#I WANT TO BE ABLE TO FUCKING WORK AND FINSIH WHAT I START

[niallsblckgirlfriend]

Like the only thing I’m good at is fanfiction (which I can’t focus enough to even do because idk my brain gets bored. And I just….I CANT FINISH ANYTHING BECAUSE IM FUCKING BROKEN!!)

and smoking weed 🫥

[eavangeek]

2021 Fic Year in Review

Total # of Completed Works: 24- Finished Undercover Lover and also started and Finished Rest for the Wretched. The rest were one shots from BobaDin prompts. I’ve also 

Total Word Count: 87,272, not including Undercover Lover b/c honestly I finished all the writing for it last year.

Fandoms I’ve Written In: BNHA- Just b/c of Undercover Lover. I’ve only recently changed back over to Star Wars, specifically Post-Empire/Mando era.

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected?: Since I was finsihing up UL, I had no idea how much I would end up doing. Considering I did 50+ one shots in 2019 and just 2 in 2020 (on top of UL). So being able to do 22 one shots and whole other multi-chapter is pretty good!

What’s Your Own Favorite Story: Two of them have good ideas that I want to kinda expand on. Tale of Two Kings and In Regards to Curses. TTK is a Royal AU that I’ve been trying to do but given TBOBF has been put on the back burner. RtC I’m actually taking the base concept and making it a more an OG story.

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year?: First time I’ve joined events! I’ve never done any in the past and this year I did two!! They were really relaxed and fun to do. I also did a Big Bang at the last minute.

Do You Have Any Fanfic Or Profic Goals For The New Year?: I’ve got my Smuggler’s Gambit with the OC/Self-Insert. I’m hoping to finish it and also be able to do the Royal AU as well. But!!! We’ll See (:

Most Popular Story Of The Year?: Not inluding Undercover Lover (which took two goddamn years), Rest for the Wretched. It was a multichapter so it’s not surprising.

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion: Maria’s Gift- A Witcher OC story. If you read, pls fucking read the tags. But given that I’ve been working on Lady (Witcher OC) on and off for a few years, I was glad that I was finally able to finish that story.

Most Fun Story To Write: Smalltown Mando, but only b/c I made Din into Orville Peck. It was a lot of fun to try and figure out which Peck song I was gonna use.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: Oof- There are parts of Rest for the Wretched that were def me pouring out insecurities and digging deep into Boba’s character but... Probably Interesting Company. It was good trying to figure out how Boba would react to Grogu’s gremlin self.

Biggest Disappointment: Even though I was putting out more for ‘21 than in ‘20, it did kind of suck that I did not put out more. That might not change for a while b/c of Personal Things (like job searching and a Whole Pandemic Going Into Year Three.

Biggest Surprise: When I switched fandoms to have ppl follow me over. And also to find ppl who liked my work after having done nothing but Reader-Inserts for the last two years and moving out of it.

many thanks, love, and hugs to @shortmage for the tag If you like, go for it, blanket permission to do The Meme

[popculturebuffet]

Darkwing Duck: Just Us Justice Ducks

This is it. 7 reviews, 10 episodes, 2 teams,  7 brave heroes, 13 villians but only 5 of which are relevant here. All leading to this. One big final review of one of the most loved, most important and most awesome Darkwing Duck episodes, the ONLY two parter outside of the pilot in the show’s long history. If your just joining us, as hinted at in the opening sentence i’ve been doing reviews of every episode of darkwing duck featuring the first apperances of the Justice Ducks and Fearsome Five. The only exception was Megavolt, but I ended up doing Negaduck instead, so I could cover both Megs and the original version of Negsy in one fell swoop (A great idea and comission from longtime supporter of the blog WeirdKev27). All so I could give this the build up  it deserved and get the background I didn’t have years ago when I wanted to watch this, wanted to see all of the first apperances first.. then just didn’t get around to it, not even finding out the episode order is an utter nightmare.  While i’ve given out about this before, allow me to do so again: Due to prioritzing what got done first over proper order, ALL of the justice ducks first appearances eps were aired after this and while Morgana at least got an episode before this, it was her second appearance. Same with LIquidator and Quackerjack though like Morgana, Quackerjack still got an episode or two before this one. So yeah as a result to most kids it was a bunch of heroes just introduced, up against two new villians and 3 old faviorites. You kinda see the problem. It’s why I watched it in chronlogical order: to have this be a gathering of established heroes against darking’s worst foes... and the debut of the worst of THE worst, the true Negaduck at long last. So with the proper build this deserves and not much else to say, let’s look at this two parter and see if all my effort was worth it and if the hype is real. Let’s, get, dangerous under the cut

We open in St. Canard in Darkwing Duck’s secret HQ over the bridge, where he’s getting ready to go out with Morgana and does... things to his hair. 

Excellently terrible hair do.. seriously I love a good pompadour as much as the next person, probably unheathily more than the next person, but this isa bit much and adding a curl to it is just.. 

I mean Superman’s hair looked better at this point, and for those wondering “Wait superman usually has a pretty good look”.. welll. 

Yeah.. post-ressurection.. he had a mullet. Look there are only 4 people in the world who can pull of a mullet: Brock Sampson, Patrick Swayze (God Rest his soul), Hank Venture and Daniel Cooksy as a teenager. And he ALSO put a curl in it and it still looked okay because that’s one of this things along with being selfless, and idiots calling him bland for you know, being a kind hearted symbol of humanity at it’s best. But man the mullet was just not for you bud. 

Morgana naturally tries to change it while Gosalyn watches and...

Yeah as you can probably guess a LOT has happened.. and all off screen. Morgana is not only fully on the side of good apparently, but she and Darkwing have gone from simply flirting with one another to dating AND Gosalyn has met her and they fought the astro mummies together.. no wait that was the Caballleros yesterday.. but still eveyrthing else is PRETTY important stuff and even with the messed up episode order the kind of thing you’d ASSUME an episode would be made about. I mean this is her meeting darkwing’s kid for fuck’s sake. That’s a big step in any relationship let alone one just starting out. And trust me, I didn’t miss anything: every other morgana ep seems to have them already in a steady relaionship. I DO think it’s stuff like this why some fans aren’t crazy about this relationship. Me I think he’s honestly too good for her. 

But before they can go out for whatever vauge date they were going to have the power goes out and DW notices it’s megavolt and prepares to go after him only for Morgana to question him about their date. 

Morgana.. sweetie.. the entire city is blacked out. Nowhere will be open.  But Gosalyn offers an alternative, Morgana go along with him and while both are reluctant they go with it. So Darkwing confronts Megavolt... and soon finds a bunch of chattering teeth. Yup, it’s Quackerjack as the two have teamed up, and together easily defeat Darkwing, putting him in an electric chair. The two also really get along which makes sense: Both have similar personalities, being kinda nuts indivdiuals with a singular obession , which compliment each other as toys often need electric power after all. THey strap darkwing into an electric chair, that got dark fast and he begs morgana to save him.. only for her to accidently turn him into jello. I mean.. they say pudding but.. their diffrent things. Just because world famous sexual predator Bill Cosby promoted BOTH for the jell-o brand doesn’t mean Jello is magically pudding. If he could magically make one thing 

Point is Darkwing is jello, the villians mock him then set up some kind of device and head off.. while also mentioning a mysterious boss. I wonder who it could be. 

Nah.. too obvious. Darkwing is humilated and of course blames. morgana.. for saving his life.. as while the jello humilated him he’s also you know not dead. 

Anyways Darkwing storms off while Morgana worries he likes her. Morg.. the guy got pissy because you saved his life the wrong way with some bad aim. And before that clearly just wanted you there as a trophy to impress you instead of because he valued you in any way but your looks, because let’s face it he’s shown no intrest so far in any way that isn’t superficial and neither have you in him. You both need to actually try to deepen this or end it.  Anyways enough me ranting at 90′s cartoon characters, it’s time for our next Justice Duck to enter the episode as Stegmutt is selling hot dogs now, but no one stops because they just.. run in terror. Poor guy, good thing he’s too oblivoius to notice. Maybe Dr. Fossil had a point.  Back to the plot and it turns out the next phase in the Fearsome Five’s plan is to take out the police... okay so wait are they the bad guys or not? Questions for later. Point is we get a nice mismatch as Bushroot’s timidity contrasts perfectly with Liquidator’s showman ship and he drowns them out. Darkwing prepares to attack, but gets interrupted by Stegmutt, refuses his help.. and we get the best and most iconic gag of the episodes: Darkwing makes a joke about playing pretend.. and senseing Stegmutt is a dummy have him pretend to “put out the darkwing”.. which equates to pulling a Droopy while saying “put out the darkwing”. So the two villians finsih their job and high five and this is one of the most charming parts of this 2 parter: the camradere between the five minus negaduck. The other four just.. easily bond and enjoy each ohters company, only fighting ONCE, and then being on the same page after that. 

It’s also what makes them so deadly: the go too for ANY superhero team in any medium is to simply get the vilians to fight each other as most vilian teams are built on REALLY shaky ground, a mixture of egos and ambitions that unlike with most superhero teams, can’t really be overcome with the greater good.. because their only in it for what they want. The thing that keeps any of these groups together longterm.. is camradere. I’ts why the Flash’s Rogue’s gallery is easily one of the most dangerous; while there are outliers like the reverse flash, most of them are part of the rouges, and ascribe to their rules and morals.. and thus the camradre and support that comes with it. One guy with a cold gun or a super flamethrower or a weather wand or mirror powers.. is pretty damn tough. All four and more together, willing to bail one another out, having their own tailor and weapons hookups. The four remind me of that: a bunch of guys who have the common goal of beating darkwing but likely just.. hang out when not trying to do crimes. Well except negaduck, hence the four thing. By not being able to just easily turn them on one another, it means you HAVE to take them all at once. Even if you got rid of negaduck as both the comics and the 2017 reboot have shown.. you still have 4 immensley powerful, quackerjack included, supervillians who easily can work together instead of a bunch of angry assholes who tend to work better one at a time and just with a united goal. Point is Darkwing Duck is Darkwing Fucked.  Darkwing once again refuses help and yells at Stegmutt, because he’s been evne douchier than usual, and then makes the mistake of yelling at Neptunia, who promptly has her octopus friend throw him into the distance because .. well he deserves it. So while Darkwing patches up that wound to his pride and his spleen, we finally meet our vilians new boss: NEGADUCK. And... they do not explain why a guy who looks exactly like drake is here, if he has any relation to the other negaduck he was inspired by, or why any of them would trust him. This would bother me more.. if A) it wasn’t too much of a stretch for darkwing to have foes we hadn’t seen given the whole casefiles thing and B).. well okay this isn’t really a logical opinon but since when have that stopped me. 

There’s a damn good reason that Negsy has one of the biggest episode counts of Darkwings villians. The guy is just.. the perfect foil to Darkwing, the Joker to his batman, the reverse flash to his flash, the green goblin to his spider-man, the sabertooth to his wolverine. He’s Drake’s equal and opposite number. While Drake can’t take two steps as Darkwing without wanting some attention, Negsy is happy to avoid having any until the moment strikes. While Drake wants attention as much as he wants to do the right thing, Negsy just simply loves doing what he’s doing. To quote the Spies are Forever song “Somebody’s Gotta Do it” “Can’t you see.. how much I enjoy this, i’d never avoid this, cause buddy i’m a diffrent breed. This is my calling, and though it’s appaling, I love making people bleed.” 

