#Holy shit im liek. LOOKING AT HIM HES SOOOOO PRETTY

[xamaxenta]

Holy fuckinf shit god bless RTX

[luvdsc]

hi miss cat sooooo i feel abit queasy rn?? idk so sTORY TIME :D i have this guy friend,,,, let's call him 'beer' (idk what to call him oKAy OHMYGOD) LMAO. his family and my family are pretty close but we only met personally in the beginning of last year since they moved here to my city and they didn't know anybody else in the area except me n my fam so not only did we helped them move in to their new place but we also helped them familiarize the area. and they would constantly go to our house and vice versa. me being anti social and introverted, i never really interacted with them much?? after eating i would just walk straight back to my room and lock myself up there until they're gone OR.... i would wait for them to leave so i could eat JKGFDJSDKS (i have social anxiety n interactions seem draining at times so i just avoid ppl i'm unfamiliar or uncomfy with ;-;). tURns out,,, we were the same age???? JDFKDKV me and 'beer' got close during my sister's bday party. it was just a small n intimate gathering (only like 5 ppl,, including me n my sis) nd he was invited. my sis was so drunk, we had to bring her up to her room and tuck her into bed,,, my sis friend was in the bathroom puking the night away JDFKSSJNK and the others were just either passed out drunk or just didnt wanna drink anymore. but there was so much drinks left and we didnt want to waste it, so me and 'beer' ended up tryna finish the cocktails that was made since it was such a waste to throw them out and since i was under the consumption of alcohol i became more outspoken and confident than i usually am JFVDSJKVDJK we had a couple drinks earlier so while we were abit tipsy and we looked like crazed people talking and giggling n shit,, we became close after that night. and from there, we became each other's designated "drinking buddies". IDK IF THATS AN ACTUAL THING BUT YEA :D LIEK, EVERYTIME WE DRINK LIKE WE'RE JUST ALWAYS TOGETHER, KINDA LIKE A DUO,, DRUNK PARTNERS IN CRIME OR WHATNOT JKDSKFFJV and we would even make bets on who's had more drinks or sumn. and as time went by, i noticed how he got alittle comfortable with me?? he'd try to like make advances or do some gentlemanly stuff (which he doesn't normally do around me??) at first i didn't rlly mind since he prob was tipsy or something. and then during new year’s,, as in when the clock struck 12 am,, he messaged me and confessed that he started harboring a crush on me and that he had feelings for me ;-; IDK WHAT TO REPLY SO I WAS LIKE: "HAHA U'RE PROB SHITFACED DRUNK RN,, GO TO SLEEP :)" and he was like: "nO IM SERIOUS, IHAVE FEELINGS 4 U, AND NO I DIDNT DRINK ANYTHING TODAY" KJFNXCSKJDVF I JUST LEFT HIM ON READ AFTER THAT CUS IDK WHAT TO DO?? HJSDNDFSKF ++ i'm not rlly into these kind of things and i just dont see him that way,,,, i'm the type wherein if i just don't see anything even just a teeny-tiny spark, it's just NO. + commitment scares me :( i just felt so scared n weirded out so after that i just started avoiding him :// there were times where his fam n him would stop by at our place so i literally just lock myself up in my room whenever they're there and wait til they left. but today, they came again and we all ate dinner together. i sat across him and he greeted me saying "hi". i can only offer him the most awkward smile cus i didn't wanna be rude to him infront of everybody. his sister literally squealed HJFDVKSJK and i think she knew what was going on LMAO. after eating, i went to the kitchen and i was just washing the dishes and he suddenly came in, he seemed so nervous i honestly felt bad :( and he was like tryna bring up the 'confession thing' but the tension was just so bad n awkward. and he was like,, "let me just wash the dishes" and i was like "nO, u're a guest just leave the dishes here and i'll wash) and we were just bickering back and fort having a banter of who's washing the dishes, but i just was so fed up i grabbed his plate and i washed it myself FJBKDNVSJF and he was like,, "we good?" im like"yea?? ig" KFDJNSS idk now it just feels weird, he's cool but i just dont rlly like

him that way and although i admire him for being honest with his feelings abt me, i just dont think we can hangout anymore like we used to. so yea im srry if this is so long holy shit im so sorry. i hope life been treating u well bub!! <33

