Cruel Summer
July was a Cruel Summer as it was last year, but this time, it hits different.
Around this time last year, I got on a train to come see someone who I couldn’t get my hands around. Someone who was always slipping off, but I was so eager to catch. The epitome of August and a reflection of my deteriorating mental health. I took all the chance and spent all my feelings, investing in nothingness, living through the hope of it all.
This year, I am content. I was faced with a past lover whom I thought I was never going to see again but someone who I was longing for the rest of my life. The summer winds brought him back because I was finally ready to face the hard truths and be okay with whatever comes out of it.
He was Someone, who probably could’ve saved me from the monstrosity of the emotional damages I would endure from chasing someone who did not care. Someone I would’ve married, if he only stayed. It’s bold to say that but I remembered that I loved him to that extent. He reminded me what True Love is. Someone who cared and selflessly would put you first but this time, I was not ready. I wasn’t as eager as I used to be, and I was afraid. Afraid, that this was just a summer thing. Afraid, that I am not sure of myself.
Just like the winds of summer, he had to go. They always do.
He drew stars around my scars as I continued to bleed but this time, I think I’ll be fine, as I hold on to trusting the universe, in hopes that what’s for me will be for me and that someday, He will Stay.
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writing a little mirror garashir one shot,,,, they're the worst. i love them
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i think a lot of life is just seeing the people you used to love move on without you
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are you a swifty, blorbie? do you understand all of the Lore?
i understand everything. karlie kloss is nico rosberg
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I've gotten to a weird point in my life the last couple of years where I'm afraid to tell people I love I love them even if they do say it first if they know how intense I am about people I love in case I make them feel bad that I love them.
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