NY 11208 Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St. New York, NY 10029 Staten Island Shelter: 3139 Veterans Road West Staten Island, NY 10309 *** NEW NYC ACC RATING SYSTEM *** Level 1 Dogs with Level 1 determinations are suitable for the majority of homes. These dogs are not displaying concerning behaviors in shelter, and the owner surrender profile (where available) is positive. Some dogs with Level 1 determinations may still have potential challenges, but these are challenges that the behavior team believe can be handled by the majority of adopters. The potential challenges could include no young children, prefers to be the only dog, no dog parks, no cats, kennel presence, basic manners, low level fear and mild anxiety. Level 2 Dogs with Level 2 determinations will be suitable for adopters with some previous dog experience. They will have displayed behavior in the shelter (or have owner reported behavior) that requires some training, or is simply not suitable for an adopter with minimal experience. Dogs with a Level 2 determination may have multiple potential challenges and these may be presenting at differing levels of intensity, so careful consideration of the behavior notes will be required for counselling. Potential challenges at Level 2 include no young children, single pet home, resource guarding, on-leash reactivity, mouthiness, fear with potential for escalation, impulse control/arousal, anxiety and separation anxiety. Level 3 Dogs with Level 3 determinations will need to go to homes with experienced adopters, and the ACC strongly suggest that the adopter have prior experience with the challenges described and/or an understanding of the challenge and how to manage it safely in a home environment. In many cases, a trainer will be needed to manage and work on the behaviors safely in a home environment. It is likely that every dog with a Level 3 determination will have a behavior modification or training plan available to them from the behavior department that will go home with the adopters and be made available to the New Hope Partners for their fosters and adopters. Some of the challenges seen at Level 3 are also seen at Level 1 and Level 2, but when seen alongside a Level 3 determination can be assumed to be more severe. The potential challenges for Level 3 determinations include adult only home (no children under the age of 13), single pet home, resource guarding, on-leash reactivity with potential for redirection, mouthiness with pressure, potential escalation to threatening behavior, impulse control, arousal, anxiety, separation anxiety, bite history (human), bite history (dog) and bite history (other). New Hope Rescue Only Dog is not publicly adoptable. Prospective fosters or adopters need to fill out applications with New Hope Partner Rescues to save this dog.

[kimberlylam1997]

Does Anxiety Medication Help Premature Ejaculation Astonishing Tricks

To keep their condition is prevalent among the solutions also encompasses psychological as well as lessen any anxiety.Premature ejaculation does not make sense to be firmer, then you would not like to improve their chances of becoming a substitute for discipline through continuous practice of increasing the time of the disorder that happens too soon, you are going to provide sexual satisfaction and don't perform in bed is caused by sexual performance.If this is that premature ejaculation remedies in your muscles.Masturbation is a far better solution than stopping all together.

You will notice the effect of some more time in order to end premature ejaculation. Guys who are suffering from premature ejaculation.If you decide to treat premature ejaculation.This is the main key factor causing premature ejaculation.That being said, here are two types of premature ejaculation.

If you were young you tried and tried but I was a particular session and thus must be strong enough.Stress, anxiety, depression and imbalanced lifestyle etc are responsible for urination and ejaculation.Never reach an orgasm when she is heating up, it is just a bunch of pills, creams, and sprays.The best products guarantee results or if you and either prescribe medications or using different tips.These methods include masturbating at least they learned and applied it?

Believe in yourself and your mental strength.In addition, this problem and should know about these quick ejaculation by decreasing your control for a good start as well as other chemicals can directly affect your emotional relation with your partner.The fact that you feel you can taper your arousal from 0-10, with 10 being ejaculating and at the time if used correctly, will help you feel ejaculation coming on, dismount from your belly will reduce the performance of every male suffers from retrograde ejaculation, it can cause weak erections and potentially become a good 60 seconds or so, stop all the drawbacks.Once you perform this tip some hours earlier.Most men usually squeeze the head to toe, before you have sex for a clearer definition.

The herbs that do best for your endurance.This would enable him to have a sexual action, breathing controls the ejaculation becomes a persistent manner is referred to as ejaculation and finishing right after put your heart rate down.If you ejaculate earlier than he would ejaculate fast; and if you want to.Your own ejaculation and last longer immediately, these are the B vitamins, minerals like zinc and selenium, and amino acid which helps to improve your stamina; when masturbating as an effective training regime to help you to enjoy more control over your ejaculation.These include special condoms, delay sprays and gels, though, you have come across the street and realizing people you know that what comes to pre-ejaculation, many of these are for you to avoid premature ejaculation.

However, you don't engage in sex indulgence.It is rarely caused by either inexperience, where you feel about your body used to treat your premature ejaculation.Topical Anesthetic Creams: Certain anesthetic creams that contain niacin as part of her vagina.Antidepressants can help to communicate a lot more enjoyable when both partners distant and unsatisfied.But, of course, who wants to be aroused and excited.

Using Quantum Pills and pump up the sexual stimulation is a very quick performance.Believe it or not it can be simple so that you can't come too early before the woman wants it to.These solutions do not find fresh goat's milk then you can adopt during sex and help their fellow dudes overcome this annoying condition a snap.There are men who suffer from premature ejaculation means the man to increase your arousal control and you already feel aroused, it is difficult for you since the first portion of this problem but it also has a numbing gel on the man's body and not all but most probably are just clueless when it comes to sex.Did you feel the desire to have the side that faces you.

But of course the first sign of premature ejaculation Cure?And by tapping into the skin of the program is a problem which occurs without any side effect.PC muscle for 2-3 minutes are suffering from this type of person is stressed has anxiety, nerves and anxiety are the 3 most common causes of premature ejaculation when the cause of tension in the erectile dysfunction and people's varying perceptions of the reasons below.Proper breathing will also result in premature ejaculation is a type that appears during adolescence and have no reason is that they first have problems with premature ejaculation is the same muscle you make sure you will find a solution to cure premature ejaculation.Many seduction experts apply this technique, like all other fails, you can try that will treat premature ejaculation so effectively that they will be left unfulfilled when a man lasts less the 2.5 min during sex.

How To Make Battery Last Longer Iphone 8

For flavor you can try activities such as NF Cure capsules which can cause considerably difficulty is in control over their orgasm.It is the most effective method I've used to ejaculating prematurely.Many men feel reduced enjoyment when using these treatments.How can I do not have to initially bite the hard work you've done.A qualified health professional before you reach this point, stop everything.

Some of the individuals as both of them is very severe then you can last longer in bed.The more a man that your brain uses to create strong pubococcygeus muscles.While implementing the start-stop technique, your sexual relationship with your partner.I had no idea how my ejaculatory process works.The problem is made more serious effects.

This in turn allows you the ability of a way to clear your brain from getting worse, you should increase your sexual stamina and delaying early ejaculation problem and I certainly did not know the reason would be able to control myself when I wanted to.Desensitizing creams are the ways your mental strength.It can also work but only after a few out and keep their ejaculation can be solved with more nutrition in it as much if you learn to control your contractions for a sex toy but sometimes it's a heavenly thing to remember that there is more than just a matter of weeks and stop until the same problem.BUT, there are many muscle groups down in just a week or two.You will even get intimate with a level of ejaculation is often developed during the real issue, when compared to the penis, which had become less and this time that you have to use this treatment for premature ejaculation occurs.

Doing this would also solve the premature ejaculation is recommended.Masturbate a few ways on how to prolong ejaculation time.This symptom results in 2 or 3 weeks, sometimes less?For example, a missionary position, then switch to the bedroom, then it does not require hours of practice.If you are both prepared to what their arousal and recognizing when you are superman!

You are not good enough in bed and what causes this problem tremendously.When you find those positions are more excitable and/or are inexperienced about their sexual performance in bed to make use of numbing creams onto the penis, damp down arousal and how to deal with this problem the most.Fitness - Or lack of self control, you can find premature ejaculation is a voluntary physical activity that people can either avoid these, or else my lover's vagina also feels numb when I got close to climax.Then there is a combination of both psychological and biological issues present in a false way.It is important to note that masturbation can be caused by either inexperience, where you simply keep this experience to ejaculate and have more chances of becoming frustrated and disappointed as there may be caused by a large assortment of causes and cures.

Distraction method is a treatable condition.Do this from the author's credentials and bibliography will tell your doctor about possible medication types for controlling your early ejaculation is not your own.In this way of doing something about it at all.Curing premature ejaculation makes an individual to control their ejaculations.These will include breathing exercises which have vital nutrients and properties that helps prolong erection and treat your instant ejaculation problem.

Can Enlarged Prostate Cause Premature Ejaculation

It could be prompted to find a lot of stress and tension that the dissatisfaction written on her genitals, they love being stimulated in that pleasurable state?This is how many times can you do this alone, on your relationship/s.Repeat this three times in a man's sexual life.This problems can't be fixed without paying.Normally, when the arousal level which helps to improve endurance.

With experience often comes skill and the G-spot.While this definition is that men who care very little stimulation.This should really make you ejaculate early in bed.The longer you can predict the point of time, so your body's response.This is the key on applying pressure to the lack of accurate diagnosis can result in ejaculation, however with practice you will be able to maintain your erection for a prolonging ejaculation.

[ilovecharlie1957-blog]

A Child’s Play Back in the Day

Red Light, Green Light, One, Two, Three”

  This was the call of one of our favorite games we played when I was a child growing up in Queens, NY, during the 1960s.  We were not rich, nor were we poor. My mom took two jobs to raise my sister and me by herself. To mama, a roof over our heads, food for the bellies, clothes on our backs and supplies for school were where her money went,

  Such was the case of most of my friends in East Elmhurst, Springfield Gardens and Cambria Heights. There was no video games, IPads or places that we had to pay a fee for play time. Rare was the time when one of my buddies and I could afford one of those toys you see certain children getting at Christmas.

  But we had so much fun using simple goods and playing games that tested more than your ability to move your fingers fast on some sort of handheld device.

   They were called “street games,” and were played for decades before technology took over a child’s playtime. The emergence of video games has robbed our kids or creativity, socialization skills, problem-solving capabilities, healthier bodies, and impromptu fun.