He just LOVES being evil. He’s as comically devoted to being a bad guy as Darkwing is to being a good one. He loves the idea of being able to shoot a bunny, he revels in his villiany and he loves every second. But as I said unlike darkwing he dosen’t let his flaws get in the way of his villiany as much. He still does on occasion, he’s still a version of Darkwing after all, but he has his eyes far more on the prize and is far less prone to distraction. He dosen’t care about toy deals or infamy.. he just wants to watch the world burn and laugh manically over the flames. While his obessions CAN be used against him.. as this episode shows it only lasts for a bout a second and he’s usually ready for it. He’s a Drake with no morals, no connections and few drawbacks. And he’s also every bit as clever, with him winning for most of the two parter. And not because the plot needs him too.. he’s simply THAT good at planning, with his plan here being geninely clever. I’m REALLLY hoping for Frank to lead the reboot because combining ALL of this with his reboot backstory will be divine if he gets to. Negaduck was very much worth the hype. 

So his next plan, itself clever.. is to dress up as Darkwing and inflitrate SHUSH, taking out the next possibly thing that could stop them. And he does so easily, even while Darkwing is there and to show off just how friggin awesome he is predicts what Drake will say. The only thing that trips him up is drake hilarious pointing out a cute bunny, because he and the other Negsy apparently share the same burning hatred, causing him to get out his shotgun. And can I just say how wonderful it is he can use a shotgun?  That’d never pass nowadays, which isn’t the worst thing but i do question why VILLIANS can’t be shown being reckless with fire arms. Their the bad guys, kids aren’t going to see it as a good thing. And they still equate laser guns with guns. They aren’t going to trivilaize gun violence because of Darkwing Duck or Looney Tunes. 

Even being found out Negaduck still acomplishes his goal and floods thing. So now both the cops and shush are down, and things aren’t looking great. Darkwing’s still determined he can do this himself and beat them.. but it’s transparent that not only he CAN’T and won’t admit he’s outnumbered but freely admits he just wants the biggest win of his career by taking them all out 4 to 1. Probablem is.. he’s not spider-man and this isn’t the sinister six. As I said he’s not fighting a villian group whose egos clash so badly , at least whent hey first formed, they have to take turns or in later iterations have some member blackmailed in> Their working in concert. He needs help but as we’ve seen multiple times now Darkwing just can’t accept it. He has to be in the limelight and while he does have to relearn the lesson .. it works better here as personality flaws aren’t the kind of thing that fixes itself overnight. Sometimes never. It feels less like it does sometimes in cartoons, where the character just.. never fucking learns, and more like Darkwing has learned it.. he’s just so very human and thus can’t resist sliding black. Less peter griffin more bojack horseman is what i’m saying. I mean there are still bits of just poor writing, but for the most part his ego is like most of his enimies: he just can’t get it to stay beat. 

So it won’t suprise you that when the national guard and gizmoduck are called he’s not happy. You may recall when I reviewed “Tiff of the Titans” I REALLY hated this verison of Gizmoduck. He was concited as Darkwing but treated like he wasn’t, treating the daring duck of mystery like a criminal for stupid reasons and was generally pretty useless and obnoxious. The fact that hamilton camps gizmoduck voice sounds not like a 20-30 something like Fenton is but like Grandpa Simpson mixed with a dash of dudley doo right dosen’t help. 

It’s not lost on me that Dan Castellaneta’s character is NOT the one that sounds like Abe Simpson either. But while that problem is still around... the rest of them.. aren’t. Gizmoduck’s character development actually stuck from last time, so rather than be a dick to darkwing he’s warm, friendly and happy to accept his help when Darkwing shows up, thinking his old “Buddy” is just volunteering to help instead of screaming at him for doing his job. Not only that but while he still has elements of a standard superman type “Cape” hero parody... their more toned down and actually funny with him giving giant speeches, and that being useda gainst him and being over the top.. but still being the noble, big hearted hero you’d expect from the roll, just wanting to do good not for the Glory he gets anyway, but because people need him. In short.. he’s 100% better thsi go round. Well okay 80.. he still sounds like this. 

Gos also brings Morgana along, because apparently she forgot the entire episode where her father was so obssed with being noticed he tried to upstage his 10-12 year old daughter... and you know the hundred other times Drake put his ego over his job. 

So he naturally wants to shoo her while Gizmo. .warmly welcomes the help because he recognizes that people are counting on them not counting on him.  Just then the villians make their move and activate the electro slave device from earlier which.. does nothing like that’d sound like and just creates a giant electrical wall, cutting off ST. Canard and bringing the plan full circle: The villains have now cut off the town and taken out almost anything that could oppose them. And despite you know everything Darking only gets more pissy when Stegmutt and Neptunia show up., Stegmutt because he still wants to return Darkwing’s change as Darkwing bought a hot dog from him and Stegmutt’s also a really sweet guy and Neptuina because well... .the ocean’s her thing and a bunch of bad guys just put a giant line through it she’s now on the other side of. Gizmo suggests the obvious: It’s a day unlike any other when a threat no one duck, or fish or dino duck, can face alone. It’s time to assemble! And Gos is more than excited about the idea, suggesting the name Justice Ducks which.. is honestly fairly weak in my opinon. Not BAD but very clearly just “Justice League” with Ducks in it. Given how good the series is at names, you think they’d of taken more than five minutes on this one. Maybe it was disney mandate I dunno.  But the concept itself.. is brilliant and I wish it came back in other epiosdes; Taking a bunch of other heroic characters in a setting and making them into a team is always a great idea, it’s why the tmnt unvierses have been using the mutanimals more and more lately, and they do ballance each other out nicely. You have a nice contrast of powers: while multiple have super strength, stegmutt is your bruiser, Gizmo is the tech guy, darkwing’s the strategy, morgana handles magic and Neptuina can swim in anything and is super strong and agile outside and inside water, so as long as she can keep hydrated, she’s useful> Which by the way has ALWAYS been the case for aquaman.. except the superfriends version. 

He really does suck and ruined it for the rest of them till Jason Mamoa and his mighty abs, coupled with Geoff Johns run on the charcter that served as the foundation for that movie, finally rescued the character from a fucking decades old cartoon’s smear campagin.  They have the makings of a great team.. it’s just Darkwing dosen’t want a team and screams at everyone to get out and that he dosen’t need them.. I mean he does try to be softer on Morgana but.. he’s still a dick and she really should dump him. Seriously, their attraction is superficial, at this point at least we’ll see in Feburary if it gets any bettter, he dosen’t respect her as a person, and now he’s having to restrain himself at yelling at her.. for HELPING HIM. When he clearly needs it. Holy shit... I was not prepared for that amount of douche. And this would sink the two parter.. were this not clever setup for one hell of a downfall and not a key part of his character. Like has been said: Ego is a massive part of him, and as Tad Stones has put it his real arch enemy. It’s been the basis for several episodes and as we saw in the pilot was his motivation for getting into crimefighting in the first place. He means well and clearly has a heart.. but this is just as much about thwarting evil as it is the attention. And here it’s used perfectly as in the reverse of the gizmoduck episode, where he wanted attention but for fully understandable reasons and judged Gizmo more on stealing his thunder, which while petty i’ll admit is a bit fair given Gizmo did NOTHING in St. Canard but got the key of the city while Darwing had saved it multiple times at this point. 

Here he’s being petty and selfish.. and he has no good reason. It’s just his own ego wanting the credit for everything when it’s not what he or the city needs. Honestly this feels like an ahead of it’s time parody of how Batman would be written when written poorly sometimes in the years after this episode:  a massive dick who thinks he knows better than everybody else and everything else should be entrusted to him because he’s the goddamn batman, the kind who throws people out as potential parts of his family for petty shit and acts like a controlling ass and okay maybe this is spiralling a bit. But the refusal to see any other way is right? Yeah that defintelyf its darkwing like a glove and eveyrone leaves either bummed or pissed at him. And the most pissed? Launchpad who while agreeing to it, his face and tone clearly mean he’s disapointed in his buddy for acting like this when now is REALLY not the time. 

And I wish.. we got more on this because Launchpad disappears till the ending scene after this. No really. Despite being Darkwing’s best friend and sidekick and despite warranting a spot on the justice ducks and despite having every reason to pitch in. he just vanishes. I mean Ducktales may of gone overboard in not having him around since Let’s Get Dangerous, but at least that’s a valid reason: he has another family, he’s really busy and Scrooge has another talented pilot to do the job for him. Granted he’s clearly still doing it offscreen at times but he was both a major part of an hourlong and will be part of any possible spinoff. And hell even back in season 1 when the character ballance was at it’s worst... Donald and Beakly at least HAD reasons for not being in a whole lot of episodes: Donald HATED his uncle, HATED adventure, and HATED the fact his kids were following in their mothers footsteps as he only saw death at the end of it. While they SHOULD have found ways to include him more and his exclusion was pretty bad... he at least had a reason. Here launchpad just has to go now his home planet needs him. And he’s not the only one Gosalyn gets more, she’s worried about darkwing, we’ll get to why in a second and wants to go but Gizmoduck refuses.. and then ALSO vanishes. Which makes even less sense as when has Gosalyn EVER listned to an authority figure? Especially when her dad might be dead? It’s just grossly out of character for her to agree to sit things out and not just tag along with steggmutt anyway once gizmo can’t stop her. I do get this is about the justice ducks but there’s no reason to neglect the other main characters. At least have Negsy capture them too or something. Cripes. 

So yeah the “thinking he’s dead part”. Darkwing sets out to find the five’s lair and misses the big honking flag Negaduck set up, but finds a crumb, puts two and two together and finds them.. as Negaduck planned. Down to the crumb thing as, in my faviorite line of the episode, he planned on Darkwing missing the flag and focusing on the flimisiit clue instead. Naturally they kick his ass, EASILY, and throw him out a window to his death and in classic bond villian fashion don’t check for proof of death. Krakoa would be ashamed. So part one ends with darkwing duck getting thrown to his possible death...

Only for part 2 to pick up with him landing in a trash truck before exiting. And this.. is what makes the ego parts tolerable.. Darkwing.. earnestly reflects, depressed he let his own ego get in the way of things and shoo off his only hope, and thus let the villians take over the city, with Bushroot’s plants harassing people, quackerjacks teeth running the police, and Megavolt having taken the power company and using it to shake down locals and Liquidator flooding part of the city for a plan we’ll get to in a moment. He’s at his lowest point and tht’s while it work: his hubris DOSEN’T get unpunished, he’s fully sorry for it and while he dosen’t out and out apologize to them, he’s not only genuinely contrite but does work well with them and evenly when he finally does get back to them.. but we’ve got a bit to go before that.  So with Darkwing missing Gizmo takes over as big good and not bein ga prick eagerly takes the others help Neptuina nopes out of helping, which fits her personality, so with only three left because he dosen’t consider children useful  which shame on you. I mean i’ts responsible from a real world standpoint but not from a cartoon show standpoint. But anyways they split up gang: Gizmo will go take the power plant back, Morgana will try and use her spells to find the lair and Stegmutt will find darkwing. I do like despite how they neglect Gosalyn that her friendship with Stegmutt was remembered and used as a plot point here. 

So we then get to a rather repttitive part of the two parter. It’s not lacking in good gags or character moments but it’s basically the same scene repeated 4 times just with a diffrent scenario and gag for each of the justice ducks and the fearsome five member they encounter. They do their respective schicks the hero is defeated.. this is 5 or so minutes of a 20+ minute episode. Not TERRIBLE stuff, iv’e seen worse repttition, but not terribly intresting compared to the rest of the four parter.  So, Neptuina encounters Liquidator, whose scheme is selling rafts to people to not drown in exhange for a millioin dollars.. or whatever they have he’s not picky, and they fight but Liqui ultimately wins, Gizmoduck, in the best of the four sequences, swoops in to stop Megavolt and not only lands on his foot.. but spends so long speechifiing Mega gets him from behind, phrasing. Stegmutt hilariously tries disgusing himself with Groucho glasses and is bested by Quackerjack, and Morgana finds the lair but gets taken out by bushroot, though her pet spider archie escapes to go warn the others. 

