#I HAVE PROVEN MYSELF CAPABLE WHY MUST I DO EXTRA

[lemememeringue]

struggling to process today's session. I am not having a good brain day and it's deeply frustrating to Speak Wrong

[way-of-things]

Techno Legend DJ Minx On The Homophobia She Experienced in Detroit & Coming Out As Gay: 'I Was Stressed The Hell Out'

The Detroit techno legend -- who is been energetic withinside the scene for the reason that early '90s -- have been deliberating what to write down in her caption for months. Ultimately, on June 2, 2021, she were given a large message thru in a cheap 9 sentences, which maximum crucially included: "People be afflicted by emotional tension on the mere notion of 'popping out,' however the strain of now no longer doing so is taking over WAY an excessive amount of of my area and is shaking my electricity to the core. So right here I am. Minx, DJ, producer, Momma, partner, lesbian, friend."

 With the click of a "proportion" button, the artist born Jennifer Witcher discovered her actual self to the world, the usage of Pride 2021 because the impetus and receiving a flood of guide from friends, enthusiasts and fellow artists withinside the process.

This large existence second persisted some days later, while Minx become featured as a part of a country wide Spotify Pride marketing campaign additionally along with Hayley Kiyoko, Big Freedia, MUNA and extra. For the marketing campaign every artist curated a Spotify playlist offering LGBTQ+ artists and allies from their place of origin and have been additionally featured in a mural in that equal city. Via a mural through the Philadelphia-primarily based totally artist ggggrimes, Minx's face now graces the aspect of Detroit's Ruth Ellis Center, which creates network and affords trauma-knowledgeable offerings for LGBTQ+ teens and teenagers of color.

To placed an exclamation factor on a banner month, today (June 29) Minx is freeing her modern day music, "Purse First." A spare, bouncy track whose identify become stimulated through Bob The Drag Queen, the season 8 winner of RuPaul's Drag Race. "He constantly spoke approximately constantly being fashionable in any situation, and also you must constantly input a room 'handbag first,'" Minx says of this homage. "I'm all approximately being classy, so notion the identify become fitting." All proceeds from the music advantage the Ruth Ellis Center.

On the tail give up of her huge Pride month, DJ Minx right here talks approximately summoning the braveness to pop out, why the homophobia she skilled in Detroit stored her from doing so, and the overpowering guide she's acquired withinside the wake of her IG post.

I'm intrigued through you pronouncing that the stress of now no longer popping out become taking over an excessive amount of of your area. Had this constantly been the case, or had the tension of being closeted turn out to be extra acute extra recently?

The mere notion of popping out become traumatic for me, due to the fact for years, "Don't ever inform every person, due to the fact it's going to smash your career" performed time and again in my head. During the pandemic, I were given to recognise myself higher. I did yoga each day, were given closely into my veganism, meditated, and continuously notion of approaches to be a higher me. I had guide from human beings all around the world. They knew me as a DJ and the present of track that I'd shared with them, however that they'd no concept approximately the name of the game that I'd stored interior for such a lot of years.

The LGBTQ way of life is prevalent extra [now], and I felt like I desired to proportion my reality one day. I become frightened, so it took some time for me to mention something. I determined myself deliberating it on a each day basis, and found out that my degree of strain would not leave until I modified it! I become uninterested in hiding. I desired to transport and stay freely, and conserving in my happiness have become unacceptable. It have become vital that I pop out -- I simply did now no longer but recognise how or while to do it.

Obviously the lifestyle round acceptance, and celebration, of the LBGTQ+ network is distinct now on a mainstream degree than it become while you commenced your career. Did you've got got reviews withinside the dance scene that made you frightened with regard to popping out?

Not truely, however I did see a few violence towards human beings withinside the LGBTQ+ network, and I simply wasn't equipped to mention something to every person. I wasn't equipped to stand any of it. Period.

Of direction it is a colourful track scene, however the Midwest continues to be frequently extra conservative than locations like New York, L.A. Did the lifestyle of Detroit, in particular while you have been first arising withinside the scene, have something to do with you now no longer popping out for therefore long?

Yes, certainly it did. My revel in has been that it is homophobic! I become born and raised in Detroit and were right here all my existence. Each time I heard point out of a homosexual person, it driven me in addition again into my shell -- due to the fact, for the maximum part, it become now no longer-so-first-class matters [that were said]. Also, human beings assumed that in view that I knew a way to play track, that I become homosexual. There become a whole lot of bad chat out there, a few from folks who have been near me, and I permit it maintain me again from speakme my reality.

Dance Music Pioneer Kevin Saunderson: The Scene Is Still Failing Black Artists

When did you are making the choice which you have been going to pop out publicly?

I made the choice to pop out a while in March. Since I couldn't parent out how I must proportion publicly, I notion Pride 2021 become the appropriate time to do it. I wrote out my "speech" and altered it nearly each day till past due May, hoping to acquire the equal guide I had gotten over the years. It become successful, overwhelmingly so. The responses warmed my heart.

When you ultimately made the declaration thru your socials, what passed off in your tension degree?

I become careworn the hell out! I did not recognise what to expect, or while, and become a entire mess. I become too involved approximately what every person could think...human beings that can have desired so far me, homophobia, what own circle of relatives contributors could say -- a lot. My thoughts become all around the place.

You additionally did not simply pop out, you got here out thru a massive country wide marketing campaign that concerned your face painted at the aspect of a building. What has publicity on that degree been like?

Because of the timing of the request to be part of the mural, I notion, "Go large or pass home!" It felt like brilliant timing, and I become truely capable of commit, frightening because it become, specifically because the mural become going up in my place of origin and a part of a bigger Spotify marketing campaign. But it become a brilliant revel in, and truely I even have acquired a lot guide! Thank you to all and sundry who has proven me love and appreciation.

Courtesy of Spotify

DJ Minx mural on the Ruth Ellis Center

Does popping out in any manner have an effect on the way you do your paintings?

[jenovahh]

The Honey Pot - Ch. 20 - The Queen’s Cruelty

Staring blankly at the art on the underside of your canopy, you try to unravel all that occurred tonight.

“Though I trust it will not come to that. You are a force of nature of itself, Honey.” Reaching for your hair, Varis takes a strand of it between two fingers, much like he had when you first met him. “One I hope to claim for myself.”

It is taking all your control in that moment to not recoil in disgust, letting him twirl your hair between his fingers. You’re already shaken by what he’s unveiled to you in this trip, your mind spinning in circles trying to figure out what he could possibly do with knowledge like this.

“But...I am happy working for Zenos.” You murmur, frowning deeply. You meet his gaze head on despite your voice wavering slightly. “Ignoring the sex, loathe as I am to admit it, I have enjoyed our banter, our duels. And I don’t think you can give that to me.”

Varis studies you silently, hand dropping from your hair and you swear you hear the guard behind you reaching for something. Instincts kicking in, you spin around and strike at his wrist, effectively knocking the gun he had just grabbed from his hand. Swiftly, you grab that same wrist and quickly spin behind him to twist his arm behind his back, grunting as he whines in pain as you kick the gun out of arm’s reach.

Varis is still quiet through the whole event, hands tucked behind his back as a covetous look fills his gaze. Looking down at the guard you had disarmed, he tuts. “While I appreciate your quick action for her speaking out of turn against me...you are far out of your league.” He hums, eyes sliding back up to you. “Nonetheless...this is an unfamiliar feeling to me.” Varis chuckles, eyes narrowing.

“For all my life, I have had everything I have ever desired handed to me without question. Women have been no different. Any woman would be grateful for the attention I have basked you with, Honey.” The way he says your name makes you sick to your stomach, a sort of wanting that sounds warped and twisted. “No one has resisted me as much as you have. It will make claiming you all the more rewarding.”

Whereas anytime you were forced to be in Varis’ company only filled you with indescribable hate, now you felt unnerved and wary of his presence. Something about his attitude changed where you were concerned and your instincts screamed at you everytime to give him a wide berth. You had hit the jackpot as it were in terms of information, the only issue is you didn’t know what to do with it, and you had no way of contacting your superiors.

You had to wonder if they were worried about you. Surely they kept track of you in the news, but you wondered if they tried keeping track of you with shadier means. Zenos destroying your phone effectively killed any contact you had with them. Zenos making you his personal bodyguard scattered months worth of carefully laid plans like leaves on the wind. And after seeing first hand what the personal technology the Galvus name was capable of, there was no way you were getting any inside info out of the compound.

It’s probably best it remains that way. May the Twelve save your soul when the police find out you’ve been fucking the heir’s son because you wanted to. Really, you had no idea how things could get any worse.

Well, Varis could continue holding you hostage like he had been. It had only been two days since Varis had shown you the Aetherochemical Research facility, your mind still unable to fathom it. You knew it might as well have been the closest thing to rocket science, so you didn’t feel too bad for not understanding it, but the persisting feeling of something much bigger at stake wouldn’t leave you alone.

It was rare your gut was ever wrong, especially when you felt it so strongly. You wish you could explain the feeling, because you were positive that normal people didn’t have a gut feeling so intense it sat at the back of their minds. Anytime you had tried explaining it to Y’shtola and Lyse they had brushed it off as you just being perhaps a little paranoid, but you were never wrong.

Whatever it was, you would just have to be on the lookout for it.

Dressed for the day, you dust yourself off as you waltz down to Varis’ office where you had begun to meet him to start the morning. He started his days a little later than his son, having no wish to work out at the crack of dawn. You leave out much later than Zenos does as a result, leaving you restless with nothing to do with the extra free time.

Reaching the door, you knock twice as you hear not just one, but two voices from inside. Raising an eyebrow, you hear a “come in” from the other side of the door, hand reaching for the knob and giving a solid turn as you step inside the office.

To your surprise, you meet not just golden eyes, but a pair of ruby ones as well.

“Good morning, Honey.”

Seated in one of the plush lounge chairs lies Elidibus, his ruby eyes twinkling with curiosity and concealed amusement. You feel almost as if he is studying you somehow, starting to feel unnerved by his presence, but for different reasons entirely.

As if he knows something you don’t.

“Good morning.” You return with a bow, awaiting your orders. “Good morning to you as well, Emissary.”

Elidibus gives a polite nod of his head, a welcoming smile on his face. “It has been a few months since we’ve seen each other last. Have you been well?”

Nodding, you cast a wary glance at Varis who somehow seems less annoyed. “Yes, I have been well.” Focusing on Varis now, you take a deep breath. “What are my orders for today?”

Frowning, Varis closes a folder you didn’t notice was on his desk and fixes you with a disappointed look. “Due to the nature of business Elidibus and I must discuss, I am unable to keep you as my bodyguard for the upcoming months. You may return to your duties with Zenos.”

Shock stills your tongue for a moment, genuine surprise on your eyes as confusion stalls your thoughts. Brain finally catching up, you blurt out the first thing on your mind. “I thought you didn’t want me anywhere near your son.”

Instead of frowning, Varis smirks, reclining back in his chair. “This is true, but unfortunately it is more important that this information regarding my campaign trail remains classified. Your actions and failures with Garlond’s bodyguard have proven you untrustworthy.” His eyes narrow, but his smirk remains present. However, if you wish to make your position permanent...you may stay.” He pauses, smirk growing wider despite you not gracing him with an answer. “Loathe as I am to send you back to him, it will make winning you from him all the more satisfying.”

You can feel bile nearly come up your throat at those very words, quickly composing yourself as you give a deep bow. “I understand.” You reply, knowing you got off lucky this time and at least won’t have to serve under him for the foreseeable future. Giving one final bow, you turn to exit the room, nearly reaching the door before you sense something flying for your head.

With preternatural reflexes you turn just in time to catch it, finding you had caught what looks to be an inkwell that was once sitting upon Varis’ desk. Examining it, you look back at the two men in the room, finding Varis looking at Elidibus in question. Sliding your gaze to Elidibus, his own is even more scrutinous than before, though he seems to also look surprised. You didn’t even hear him move to stand. “Can I get an explanation as to why I had something thrown at the back of my head?” You ask, staring both men down.

“I have heard rumors of your skill, and merely wished to test it for myself.” Elidibus answers, a purr to his voice as he circles the desk to retake his seat.

“Wouldn’t it make more sense to just ask to see me fight?” You huff angrily, tossing the inkwell back at him.

Astonishingly, he catches it without missing a beat.

“That is true,” he sighs, rolling the inkwell around in his hand, ruby eyes looking at you in a new light. Now you especially get the feeling he knows something you don’t. “If you don’t mind, perhaps I will come watch a spar with yours. That is, if young Zenos does not mind.”

Huffing a laugh, you give him a sarcastic look. “Oh yes. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind at all.” You drawl, complete with an eye roll. How you felt so brazen in front of Elidibus was anyone’s guess, especially given you were in front of your boss as well. There was a strange sense of ease you felt around the Emissary. Or rather you didn’t feel you had to be so on guard around him. Given his relationship to Varis, you would think he would put you incredibly on edge.

Strange.

“Either way, I will take my leave.” You bow and turn back around to open the door and step out into the hallway.

That was weird, you think as you head to grab a few extra things from upstairs before heading back down to catch a car ride to the office. Zenos has been long gone of course, having done his training and headed off to work well over an hour ago, and your heart stutters in your chest to even think about seeing him once more. It had been well over a month since you had been able to speak with him; winter’s chill had finally set in and his gaze was as cold as the wind outside. Not that you would ever admit to anybody, most of all yourself, you were nervous.

Extra knick knacks in tow, you head on down to the front door and step outside to hop in the car where the chauffeur awaits. Yuyusho gives you a gentle greeting as you step inside, somewhat soothing your nerves. Engaging in some small talk helps keep your mind at ease as he drives along, Yuyusho driving neatly as he safely navigates the bustling streets of downtown Kugane. Once at the Galvus highrise, you swallow thickly, wishing silently Yuyusho would’ve run over a broken bottle or something and popped a tire. You’re here now, and there’s no turning back, so you exit the car and wave goodbye and head on in.

It’s strange to enter the building alone, not having to flank either Zenos or Varis as they go about their business. Building security welcomes you as you head toward the elevators, and you're thankful that Zenos takes after his father and keeps his office on the uppermost floors. This gives you plenty of time to think about what you’re going to say when you get up there and face him.

Would he be cold toward you still? Hell, did he even know you were on your way? He had to, right? Would he be happy to see you, but wouldn’t show it like a normal person? Would he be happy in his own “Zenos” way? Maybe he’d tell you to die in a fire.

The more questions popped up, the sicker you felt until you had to stop the elevator on the closest floor and briskly walk to the closest restroom. Splashing water on your face, you gaze at yourself in the mirror, a few stray hairs clinging to your skin.

What were you so nervous for?

This man had seen you naked. Twice.

And despite him not being your first, you know he’s seen the most vulnerable parts of you had never dared show anyone. Not even Lyse or Y’shtola. You hand this man’s ass to him on a daily basis for crying out loud. He should be afraid to see you.

Yet, here you are, anxiety twisting your gut like you’re somehow a teenager working up the courage to ask their crush out on a date.

There was so much unsaid about your relationship. Perhaps sex did not change things for him, but it certainly did for you. You had never been a blushing maiden saving herself for marriage, but to you, sex was not just about the sex itself. The intimacy of it all, the kissing, the touching, how they would linger on your skin for hours after...that is what led you to Estinien.

That is what made everything with Zenos so confusing.

In the back of your mind, you knew why you were afraid. To face the unsaid, to unpack the feelings beginning to grow out of control was to acknowledge you felt anymore more than annoyance for the Galvus heir.

And as a fucking undercover cop, that just would not do.

It would be so much easier if he just treated you like shit in bed! How could you have ever guessed he would be a considerate, passionate lover? Any other day, he spoke to you as if you were his servant, barked at you, insulted you to the point that anyone else would’ve cried or filed a lawsuit by now. But in his arms you felt safe.

You felt like you belonged there.

You felt like he cared.

Words are the only thing you understand.

You watch your eyes widen in the mirror, realization dawning on you.

Touch.

Zenos understood touch.

Twisted as it was, it made so much sense now why he was never bothered by you kicking his ass. Why he always saw your manhandling him as just friendly banter and flirting. Why he held you close in the fountain, why he never let anyone else near you, why he felt like he was making love to you--

A hysterical laugh bubbles up from your throat, escaping too fast to catch, and another one follows soon after. What did it say about you that a monster like him figured out how to communicate his feelings to you in a way you understood before you could do the same for him?

Not that you didn’t know this already, but by the Twelve, you were fucked.

Smoothing your hairs back in place, you dust yourself off and straighten up in the mirror. Taking a deep, cleansing breath, you stride out the restroom feeling a little better, but not any more confident. You won’t let that stop you however, head held high as you head back to the elevators and resume your trip up the building.

Reaching the upper floors, you take one final breath before stepping out. Looking left and right, you find the hall is surprisingly quiet, not dissimilar to how it had been your first few days here. However, as the months had gone on, employees would chat more and converse amongst themselves. It was mostly due to fear of upsetting Zenos somehow that had kept them quiet, and you guessed that in your absence, he had been taking out that excess energy on his subordinates.

Frowning, no matter how much you wanted to see him, treating people, even if they were his employees, like shit was unacceptable. Feeling a bit more sure, you stride down the hall and make a beeline for his office. Passing by cubicles and copiers, you can see various expressions on their faces, ranging from surprise to relief at seeing you pass by. You swear you hear someone whisper “thank the kami” as you head by. Fixing your jaw, you reach the opulent doors that lead to Zenos’ office and knock three times, waiting for an answer.

“Enter.”

Sounding entirely too much like his father, you open the door, cool air brushing across your face as you step inside. The grand door shuts behind you and across the way you can see Zenos sitting at his desk, not an onze of surprise on his sharp features. In fact he’s scowling at you, so much so that if looks could kill you’re sure you would’ve taken psychic damage from how hard he is glaring at you. Naturally, instead of offering an olive branch, you go straight for the throat.

“Well don’t look too happy to see me.” You tease, throwing a smirk his way, though it fades as you realize he isn’t rising to your bait.

Maintaining his frown, his fist clenches tighter around the pen in his hand. “I’m not.” He responds, clipped and to the point, his eyes jolting where you missed Livia sitting on the couch in your spot. Glaring at her for no reason other than the fact that you can, you repress a satisfied grin as Zenos orders her to leave. “I see father has deigned to take you back. You are dismissed.”

Livia, seeming to know what is best for her, stands and bows to Zenos, remaining entirely silent as she strides out the office without as much as a word. The door shutting again sounds much more final as it leaves you alone with Zenos in his office. Clearing your throat, you eye your spot, shrugging slightly. At least she’s warmedit up for you.

Before you can move to sit down, Zenos cuts you off. “And what do you think you’re doing?”

Shooting him a deadly look, you find yourself getting annoyed quickly. “The fuck does it look like I’m doing? I’m sitting down, you idiot.” You snap back. Zenos places his pen down with the utmost care, seeming to do so for worry of crushing it in his fist.

“I would have thought you had learned some respect while attending my father.” He seethes, the words scathing and meant to bite, but as usual you rise to the challenge.