bdudidkdnfjjdjd oh god, lovebug, this all sounds really awkward, and I totally get how you feel 🤧🤧 like when they say “we’re good?” it’s like that when you say that you’re fine but you’re not really fine meme fjjfkdkffkck 😀😀 because the friendship gets so awkward after that, and it sucks because you see him as a really good friend and really liked hanging out with each other but now feelings made everything weird and you’re never gonna be able to go back to how it was before because those feelings will always be on the back of your mind and the friendship is not the same and you eventually drift apart and god, it just really sucks to lose a friend /: it’s basically the eventual slow death of a friendship and it’s just so complicated and I’m sorry you have to go through that, honey bee ): I hope you’re able to work things out with him tho 💗 and thank you, honey bee !!!! Aside from this, I hope life has been treating you kindly as well, sweetpea 💕

[conchstellations]

watching the 1990 LOTF movie!! my reactions:

hello all!!!! i was bored at midnight again so here it is: me watchin the 1990 movie, for the first time, hell yeah!!!!! here we go!!! its got the other movie to live up to, so im excited for a comedy lmao!! tl;dr at end if u want!!! its kinda long btw lmao

- castle rock entertainment??? piggy u better watch out bro

- fuck is that the pilot???

- k this isnt a big thing but why are they in water? the plane left a scar in the earth, they were on land.

- okay, again, me nitpicking. but idk, to me, they dont look 12?? maybe its just cause theyre all dressed up n that but they dont look like 12 yr olds to me like the last movie

- why tf does ralph (?) have a glowstick lmaooooo

- why are they all together. where is my conch. wher are my stupid ass choir outfits. maybe im not there yet and they have them, but i want my stupid cloaks!!! jack would not stand for this!!!

- why TF is the pilot alive???

- am i supposed to know whos who by now?? did i just miss that?? which ones ralph? which ones jack?? wheres simon???

- conch??? the conchs main job is to bring them together, and here theyre already together so???

- piggy already makin me love him gosh piggy is child

- okay so im guessing brown hair kid is ralph

- piggy protecting conch rights

- i do like piggys sass... very iconic

- okay whAT??? is that blonde kid supposed to be jack?? first off, jack has red hair. second off, there is no way in hELL THAT MY basTARD child jack merridew would let ralph win the election just like that??? wheres my choir??? wheres my c sharp???

- okay jack would for sure call piggy shitbrain nvm

- mY CHOIR WOULD NOT ACCEPT THAT SINGING. 

- wheres simon????

- r they fuckin cookin lizards??? nvm look away simon pls dont be in this

- is thAT BITCH supposed to be Simon?? hes got a lot to look up to. also why the FUCK is the adult alive. taht ruins the whole purpose of the entire book

- was that a dream??? sorry im dumb af lmao

- alrght simon is kind of an adorable hild and he likes lizard maybe hes valid?

- idk.. for some reason this ralph isnt like, giving me ralph vibes?? hes just not bring like ralphish u know??

- now im getting a little bit more of our beloved lil bitch ralph..

- okay wtf is going on lmao

- “SHOVE THEIR DICK IN THE CONCH” had me laughing for a solid fucking 30 minutes. william golding who??? whoever wrote that line is the new icon

- ‘EAT SHIT AND DIE”  okay wtffff im so confused but also vv entertained

- for some reason jack’s character is like 100% off, but also somehow 100% on point “thats exactly what i meant” like holy shit. like idk hes not jack but just sometimes he radiates “jack if he was allowed to swear and was less of a lil bitch” energy

- ok simon and lizard?? valid

- i swear to FUCKING GOD i will kill that child!!!

- im gonna cry. wtf. why would you kill his lizard. even this movie’s jack seems like he thinks thats fucked up and hes a psychopath. also, lemme say, at this point, i think most of the book characters would beat the shit out of someone if they were mean to simon like that, bc the choir were his friends, and ralphs tribe respected him, sooooo

- why tf is it simons job to take care of the adult that shouldnt even be there? liek wtf hes grieving asshole

- no fucking duh hes scared of everyone but simon i would be too 

- honestly kinda glad they let ralph say fuck he deserved it

- “back off man im sick of ur shit and sos my gang” fuckin got em

- let me guess pilot dude is the new beast???