So after all that Archie makes it back to darkwing’s hq.. only for launchpad to squish him. “ew a bug!”.. just a great quick laugh. Thankfuly he’s more resilent than the average spider and is fine once Gosalyn scrapes him off and they now know the five are in trouble. Also I was wrong Launchpad does return.. for this one scene. And neither get into action once Darkwing returns and after an overly long bit of him deflecting blame to the point I was screaming. 

That being said it is nice when once Darkwing is aware of the situation he gloats a little.. but still goes to save them without any hint of caring about doing it all himself. He learned his lesson.  So at the Lair of the five, Negsy shows what a sadsitc bastard he is, another great side of him.. from a writing standpoint at least. It shows that like darkwing despite a comedic exterior.. he’s VERY dangerous. And he’s set up speciic tourtures for each of the five he has: He’s hooked up Gizmoducks armor to a device that lets him control it’s power flow, so right now it’s entirely drained.. but he can overload it and electrocute him to death when he flips THE SWITCH. Neptuina is stuck under a heat lamp and will fry when he hits THE SWITCH. Stegmutt is stuck in a weightless enviorment that will also loose air when he hits THE SWITCH and morgana is in a chair that will crush her tod eath when he hits.. THE SWITCH... he really loves THE SWITCH and props to him. A lesser villian would’ve had all the traps have a diffrent trigger which while making it harder on any rescuers is just a time waster asking for the heroes he hasn’t gotten to yet to break free. And while it is based in his sadism he still fully intends to watch the deaths personally. Seriously he’s got all his bases covered.. and would’ve won.. if it wasn’t for the rest of the five.  The rest of the five are fighting over territoiry: Buddies they may be but they all want the pie. Negaduck, in his most badass scene shuts them up by pulling out his signture chainsaw for hte first time and scaring the crap out of htem, then using it to carve up the model of the city: They each get a quarter.. and he gets all the loot. Which they dont’ like but agree to to not die today. Though really... what’s the value of that? They have a full city held hostage, control over a quarter each, and no real way to SPEND the loot without letting someone else, say scrooge mcduck, in to stop them. Just give him the money and let him sit on it Smaug style. You get a quarter of a new york sized city to yourself to live out your dreams. I’d love that... maybe nto become a supervillian for that but still, point is you have carte blanche jsut take the W.  Darkwing meanwhile uses Nega’s scheme against him and plans to be delivering skulls, after flowers only piss nega off, and then knocks the guy out.. though his attempt at playing Nega fails as the Four have wisely decided that since they outnumber him and a four way split of the loot is better than none of it, to kill him. Nega.. is not pleased and just wants them to attack him, and they do, and it seems darkwing’s going to have a front row seat for THE SWITCH. But Darkwing recovers, and we get a great tug of war between him and negsy as the switch is turnd on and off on and off till Darkwing finally wins, and then frees Morgana and apologizes and has her free Gizmo, and so on and so on. So our team is reunited, Darkwing’s finally ready to lead and thus we get our battle cries “Justice Ducks, ASSEMBLE!” “Fearsome Five, GET OVER HERE!” And the two face off

And the battle.. is fantastic. Easily the series best so far as everyone gets a moment to shine. Neptuina takes out both Liquidator and Megavolt, this time beating liquidator by creating a whirlpool inside him and turning him into a watery tornado and crashing him into megavolt before he can get stegmutt. Gizmoduck beats Quackerjack handily by using a drill on the teeth, great gag then giving Jacky some ansteic.. a boxing glove to the face. And Stegmutt takes on bushroot and when unsure of what to do.. we get a truly wonderous callback as Stegmutt.. honestly dosen’t know what to do.. so Darkwing gets some payback and tells him to “put out the bushroot, put out the bushroot” you can guess what happens next

Or if you want the more recent versoin

Point is three down two to go, and we get a call back to the pudding thing with Morgana trying to hit liquidator.. before Darkwing in a show of how much of a team player he is now, offers his help, simply having Morg teleport some instant pudding mix over the guy... I mean at least it’s brown this time even if i’ts still  in a jello mold. And to finish it off he and gizmo awesomely use a mixer on both sides. So our heroes have triumphed.. almost. Negs has the controls for the barrier and runs out planning to destroy st canard if they refuse.. then being Negaduck decides fuck it i’ll do it anyway... but Darkwing stops him and we get a slapstick beatdown as DW uses an anvil a pie and other classics and utterly curbstomps his nemissi in an wesome scne. The day is saved, the generator shut down and the city freed.  So we wrap up with the Justice Ducks celebrating.. with Gos and Launchpad. I have an inlking how that conversation went. 

Darkwing relcutnatnly is forced to eat his own words and admit he both enjoys the team and needed their help, before heading off on that Date with Morgana.. though Gizmoduck tries to make it a group thing. Dude no one likes a third wheel.. not even when i’ts ninja brian. So Darkwing uses the iris out to escape, but Stegmutt does try and give that quarter back first, with Darkwing, in a genuinely sweet moment, telling him to keep it and then going off, having earned his happy ending and grown as a person.  Final Thoughts: This episode was WORTH the build up I gave it. It turns out I really didnt’ need most of the intro epsidoes, as while it enhances the villians the heroes are all given decent enough introductions apart from morgana so tht even without the context of how darkwing knows these people it still works. It’s a thrilling, tightly paced for the most part, hilarious and wonderful two parter that ties a huge chunk of the show together into one hour long masterpice. I had my issues of course and i’ve stated them: Gosalyn and Launchpad doing nothing, the pacing towards the middle of part 2.. but otherwise.. it’s perfect. It’ has a great character arc for darkwing on top of everything, once again having his ego bite him in the ass but in a unique enough way it dosen’t feel like a retread of the pilot, and having him genuinely feel bad about it and grow. a bit smug when he learns he has to rescue them sure but he’s never smug to the heroes themselves. And ironically.. he gets his big moment. While he dosen’t beat the five himself he still infliatrated their hq, beat up their leader, saved his friends and then beat negaduck all by himself AGAIN. It may of not been the big moment he wanted.. but it’s the one he needed.  As for the road to the justice ducks itself.. it was a fun ride. Only one honestly two bad episodes; Tiff otf the Titans and Paint Misbehavin and even those had their moments, paticuarlly Misbehavin’s art sequences. The rest of the episodes ranged from alright to standout and overall it was a hell of a time.. so i’m going to rank all the ones i covered leading up to this review. Just Us Justice Ducks (Both Parts) Negaduck Beauty and the Beat Dry Hard Jurassic Jumble Ghoul of My Dreams Something Fishy Fungus Amongus Whiffle While You Work Paint Misbehavin Tiff of the Titans And i’m proud to say this is the first ongoing project on the blog, the first story arc or what have you, i’ve completed. While I DID do a four parter of catch as cash can, this is the first one i’ve done over several months that i’ve completed and i’m proud of it. Does this mean i’m done with Darkwing?

Next week we’ll be wrapping up some more unfinished buisness with another Darkwing Double Feature, this time covering the short career of Quiverwing Quack and in Feburary, and the reason I spent so much time catching up, we’ll be seeing both Morgana and Negaduck again just in time for Valentine’s day. After that?

We’ll just have to see won’t we? So until there’s another rainbow, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. 

[ijustwant2write]

Not Your Typical Woman-Jax Teller x Reader

(GIF credit to @charliehunnamxo)

Masterlist

Summary: requested by anonymous: ‘Okay first of all you are amazing second of all I was kinda hoping you could write a one shot, or fanfiction (whatever you like cause I know it will be awesome either way) where the reader is looking for a job as a mechanic at TM where she gets the job an ends up patching in Mabey getting into a fight with a few crow eaters over Jax who she eventually ends up with thank you so much you are amazing 😍😍’

(A/N: Just changed it slightly, but I hope it’s still what you wanted)

Characters: Jax Teller x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name  (Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Swearing, bitchiness

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Pulling into the parking lot, I smiled to myself as I looked at my new place of work. All my life I had grown up helping my dad work on his car and motorbikes, it just seemed natural to me. Whereas my sister was the typical girly-girl, playing with her dolls and dressing up, I would roll in covered in oil or mud, helping carry the tool box around; I giggled as I thought back to that time, we were so different yet had the strongest bond. This was all I wanted. A simple mechanic job, surrounded by what I loved doing. I had grown up in Charming too, I could never leave this place. 

Confidently strolling towards the office, I kept my head held high as I realised that this place was mostly run by men. Shame really, we needed more women in this industry.

“Hey, (Y/N) (Y/L/N)?” Gemma, the woman who interviewed me called out.

“Yeah, hi!” I said back, shaking her hand.

“Good to see you again, congrats on getting the job.”

“Thank you. I brought those papers you asked for.”

“Great, let’s show you around.”

I had instantly liked Gemma when she first interviewed me, but now I was more sure than ever that she would be a good boss. Her attitude was just amazing, I loved how she was clearly the boss who ran the place, the men respected her too. After showing me where everything was, we ended up back outside, and I couldn’t stop myself from staring at the bikes lined up.

“You got one of your own?” she asked me.

“No, used to. Had to sell it unfortunately, but my dad had one too. They’re beautiful.”

She chuckled.“You know who we are, don’t you?”

I nodded.“Yeah, you’re an MC, Sons of Anarchy to be exact.”

“I’m assuming that’s what attracted you to the job?”

I laughed at that.“No, it’s just a perk.”

My dad had always told me of this MC, almost praising them sometimes. My mom on the other hand, not so much; she could see that they were helping their community, their family, but of course, this couldn’t outweigh the amount of illegal shit they got up to. I always found it exciting. That was something me and my sister had in common, we loved the bad boy look (as most girls do at some stage in their lives), and these men were just the right bunch for us to crush on. Being in an MC interested me. I didn’t know whether it was the danger, the mechanical side, or how close they all were that pulled me towards that life. And here I was, working for them.

“I think you’re going to be just fine here. Hey, I know it’s sudden, but would you mind covering someone’s shift this afternoon? It’s in an hour but he’s called in sick and I need this job doing today.”

“No problem. Might as well get going whilst I’m here.”

I changed into the overalls, pulling down the top half and tying the arms around my waist before throwing my hair up in a ponytail. Normally I was a very confident person, but nerves were starting to kick in. I had only ever worked on cars and such by myself or with my dad, and although I had the degrees necessary, I could feel doubt starting to creep in; it wasn’t a nice feeling.

“Hey, are you supposed to be in here?” I heard someone say behind me as I shut my locker.

“Uh,” I turned around, greeted by a handsome, blonde man,“yeah, I just started today.”

“Oh, right. Sorry, too used to saying that.”

“You’re too used to asking women if they should be in here?”

“Sorry, ignore that. I’m Jax.”

I shook his hand.“(Y/N).”

He looked me up and down before turning away, making me smile. I wasn’t going to lie, I was flattered that someone as gorgeous as him was checking me out. As he turned around, I couldn’t help but stare at his kutte, admiring it slightly. He must have noticed because as he took it off, he looked at me over his shoulder.

“Gotta admit, the chicks dig it.”

“I think I dig it for different reasons.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve always wanted to be in an MC, ever since my dad first introduced me to bikes.”

“Really? Don’t see many women wanting that...actually there aren’t any women patched in.”

“What?! Are you serious?”

“Yeah, it just hasn’t happened yet.”

I thought for a moment, a slow smile appearing on my face.“What does it take to get patched in?”

“You serious? You got any idea the shit you got to go through?”

“No, that’s why I’m asking.”

“Uh...listen, I’m the President of this MC-”

“Oh, shit. This isn’t a good start is it?”

“Look, the fact I’ve never even heard of a woman being patched in means that it’s there for a reason.”

“I mean, it could be that a bunch of males just made that rule because that’s what men were, and sometimes still, are like.”

He nodded to me.“Yeah, it could be. I would have to look into it.”

“So that’s not a no?”

“It’s not a yes.” he smirked.“I’ve literally just met you, I shouldn’t even be considering it.”