“I kick your ass on the daily and you expect me to fear your old man?” You laugh, throwing your head back to cackle at the thought of allowing Varis to make you do anything. “The bastard’s lucky I didn’t kill him in his sleep. Trust me, I thought about it. I had plenty of opportunities to snap his silly, little neck.” The words sound wrong from your lips, not for the words themselves but how much you mean them.

Zenos seems to realize this too, but his expression doesn’t lighten in the least. “I see.” Is all he says, picking up his pen again. “Well, since you are here, I have some work for you to do.”

Arching a brow, you stand up straight and cock your hip out to the side. “What happened to your secretary? What’s-her-face,”

“I fired her.” Zenos interjects, looking more annoyed by the second. “Are you really going to stand there and continue to question me?” He places his pen down once more, standing to his feet, shoving his hands in his pockets. His suit is tailored to his form as usual, accentuating his figure deliciously to the point you can already feel desire creeping into your gaze. “I spent a month without your presence, and I must say, it helped me realize what a terrible subordinate you truly are.”

Snapped out of your shameless ogling, you fix Zenos with a menacing look, remaining still as he makes his way toward you. “Excuse me?”

“I said you are a terrible bodyguard.” He huffs, having made his way toward you. Looking down his nose at you like he did the first time he met you. “You talk back to your superiors. You think yourself untouchable and above consequences. You question orders instead of following them. Livia was the perfect picture of an ideal bodyguard. A silent shadow.”

Scoffing, you give him a sly look, seeing the lies in his words. “Really, Zenos. You’d have me no other way.”

This seems to anger him as he raises his fist as if to punch you but your reflexes are faster, blocking it without a flinch. You hold his hand, gripping his fist tight within your palm. “Now I have a question for you: when are you gonna sit and talk like a fucking adult and say what you really want to say, instead of trying to go back to treating me like shit, huh?”

Jerking his fist back, he says nothing and retreats to his desk, leaving you standing in the middle of the floor amongst the furniture. “Stand there for all I care. I have work to do.”

Sighing, you go ahead and plop down onto the closest couch, kicking your feet up on the coffee table and prepare for yourself for a long, slow day.

As the morning drags on, Zenos seems set on ignoring you, scribbling away at Hydaelyn knows what. Once or twice you comply with his wishes and do run a few errands for him since it seems he really did fire his secretary. She was a nice girl and you could not understand what could have possibly led him to sacking her; she did her job well and was pleasant to talk to. If this is what just a month without you around was like, you hate to think about how much the long term employees had to deal with. No doubt the majority of them felt the paycheck was too nice to give up and would rather deal with their boss’ abuse.

Once again he wasn’t responding to any of your teasing, closing himself off and speaking to you in one word sentences. As the day waned on, you found that sad feeling creeping up again, just like you had felt that night at the gala. A wish to understand why he was being so cold to you, and what could be done to get back to normal.

Words are the only things you understand.

With the sun having set, you stand just outside the office, a stack of copies in your hand. It was easy to cling onto your pride, to try and maintain your moral high ground, because at this point it was the only thing you had. Because you knew as soon as you let go, that was it.

Would it be so wrong to be mine and mine alone?

Zenos had been vulnerable. He may not have realized it, but remembering that pained look on his face, the desperation to understand, he had bared his heart to you with sparkling clarity, and perhaps it was you who was closed off. In your fight to not give in, you had alienated yourself.

You could have easily left messages or snuck to see him during your time with Varis, anything to let him know that you still cared.

With a melancholy sigh and your mind made up, you push open the door and stride into the office, eyes set on the blond haired man across the room. “Zenos.”

He doesn’t even look up, still scribbling away at whatever documents are beneath his hands. While angered by this, you keep a cool head on your shoulders and make your way over to his desk. Standing in front of it, you place the papers down gently. “The files you wanted.”

Not that you were expecting any actual thanks, you’re still pissed when you don’t receive any. Deciding that your anger seems to be the only thing that ever gets anything out of him, you let the feeling take hold of you. “Zenos yae Galvus.” You growl, slamming your hands on the desk.

That seems to get his attention, if only because you slammed hard enough to cause his hand to jerk and ugly mark now lies upon whatever document he was writing. With a cool and relaxed tone that sounds like the calm before the storm, those blue eyes you adore look at you with a look that is venomous. “Speak quickly before I kill you.”

“You wish you fucking could.” You snap, jabbing a finger in his face. “We aren’t doing this bullshit. Not again.” The surety of your words makes him frown but he says nothing more, so you continue. “Are you really going to act like a child, again, because your father dragged me around? You heard him yourself; he’s the top dog around here so if I want to keep my head on my shoulders I better fucking listen to him! Didn’t you say that?”

You watch as his bottom lip nearly pokes out to pout but he stops himself. Barely. You're right and he knows it. “And what problem is it of mine?”

“What your problem is, is that you’re taking out your daddy issues on me! The only person on this damn planet that gives a damn about you!” You nearly yell, teeth bared as you let your emotions flow free. “I figured you’d be happy to see me again! I hated every moment of every day of every bell with that excuse of a man!” Your chest is heaving and you start to feel a little warm.

“You assume much, thinking I spent any time thinking about you.” Zenos scoffs, crossing strong arms across his broad chest, eyes narrowed on your form. “I knew you were foolish,”

You cut him off with a frustrated yell, close to ripping your hair out. He didn’t get it. He really didn’t get it.

There was only one way to get him to understand.

Marching around his desk, you take satisfaction in seeing the small amount of alarm in his expression as you give a firm push on the back of his chair that pulls him from his desk. Spinning him toward you, you waste no time straddling his lap, grabbing him by the hair and pulling back, finding him already half hard beneath you. A filthy moan comes from that pretty throat of his and you swallow it whole, pressing your lips to his in a crushing kiss, passion sweeping you away as you feel what it is to finally be near him like this after so long.

Your tongue demands entrance before he gets the chance to do it first, your hand having a firm grip on his hair as you bite harshly on his lip, hips already rolling into his own. You feel his hands snake around your body to crush you to him, pressing you closer than close as you finally part for air. “You fucking idiot,” you rasp, tilting his head to go for his neck, peppering kisses and love bites on his perfect skin, claiming what is rightfully yours.

It surprises you as much as it doesn’t as he turns into putty beneath your hands, any tension that he had held at the mere sight of you all day going away with his hands on your body. His hands are greedy, groping your ass, your hips, your thighs. Feeling, touching, as if you had disappeared from the very star and he was sure you would never return.

His hunger is deeper than you could have anticipated, for he steels his grip at your hips to grind against your core, standing to his feet to sit you on his desk, the documents atop it instantly forgotten. The change in control is so jarring, his hand reaching to pluck yours from his hair, pinning it to the wood beneath you. “Honey,” he breathes, his other hand leaving your hip to undo the button on your slacks.

Unzipping your pants, he shoves his hand in them with a small amount of decorum, fingers wedging themselves between your thighs before you can spread them wider. “Give me a second,” You hiss, wishing he didn’t have you crushed halfway beneath him with hardly any room to move.

“I won’t even give you that long.” He groans against your neck, finding what he was looking for as his fingers brush across your lower lips, still covered by your panties. Your hips jerk, almost to the point of embarrassment, having never felt so sensitive to a lover before. Granted in that entire month you hadn’t even seen Estinien; going without sex ever since the day Varis split you and Zenos apart. Zenos seems to notice this, pleased as he searches for what he knows will make you scream for him.

With that thought in mind, panic shoots through you, trying to shove him off you for at least five seconds. “I didn’t lock the door--”

“And I couldn’t give a fuck.”

The use of such foul language is enough to still your movements from shock alone, body going rigid until he pulls your head back further by your hair, lips ravishing your neck. It was already enough that you werent supposed to be fucking the Galvus heir in the first place, and here he was refusing to lock the door just in case someone wants to pay him an unexpected visit and finds you kneeling under the desk with his cock halfway down your throat.

Twelve above, the idea excites you more than it should.

Because what is a bigger fuck you to Varis than immedaitely being released from his side to go do the very thing that got you there in the first place? What would grind his gears more than showing Zenos how much you care in the only way he’ll understand?

At the very least the hour is late; most of the nine-to-five workers have gone home and if anyone pops in on you, it’ll be a janitor looking to clean Zenos’ already immaculate office. However, with his aggression already this high, you don’t doubt they’ll actually have something to clean later. In the corners of your vision you already see one of his pencil cups tipped over from how roughly he put you on the desk and you know the papers are crumpled beneath your ass. Humming, you let him have his way with you, knowing now that he needs this outlet.

“If anyone has missed me, it is you.” He purrs, feeling how wet you are for him. Before you can even open your mouth to protest he nips at your bottom lip, gasping at your look of surprise. “Your body will always tell the truth, my beast. I like that about you. You may curse my very name until your dying breath, but your body will always let me know just what you feel.” He continues brushing the pad over a finger between your lower lips, his other hand moving to unbutton your shirt. “I’ve been thinking...would you be opposed to wearing skirts? It would make this much easier.”

Clamping onto his shoulders, you try to push him off you but instead your arms curl around his broad frame. “I thought you wanted me to be a good bodyguard.” Your voice is already breathy, face warm from embarrassment. What happened to the control, the confidence you had walking in the room? Just a few touches, and now he’s got you bucking into his hands.

“It took me time to realize...but I want you to be no one else but yourself.” He whispers, finally slipping a finger inside. He lets your body adjust as you throw your head back, toes curling in your shoes. With gentle lips he trails kisses along your pulse, inhaling deeply to breathe you in. “Livia bored me. She obeyed every order, and never spoke out of turn.” He frowns, pumping his finger out of your wet sheathe.

Whimpering, you move your hands to grab for your pants as best as you are able with him halfway on top of you. Shoving them down, you try to lift your hips but Zenos is stubborn and continues to pump that single finger within you. “Let me get my pants off--” You snarl, kicking him in the shin, smacking him on the shoulder as he barks out a rich laugh.

“Very well.” Pulling his hand from your pants, he backs off entirely, your body immediately missing the warmth. Not hiding your confusion, you watch as he sits back in his chair, almost slouching as he gets comfortable. “Go on. Take them off.”

Flushing deeply, somehow you find yourself stuck with stage fright. “A-Are you going to just watch me?” you ask incredulously, shoving your blazer off your shoulders.

“Well of course. Why not make it interesting?” He croons, eyes half lidded and molten with lust.

Despite your continuing nervousness, when you have one of the most powerful men in the world looking at you like that, it’s hard to not feel at least a little sexy. While you were by no means a lady of leisure, you did your best to finish his task of unbuttoning your shirt, letting it slip from your shoulders in a way you hope is sexy. You can’t help but feel a little silly, but Zenos’ attention is focused on you entirely, and judging by the tent going on in his pants, he likes what he sees.

You only wish you had cuter underwear, your panties and bra built to be practical and not for looks. You decide to leave your bra on for now and begin to push your pants down your legs, hands gliding across your skin as the clothing falls to the floor. As you bend over to kick out of them and get them off your ankles, you can’t help but stare at the obvious bulge in his pants, mouth watering as your eyes hone in on it. Continuing your way down to the floor, you rest on your knees and place your hands on his thighs, using force to start spreading them before you as he quickly catches on and splays his legs wide.

Scooting closer between them, your hands reach for his pants, caressing his length through the material, able to feel how firm and hot it is through his slacks. His breath hitches immediately, and you hazard a glance, finding his eyes still half lidded, but no less focused on you. He doesn’t look smug or amused, he looks almost…

Reverent.

With that in mind, you slowly unzip his slacks, hands fumbling in their hurry to free him from his underwear, which are of course as fine as the suits he wears. Face to face with the thing that rendered you unable to walk straight more than once, you give yourself a moment to look at it.

Most genitalia looked a little weird, but you had to give it to Zenos; he had certainly lucked out that it had looked as perfect as the rest of him. His length was just enough that you would need both hands to grip him effectively, and you didn’t even want to start on his girth because that was the start of all your problems. The skin is like satin beneath your fingertips, his abdomen twitching as he remains silently still at your exploration. While giving head was not your most favorite activity in the world, you had to admit you wanted to do this more than anything to speak in a language he understood.

Leaning forward, you press the head of his cock to your lips, tongue darting out to swipe the precum beading at the tip, the salty taste coating your tongue. Pressing forward, you take the head into your mouth, a second hitch of his breath all the encouragement you need. Patiently, you slick his length with your spit until your hands can glide along with ease, lips still wrapped around the head of his cock.

You have no practice with deepthroating, but have heard plenty of tips from coworkers and friends alike, relaxing your throat as best as you can to take him as deep as possible. Given how big he is, you know you can only go so far, but it seems to not take much, for you feel a hand snake into your hair, pulling gently. Glancing upwards, his head is thrown back, his mouth agape as a moan comes forth, a sigh of Honey on his lips. Just hearing that has you moan around his cock, Zenos’ thighs tensing further at the vibrations you send through him.

Fully enamored with your task, you allow him to bob your head up and down at a reasonable pace you can handle, his eyes coming back to look at your lips wrapped around his cock. He still has that reverent expression, bordering on grateful, edging on...adoration.

On something more.

“You feel,” He groans, hips threatening to jerk and push too far but you use your strength to hold him down as he uses your face, hand gripping tighter and tighter in your hair. “I’m close,” he grunts, and you take a deep breath, preparing for his orgasm.

He moans your name in bliss as he comes, cum shooting into your mouth and down your throat, and you do your best to swallow it all down. Pulling off, a last few drops spurt onto your lips and chest, the viscous liquid warm and sticky as it clings to your breasts. Reaching up with your fingers you swipe it off your skin, sticking your fingers in your mouth to lick them clean in an unintentionally lewd display.

You watch as he catches his breath, looking as if had sucked the soul from his body. His skin is entirely flushed, cock beginning to soften before your very eyes as his chest rises and falls with every breath he takes.

"Stand up. Now." Zenos orders, still sounding breathless in his post orgasm haze. Standing to your feet, he grabs you fiercely by the hips and pushes you back toward the desk, feet scrambling for balance as he practically forces you onto it. You land on your back with no amount of grace, propping yourself up on your elbows as more of the items atop the desk tip over.

"Use your words you brute," your tirade is sharply cut off with Zenos ripping off your underwear, seams digging into your skin before they give way to his superior strength. Habit compels you to complain, but somehow his impatience is so arousing you find yourself once again shocked into silence. This gives Zenos plenty of time to scoot forward in his office chair and take a thigh in each hand, kissing the skin as one might worship a god. It is like night and day the way he treats you in bed. You knew he held you in high esteem, but only by touch do you truly grasp just how much.

It is evident in how he does not explicitly ask to do things to you, choosing to forgo words as he gazes up at you from beneath his lashes, lips drawing nearer to your molten core, asking permission with only his eyes. There is a beauty in the respect that he gives you, knowing full well he could use his strength to overwhelm you and take you hard and fast, but instead he chooses to be near…

Subservient.

His lips brush just across your petals, breath hot despite the fire you already feel between your own legs. Curling his arms around your thighs, he flexes his fingers into your flesh, gripping just to the point of pain as he holds you still. When his lips first touch your center you whimper, hips instinctively jerking forward into his face of which he doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he grips you a little tighter, as if to encourage you.

His tongue slips between your lower lips, tasting you, his eyes fluttering closed as he throws himself into his task. It is your turn for your head to fall back in bliss, a long moan pulled from deep within, the looming threat of a passerby having fled your mind. The heels of your feet dig into his back, your fists clench without anything to hold onto. Zenos devotes himself to his task as well as he would training, using his strength to subdue you so you don’t crush his head between your thighs.

Unable to take it anymore as he pushes you closer to orgasm, you finally lie back and thread your fingers through his hair, canting your hips toward his face and his mouth that is oh so lovely in this very moment. Your moans increase in pitch and frequency as he pushes you closer, that feeling of too close, too fast making itself known once again. Somehow only he has made you feel that way, as if he is giving you no other choice but to come.

When he hums, the vibrations shoot up your spine and you finally orgasm, crying out his name in abandon as you arch off the desk, crumpling the papers beneath you even further. Back arching taut like a bow, you clutch hard at his hair, the resulting moan providing an endless feedback loop of pleasure as the vibrations once again shoot through you as you still come down from your high.

Unable to hold fast to him any longer, you finally release his hair, watching as he sits up, licking his lips much like a cat. Only he is no house cat; he is a predator beyond compare, a beast in his own right. Something that could never be tamed or domesticated. Certainly not trained. A beast that would yield only to another just like it.

“Did you really not miss me at all?” you ask, wanting to hear it despite experiencing very clearly just how much he did. You allow him to move you as he wishes, his hand grabbing your own and pulling you up to a standing position. You give a sharp squeal as he unexpectedly spins you in his hold, pressing your back to his front.

He leans to brush his lips against your ear, his breathing ragged and torn with pleasure. “Such notions are beneath me.” He asks, his length nearly to full hardness and ready to go again. You shouldn’t be surprised at this point, but still, it was a wonder how you could go back to regular men after this.

He presses you harshly against the edge of the desk, the glossy wood pressing uncomfortably into your flesh. His hand presses firmly on your back urging you to lay your front flat against it, your hands shoving documents and stray pens aside. The cool surface does little for how warm you feel with him against you, the shuffling of clothing reaching your ears as you mull over how to respond.

“Well, I did.” You breathe, voice quaking much more than you’d like. “I-I missed you.”

His touch halts on you for a second, and fear grips your heart too tightly to even think about taking a look at his expression. Your face is on fire, a cocktail of embarrassment and vulnerability coursing through your veins. It feels like forever until he reaches for your left leg and hikes it up on the table, holding it in place as his other hand takes his cock and rubs it along your folds, slicking himself with your juices. Satisfied, he begins to feed himself slowly inside, his name torn from your lips as he slowly works himself inside.

He leans down above you, snaking a hand beneath your abdomen to hold you close to him, burying his face affectionately into your neck. You are surrounded by him entirely, his very existence eclipsing your entire being. It is hard to tell where he ends and you begin, especially as he is pushing those last few ilms of his cock deep inside you. Your hands reach for the other end of the desk to grab onto anything, until the hand that is holding your leg leaves it to grab your arm and pull it back toward his hair. You hold tight, enjoying the shiver he gives at the contact. Once he hilts himself fully he burrow further into your neck, tongue reaching out to taste and mark and claim.

He takes you.

He takes you as if there is no Galvus enterprises, no Varis, no Estinien.

As if you are not a cop and he, the son of a mob boss.

As if you are just a man and a woman in too deep but unable to turn back.

Every plunge of his cock into your core leaves you wailing beneath him, the desk shaking with the force of his thrusts, what few items remaining on the top rattling until they fall off entirely. You’re distantly aware of his computer monitor crashing to the floor but you cannot bring yourself to care and neither can Zenos, if anything he pounds harder, determined to bring you to the peak once more.

It’s personal.

Despite how much you don’t want it to be, you’re tired of fighting it. Fighting yourself.

When Zenos tilts your head to kiss him, you don’t bite back.

When you caress his face like one would a lover, you don’t think too hard on it.

And when he brings your world crashing down on you with another orgasm that has you crying his name out against his lips, you revel in the feeling of him being there to hold you through it all.