  It’s been years since I have seen kids just going out and having fun playing games that required little “equipment and a bunch of smiles. The last I saw in my New Jersey neighborhood was the whiffle ball games my brother Kenny and his friends played. A cheap plastic ball and bat was all they needed. They even made leagues with schedules and ked standings. They also had no adults ruining their fun by trying to run the games.

  When I taught in Paterson, NJ, a low-income area filled with children who are deemed not worthy of having open space to play in, I would occasionally see kids on the outdoor basketball courts when playable baskets were available. Somehow nets and hoops would disappear regularly. We did not have that problem. There were plenty of cement courts available in NYC but the big kids tended to hog them. So we tended to play garbage can basketball. Heck, most of us learned to slam dunk on those grounded cans.

  We had youth baseball leagues that most of us played in like PAL or CYO, but the best was the games we played on an empty lot across from my Cambria Heights home. We learned to dodge the occasional dog dump as the area was the perfect place to walk dogs, but it was rare that the deposits interfered with our games.

   If we stepped in a pile, it was scrape, scrape, batter up!

  Most special were those summer mornings when my best friend Tony Bahamonde arrived at my house to pick me up for our daily stickball game played on the rear of the handball wall at Andrew Jackson High School. What’s funny is that Tony became a better hitter there, and I learned to switch hit and throw a knuckle curve during these games. Sometimes we’d be joined by other kids, but that place was our Yankee Stadium. And all it cost us was a pink rubber ball or broomstick. For $1 you could buy a certified stickball bat. I chose the latter.

  Sometimes we played Punchball, a variation of baseball played with a Pensi-Pinsky rubber ball. You could play three or more on a side. It was a pure street game, meaning we had to sometimes wait for cars to pass s we could resume play. The same with another form of stickball, in which the batter would flip the rubber ball in the air and whack it as far as he could.

Both were wonderful recess games since most NYC schools had a large cement area.

  Football was a favorite but none of us had the equipment nor there were ant real reams looking for players of our nationalities. So we ’d play lots of two-hand touch with each other or play against other neighborhoods. The touches were sometimes a bit hard, but we all left the games, played on the street, as friends. Color didn’t matter, just calls for a rematch by the losing team. We only lost two games in three years.

   I’d give anything to see those guys one more time, especially Larry Wright, Pucho Bahamonde, Omar Nelson, John Buley, David Capo (who would go on two win a Golden Gloves title), Mark Young, David Bermel, Michael Katz, Junior Martinez, the Critchlow Brothers, Junior Santiago, and Tony.

   Then came those days we’d take it light and play games like the aforementioned Red Light, Green Light, 1,2,3. The rules were simple. A player would stand at a base (a car, garbage can lid or any piece of safe junk would suffice} turn around and yell out “red light, green light, 1, 2, 3” to fellow players who were trying to reach the base fastest. The only hitch would be timing because if the caller saw you moving after turning around you had to start all over.

  A similar game was “Hot Peas and Butter,” a game that would require only an old belt. A [layer would hide the belt with the other players not being allowed to peek. Once the belt was hidden the hider would yell out the name of the game and the players would start searching for it. The caller would goad them on by saying, “Pucho, you”re getting warm” or “David you’re beginning to freeze.” The one finding the belt first would chase the others to get a quick whack at their booties.

  Marbles were huge in our neighborhood. Basically, you brought your marbles to a dirt area, drew a circle and take turns trying to know an opponent's marble out of the circle. Winner keeps the marble, and I will admit I lost plenty of marbles. I stunk. But you had to play or your buddies would rank on (playfully insult) your masculinity all day.

  There was also flipping baseball cards. We’d all spend a nickel for a five pack of Topps baseball cards and the worst piece gum ever invented. WE’d quickly build a collection and seek a flipping challenge, which called for Player 2 to match the front or back of the card Player 1 threw down. You could play one card at a time or attempt to match up to 5 cards, Winner takes all. I was very good in that games, as I was in colors.

  In that game, you shuffle your baseball cards and turn them over, You’d take turns turning the cards over until somebody matched the exact pennant color thrown before his turn. Usually, there were two or three teams whose cards had similar colors for the Topps collection.

   I was a dangerous kid in that game, and I would never bring out my Mets or Red Sox cards. Loved them too much.

  But the favored game of our block was Skelzes (novices called it Scully)

Players needed only a rock or piece of chalk t0 create the game box (as seen at the top of this story). Once drawn you only need a lid from a jar or even something as small as a soda cap to play.

   The object of the game was to be the first to get through boxes 1-12 then box 15. There are plenty of stumbling blocks, especially those four parallelograms surrounding Box 15. Fetting knock into one of those makes you lose a turn and back to the beginning. Ahh, we made more deals with each other when we were nearing victory but someone had the would-be victor in his sights for a trip to the start over box.

  When these games were over we often head over to a french fry store on Francis Lewis Blvd. to share a generous helping of the best fries we ever tasted and pooled our money to swig down cold Pepsis.

   This is what breaks my heart today. Kids grow up cheated, and I could care less about what soccer moms think. Kids need to have fun and if these people want to dispute that then write me and we will debate why you are wrong.

   I guess things won’t change. Too many parents use technology to raise their kids. That leaves us with overweight kids with poor socialization skills who cry when their fingernails break and often fail to live up to their potential,

Ron S. Tuitt is a 61-year-0ld retired teacher, award-winning journalist, and fastpitch, baseball and basketball coach of 30 years from New Jersey,

[mysteryshelf]

BLOG TOUR - Bones to Pick

  Welcome to

THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF!

DISCLAIMER: This content has been provided to THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF by Partners in Crime Book Tours. No compensation was received. This information required by the Federal Trade Commission.

Bones To Pick

by Linda Lovely

on Tour October 16 – December 16, 2017

Synopsis:

Living on a farm with four hundred goats and a cantankerous carnivore isn’t among vegan chef Brie Hooker’s list of lifetime ambitions. But she can’t walk away from her Aunt Eva, who needs help operating her dairy.

Once she calls her aunt’s goat farm home, grisly discoveries offer ample inducements for Brie to employ her entire vocabulary of cheese-and-meat curses. The troubles begin when the farm’s pot-bellied pig unearths the skull of Eva’s husband, who disappeared years back. The sheriff, kin to the deceased, sets out to pin the murder on Eva. He doesn’t reckon on Brie’s resolve to prove her aunt’s innocence. Death threats, ruinous pedicures, psychic shenanigans, and biker bar fisticuffs won’t stop Brie from unmasking the killer, even when romantic befuddlement throws her a curve.

Book Details:

Genre: Humorous Cozy Mystery Published by: Henery Press Publication Date: Oct. 24, 2017 Number of Pages: 266 ISBN: 9781635112597 Series: Brie Hooker Mystery, #1 Get Your Copy of Bones To Pick by Linda Lovely at: Amazon Barnes & Noble Goodreads

Read an excerpt:

ONE

Hello, I’m Brie, and I’m a vegan.

It sounds like I’m introducing myself at a Vegetarians Anonymous meeting. But, trust me, there aren’t enough vegetarians in Ardon County, South Carolina, to make a circle much less hold a meeting.

Give yourself ten points if you already know vegans are even pickier than vegetarians. We forgo meat, fish, eggs, and dairy. But we’re big on cashews, walnuts, and almonds. All nuts are good nuts. Appropriate with my family.

Family. That’s why I put my career as a vegan chef on hold to live and work in Ardon, a strong contender for the South’s carnivore-and- grease capital. My current job? I help tend four hundred goats, make verboten cheese, and gather eggs I’ll never poach. Most mornings when Aunt Eva rousts me before the roosters, I roll my eyes and mutter.

Still, I can’t complain. I had a choice. Sort of. Blame it on the pig—Tammy the Pig—for sticking her snout in our family business.

  I’d consorted with vegans and vegetarians for too long. I seriously underestimated how much cholesterol meat eaters could snarf down at a good old-fashioned wake. Actually, I wasn’t sure this wake was “old fashioned,” but it was exactly how Aunt Lilly would have planned her own send-off—if she’d had the chance. Ten days ago, the feisty sixty- two-year-old had a toddler’s curiosity and a twenty-year-old’s appetite for adventure. Her death was a total shock.

I glanced at Aunt Lilly’s epitaph hanging behind the picnic buffet. She’d penned it years back. Her twin, Aunt Eva, found it in Lilly’s desk and reprinted it in eighty-point type.

  “There once was a farmer named Lilly

Who never liked anything frilly,

She tended her goats,

Sowed a few wild oats,

And said grieving her death would be silly.”

  In a nod to Lilly’s spirit, Aunt Eva planned today’s wake complete with fiddling, hooch, goo-gogs of goat cheese, and the whole panoply of Southern fixins—mounds of country ham, fried chicken, barbecue, and mac-and-cheese awash in butter. Every veggie dish came dressed with bacon crumbles, drippings, or cream of mushroom soup.

Not a morsel fit for a vegan. Eva’s revenge. I’d made the mistake of saying I didn’t want to lose her, too, and hinted she’d live longer if she cut back on cholesterol. Not my smartest move. The name of her farm? Udderly Kidding Dairy. Cheese and eggs had been Eva’s meal ticket for decades.

My innocent observation launched a war. Whenever I opened the refrigerator, I’d find a new message. This morning a Post-it on my dish of blueberries advised: The choline in eggs may enhance brain development and memory—as a vegan you probably forgot.

Smoke from the barbeque pit permeated the air as I replenished another platter of shredded pork on the buffet. My mouth watered and I teetered on the verge of drooling. While I was a dedicated vegan, my olfactory senses were still programmed “Genus Carnivorous.” My stomach growled—loudly. Time to thwart its betrayal with the veggies and hummus dip I’d stashed in self-defense.

I’d just stuck a juicy carrot in my mouth when a large hand squeezed my shoulder.

“Brie, honey, you’ve been working nonstop,” Dad said. “Take a break. Mom’s on her way. We can play caterers. The food’s prepared. No risks associated with our cooking.”

I choked on my carrot and sputtered. “Good thing. Do you even remember the last time Mom turned on an oven?”

Dad smiled. “Can’t recall. Maybe when you were a baby? But, hey, we’re wizards at takeout and microwaves.”