“Hm, what does that tell you about me?”

I winked at him, sultry leaving the room with a new found confidence, adrenaline pumping through my veins. With confidence practically radiating off me, I was greeted with another Son, Juice, who was told to show me the ropes before I started working. I was easily able to joke with him as he showed me around, introducing me to everyone else that was there. It seemed easy, everything was where it would usually be, and I just wanted to get started. Once he left, I instantly started working, fully focused on the work in front of me.

As I would bend over the bonnet or lean down to grab another tool, I would notice some of the other men staring; there were those that tried to hide it, others didn’t care if I had seen them. Sometimes I would stare back, instantly causing them to look away, which always made me laugh. They were all working for the Sons of Anarchy, a notorious biker gang, they dealt with illegal stuff daily, yet somehow the presence of a woman made them nervous. 

The weeks flew by, and I couldn’t express how much I was loving my job. Not only was I passionate about my work, the people around me became like a second family. It was so easy to fit in with them. When I told my dad everything, instead of being concerned that his daughter was affiliated with a gang, he was excited, asking me tonnes of questions, as if they were celebrities. But I started noticing that I would be given different tasks to the other workers, ones not involving the garage. It was usually Jax who gave the orders, pulling me away from whatever I was working on to ask a favour. I would go with other members for small tasks, like collecting payments; this definitely wasn’t in my job description. These tasks kept appearing, and I was starting to get an incline that something was going to change for me. 

Like any other working day, I turned up to work, hanging up my belongings and checking my appearance. I heard someone else enter, making me smile as I went to greet them.

“Morning Jax.” I beamed.

“You’re needed, now.” He said coldly, a dark look on his face.

My smile instantly disappeared.“Oh, for what?”

He didn’t say anything, only gesturing with his head to follow. Nerves started to build in my stomach. Had I done something wrong? What could I have possibly done? Did a job go bad? Was a customer unhappy? Numerous scenarios whizzed through my mind as I followed him to their meeting room, where they had their ‘church’ meetings. I could see all of the club members sat around the table. This was serious.

“Stand over there.” Jax ordered, sitting at the head of the table as I stood opposite.

It went silent, all of the men looking at me intensely.

“Look, we appreciate all you do. It’s clear to see that you’re a hard worker, you know what you’re doing. But I’m afraid that isn’t enough.”

I clasped my hands together, gripping onto them tightly as I listened.

“We’re gonna have to put more on you, show us that you really want to do this.”

I felt something slap onto my back, slinging around my shoulders. I jumped slightly, grabbing onto the material before it slipped off. As I brought it in front of my eyes, my mouth dropped open in shock, disbelief strewn across my face.

“No fucking way!” I exclaimed.

They had handed me a kutte, stating that I was a prospect to the Sons of Anarchy! I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming.

“It’s official, you’re our newest prospect. Means we get to boss you around a lot more.” Jax smirked.

“You’re all assholes, I was about to start crying.” I scoffed as I put it on.

“Looking good lass.” Chibs called out.

“How come I can become a prospect? I thought women couldn’t be one?”

Jax explained,“Well, the way we see it, the rules are old fashioned. I could tell that you were serious about it too. You’re our guinea pig.”

Congratulations were passed around to me as the meeting adjourned, smiles on everyone’s faces. I caught my reflection in the mirror. I looked fucking sexy and powerful with this kutte, it was a new part of my life and who I would be.

“I’ve got your first order actually.” Jax, who hadn’t left the room, said.

“Oh? And what would that be, Mr President?”

“For your ass to be at this clubhouse tonight for a party.”

“I think I can manage that.”

“And wear the kutte. Don’ know why I’ve not let a girl wear it before.”

“Glad you like it just as much as I do.”

His teasing tone stopped for a moment.“You do know how serious this is, don’t you?” 

I nodded.“Yes, and I wouldn’t put myself in this position otherwise.”

Once I finsihed my shift, I sped home, racking my brain to think of something to wear. My first party and first time being a prospect, it was daunting. I was making history here, being the first woman prospect. They had seen something in me, and I was going to prove that I was worth the title and much more. 

Checking myself out once more in the mirror, I took yet another picture of me, still not over how I looked; I had done an amazing job of getting glammed up. Jax had offered to take me to the party, even though I could easily travel there myself. Looking over the selfies I just took, I giggled as I sent one to him, along with the message that I was finally ready. I must have received the world’s fastest reply, he was on his way. 

“Someone’s out to impress tonight.” Jax commented after giving me a wolf whistle as I stepped outside.

I gave a little spin, taking the helmet from his outstretched hand.“Don’t I always? Come on, let’s get going, I’m in desperate need of a drink.”

For the first hour, Jax stayed by my side. His hand was around my waist, not caring what it looked like to others. Instead of it embarrassing me or making me uncomfortable, I relished in the fact that he was paying attention to me. Jax lured me in. I didn’t know everything about him, hardly anything actually but that made me want to know him more; he was interesting to me, not to mention undeniably hot. I felt a little lost when he left me for a moment, but I had to remain confident. I was a prospect, and although we had to earn respect, I didn’t want to come off as someone who would just roll over when someone told me to. Especially when two crow eaters approached me, as if I were some sort of prey.

“Isn’t this funny Jackie? The sons must be playing a practical joke.” one spoke.

Jackie obnoxiously cackled.“Oh god, it’s pathetic how she craves so much attention.”

Hypocrites.

“Can I help you?” I snapped.

“Oh, no. We’re just enjoying the entertainment for the evening.”

“Do you honestly have nothing better to do when you aren’t being used as a sex toy?”

“Listen sweetie, I don’t know why they’ve let you become a prospect, quite tragic actually; makes you more frigid than you already are.”

“How would you know what frigid means?”

“You have to respect us. We’re part of the club.”

“No, you’re really not. I work for patched in club members, and the only woman I’ll ever take orders from is Gemma. Stop kidding yourselves and just get on with whatever it is you do.”

“I’ll be telling Jax about this....once we’ve had our fun.”

No, Jax and I weren’t an item, we hadn’t even spoke about anything remotely close to that. She was trying to push my buttons, and although deep down it was working, I masked that.

“You do that. Now let me get on with my night.”

I turned away, leaning against the end of the bar. My hopes of them leaving were false, making me roll my eyes as they came up with more cute comebacks. That’s when I spotted a crate of beers on the floor, giving me a slightly petty idea. Picking up one, I shook it, turning back to face the girls.

“Look, you’re bitchy comments are great, they’re really making me sad,” I sarcastically said, pouting slightly,“but I really think you should cool off.”

I opened the bottle, letting it spray all over the whores. It soaked their skimpy dresses, their squealing grabbing the attention of everyone. It was silent for only a moment before laughing and yelling followed. I laughed too, really wishing that I had done something more to them. They whined as they rushed off, and that was when I knew I had made some enemies. But before I could celebrate my victory, I was harshly yanked out of the room. I panicked as I saw that it was Jax. Shit, was I really not supposed to do that? Should I have been the bigger person?

As he pushed me up against a wall, I could hear how heavy his breathing was.“That was fucking hot.”

“What?” I breathed out.

“Back there, what you did. Everyday I get more and more attracted to you.”

“J-Jax, are you serious?”

“Yes, look if you don’t want this then just say-”

I quickly grabbed his hand, it was my turn to drag him into another room.“Fuck yes, say no more.”

[crue6xx]

Gum

Type:Heavy Smut

Pairing:Nikki×Reader

Y/n=your name

------------------------------------

"Hey, starry eyes" Nikki hollared and squinted his eyes at you and smirked at you from the doorway he was leaned up on with his arms crossed and a leather vest that revealed his abs and pecs with tats all over them. Once again you were starring at Nikki, god was he immaculate and muscular.

"Huh, oh hey Nikki" you shook your head coming back from your dream world

"Heh. I know something now" Nikki chuckled and headed into his room but before closing the door all the way "you really need to work on that ya know cuz its really obvious" Nikki then shut the door.

Tommy came up behind you from coming out of the studio "wow, guess its true huh?" You looked at Tommy confused "what? What's true what are you talking about?" Tommy patted your back and walked to his room shaking his head.

Mick came out of the studio humming "what are you humming?"

Mick stopped "a new song, I call it 'You are Falling for Nikki sixx' "

"What me? Come on really I'm only here to help out we are only friends"

"Eh heh, anyways you honestly should work on it, its obivous like Nikki said" Mick walked away with his hands in his pockets.

You spent the night thinking 'Nikki, really just friends nothing more plus I dont stare at him cuz he's hit its cuz his tattoos, shit I called him got, do I like him?.....' You looked over at your Poster of Nikki and the guys 'Fuck I fell for Nikki Sixx, he is fuckjng hot..shit'.

You now knew you like him, but dose he like you? I mean he is a flirty guy even with you but dose he really like you.

"Nikki?" You slowly open his door.

"Yeah y/n" Nikki was opening a new pack of gum, which once opened the room filled with the minty smell

"What did you mean earlier?"

".....nothing...just a..a joke ya know"

"You sure you didn't mean anything"

"Course not"

Nikki popped a peace of gum in his mouth

"Oh shit I should have told you earlier, your heater in your room doesn't work so you'll be crashing in my room, that cool?"

"Um...yeah do you have a air mattress?"

"Yeah its over there".

You settled down for the night. Nikki was so fucking adorable sleeping you honestly couldnt resist squealing goddddddd.

In the morning you woke up to a shirtless, pantsless Nikki on the bed asleep his hand was touching the air mattress which was touching your hand.

"Shit sorry y/n" Nikki woke up and put on some shorts and a tank top.

"No issue, Nikki" you rubbed your forehead as you woke up.

You followed the guys everywhere this day, to the shops, the meals, the studio.

But of all the things the studio was the last thing until the guys and you head back to the house they all stayed in for the time being, not a sketchy apartment. Which there are two studios the recording studio and the studio in the shated house just to jam in.

Things got juicy during this day. First of all at on of the shops Nikki was looking a dress up and down as he slightly srood back holding the side of it feeling the fabric with his shades down a bit "hey y/n you should wear this sometime, it looks nice"

You kept starring at his mouth as he chewed his gum, it was so attractive the way he chewed his gum, he always had either his sunglasses, his fingers or something in his mouth and with gum you melted at the sight of him in general and he became 10× hotter.

And to be honest about that dress you actually bought it. Then at some restaurant Nikki would spill water on him and you immediately grabbed a napkin and wiped his chest and leather pants down his thigh very close to the inner thigh, you could see the goosebumps on his arm rise as you wiped him down. And as he slouched in his chair slightly he had his four fingers spread across his crotch and inner thigh with hus thumb on his front lower stomach area then he would look over and wink st you.

"Thanks y/n, almost ruined my pants there" Nikki winked as he put the fork in his mouth and chewed his food with a smirk.

Something about his mouth just made you want to fucking die or want to fuck him either way there was something about his mouth that was just so attractive to you.

Finally at the studio for jamming in the shared housr Nikki sat in a rolly chair with his leather pointed shoes and "bad boys hollywood, .ca" tank top and leather pants, had his shoes on the desk area and had his arms crossed with one arm propped up holding a pen to his mouth before he moved it away he popped another peace of him in his mouth.

He chewed loosely in a way slacking his mouth a bit sleazy but with a sort of smirk and not smacking his gum but enough to hear a little bit.

"Sounds great Vince, lets head home now" Nikki got up and hugged you from behind and wrapped his leathet jacket around you "your gonna need this if your riding my motorcycle, unless you like it raw" Nikki had his hands running down your hips.

He walked into the hall looking back for a second. You stood there thinking and took off the jacket.

You walked out in the hall and sae Nikkis room door cracked open, you walked in and sae Nikki on the wall waiting for you.