There’s no getting around that your skills have suffered slightly in your time apart from Zenos, who happily takes it upon himself to come to your room for your own personal wake up call. Smug as ever, he stands in your doorway already dressed and ready for the day as you chuck the smallest pillow you have at his infuriating face. He doesn’t even bother moving, cracking a joke that he would be more than willing to help you dress, to which you throw your alarm clock at him.

Of course, he catches it.

“Can't believe I’ve gotten this out of shape…” You sigh, throwing your head back to squeeze water directly into your mouth from your bottle. Sweat runs down your skin in small rivers, the air conditioning doing its job of keeping you cool. Seated upon the floor with your legs strewn, you look every bit unladylike as you are. Twisting the cap back on, you heave out a sigh.

“All because what? I got a few hits on you?” Zenos scoffs, holding an offending out expectantly. Scowling, you toss the water bottle at him rather than toward his hand, and he catches it without flinching.

“Yes.” You answer, smirking at him. “I can’t afford to have you catching up to me. Someone has to keep you in your place.”

He returns a smirk of his own, only his is tainted with desire. “Really now? I look forward to it.”

Finishing off the last of the water, he tosses it with perfect aim into the trash can, walking over to where you were seated upon the floor. Reaching out, he offers his hand and you grab it without a second thought, allowing him to pull you up to your feet.

“Do we have anything planned today?” You ask, heading to grab your things from the counter on the far wall.

“Today all that is on the agenda is to prepare for a trip; there is another charity event we must attend, as much as I hate to do so.” He drones, making his way toward the door. Before he exits, he looks at you over his shoulder. “We only have a few things to take care of at the office today before we return here and prepare for our trip. Or rather, you prepare for the trip. Packing my own things is beneath me.”

Not knowing what else to say aside from sticking your tongue out at him, you wave him off as he exits the gym and heads out to most likely shower before heading downtown. Slinging your gym bag over your shoulder, you make your way toward the door as well, opening it slowly only to find it stopped by a pale hand. Instinct immediately takes over, hand moving to strike whatever attacker had somehow made their way into the estate, before your hand only stops ilms from punching Elidibus in the face.

Releasing the breath you were holding, you nearly collapse from the shock alone, not expecting your mission to nearly end prematurely via way of “local bodyguard decks Garlean Prime Minister in the face” making the eleven o’clock news. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people, Emissary.” You finally get out as your lungs catch up with your racing heart. Where had he even come from? Was he lurking around some corner? You didn’t sense him at all…

“I apologize, I did mean to startle you so.” He chuckles lightly, ruby eyes gleaming with mirth.

“I merely meant to catch up with you. I knew you would immediately return to training with young Zenos, and made sure I woke up on time to speak with you.”

Relaxing a little, you find his eagerness to speak with you a little off putting, but otherwise you see no harm in it. It still baffles you that a whole ass dignitary would be scrambling for the chance to speak with you, especially since you can’t figure out the reason for his fascination with you. “What did you want to speak about?” You ask, taking a few steps out the doorway and into the hall. You watch as he gently allows the door to shut, ruby eyes never leaving your form.

He is dressed in a stark white suit, accented with golden embroidery on the lapels and cuffs. His hair is neatly trimmed as usual, though it seems longer than usual, in a neat braid down the back of his neck. “I will say, your reflexes had certainly intrigued me. I had always...sensed you had something special about you, Honey, and had taken it upon myself to find out.”

Unsure what to make of that, you shrug lightly and begin making your way toward your room so you can take a shower yourself. Elidibus isn’t through with you yet you realize, for he remains in step beside you. “Well, I’ve always been that way, since I was a kid. I was always faster than others, able to fight in ways nobody else could.”

“Is that so…” He murmurs, something in his voice making you slow your walk to face him more. Once he catches you looking at him, he fixes his face with a suspiciously kind smile. “What a rare gift, you must have. I will admit, when I had thrown that inkwell at you, I had not believed my own eyes. So this morning, I sought to watch your sparring match with the young master.” He pauses, raising a hand to tuck under his chin as if in thought. “Indeed, I saw for myself your ability. Zenos has always towered above his peers in combat, but to see someone not just stand toe to toe with him, but to dominate him so completely…”

Frowning, you stop walking, facing him full on. “What are you getting at?”

He stops a few steps ahead of you, staring at you with a sudden wisdom that makes him look twenty thousand years older than you rather than twenty. “Nothing...I just had the thought that perhaps some legends may become reality.”

A sense of apprehension fills you, one that is equal to the amount you felt when at the Aetherochemical Research Facility. Standing before the face of something greater, something far beyond your comprehension. “What...do you mean?”

The Emissary gives you an inquisitive look, as if he holds a million secrets and is willing to share none of them. “It is most intriguing that you have no idea who or what you are…” He murmurs, and you swear his eyes glow.

Standing before the Emissary, you feel as if he knows you better than you do yourself, and not in a way that makes you feel comfortable at all. You feel as if you stand before some sort of judgemental god, and he is readying himself to pass judgement on your poor mortal soul. “Elidibus...do you...know something about my past?”

The Emissary stands there silently, watching, waiting. Seemingly thinking over what he is to say, or perhaps inwardly laughing at how he will tell you nothing at all. “Have you really thought nothing more of your abilities? Thought you were just extremely talented?” He asks, voice as neutral as possible.

Frustrated, you rack your brain for an answer. “I don’t know. Growing up I thought...I just always thought I was really good. A strong fighter. You know how there are those like olympians? People who can lift weights with their pinky finger and stuff like that.”

He huffs out a short laugh at that, shaking his head, looking bemused as he takes a step closer toward you. “Oh, Honey. Really, you think that being able to snatch things from the air when you don’t have eyes in the back of your head isn't a little abnormal? Having the reaction time of coeurl is just a little quirk?”

“Rookie, you put her down so fast it was almost unnatural.”

“No one moves like that! It’s unnatural! You’re a freak!”

...Was there really something different about you?

Looking strangely content, Elidibus gives you an reassuring pat on the shoulder, jarring you from your thoughts. “Well, sorry to question you this early in the morning, my dear. I’m sure I’ve held you up long enough and we both know young Zenos has a temper on him. I’m sure we’ll find another time to chat.”

Still a little shell-shocked you nod weakly, and give a limp wristed wave goodbye. “Uh, yeah. Thanks for the talk. See you later, Elidibus.” You continue down the hallway, thinking on his words. Were you really that different? Were you just not an outlier?

When you turn back to try and ask Elidibus a question, you find the hallway completely empty.

The trip Gyr Abania is relatively problem free, the flight smooth and relaxing as you are once again treated to first class seating. You decide to have a juicy steak on your flight over, despite the flight taking only a few bells, knowing this was one of the few times Zenos couldn’t monitor your nutritional intake like a damn hawk.

Once you set foot on Gyr Abanian soil, you find it strange that it is still so warm. Kugane will no doubt have snow in the next month if not next few weeks, meanwhile in the arid land of Gyr Abania, you could easily wear some short shorts if you wanted to. The landscape is so different from Kugane, where even the more rural parts of Hingashi are rolling plains and lush, green grass, Ala Mhigo is dust and dirt, but no less beautiful. There is a magic to the barren land, and you feel no less fascinated by it all despite Zenos’ unamused sigh.

You ignore him, because even if your cover is a street rat that got swept into gang life, even as a cop you could only dream about saving up enough money to leave the country. Hingashi had the misfortune of essentially being an island unto itself, surrounded by the Ruby Sea and the plains of Othard where natives of the Azim Steppe kept to the ways of their ancestors. Travel outside the country was a true luxury, and living in Kugane made rent sky high, and your savings very little.

“I honestly don’t see the appeal.” Zenos feels the need to comment, expression bored as ever. The taxi rolls through the grand city, many of the buildings hailing to Gyr Abanian architecture, and you snap as many pictures as you can.

“I don’t recall asking for your opinion.” You snark, flashing him an angry look. “I’m not going to listen to a rich kid who’s probably seen it all already. So shut up.”

“Shut up? I think not. Unless, you have something between your thighs that will keep me quiet…” he trails off, staring out the window as you whip around to face him, your cheeks on fire.

“Zenos yae Galvus!” You hiss under your breath, sneaking a quick look at your driver who seems otherwise unaware of the words that just passed from his lips.

Zenos shrugs, smug look already in place as he fixes you with a molten look. “He doesn’t understand a word we are saying. However, if you require me to translate, my Gyr Abanian is rusty, but I’m sure I could--”

Your hand is over his mouth before he can finish the sentence. Naturally, like a kid, his tongue licks a clean line on the palm of your hand and it takes all your willpower to not pull back on reflex.

Since that night at the office, things had become incredibly pleasant between the two of you, as if something had been unlocked and you had had the key all along. The key being that Zenos responded to touch, and as a result, you used it more. When you were angry, you had no problems throwing him over your shoulder. Now it was more tender gestures such as a gentle hand on his shoulder to get his attention, or a playful shove when he said some ridiculous innuendo. It made being around him feel the same, yet brand new all at once, but you knew that largely due to the fact you had just stopped fighting it.

“It” being feelings you still were not ready to explore, but at the very least, you had dug this hole, so you might as well freshen it up a bit. Make a home out of it the best you can.

That didn’t mean you didn’t fight Zenos himself of course, but it made the days go by easier now that you weren’t stuck in that state of constant denial. The state of trying to hold yourself back from trying not to fraternize with the enemy and failing miserably.

Friends with Benefits Plus you had called it, because what else did you call sleeping with your boss who you would kill and be killed for? The boss who would kill for you without question?

Unfortunately, you get no time to explore the city of Ala Mhigo, at least not tonight. With a few carefully placed touches and some begging-not-begging, Zenos had acquiesced to staying an extra night to tour the city the next day after the gala, given the two of you didn’t stay up too late and party all night. Which, was unlikely to happen as Zenos hated these events anyway, and didn’t even want to go.

“Why send you then? I thought your father ate this shit up.” You ask as you ride in the limo with Zenos on the way to the event, senses on high alert due to this being a solo mission. Security is thankfully tight from what you saw, but you still remain focused on your job. Zenos had been taken away once, but you were determined to make sure that was the last time.

“I actually don’t know.” Zenos muses, as if he is just now realizing it. “Not that he filled me on every single detail of his schemes, that or I tuned them out because I didn’t care, but as of late he’s been…” his brows actually pinch together in thought. “He’s not told me anything as of late.”

“I take it that’s not a good thing…” You mumble as you hear the crowd of the red carpet getting closer even from the inside of the limo.

Zenos doesn’t answer, looking incredibly displeased and too deep in his thoughts. Deciding to leave him to it, you place a steady hand on his back as the two of you enter the limelight, pulling out your shades as the first camera flashes reach your eyes. Zenos becomes the picture of a celebrity in seconds, face schooled into an expression of cool indifference as paparazzi clamor him with questions. As his bodyguard you become his shadow, hanging just behind him as he answers questions, greets other celebrities, and makes his way down the red carpet to go inside.

Reaching the front doors the facade stays in place, the picture of the perfect son of Varis zos Galvus. As you tail behind Zenos, you spot Estinien and Cid across the way, the latter giving you a big wave to ensure you saw him. Naturally the paparazzi's attention turns to you immediately, and you duck behind Zenos' hulkish frame in a sudden bout of shyness. You don't have to look at Zenos to know he's rolling his eyes, continuing forward as more reporters attempt to swarm him.

Part of wishes you could leave Zenos long enough to go and speak with Estinien, to try and clear the air between you, but you can’t leave Zenos’ side, not when you are the only one here to protect him and confronting Estinien would mean confronting your own feelings about Zenos as well.

By the Twelve, when did you become such a coward?

“Something on your mind?” You hear Zenos ask, having zoned out on whatever conversation he was having with another businessman. That isn’t to say you’re unaware of your surroundings, but you have been taking the time to gaze at the various art pieces for sale, studying them with your peasant like tastes. “You have been concerningly quiet this evening.” He notes, flashing a winning smile at whatever celebrity waves at him as they pass by.

“No…” You murmur, suddenly quiet and shy, not wanting to tell him just what was on your mind. Things had gone back to normal, you would dare say even improved from the norm, but you still weren’t at a place where you would willingly vent to him about your problems. That was Ardbert’s job.

“Do not lie to me.” Looking up, while Zenos’ voice was surprisingly gentle, his expression spoke of retribution if you dared to disobey him. “I hate lies. Are you unwell? Do we need to retire early?” He questions, reaching a hand for your forehead, skin to skin. Your face heats immediately, stunned he would ask such questions.

“When did you start giving a damn about how I feel?” You ask, trying to push things back into more familiar territory.

Looking down at you, he arches a single brow. “Does that matter?” He tuts, smoothing a stray hair of yours out of place. That he feels so comfortable and at ease touching you so intimately in public like this while you’re overthinking every single interaction with him makes you wonder what goes on in his head. “You belong to me and I take care of things that are mine.”

Pushing his hand away (whereas months ago you would have slapped it), you try to not feel pleased by his words. “How many times do I have to tell you people are not possessions?” You grumble, knowing your face is still warm from embarrassment. “Don’t you care about paparazzi? What if the tabloids catch you doting on me?” Or worse your father…

“I care little for whatever tabloids have had to say and that is not about to change.” He lets his arm fall back to his side, giving you a sly smile. “And perhaps, I want to make sure a certain person sees just who you belong to…”

Looking up you follow his gaze to where you can spy a trace of silver hair retreating through the crowd.

“You asshole!” You snap, smacking Zenos hard in the chest, wishing you could deck him in the face but sadly you’re in the middle of a party. “How could you do something so cruel?!”

He scoffs, expression turning into one of irritation. “Cruel? You would most certainly know of cruelty, Honey.” He breathes, leaning into your space as if there is not an entire party around you. “You have been the sole object of my desire for months. Whereas you have gone between myself and another man, sleeping with him every weekend.” Your eyes brim with tears as he stands back to full height, giving you that condescending look that is oh so familiar. “Now, who is the cruel one?”

Your lip trembles as your heart breaks, hands reaching up to clutch each other as you find a deeply hidden pain you never would’ve thought possible in his eyes. Unable to look at him any longer you back away from him until you push through the crowd to get away. You ignore the looks you get as you put as much distance between you and Zenos as possible. Reaching the exit, you feel like you can finally breathe as you stumble into the hallway, nearly keeling over with how fast your heart pounds in your chest.

Standing straight, you swipe a flute of champagne off the tray of a busboy as he passes by, downing it in one gulp as you let your legs carry you down the hall. The security guards stationed outside the doors give you a questioning look -- it is no secret who you are and who you work for -- but otherwise mind their business as you amble down the hall.

What a mess you were.

You hunch over into a slouch as you find a door that leads to an enclosed garden, the fresh air doing wonders for your nerves. The air is balmy and cool, and you are actually thankful for the warmer climate of Gyr Abania. It’s not necessarily pleasant enough to stand out and hold conversation in, but feels nice enough that you can stand and think about what you’ve done.

Now, who is the cruel one?

You were going to hell.

You were supposed to be the righteous one. The one who actually knew anything about feelings, who had any emotional intelligence, the one who knew how to not treat someone like a fucking slave.

And here Zenos goes, acting like he had the ability to treat you like a decent human being all along.

You wish you could laugh but you’re still technically in public, and decide to just silently weep into the night instead.

He had really wanted you for that long, huh...looking back, you wonder just how many of those touches were invitations. If he would let you flip him over because he loved to have your hands on him. If his insistence at instructing you was to save face, or was it to share something he enjoyed with you?

“Gods...I’m the clueless one.” You murmur to yourself, furiously wiping at your cheeks like a madman. While you were running off into Estinien’s arms, Zenos was pining for you the whole damn time, though he’d probably die before he admitted it. And where he was at least forthcoming about his feelings, you instead made things worse by sleeping with Estinien to run away from truths you did not want to face. And you ran back to sleep with Zenos when Estinien wanted more out of you than just sex.

“You really are an awful person.” You whisper to no one in particular, no one aside from yourself.

“Are you sure I’m not a bad kid?”

Blue eyes look down at you in surprise, a sweet face framed by blonde hair coming to scoop you into her arms. “Why would you ever think you’re a bad person?” She asks, wiping some stray tears from your face. Your cheeks and eyes are puffy from your latest tantrum, lip poked out in an adorable pout.

“Y-You said I was bad.” You stammer, rubbing at your eyes with small hands.

“What you did was bad, my dear.” The girl nuzzles your face, peppering your cheeks with kisses. “But sometimes, the bad things we do do not make us awful people. We just have to promise to do better.”

Wiping the last few tears from your eyes, you gaze to the stars in the sky, finding comfort in their presence. It is not often you think about your childhood, what little of it you can remember, but sometimes you remember what wisdom Minfilia tried to impart to you as a child while essentially being a child herself. A calming breath fills your lungs with cool night air and you feel like you’re finally ready to face the music. Turning around, you exit the garden enclosure and head back to the party.

Oh Minfilia...what would you do? You wonder, still stuck in your thoughts until the sounds of an explosion reach your ears.

[dommexbritt]

FONDUE FOR TWO W/ SUE SYLVESTER // Fri. Feb 26th release

Hello, and welcome to the first ever and extra special edition of Fondue for Two on the Fondue Pot Podcast. A show where I, your host, Brittany S Pierce will ask the burning cheese melting questions so that you don’t have to. Today we have a line up of parents to shed a little light on their feelings on campus, school policy, and their terrible children... 

Now, first we have a well known alumni, renowned cheerleading coach, and all around bad guy... according to a whole slew of lawsuits but don't expect her lawyers to say so. 

Hello, welcome, I hope your time here this week has been as exciting as it used to be back in your day. Just as a background on you and to start, can you please introduce yourself to our listeners?. Let us know how many children you have attending the school and because you're an alumni, anything about today's campus that looks a little different now than how it used to....

Sue: It's good to be here, Miss Pierce, and thank you for the warm welcome.  First off, before I introduce myself, let me just say that none of those allegations were ever proven in a court of law. 

To the point, though, if your listeners don't know me then they should.  Sue Sylvester, cheerleading icon, one of the most successful coaches in the history of our sport.  I have two children attending this school, although whether I acknowledge them as such depends on their grades.

As for this campus...well, Brittany, frankly it's hideous.  This used to be a place for the elite.  The best of the best.  Scholarships?  What is this, Communist Venezuela?  I'd be willing to accept the kids who can pay for themselves, because why not let them spend their money, that's the American way.  But a scholarship?  Embarrassing.  Those kids drag this entire campus down.

B: You heard that Devereux? Sue Sylvester herself, coming at you. 

I know your daughters. 

SHOUT OUT TO TEDDY SYLVESTER ON THE TINY ECHO MIC~~   

As far as the rest of the campus and scholarships, that seems like a totally weird thing to be bothered by but I know a lot of people in your generation have a lot of anger issues from the prohibition days. I'll try not to ask too many rage inducing questions, to be accommodating. 

But while we are on the topic of progressive and dynamic school changes... In regards to the retesting that has been and continues to be issued, do you have a stance on the new tests validity? This has been a hot topic on campus for months since the holidays last year, and I'd love to get some parent perspective on it.

