#I am grateful for my partner and their godparents because without them I don’t know what I would’ve done | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

voiceshearingyouloud · 1 year

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It makes me so happy that despite the fact that literally any other reminder of my life at the beginning of 2022 makes me feel like I’m back there in hell, but the playlist of songs my partner made for me that I listened to every single day has never made me feel anything but safe. My PTSD is so bad that even walking down the street and seeing the light of a streetlamp a certain way will trigger a flashback, but these songs are still comforting even though they are so attached to that time of my life for me.

#I am so emotional today because I realise that as much as I like to think my ptsd is way better now #so much better that I don’t even feel it when I’m around my mum #it actually really messes with me to be home even if I’m not actively having a flashback all the time anymore #a lot of stuff happened and I’m just really shaken from how many feelings I’ve had #I genuinely can’t believe I’m still alive sometimes like I was in just so much pain for that whole year and I don’t know how I managed to #survive #a lot of listening to this playlist and the sunset tree I guess #I am grateful for my partner and their godparents because without them I don’t know what I would’ve done #their godparents know about my family and they offered to have me over even when my partner is away :( it made me cry a lot #anyway I think I’m also sad I can’t text my s/o at night anymore because they’re the one who goes to sleep early time zone wise now #it sucks :/ but I’ll be fine. only like 37 days now I think til they’re back #makes me realise how lucky we are to be able to watch Buffy and talk so many times a week even when we’re apart usually #and call for like two hours every week lol #bad wifi and us both being busy sucks so hard #g-d I love them so bad lol #anne speaks

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