Nikki grabbed your hips and pinned you to the wall as you wrapped your arms around him kissing him and thrusting your bodies until Nikki picked you up off your feet, still with your back on the wall Nikki had his forhead touching yours "so look is like you like to ride raw then" you pressed your lips on Nikki, he continued to kiss your neck cheekd and lips all while carrying you to the bed.

"I'll leave you shaking, you wont be able to walk for hours after this" he grinned Nikki kisses you.

You stake Nikkis shirt off and throw it to the side while his hands ravish your body heaf to toe, he toys with your breasts and holds your hips, grips your ass and pushes his crotch onto you as you both kiss.

He starts to remove his pants while you despose of your clothes. He lightly bites your ear before leaving a trail of hickies anf kisses down your neck and licking down to your underwear, Nikki hooks the a sides of your underwear with his tgumbs and.slides them down while looking at you submisivly.

Nikki licks your clit making you jolt and quiver as you grab a fist full of his hair and loudly moan. Nikki rotates back and forth right before you feel anything coming soon he switches and insets his tongue without any clue to what he was going to d and not telling you, suprising you every now and then.

Nikki licked and sucked your inner thigh and rubbed your legs as moans slipped from your mouth.

You were so close until Nikki got up and waited a second before he plunged into you without any warning, your lips opened and no sound came out but a small moan and peep.

"Just gonna say this now, get fucking ready"

Nikki was in and out slowly at first through every thrust and.push amping up the speed until your legs shivered and shook from the feeling.

Nikki would edge his tip at the end of every time he came close to pulling out and rubbed your clit mercicly and fast. Your body almost couldnt take all the pleasure your body was receiving.

Nikki was fast and hard you kept getting so close then Nikki would slow down and the pleasure that was building up and about to over-flow would go down and he would mame you wait. You couldnt hold it in so long but he made you and no matter how many times you thought he was gonna let you finish he didn't.

He was waiting for you to fully break. "Nikki Fuck oh god I'm gonna cum".

"Not yet, hold it in" he made you wait to long you were going to break sokn enough. Nikki made the hardest thrust then slowed down so slow and rubbed your clit with the edge of his duck slowly until you released more that have with any other guy.

Nikki had a evil grin on his face and chuckled "what about me? I'm not finsihed" Nikki didnt even let you finsih all the way through your high and plunged right back to it.

"Your gonna cum again no matter what" Nikki whispered into your ear grasling your ass as he fucked you hard.

"Fuck y/n your so fucking hot, fuck im gonna cum" Nikkis warm breath chilled your neck with goosebumps as you felt the pressure almost over boil in your stomach. "I want to hear how I make you feel, I want you to br as loud as you need to be" Nikki was on the verge about to break, ad you were to.

"Ahhh shit y/n fuck im gonna cum, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna fucking fill you" Nikki moaned and groaned loudly as you felt your body explode with pleasure.

"Want some Gum?" Nikki offered kissing you and giving you a peace.

"Did you like that? Cuz i think you fucking loved it"

"I love you Nikki"

"I guess we think alike" Nikki smiled with his arm underneath your neck draping over your sholder lying doen besides eschother in bed.

You still loved watching Nikki chew his gum lying in bed.

[hazyheel]

Monday Night Raw Review 4/22/18

Night started out with a promo from Seth Rollins and Triple H, who hugged for some reason, despite beating the shit out of each other at Wrestlemania two years ago. Rollins is apparently from Iowa, so he got a huge applause. They talked about how Rollins beat Lesnar at mania. It sounded like they said that Rollins stomped his fucking head in, with the swear and all. They then talked about who Seth’s opponent will be at Money in the Bank. The best of the best would be competing for #1 contendership throughout the night. Samoa Joe, Rey Mysterio, Drew McIntyre, Miz, Baron Corbin and AJ Styles came out to confirm that they will be in the triple threats, with the winners of the two matches going on to a final in the main event.

Grade: B. I was actually into this. The whole “Seth vs. The World” was a cool story to tell. Everyone cut a little promo, and while it was painfully obvious that the Raw writers aren’t as good as Smackdown’s, they were still fun. It made me actually feel excited for the episode.

The first of those triple threats was right away. Rey Mysterio vs. Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles. Styles and Mysterio had a good back and forth, with both selling their asses off for the other. At one point, Joe hit an awesome samoan drop off the top rope.The finish was really exciting, with Mysterio hitting Joe with a 619, only to get caught out of the splash with a powerbomb from Styles, then another powerbomb onto Joe, followed by a Style’s clash onto Joe. Styles then hit a Styles Clash to Mysterio onto Joe. AJ then pinned Joe for the win.

Grade: B-. A bit of a spotfest, but it was still fun. The selling in this match was actually crazy, they all made each other look awesome. Fun match, with a surprising outcome. I definitely didn’t think Joe would get pinned, but he has been. So we may see another AJ vs. Joe feud in the coming weeks.

Next match was Billie Cay vs. Naomi. The IIconics cut some annoying promo about Starbucks or something, it doesn’t matter. The match was quick, but I liked it. Naomi kicked Peyton Royce off of the apron while hanging Cay up on the top rope, before pinning Cay with a powerbomb cover.

Grade: C+. I liked this for what it was. But it was too quick to give it anything above this. Still, I wonder what this will lead to.

They showed a promo for Bray Wyatt’s new character. They then went right into the next triple threat, Miz vs. McIntyre vs. Corbin. Heels ganged up on the faces quickly, with Miz attempting to use his intelligence to outsmart them. The heel alliance did not last long. Oddly enough, Miz is still using Daniel Bryan’s moves, which is odd to see with Miz as a face. Match came to an end when McIntyre nailed Miz with a claymore, but Corbin then threw McIntyre out of the ring and got the pin.

Grade: D+. Yeah, boring fight. Finish was creative, but Corbin didn’t need this win. Styles vs. McIntyre would’ve been awesome. this was really just a babyface in peril type match.

Sami Zayn was out next, going to war with the crowd about how he didn’t change, they did. He said that his time away was the best time of his life. He was thrilled, but when he started coming back, he felt anxious and sad. Because of all the fans. He says they are responsible for his shortcomings. He told the locker room to take a vacation, to get away from the fans. He then told everyone to go to hell and walked off.

Grade: B. Simple heel work, same stuff as last week.

Cedric Alexander came out for his debut, squaring off against Cesaro. The two had pretty good chemistry, with Alexander selling like crazy. Cesaro was channeling his old singles prowess. Alexander attempted to go for power moves to match Cesaro, but he was just not as strong as the heavyweight. Alexander hit a cool little combination of dropkicks, and then a Michinoku Driver for a near fall. However, as Cedric went for a springboard move, Cesaro intercepted with a European Uppercut for the win.

Grade: B+. Good match, but it was a little short. Still, very good for a TV match. Finish was surprising, but it made sense. I’d love to see these two go at it again, and since Sheamus is injured, no reason not to push Cesaro. A singles feud with these guys would be awesome.

Backstage, the Usos talked about the tag team competition on Raw, showing good charisma with a bad script. The Revival squared up with them, and that is a match that I need in my life. The Viking Raiders then came out, no longer the Viking Experience. They took on the Lucha House Party, but just beat them down before the match. I Guess their finsiher, the pop up powerslam, is the Viking Experience now. Then, backstage, Ryder and Hawkins were interviewed about their feelings on the tag division, and they just said that they will fight Erik and Ivar when they earn it.

Grade: C. A strong C, but not quite a C+. These segments were basically all to show how strong Raw’s tag divison is, and I am excited to see how things shake out in the coming months. But at the same time, this was all tease, so I can’t rate this any higher.

Becky Lynch finally had her first match as a double champion, against Alicia Fox. Before the match, Lynch cut a promo in front of a super hot crowd. Lynchwas pretty heavily scripted, but she snuck in a couple of her own bits. Becky’s promos have kinda sucked since they tried to script her as a tweener, rather than as a cool heel. Lacy Evans then came down to the ring, cutting a very condescending promo about how the Lady will teach the Man a lesson. Lynch told Evans not to mistake her happiness for contentment, and Alicia Fox came down to the ring. She looked like she was randomly spazzing as she walked down, and I love it for no reason. The match was simple: Lynch destroyed Fox, and Fox was just doing her best. Lynch was able to lock in the disarmer to end an odd match. As soon as it was done, Evans got in the ring and nailed Lynch with two woman’s rights.

Grade: C-. All the stuff between Evans and Lynch was fine, but the match was pretty bad. They were just very awkward together, and there were a lot of botches in the match. Luckily the promos were good, and I am actually looking forward to the match between Lynch and Evans. Should be pretty good, and the story is developing in an interesting way.

Baron Corbin talked about himself backstage, saying that he will run straight through Styles, and then through Rollins to become the universal championship. I actually was unsure of who I wanted to win, but if Styles and Rollins had a series of matches, that would be phenomenal (no pun intended).

Next was Ricochet vs. Robert Roode, who changed his name because... I don’t know. He has a moustache now, so that is cool. But I’m fine with it, because he is finally heel on the main roster. Corey Graves loudly exclaimed that there will be a spike in pregnancies in the midwest, and it was hilarious. He also continuously yelled at Michael Cole and Renee Young for messing up Robert’s new name. In the actual match, Roode was being very tricky throughout the match, countering Ricochet’s high risk offense with simple leg sweeps and such. Ricochet did hit an awesome moonsault off the ring post, as well as a GTS type move for near falls. In the finish, Ricochet missed the 630 senton, and Roode threw him face first into the turnbuckle and hit the Glorious DDT for the win.

Grade: B+. I actually really liked this match, but it wouldn’t have been a B+ without the awesome commentary for this match. It was just so absurd and funny. They had some good chemistry, despite working a slower pace.

Then, there was some fucking thing called the firefly fun house, with Bray Wyatt. I think it was supposed to be creepy, maybe. I don’t fucking know. Maybe this is a face turn, I am like 85% sure it was. This was terrible. Why the fuck did they do this? His gimmick wasn’t the fucking problem, it was his booking. This gets an F. I don’t normally grade shit like this, but it deserves all the hate that it will get. If they make it work, great. But right now, Wyatt needs to leave the company. He is misused, and I hate this. But lets see where it goes.

And finally, the main event. AJ Styles vs. Baron Corbin for #1 contendership to the Universal Championship. Styles was selling for Corbin right out of the gate. Corbin was hitting several high impact moves, with Styles fighting from behind for most of the match. Styles did lock in the calf crusher for a bit, but Corbin fought out. However, Corbin went for a move off the top rope, but Styles dodged it and Corbin crashed onto the top rope. Styles then hit the phenomenal forearm for the win. After the match, Rollins came out, and they shook hands.

Grade: C+. I am actually super into Corbin’s heel work right now, a sort of meta heel, where he is getting both real heat and bad heat. AJ actually pulled a half decent match out of Corbin. Plus, this is a dream match that I have wanted for years now. Seems like a win win. I want to see what they do with Corbin in the next few weeks, because he is actually pretty fine and he is a good heel.

Overall Grade: C+

Pros: 1st triple threat; zayn promo; alexander vs. cesaro; ricochet vs. roode

Cons: 2nd triple threat; stupid ass Wyatt shit

[ka-star]

My thoughts on the TAZ: Graphic Novel

Okay, short answer would be:

LOVED IT

LOVED IT

MOTHERFUCKEING LUV IT

For a longer answer, see below cut (possible TAZGN spoliers)

Let me start by saying the wait was so, fucking worth it! I had a long day yesterday, knowing I would finally get the book by the time I got home, and I couldn’t have been happier just for that.

As an adaptation, the GN is pretty solid. I’ve listened to the whole podcast at least twice, so I caught where they keep certain scenes just as they were, and some that had to be tweaked a little bit. I think it helped a lot that the story itself is finsihed, so there are little moments in the book that will play later in the story, if you know where to spot them.