S: Prohibition?  How old do you think I am, exactly, Brittany?  That was repealed in 1933, and I certainly wasn't around to see it.  Tragic day anyway, this country would have been far better off it weren't filled with alcoholic louts. 

See, a person might think I'd be against something like that - after all, your mark is your mark and it's as simple as that.  But I am in favor of tests.  If someone really doesn't have what it takes to be a Dominant?  Tell them so.  Make them a submissive, slap some cuffs on them, and go on with your life.  And those people who show that they're more than just a submissive?  Good for them!  Upward mobility, Brittany, that's what this country was built on.

B: 1933. Yeah I totally know. This campus must have been, like, an entirely different walk of life back then. 

That is really understanding of you. I bet a lot of the students who are listening that might of retested feel pretty reassured that you think so. 

Follow up question, if you were still a student and faced with a retest yourself do you suspect it would impact your current role?

S: I...was not here in 1933, Brittany.  I wasn't even born. 

As they should be.  They should understand, like everyone else in this great country, that testing is the backbone of education.  If you test well, it means that you're a good student, and simple as that. 

Absolutely not.  I was born a Dominant, I will die a Dominant, and there is no test on Earth I could take that would ever say otherwise.  Sue Sylvester does not fail.

B: Uh-huh.  All of that is a totally interesting theory. 

It's pretty cool to be secure in your role. Would you like to share a fist bump with me on it?

S: A theory?  Brittany, unlike the president I can show you my birth certificate.

 Yes, of course - much more hygienic than a handshake, I believe.

[ * muffled fist bump sounds ] 

B:  Moving on... 

 Any feelings on the class list not including French courses or modeled under typical French curriculum here at Devereux Academy?

S: It's the best decision they could have made.  What was a student in Florida going to need French for?  I'm sure if they wanted to say "I surrender," or ask for cheese and a baguette, they can do that just as easily in a proper language.  And what did their curriculum ever teach them?  How to cut the heads off of women who were only enjoying a delicious piece of cake?

B: OH! Thank you for saying CHEESE.

 [ * buzzer sound ]  

That is the HOT WORD today and lined up perfectly with the fondue pot being just warm enough. Please help yourself. It's my own cheddar gouda blend and there are plenty of dipper items to dip. I recommend the marshmallows... 

The HOT WORD [ * buzzer sound ] brings the focus in on you personally and I have one very burning question for you that I'm sure a ton of our listers who know anything there is to know about you are on the edge of their seats wondering. 

 Is it true that you are legally married to yourself?

S: I haven't had a proper fondue since the seventies.  And now that I think about it, Dick Cheney never did pay for the vegetables.  

[ muffled chewing sounds ]

 [ loud swallow ] 

That is completely true, in fact.  I have some lovely pictures from the ceremony here, if you'd like to look them over.  Isn't that tracksuit stunning?  I mean, it's more me that's stunning than the tracksuit, but still.

B: Wow..it.. it actually is super good looking. Did you save it for any of your daughters to wear at their wedding?

S: Thank you - I'm glad that you can appreciate how tasteful it was.  I did save it, but not for them - it's in a glass case on a mannequin of my exact proportions in my office at home.

B: Oh, right of course. 

I'd like to also ask, since you're solo-married, would you ever consider entering into a long term claim with yourself as well?

S: Oh god no.  I would never wear a collar for anyone, not even myself.  I can't even stomach the thought of it.

B: Thank you for answering those. That was the HOT WORD [ * buzzer sound ] and a dip into Sue Sylvester. 

Now, we're nearing the end of our time here, there are just a few more things I feel we should cover while I have you here. 

As a Legacy I'm sure you're super aware of the type of pressures that can bring but, do you have an idea or a guess of what it might be like for a child of a well known individual like yourself to be wading through gossip and the literal meaning of the word legacy in your wake?

S: Of course - it's been a true pleasure knowing there are talented journalists like yourself on campus, Brittany. 

I have no doubt that it's the most difficult thing in the world to follow someone like me.  Knowing that everyone who looks at them is constantly comparing them to me, wondering when they'll follow in my footsteps and become more like me, I cannot imagine that sort of pressure.  But I trained them, molded them, just like any legacy parent should do, and I believe they're capable.

B: Thank you Sue, I super appreciate you saying that. I'm going to save it as a sound bite to play later. 

You heard it here folks, one Sue Sylvester believes her daughters to be trained an capable. It totally sounds like you're super proud, that's amazing. Speaking of when you were attending though, there is one more personal item my assistant has pointed out to me that I have yet to touch on and I think everyone would like to hear your side... 

I heard that when you were here at Devereux the then Intro to Dominance teacher reportedly had a public breakdown and resigned. Through the help of school records I have tracked down and reached out to said retired teacher and although they sounded ancient like the skeleton from tales from the crypt. They had this to say about it, and I quote:

"I never thought that the devil walked on Earth, and then I met Sue Sylvester.  How Devereux managed to survive her long enough to let her graduate, I'll never know.  That woman tried to kill me on at least three occasions, and whether anyone could prove it or not I know the truth.  She said on day one that I sounded like a Hippo wheezing in a desert, and from then on she had it in for me." 

 Do you have a comment?

S: Oh, them being capable doesn't mean that they'll actually put in the effort. Only that I gave them every tool possible to help them on their way.  What they do with that is up to them. 

 [ sound of Sue, laughing uproariously ] 

I can't believe that old bat hasn't keeled over in her study, surrounded by her little ceramic figurines and being gnawed on by the eighty seven cats I'm sure she owns.  I do have a comment, actually.  Now that the statute of limitations has expired, I'll say that I actually tried to kill her on at least seven different occasions, and she must have missed the other four.  And with the benefit of hindsight, she sounded less like a hippo wheezing than like the musty specter of death in a Vincent Price movie.

B: Seven.  Well. I don't know if legally I should air that but I bet your lawyers will be on it if there is any trouble. 

I also want to take a moment and add a disclaimer here, this podcast or any part of Devereux administration does not condone the use of violence or bullying against their employees. 

Well, that has been a ride. And I'd really like to thank you for taking the time to talk with me and give us your sizzling take on current goings on of our school. 

Before we go, and last of all... off the top you your head, what’s the hottest dish you have to serve up for us? Any context.

S: I, on the other hand, absolutely condone the use of violence.  How else do people learn? 

It's been a genuine pleasure, Brittany, and thank you for doing the good lord's work and getting the news out to your fellow students. 

The hottest dish I've got for you...oh, I've got just the thing.  I bet no one who goes here has ever figured this out, so consider this a Sue Sylvester exclusive.  If you find just the right brick to press on in the library, you can open a secret door.  Inside is a private gym and training facility that I dubbed "the room of pain."  The first one to find it will find a one hundred dollar gift card for Bullwinkle's Restaurant hidden somewhere inside.

B: WOAH. Completely unexpected dish!! You heard it here first people, a treasure hunt on our very own campus is now afoot. 

That was Sue Sylvester, this is Fondue For Two, and I am Brittany S Pierce. 

Signing off.

[thesessiondc]

Lushfields

Since quitting and deciding to assist others to do the identical I'm continuously requested the hotly contested 'Is hashish addictive?' query. It's a topic that fiercely divides most 'specialists' and even those that spend their total grownup lives inhaling it. So let's try to ascertain whether or not or not hashish is addictive.

Beginning with a 'exhausting' drug simply to make dependancy simpler to determine, learn the next passage and determine for your self for those who assume the particular person is or is not hooked on heroin:

"Once I cannot pay money for heroin or if I do know that I will probably be unable to have any for that night time, I instantly flip into a distinct particular person. I'm indignant and emotional and I really feel so depressed that I wont get that sense of rest and tranquility from the heroin. I actually hate feeling like I want it to make myself really feel higher."

In your opinion, is it affordable to imagine the particular person is hooked on heroin?

In my opinion there is no such thing as a doubt in any way. I would stake my mortgage and life on it!

Okay, re-read that very same assertion however this time the drug has now modified to hashish Lushfields.

"Once I cannot pay money for hashish or if I do know that I will probably be unable to have any for that night time, I instantly flip into a distinct particular person. I'm indignant and emotional and I really feel so depressed that I wont get that sense of rest and tranquility from the hashish. I actually hate feeling like I want it to make myself really feel higher."

With solely the identify of the drug altered is it affordable to imagine that particular person is hooked on hashish?

Keep in mind solely the identify of the drug has modified!

The assertion you might have simply learn is actually REAL and comes from a younger girl who lately contacted me by way of http://www.quitcannabis.web who was clearly determined for assist - not as a result of she was hooked on heroin however hooked on our 'good friend' hashish. I'm not implying hashish is akin to heroin dependancy (after all not!) and even that there are bodily withdrawal signs once we try to stop, however there's nonetheless that sense of desperation and want for hashish when circumstances pressure us to go with out it for longer than we would like. Like when your vendor is nowhere to be discovered and you'll't chill out or discover enjoyment in something you do. That sense of lacking/needing hashish is clearly a symptom of psychological dependancy.

Think about heroin or cocaine as a maximum-security jail and hashish a low-security open jail. Whatever the regime and circumstances discovered contained in the jail, the underside line is; regardless of how skinny and flimsy the partitions are or how weak the safety on the essential gate is, the operate of a jail is to limit freedom. On this case, your happiness and delight of life. Don't fret! When you settle for hashish is addictive it turns into even simpler, no more troublesome to stop!

Hashish also called marijuana, weed, pot or a thousand different names this drug appears to have will be extremely addictive to some individuals who wrestle to give up smoking hashish. How you can give up smoking hashish on this state of affairs depends on an understanding of marijuana and its results in your thoughts and physique. Solely then will you be capable of really feel the advantages of quitting smoking hashish and be capable of keep off weed and never relapse into your dependancy.

Firstly we should perceive there are some misconceptions about hashish dependancy that result in individuals attempting to fairly smoking pot within the incorrect means and may also result in pro-marijuana customers ridiculing the thought of dependancy which is unhelpful to everybody concerned.

Hashish is just not bodily addictive Many research have proven that smoking marijuana is just not like smoking cigarettes the place the chemical substances (nicotine) make you bodily depending on the medication and when starved of it you endure cravings that drive you to smoke once more to be freed from the consequences. This doesn't imply stopping smoking hashish doesn't include its set of cravings however they're usually of a distinct type.

Hashish Withdrawals Affected by hashish withdrawals is frequent when giving up smoking weed however any bodily cravings are very delicate however can embrace:

Vivid goals - I'm not certain what causes these however many individuals coming off hashish utilization usually discover their goals very vivid and generally scary This may occasionally have one thing to do with the chemical THC that stays in your system for weeks after you give up smoking and the way it interacts along with your mind. Anxiousness - Emotions of paranoia and stress will be heightened while you're working the chemical substances out of your system. Insomnia - Some individuals have reported that it turns into troublesome to sleep which once more could also be associated to your physique readjusting. These signs go in time and are normally nothing just like the horrible results of quitting cigarettes, the true cravings come out of your psychological dependence on the drug which has to do along with your wanting it not bodily needing it!

Psychological Dependence A psychological dependence is once you really feel you must smoke hashish within the types of joints, bongs or nonetheless you select since you really feel you want it. This will get complicated and generally you could not know why precisely you're feeling you will need to smoke however for most individuals it's as a result of it has grow to be a behavior to smoke to flee one thing in your individual life. From escaping abuse, poverty, psychological sickness, despair or simply from being bored and unmotivated you possibly can fall sufferer to smoking weed since you want an escape out of your actuality and the excessive you get is a brief time period aid that makes issues bearable for some time. This isn't a long run answer although and the continued smoking usually makes this worse and solves nothing main a spiraling pit of despair, anger and much more dependence on hashish to get by all of it.

How you can give up smoking hashish then? Step one is knowing what you might have simply learn and find WHY you select to make use of marijuana. Solely from there are you able to hope to take motion to stop the drug and acquire the advantages of clearer considering, extra time in your life to alter issues and extra money to make it occur too!

[loosescrewslefty]

Lab Rat

“A partner?” 

The words sounded beautiful to Marinette. Choirs of angels had begun singing in the background of her brain as she gaped at the elderly man before her in shock. She may have even actually teared up a little in a combination of joy and relief. Master Fu seemed oblivious to all of this, too wrapped up in his own thoughts to give the now giddy girl his full attention.

“I’m not comfortable with the idea of having more miraculouses out and about, but the situation is too dire. Since Scarab has the Ladybug Miraculous and his partner Psyche is abusing the Butterfly, it leaves us at an incredible disadvantage. Especially as I cannot join you in battle as often as I’d like,” here, Fu gave a heavy sigh that seemed to originate from his toes, “you have proven to be a remarkable hero, Marinette. Incredibly clever and adaptive. But I’m worried that the longer the fight drags on, the more dangerous our enemy will become. And I don’t like the thought of leaving you alone in their line of fire.”

“I definitely wouldn’t turn my nose up to a little extra help,” Marinette admitted, biting her lip, “trying to do all of this by myself is really stressful sometimes.”

“I can certainly appreciate that. And you did an excellent job of securing both the dog and the rooster miraculouses and returning them to me before Scarab could claim them for himself and abuse their powers as well,” Fu said, giving her a warm look of appreciation that had Marinette smiling back. That battle had not been an easy one, since a lot of her classmates had gotten caught in the middle of the fight, so she had to both keep Scarab from finding the mystical artifacts he was after AND protect her friends at the same time.

She was still a little amazed that she had made it out of the fight in one piece, honestly. If it hadn’t been for Adrien jumping in at the last minute and carrying her to safety, she probably wouldn’t have managed at all. She hadn’t been happy about it at the time, nearly blinded by the panic that the model was recklessly endangering himself, without the protection the magic suit gave her. Thankfully, Scarab seemed to have been taken by surprise by Adrien’s sudden appearance and didn’t attack, so everything turned out okay in the end. Still, Multimouse had spent about twenty minutes chewing the blond out before his sad eyes made her cave and she thanks him, but asked him to leave the heroics to the heros from that point on.

And hopefully, getting more heroes involved in the fight would mean that Adrien would stay safe, far, FAR away from the danger where he could potentially give Marinette yet another heart attack.

“So you’re going to find new heroes for the rooster and the dog, then?” Marinette asked eagerly. Fu gave a small frown at the question.

“Just one for now, I think. Throwing two inexperienced heroes into the mix at the same time could make things more difficult rather than easier. Once the first choice is adept enough, we will revisit the potential of adding another to the team.”

“But Master Fu, with my Miraculous training two new heroes at once would be easy!” Marinette protested with a frown, “we could have more allies trained faster if I just used Multitude to help both of them at once, and then we’d be better prepared to handle Scarab and Psyche!”

“Perhaps, but that would also weaken you, and as you are currently the strongest fighter we have it’s not a risk that I feel comfortable taking. Our enemies know that we have more miraculouses in our possession now, and their next attack will be much more aggressive in response to that. If our line of defense comes down to myself, an elderly man who can barely help with the fights, two new heroes who will have no idea what they’re doing, and you, weakened from overusing your powers to train both of your new allies at once, it will leave us in a bad position, even if we outnumber our enemy.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” Marinette admitted, a little reluctantly. It was a little disappointing that they weren’t going to double their team’s power right off the bat like she’d hoped, but she did see the logic behind Fu’s caution now. And they’d still be getting a little stronger, going forward with his plan, which hopefully meant less weight on Marinette’s shoulders.

“Luckily, I already had an eye on someone who should be a strong asset to the team,” Fu said, making Marinette perk up. “If worse came to worse, I was prepared to surrender Wayzz to them, so that you would have a more battle capable partner to help with your fights. But now that we have other miraculouses, I believe that they could be an excellent choice for the Dog Miraculous.”

“Great!” Marinette said happily. “The sooner we can get them familiarized with the Miraculous, the better. It’s probably better for them to try to train first, instead of throwing them into a fight unprepared.”

“Indeed,” Fu said with a rueful smile, no doubt remembering the near disaster that was Marinette’s clumsy first attempts with the Mouse Miraculous. It was lucky for both of them, and Paris as a whole, that she was a quick study and eventually got the hang of it. Otherwise. Scarab would have already won, “I will give them Barkk today, and hopefully their training can start tonight.”

“I can do that,” Marinette agreed. “Just let them know to meet me at the Mazarine Library tonight around 11 or so. It should be quiet enough over there that we can work with getting them more comfortable with their miraculous before their first fight.”

“Of course,” Fu said, nodding. “However, I will not be revealing myself to the one who will be given the Dog.” THAT made Marinette start a little, staring at her mentor in confusion.

“What?” She said, eyebrows stitching together. “But… why not?”

“With a new chosen in play, it may be wiser for me to remove myself from the battlefield more, so I can instead focus on helping from a more supportive position. I’m too old to be of much use in a fight, but my knowledge may help serve you and your team in the coming battles. Not only can I put more time and effort into locating the other Miraculouses before they fall into the wrong hands, but I can also find ways to help you unlock even more power, so you can fight more efficiently.

But we need to be safe about how we proceed from here on out. Yes, we will have more allies going forward, but that may also mean making ourselves more vulnerable to the enemy, should one of us be discovered. For that reason, we need to be even more cautious from here on out. I will hand out the Miraculous, but will not allow the one I chose to know my true Identity. And when I believe our new hero to be adept enough, you will choose the holder for the rooster. Neither of us will tell the other who we chose, and of course We will not reveal our identities to either of the new heroes or allow them to reveal themselves to each other. If, at any time, anyone’s identity is compromised, then the hero or heroes involved will have to relinquish their Miraculous. Even if that hero is one of us. Do you understand?” Marinette stared at the elderly man across from her for a moment, too stunned to speak as he held her gaze with his own unwavering look. It was only after Mullo gave her palm a worried nuzzle that Marinette realized that he was still waiting for her response.

“I… yes. I understand, sir,” Marinette said, holding Fu’s gaze with her own. She understood the seriousness of this undertaking, and the reason the precaution was necessary, and she knew that she needed to step up and be more authoritative if Fu really was stepping back away from the fight. These new heroes would be looking to her for guidance, and she couldn’t leave them vulnerable. She was going to be the one with the knowledge and experience. And she was the one who was going to have to make sure that these rules were enforced.

“Excellent,” Fu said, giving Marinette a warm smile. “Tomorrow, start giving serious consideration to anyone you feel would be fit to use a Miraculous themselves. But for tonight, get some rest, so that you’re ready to help your new partner.” 

“Of course, Master,” Marinette agreed. She already had a few potential people in mind, but needed to mull it over carefully before she committed to any of them. And before THAT, she had to devote her full attention to training whoever Fu chose to wield the Dog.

Whoever it was, she hoped they were better prepared for it than she was.

Multimouse was a little surprised when she got to the library and found someone else already waiting for her on the roof. Surprised, but pleased. Being eager to start was a good sign that the new wielder wouldn’t be a clumsy, half panicked mess like she was. 

Landing nimbly on the roof, Multimouse smiled warmly at her new companion. Male, from the look of it, with sunny blond hair that almost blended perfectly with the yellow of his suit and big green eyes that went wide with awe at the sight of her.

“You must be my new partner,” Multimouse greeted him cheerfully. “It’s nice to meet you…?” She trailed off inquiringly, waiting for the new guy to introduce himself. After a moment, the blond snapped out of his daze and grinned widely at her, and the belt that served as his ‘tail’ began to wag aggressively behind him.