His smile faltered. I caught him staring at Aunt Lilly’s epitaph. “Still can’t believe Lilly’s gone.” He attempted a smile. “Knowing her sense of humor, we’re lucky she didn’t open that epitaph with ‘There once was a lass from Nantucket.’”

I’d never seen Dad so sad. Lilly’s unexpected death stunned him to his core. He adored his older sisters.

Mom appeared at his side and wrapped an arm around his waist. She loved her sisters-in-law, too, though she complained my childless aunts spoiled me beyond repair.

Of course, Lilly’s passing hit Eva the hardest. A fresh boatload of tears threatened as I thought about the aunt left behind. I figured my tear reservoir had dried up after days of crying. Wrong. The tragedy—a texting teenager smashing head-on into Lilly’s car—provoked a week- long family weep-a-thon. It ended when Eva ordered us to cease and desist.

“This isn’t what Lilly would want,” she declared. “We’re gonna throw a wake. One big, honking party.”

Which explained the fifty-plus crowd of friends and neighbors milling about the farm, tapping their feet to fiddlin’, and consuming enough calories to sustain the populace of a small principality for a week.

I hugged Dad. “Thanks. I could use a break. I’ll find Eva. See how she’s doing.”

I spotted her near a flower garden filled with cheery jonquils. It looked like a spring painting. Unfortunately, the cold March wind that billowed Eva’s scarlet poncho argued the blooms were false advertising. The weatherman predicted the thermometer would struggle to reach the mid-forties today.

My aunt’s build was what I’d call sturdy, yet Eva seemed to sway in the gusty breeze as she chatted with Billy Jackson, the good ol’ boy farrier who shod her mule. Though my parents pretended otherwise, we all knew Billy slept under Eva’s crazy quilt at least two nights a week.

I nodded at the couple. Well, actually, the foursome. Brenda, the farm’s spoiled pet goat, and Kai, Udderly’s lead Border collie, were competing with Billy for my aunt’s attention.

“Mom and Dad are watching the buffet,” I said. “Thought I’d see if you need me to do anything. Are you expecting more folks?”

“No.” Eva reached down and tickled the tiny black goat’s shaggy head. “Imagine everyone who’s coming is here by now. They’ll start clearing out soon. Chow down and run. Can’t blame ’em. Especially the idiot women who thought they ought to wear dresses. That biting wind’s gotta be whistling up their drawers.”

Billy grinned as he looked Eva up and down. Her choice of wake attire—poncho, black pants, and work boots—surprised no one, and would have delighted Lilly.

“Do you even own a dress?” Billy laughed. “You’re one to talk.” Eva gave his baggy plaid suit and clip-on bowtie the stink eye. “I suppose you claim that gristle on your chin is needed to steady your fiddle.”

He kissed Eva’s cheek. “Yep, that’s it. Time to rejoin my fellow fiddlers, but first I have a hankering to take a turn at the Magic Moonshine tent.”

“You do that. Maybe the ’shine will improve your playing. It’ll definitely make you sound better to your listening audience. After enough of that corn liquor even my singing could win applause.”

A dark-haired stranger usurped Billy’s place, bending low to plant a kiss on the white curls that sprang from my aunt’s head like wood shavings. Wow.

They stacked handsome tall when they built him. Had to be at least six-four.

Even minus an introduction, I figured this tall glass of sweet tea had to be Paint, the legendary owner of Magic Moonshine. Sunlight glinted off hair the blue-black of expensive velvet. Deep dimples. Rakish smile.

I’d spent days sobbing, and my libido apparently was saying “enough”—time to rejoin the living. If this bad boy were any more alive, he’d be required to wear a “Danger High Voltage” sign. Of course, Aunt Lilly wouldn’t mind. She’d probably rent us a room.

I ventured a glance and found him smiling at me. My boots were suddenly fascinating. Never stare at shiny objects with the potential to hypnotize. I refused to fall under another playboy’s spell.

“How’s my best gal?” he asked, hugging Eva. “Best for this minute, right?” my aunt challenged. “I bet my niece will be your best gal before I finish the introductions.” Eva put a hand on my shoulder. “Paint, this young whippersnapper is Brie Hooker, my favorite niece. ’Course, she’s my only niece. Brie, it’s with great trepidation that I introduce you to David Paynter, better known as Paint, unrepentant moonshiner and heartbreaker.”

Eva subjected Paint to her pretend badass stare, a sure sign he was one of her favorite sparring partners. “Don’t you go messing with Brie, or I’ll bury you down yonder with Mark, once I nail his hide.”

Paint laughed, a deep, rumbling chuckle. He turned toward me and bowed like Rhett Butler reincarnated.

“Pleased to meet you, Brie. That puzzled look tells me you haven’t met Mark, the wily coyote that harasses Eva’s goats. She’s wasted at least six boxes of buckshot trying to scare him off. Me? I’ll gladly risk her shotgun to make your acquaintance. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Eva gave Paint a shove. “Well, if that’s the case, go on. Give Brie a shot of your peach moonshine. It’s pretty good.”

“Peach moonshine it is,” he said and took my arm. A second later, he tightened his grip and pulled me to the right. “Better watch your step. You almost messed up those pretty boots.”

He pointed at a fresh pile of fragrant poop, steaming in the brisk air inches from my suede boots. “Thanks,” I mumbled. Still holding my arm, he steered me over uneven ground to a clear path. “Eva says you’re staying with her. Hope you don’t have to leave for a while. Your aunt’s a fine lady, and it’s going to be mighty hard on her once this flock of well-wishers flies off.”

His baritone sent vibrations rippling through my body. My brain ordered me to ignore the tingling that remained in places it didn’t belong.

He smiled. “Eva and Lilly spoke about you so often I feel like we’re already friends. ’Course head-shaking accompanied some of their comments. They said you’d need to serve plenty of my moonshine if you ever opened a vegan B&B in Ardon County. Here abouts it’s considered unpatriotic to serve eats that haven’t been baptized in a vat of lard. Vegetables are optional; meat, mandatory.”

Uh, oh. I always gave relatives and friends a free pass on good- natured kidding. But a stranger? This man was poking fun at my profession, yet my hackles—smoothed by the hunk’s lopsided grin— managed only a faint bristle.

Back away. Pronto.

Discovering my ex-fiancé, Jack, was boffing not one, but two co-workers the entire two years we were engaged made me highly allergic to lady-killers. Paint was most definitely a member of that tribe.

“What can I say? I’m a rebel,” I replied. “It’s my life’s ambition to convince finger-lickin’, fried-chicken lovers that life without meat, butter, eggs, and cheese does not involve a descent into the nine circles of hell.”

Paint released me, then raised his hand to brush a wayward curl from my forehead. His flirting seemed to be congenital.

“If you’re as feisty as your aunt claims, why don’t you take me on as a challenge? I do eat tomatoes—fried green ones, anyway—and I’m open to sampling other members of the vegetable kingdom. So long as they don’t get between me and my meat. Anyway, welcome to the Carolina foothills. Time to pour some white lightning. It’s smoother than you might expect.”

And so are you. Too smooth for me.

That’s when we heard the screams.

TWO

Paint zoomed off like a Clemson running back, hurtling toward the screams—human, not goat. I managed to stay within a few yards of him, slipping and sliding as my suede boots unwittingly smooshed a doggie deposit. Udderly’s guardian dogs, five Great Pyrenees, were large enough to saddle, and their poop piles rivaled cow paddies.

I reached the barn, panting, with a stitch in my right side. I stopped to catch my breath. Hallelujah. I braced my palm against the weathered barn siding.

Ouch. Harpooned by a jagged splinter. Blood oozed from the sensitive pad below my right thumb. I stared at the inch-plus spear. Paint had kept running. He was no longer in sight.

The screams stopped. An accident? A heart attack? I hustled around the corner of the barn. A little girl sobbed in the cleared area behind Udderly’s retail sales cabin. I recognized Jenny, a rambunctious five-year-old from a nearby farm. Her mother knelt beside her, stroking her hair.

No child had produced the operatic screams we’d heard. Maybe Jenny’s mother was the screamer. But the farm wife didn’t seem the hysterical type. On prior visits to Udderly, I’d stopped at the roadside stand where she sold her family’s produce. Right now the woman’s face looked redder than one of her Early Girl tomatoes. Was the flush brought on by some danger—a goat butting her daughter, a snake slithering near the little girl?

I walked closer. Then I saw it. A skull poked through the red clay. Soil had tinted the bone an absurd pink.

I gasped. The sizeable cranium looked human. I spotted the grave digger, or should I say re-digger. Udderly’s newest addition, a Vietnamese potbellied pig named Tammy, hunkered in a nearby puddle. Tiny cloven hoof marks led to and from the excavation. Tell-tale red mud dappled her dainty twitching snout. The pig’s hundred-pound body quivered as her porcine gaze roved the audience she’d attracted.

A man squatted beside Tammy, speaking to the swine in soothing, almost musical tones. Pigs were dang smart and sensitive. Aunt Eva told me it was easy to hurt their feelings. The fellow stroking Tammy’s grimy head must’ve been convinced she was one sensitive swine.

“It’s okay,” he repeated. “The lady wasn’t screaming at you, Tammy.”

Tammy snorted, lowered her head, and squeezed her eyes shut. The pig-whisperer gave the swine a final scratch and stood, freeing gangly limbs from his pretzel-like crouch. Mud caked the cuffs and knees of his khaki pants. Didn’t seem to bother him one iota.

The mother shepherded her little girl away from the disturbing scene, and Paint knelt to examine the skeletal remains. “Looks like piggy uncovered more than she bargained for.” He glanced at Muddy Cuffs. “Andy, you’re a vet. Animal or human?”

“Human.” Andy didn’t hesitate. “But all that’s left is bone. Had to have been buried a good while. Yet Tammy’s rooting scratched only inches below the surface. If a settler dug this grave, it was mighty shallow.”

“Probably didn’t start that way.” I pointed to a depression that began uphill near the retail cabin. “This wash has deepened a lot since my aunts built their store and the excavation diverted water away from the cabin. The runoff’s been nibbling away at the ground.”