A few scenes, ones that I would call fluff, where cut, but I can see why. You go from a freestyle medium like a D&D podcast to a graphic novel and you have to be able to stay on course story wise without going off the rails. Carey and the McElroys did a great job at this, I think. It still feels like TAZ, even if some bits are a little different then what was in the source material.

For example, (and I knew this was going to be something that was either going to be altered or cut) Taako’s Taco Quest is not mentioned at all in the book, and I like that, because that was way back when Justin was playing Taako as a dumb character and not as he’s is now. Taako is not dumb at all in the book; he’s more like how is he about halfway through the podcast. Again, I like this because he’s doesn’t feel like a one dimensional character from the start. A good change, in my opinion.

One other thing I want mention is the destruction of Phandalin/Haverdale (the name was changed due to copyright stuff.). That scene was, hands down, the most intense bit in the whole book. The tone shift hit me like a truck, and I mean that in a good way, because the way it played it was a little different then in the podcast. Carey’s artwork in that whole scene gave me chills, and I found myself looking back to those few pages just to look at the character’s faces as they watch the firestorm from the bottom of the well. And even when they get out of the well to see just how much damage was done; that shit just added to the seriousness of what just happened. The whole scene left me speechless, and I loved it.

I can’t wait for the second book, even if I have to wait another year for it. It will be worth it, and I hope the McElroys and Carey continue to work together to bring the whole story of TAZ: Balance to life in this form.

[everythinginslowmotion]

Voltron Rec List

Note: I also have a fic rec page where you can find all of these fics as well (|x|), and all of these on this list will be Klance (EXCEPT #4: GAP YEAR).

COMPLETED FICS (more and uncompleted fics under the cut)

1. What We Make of it  by: Wittyy-name

rating: Mature 

chapters: 1

words: 46,327

description:  Keith has been training for this for months. So despite feeling like everything else in his life is falling apart and could be summed up with a big, blaring question mark, he finds himself halfway across the world with Shiro and Allura, preparing for his first ironman triathlon. He was expecting some typical touristy activities and a grueling day of physical activity. What he wasn't expecting was to meet a gorgeous boy with bright blue eyes and a smile that made his insides squirm. Lance has been in a rut, unable to find the happiness that once filled his life. Everything looks gray, and he feels suffocated. And that's how he finds himself halfway across the world, backpacking across a foreign country with his best friend, Hunk, and their new friend, Pidge. That is, until they run out of money and decide to get a job. He's having fun, and colors are leaking past the dam and back into his life. What he wasn't expecting was to meet a beautiful boy with dark eyes and a shy smile that broke those flood gates wide open

review:  Oh my God, Wittyy did it again. Honestly, since finding her work, I've been in love. I plan of reading all of her storys (that pertain to my fandoms- which is just Voltron right now) at some point in time because the writing is just beautiful. What We Make of it is another example of how the Voltron fandom has amazing writers that are capable of converting me from 200,000 word, extremely thought out fics to oneshots and have me like them in the same way. It's pretty long for a oneshot but it's worth it. It's really good (and it's based on her trip to New Zeland so even better).

2. Never Saw You Coming by: dimpleforyourthoughts

rating: Mature

chapters: 1

words: 47,873

description: Three months in space on his own would have been fine. Three months in space with Lance McClain is a whole other fucking story

review: HOLY SHIT oh my God this is one of the best fics I have ever had the pleasure of reading. I thought her other one was great but this one just blew everything else out of the water. Keith is an ass but I still love him and it works so well (because it is in his pov). Ugh it is so so good please read it becasue it deserves to be recognized and appreciated more- honestly I dont know how it isnt more popular. Definitely one of my top favorite fanfics I have ever read!

3. Nothing Quite as Sweet by: dimpleforyourthoughts

rating: Teen & Up

chapters: 1

words: 50,370

description: Keith is a barista who hates his job. Lance works at the cat shelter across the street. 

review:  So due to my recent lack of fanfiction to read, I spent the entire morning looking at rec lists trying to find on worthy of reading and I had seen this one on a couple and saw that though it was a oneshot that it was in fact longer than Wittyy's WMMOI and thought "Why not give it a shot". So I did and then spent the rest of my afternoon reading it and holy shit was it good. Honestly, I'm so happy i read this because like words just can't descrive how I feel about it. I'm usually not a big fan of cats and stuff but the way they are used in here just get me and Im also not huge on coffee shop aus but this one is just way too good. read it. READ IT. Its so worth an entire afternoon.

4. Don’t Forget to Remember Me by: CamelotQueen

rating: General 

chapters: 1

words: 4,107

description: Keith recognizes him immediately. Alarm bells go off in his head. This person is important, he thinks. He wishes he could remember. “Keith!” he exclaims, “Look who’s finally awake. How are you feeling today?” Keith falters. His mind is working a mile a minute trying to recall this person’s name, what he is to him. “Um… who are you?” he asks dumbly. He immediately regrets it. -Keith suffers from dissociative amnesia

review: If you like sad, read this. This is a oneshot that was followed up with the next fic to this right (I'll Never Leave You Alone) and both of them kill you. They are so well written and you really can feel the emotions that is going on between the characters, especially what Lance is feeling as he takes care of Keith who is also struggling very much so. The other members of Team Voltron (minus Allura and Coran) make an apperance in this fic but their part is minor.

5. I’ll Never Leave You Alone by: CamelotQueen (add on to Don’t Forget to Remember Me)

rating:  General 

chapters: 7

words: 17,300

description: Over a decade after the team was launched into space, Keith is back on earth struggling with dissociative amnesia. Luckily he's not fighting it alone, and his husband and the rest of the team are there to help. A series of drabbles revolving around Keith's amnesia

review:  I can't with this fic. The oneshot (Don't Forget to Remember Me) made me cry, and although I managed to not cry during these 7 oneshots, it still got to me so bad. I feel so horrible for Lance and Keith and everyone else because they have to go through this and I can't even imagine how hard it would be. Each chapter is a different day in Keith/Lance's life. They are mainly bad/neutral days and chapter 2 is a great day, but again for the most part this will kill you but it is amazing.

6. Gap Year by: WaxandWane

rating: Teen & Up 

chapters: 1

words: 1,432

description:  Lance finds himself. Turns out, he was right there all along.

review:  This is in fact the only fic that I have read that is not for a ship. It is for Lance on his own. Again, it's another fic with a really short description but trust me it is well worth the read. I'm usually not one that is for oneshots all that much but since I've entered the Voltron fandom, oneshots are mostly the only completed works since it's a fairly new fandom. Also this is completely from Lance's perspective and it's a little depressing becuase Langst but Langst is now my new favorite thing (Lance + Angst is the best thing to ever happen to me) so I'm 100% okay with that.

7. Lucky by: imtheonlybeefcow

rating: General Audiences 

chapters: 1

words: 7,000

description:  Allura lets everyone have a one week vacation! Lance gets to see his family.

review:  So this one is actually by one of my best friends. When she first told me about her "Lance can sing headcanon" I was like OH MY GOD THAT IS AMAZING I WANT IT NOW, and then she told me she was writing a fic and I was so happy (especailly since she let me read it as she was writing it). This whole thing is just so pure. Also Lauren is amazing and I love her

8. I Think I’ve Hit A Wall by: imtheonlybeefcow

rating: Teen & Up 

chapters: 6

words: 11,286

description:  Keith gets injured while training and it's up to Lance and Shiro to take care of him

review:  Another fic by my friend (no I'm not being bias I promise, I'm actually super picky about my fics and she is a great writer so her fics deserve to be on here). One of my favorite things about this fic (besides the fact that I was able to read parts of it before everyone else, and was asked for help with some of the decisions- nothing major and only like 2 things but still) is the title. It fits it so well, and I think it's really funny considering. Read it, it's a good one

UNCOMPLETED FICS

1. On Thin Ice by: Minadora

rating: Mature 

chapters: 9/?

words: 149,858

last update: 3.12.17

description: Once upon a time, two Canadian nerds decided to start a figure skating au about their two space sons and their wonderful misfit friends. Ten pages of headcanons later we finally put electronic pen to electronic paper and created this monstrosity. This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to "work on his footwork". There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater. Enjoy the ride because it's only just started.

review:  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. That is how I feel when I'm reading this fic. And when it updates. And just in general anytime I begin to think about it. I love this fic so, so much. It's literally all of my favorite things combined into one big thing. Angst, Fanfiction, Klance, and Figure Skating. And it's so good and long (and i'm a sucker for long fics). Honestly, I'm such trash for this fic and I get told that all of the time but I'm so okay with it because come on figure skating is the best

2. Shut Up and Dance With Me by: Wittyy-name, illustrated by: Wolfpainters

rating: Mature 

chapters: 10/16

words: 132,130

last update: 5.26.2017

description:  Lance and his friends have been regulars at the Altea Dance Studio for years. Not just for classes, but to hang out, practice, and spend time with good people who love dancing. Every year, they audition to be one of the few representing Altea at the regional dance competition. Lance always auditions solo, but this year he misses out on auditions and blows his chance to participate. And so does his self-proclaimed rival, Keith. Luckily, Shiro comes up with a brilliant plan: convince Lance and Keith to audition as a duo. With a little convincing, and a lot of effort, these two might just be able to pull it off and go to regionals... or they might crash and burn.

review:  When I said I love Wittyy's work I wasn't kidding, her fics will be on here a lot. I think I started reading this after I finsihed reading what was made of OTI, and I was like holy shit did I just find another amazing slow burn au with another sport that i like. The answer is yes, I did. Honestly I have a huge problem, but I don't really care at this point because fics like this are just so good and Wittyy is an amazing writer and wolfpainters (the arist, aka Sora) is also just so good and together they are perfect.

3. The Marks We Make by: Wittyy-name, illustrated by: Wolfpainters

rating: Mature

chapters: 5/?

words: 94,834

last update: 5.4.2017

description:  Lance McClain constantly dreams of the day he'll finally meet his mysterious soulmate. They don't say much, if anything at all, but they leave him with gorgeous paintings temporarily tattooing his skin. It's not exactly the situation he hoped for, but when he feels the connection between them, he can't bring himself to resent them. As much as he wishes his soulmate would just talk to him, he's resigned himself to being patient. In the meantime, he has a loving family and good friends to help him get by. Keith Kogane dreads the day he'll finally meet his obnoxious soulmate. He's just an art student who's struggling to find his place in the world. There's so much he hasn't been able to control in his life, and the thought of having a soulmate, just another thing in his life which he also has no control over yet can't do anything about, is a little terrifying. So he ignores the words that occasionally appear on his skin. He has other things to focus on: like being a new student at a big university where his childhood friend and step-brother go.

review:  Yet another fic by my favorite person, Wittyy (and illustrated by Wolfpainters). Just when you thought Wittyy's writing couldn't get anybetter, it did. This fic only has a few chapters up right now and I'm hooked. Like everything else that she has ever writen, TMWM is halarious, angsty and cute and sweet all at the same time. I think part of the reason I love her writing so much is that the characters never seem like they are out of character from the show, yet I almost forget they aren't her characters at all and I love it. Anyway, this fic is amazing and I can't wait to see where it goes. (bonus for all HP fans- there is also quiddich so read up you nerds)

4. Shadow of the Past by: wittyy-name (mirrored fic: Ghost of the Future by: Zizzani)

rating:  General 

chapters: 2/?

words: 18,988

last update: 2.26.2017

description:  When Lance is thrown through time, he finds himself one year in the future, in place of the Lance that should be here. He finds his team to be remarkably familiar, yet distinctly different. They have more scars, a better grip on the whole saving the universe thing, and over a year’s worth of teamwork to bind them together. But the weirdest part? Keith seems to be a lot more touchy with him. Not that he’s complaining… much. The team must try and work out how to reverse the two Lance’s places and restore them to their original timelines. But despite the fact that they’re still his friends, Lance can’t help but feel a little out of place among a team that’s been through so much with a Lance that just isn’t him. And it doesn’t help that the team is on edge around him, refusing to tell him anything for fear of influencing and changing the past. Things get even more complicated when they have to rely on the team in the past to complete the switch, leaving Lance to little more than sit, wait, and attempt to fill in his future self’s shoes. Mirror fic to "Ghost of the Future" by Zizzani

review:  So like it's mirror, I also discovered this one through Wittyy and if you read Ghost of the Future then you need to read this one as well because they go together and it just makes the whole thing so much better, not to mention, who wouldn't want to see the future paladins (because this one is from past!Lance's perspective in the future). It's super interesting to see how Witttyy portray's the futures of team Voltron so far and how their relationships and lives have changed over the course of the year.