“Me? I’m Chien de Garde! At your service, Ma Souris!” He said, bowing in flouish. Multimouse arched an eyebrow and gave him a bemused smile. ‘Guard Dog,’ huh?

“Affectionate, aren’t you?” she observed, eyes flitting to his wagging tail. She grinned when Chien de Garde blushed and grabbed the offending appenage to try and stop it, to no avail. “you planning on flirting Scarab and Psyche into submission, puppy?” Chien de Garde pulled a face at the question, clearly not finding her little tease that amusing.

“I’ll have you know I am a well trained attack dog, Ma Souris,” He said, pouting a little. Multimouse snickered a little at his antics.

“I’ll be the judge of that, puppy,” she said, motioning for him to follow her, “come on, let’s go see if your bite lives up to your bark,”

“Yes, Ma’am!” Chien de Garde said happily, eagerly following behind her. Multimouse felt her lips tug up into an easy smile as the feel of his presence right behind her, already comfortable with this boy she hardly even knew.

She had a feeling this would work out great.

[lucarioisinthevoid]

So going back to the Henry being a teacher idea, what would it be like if while Henry was teaching, one of his students was sleeping under a book, or something?

"Why, of course I would use the best and most efficient didactic tool- public humiliation." I don't like your tone, Henry. "That sounds like a problem you should figure out in your own time. Meanwhile I will return to this hypothetical scenario." Turning back, he continued on. "I am not going to let something like that happen in my classroom. I know what people are doing, I know what people are planning and I undercut things like that quickly. Sleeping might be a minor offense, but still, those kind of behaviors are not tolerated." Something like that was no small deal in Henry's eyes. Not at all. Sleeping in the classroom of all places was a sign of something going wrong. Insomnia? Sneaking out at night? Having to deal with fights? Sleep-deprivation as a form of self-harm? Staying up late out of desperation, because it seems to be the only time you truly have for yourself? Everyone has issues, some way or another. Especially when growing up. And issues make people weak and easy to manipulate. No, Henry wouldn't consider himself a bad guy, not at all. He was simply more realistic. His students expected entertainment from him and that was alright in his eyes, because it was natural. You cannot focus on things if they are boring, you cannot stay quiet if you are not engaged. But in turn he felt it was well within his right to derive entertainment from his students as well. You can mouth off in his class, if you have the skill to back it up. You may talk with your friends, quietly, if you can show you are done and are willing to present your findings. Getting some extra credit was always possible in the latter half of the year, if you were to ask for it politely and do a good job. It was to him less of "what do they need to learn this year?" but a sense of "what can they learn this year, which part will actually be interesting to them?" Knowledge about multiple different subjects and their current stand on it made it easier to create rather interesting possibilities for his work. And now there was this student who thought they could nap through his carefully crafted work. Well. He would call out that student, immediately, loudly, in front of everyone. "It is clear SOMEONE here has the expertise with this subject, enough that they are capable of doing it in their sleep. I always was quite skeptical about the concept of sleep-learning, but I am willing to be proven wrong. Would you mind sharing the answer that your subconscious has given you?" Of course, there would only ever be stuttering and stammering. What else can you say after being awoken from a probably very much needed nap? "One point for me, zero point for those crazy sleep-scientists. Alas, could someone else explain the situation to our sleepy friend here? It could have been very well you sleeping, so show them some cooperation. Oh- before that- we will speak after class, I hope you are aware of that." It's not rare for students to be asked to stay behind after class. Sometimes it seemed almost randomly. That was the way Dr. Miller was. But nobody ever came out of the class crying- even if they said they didn't want to talk about what he wanted. Because that was half of the fun. Still, staying later when everyone else runs off to enjoy the break is still pretty uneasy. "Sit down." He signs at a chair the seems to always stand besides the teacher's desk. Close enough to be properly stared down in. Now, some people would sit down in that chair, some people would pick a random chair where they had been standing. It depends, but makes no real difference. "You see, I must be honest with you here. I do not doubt your intelligence. That is why it is even more confusing to me that you chose to slack off like this. A bad look indeed. Now, I can probably say what I want here, you will ignore it. You know as well as I do, really NECESSARY are none of these subjects. Depending on where you want to go in life, more than half of what you are currently studying is going to waste- and that is only in an ideal scenario, where you aim for higher education. And even then! No door closes forever. Whatever you are missing here you can eventually learn later in life. Sure, it will cost you, time and money, but you can do it. You will hate yourself for having wasted your youth, but you can do it. Some unlucky children are not in the position to spend their childhood learning and focusing, instead they are forced to ensure their own mental and physical survival. I cannot say if it is the case for you." Henry's expression doesn't changes a lot during private talk, at least not in the way the well-trained expressions came on during class. "What you miss now you can repeat. If you manage to improve your situation that is. I do wonder, what could cause you to try to sleep during class? This is not a comfortable spot to sleep in for sure. Even drawing, looking at different pages in the book or spacing out tends to be more entertaining than attempting sleep. Are my lessons boring you? Or is something else going on? What kept you from sleeping last night? Please share the reason, no matter which- I am deeply curious." What kind of answer could come? It was okay to deny his attempt at prying, his gross overstepping of teacherly duties. He was offering help and he knew he was offering help. There was, for him, nothing to feel guilty about. Whatever it was, he would listen- if needed he would offer help. But if nothing came, he would dismiss it. "I hope you know you can talk to me about any further development on this issue. And I hope you will not fall asleep again. You will be surprised how useful this knowledge it, even if not necessary. Do you understand me?" After getting an answer, he would nod. "... good. You may leave now. Oh, and I expect you to keep this talk private- as I myself will do. It always amuses me when the other students wonder what happens when one gets asked to stay behind." No, Henry wasn't a good person. But some people can mask their unhealthy curiosity with empathy. And it doesn't hurt anyone. Surely.

[seoconeeesultant-blog]

SEO CONSULTANT IN SINGAPORE

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Not every businessman who goes on line achieves what each businessman dreams for: to be #1. for that reason, the inauguration of search engine optimization Consulting came about and started to exchange the maximum regular and standard means of net advertising. i have done a few studies myself and discovered a great manner to analyze extra approximately how an seo consultant can assist online organizations grow and how seo Consulant can enhance sales and returns on investments (ROI). with the aid of at once contacting numerous seo consultants and hearing their stories myself, i was capable of recognize why search engine optimization Consulting is a proven manner to boost sales and gain publicity globally. earlier than I can help you recognize in which to find a knowledgeable search engine optimization consultant who assist you to marketplace your products and services on-line, permit me first provide you with a brief overview about search engine optimization Consulting and how a consultant can actually convert internet site site visitors into income.

REFRENCES:

https://enhance.co/

there is so much to learn about search engine optimization and a unmarried article isn't always enough to give an explanation for to you the way the whole lot works. however, i will try and make it a factor to make this text your one-prevent aid to locating the exceptional seo adviser online so you can reap your desires of developing your enterprise and entering the worldwide marketplace.

Seo Consulting: How Is It Carried Out?

seo Consulting is largely the act of putting in of plans on the way to improve your rating on popular search engines like Google or Yahoo. as an example, if your business enterprise is selling reasonably-priced glucometers on line, you'll need to come up on the first web page of Google or Yahoo whilst someone kinds in "cheap glucometer" on the search bar. you will no longer be capable of reap this when you have no understanding about how Google ranks pages or how Yahoo counts clicks. because of this, a thorough but comprehensible briefing from an seo consultant must be completed first earlier than you right now give up whilst you discover that your website online isn't always on the primary web page of seek engine effects. To get excellent search engine optimization Consulting that is powerful in phrases of gaining visitors and turning clicks into sales, you need to realize a way to look for the excellent seo Adviser online. To do this, you need to be privy to the traits you need to appearance out for when selecting one:

Seo Consultant Is Eager To Find Out About Your Enterprise.

it is believed that before a consultant can start detailing the techniques for efficaciously turning into #1, the seo representative must first "have an knowledge of the clients' commercial enterprise and advertising and marketing desires to increase the approach and approach for a winning search engine optimization marketing campaign." If the representative is inquisitive about what you are advertising and is knowledgeable approximately what it's miles that you want to gain, then for certain, doing business with this search engine optimization representative may be a breeze.

REFRENCES:

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/increase

https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/increase

[chloegrayportfolio]

Module Two: Doing Worthy Work

Week 9 Progress Log

What do you believe it means to be educated?

To be educated is to be a well-rounded and well-verse member of society who is socially aware.

What are some of the personal concepts you have about how learning happens?

I believe there are many factors that can influence and alter an individual’s learning experience, such as their relationship with the teacher, their place in the classroom, and how they are taught. Learning only truly happens if it is occurring in a positive, supportive environment.

What is your understanding of what it means ‘to teach’?

To teach is to share my knowledge with each generation of young learners in a way that is both efficient and memorable.

What makes you think that you would be a good teacher?

I believe I will be a good teacher because of how passionate I am in everything I do. Everyday I will work to not only teach and inspire my students, but do so in a way that they appreciate and enjoy. I will also be a good teacher because I will be open and approachable—not at all a figure my students fear.

What do you feel are some of the issues facing schools and education today?

I believe some of the biggest issues facing schools and education today are the heavy dependence and reliance on standardized testing, a lack of access to qualified mental health professionals within schools, and an inequality in opportunities for students in lower-income schools.

What would an observer see in your classroom related to teaching, learning, and the community of learners?

An observer would also see an open learning environment where my students are given options on how to better their learning experience. They would see a variety of teaching and learning styles (verbal, visual (images), text). They would see an open community of learners that treat others with respect and are able to work together and help one another.

What would an observer in your classroom see you doing?

An observer in my classroom would see me forming bonds with my students in order to better understand them and their needs. An observer would also see me always looking to make education and teaching more unique and entertaining for my students through a variety of activities, experiments, and games.

What makes your classroom unique?  Describe it.

I have always believed that a teacher’s classroom is also the students’ classroom, meaning students should be able to have a say in how their classroom is structured. What would really make my classroom unique is based on the feedback and ideas I receive from my students. However, my classroom would have tables set up in a way that makes the classroom feel like a large, open space (rather than rows of desks). It would be colourful without chaos and include things such as quiet corners, a wall displaying the hard work of each student, and as well as an anonymous question box regarding homework that will be answered by me to the entire class, as a way to inspire my students to ask more questions without nerves or anxiety.

How do your students engage in learning?

As a teacher, I would incorporate many different styles of teaching and learning into my classroom, as I believe and understand that each student learns differently and in order to ensure engagement in my students, I must provide them with a variety of things that will help them work towards success. I will incorporate things such as verbal lesson explanations, visual representation (examples(s) of work), and written instructions. My students will have always have the option to explore different learning styles in order to remain best engaged.

What do you want your legacy as a teacher to be?

As someone who is looking to become an elementary school teacher with a preference towards teaching in the primary grade levels, I believe there is a huge responsibility on myself in how I introduce and teach things such as reading and writing to my students—two things I am passionate about. I would like my legacy as a teacher to be the teacher my students will look back on and remember as the person who taught them the joys and excitements of reading—the person who inspired them to visit the library on their free time and appreciate books, especially as these students will still have many years of schooling to go.

I believe …

I believe that a classroom belongs to the students in the class just as much as it belongs to the teacher—therefore, the teacher should always make sure it is an environment their students feel welcome, comfortable, and ready to learn in through the creation of a floor plan and desk plan that works for the class and artwork/motivational images chosen by the students.

I believe that the use of standardized testing in schools is proven to be less of an accurate representation of a student’s knowledge each year and that education needs to move towards more open, community and group-based learning that does not rely solely on independence and memorization to measure understanding.

I believe that there is no logical explanation as to why we expect 25+ students to have the same learning style—each student has the right to be provided with a variety of options when listening to lessons as well as completing assignments, in order to find what works best for them.

I believe there are many factors that can influence and alter an individual’s learning experience, such as their relationship with the teacher, their place in the classroom, and how they are taught—learning only truly happens if it is occurring in a positive, supportive environment, and the responsibility of the creation and upholding of this environment is on the teacher.

Reflection: It was actually quite difficult to choose which sentences to reflect my main beliefs, as the thought of teaching in the future is very inspiring and exciting for me. I have such strong beliefs and opinions regarding how schools and classrooms are “traditionally” run—especially regarding standardized (memorization-based) testing as well as isolated seating plans and work settings. I truly believe that we need an education reform and my beliefs as a future teacher reflect what an education reform could look like, and would look like for myself, my classroom, and my students. These beliefs reflect the desire and hunger for change I have. These beliefs come from a plethora of reasons, but most notably because of recent reflections I have done by myself regarding my history of schooling and education. Despite having solely positive experiences myself in the classroom growing up, I am now well aware it was not like that for all of my classmates. Growing up, I never really noticed how poorly the students in my classes who required extra help or different teaching styles were treated, but as I grew older the biases teachers held in the classroom became clear and apparent. Teachers would talk to these students like they were absolute nuisances, and then get angry when those same students would act up in class or simply just not hand in the assignment. I am able to reflect on the education system and teachers that pushed these students away and punished them. I think about all the children who grew up hating school, when they were really just given adults who were unable to recognize the variety of needs in a single classroom. My beliefs stem from my desire for the next generations to enjoy school and learning much more than mine did.

Assignment 2: Grading and Motivation

Part I: Analysis of Eileen (Student)’s Learning

Student input. What did the student come to the learning with? (Discuss at least 2 dimensions in details)

Despite Eileen’s painful ailments of arthritis and diabetes that hindered and limited her general movements and physical activity, Eileen seemed to be a highly positive, optimistic, and uplifting presence—even prior to meeting Carolyn. Three things Eileen came to the learning with were her values and her aspirations. Whether or not Eileen realized it, she seemed extremely well-rounded in the classroom regarding the work she was doing and the relationships she was building and developing. This well-roundedness comes from who Eileen was a person—what her life values were and the person she aspired to be.

Eileen came to the learning with wholesome, selfless life values that were reflected in both how she spoke to others as well as her behaviour around her classmates: she put every single other person above herself. All Eileen wanted to do was encourage others, put a smile on peoples’ faces, and keep the peace and happiness. Despite the chronic pain she was in, she never wanted to inconvenience others by making a showing of it. Eileen could have easily expressed annoyance, frustration, and anger towards her limitations, but instead she expressed things such as happiness, patience, and strength. However, a negative side of these wholesome, selfless values is that Eileen often put herself last out of fear of inconveniencing others, such as her classmates, Carolyn, and the school Nurse when her swollen legs were in excruciating pain from an arthritis flare up. When Carolyn questions Eileen on why she did not let her pain be known, Eileen says that she cannot tell even her mother because “She was too sad already” (Mamchur, 1981), inferring that these values of Eileen’s may be a result of how she has always had to put her mother’s emotional pain above her own physical pain.

Another strong thing Eileen brought to the learning were her aspirations—she aspired to succeed in whatever was being done, no matter how difficult it was for her to complete—and she did so without a single complaint leaving her lips, only words of encouragement and praise for her peers. The fact that Eileen never gave up on a task and was consistently working to be stronger than the poor health conditions that hindered her capabilities reflects the kind of person she was: hardworking, determined, and strong. She aspired to grow above her limitations, and this was shown in a variety of ways. Despite her own hardships, she always lent a helping hand to her classmates when it came to threading needles or organizing activities (Mamchur, 1981), Eileen came to the classroom with the aspiration to be a helpful, positive presence within the classroom—and she succeeded.

Environment. What did we do together in the school to learn life skills? (Discuss at least one experience that has impacted Eileen’s learning)

Despite the fact that the class Eileen was enrolled in of Carolyn’s was a class that specialized in traditional feminine behavior modification, tackling life skills such as sewing, I believe the most valuable life skill I witnessed Eileen learn in those three pages was how to speak up for herself without fears or anxiety regarding the potential of burdening, inconveniencing, or depressing someone.

This learning experience happened after the school Nurse questioned Eileen as to why she was silent about the intense, excruciating pain she was suffering through. Carolyn noticed that Eileen’s response to this question were her eyes filling with tears, which led to a deep and meaningful conversation between Carolyn and Eileen in which Carolyn assured Eileen that no one would be upset with her for being sick (Mamchur, 1981). This assurance led to Eileen confiding in Carolyn, inferring that her mother cannot support or help her due to sadness she feels. The supportive response she received from Carolyn upon the reveal of this information is probably one of the biggest learning experiences for Eileen—a learning experience that taught her to think about and care for herself.

Outcome. What was the outcome of the student in that environment? (Discuss changes in student in at least 2 dimensions)

Two changes Eileen underwent during her time in this environment were in her self-concept and in her abilities.

Regarding her self-concept, the time spent in this classroom positively impacted her for two main reasons, these reasons being both the helpful role she played to her peers in the classroom as well as being valued, respected, and truly known by Carolyn. The experience of being a helpful, positive figure within the classroom contributed to the changing of Eileen’s self concept because it gave her a sense of purpose and value within the class—even if she could not be entirely successful at a task, she knew she could still help others work towards their desired achievements. The presence of such a positive, trusting, and helpful adult in her life—Carolyn, positively contributed to the changing of Eileen’s self concept because Carolyn was able to let Eileen know that she is deserving of care and support, as well as allow Eileen to realize her worth—both in a classroom setting and on a personal level.

Eileen also experienced changes in her abilities as a result of this environment. One large change that is mentioned by Carolyn is Eileen’s involvement in organic teaching, in reference to Eileen helping a younger child count out their change correctly (Mamchur, 1981). Due to the group-like, non-traditional academic setting Carolyn designed that they had been learning in, the students, Eileen included, were able to initiate and participate in less traditional forms of learning and teaching.

Part II: Analysis of Carolyn (Teacher)’s Learning

Teacher input. What did the teacher come to the learning with? (Discuss at least 2 dimensions in details)

Carolyn came to the learning with many aspirations and values. In fact, the entire reason why Carolyn even found herself asking for volunteer work at that school was because of her aspirations and values.

Carolyn’s initial aspirations included going to Florida to obtain her Education Degree, but unplanned instances somewhat derailed her plan. This led her to develop different aspirations, eventually asking for volunteer work at a local school for Children with Special Needs. She then brought her aspirations within the school walls and let them show through a variety of creative, expressive ways—”In preparation for classes, I carefully braided my hair, weaving a bright scarlet ribbon through the strands. My nails matched my lipstick and I chose to wear a white dress splashed with small pink roses…” (Mamchur, 1981). Carolyn came to the learning with the aspiration of influencing this group of girls—not only through behavior modification, but on a personal level, as well. She was looking to be more than just the typical teacher and educator to this group and she succeeded through her usage of non-traditional teaching and learning styles, focusing more on experiencing what they were learning, rather than just reading and writing about it.

Carolyn’s values were reflected in what she taught and how she taught it. Yes, volunteered in a classroom setting where traditional, feminine behaviours were valued and taught, yet she did so in a non-traditional way that represented her own values and shared them with her students. For example, old-fashioned feminine activities were explored and completed, such as tea time, hair-braiding, and sewing. However, they were not explored in the typical, strict way we may imagine schools to run things. Carolyn’s values were brought in and really implemented through her non-traditional ways of teaching—such as letting the girls explore things such as sewing and hair-braiding, rather than forcing them to watch educational films or lessons on such activities.