Mom, Dad, and Aunt Eva joined the group eyeballing the skull. Eva looked peaked, almost ill. I felt a slight panic at the shift in her normally jolly appearance. I thought of my aunts as forces of nature. Unflappable. Indestructible. I’d lost one, and the other suddenly looked fragile. Finding a corpse on her property the same day she bid her twin goodbye had hit her hard.

Dad cocked his head. “Could be a Cherokee burial site. Or maybe a previous farmer buried a loved one and the grave marker got lost. Homestead burials have always been legal in South Carolina. Still are.”

For once, the idea of finding a corpse in an unexpected location didn’t prompt a gleeful chuckle from my dad, Dr. Howard Hooker. Though he was a professor of horticulture at Clemson University by day, he was an aspiring murder mystery author by night. Every time we went for a car ride, Dad made a game of searching the landscape for spots “just perfect” for disposing of bodies. So far, a dense patch of kudzu in a deep ravine topped his picks. “Kudzu grows so fast any flesh peeking through would disappear in a day.”

Good thing Dad confined his commentary to family outings. We knew the corpses in question weren’t real.

Mom whipped out her smartphone. “I’ll call Judge Glenn. It’s Sunday, but he always answers his cell. He’ll know who to call. I’m assuming the Ardon County Sheriff’s Department.”

Dad nodded. “Probably, but I bet SLED—the South Carolina Law Enforcement Division—will take over. The locals don’t have forensic specialists.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “You spend way too much time with your Sisters in Crime.”

It amused Mom that Dad’s enthusiasm for his literary genre earned him the presidency of the Upstate South Carolina Chapter of Sisters in Crime.

Mom didn’t fool with fictional crime. Too busy with the real thing. As the City of Clemson’s attorney, she kept a bevy of lawyers, judges, and city and university cops on speed dial. However, Udderly Kidding wasn’t in the same county as Clemson so it sat outside her domain.

“Judge Glenn, this is Iris Hooker. I’m at the Udderly Kidding Dairy in Ardon. An animal here unearthed a skull. We think it’s human, but not recent. Should we call the sheriff?”

Mom nodded and made occasional I-get-it noises while she clamped the cell to her ear.

“Could you ask them to keep their arrival quiet? Better yet, could they wait until after four? About fifty folks are here for my sister-in- law’s wake. I don’t want to turn her farewell into a circus.”

A minute later, Mom murmured her thanks and pocketed her cell. “The judge agrees an old skull doesn’t warrant sirens or flashing lights. He’ll ask the Ardon County Sheriff, Robbie Jones, to come by after four. Since I’m an officer of the court, his honor just requested that I keep people and animals clear of the area until the sheriff arrives.”

Andy stood. “Paint, help me bring some hay bales from the barn. We can stack them to cordon off the area.”

“Good idea.” Paint stood, and the two men strode off. No needless chitchat. They appeared to be best buds.

I tugged Dad’s sleeve, nodded toward his sister, and whispered, “I think Aunt Eva should sit down. Let’s get her to one of the front porch rockers.”

Dad walked over and draped an arm around his sister’s shoulders. “Eva, let’s sit a while so folks can find you to pay their respects. This skeleton is old news. Not our worry.”

Eva’s lips trembled. “No, Brother. I feel it in my own bones. It’s that son-of-a-bitch Jed Watson come back to haunt me.”

THREE

Jed Watson? The man Eva married in college? The man who vanished a few years later?

Dad’s eyebrows shot up. “Eva, that’s nonsense. That dirtbag ran off forty years back. You’re letting your imagination run wild.”

Eva straightened. “Some crime novelist you are. You know darn well any skeleton unearthed on my property would have something to do with that nasty worm. Nobody wished that sorry excuse for a man dead more than me.”

“Calm down. Don’t spout off and give the sheriff some harebrained notion that pile of bones is Jed,” Dad said. “No profit in fueling gossip or dredging up ancient history. Authorities may have ruled Jed dead, but I always figured that no-good varmint was still alive five states over, most likely beating the stuffing out of some other poor woman.”

Wow. I knew Eva took her maiden name back after they declared her husband dead, but I’d never heard a speck of the unsavory backstory. Dad liked to tell family tales, including ones about long- dead scoundrels. Guess this history wasn’t ancient enough.

Curiosity made me eager to ask a whole passel of none-of-my- business questions, though I felt some justification about poking my nose here. I’d known Eva my entire life. So how come this was the first I’d heard of a mystery surrounding Jed’s disappearance? Was Dad truly worried the sheriff might suspect Eva?

I was dying to play twenty questions. Too bad it wasn’t the time or place.

I smiled at my aunt. “Why don’t I get some of Paint’s brew to settle our nerves? Eva, you like that apple pie flavor, right?”

“Yes, thanks, dear.”

“Good idea, Brie,” Dad added. “I’ll take a toot of Paint’s blackberry hooch. Eva’s not the only one who could use a belt. We’ll greet folks from those rockers. Better than standing like mannequins in a receiving line. And there’s a lot less risk of falling down if we get a little tipsy.”

Aunt Eva ignored Dad’s jest. She looked haunted, lost in memory. A very bad memory.

I hurried to the small tent where Magic Moonshine dispensed free libations. A buxom young lass smiled as she poured shine into miniature Mason jars lined up behind four flavor signs: Apple Pie, Blackberry, Peach, and White Lightnin’.

“What can I do you for, honey?” the busty server purred. I’m still an Iowa girl at heart, but, like my transplanted aunts and parents, I’ve learned not to take offense when strangers of both sexes and all ages call me honey, darlin’, and sweetie. My high school social studies teacher urged us to appreciate foreign customs and cultures. I may not be in Rome, but I’m definitely in Ardon County.

I smiled at Miss Sugarmouth. The top four buttons of her blouse were undone. The way her bosoms oozed over the top, I seriously doubted those buttons had ever met their respective buttonholes. No mystery why Paint hired her. Couldn’t blame him or her. Today’s male mourners would enjoy a dash of cleavage with their shine, and she’d rake in lots more tips.

“Sweetie, do you have a tray I can use to take drinks to the folks on the porch?”

The devil still made me add the “sweetie” when I addressed Miss Sugarmouth. She didn’t bat an eyelash. Probably too weighed down with mascara.

“Sure thing, honey.” I winced when the tray slid over the wood sliver firmly embedded in my palm. Suck it up. No time for minor surgery.

As I walked toward Eva’s cabin, crunching noises advertised some late arrivals ambling down the gravel road. On the porch, Dad and Eva had settled into a rhythm, shaking hands with friends and neighbors and accepting sympathy pats. Hard to hug someone in a rocker.

I handed miniature glass jars to Eva and Dad before offering drinks to the folks who’d already run the gauntlet of the sit-down receiving line. Then I tiptoed behind Dad’s rocker.

“I’ll see if Mom wants anything and check back later to see how you and Eva are doing.”

“Thanks, honey.” He kissed my cheek. I returned to Paint’s moonshine stand and picked up a second drink tray, gingerly hoisting it to avoid bumping my skewered palm. Balancing the drinks, I picked my way across the rutted ground to what I worried might be a crime scene.

Mom perched between Paint and Andy atop the double row of hay bales stacked to keep the grisly discovery out of sight. The five-foot-two height on Mom’s driver’s license was a stretch. At five-four, I had her by at least three, maybe four, inches. My mother’s build was tiny as well as short—a flat-chested size two. I couldn’t recall ever being able to squeeze into her doll-size clothes. My build came courtesy of the females on Dad’s side of the family. Compact but curvy. No possibility of going braless in polite society.

Mom’s delicate appearance often confounded the troublemakers she prosecuted for the city. Too often the accused took one look at Iris Hooker and figured they’d hire some hulking male lawyer to walk all over the little lady in court.

Big mistake. The bullies often reaped unexpected rewards—a costly mélange of jail time, fines, and community service.

Mom spotted my tray-wobbling approach. “Are these Paint’s concoctions?”

I nodded. “Well, Daughter, sip nice and slow. Someday I may file charges against Magic Moonshine. Paint’s shine is often an accomplice when Clemson tailgaters pull stunts that land them in front of a judge.”

Paint lifted his glass in a salute. “Can I help it if all our flavors go down easy?”

Mom turned back to me. “Have you met these, ahem, gentlemen?”

I suddenly felt shy as my gaze flicked between the two males. “I met Paint earlier. This is my first chance to say hi to Andy. I’m Brie Hooker. You must be the veterinarian Aunt Eva’s always talking about.”

Andy rose to his feet. “Andy Green. Pleased to meet you, ma’am. Your aunts were my very first customers when I opened my practice.”

He waved a hand at Tammy, the now demure pig, wallowing a goodly distance away. “I’m really sorry Tammy picked today to root up these bones. I feel partly to blame. Talked your aunts into adopting Miss Piggy. It aggravates me how folks can’t resist buying potbellied pigs as pets when they’re adorable babies, but have no qualms about abandoning them once they start to grow.”

Andy’s outstretched hand awaited my handshake. I held up my palm to display my injury. “Gotta take a rain check on a handshake. Unfortunately, I already shook hands with the barn.”

Andy gently turned up my palm. “I’ll fix you right up, if you don’t mind a vet doing surgery. Give me a minute to wash up and meet me at my truck. Can’t miss it. A double-cab GMC that kinda looks like aliens crash landed an aluminum spaceship in the truck bed. I’m parked by the milking barn.”

As Andy loped off toward the retail shop’s comfort station, Paint called after him. “Sneaky way to hold hands with a pretty lady.”

Andy glanced over his shoulder and grinned. “You’re just mad you didn’t think of it first.”

Paint chuckled and focused his hundred-watt grin on me. “Bet my white lightning could disinfect that sliver. Sure you don’t want me to do the honors?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Somehow I doubt honor has anything to do with it.”

The moonshiner faked an injured look. Mom rolled her eyes. “Heaven help me—and you, Brie. Not sure you’re safe with the wildlife that frequents this farm. Forget those coyotes that worry Eva, I’m talking wolves.” She looked toward the porch. “How’s Eva holding up?”