5. Ghost of the Future by: Zizzani (mirrored fic: Shadow of the past by: Wittyy-name)

rating: General

chapters: 2/?

words: 17,282

last update: 2.26.2017

description: When Lance is thrown through time, his future self from one year ahead is transported to the past in his place. This Lance is faster, stronger, and markedly more mature. Not only that, but he's distinctly more intuitive about his teammates and A LOT more touchy with Keith. The team must try and work out how to reverse the two Lance's places and restore them to their original timelines. Things only get more complicated when the Future Lance can't seem to remember where he was when the switch happened, and he refuses to reveal anything about his own time for fear of influencing the team's decisions. Mirror fic to "Shadow of the Past" by wittyy_name 

review: So I discovered this fic through Wittyy (who writes the mirror fic) and WOW it is so good. This one is from future!Lance's perspective in the current time (the time of the show) and I just have so many feelings towards Lance from the future, it's really not okay (I love him so so much). Ugh these two fics are just so well written and i can't handle it.

6. I Found Love by: seabreez, illustrated by: thesearchingastronaut

rating: Teen & Up 

chapters: 3/?

words: 12,201

last update: 3.17.2017

description: Keith is just trying to live his life as a freelance illustrator with his cat, keeping up with bills by having two part-time jobs. But when he keeps bumping into Mr. Tall, Tan, & Handsome after a music event at his bar, well, maybe he's willing to make time for pretty, blue eyes and a laugh like silver bells.

review: Okay, so thesearchingastronaught is hands down one of my favorite voltron artists because her work is amazing, so when I saw that she collabed with people and did the art for fics I had to read them. I actually read the next fic before this one but still this one is so good. Pure fluff is a really good change from my usual slow burn hardcore angst that I'm used to. So if you are looking for fluff or just a break in the sadness that is your choice of fanfiction, then this is for sure the fic for you.

7. Off Balance by: jubilee_jawz, illustrated by: thesearchingastronaut

rating: General Audiences 

chapters: 2/?

words: 4,786

last update: 1.27.2017

description: 12 year old Keith has settled into his adoptive home quiet nicely. Its Christmas Eve and Shiro makes it home late from uni and he takes Keith out to see the local ballet preform The Nutcracker. Lance is a soldier in the show and beats a rat into submission and little Keith gets his first crush. (AU where Lance is a ballet student at Altea Academy and Keith is pining as per usual. )

review: Fuck Dance AU's- aka. please read this because there are only 2 chapters and it's so adorable already and there is a cute mini aussie named Chaiko and i love dance AU's and need all of them now but especially this one. Jubilee-jawz is the actual author and thesearchingastronaught is the amazing artist for this story and if you like klance then you have probably seen her work- it's so good. Unfortunately, I think this fic has been set on hold for just a little bit because of some personal issues, but I'm not completely sure

[dyingbowlofpetunias]

ok I’m not trying to be edgy here and self diagnose... but I strongly suspect that I might have ADD. It would literally explane every single thing that has ever happened to me...ever. 

I mean I know If I do that it is definitely not a strong form of the disorder but I know it did use to be a hell of a lot worse when I was a kid. 

I zoned out about 85% of the time in school, forgot my homework, was unorganized to a point where it negatively impacted my school life. 

I would focus on one thing ( and only that thing) for weeks on end.... like when I was obsesseed with pirates in 4th grade I would get angry at teachers for calling me out on daydreaming in class because i was thinking about the book on pirates that I was reading. 

I would always say somethig wrong without realizing that it could hurt someone...without the slightest intention of hurting or offending them. I always had this strong feeling that things that other people do normaly and without a problem would be impossible for me to do. I had this strong sense of being “other”. I was/am incredibly bad at self assessment. (and at understanding how I seem to others). 

I forget names and details seconds after being told them ...like I have no idea what most of my friends eye colour is, after years of knowing them, because i dont notice and if i do i forget. 

 I zone out while speaking and being spoken to. I INTERRUPT PEOPLE... CONSTANTLY!!!

The only reason I wasnt diagnosed with a learning dissability that I obviously (in my opinion) had is that I didnt want to be diagnosed and under high pressure managed to focus really well on the test ( for like 10 minutes), while i continued to do really badly at school in the same things no matter how hard i tried. 

My thoughts are all over the place and i get paniked and overwhelmed by the “simlplest” things. 

If i dont hyperfocus..i dont focus at all. 

I miss being obsessed with things cos that is the only time i can focus and get work done,

 I never finish anything, the last 1% of the project takes me 99% of the willpower ( because at that point i no longer care bout the subject that was the most interessting thing to me when I started)

I can’t work with others because I have my own ideas and if i have to make compromises i get really upset because i get really excited about my ideas...I end up being the one person in the group that just does what everyone else tells them because if I can’t do it my way (with my way of thinking and working) then I won’t be able to do it at all. 

My way of thinking seems weird to others so when people are watching me do somethig my way i get super unconfortable...try to act “normal” and fuck up terribly.

 I cant explain concepts that are very clear to me cos my sentences are all over the place.

I get excited about NEW things so much and want to start projects all the time, but I never want to finsih them..

I can’t like things normaly.. i can be obsessed and then suddendly find the thing that i was just obsessed with is the most boring thing ever. 

I can’t make future plans because I overthrow them everey week...twice. 

I used to get irrational angry outbursts over small things and as soon as i calmed down not understand why. 

I mean all these things have become better and better in the last years so...I zone out way less, I learned how to understand the ways my words impact my surroundings and I have learned how to focus on studying and school work ( i think it is because i learned to enjoy it)

 I don’t even know why I wrote all of this...noone will read it but yeah. I mean maybe I’m just imagining it...but the fact remains that this would explain a lot

[popculturebuffet]

Close Enough Reviews: The Canine Guy

We’ve finally reached the end.. hopefully not of the season and there are hints that there’s a little more to come so fingers crossed, but of the massive bomb. 12 episodes, with three thankfully done already. 1 day. Doors open let’s go after the blurb and the cut.  Josh and Alex have a falling out over a yearly tradition that leads to Josh befreinding a talking dog raised on Jim Carrey movies, while Bridgette drags Emily to a cabin in the woods, wooo ooo, to try and get their music duo back on top and run into musical legend and living god Weird Al Yankovic. Dare to be stupid under the cut. 

Like many episodes of this show, and what i’ve said is a strength this episode is two plots tha tsomehow end up smashing into each other but unlike the rest it’s 22 minutes. The show was, unsuprisingly originally convinced this way, as recently revealed by JG himself during the show’s premiere day reddit ama, but the execs later decided to simply cut most of hte episodes down to 11 minutes to improve hte pacing, which as we’ve seen clearly worked . But this one DOES make full use of it’s 22 minutes and does make me hope if hte show gets a season 2 they feel free to ping pong a bit. So with that settled, let’s dive in.  Our A-Plot starts with a flashback showing Josh and Alex’s yearly tradition: Going to midevil times together, due to having seen it in the cable guy, even qouting it and other jim carrey movies as the two were super fans. This continues fine into college but by last year alex just.. isn’t as into it. IT’s a sacred friend ritural and all but Alex is just getting bored.  Things come to a head in the present where, when Alex tries to just flat out get out of it, as he has press agents looking at his viking novel he’s been working on who might actually publish it and as his characeter profile, if not the series makes clear, just like josh and emily’s own dreams this is his. It’s resonable, they could just resschedule.. but Josh feels betrayed lashes out, Alex calls medivial times stupid and historiclaly inaccurate (even if he loves fecatia dippers with tomato soup ), and Josh storms off. Josh wallows, and finds the mead tastes like horse piss (Which leads to an utterly great and gross gag when it turns out ita ctually is, the guy serving it says “He’s on to us”) And switches to brownies using the same horse. Sometimes a grossout gag can work.  However Josh soon finds a new buddy in a talking dog named dog guy who was tourtred by and is running from the scientest who created him for reasons we’ll get to in the climax. And since the dog was also raised on jim carrey movies, and gets josh’s refrences and love of htem, the two quickly bond. Alex is pissed and jealous, somehow more than with his own ex wife, to see this despite trying to clear his schedule to make things up to josh, as he’s still a good guy and can realize he was wrong, and has his meetings, which are boring or frustrating, whie also stalking JOsh and Dog boy. Alex in a fit of rage at seeing dog boy seemingly tear up his manuscript calls the scientest, who popped by earlier looking for him.. only to find out that he just tore up the ending because he felt , as ac ollege graduate no less, that it could be a franchise and the two become friend. WHile Josha nd Alex fight over him Dog GUy’s creator kidnap him and the two head off, their freindship exploding over josh calling the cops and the two both wanting the dog to be their new best friend as well as the whole medievil times thing. Meanwhile Pearles tracking dog guy’s creator, because as she explains to ready cold cases are her majong and lets Candace be the corrput denzel washington type which unlike the previous pearle bit has REALLY not aged well for a number of reasons, but none I can blame the show itself for. 

Alex and Josh head after dog boy and find that the crazy lady who made him is making animal films (It was tourture because she’s bad at it and she was still genuinely abusive) and seeing dog guy as a failure wants to chop up his balls (after using 80 diffrent terms with alex scremaing “Just say balls), to make new dog guys.  Meanwhile in the B plot we first see Bridg and Emily’s comedy rock act which is genuinely funny but fails to impiress with Bridgette having grown frustrated over emily’s focus on candace, in a nice parallel.It also shows that for all her social mediaing and partying, Bridgette DOES take her music seriously but it hasn’t been able to progress without her musical partner.Emily waffles on joining her for a cabin retreatto work on it, with bridgette evne assuming with a fake emily she made out of pillows that emily would bring candace but nope: Candace is left with pearle and josh is busy with a dog so Emily is free. Things still don’t go well: Emily still won’t focus and is on her phone constantly, and emilys defense of “well you were on your phone at your wedding” when BRidgette calls her on it falls flat in a nice moment when bridgette points out she’s divorced. It’s also a nice moment of self relfeciton that shows Bridgette has learned from “Robot Tutor” and accepted her part in her marriage falling apart. The two fight until an angel appearls: Weird Al Yankovic! Like I hoped it really is him! Not that it’s HARD to get him to do voice work, he’s done quite a bit and he’s always happy to pitch in for another comedian, as Red Letter Media recently pointed out he’s kind of the bridge to all eras of comedies as he never really went away. When the two ask which is better: using your family or shutting it out, he admits there’s no perfect way to write a song or no one right way you just do your best.. and in his case stab yourself iwth a narwhal tusk and pray to a demonci god. Then one of the crazy lady’s animals attacks, we get another trailer homage and as they approach our herooines both apologize, Emily admitting Bridg is like her sister and in a funny but still sweet moment BRidgette admits she’s like a half sister... and only dosen’t say the full sister because she has a sister and dosen’t throw that around lightly, but the sentiments the smae. But the animals are recalled to deal with Josh and Alex, so while Emily and Bridgette follow them we get our climax.  Alex and Josh naturally crumble under hteir new foes, but both , like their spouse and ex spouse, reconnect over their mutual love of dog boy and apologize for their behavior to one another, sharing one last dumb and dumber most annoying sound in the world.. which ends up being the key to defeating the animals with Pearle soon swooping in to arrest dog boy’s creator.. for unpaid parking tickcet,s a good gag. She’s in jail, Dog Boy is free and the whole madness and talking dog has given Bridgette and Emily a new song. Our friends are all best pals again, Dog Boy spends time with bost his best friends before nleaving to start his own theater and work on his acting career, so he could show up again and I really hope he does. That last part was revealed via a hilarious where are they now that shows where all the animals oepn up and we close, hopefuly not on the series but on this day Final THoughts; This was a really good one. While admitelly havn’t not watched any pf the classic jim carrey films in years, though I own dumb and dumber I just haven’t gotten around to rewatching it, it was a nice throughline and the kind of specific nostaliga this show is great at. It was also nice to see a conflict where alex is being througly resonable to start and shows that beneath his nutty exterior (he also assumes the scinetests plan is at first to make furries even sexier (his note, add more nips)) is a guy who like his friends has a dream. We see the same with Bridgette who most of the time is’nt on give a fuck mode but here we see there is something besides her friends and ex husband she cares about: her music. It’’s a nice roll reversal to see BRIDGETTE, be the one to take something seriously and Emily to be the one who can’t commit to it and it takes compromise and both realizing they need each other to work. IT’s a nice examination of the shows core freindships that also has a wonderful talking dog and of course weird fucking al being amazing as allways. A stellar close out to this swarm of episodes and hopefully not hte series.  I”ll give my thoughts on the season as a whole later if this turns out to be the season and in a few weeks if not, but for now I finsihed this matharthon and i’m glad: Close enough is a damn good show that while having some more eh episodes, has a good strong emotional core, a great cast, great humor and is creative as hell while improving on the genre and even it’s predecessor. Just a delight to watch. I have regular coverage of Amphibia and Owl House coming up saturday, and hopefully close enough will continue each week, but if not until we meet agian later days. I’m going to go lie down. WOO. 