- honestly wtf is goin on lmao

- okay piggys actor actually made me sd when he was crying about his glasses so good job

- simon comin through with the glowstick. also, good job simon

- well at least the lord of the flies looks terrifying as always

- are samneric putting on warpaint this early?? bc i WILL NOT stand for that shit. i am a samneric STAN Ok??? they were two of the tHREE left when simon died who didnt become cowards and go savage. they wree LOYAL to ralph until they were LITERALLY tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then they helped ralph!!!! so fuck u. samneric are better than that.

- oh simon :(

- im glad they actually kind of (?) shwed simon like with the pig head bc last movei it was just ike them flipping the camera from pig to si so idkk

- ok that was a pretty ralph move to bring up the fire 24/7 lmao

- piggytits?? tf

- simon with hus fuckin glowstick lmao

- awe, simon

- okay HOLY SHIT. the sounds of what i assume to be them fucking stabbing simon are horrific. and then that cut to simon’s fucking mutiliated corpse?? holy SHIT. like as much as im complaining, thats the gruesome shit i expect from this book. i was expecting them to shy away from it bc its so awful, but im SO glad they didnt, bc that gave me fuckin chills. finally, something i can praise them on. thats the lord of the flies i expect. 

- i feel bad for ralph.. good job

- ok good. samneric came back. good job again.

- ok. nvm. the disrespect to my loyal children. alright.

- okay that child screaming as hes being whipped?? wtf.

- ok that line of piggy being scared that the russians will take them nad make them go into the olympics? gold. 

- piggys laugh is so pure

- why the fuCK are they finding instruments lmao

- poor piggy

- did roger just wolf whistle at ralph what the fuck is going on

- holy SHIt this movie does not hold back on the blood. but, wheres my conch explosion?? if ur gonna show him getting hit u gotta show the conch exploding. although, the conch means like nothing in this movie lmao

- okay wow piggys dead body cool cool cool

- ralph fucking YEETED that kid to the ground lmao

- okay, ralph crying?? good acting

tl;dr/conclusion/my thoughts: hooooo boy so i see why everyone likes 1960 one better. 

first, lets start with the obvious: why this isnt lord of the flies. because its not. if this wasnt telling me that its lord of the flies, i would think of it as that, really. first off, the conch. the conch represents civility, it brings them together. its important. when piggy dies, it dies, representing how all civility is now gone. i maybe saw the conch three times this movie. didnt do anything.

second, the pilot, captain whatever. the point of the beast to me is that they made it up. sure, the corpse was real, but it didnt pose a threat, it was simply a corpse. they made it into what it was, therefore proving that they are the beast. sure, the pilot here was harmless, but he grbbed a boy’s foot and was therefore making himself a possible threat. maybe its not a big deal i guess.

third, the characters. the point of lord of the flies is that they are rich kids who havent gone through anything. theyre the perfect, spoiled kids who havent done anything wrong. half of them are in choir. chOIR. in this movie, lets take jack for example. they said he stole  a car and got sent to military school. no. the point of jack is that he was a perfect kid. leader of choir. he was manipulitive and got even ADULTS to trust him. its part of hs character, showing that this perfect choir leader kid went fucking insane to prove how literally everyone can be evil. also samneric???? the direspect!! they were loyal to ralph until they were tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then, after roger like beat the shit out of them, they were STILL loyal. fuck you.

so those are the MAIN reasons why it wasnt lotf. 

now, what i liked i guess.

the swearing was NOT lotf, and it didnt fit with the story, but ill admit that i laughed, so i guess thats a plus.

second, i liked how they showed the gore, i guess? sounds weird, hear me out. lord of the flies is a gruesome, violent, awful book. theres descriptions of death in detail, and im so glad they showed it. when simon’s body was there, literally torn to shreds? the shock of it, the true savagery you see that these boys murdered him SO violently, is amazing, because thats the essence of lotf. simons death shows how theyve lost all their civility, and showing such a gruesome corpse really brings that through. so good job.

and now, of course, the obvious: thats not the characters i pictured when i read the story. simon doesnt look like that, ralph doesnt look like that, jack doesnt look like that.

 where did the choir go, too? forgot to mention that, and i think that also adds into the whole, theyre supposed to be perfect kids and then become savage thing. also, the choir was a group. they voted for jack and went with him for a reason. 

so yea, thats that. dont know why people would read this lmao but thats my thoughts!!!! i just need to keep myself busy when i watch movies and to make sure i focused, i figured id just write down my thoughts as i went. if u wanna watch for free, look up lord of the flies 1990 google drive. 

;)))) and yea im posting this at 230 am lmao why not