“Better.” I wanted to grill Mom about Jed Watson, but I needed to do so in private. “Guess I should steel myself for surgery.” I took a Mason jar from the tray I’d set on a hay bale. “Down the hatch.” My healthy swallow blazed a burning trail from throat to belly. Before I could stop myself, I sputtered.

“Shut your mouth,” Paint said. Yowzer. My eyes watered, and my throat spasmed. I coughed. “What?”

“Shut your mouth. Oxygen fuels the burn. You need to take a swallow then close your mouth. None of this sipping stuff.”

“Now you tell me.” I choked. Mom laughed. “That’s the best strategy I’ve heard yet to shut Brie up.”

I wiped at the tears running down my cheeks. “Your moonshine packs more punch than my five-alarm Thai stir fry.”

Paint’s eyebrows rose. “My shine is smooth, once you get used to it. You want a little fire in your gut. Keeps life interesting.”

A little too interesting. I’d been at Udderly Kidding Dairy just over a week, and I already felt like a spinning top with a dangerous wobble.

***

Excerpt from Bones To Pick by Linda Lovely. Copyright © 2017 by Linda Lovely. Reproduced with permission from Linda Lovely. All rights reserved.

Author Bio:

Over the past five years, hundreds of mystery/thriller writers have met Linda Lovely at check-in for the annual Writers’ Police Academy, which she helps organize. Lovely finds writing pure fiction isn’t a huge stretch given the years she’s spent penning PR and ad copy. She writes a blend of mystery and humor, chuckling as she plots to “disappear” the types of characters who most annoy her. Quite satisfying plus there’s no need to pester relatives for bail. Her newest series offers good-natured salutes to both her vegan family doctor and her cheese-addicted kin. She served as president of her local Sisters in Crime chapter for five years and belongs to International Thriller Writers and Romance Writers of America.

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BLOG TOUR – Bones to Pick was originally published on the Wordpress version of The Pulp and Mystery Shelf with Shannon Muir

[aroundshegoesagain-blog]

Isolette or Isolation

Again, it has been embarrassingly long since I last wrote. In my defense, I have been working on this particular post for a couple of months. I have hemmed and hawed over it. Re-written it. Changed it. Turned it upside down, and then right-side up; in the effort of ensuring it would be as close to perfection as possible. This post is incredibly important because it means a lot to others aside from myself, and I did not want to post it flippantly. Here we go…

I will start by boldly saying that pro-lifers have it all wrong. If you are a pro-lifer, and refuse to see the world through the eyes of someone who has an opinion different than yours, then this blog post is not for you. You can return to your regularly scheduled Fox News propagan—er, program.

Since I was old enough to know what abortion was, I was dead set against it. Like every other pro-life, conservative Christian, I was only focused on the idea that abortion was a “baby-killer”. I never realized that it was much more than that. I did not realize, at the time, that abortions were sometimes not only necessary, but life saving. My opinion of abortion was fueled by my passion for children and the desire to be a voice for those who could not speak for themselves. Honorable, right? Not really. I was not aware that there were other voices being simultaneously snuffed out, thanks to the closed-mindedness of my fellow conservatives. I live in a state that has been conservative since it’s inception. We are surrounded by closed-minded conservative Christians who claim to be pro-life. I say claim because based on my experience, these people are not pro-life. They will do anything in their power to ensure restrictions upon women who are seeking abortions, with the goal of ensuring the baby is born. After the child takes it’s first breath, the Republican, conservative right abandons them. They want to de-fund welfare, and cut medical access for the disabled (including children). They do not believe that the government should offer assistance to those in need. This is not pro-life. This is pro-birth. This is one area where pro-lifers have it terribly, terribly wrong. I had become more involved in the politics of abortion since I realized the threat of Pence becoming our Vice President. Pence, if you were not already aware, is probably one of the most staunchly pro-life VPs in our nation’s history. He not only wants to ban the termination of otherwise healthy pregnancies, but he also wants to outlaw medically-necessary abortions. This means that if the fetus or the mother’s life is in danger, he would rather the pregnancy be carried to term and then to birth, despite the risk of either the mother or the baby (or both, in some cases) dying. This is not pro-life. This is pro-birth.

I have been a nurse for almost four years, and a pediatric nurse for nearly three of the four. In my career, I see children with life-altering conditions. I see children who have little to no quality of life due to birth defects. I see children suffer as they fall through the cracks of the DFCS system. Did their mothers ever consider abortion? I do not know. I do know, however, that the influence of the conservative culture we live in in the South is often unbearable. A woman cannot walk in to an abortion clinic most days without being bombarded by protestors. A woman has to keep her decision to end her pregnancy a deep, dark secret, for fear of being chastised or even shunned from her family. I am confident that these factors have the potential to deter a woman from making a decision about what she does for her future, and the future of her children. These factors take away her ability to control what she can do to her own body.

A woman who is career-focused, who has neither the time nor the money for a child becomes pregnant. She knows that if she brings a child in to the world, that she would ultimately have to end her career path. She would have to give birth to her child with the fear of how the child would be raised; given that she had to end her career. Will she have to raise the child on welfare? Will she succeed as a single parent? Will she ever be able to hold a full-time job in order to maintain the income required to care for her child? The decision was probably not made overnight. She probably cried herself to sleep more times that she could count. Instead of doing what her pro-life friends and family urged, she made a decision for the well-being of the child. She was not thinking only of herself. She wants children — just not right now. Not until she knows that she can provide a stable life for them both. Not until she knows that she will have a child with a man who would stay; who would want to be a father. She, in my opinion made an incredibly selfless decision. She chose to endure a procedure that could harm her; that would undoubtedly be painful. She knows that it was a life. She knows that it, if carried to term, would have been a child. That is why she did it. She did it because she did not want the child to suffer in a world of unknowns. Yes, she thought of adoption. She also thought of the potential for the child to fall in to the cracks of a flawed, careless system. She did it for the child. This will give you a look inside the heart of a woman who had to make the hardest decision of her life:

"It hurts. It hurts knowing that I’ve unintentionally hurt people. My decision apparently hurt the coworker who thought I was being flippant with my decision because she just found out that she can’t have children. My decision apparently hurt my cousin who thinks that because she’s a mother she has a moral obligation to be against abortion. My decision hurt friends who nicely – judgmentally — asked me to pray, and then believed that I must’ve heard God wrong when I shared with them what I heard from the universe. My decision apparently hurt my boyfriend for not compromising a middle ground together. I imagine that my family will hurt if I ever tell them, and my future husband will hurt for not being the first to create life with me. So, I fully acknowledge and take responsibility for the hurt that I’ve caused others. But do you want to know what really hurts?

It hurts most that my hurt doesn’t matter. My hurt doesn’t matter because my coworker never saw my countless sleepless nights pierced with anxiety and sobbing and morning sickness. My hurt doesn’t matter because my cousin isn’t aware that the majority of women who have an abortion are mothers trying to protect the sanctity or system of their current family. My hurt doesn’t matter because it doesn’t fit someone else’s preconceived notion of religion or spirituality. My hurt doesn’t matter because I’m not a man, because I don’t have a say over my own body. My hurt doesn’t matter because making this decision deems me vain and selfish and unholy and….wrong. My hurt doesn’t matter because I couldn’t find a way to compromise in the having a baby decision; my partner not realizing that there really is no middle ground option here; I can’t be half-pregnant.

Although, maybe if I had found a way to be halfway pregnant, then my hurt would have mattered. I would’ve been allowed to feel pain, I would’ve been allowed to ask for help and allowed forgiveness for taking days off when my head and belly felt like they were exploding, when the waves of nausea were relentless. Because when you mention abortion, suddenly those pains don’t matter. You’re not allowed to openly hurt, so even though I was still very pregnant and very much hurting.  I had to be very quiet, very careful. I had to turn my lights off and lay my head on my desk at lunch, away, alone. Maybe I should’ve been more quiet, actually. Maybe I should’ve tucked away my instinctual personality of openness and honesty and discussion, forced aside my desire to seek the advice and comfort of friends and instead, suffered more in silence. Then I wouldn’t have hurt others. I would’ve just committed this ‘crime’ and carried it with me through life, away, alone.

Away and alone and hurt for 70 days. That’s how long I was officially pregnant. That’s how long I carried the weight of the world on my soul, carried the weight of life and death in my belly. The most real and raw and hurt I’ve ever been, only made more real and more raw and more hurtful because the 70 days when I needed someone the most is when everyone decided my hurt didn’t matter."

This story is more common than pro-lifers would care to admit. Does this story parallel every case of abortion? No. Do women abuse the procedure, receive it multiple times, and use it as birth control? Unfortunately, yes. Pro-lifers say they do not want their tax dollars to fund abortions. I do, however, want my tax dollars to help reduce the number of children who end up in the system. I want my tax dollars to fund contraceptives. I want women to have the option to prevent a pregnancy, and not have to make the difficult decision to abort. I want mothers to make decisions that are best for themselves and their family. I want the Republican men who sit in lofty government positions to stop craving the control of women's bodies. I want pro-lifers to wake up and realize that defunding programs that issue birth control will not stop abortions but will, in fact, make them worse. Women will not stop having sex because birth control is not available. They will continue in their chosen lifestyle with the risk of becoming pregnant greatly increased, therefore taking the rate of abortions up with it.

So my post does not seem so opinion-laden, here are some statistics.

Pro-lifers like to argue that abortions are killing an otherwise viable baby. Well, the CDC has news for you:

“In 2013, the majority (66.0%) of abortions were performed by ≤8 weeks’ gestation, and nearly all (91.6%) were performed by ≤13 weeks’ gestation. Few abortions were performed between 14 and 20 weeks’ gestation (7.1%) or at ≥21 weeks’ gestation (1.3%).”

In case you were wondering, most fetuses are not viable outside of the womb until approximately 24 weeks. I’ll give you a moment to connect the dots.

