#I GENUINELY HATE IT NDXJSJS NEVER ALLOW ME TO BE DELULU EVER AGAIN

[ipegchangbin]

thinking about that one dream i had where i rejected changbin it was so wild. im gonna ramble about it

i had this dream a long while ago when i was only a few months fresh into stanning skz but holy shit man

we had each others numbers somehow and we texted every day and night, our conversations going from “im grateful to have you as my biggest fan” to “did you eat? lmk if you are” and we even started calling. HE WAS EVEN FLIRTING WITH ME GOING “ofc i want to talk to a fan as gorgeous as you” and “its fine to have fantasies over someone as hot as me” LIKE?:!/?

we grew closer and closer but we started texting less since we both got busy … until he confessed and said “i really love you and id love to know you better outside of this” but i made the stupid decision to reject him because 1) i was an international fan, and 2) i didnt want it to be risky for him since i would become a nonshowbiz s/o. after that we stopped texting as a whole mostly bc i think i ghosted him for his own good???

BUT DONT WORRY!! IT GETS WORSE

fast forward i end up winning a fancall with him (so stupid of me) and he recognized me right away. he straight up froze and didnt know what to do but we had to go along like nothing happened so as to not get the staff suspicious. like we were both visibly panicking but he had to act all cute like nothing happened. after the call he messaged again saying “i missed you. all this time i never lost my feelings for you and all i could ever think about is you”

BUT ALL I SAID WAS “ill still be your number one fan and hopefully soon the odds will be in our favor”

AND THEN I WOKE UP. LITERALLY THE WORST FEELING EVER IM STILL SO MAD ABOUT IT. LIKE WHAT DID I MEAN????? WHY DID I DO THAT!:!/?:?

and before anyone says this is fic worthy:: contrary to popular belief im not a fan of idol aus. this made me want to sneak in a corner and cry so hard