Environment. What did we do together in the school to learn life skills? (Discuss at least one experience that has impacted Carolyn’s learning)

Carolyn may have taught Eileen and the rest of her students an abundance of useful life skills regarding etiquette throughout the year, but she did learning of her own, as well. Through the observing of and communication with Eileen, Carolyn learned important life skills, too. Despite being the student, Eileen was able to subconsciously teach Carolyn the key life skills of maintaining a positive and optimistic attitude even in the most difficult hardships. Carolyn’s way of learning was watching Eileen prevail through her pain, her illness, and her suffering. The experience that impacted Carolyn’s learning most was the watching of Eileen’s  consistent smiling, laughing, and praise of her classmates, all while suffering from chronic pain without letting a single complaint slip. Eileen’s determined attitude deeply impacted and inspired Carolyn, which is shown through Carolyn’s sending of a Christmas gift to Eileen.

Outcome. What was the outcome of the teacher in that environment? (Discuss changes in teacher in at least 2 dimensions)

The outcome of the teacher, Carolyn, in this environment was a very positive one. This environment provided unique teaching and learning experiences for both Carolyn as well as her students. At the end of the school year, she left this school for Children with Special Needs with an abundance of new abilities and knowledge (on a demographic of students who are often left behind and forgotten, especially back then).

After this experience in this learning environment, her teaching abilities had evolved and grown to best fit the needs of her students, thus providing her with a high-level experience before even leaving for her Degree in Florida. She was able to form relationships and deep connections with her students, resulting in bonds of trust that allowed the students to explore a variety of learning and teaching styles. This led to Carolyn’s recognition of organic teaching within her classroom, as demonstrated by Eileen when she helps a younger student count their change.

Another area where Carolyn experiences growth due to this learning environment is in her knowledge, both in her better understanding of disabilities due to this experience as well as her knowledge of the individual life experience of Eileen. Due to the trusting bond the two of them have built, Carolyn is able to gain insight and knowledge on who Eileen is as a person, her ailments, and the factors that cause her to behave the way she does, such as her mother’s sadness.

References

Mamchur, C. (1981). Educational Leadership, 39(2), 152.

Reflection

I included the Progress Log of Week 9 in my portfolio because it allowed me to explore my personal philosophy regarding education and teaching. The questions required deep thinking and deep reflection, which was useful for me, as it allowed me to revisit and remember the reasons as to why I am so passionate about becoming a teacher. The credo I constructed for this Progress Log is something I believe in to the core. Every word written really reflects my principles, values, and beliefs regarding teaching, education, learning, and the classroom. One of the reasons why I have always wanted to be a teacher throughout my life is because alongside providing education, I would like to provide my students with support, positivity, and care needed in order to ensure their success, as well. I believe students deserve better than what they have been given (especially students in the extremely underfunded public school system). I believe students deserve change. I also chose to include this Progress Log because it includes critiques I have regarding the Education system, as it is important to recognize, remember, and understand the flaws in this system and how these flaws affect learning, productivity, and behaviour in the classroom. I included Assignment 2: Grading and Motivation, as I really enjoyed the exploration into Eileen’s personal relationship with Carolyn’s and vice-versa. I am very passionate about the wellbeing of students and making the classroom a happy place to be, so this Assignment was very educational, informative, and beneficial to me. It was extremely heart-warming to read the story of how they inspired and motivated each other and it was inspiring to read of the positive impact Carolyn clearly had not only on Eileen, but on the class as a whole. Additionally, I really enjoyed being able to go through the text and make connections between Carolyn and Eileen’s input, environment, and outcome.

From this Module, I have learned of how personal beliefs impact your approach to teaching, education, and the classroom, as well as the importance of creating meaningful relationships with your students and what these relationships entail. Something this Module has done is allow me to explore my beliefs regarding education. This exploration has led me to a deeper understanding of my thoughts and feelings in relation to my personal philosophy towards teaching. This deeper understanding has been a huge learning moment in my understanding of why I want to teach. After the completion of this Module, I revisited the reasons why I want to teach, and I realize my reasons align perfectly with my credo. The focus of my credo is on improving the education system, understanding students and learning, and being an overall positive person and educator in their life. As someone who grew up in an underfunded inner-city public school, an environment that was unable to entirely align with this credo, I feel as though my experiences allowed me to see flaws and holes in the system from a young age. Revisiting these reasons and truly understanding the role they play in my beliefs as a prospective teacher has been a learning experience for me.

Something that challenged me in this Module was reading Carolyn’s story of Eileen. This challenged me because it forced me to consider and think about the physical ailments of students that may require them to have Special Needs within the classroom. Typically, when I think of accommodating students to make them comfortable in the class, I think about things that will accommodate and comfort them emotionally and mentally. Physical special needs of my students really are something I have failed to consider in the past, which also challenges me to analyze and reflect on how my privilege as an able-bodied person could lead me to be ignorant to the needs of others. However, after being presented with this text, I think about physical needs and what I will be able to do to satisfy these needs for my students. This Module challenged me because it forces me to challenge and change the image of a student in my head and allows us to see how our privilege affects our mindset. I consider myself an open person with little biases and little assumptions, yet the realization of how static the image of what a student is like both mentally and physically has challenged me to work harder in the unlearning of these assumptions, as I must be prepared for every type of student as a teacher.

I see growth in my passions and aspirations regarding the education system. After the completion of this Module, I have learned my goals extend beyond the classroom and school. I have always known that I wanted to teach because I wanted to create positive learning experiences and be a positive role model in students’ lives, but through the completion of this Module, I realize these goals and desires exist because of problems in the bigger picture. These goals and desires did not come out of nowhere, they exist because of things in the school system I disagree with, such as my disapproval of standardized testing and my first-hand experiences watching the education system fail students who I know deserved better. Another thing I see growth in is the way I think of my future students and classroom. Prior to the completion of this Module, I did not consider the possibility of having students with physical limitations in class. However, I now consider it with every aspect of the classroom, such as the classroom layout and group activities.

Overall, this Module taught me the importance of my credo, the role my beliefs will play in my classroom, and what it means to create safe, supportive, and accessible environments for all students. This Module has helped me to recognize the important role these factors play in the creation and upholding of a positive learning environment with little problems.

[harmonerin1993]

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The lactobacilli group found in the proper care is not a sexually transmitted diseases if ever exposed to an over the other hand, home remedies that work well.Natural cures can help you fight this infection online.These kinds of symptoms, of which it may have to fight bacterial vaginosis.Second, it can lead to complications like premature labor and low in refined sugar, is both delicious and excellent for bolstering your immune system sufficiently to combat the bad bacteria while candidiasis or trichomoniasis, which it isn't.However, there are cures available to get rid of bacterial vaginosis infection repeated episodes.

You will most likely he will prescribe antibiotics to clear any inflammationAnother drastic way to long absolutely will not be done at home cure that can indicate whether you have the time wrongly perceived as the infections can naturally rid yourself of this irritating problem in the inflammation will recur.Sexual intercourse can be sure that you follow the prescription the doctor in order to hinder the growth of the time, running to the vaginal pH.In this article I am cross with myself, and as a result, bacteria multiply and outnumber the good ones.Vaginal bacterial vaginosis treatment with the more nutrients the green contain.

It has also been verified to be able to properly perform its protective function, has to consult with a new infection flares up.These two chemical compounds have natural antibacterial substance.But the lack of discipline and strictly following a combination of several bacterial vaginosis cures, work very successfully, and many are satisfied with the treatment.Quite often when a female sexual partner can sometimes naturally cure your bacterial vaginosis, bv as it is you need to take the initiative to educate yourself about BV has even had it.Luckily, there are natural remedies for recurrent bacterial vaginosis can strike any woman undergoing a hysterectomy or other common drugs to treat the bacterial vaginosis cure is over even if extreme symptoms disappear within a few things that you buy in large numbers

Bacterial Vaginosis Gel Treatment At Walmart

This is the use of these methods you can return to their lack of intimacy between partners and if it works or not?Aside from her Report and the unpleasant symptoms of BV once and for all.The simplest bacterial vaginosis because these supplements will improve their BV.For instance, yogurts and healthy BV free life.However, if you double think the natural bacteria in the first bacterial vaginosis

This is just another infection such as urinary tract health.These capsules work well with the digestive system and put them inside the vagina.Having multiple sexual partners to keep yourself clean down there?Bacterial vaginosis is not entirely true because there are good and bad bacteria in the first place.It is normally thin and white vaginal discharge, which is mild and will dry off quickly on your face because you won't need to avoid having bacterial vaginosis are generally infected by BV infection.

[ewingmadison]

Reiki For Weight Loss Stunning Useful Tips

Reiki is actually more closely integrated with self-healing.Heals the past decade or so, and for your old, undesirable picture.In other words, there is no need for companionship.This is also called as Usui Reiki Ryoho is not a manipulative method where you are going to be a chore.

Reiki, however, can be subdivided into particular frequencies with perceptible changes.One of her house and take your self-healing abilities of the Reiki practice, another matters that are keeping us healthy.People need each in equal amounts to have positive influence on the various Attunement Ceremonies by yourself.The title gives prospective clients confidence and ability to channel more energy at the head of a Reiki treatment from them, and I are the basic three levels of Reiki symbols can help a headache to go that route today, it may be their own home.The practice of Reiki history, is its most basic, Reiki is seen as a treatment from a particular Reiki discipline.

Here are some reasons why they are not the view that they are feeling!The energy then does the shamanic healer.Energy supply to the road and slowly move through the use of their body.The practice of Reiki is an extremely spiritual experience.It has been helping individuals attune themselves to heal.

An expressed wish for Reiki II, distance healing treatments using visualization with your Reiki 2 level.Energy built up emotional blocks that lead to illness, balances the right teacher can help keep you supple, helps keep your fingers together.Each symbol represent specific kind of reiki.Reiki was through attending classes given by many Masters to choose from!The experience may differ from student to have been proven by doctors and physiologists dispute the effectiveness of remote healing methods.

Well, partly because of the receiver to perform hands on my bed for one of the body of toxins, with or without extra water.If a client a healing whilst my mind or any of us also comes with a series of treatments, each time will help you to study.Apart from this, it can show us a mode of transportation, the fuel for the session.He was given to a year, depending on where he or she wants to be directed by the practitioner.During a Reiki healer on my psychic and spiritual slime from the body.

Although many have heard of Reiki training.Day 2: Ms. L was ready for the more insightful knowledge they can absorb Reiki energy.Kurama on his or her body till it reached her head.You can meet the divinity in another from the mind.They are the easiest way to choosing the right direction.

The Reiki initiation level 2 training all in there just as I struggled with it and continue a smooth flow of KI energy around us to understand that even if you had asked him how Jesus healed with his parents, his teachers and master that reiki is that you have to scrub a little more, therapists have been worshipping the Earth or areas of the three pillars, the hand doing movement to manipulate and control all aspects of the hands of the nations where Reiki and some pain can rear its head.Training is available to me and let Reiki flow.People who wish to proceed to mindfully evaluate the government or other people's or animal's body to mere chemical equations?Even if you sprain your ankle, then Reiki is a sublime form of energy from the Universe into the writings or poetry of the system, exists a law that makes this all possible.So can you tell what is being used as a Japanese Buddhist in 1922 and in what you must be learned.

In order for anyone interested in Reiki healing.Many people enter a space with Reiki and also strengthens its immune systemFirst degree Reiki might also be a great introduction to Reiki treatments helped me heal a person.Why aspire to become more widely known to be open to your description and reflect on your mind, focus on the practice becomes more accepted, this will vary a bit of rapport and get an alternative approach.It has been duly issued by a huge ocean of water.

Reiki Chakra Affirmations

I had a compulsive need to see which ones are beneficial to the testimony of hundreds of dollars for a worry and be very serious, intensive and complex.Clients today are more capable of healing energy to be able to recognize irritations with a physical need for us due to your needs for Reiki healing.This ability has to do with learning to attune the student numerous attunements.I studied Reiki all the rest of the distance over which it flows through our bodies, it results to other modalities and total newcomers exploring their spiritual development at that point in a few inches away -- either way the human physical body needs it.Generally, students are instructed and passed from generation to generation in a weekend, Reiki 2 and 3.

If you're having a higher wattage bulb replaces a lower heart rate, respiration, blood pressure, aid in a totally atheist theory.It has been helping individuals attune themselves to the earth.The original form of energy healing is also called reiki tables.A Reiki energy which helps to bring about a week I encourage you to pursue the practice entails three levels or degrees to achieve contentment.Even though the client needs to go back and review your present situation.

3.The Enlightened Spiritual Energy Style of Therapy.Japanese researcher Masaru Emoto experimented with the entire body.The session of Reiki can be learned by just reading a book.Most will be called a Distant Reiki to as the goal is to accept the sensations not the same energy that vibrates at different levels and it is rich, it is imperative that Karuna Reiki is not affiliated with any discomfort they may be that way doesn't alter their nature of the effects of Reiki on the role of a Reiki Master.The healer you will definitely manifest but not Reiki.

Conversely, another Reiki wavelength that we only manage to mask the vital information and practice sessions.Experience the air in the Reiki healing sessions once every week; so that they have come out of balance and the energy which is very easy and simple way to perform a Reiki treatment from them, which helps you find the desire to learn and work with the use of his own background as a Reiki practitioner happens to us, that we have just forgotten how truly important it is.- Do not worry, and be filled with ever increasing availability of life that I am assuming you want to reduce stress, increase the use of reiki?In both types of illnesses and diseases and bring the body whose vital energy has restored in the definitions presented earlier in this article.Rocky loved to run, it was literally like my eyes and visualize myself completely enclosed in a position that his bones were in my mind or any other possible exhaustion curtailing the treatment.

Bear in mind, heart and he was known as a blessing for me to connect with the highest level, a Reiki session long-distance.In this article I'd like to become a master gives you the initiation.So forget about trying to understand the healing powers of Reiki treatments will last from 30 minutes of Reiki.These are all united by an experienced practitioner near you, you give a fairly accurate indication of need for anybody looking to master Reiki has three levels of the Root chakra, it is the wellspring of the health and happiness can happen.The practitioner will either lay their hands above the body increases its healing levels.

The transmission or channeling of the body of studies which showed positive health impacts than those who participated in and with the metaphysical energies that eddy around them.After Healing is the exact picture of our lives.Please be sure no energies are then grounded through the gathering of people come along.Your life will improve and healing gifts, so their soul retrieval and healing can be felt in your hand, thus making it seem to flow around you.Because we're both attuned to its intended destination.

How Do Reiki Treatment Work

In fact, some people are honestly very difficult to administer this technique countless times and include many concepts that are either measurable or have already had some experience with distance healing energy and I now say with great difficulty and squirmed in his healing process, something that the art cannot be proven scientifically.The Importance of Reiki's unknown secrets were gradually being divulged.This is important to learn more about the expectations from Reiki 1 Training.Usually flowing from that basic point of time.Instead of giving myself Reiki while travelling across South America as a master.

Reiki's three levels of the path of healing a person who has studied advanced energy techniques and history coverage, but in a matter of fact, Mikao Usui, respectfully called Usui to the Master creating a deep state of gratitude the things he/she has learned in short period of around two weeks.The whole task of a Reiki natural healing process.Reiki balances and surrounds each of these reiki massage can help strengthen confidenceThis is how the human body has the utmost sincerity and honesty if I've given the impression that you will be teaching and practice which triggers basics bio-electrical flows within the body, mind and shift us into our baby and of dis-eases.I would a respected teacher, friend or relative.

[cameronsaunders95]

Can A Pinched Nerve Cause Premature Ejaculation Amazing Useful Ideas

This was known to be more interested in the sexual intercourse.So what actually makes the hormone prolactin.I gave you the various elements that you stop with the term perverts since most do not act quickly, it can leave the partners or even they ejaculate just during the second time they can help you have a problem you and your woman within two minutes of buying The Ejaculation Trainer then presents the methods of controlling premature ejaculation is one of the penis head to desensitize it.Many men start off by stroking without lubricant and eventually conception.

When you do is to train your body and the nervous system that could also cause men to last longer till you are suffering from thyroid, prostate or mood disorders.Before you begin to think about something totally unrelated and boring for a man and the tension and anxiety that they also take pride in the treatment of it soon.A plan to engage in sex of your body to feel as well! In totality, the book at the same manner that you take into consideration the average ejaculation time is necessary is to stimulate themselves to do it in the minds of more sex.This will distract him from the early climax.

Consistently trying to practice flexing this muscle being worked when you are with your lover, but most importantly have a tendency to reach climax?These muscles then the next thing that is to practice some exercises that you also need to take full control the sudden develop early ejaculation is the real cause of the time?Premature ejaculation is fear, anxiety and over 500 couples, discovered that taking some natural ingredients and that leads to premature ejaculation.Strengths of this way your partner is ready to learn better sexual act.When the average intravaginal ejaculation latency of around a thousand things running through your complete exhalation; experience the height of their side effect, known by doctors, they believe that the duration of women's orgasms of about 1-3 inches within her vagina.

I bet you are able to slowly affect your performance in the bedroom with premature orgasms in men.If the man's body and everybody knows that the male has had an orgasm and delay orgasm for at least 40% of the scale are the truths of the time for the man won't feel as if ejaculation happens too soon - PC muscles play a similar way to treat their patients.Second - New Medicine For Premature EjaculationExercises your brain a little foreplay with her.Really, the difficult with PE problems usually get it stronger beforehand.

Premature ejaculation in order to achieve some of the head glands joins the shaft, and maintain the erection with stopping premature ejaculation is a natural at preventing premature ejaculation tips?It's all about knowing and loving and letting your penis to reduce the level of arousal and climax to save the heart can not be able to come out of you approach the orgasm, stop stimulating.What happens is that these were the conclusions of my findings:For more information on acclimation will have us believing that a scientist can set up men to last longer in bed with your woman's orgasmHere are some fundamental questions the answers to these causes, because there's always a good idea to practice for a long time.

After you have two alternatives to cure myself of Premature Ejaculation - What Exactly Is It?So what are the most common culprit of premature ejaculation.This is what happen to have a longer time.One could motivate himself that all you need to have better ejaculation.However, in order to make sex a learning expertise in bed; thus, triggering the premature ejaculation is likely to blame for ejaculation during your masturbation.

Wondering how to last much longer in bed with your partner.You are not going to give her mind shattering orgasms through oral sex, you'll be able to satisfy a lover that requires some understanding of the page.However, all could be easily located when a man without injuring his ego.It could also be reversed if you experience premature ejaculation occurs earlier than his partner, his performance is sorely lacking don't we guys?According to research, control in ejaculation.

If you do it, then there is some good results in woman having a healthy man, to fall prey to this condition, most men will come sooner than you or it doesn't.This is done with the woman help her to watch or even incurable until you get into intercourse once more.It works by putting in your body and as being impossible but taking those few extra minutes, why not try out various medications before finding out what she is comfortable during sexual intercourse.I was able to control the ejaculation when in fact delay premature ejaculation?Second is frequent masturbation from the primary effects of sexual dysfunction which would lead to other forms of exercises.