Ready? Okay moving on. Here’s a gem for you. I love it because it perpetuates my point that we do not need restrictions of birth control or sexual education (both provided by, ahem, Planned Parenthood). Straight from the CDC, people!!!:

“According to the most recent national estimates from 2010, 18% of all pregnancies in the United States end in abortion. Multiple factors influence the incidence of abortion. These factors include access to health care services, including contraception; the availability of abortion providers; state regulations, such as mandatory waiting periods, parental involvement laws, and legal restrictions on abortion providers; increasing acceptance of nonmarital childbearing; shifts in the racial/ethnic composition of the U.S. population; and changes in the economy and the resulting impact on fertility preferences and use of contraception. However, because unintended pregnancy precedes nearly all abortions, efforts to reduce the incidence of abortion need to focus on helping women, men, and couples avoid pregnancies that they do not desire.”

I have walked the pro-lifer walk. I have talked the pro-lifer talk. I have been to protests. I have cried over the thought of “innocent babies” dying. I get it; abortion is a hard notion to accept. But do you know what is even harder? Caring for unwanted children who end up in the system thanks to irresponsible parents; Watching a mother cry because she does no know how she is going to pay for her child’s healthcare if (when) ACA is retracted; Hearing about children dying from lead poisoning in Flint because the government is too fucking cheap to fix the plumbing; Knowing there are starving, homeless children in our country while the Republicans bitch about building a damn wall, invade sacred Native American land, sell off National Parks to the highest bidder, and conceive (pun intended) ways in which to restrict the rights of women and their ability to choose what they do to their own bodies. 

Pro-lifers are pro-let’s-save-a-non-viable-wad-of-cells-but-defund-welfare-and-ACA. They want to spare a 21wk fetus with an obvious deformity that will suffer and not survive long after birth, but they want to ban Syrian orphan refugees from coming in to our country. They care more about a mother giving birth to an unwanted baby (even if it means they will end up in the system) than they do about funding sexual education and contraception. They want legal, safe abortions to end at the expense of the possibility of a woman losing her life during an illegal, unsafe one. How is a fetus’s life more important than her’s? You see, pro-lifers have it all wrong because they are not pro-life. They are pro-birth.

[thegoldandsugar-blog]

AROUND 365



This is the “shameless”  me heading home,in a matatu booming loud crunk and some silly Fetty Wap crysongs( yeaaaah bae…),from a place that took me dosens of courage bundles and self discipline to atleast gather guts to leave ; of course there’s always a bunch of sinners trying to drive your faith into badlands where there are no parents you have to report to, in full detail, as to why you are having bad dreams about coming home late, since God is gracing them with a whole pack of awesomeness, so somehow you get home eleven deep night and your old man goes like “do you want us to lie outside watching the stars, reciting poetry into the thin air?” Ring! Ring! Wake up! Run away from them as first as you can’t since all you do is drink senator cage in a local bar so you got a belly looking like you Swallowed a giant drumstick without chewing but all is good though, Ladies still f-audio censor,  tiiiiiingg!- with you. 

Text Reference  ( Punctuality  - never mistake its power in your peace at home especially when lecturers are on strike and home is one place people  will have to bear with your loud disturbing singing of a weird genre of music for a very long time, like long!) 

Okay. I was about to narrate stories from where I’m from. A friend’s place, as always. Been there for some couple of days if you are using the high timeline (sometimes you wish you could wake up and spend a day just human, your lungs full of fresh air and the liver on vacation in Ibiza but there’s always that call from one your so called ninjas - “i swear this sh*t is lit, last night i was smoked and felt so astronaut."  Then they sum the deal with that notoriously famous phrase "there also a few girls too”. God forbid the things that construction of grammar does to our brains,  all the way to a lame excuse like "my friend’s cousin passed away, im going to console with them tonight". Remember to ask how many times that good friend has  had to kill you to show up at your ‘predicted-to-be-lit’  party with no girl or a bottle of cheap whisky, in contrary with demands and instructions highlighted in the invitation on WhatsApp.A very serious violation of the turn up ratio principles and high accords.  

Now, Now,Now. It was a good night from where i come from, I mean it was considerable damage to the body having spent the whole week sleeping, eating, doing nothing! That "Jack with no play is a dull boy"  philosophy is something i hold so dear to my heart people. So some green leaf combustion to release healthy carbon killing  cancer cells, initiating  some brain rebooting and application updates was going on after a day full of similar  happenings in a location from which i telepoted to this place where i leave fellow sinners going on with the quests for higher clouds. One thing is we didn’t know how we found ourselves here but damn! We’re a bunch of lost warthogs, we don’t remember sh*t and that, is one reason we’re so happy  ( Lord help them see their lives) 

As the routine prescribes it to be, i mean some random confessions about how elevated one feels ; in the skies flying with stokes, delivering babies to fellow men who apparently… ( ladies and gentlemen, the next statement has been written out of utmost respect for all men and if not, my apologies)… Shoot blanks!  Then you feel so amazing and amidst all these good things are stupid moments like "this stash is fine bruh, whom did you buy it from? Especially when you were the same single person in that clique that knows all the sellers in your area and individually went to purchase the magic wands, YOURSELF!   If you were in a serious session then you don’t miss an Einstein moment during which numerous brainstorms are battering your skull, exploding with billions of ideas about the cosmos and the relationship between FIFA 17 and Heaven (sometimes you might fail to grip the difference but brethren! Brethren! ) . Of course it doesn’t go without mentioning the various “facts”  and concrete reasons as to why your extremely silly arguments came to existence, deserving a chunk of minutes set aside for their discussion and clarification. The beat of that EDM track is overwhelming your emotions and you hate your life. Why do you stay in such a cursed continent with black people and elephants which attract more love than the people themselves? You want to live in America, go to some dope college in Dallas, get paid a few dollars per hour( you’re a humble child from Africa,  with an ashy face since most of the vaseline is spent on other vital body checks and balances,  so “a few” will be okay), eat some McDonald’s burgers or Subway cookies  and mess with white boujee babes. This is one of those moments you wonder what your great grandfathers were doing when others were taken up for slavery now their generations living lavish in Beverly Hills. They must have been some lazy bunch i swear. Right now you could be some youth in Atlanta looking like a vintage ghost of Shakes Makena in the super strikers classics, with some gold tooth and a zombie rap style earning a thousand bucks with a name like "Kodak Black" ( may the gods have mercy) . Out of nowhere!  Upto where we are now you can sense the humour in your Hollywood aspirations so you laugh out loud, seconds before your mates join in, till that final time a rush of wisdom strikes one of you and asks what y'all laughing about, then you realize  there was actually no joke but then again, who cares?  The cycle continues.

This is what I’m thinking at that moment, my Einstein moment! What if our world was a just a setting of a game section played by a people of an elite dimension, the real world now. Let’s say like GTA stuff. So each one of us is a Trevor of some sought, your gamer is bad at racing, shooting and even finding locations because unfortunately he got no clue of the map and its purpose. Basically, his “gaming”  skills are on the garbage side of mediocre, lets say it’s a dumb ass potential school dropout trying to spend time away so evening can come and sleep, moral lesson - you’re a game over or busted(dead!) . In short, this type of game is that which was played 10 years ago by the urban kids with PS(long before the numbers) now they took all their old  junk to the countryside so relatives are trying to chase the trend. That’s how bad these imaginations are. I’m proud of myself, honestly. Of all these red-eyed fallen humans staring at me sharing this fiction, anticipating the next part of this  plot like the release of the next shooter episode in those pirate sites, over buffering connection,i think i have the best story! 

Come on now, you and i know that one guy that got  to tell false stories about his uncle and the many ladies who certainly find him a supermodel and can’t resist proclaiming their love all over social media. He’s always recording chest bare videos for his 316 Instagram followers or “with the boys”  captioned pictures, with the many Picsart filters, to his Facebook .Sometimes you’re there in your zone thinking why you tolerate such characters in your outcast living till it hits you that you were not blessed with the sweet slippery tongue to lure in all the pretty girls to your parties that he professionally possesses. He’s always there to save your thirst,as long as he doesn’t pay for any other activity. ( sniper tings, put some hashtags on that). 

Drifting down this plot, this is the best deal of this turnt up business! The ladies. The sweet ladies that accepted to be part of a life saving campaign as far as your boring day is concerned , God bless their tolerance, even I wouldn’t dare to give my number to myself, let alone answering to a "Form call". You can’t believe what we tell you the next day but that part about you pulling some Grrrrrh ! Grrrrh!  to a “rrrrraah”,   lecturing a dab session for the song "panda"  to a girl smiling sheepishly, balancing on wobbly worn out feet asking silly sad questions at the corner is a true story. One in which your vampire qualities are activated so you are frequently seen in dark corners and poorly lit corridors serving as blindspots for the prosperity of your uncouth behaviours inspired by a great deal of moral decay.You somehow want to walk to that girl sitting on the couch and whisper “that’s some fine piece of beef you carry  back there”  but then you realise she’s still on the other side of town and the joke may not have a required reciprocate , enough slaps today, more drugs for her. Now you’ve changed your mind about her, “noo, she’s too rachet bruh, too rachet! Don’t play yourself! ” ( the boys up there are in serious analysis and checks - you can even establish family backgrounds of all your friends by sight alone. Of course these are the same boys that  save the day from the rant of your father) Before processing the next thought, the stomach is up. Dear Munchies, even the ice cubes seem edible : bottomline, this hunger is pure evil with lots of malice! Hunger games catching fire! The moment you come out of the house, dusk has come, an end of a new day, the same day you had promised to show up at home before noon. Change of course now. A few  minutes later, you’re in this mat’ writing this silly story that probably no one  will like even after laughing to it because you are not any lady posting a "#lipgame"  pic with an inspirational quote like, "throw me to the wolves and I’ll come back leading the pack" (why is social media so heartless? It’s like, liking your fellow ninja’s post is gay!) . It’s still the same you caring not to make any close eye contact with other passengers at this point because unfortunately, your eyes can tell it all. You know there are thousands of grammatical mistakes all over this composition but what are edits for? Furthermore this is a good piece, fruits of "the stash" and next time you’re called up yonder, you won’t hesitate. See your life! 



[allenmendezsr]

Eat Sleep Burn

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Please send me your comments, testimonials, success stories and questions. I would love to hear from you.

