#I am also a big fan of tag ramblers. love y’all (I do it a lot)

[oliveish]

Trudging along no matter how much tries to take me down.

Hello im Vesper/Specter or Liv and you can use whatever you think suits me.

Xenofiction and Warriors cats side blog is @anhingaheart

[holdmetightordont-2]

hi :0

i have 300 pages to read, and yet here i am, remaking my tumblr. yep.

hi, my name’s ray. i’m 23 and i started my first year of grad school two weeks ago. i already want to die. 

i’m not sure if this’ll be more of a personal or fandom blog yet. we’ll see. it might be a combination of things. i’m not bothered about followers or anything like that, so there’s no real incentive for me to make this blog known for a certain entity. i do want this blog to be somewhat organized though, so i’ll make sure i tag everything. ya’ll can blacklist any tags you don’t want to see.

i suppose the purpose of this post is to introduce myself, and sort of...blog about my first few weeks of grad school.

i’m tempted to reveal every single aspect of my life, as i do on my personal twitter account. i’ll try to be as appropriate as i can, in case someone irl finds me. i do think i’ll be somewhat recognizable, based on my research and interests, but that’s alright.

based on my username, you could guess that i am/was a big fan of fall out boy. i still listen to their music, but less so these days. about a year ago, i rewatched inception, one of my favorite movies in high school, for the fist time in years. after 8 years, i became obsessed and was pleasantly surprised to see that the fic comm is still around, churning out arthur/eames fics. it’s fantastic. i uh...love inception so much that i...did this...

i had it finished right before i moved for grad school. i’m pretty pleased with it :)

originally, i planned out a somewhat large-scale tattoo with my tattoo artist -- i wanted matching tattoos on my ribs of a rose garden, firstly because they’re one of my favorite flowers, and it would symbolize beast/highlight, the first kpop band i ever loved. then...in march, all that shit came out about junhyung -- who is a piece of shit, by the way, and i no longer really interact with fandom because of all the people who still support him -- so that obviously was called out. tbh, i’m so glad that all was revealed in march, bc i was supposed to get it in may. i would have really considered a cover up if i had gotten it before he was called out, tbh.

anyway! after i got the first half of the inception tattoo, i went to study khmer for the summer out of state. it was...an interesting summer, partly because of the teachers. khmer was h a r d. i hated the state i was in. i actually applied to go that school for my MA and i’m glad i made the decision not to go back in april.

after that, i returned home for a bit, finished off the tattoo, and promptly moved to...paradise. i’m trying to be vague here, but you can probably guess where i moved. it’s just beautiful here. the culture is so rich. i’m surrounded by such good food. i’m very excited about the classes i’m taking, the people in my program (anthropology) are so nice. i’m so so so so excited for my research.

but i’m lonely. i’ve made a few friends, but i feel kind of excluded from the group that formed in my cohort. i can tell that they hang out more together, and haven’t really invited me (though i haven’t sought them out either). i’m just kinda bummed about that. but it’s okay, i’ll make friends. 

i’m also suffering from health issues...i’ve had a hives viral infection for the past two weeks. it’s been fucking hell. nothing really helps except for the steroid i’ve taken the past few days. it just really fucking sucks. i’m itchy all the time, especially at night. in fact, i’m itchy right now, and i’m kind of glad i’m doing the all-nighter since i can’t go to sleep with this anyway. i hope this doesn’t last too much longer.

i fucked up real bad, y’all. i still have that 300 pages to read and weeks worth of khmer to do. my macbook actually broke yesterday, but thankfully i have my old one with me. it’s not a good excuse, really. i’ve been lazy. i hope i can better manage my time this upcoming week. maybe limit all-nighters to once every two weeks, or even better, once a month? that’d be nice.

on another note, i’ve been trying to cook more recently since a bunch of my kitchen supplies finally came in. i made a japanese curry with potatoes, carrots, and kabocha yesteday and it’s pretty good!! i wish i’d gotten a spicier roux though. it’s kind of a miracle that i like it so much, because i almost never eat vegetables. i guess the trick is to simmer the veggies until they’re super soft and absorb all the flavors. 

i also found recipes for a turmeric pad thai, “golden” (turmeric) broth noodles, and egg kimbaps that i’m excited to try!! there’s a small japanese grocery store that’s in walking distance from my dorm, but it doesn’t have all the ingredients i need. i also still need to order a mini fridge. but it’s been working out so far!! also want to make carne asada burritos!! i want to make 3 for this week and have the other 3 frozen so i can sorta meal prep throughout the month. i bought a meat thermometo and i’m just. so excited. because i have never made proper steak before, like the kind that’s rare or medium rare? it’ll be great.

okay, i think this is a good place to stop. it’s nice writing about everything here, cohesively. i’m a bit of a rambler on twitter (not that i’m not here, clearly), but i like that i have all my thoughts in a single place, even if there’s no one to read it. 

wish me luck on my readings! -ray