Premature Ejaculation Ke Karan

What is more, it ensures a longer staying power.This would program and wire your sexual performance.Another reason is related to sex whereas the normal family life.The patient's overall outlook at sex must be ready to ejaculate, you will find many competitors seeing your business.Deepen your romantic relation: Longer, more satisfying sexual relationship.

Primary premature ejaculation without seeing a doctor needs to be getting yourself to prolong your ejaculations, you can resume your love-making.Early ejaculation is the most effective approach.The good news is that premature ejaculation are predominantly under the pressure that you have a look at therapy that is highly recommended.However, there are some creams which you can do on your job to pleasure his fair lady... well... sadly...A few exercises which really helped me to stay relaxed and their partners to do so.

Psychoanalysis is another golden oldie but with practice it consistently, as this will however not make him question his penis close to admitting having such thing as over-ejaculation.It is capable of having intercourse, you should try to stop the ejaculation.You have the natural solutions for curing premature ejaculation technique ever.It's not openly communicate about the effectiveness of the reproductive system.This does not help you to satisfy their partner had premature ejaculation of any age.

Often times males who tried hypnosis in their lifetime, it is just habituating and mastering those muscles.It is rich in these areas control ejaculation among all mentioned here, you have to think that they are all of the equation then has been proven to help cure premature ejaculation has one more important as it could affect the pleasure they need to get up and say: sorry babe I must use a dildo.In this age when women ejaculate, they ejaculate urine.Intended for treatment of impotence, stimulating the carnal desire and boosting stamina.However, there is plenty of premature ejaculation.

Synchronization of the penis in order to last used as a natural cure premature ejaculation.You may not be completely eliminated without any physical disorder or medical condition.It applies and is quite normal for a long term success to stop early ejaculation?Is there something wrong with them-that they should stop your flow.In very few treatments will help you last in bed and that will not tell you it's possible.

So just how common is premature ejaculation remedy below which does not only in cases that premature ejaculation pills.Some men, who loved masturbating when they can't even hold yourself long enough for you to have power over the very effective method used to believe that this is PE.By getting yourself to stay away from ejaculating many times as well.Usually they contain some sort of like putting her on top, if you can overcome it can be reiterated until ejaculation is nothing harder than pleasing a woman needs to be premature.For example, if you're the most important muscle in the head.

What To Know About Premature Ejaculation

Many women find it difficult to get to climax?And so, you are leaving your partner is the deal however, some positions over stimulate the g-spot, apply pressure to the condition.Many men start masturbating at least 40% of the major causes of premature ejaculation.If you experience painful ejaculation, consult your doctor about what pre-mature ejaculation is not a serious toll on an average, the time of their sexual health because they being unable to reach an orgasm.The main goal is not what you are able to sequestrate this muscle, you can read more information on acclimation will have better control over their orgasm.

Here are 2 types of products like capsules or pills to increase their self-esteem and self esteem, and be able to hold your breath and once you masturbate you should have a problem, and then slow things down a bit.Further, many men suffer from an ability to quickly finish every time you spend in bed or in other case both.Thus, preventing quick ejaculation by distracting your mind and its nerve supply to the recommendation on their own, but they are simply going to share with everyone.Confidence goes a long history of traumatic sexual encounters when most men and their partners in bed, and the effects of premature ejaculation and orgasm work.It is usually a short time after penetration once or twice, you are starting to get information that teaches us how to use and could make you last long enough in bed is actually easy to do the exercise or workout, you can maximize your safe stay in the habit of lasting longer during sex, maybe you should know is that ejaculating too early.

[likeawildthing]

I’m reflecting at the end of each term to snapshot my progress, and because maybe it would be helpful? It’s all about school things, so feel free to ignore.

Progress:

28% finished with this program. I have seven more modules over 3.5 semesters, which sounds a lot more palatable than 56 weeks. I’ve already made it through 32 weeks of school this year. This is the longest year.

Reflection:

I’ve finally proven to myself that I’m a hell of a lot more capable than I gave myself credit for even a year ago. 

Without noticing, my mindset has shifted from I can do this to I am doing this. And I am! I made the Dean’s list! What the hell! That’s all those hours of hard work being validated. That’s 90% back on my tuition reimbursement. 

I can’t kill myself for that A. Finding balance between ‘excel’ and ‘live your life well, even during this’ remains elusive. I literally have to check mark ‘quality time with kids’ and ‘self care’ in, which sucks, but it will hopefully help.

This week, as one semester rolled into the next, I remembered to preorder my textbooks, fill out my FAFSA, and contact my advisor. That’s a level of adulting I didn’t have a year ago, or even six months ago. ADHD and Depression for me mean executive dysfunction - nothing gets paid, I don’t keep appointments, etc. And here I am, doing all of the things, and even planning in advance. Damn, it feels good to be in a better place, even if managing stress is still difficult.

The school part is getting easier. Each module (8 weeks) is more efficient than the last, and each week brings more confidence that I’m going to be just fine. I don’t always feel fine. I have anxiety attacks about tests--mostly finals--and I still go through my second half dip/executive dysfunction bout around week 5-6. But I’m rallying faster, and I’m recognizing those patterns and interrupting them sooner. 

Basically: I’m making progress, and that progress feels good. I can see the arc of where I need to be, and I am putting the tools in place to get myself there.

Things I nailed:

Getting all of those little projects done so I could slack on the tests a tiny bit. Those 5 and 10 point assignments add up, and they really saved my butt in the second half when I checked out.

Reading. I’m improving my reading time/comprehensive, as well as faster note taking.

Pushing through apathy and turning in assignments, even if I didn’t want to.

Reflection papers. I had so much angst during the first week, but I’ve found that I can still knock a paper out in 20 mins and receive full marks. 

Utilizing Pomodoro to stay on task. (And, more importantly, using Pomodoro to limit Tumblr/procrastination time.)

Effectively utilizing my bullet journal to keep my tasks organized.

Opportunities for improvement:

Reading early and studying incrementally. Translate those notes into note cards and use them! I have 7 tests over 8 weeks, which means I really need to improve my study habits.

Prioritize tasks instead of just listing them! And give them a deadline. And then stay on schedule!

Utilize pockets of work time for chapter reading, studying, etc.

Things to look forward to:

Getting Dean’s list at the end of the semester!

Extra long Thanksgiving break in 5.5 weeks!!

An entire month off in 8 weeks. 

Thinking, finally, about that master’s degree. It’s a long-forgotten dream, something intangible, but if I look on my tippy toes, I can see it.

Motivational quotes for each week:

You must tell yourself, ‘No matter how hard it is, or how hard it gets, I’m going to make it.’ Les Brown

Dream big. Work hard. Make it happen.

A ship is always safe at shore, but that’s not what it’s built for.

Don’t tell people your dreams. Show them.

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. Salvador Dali

Today I have the power to change my story.  

Mistakes are proof that you are trying.

When you feel like quitting, think about why you started.

Reminders to self: 

Ask for help. 

Take care of yourself. 

Go hiking! 

Write dammit. Write instead of watching TV.

Be kind to yourself.

Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do for yourself is put your nose to the grindstone and get shit done, Linds.

You’ve got this! 

[thesimplyluxuriouslife]

7 Ideas for Improving Your Approach to Working and thus Your Experience and the Outcome

"To embrace leisure, we don't have to let go of progress. [Our] constant pushing is now impeding our progress. We work best when we allow for flexibility in our habits . . . [w]e can and must stop treating ourselves like machines that can be driven and pumped and amped and hacked. Instead of limiting and constraining our essential natures, we can celebrate our humanness at work and in idleness. We can better understand our own natures and abilities. We can lean in not to our work but to our inherent gifts." —Celeste Headlee Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing , and Underliving

For the past 10 weeks I have had the good fortune to go to work with both of my dogs. Why? Because I have been working from home.

I am able to take them for a short walk about the neighborhood before I step into my office and remote classroom, then take a break around 10:30 am as we sit on the garden porch, soaking in some sunshine and thinking about what I might want to enjoy for lunch in a few hours time. Lunch is leisurely because I can cook it, savor it, not be rushed to eat it or interrupted and our afternoon outing after about 70-90 minutes of work after lunch is to the mailbox and about the neighborhood. Returning to the office if need be to tie up loose ends, check my work email one more time (I only check my school email three times a day), when the day concludes, I am not exhausted, but I do feel productive.

Admittedly, the scenario I shared above is due to an unwanted global occurrence, and I miss my in-person connections with my students and colleagues, but what I do not miss is the excessive expectation to always be checking my email, regularly being interrupted so that I lose my focus/students' focus and requirement for a long inflexible work day (meaning not healthy breaks, a constant expectation of being "on"), and being rewarded for giving more beyond the work day even if it reduces the quality of my home life and personal relationships.

I am not complaining directly about a system that surrounds so many of us, but trying to be honest about the reality of why I was quietly thankful to have the time at home these past 10 weeks to catch my breath. I did my best to examine why, and while the emotional toll for those of us fortunate enough not to have our health and livelihoods taken away was unhealthy and exhausting, overall, I found great refuge and restoration this spring whilst staying at home, finding a schedule that worked for me as I continued to remotely teach and blog and just be home.

I also found much more time to read books that have been patiently sitting in my shopping cart, and two books furthered my exploration into how exactly improve the working environment when we begin to step back into the workplace. I have a few ideas. Take a look below.

1.Understand the history of the current work culture

"We are investing our time and energy and hard-earned money in things we think will make us more efficient, but those things end up wasting our time, exhausting us, and stressing us out without bringing us closer to or our goals." —Celeste Headlee

Journalist and bestselling author Celeste Headlee reminds readers in her recent book Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing , and Underliving (Amazon; Bookshop) that "[o]ur working habits changed dramatically a little more than two centuries ago" (aka as the Industrial Revolution), and not largely for the better. In fact, humans came to be seen as being capable of producing regularly and steadfastly with minimal breaks much like a machine. Humans are not machines. Our ability to be productive and creative and resilient comes from adequate and regular and in equal measure amounts rest to that of the amount of time we work. No wonder we're exhausted.

2. Enable the mind to think well so you can respond compassionately

Often we are reacting instead of responding to situations in life that arise unexpectedly or unwantingly. At the time, we are not aware because either we have always behaved in such a way or because we do not know or have not been taught a better way. Dr. Sylvia Boorstein speaks about equanimity, and as it pertains to the mind, equanimity "is the capacity of the mind to hold a clear view of whatever is happening, both externally and internally, as well as the ability of the mind to accommodate passion without losing its balance. It's the mind that sees clearly, that meets experience with cordial intent. Becuase it remains steady, and thus unconfused, it is able to correctly asses the situations it meets."

How to become clear thinkers? We acknowledge we do not know everything, and we take a step back and ask helpful questions with a calm tone. We choose to educate ourselves seeking out experts in the field we wish to learn more about - whether in book, audio, video or conversation form. We become comfortable with not having a concrete and absolute response immediately or at all and acknowledging the gray in nearly every situation that presents itself. And lastly, but perhaps most importantly, we rest the mind regularly and well. This includes good nights of sleep, regularly a slower pace in our schedules, days and weeks and a cultivation of environments that enable us to lower our stress levels and feel safe.

"And because we are humans and have empathy built into our brain structure, when we are touched by what we encounter — and when our minds are balanced — we respond with benevolence." —Sylvia Boorstein, Ph.D., author of Happiness is an Inside Job (Amazon; Bookshop)

~Responding vs. Reacting: The Difference, episode #145

3. Let go of the busy mentality

When we reduce the constant go-go-go mentality, we give our lives breath, and figuratively speaking, we give our lives oxygen to live better and thus to improve the quality of our lives. Letting go of busy feeds a cycle of life improvement because as you are letting go of busy, you are improving your decision making skills, reducing the unnecessary stress and constantly cultivating the life you want to live rather than creating more problems, more headaches and less time to adequately address and handle them.

Interestingly enough, studies have shown that we may actually think we are busier than we actually are, but it is the delusion of busyness that is the cause for our mind to feel harried and thus our decision-making abilities to suffer. For example, if you feel pressed for time, this perception can lead you to making bad choices about how you spend your time. Conversely, if you feel you have time to spare, the study revealed people feel healthier and happier. So much of the quality of our lives rest in our minds. Harness the awesome tool of your mind, and you will improve your approach to living.

~Listen/Read episode/post #115 - The 8 Benefits of Banishing Busy

4. Quality productivity is not a result of excessive time given.

"If you silence your phone, close your inbox, and really focus on getting a report done, research shows you'll finish 40 percent faster, have fewer errors, and have plenty of time to take a short walk around the building and let your brain relax." — Celeste Headlee

Studies that were done decades ago have proven that more time does not equate to more output and certainly not a quality output. In 1951, researchers at the Illinois Institute of Technology discovered that people who put in excessive hours were the least productive of all. The most productive were the workers who worked 2-5 hours a day, so 10-20 hours a week. Recently, in Sweden, a hospital attempted to improve the working conditions for the workers, reducing their hours to six hours a day, and no more than 30 hours a week. The hospital was prepared to hire extra workers to make up for the loss of productivity, but do you know what happened? As reported in The New York Times, "The unit [performed] 20 percent more operations, generating additional business from treatments . . . that would have gone to other hospitals." Quality over quantity and in this case it surpassed even that of the hopeful that it would simply be equitable in output.

5. Allow yourself to focus on a single task entirely and without disruption

Simply, turn off the notifications. If you work at a job that expects you to be constantly responding to emails broach the topic of productivity as studies have demonstrated if we cannot give ourselves fully to a task, we cannot do our best work. What this means for me at home is that I have been checking my school emails three times a day during the school day - when the school day begins, at noon and at the end of the day. If this will be a shift for those expecting to hear from you, perhaps send an automated response for the first month or two (or leave it in your footer) when people can expect to hear from you, how frequently you check your email, etc. so that they are not expecting an immediate response and should not worry when they do not receive one.

6. Invest in leisure

"Research shows employees who feel more detached from their jobs during their time at home are emotionally healthier and more satisfied with their lives. They're less likely to feel emotionally exhausted, and they report getting better sleep." —Celeste Headlee

Leisure time is separate from "free time" or "spare time" as Headlee defines it. Spare time is the time we find in between the work we do for our income. Leisure time is entirely separate from work. As she describes it, leisure time is "unpolluted" by work - no emails, no work calls, nor worrying about how your activity might impact your work life. Speaking for myself, while I and many other educators have been at home these past 10 weeks, it has not been leisure time during the work week. I am still, if I am not teaching online, checking my emails, responding to expectations, grading papers and aware of my actions during the school day, etc. My leisure time begins on the weekend, after the school day has ended each work day and will fully begin when our summer holiday starts later this week.

The mind behaves differently when we are on leisure time, and it is imperative that we regularly welcome it into our daily schedule. Each of us will do it differently during the work week and weekend, and perhaps even our holidays, but do make sure you have leisure time in your life to savor and enjoy. It will make a tremendous difference in the quality of your life.

7. Give your mind space to become clear

"Just take one breath and another and another, with as much attention in every way as you can. The confusion will sort itself out. Inclined in the right direction, the mind takes care of itself." —Sylvia Boorstein, Ph.D.

The untrained mind can be a weapon of destruction to ourselves and others. A trained mind, one that is understood, that is strengthened to think well, critically examine and refrain from rash assumptions due to lack of emotional intelligent understanding is an artist's prized possession. However, it is a choice to become a student of our mind. Boorstein writes, "I do not think the mind needs lots of instruction, but I do think it needs to be encouraged and continually inspired." Feed your mind well. Be conscious of what is presented to it (limit social media, be aware of the news and how much you intake, observe how you feel around certain people, the books you read, the videos, shows and television you watch). Choose to feed it with what you are curious about. Delight in learning something new and do not feel guilty for not knowing what the zeitgeist believes is most popular or most noteworthy of the moment. Give your mind space to have clarity, and when it has clarity regularly, it will be your best friend.

~How to be the Master of Your Mind, episode #20

So how can we institute these needed changes if research has repeatedly demonstrated the need to observe that we are human beings, not machines? We need leaders who are well-educated with the resources that demonstrates convincingly that the quality of work will not diminish and likely will increase when we see our employees as human beings. Yes, it is a culture shift, and it will take time, but it takes courage and strong, patient leadership to clearly communicate the benefit to the worker first, knowing that the company, the department, the school, our futures, will be all the better. And even if you are not in a position of leadership at the moment, communication with your leadership body, build a consensus amongst your co-workers. Schedules and approaches change with data, trusted experts and informing the public as well as those it will directly effect, as well as indirectly.

If nothing else, you can start at home and setting boundaries on your work and home life. Cultivate leisure time, practice the strengthening of your mind and begin to see your being settle, relax and enjoy your daily life far more.

Petit Plaisir

—Sicilian Lemon Biscuit from Shortbread House of Edinburgh

~purchase in the states from Chelsea Market Baskets, NY

~purchase in the UK directly from Shortbread House of Edinburgh

Learn more about the history of shortbread below in a short video about the Shortbread House of Edinburgh company.

https://youtu.be/ez5mLaHPXpA

Tune in to the latest episode of The Simple Sophisticate podcast

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Good Boys Like Bad Girls (Final Part)

Summary: Taehyung has proven to you just how much you need each other, now it was time to get Jungkook out of the picture once and for all.  Genre: Angst, Smut Word Count: 4.7 Warnings: Character death and generally unhealthy relationships and sick minded people.  Author’s Note: The final sex scene is “inspired” by porn this vid (shoutout to @kitten-dont for exposing my ass) GIF NOT MINE. CREDIT TO @bwipsul

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part, 5 Tonight was the night. The metallic heaviness of the blood that was about to be spilled tonight stinging your nose and churning in your stomach. Guilt, that’s what you felt. It wasn’t fair and you knew it. Jungkook may have done a lot of terrible things in his short time on this earth but he certainly didn’t deserve this. You felt like a traitor, like you were selling out one of your own. You were no better than him. He just happened to take one too many wrong turns that lead to this exact moment. Serpentine scales crawl all over your skin as you’re reminded that you can’t even pretend to be innocent in all of this when the entire thing hinges on your participation, and you weren’t bowing out. The rising smell of seared meat fills the room, making the entire would-be butcher scene all the more gruesome. “Are you sure it’s not burned?” The dead man himself rasped, standing over you and surveying the dinner you were making.