[popculturebuffet]

Close Enough: So Long Boys And Clap Like This

ON this hour’s episodes: Josh decides to have a vasectomy after a pregnancy scare and soons end up dealing with second thoughts and bostonian robots while Alex regrets getting his after meeting what are maybe his children. Then Josh finally sells a game but it falls through and takes up extra jobs to avoid telling his family while Bridgette is forced to get a real job on her birthday and Alex enjoys inudstrial humis. Clap Like This under the cut. 

So Long Boys

Aka the greatest vacesctomy based comedy episode since Brooklyn Nine Nine’s “Choclate Milk”. If you don’t know the show or don’t remember that episode if you are a fellow 99er it’s the one where Jake thinks his superior officer and friend Terry getting a vasectomy means chopping his penis off. I mean it starts off just assuming he’s making a joke but it becomes blurry if he’s just making quips or genuinely thinks that’s how it works. It’s also easy to compare these two because they both, while vastly diffrent and great episodes in their own rights: have a simlilar beat to the plot: a character trying to get a vasectomy for responsible reasons but being unsure they don’t wnat more kids. It’s just Brooklyn Nine Nine is more also about Jake being hurt Terry dosen’t think of him as a friend, a position he reverses while Close Enough has indentured pop and lock teenagers, a dark ride dedicated to scaring people out of kids and bostionan robots that sound like JFK from Clone HIgh. How does any of this fit together, let’s take a look. 

So we open with Josh and Emily having a huge pregnancy scare, which was caused by the birthday sex from the pitch trailer aka Josh trying to pass it off as “we’re just doing our taxes sweetie!”. In other words the main bit I wanted to see transfered to the show proper. And while there’s a few joke this scene is mostly played for drama.. it’s not out of tone with the rest of the show. What really has made this show work for me is it combines regular show antics, but with the added maturity of having an older cast dealing with growing up. A bunch of 30 somethings to start instead of a bunch of 20 somethings so instead of dealing with stuff like video game competitionts, guys nights, and dating woes, it’s more dealing with juggling family and friends, having a job you hate and trying to ballance your career with your passion.  And here is no diffrent: Josh and Emily HAVE no money, live in a cramped apartment with their best friends and a newly divorced couple which as we’ve seen isn’t always easy, and work jobs htey utterly hate and would have to double down on, snuffing out their real dreams, in order to support this kid. Josh outright says he’ll get a second job and give up his video game development which wihle it’d probably be miserable for him would be a sad neciscity. I myself do this blog on the side while trying desperatley to get an actual paying job, it sucks and their situation is compounded by having a kid on top of it who needs their support and attention. It’s stressful enough without adding a second child. Thankfully it’s a false alarm.  However Josh, in a show of responsibility decided to do something about it and get a vasectomy. Still being josh though, his getting one also involves a massive and hilarious vasectomy party, where a bunch of people we never met, and alex and bridgette obviously play party games involving pinning sisssors on testies and theires even a breakdancing sperm. Emily and Pearle’s reactions are gold to this: Emily, before the opening, tells Josh he’s not allowed to plan parties anymore, understandable while Pearle genuinely didn’t belivie they were dumb enough to have a vasectomy party and gives out an understandable “Damn you white people” when she’s proven wrong. Alex also gets set up for his subplot in the episode mentioning he got his a year ago, which given his and Bridgette’s relationship was probably falling apart around then was a good call. I do however like this: Something big happend and Josh is taking responsibility for it, while still being josh about it, but it shows how unlike a lot of idiot heroes in adult cartoons,he’s still a genuinely nice guy who tries to do what’s right, and has more than one brain cell. he has two thank you. So Alex drives josh to get a vasectomy, while Randy presumibly watches Candace as we only see her at the start (Peale was watching her during hte party to help keep her in the dark for now) and finish of the episode. Meanwhile Emily, Bridgette and Pearle have a small B plot having brunch mamosas and boxing up candace’s baby stuff. We also find out for 100% sure our heroines nationatlities: Bridgette is japanese while Emily is Mexican. Mostly because Bridgette always saw Emily with a bigger family and only half for racist reasons that get her handcuffed to a pipe by a drunken Pearle. This show really needs more of Pearle asa every time she shows up she’s a fucking delight and if the show hopefully returns for season 2 I could easily see her getting more screentime. Emily ends up in tears and realizing she may want more kids, which is.. resonable. Their only 32. While it’s resonable to want or have any amount of kids, except like 20 like that one tlc show... I never watched it but when the only two things you hear about a show you don’t watch is the weird, archacic dating setup they have that feels like it produces a good marriage as much as Charlie Sheen did, and that the mother won’t stop having kids despite it nearly killing her  multiple times and having you know 20, you kinda don’t want to watch it.  Anyway it’s resonable to want a family of any size you want, Emily realises she’s not sure she wants to stop at 1 just yet.  Meanwhile in the A-Plot Josh has come to the same conclusion after finding out that not only is this version of a vasectomy he’s getting permentant, mostly due to ball scorching done by robots, but after a hilarious but deeplly insulting carnival ride in the clinic that’s supposed to Scare josh out of having kids and features two teenagers fighting and pop and locking, a goblin and a wall just saying why why why why, impilng kids ruin your sleep, your romantic lives and are terrible. Josh however understandably takes offense to this, and seeing a brother and sister.. only make him not want to deprive candace of possibly having a sister oneday. Again while he and Emily are in no way in position for a second kid now.. they have time and Josh could easily sell a game at some point: he almost does in the next episode. ONe of Emily and Bridgette’s songs could go viral. Or Josh could end up finding a much better day job or Emily could get a promtion at hers. While not wanting to have a second child while they can’t support one is the right move, Josh realizes not wanting ot have one at all, at least in their spectfic case, was an overreaction to a scary situation.  Josh decides to think more, despite the doctor offring up some pubic scaping for extra, and he and Alex end up finding the Teens from the ride.. who are in fact real kids who look an AWFUL lot and act an awfl lot like alex and are basically indentured to the doctor,who treats them like crap and has them undder contract to pop and lock for him and look at his new pubic hair designs (”Those nights are the hardest”). Josh decides not to go through with it but the bostioan robots who do the procedure refuse to let that happen and leave Josh, Alex and the Twins on the run, while Alex himself reconsiders parenthood as he’s now proud of what he thinks are his kids. As the four are cornered it turns out the doctor is also a prisoner.. but an unsympathetic one since he can A) go home and B) is willingly collaberating with obnoxious robots to do a dangerous verison of a serious procedure to save his own ass and is karmically atomized. When Alex brings up his thinking the kids are his, they sadly explain he isn’t: Their dad’s a republican senator (Tot hteir shame the girl, who I almost forgot to mention is voiced by the wonder Kate MIccui, in her second role in a JG Quintel show. HOpefully if there’s a season 2 or the show stars having arcs they can find a full role for her on the show. ) and Alex finds his sperm he donated ended up in a dumpster.. but is determined to protect the kids anyway. Thankfully our heroes are able to escape with Emily, who sneaks ina fter the robots locked down the faicility’s help, with Josh bummed because he was proud for being responsible as the two discuss still wanting to have kids, with Emily pointing out .. this is STILL responsible. Not going through with something you have doubts about and having an honest talk with your partner is the responsbe thing> The five of them escape, and while Alex knows he’s not the teens father, offers to be there for them if they ever need it.  Wrapping things up at a skating rink, The Ramierz’ skate and Josh and Emily plan to do their taxes again later, though likely with a rubber this time, and Alex got his vasectomy reverse and is really weird about it to Bridgette’s annoyance. Also 20,000 years into the future subhuman cavemen versions of hismelf are the dominatne lifeform Neat. Overall this ep was really good, having great character stuff for Josh Emily and Alex, while still having some good bits for the rest of the main cast minus randy who I feel the show honestly forgets exists half the time, with drunk Pearle being a delight. But it’s the emotional core for both sides: Josh and Emily hastily deciding to not have more kids before wondering if they want to keep the option open while Alex realisses he might want to be a dad himself and his bond with waht he thinks are his kids and protectivness of them is really sweet. It’s also not lacking in great jokes; The entire rollercoaster of “DON’T HAVE KIDS” is just black comedy gold from start to finsih including the green goblin for some reaosn, the boston robots and vasectomy doctor are great vilians and overall the episode is just really good and really mature for an episode that also makes plenty of testicle scaping jokes. You can do both. 

Clap Like This

And continuing the trend from the last few episodes, we have the weaker one (though Golden Gamer was still pretty damn good), second this time around, though like Golden Gamer it’s still decent.  The plot is a bit simplier and starts with Josh FINALLY selling a game to two idiot tech billionares, Clap LIke This, a game about clapping along that actually seems really damn fun and I wish were real like Ladder World.  While Emily enjoys being able to spend money and her husband finally living his dream or so she thinks, Bridgette, who we find out has been on an allowance from her parents, is cut off on her birthday and has to get a job at a forever 23, one of the few times this show has used an offbrand and not nearlya s awesome a name as “Plugger Inners” it feels lazier if only because again, Plugger Inners exists. But as was revealed earlier, the two guys who bought it went broke and the deal feell through but josh, feeling terrrible about them not being able to afford the finer things anymore, hides it from his family and takes as many shifts as possible at plugger inners. He also runs into David Hasslehoff doing his best mitch von malibu as he just.. throws more money at josh to do what his son asks. Or nephew or whatever. I went back and redited this after finding out that really was him and supposed to be him. I’m also calling his annoying son Hobie for reasons that will be come clear if you’ve ever watched allison pregler’s baywatching series but it’s always fun to see the hoff in something. Especailly the time he made this really embarassing music video. 

But alass the 200 dollars Hoff made off “jump in my car”  that he gave josh isn’t enough and with him having taken all the insltation jobs josh is forced to turn to black market insltations including one where he installs a tv while jaws eats a guy.. I genuinely wish they’d used this song.