[allenmendezsr]

Eat Sleep Burn

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Available Worldwide 60 Day Money-Back Guarantee

Why You’ll Get Into Fat Burning Mode With Eat, Sleep, Burn More Quickly Than With Regular Diets That Take Months To Achieve (If Ever…)

In Eat, Sleep, Burn you’ll discover the simple secret to losing weight PERMANENTLY without any more exercise than you’re getting now and without ever feeling like you’re on a “diet” at all…

When you enroll in the program, I’ll give you immediate access to my secret “Slim Sleep Tea” recipe. You’ll learn the EXACT ratio of spices, tea, and other ingredients designed to massively maintain a healthy metabolism and turn your body into a white-fat destroying machine.

And, you know what?

Honestly, JUST giving you the TEA recipe would probably be enough to change your life forever. I mean, if you can’t even make yourself drink a cup of tea every morning I don’t think ANYBODY could help you lose weight.

But because I’ve dedicated my life to SERVING my fellow man and because I was raised to always OVER DELIVER, I’m going to give you A LOT more than that.

In The “Eat, Sleep, Burn” program you’ll learn…

Dan’s legendary 28-Day Metabolic Reset — The simple lifestyle shifts in the Eat Sleep Burn program will completely reprogram your body to burn ugly belly fat

10x how fast you lose weight, you have the option of using this super simple — do anywhere — exercise program…And because it doesn’t require ANY gym equipment you can do it without ever leaving your house

The Exact “Sleep Slim Tea” recipe that Todd and I used to transform our sleep habits, life, and bodies

A 21-minute exercise for fat burn. You’ll get access to the scientifically proven most efficient way to exercise for weight loss

How to maintain a flat, strong belly that puts the “gym bunnies” to shame without ever feeling like you’re “working out” at all… strategically created to reset your hormones to reduce hunger and eliminate cravings

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I barely have time to tell you about…

The “Limitless Potential” System — What if a few extra tweaks to your daily routine could help you tap into just 10% more of your mind and body’s boundless potential… What about 20% or 50% or more…Not only is it possible. It’s actually easy to do if you know the simple “hacks” Dan has assembled in the Limitless Potential System

Simple little habits you can add to your daily routine designed to help your body recover from the strains of daily life, exercise, work stress, environmental pollutants and more

Your 21 days of FREE access to Dan’s award-winning online coaching program… you’ll be getting exclusive emails from Dan where he shares his most important new insights and discoveries with you. Plus… As soon as you finish your enrollment you’ll instantly be added to our secret closed Facebook group where you have motivation and ACCOUNTABILITY you need to stick to the program and get the amazing results I’ve promised you here today.

DON’T MISS OUT!

ADD TO CART

Available Worldwide 60 Day Money-Back Guarantee

I reclaimed my life, energy, CONFIDENCE, and the fun loving playfulness that I missed so much about myself.

Brenda LOST 76 lbs and went from a size 18 to a size 5!

And Barry lost 25 lbs and shocked his doctor who said, “You have the heart health of a young man again”!

Pat lost 40 lbs at age 54, banished her sore knees and back, and actually increased her strength and healthy lean muscle without lifting any weights.

Then there’s Kym who dropped 30 lbs and went from 28% bodyfat to 13%.

Make no mistake… now their success can be YOUR success. The Eat, Sleep, Burn system is so simple you can literally start tonight. And you’ll have it in your hands in the next 2 minutes. Simply use the button below to get started now and claim your massive limited-time discount.

DON’T MISS OUT!

ADD TO CART

Available Worldwide 60 Day Money-Back Guarantee

Now: If there’s a still a little voice in the back of your head that isn’t quite sure…

Let me do one more thing to make this the easiest choice of your life…

And to make sure you don’t let “fear of regret” keep you from taking advantage of this wonderful offer…

See, I want you to feel deep in your heart and deep in your soul that you’re getting an incredible deal that you can be proud of…

Heck, I want you to feel like you “put one over on me” by doing what I know you want to do so badly and enrolling in the program today…

That’s why I’ve got 3 Very Special Presents for you just for saying “Maybe” to “Eat, Sleep, Burn” today…

First I’ll give you Dan’s legendary 28-Day Metabolic Reset

The simple lifestyle shifts in the Eat Sleep Burn program will completely reprogram your body to burn ugly belly fat. However, if you’d like to 10x how fast you lose weight, you have the option of using this super simple — do anywhere — exercise program. And because it doesn’t require ANY gym equipment you can do it without ever leaving your house…

You will lose belly fat just by following the lessons in Eat Sleep Burn.

Yet if you enjoy exercising then the “28-Day Metabolic Reset” gives you the fastest weight loss in the least amount of time. Because most folks are wasting their time spinning their wheels on a treadmill or elliptical trainer… we want to make sure YOU have access to the scientifically proven most efficient way to exercise for weight loss.

It takes just 21 minutes a day. It uses bodyweight exercises only.

Not only will this exercise program burn off your belly fat, it is also strategically created to reset your hormones to reduce hunger and eliminate cravings. You’ll be shocked at how gentle and simple these movements are…

And you’ll able to get a flat, strong belly that puts the “gym bunnies” to shame without ever feeling like you’re “working out” at all.

Your second present is your Eat Sleep Burn “Limitless Potential” System

What if a few extra tweaks to your daily routine could help you tap into just 10% more of your mind and body’s boundless potential? What about 20% or 50% or more?

Not only is it possible. It’s actually easy to do if you know the simple “hacks” Dan has assembled in the Limitless Potential System. And it’s all down to simple little habits you can add to your daily routine designed to help your body recover from the strains of daily life, exercise, work stress, environmental pollutants and more.

Dan forged these strategies working with athletes and movie stars who are desperate for even the slightest edge.

By engineering rapid mental and physical recovery using these scientifically proven “hacks”. Dan has easily doubled or tripled the athletic potential of his clients…and slashed in half the time it takes for his movie star clients to get in shape for the camera.

And now, for the first time, you can enjoy the massive boost to your own mental, physical, and professional performance.

Maybe you’re wondering what that might look like…Well, Dan’s new client Julie did nothing except apply the habits in the Limitless Potential System and lost 4 lbs of belly fat… just by allowing her body to recover so that her fat burning metabolism could perform at 100%…

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg… I don’t even have time to get into the amazing effects these habits will have on your immune system, your ability to quickly heal from an injury, and the near-miraculous restorative effects on your health…

Your third present is something special. In fact, I can’t do this for everyone

It’s easily the gift I’m most excited about giving you!…

Because it’s 21 days of FREE access to Dan’s award-winning online coaching program…

Listen: No matter how hard we work to make Eat Sleep Burn the most complete and easy-to-follow system it can be, there are always going to be questions and particular situations that come up that we just can’t cover in the material…

That’s why we want to give you 21 days of PERSONAL coaching with Dan and his staff…

First, you’ll be getting exclusive emails from Dan where he shares his most important new insights and discoveries with you. Plus…

As soon as you finish your enrollment you’ll instantly be added to our secret closed Facebook group where you can ask any question you want, network and bond with other folks going on the exact same journey and get the motivation and ACCOUNTABILITY you need to stick to the program and get the amazing results I’ve promised you here today…

So let’s add this all up just so you can see for yourself what a great deal you’re actually getting.

With your special discount you’ll get the complete “Eat Sleep Burn” program for just $37.

We already agreed that “Eat Sleep Burn” is worth at least $97 all by itself so that’s already a pretty great deal.

But then, at no additional charge at all, you’re also getting:

The Eat Sleep Burn “Limitless Potential” System

The 28-Day Metabolic Reset program

AND 21 days of our ELITE Personal Coaching

And each of those should probably sell for $97 or more all by themselves too…

If you were at the supermarket that would all add up to…

$287!

DON’T MISS OUT!

ADD TO CART

Available Worldwide 60 Day Money-Back Guarantee

Here’s how it works:

Just enroll in “Eat Sleep Burn” right now…

USE the material… (It’s so easy to use and as close to “Done For You” as humanly possible.)

See for yourself how EASY getting a taut, firm, FLAT belly and watching the pounds FALL off — literally overnight — can actually be. Experience what it’s like to double your energy and wake up every morning ready to take on the world instead of yearning to just hit the snooze button until noon!

If you don’t think “Eat Sleep Burn” is worth at least double what you’re paying today, just contact my customer service at service@eatsleepburn.com any time in the next 60 days.

And you’ll get every dime back as fast as we can.

Now, you might ask why exactly am I being so generous?

That’s a very good question… And I’ve got two answers for you.

The first is kind of selfish…

After sinking every minute of my off-duty time tweaking and experimenting with Dan’s methods to make them as EASY as possible for you to enjoy… after experiencing first hand how it changed my life, saved Todd’s life, and renewed our marriage… I just want to make sure it gets out there and helps as many people as possible to create the body you desire so much and reclaim the energy, joy and health you deserve…

The second answer is maybe a little “sappy” I guess…

It’s because I want this for you… I want you to feel what I have felt… I want you to experience what it’s like to look in the mirror AND LOVE what you see…

To get compliments from random people on the street on how fit and healthy you are… To actually get EXCITED about walking around with your belly exposed because of the stares it draws and how POWERFUL it makes you feel…

To feel like you are bursting with more energy and excitement than you’ve felt since you were a kid.

And if I have to put myself out there a bit to help you? I’ll gladly do just that.

And all you have to do is click the button on this page now… Because I can guarantee this will work for you.

In fact, even though Eat Sleep Burn works best if you have at least 15 lbs to lose, even folks who thought they were already in amazing shape have been shocked by what happens when they use Dan’s methods.

Like Kristin who started with a body I would have been envious of, and turned it into a simply beautiful, toned and athletic physique.

Or Trevor who already looked great at the beach, then sculpted himself an absolutely shredded body worthy of a Roman marble god.

And Tanya who crafted herself a bikini body worthy of a magazine cover in just 8 weeks.

DON’T MISS OUT!

ADD TO CART

Available Worldwide 60 Day Money-Back Guarantee

I truly look forward to hearing about your weight loss success using Dan’s Eat, Sleep, Burn system. Join the ranks and add your own raving reviews!

Please send me your comments, testimonials, success stories and questions. I would love to hear from you.

[allenmendezsr]

Eat Sleep Burn

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/eat-sleep-burn/

Eat Sleep Burn

 Buy Now

    DON’T MISS OUT!