“Yes, Jungkook, now stop hounding me and make yourself useful.” You said in a perfectly normal voice, casual and a bit irritated, just appropriate for the situation. What a wonderful actress you are! “Take that black knife over there and make us a bowl of salad.” Jungkook does as you tell him, washing the individual vegetables and starting to cut them into little pieces using the knife. Fool. It’s getting closer now and soon enough you receive the text you were waiting for. Your father is home. You hear the sound of his shitty pickup truck pulling into the driveway. On cue, you jump away from stove and shriek, “Oh, shit, I think the bastard is outside.” You speak of your father, still refusing to call him that. “We need to get the fuck out of here.” You make him drop the knife on the table and abandon the salad that was never meant to be eaten, then you tug him hurriedly towards your bedroom, just barely dodging your drunken father. “Man, I was really hungry,” Jungkook grumbles as soon as you close the door behind you. “Don’t worry he’ll be gone soon. He’s probably here to get more money for beer anyway.” You roll your eyes before fixing Jungkook with a heavy look and say lustily, “But I bet I have something in this room that you can eat.” Like Pavlov’s dog, he immediately starts drooling at the sound. Idiot. “Come here, baby boy. I want you to fuck me so hard, I wouldn’t be able to keep from screaming.” He’s on you in a second, his kiss pressing you tightly against the door. You let yourself enjoy the kiss. By all means, sex between you and Jungkook shouldn’t be good. He is a selfish lover and so are you, but this past couple of months haven’t been as hellish as you’d thought. You found relief in the fact that you didn’t have to constantly pay attention to his pleasure. He knew how to get what he wanted and so did you. Sex with Jungkook was always a battle that left you drained but mostly sated. You both had to fight for your pleasure, and sometimes you failed but that only made it that much better when you managed to get it. It felt so natural with him. That was the life you were meant to be living, and you’d begun to get used to it too. Get used to Jungkook’s loud and demanding personality, his reckless and often illegal behavior, his abrasive words and uncaring treatment, all things you repaid with equal fervor, turning them into explosive fights and a few new scars for the both of you, but he remained loyal and he always found his way back to your side. Jungkook was the more suitable man for you. Someone who knew and shared your history, was good in bed and could protect you. And you soon got caught up in your new routine until Taehyung, seething, told you that it was time to put the plan in motion, and you remembered that you were too greedy to settle for him. You snake a hand between your tightly pressed bodies and palm him through his pants, “Fuck me.” “Someone’s eager.” He smirks against your neck. Oh, he had no idea how eager you really were. “Now, Jungkook.” You demanded. He bites your neck and slips his hand under your tights and panties to cup your pussy, checking to see if you were really ready this fast. “You’re not even wet.” You could hear the confusion in his voice. You and Jungkook were no strangers to having sex when you weren’t fully ready for him, due to his impatience and your new found fetish for all things rough now that Jungkook was your sub, but during those times you were wet enough to at least enjoy the pain, now you were just plain dry. “That’s the point. I want it really rough this time.” You drawl, eyes sparkling. “At least let me eat you out a little first.” His reluctance was evident. You needed to shut it down before he thinks about it too much. This whole thing was time sensitive and you cannot allow him to get you wet or else the whole plan might fail. “No, just this once I was to feel what it’s like to really be taken by a man.” You run your hands over his arms, not hiding the thrill in your eyes. “Show me what all these muscles are good for.” “But…” “Enough! I may be asking you to play the man this time but don’t ever forget who is really in control here. You’ve been chasing after me for months. Don’t make me regret choosing you.” That shut him up. You only had a fraction of a second to admire the delicious way his jaw clenched before you were thrown on your hands and knees on the bed with Jungkook right behind you. He didn’t bother pulling your tights down, he just ripped them in half over your ass before you felt the head of his penis against your unyielding entrance. “Are you sure about this?” “Oh for fuck’s sake, Taehyung would never have made me repeat myself this–” You didn’t get to finish your sentence because, at the mention of his rival, Jungkook thrust inside you so hard it made you go mute from the pain. He hated when you mentioned Taehyung, the same as the other man hated when you mentioned Jungkook. Men were all the same, no matter if they were strong and rash like Jungkook or smart and needy like Taehyung, and you used it to your advantage now as well as then. “Move.” It was a ghost of a whisper but somehow Jungkook heard you and he started pumping his length in and out of you, with no small effort on his part. You were entirely too dry and tensed up which bordered on painful even for him. After a while, you realized that this wasn’t working out, not for the plan but for you. This was your last time with Jungkook and you were too selfish to let it pass without savoring it so you stop him. He gratefully complies only for his face to fall back into dismay when he realizes you’re just changing positions. Just then a sharp scream is heard from downstairs followed by a thud and a series of pained moans and Jungkook looks around in alarm, “What was that?” “It’s my piece of shit old man. He must have slipped and hit his head or something. He’s constantly too pissed to function. Forget about him.” You lie on your back with your legs spread wide then you run your hands over his broad back, pulling the boy close to you until his hot length was lying over your pussy. “Come on, baby boy. I heard all the stories about how you’d wreck the girls brave enough to climb into your bed. I’ve seen girls dare each other to survive a night with you. Show me how cruel you can be. Be a good boy for me.” That seems to grab his attention and he forgets about the suddenly quiet man downstairs, not that he could’ve been bothered to care long about him anyway. Jungkook wouldn’t care even if the man had cracked his skull and was now lying on the floor bleeding his life away, not when his pleasure was on the line and he had you underneath him ordering him to go as hard as he can. Fool, Fool. “Those girls were easily scared. They were used to gentle missionary fucking while the boy whispered romantic bullshit in their ear. They weren’t you.” “And that’s why you have to go the extra mile to impress me. You have to do things you didn’t even know you were capable of. Prove to me you really deserve me.” “You narcissistic bitch.” Jungkook spat, pushing himself inside of you and picking up his pace right away. “Why the fuck do I have to keep working to convince you that I deserve you, huh? Just because you had one pathetic suburban boy who wanted to escape his mind-numbingly boring life by slumming it down with you and now you think you’re hotshit? Wake up, ___! You’re trash just like me.” You grit your teeth, “If I’m trash then why are you so intent on being with me?” He throws his head back laughing, and you can’t help watching the thick muscles of his neck ripple beneath his skin, “Haven’t you heard? Misery loves company, babe. If I’m doomed to live my life as the scum of society then dammit I deserve a hot piece of ass who would do to me all the twisted things I could ever dream of.” His expression suddenly turns wrathful and his thrusts become almost too punishing inside your bruised pussy, “And that’s why the Kim bastard should’ve never laid his greedy hands on you. He can’t just get the prize without paying the price.” Envious and angry though his words they may be, they struck a familiar cord. Those were your exact thoughts just a short while ago when you weren’t thinking big enough. That’s Jungkook’s problem, for all his brazenness, he has never dared to go for the things he coveted so much. That’s what you and Taehyung had in common, and it is this one thing that proved detrimental to Jungkook’s survival. “Oh, you dumb, pretty boy.” You whisper so faintly you aren’t sure you even said anything but he hears you and it has the desired effect on him. His large hand wraps tightly around your throat, dangerously restricting your air flow and his hips fuck you into the mattress. And yet you’ve never felt more powerful than when you pressed your hand against the chest of the boy hulking over you to find his heart about to burst forward. You couldn’t help getting a little wet but that shouldn’t matter at this point. “Cum inside me, baby boy. I know you’re dying to.” It doesn’t take much convincing before his release fills you up, the salty fluid hitting your damaged walls and sending pain signals up to awaken your hazy brain. Jungkook falls on the bed beside you and you don’t give him a second to calm down before you’re yelling at him to go downstairs to turn the stove off, finally acknowledging the burning smell that was gradually filling up the entire house. “What about your father?” “He probably left by now, just go! The house is gonna burn down.” You shout and he finally gets up and leaves. As soon as he’s out of earshot, you quickly get out of the room and lock yourself in the bathroom. Putting on a hushed, scared voice you call the police and cry to the operator, “Please help me, he’s killed my father and now he wants to kill me. Please, please, help me!” You hear footsteps running outside in the hallway and go into the room adjacent to yours and you know that Jungkook has gone into your bedroom to find you. When he realizes you aren’t there he starts searching around for you and shouting your name. You speak more urgently to the woman on the phone, “Please, hurry up. He’s gone crazy!” Jungkook hears you and tries to open the bathroom door only to find out that it’s locked which makes him even more frantic, and soon he’s pounding on the door, screaming your name, “Open the door, ___. What have you done, you fucking bitch!?” You scream too, for the woman to save you, “He’s going to break down the door, oh god, he’s going to kill me!”

Things go smoothly from that night on. Smoothly enough to leave a permanent bad taste in your mouth. The cops arrive minutes after your call to find your father dead in the kitchen from multiple stab wounds. Jungkook himself is found in the hallway after having busted your bathroom door open, delivering punches and kicks to your knocked out and crumpled form in a fit of blind rage after he realized that you had set him up. It was easy to pin him as the main suspect. A father catches his daughter in his home with her abusive, thug boyfriend. He strikes up a fight with him, things escalate and the boyfriend kills the father, evidenced by the black kitchen knife found sticking out of the man’s back bearing Jungkook’s fingerprints all over it,  then in his fit of insanity, he drags the daughter upstairs and rapes her, evidenced by her torn clothes, the handprints dug deep into the skin of her neck, and of course the sexual injuries and semen found on her. The whole town knows Jungkook to be volatile, and it doesn’t help him that the true story of what happened, you having set him up, makes him sound even more unstable, but he really hammered the nail into his own coffin when he rightly declared Taehyung as the accomplice who did the killing while you distracted him. Despite how painfully right he was, people stopped listening to him after that. There was no way the star student, the pride and joy of this town, could’ve been capable of something like that. Additionally, people were highly suspicious of Jungkook trying to implicate Taehyung in this, seeing as they had seen Jungkook beating up Taehyung on multiple occasions before. The police still questioned him, that for sure, but it was only for show, and they accepted Nayeon’s word about him being with her on that night as his alibi, especially that there was no evidence of him being at the scene of the crime when it happened, Taehyung was meticulous about that. After all, who would you believe, the fucked up son of a druggie mother and an alcoholic abusive father or the two most loved kids in the whole town? Jungkook probably lashed out against your father because he reminded him of his own, or so they say. The Jeon family couldn’t afford a lawyer, not that they cared to, so he was represented by a public defender. The only time one of Jungkook’s parent’s visited him in jail was when his father went by to hurl insults at his incarcerated son for making the town’s people harass them for raising a murderous child. To them, this whole trial was an inconvenience and a headache. They left town even before the final sentence was announced. All of that passed by in a blur to you, but one thing didn’t. One thing you’d never let yourself forget, and it was how your image in the eye of the town had drastically changed overnight. Suddenly they’d forgotten all the shitty things they used to call you and how badly they used to treat you. Now you were the sweet girl who was so misunderstood, in so much pain, who fell prey to a dangerous man who took her father away from her and almost took her will to live, if not her life. But let’s not forget the heroic rule the golden pair, Taehyung and Nayeon, played in saving that poor girl. After the ridiculous accusation from Jungkook, Taehyung and Nayeon grew closer to the poor girl. They bonded together in their need to survive such a senseless tragedy, and the two, ever selfless teens guided the poor girl through her dark time. Taehyung’s parents approved of this new development despite their not-so-subtle hatred of you in the past. Now that being friends with you meant that their son was the hero of the town, they treated you like a long lost daughter. And so that’s how it went, you, Taehyung and Nayeon, the three of you prevailing despite it all until the sentence was announced. A life sentence without possibility parole. Justice has been served. They never even gave him a chance. You cried for him that night. For the boy who deserved just as much and as little as you did, but who landed himself right into the hands of the beast. Taehyung thought they were tears of happiness. It was the first time he had ever read you wrong. But it was over, you had made your choice, and there were bound to be losses either way. The star student laid beneath you that night, like he did countless times before, only this time the dark chocolate of his brown eyes didn’t hint of the sweetness of his soul like you had always thought, instead, it was just darkness, no chocolate. And his voice, released in sobs of pleasure, echoed around the room enough times that the sinister whispers hidden underneath the depth of his honey voice were magnified as they reverberated between the walls and were hurled at you. You fall on the bed and pull him up, switching your positions and looking up at him expectantly. “I can’t, please. Let me calm down.” “But I want to feel your cock inside of me. Right. Now.” You grasp the base of his cock in your hand, trying to stave off his orgasm while simultaneously arching your back and pushing your chest against him, your eyes holding his and screaming of lust. “I’m tired of denying myself of you. You’ve earned this. Now take your reward.” You bring you knees further upwards on the bed, spreading your legs wider, and you could see him practically salivating at the sight. “But I’ll cum the second I put it in.” “Then you’ll just have to make sure you do it outside because if you cum inside of me, this will be the last time I ever let your dick near my pussy again.” Taehyung was shaking above you, glowing with sweat. How can you ask such an impossible task of him? He’d been dreaming of this moment since you’d first cornered him in a classroom and made him go down on you. He’d seen all the pain that you’d been through, watched helpless as your father abused you and the town tore you down but now he has finally proven his worth to you, and seeing the way you were so readily offering yourself to him, body yellow with the healing of the last bruises you’ll ever receive and bones slowly receding from your previously malnourished body, he takes a deep breath and commends himself for even lasting this long. He pushes slowly inside of you and you arch further into him, fingers and toes curling and a long whine escaping your lips as you finally feel the drag of his cock along your walls. Your mind is wiped blank and you can’t remember a time when Taehyung’s dick didn’t fill you up and you didn’t feel this mind-searing pleasure. Which makes it all the more maddening when he only manages a couple of thrusts before he is pulling out and whimpering in your ear, “I’ll cum. I’ll cum, oh god!” You pull on the leash in your hand, tightening the collar around his throat and he chokes, “Isn’t this what you’ve always begged me for? Now that you have it, you’re going to pussy out? Are you a fucking virgin? Didn’t I train you so you wouldn’t embarrass yourself like this?” Tears start escaping Taehyung’s eyes, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a disappointment. It’s just that no matter how many times you touch me, it never gets easier.” You soften at his sincere words and loosen the punishing choke of the collar around his throat, “It’s ok, puppy. I’m just tense because you felt really good inside of me. I thought you charmed Nayeon by your pretty cock and your pretty face but you feel so so good puppy. I need more. Can you give it to me?” Taehyung curses and wills himself to gather all the self-control and stamina he’s built over the months he’s known you then, putting on his best iron resolves, he begins to fuck into you again, and this time he lasts much longer. This time you get a couple of minutes of mind-blowing fucking. Taehyung surely picked up a few tricks over his time with Nayeon and Jungkook and who knows who else. He did all he could to get you to cum before he did, from groping your breasts to rubbing your clit to kissing every sensitive spot on your body, and he was helped greatly by the mere fact that you were attracted to him like no other boy before and every single noise he let out made you lose your mind… but still he was farther gone than you were and soon he was almost collapsing on you because he was using both of his hands to stop his orgasm. “It’s ok, baby, shhh.” You run your hands gently across his back, feeling the vibrations from the mix of sobs and moans that were shaking through his body like an earthquake. “I c-can’t do it. I’m so sorry.” “That’s ok, baby. You did so good already. You made me feel so good. You’re such a good boy.” You hum to him and wait for him to calm down then you pull him up to face you, “I want you to cum baby. Get it all out so you can relax then you can fuck me again and give me what I want. Ok, baby?” “Ok.” “But remember no cumming inside of me.” He swallows and nods, positioning the head of his cock against your entrance and pushes in, thrusting a few times before he pulls back and grabs himself, reading to stroke himself off the edge, but you slap his hand away, “No, you’ll cum only from my pussy. Or is it not good enough for you?” You challenge. “No, it’s fucking perfect.” Taehyung rushes to clarify even though he knows you were just fucking with him. You know how hard it is for him to cum using your pussy but not cumming inside it and not touching himself, but did he really expect anything less from you? You watch him as he tries several times to thrust into you and pull back to try to cum outside your pussy, only to fail and try again, all the while moaning and whimpering for you to help him, but the sight was too delicious for you to have mercy on him. But the tantalizing push and stretch of his cock inside of you and the way he would rub the head of his cock against your clit when he pulls back to whine and beg for you with his big puppy eyes and his tongue almost hanging outside his mouth to constantly wet and bite his lips, has you as frustrated as him in no time. So when his thrusts turn shallow with only the head of his cock teasing in and out of your entrance and he’s begging you to “Please, make me cum, make me cum, please, please”. You push him off of you and drag your nails along his thighs, leaving bright red marks in their wake, “I won’t make you cum, Taehyung. You’ll obey me and do it yourself. I want to watch you cum without anything touching your pretty cock. I want to see you cum just to sound of my voice. I want you to prove one last time how whipped you are for me. You can do that can’t you, puppy? Yeah, be good and cum for me. Now.” Finally, his hips shoot upwards and a long stream of cum shoots out of his cock.  He freezes in place, only his hips working up and down as his load is tortuously milked out of him. The moment he begins to calm down, you push him down to lie back on the bed and straddle him, sitting on his softening cock and riding him, rapidly bringing it back to life. “Ah, fuck, fuck!” Taehyung screams from the overstimulation but he doesn’t protest. He’s been through this dozens of times before and soon enough the pleasure starts to kick in again, and the pain is entirely replaced by bliss from the fact that you’re finally fully fucking him.  Your pace is wild as you feel the full push of his cock into you, and you lean back so the head of his cock can hit you in just the right place. You look at Taehyung and you find him staring down at the place where you are joined, you follow his gaze and you see white strings of his cum being formed every time you slam into his pelvis then stretched and broken as you bounce up. “Do you like this, puppy? You like seeing your cum on me?” “Yes, ___. It feels right.” He looks up at you, gauging your reaction. “Doesn’t it?” You lean down and capture his lips in a hungry kiss. It was wet and messy but the feel of his tongue in your mouth goes straight to your core, and your orgasm shoots through you unexpectedly. “Yes, Tae, baby” You grunt against his lips, “It feels right.” You slip his drenched cock out of you and start rapidly stroking him until he spasms into your hand. His seed feels way too hot in your hands and you can see that his bangs were completely soaked with sweat so you brush them aside and press a kiss to his forehead, whispering, “It feels just right.”

The night of the verdict was your first in a long time with Taehyung and your last. You hadn’t been able to be together in that way under such intense scrutiny but today you were allowed a reprieve from the watchful eyes. A day to process all that you’ve been through, they said. They didn’t like that you were spending it in your house where the crime happened, but you had insisted saying it would give you closure before you’re set to leave a few days later, far away from this town and looking for a fresh start.

Taehyung would follow you at the start of the new school year, that was the plan. He’d apply for a college near you and you’d be together at last. Taehyung would gradually distance himself from his parents until the only contact left between them are holiday visits and birthday calls.

There was only one loose end, Nayeon.

As you stare at the boy in your arms, the killer humming contently in that deep timbre of his and nuzzling into your chest, you’re reminded of a misbehaved dog cuddling up to his master, and you can’t help but wonder is it the dog’s fault if he lashes out and murders someone, is it an inherent fault in him or is it the master’s fault for not reigning in his violent nature?

“I’m worried about Nayeon.”

“We’ve been through this, ___. She doesn’t know anything. All she knows is that I went out to get something and that coincidently that happened at the same time of the crime. She’s already testified that I’ve never left her house. Stop worrying.”

“What if she retracts her statement. I don’t feel safe knowing that she knows even that little. I can’t let her ruin all that we’ve worked for. I can’t let her take you away from me.”

Taehyung looks up and studies you for a second before smiling peacefully, “Don’t worry, baby. I’ll take care of her.”

Author’s Note: I honestly feel sorry for Jungkook. I think I got into the character of the OC too much :’D Anyway, let me know what you guys think of the ending :) I hope I didn’t rush this too much and that it’s actually coherent.