#HealthCoding

[mysterygrl20]

SailubPon | This Love Doesn’t Have Long Beans

[limblesstar]

no one understands my need for odysseus to be a bitchass line cook in his 40s with his 27 year old coworker diomedes. yes diomedes is the head chef, yes theyre violating so many health codes.

[knowlesian]

one of my favorite games to play whenever i rewatch the bear is “spot the very realistic health code/basic kitchen rule violations”

so far my favorite is one of the ones i’ve never seen mentioned: how often people wear their aprons outside the kitchen, which is absolutely a no-no and equally absolutely happens all the goddamned time and i am speaking from a lot of experience on that one

[a-hazbin-spider]

@overlordhusk "oh, excuse me..."

“Ex- oh.” There’s a few owlish blinks before the spider smooths himself over, looking a little less like his appearance had been seasoned with GangBang. This one looked… fancy. “Heya, handsome. Ain’t get a lotta fellas classy lookin as you. You lookin’ for a good time?”

@overlordhusk

[sanpape]

people keep complaining that senshi isn't wearing a beard net as if I didn't make the two harriest characters chefs on purpose 😭

[miss-floral-thief]

shame i can't cook well

[a-hazbin-spider]

“Be still my beatin’ heart.” His head shakes, an amused scoff returned for his mumblings. It was a little of a decision to make though. His ass had made a rather quick climb to spouting some deep end whatever bullshit. “Hmm, I’ll take another drink with ya, since you’ll have me. Very generous of you to spare a lil time.”

"Look, I've been awake for almost sixty hours straight. I'm tired and I'm dirty. I've been from Chicago to Paris, to Dallas, to... where the hell am I?" Or

"You can be a little too old for a lot of things, but you’re never too old to be afraid."

@a-hazbin-spider 👉👈

"You can be a little too old for a lot of things, but you're never to old to be afraid."

Husk blinked as he met Angel's gaze, surprised to hear such wise words come from the spider. He shook his head as if to clear it and looked down at the glass he was cleaning. "Yeah... You're right about that one, Legs." He muttered, fixing the spider another drink. "No matter how old you get, there's always something to be afraid of."

[mysterygrl20]

HEALTHCODE VIOLATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(but will it have long beans?)😏

[auspicioustidings]

I know it's dumb but I love a competing small businesses AU. 141 who run a burger van and are always being sneaky in order to get the best spot, the one you who runs a little artisanal baked good truck wants. It's absolute warfare made worse by you finding Ghost fucking Soap up against the back of your truck the day you finally get the good spot.

"Well he isnae going tae rearrange my guts at our van, be a healthcode violation."

[a-hazbin-spider]

Ah, poor bastard. Looked wore down just about indefinitely. And Angel had a spare trenchcoat- or, one he ain’t needed now that he’s inside. Over the cat’s back it goes, makeshift blankey-time. Prosper old drunkard.

Don't mind Husk, he's slowly falling asleep at the bar.

Seems like the cat had a long day.

[kybercrystals94]

As Luck Would Have It

Read here on Ao3!

Whumptober 2024 - Day 17 - Prompt: "We had a good run."

Rated: G | Words: 784

“Hey! Who threw my lucky blacks in the trash bin!” 

Echo sighs. He thought he had buried those things deep enough Wrecker wouldn’t notice. “Why are you digging through the bin?” 

Wrecker holds the undersuit close to his chest like they are his most precious possession. “You threw them away? Why?” 

“It’s a scientific wonder those things haven’t simply disintegrated,” Tech says, not looking up from his latest project taking up the barrack’s table. “Let them go, Wrecker.”

 “No, they’re fine!” Wrecker shakes out the garment before lovingly wadding them up in a ball. 

“Are you kriffing serious?” Echo asks, appalled. He begins counting on his fingers, using his scomp to point at each digit for emphasis. “They’re threadbare. They’re covered in holes. They smell like something crawled into them, died, and decomposed.” That last point counted for three. 

Tech chuckles. “That is an apt description.” 

“If I washed them, it would wash the luck off,” Wrecker says as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. 

“You haven’t washed them?” Echo cries. “Wrecker! That has to be a healthcode violation!” 

 Wrecker shoves the wad of cloth in his crate, and kicks the box under his bed. “What does it matter to you?” he asks. “They aren’t hurting anyone.” 

“The smell brings literal tears to my eyes!” Echo argues.

Wrecker smiles. “Not my fault you’re so sensitive.” 

Echo rolls his eyes. Obviously, this is an argument he is not going to win. 

**

Crosshair puts a hand over his nose. “Ugh, what is that vile smell?” 

 “Aw, shut up, Cross, they’re not that bad,” Wrecker says, pulling his offensive blacks from his pack. 

“They smell worse than they’ve ever smelled! What did you do to them?” 