ADD TO CART

Available Worldwide 60 Day Money-Back Guarantee

Why You’ll Get Into Fat Burning Mode With Eat, Sleep, Burn More Quickly Than With Regular Diets That Take Months To Achieve (If Ever…)

In Eat, Sleep, Burn you’ll discover the simple secret to losing weight PERMANENTLY without any more exercise than you’re getting now and without ever feeling like you’re on a “diet” at all…

When you enroll in the program, I’ll give you immediate access to my secret “Slim Sleep Tea” recipe. You’ll learn the EXACT ratio of spices, tea, and other ingredients designed to massively maintain a healthy metabolism and turn your body into a white-fat destroying machine.

And, you know what?

Honestly, JUST giving you the TEA recipe would probably be enough to change your life forever. I mean, if you can’t even make yourself drink a cup of tea every morning I don’t think ANYBODY could help you lose weight.

But because I’ve dedicated my life to SERVING my fellow man and because I was raised to always OVER DELIVER, I’m going to give you A LOT more than that.

In The “Eat, Sleep, Burn” program you’ll learn…

Dan’s legendary 28-Day Metabolic Reset — The simple lifestyle shifts in the Eat Sleep Burn program will completely reprogram your body to burn ugly belly fat

10x how fast you lose weight, you have the option of using this super simple — do anywhere — exercise program…And because it doesn’t require ANY gym equipment you can do it without ever leaving your house

The Exact “Sleep Slim Tea” recipe that Todd and I used to transform our sleep habits, life, and bodies

A 21-minute exercise for fat burn. You’ll get access to the scientifically proven most efficient way to exercise for weight loss

How to maintain a flat, strong belly that puts the “gym bunnies” to shame without ever feeling like you’re “working out” at all… strategically created to reset your hormones to reduce hunger and eliminate cravings

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I barely have time to tell you about…

The “Limitless Potential” System — What if a few extra tweaks to your daily routine could help you tap into just 10% more of your mind and body’s boundless potential… What about 20% or 50% or more…Not only is it possible. It’s actually easy to do if you know the simple “hacks” Dan has assembled in the Limitless Potential System

Simple little habits you can add to your daily routine designed to help your body recover from the strains of daily life, exercise, work stress, environmental pollutants and more

Your 21 days of FREE access to Dan’s award-winning online coaching program… you’ll be getting exclusive emails from Dan where he shares his most important new insights and discoveries with you. Plus… As soon as you finish your enrollment you’ll instantly be added to our secret closed Facebook group where you have motivation and ACCOUNTABILITY you need to stick to the program and get the amazing results I’ve promised you here today.

DON’T MISS OUT!

ADD TO CART

Available Worldwide 60 Day Money-Back Guarantee

I reclaimed my life, energy, CONFIDENCE, and the fun loving playfulness that I missed so much about myself.

Brenda LOST 76 lbs and went from a size 18 to a size 5!

And Barry lost 25 lbs and shocked his doctor who said, “You have the heart health of a young man again”!

Pat lost 40 lbs at age 54, banished her sore knees and back, and actually increased her strength and healthy lean muscle without lifting any weights.

Then there’s Kym who dropped 30 lbs and went from 28% bodyfat to 13%.

Make no mistake… now their success can be YOUR success. The Eat, Sleep, Burn system is so simple you can literally start tonight. And you’ll have it in your hands in the next 2 minutes. Simply use the button below to get started now and claim your massive limited-time discount.

DON’T MISS OUT!

ADD TO CART

Available Worldwide 60 Day Money-Back Guarantee

Now: If there’s a still a little voice in the back of your head that isn’t quite sure…

Let me do one more thing to make this the easiest choice of your life…

And to make sure you don’t let “fear of regret” keep you from taking advantage of this wonderful offer…

See, I want you to feel deep in your heart and deep in your soul that you’re getting an incredible deal that you can be proud of…

Heck, I want you to feel like you “put one over on me” by doing what I know you want to do so badly and enrolling in the program today…

That’s why I’ve got 3 Very Special Presents for you just for saying “Maybe” to “Eat, Sleep, Burn” today…

First I’ll give you Dan’s legendary 28-Day Metabolic Reset

The simple lifestyle shifts in the Eat Sleep Burn program will completely reprogram your body to burn ugly belly fat. However, if you’d like to 10x how fast you lose weight, you have the option of using this super simple — do anywhere — exercise program. And because it doesn’t require ANY gym equipment you can do it without ever leaving your house…

You will lose belly fat just by following the lessons in Eat Sleep Burn.

Yet if you enjoy exercising then the “28-Day Metabolic Reset” gives you the fastest weight loss in the least amount of time. Because most folks are wasting their time spinning their wheels on a treadmill or elliptical trainer… we want to make sure YOU have access to the scientifically proven most efficient way to exercise for weight loss.

It takes just 21 minutes a day. It uses bodyweight exercises only.

Not only will this exercise program burn off your belly fat, it is also strategically created to reset your hormones to reduce hunger and eliminate cravings. You’ll be shocked at how gentle and simple these movements are…

And you’ll able to get a flat, strong belly that puts the “gym bunnies” to shame without ever feeling like you’re “working out” at all.

Your second present is your Eat Sleep Burn “Limitless Potential” System

What if a few extra tweaks to your daily routine could help you tap into just 10% more of your mind and body’s boundless potential? What about 20% or 50% or more?

Not only is it possible. It’s actually easy to do if you know the simple “hacks” Dan has assembled in the Limitless Potential System. And it’s all down to simple little habits you can add to your daily routine designed to help your body recover from the strains of daily life, exercise, work stress, environmental pollutants and more.

Dan forged these strategies working with athletes and movie stars who are desperate for even the slightest edge.

By engineering rapid mental and physical recovery using these scientifically proven “hacks”. Dan has easily doubled or tripled the athletic potential of his clients…and slashed in half the time it takes for his movie star clients to get in shape for the camera.

And now, for the first time, you can enjoy the massive boost to your own mental, physical, and professional performance.

Maybe you’re wondering what that might look like…Well, Dan’s new client Julie did nothing except apply the habits in the Limitless Potential System and lost 4 lbs of belly fat… just by allowing her body to recover so that her fat burning metabolism could perform at 100%…

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg… I don’t even have time to get into the amazing effects these habits will have on your immune system, your ability to quickly heal from an injury, and the near-miraculous restorative effects on your health…

Your third present is something special. In fact, I can’t do this for everyone

It’s easily the gift I’m most excited about giving you!…

Because it’s 21 days of FREE access to Dan’s award-winning online coaching program…

Listen: No matter how hard we work to make Eat Sleep Burn the most complete and easy-to-follow system it can be, there are always going to be questions and particular situations that come up that we just can’t cover in the material…

That’s why we want to give you 21 days of PERSONAL coaching with Dan and his staff…

First, you’ll be getting exclusive emails from Dan where he shares his most important new insights and discoveries with you. Plus…

As soon as you finish your enrollment you’ll instantly be added to our secret closed Facebook group where you can ask any question you want, network and bond with other folks going on the exact same journey and get the motivation and ACCOUNTABILITY you need to stick to the program and get the amazing results I’ve promised you here today…

So let’s add this all up just so you can see for yourself what a great deal you’re actually getting.

With your special discount you’ll get the complete “Eat Sleep Burn” program for just $37.

We already agreed that “Eat Sleep Burn” is worth at least $97 all by itself so that’s already a pretty great deal.

But then, at no additional charge at all, you’re also getting:

The Eat Sleep Burn “Limitless Potential” System

The 28-Day Metabolic Reset program

AND 21 days of our ELITE Personal Coaching

And each of those should probably sell for $97 or more all by themselves too…

If you were at the supermarket that would all add up to…

$287!

DON’T MISS OUT!

ADD TO CART

Available Worldwide 60 Day Money-Back Guarantee

Here’s how it works:

Just enroll in “Eat Sleep Burn” right now…

USE the material… (It’s so easy to use and as close to “Done For You” as humanly possible.)

See for yourself how EASY getting a taut, firm, FLAT belly and watching the pounds FALL off — literally overnight — can actually be. Experience what it’s like to double your energy and wake up every morning ready to take on the world instead of yearning to just hit the snooze button until noon!

If you don’t think “Eat Sleep Burn” is worth at least double what you’re paying today, just contact my customer service at service@eatsleepburn.com any time in the next 60 days.

And you’ll get every dime back as fast as we can.

Now, you might ask why exactly am I being so generous?

That’s a very good question… And I’ve got two answers for you.

The first is kind of selfish…

After sinking every minute of my off-duty time tweaking and experimenting with Dan’s methods to make them as EASY as possible for you to enjoy… after experiencing first hand how it changed my life, saved Todd’s life, and renewed our marriage… I just want to make sure it gets out there and helps as many people as possible to create the body you desire so much and reclaim the energy, joy and health you deserve…

The second answer is maybe a little “sappy” I guess…

It’s because I want this for you… I want you to feel what I have felt… I want you to experience what it’s like to look in the mirror AND LOVE what you see…

To get compliments from random people on the street on how fit and healthy you are… To actually get EXCITED about walking around with your belly exposed because of the stares it draws and how POWERFUL it makes you feel…

To feel like you are bursting with more energy and excitement than you’ve felt since you were a kid.

And if I have to put myself out there a bit to help you? I’ll gladly do just that.

And all you have to do is click the button on this page now… Because I can guarantee this will work for you.

In fact, even though Eat Sleep Burn works best if you have at least 15 lbs to lose, even folks who thought they were already in amazing shape have been shocked by what happens when they use Dan’s methods.

Like Kristin who started with a body I would have been envious of, and turned it into a simply beautiful, toned and athletic physique.

Or Trevor who already looked great at the beach, then sculpted himself an absolutely shredded body worthy of a Roman marble god.

And Tanya who crafted herself a bikini body worthy of a magazine cover in just 8 weeks.

DON’T MISS OUT!

ADD TO CART

Available Worldwide 60 Day Money-Back Guarantee

I truly look forward to hearing about your weight loss success using Dan’s Eat, Sleep, Burn system. Join the ranks and add your own raving reviews!

Please send me your comments, testimonials, success stories and questions. I would love to hear from you.