Wrecker scowls. “Echo tried throwing them away, so I had to hide them. They never got a chance to air out.” 

“Kriff, you had one job, Echo,” Crosshair gripes. 

“He literally dug them out of the trash,” Echo grumbles, putting his helmet on and making sure the filter is on. 

“I don’t go around throwing away your guys’ stuff,” Wrecker grumbles. 

“Tell you what,” Crosshair says. “If I ever become insane enough to have something that disgusting, you have permission to burn it.”

Wrecker mutters something rude in Huttese, and begins to try untangling the limbs of the undersuit from their wadded mass. As he works at a particularly difficult knot, there is a loud ripping sound. Wrecker gasps. “Oh, no!” 

“You can’t honestly be surprised,” Crosshair deadpans. “Those threads were held together by filth alone.” 

“No, no, you don’t understand. I need these!” Wrecker cries, and Echo is stunned to realize that the giant is actually crying. 

If the startled look on Crosshair’s face is anything to go by, the sniper is just as surprised. 

Wrecker drops down into one of the crash seats, cradling the torn blacks in his hands. “I was wearing these the day that detonation went wrong,” he says, voice thick. He reaches up and touches the scars on the side of his head. “Could’ve killed me, but it didn’t. Ever–” his voice breaks, and he starts again. “Ever since, whenever I feel nervous about a mission, I’d wear these blacks, and nothing bad would happen, or if it did, it would turn out okay, ya know?” 

The tearful confession leaves Echo feeling lousy for trying to throw the blacks away to begin with.

“Listen, Wrecker,” Crosshair says. “Those blacks can’t do kark.” 

Echo scowls at the sniper. He isn’t helping. At all. 

But the man isn’t finished. “But if they could,” he continues, “you wouldn’t have to wear the whole thing for them to work. Here, give them to me.” 

Wrecker hesitates, sniffs, but hands the ruined article over. 

Crosshair pulls out a short blade, finds the cuff off one sleeve, and cuts it off. He holds up the circle of fabric. “Wear this. It’ll work the same.” 

“How do you know?” Wrecker asks, taking the cuff and slipping it over his wrist. 

“Because I said so,” Crosshair says. “If you can decide that a pair of blacks is good luck, I can decide that one cuff is just as lucky. Besides, now you can wear it all the time without worrying about it falling off your body.” 

Wrecker gives Crosshair a wobbly smile. “Thanks, Cross.” 

“Don’t mention it,” Crosshair grunts. He holds out the remainder of the fabric. “Now get rid of these before the noxious fumes kill one of us.”

Wrecker takes them, stroking the mutilated threads. “We had a good run,” he tells them. 

Crosshair rolls his eyes, but there is no heat in the action.   

Echo grins under his helmet. He knew the man was soft. 

END

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[fandomfairyuniverse]

Guys!!! We have healthcode violations tomorrow!!!

[a-hazbin-spider]

@sinnerxroulette (Husk) “Whose blood is that?”

@sinnerxroulette //

Sniff… Angel’s wrist rubs under his nose, glancing over his shoulder. Oh, he should have maybe expected that Husk would be hanging around. Maybe it wouldn’t do to worry the poor drunk with his bullshit. Should’ve thought about that before he forewent cleaning up. Ah shucks. “It ain’t bad as it looks. Most of it ain’t mine.”

Er… probably. He can and will brush this off-

[a-hazbin-spider]

@cxffeeshxp

“I didn’t remember asking you. Besides, it starts like this, and he’ll love it. I’m sure you’ve seen it b’fore. Probably why you’re bugging us in the first place. You can cut the white knight bullshit.” The demon uses a knowing tone, bearing his weight down over an increasingly angered Angel.

“Ain’t you heard him? Fuck off.” He bites back sourly, a grimace starting to sew into his features, eye starting to twitch. In front of Husk too. How fucking mortifying. At least he’s attempting to kick this guy off. It’s just… not working. Yet. If he hadn’t just worked another double shift? He might’ve been quick enough to just use a bottle. But here he was. Looking stupid in front of the barkeep.

@a-hazbin-spider || x

Husk would play it off as only stepping in because this was all happening in front of him, he wasn't sure if that's the only reason.

" Bub, if some one say they aren't interested, it's best to take that as a hint and fuck off. " Husk, for once, was glad he was fully sober. Wouldn't be able to shuffle his cards properly if he wasn't.

Definitely would need them.

[auspicioustidings]

I know it's dumb but I love a competing small businesses AU. 141 who run a burger van and are always being sneaky in order to get the best spot, the one you who runs a little artisanal baked good truck wants. It's absolute warfare made worse by you finding Ghost fucking Soap up against the back of your truck the day you finally get the good spot.

"Well he isnae going tae rearrange my guts at our van, be a healthcode violation."