#it sucks :/ but I’ll be fine. only like 37 days now I think til they’re back

[voiceshearingyouloud]

It makes me so happy that despite the fact that literally any other reminder of my life at the beginning of 2022 makes me feel like I’m back there in hell, but the playlist of songs my partner made for me that I listened to every single day has never made me feel anything but safe. My PTSD is so bad that even walking down the street and seeing the light of a streetlamp a certain way will trigger a flashback, but these songs are still comforting even though they are so attached to that time of my life for me.

[pumpkinspicejackotaco-blog]

In Your Arms Again// TRR oneshot

HELLO. MY NAME IS PUMPKINSPICEJACKOTACO BUT YOU CAN CALL ME ASSHOLE. THIS IS MY FIRST EVER FAN FICTION TO BE WRITTEN ON TUMBLR. I HAVE A WATTPAD TOO BUT I DON'T USE IT AS MUCH ANYMORE. ANYWAYS. THIS IS ABOUT MY MC (Lily Josephine Brooks) WHO HAS BEEN AWAY IN IRAQ AND DIDN'T TELL LIAM AND SHE COMES BACK AND YADAYADAYADA. ENJOYYYYYYYY

××××××××××××××storystartshere××××××××××

Lily stepped off the plane at Fort Bragg Air Force base and ran a tanned hand over her chestnut hair. The terminal was awash with people, families holding signs for their loved ones but like every tour, Lily was alone. After grabbing a crappy coffee from one of the machines, she turned on her phone to find 3 missed calls; one from Maxwell, one from Hana and one from Drake.

With a tired sigh she opened the messaging app and texted Maxwell;

FROM- Lil Blossom 🌸🌸🌸 TO- Max the Dancing Unicorn 🦄🦄🦄

🌸 heyy it's me. Just landed, flight leaves from Raleigh-Durham at 1438. I should land around noon your time.

🦄 SWEEEEEET. CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU BOO! I'LL GET YOUR ROOM PREPPED AT RAMSFORD ASAP.

🌸 thanks dude. Can we have pizza?

🦄 anything for my little blossom.

🌸 great. Gotta go. Love youuu

🦄 love you too baby sis

Lily looked up to find her "mother", Lynette peeping over her shoulder.

"Going back to Cordonia?" She grinned.

"Where else? Liam and Madeleine are over and my name is a cleared." Lily grinned back, showing her ever so slightly twisted canines. Her smile wasn't perfect as she had grown up in an orphanage but everyone she met found it adorable.

" Are you forgetting you never told him?" Lynette quizzed, sounding sceptical.

"Hana told him I needed space and that I was staying with family. Both of which are true." She shrugged.

"Fair enough. Do you wanna grab some food? We have five hours til you need to be at the airport and Tom and the kids won't get here for another 90 minutes." Lynette said, hugging Lily.

"Let's do it. McDonalds or Starbucks?"

×××××LeTimeSkipApprox2HoursLater×××××

Lily and Lynette sat on a bench in a local park, watching Lynette's two, four year old sons; Harry and Milo play tag. They were still in their uniforms as neither had brought appropriate civvies with them, it was calm, peaceful almost and the fall sun shone through the fiery red branches.

"Makes the distance worth it right? Seeing them play without worrying about terrorists and bombs tryna blow them up." Lily stated, smiling softly at the two ginger boys.

"Certainly does." Lynette nodded.

First Sergeant Lynette Danvers was a tall, willowy woman of 37 with short blonde corkscrew curls and deep blue eyes that were intelligent. She had joined the Army at age 20 after doing two years in community college studying art. Her husband, Tom was an architect of 40 and stood at around six foot. He had met Lynette when she was 23 at a bar in New Orleans during mardi gras and it had been love at first sight. Their relationship had never been easy, as Lynette had devoted her time to the Army. Two years later, he had proposed in Miami and they had married a year later in Lynette's home town of St.Pauls a year later. Three years later, Lynette would meet the scared 18 year old Lily Josephine Brooks on the runway at Camp Bastian.

They had bonded instantly, Lily and Lynette, both had had troubled childhoods and Lily felt soothed by Lynette's prescence. They bonded even more after the death of Harry Rourke, a close friend and once more when Lynette invited Lily back to St Pauls for Christmas with her and Tom. Since then, they'd been inseparable.

Tom walked over, holding paper cups of hot chocolate and smiled fondly at them.

"I barely see you these days Lil." He said.

"You know I'm only a phone call away Tom." Lily grinned.

"Still."

"I can't believe how big the boys are now." She shook her head.

"I can't believe they have more stamina than a platoon of trained soldiers." Lynette scoffed.

"Hey!" Lily gasped.

Tom chuckled and shook his head. "That'll be you in a few years."

"Yeah I hope so. But if the people hate me then there's no point. Liam needs to do what's best for Cordonia." She sighed.

"Your happiness matters too you know." Lynette soothed.

"Well if it doesn't work out then I'm going on another bajillion tours. They're easier to deal with than a bunch of angry Cordonians."

"You'll be fine. Just think. In like 23 hours you'll be back there with your friends." Tom smiled.

Lily chuckled. "Oh yes."

××××××3×hours×later××××××××RDU×××××××

Lily said her goodbyes to her friends and walked through the security gate, excited to be starting a new chapter in her life.

16 hours later, Lily touched down at Kenna International Airport, just outside of Cordonia's capital, Stormholt. She was still in her uniform which made matters awkward when she was greeted by a bunch of photographers.

"Lady Lily, where have you been?"

"Lady Lily, are you happy your name is cleared?"

"I'll release an official statement later, but you'll have to excuse me for a moment. I've not slept in 4 days and I'm running off of coffee and protein bars. Thank you for your time." She rushed, spotting Bertrand and Maxwell outside waiting for her next to a black range rover. She climbed into the passenger seat and Maxwell pulled away from the screaming paparazzi.

Meanwhile in the palace, King Liam sat in a living room, drinking tea with Regina and his father, the news was on in the background. They were sat discussing Leo's most recent antics when Regina froze, picked up the remote and turned the volume up on the television.

"This just in, Lady Lily Brooks or should we say, Sergeant Lily Brooks is back in Cordonia. The woman, who was a victim of a major press scandal back in December was seen walking through Kenna International wearing full US Army uniform and carrying a rucksack. When confronted by the press, she issued this statement.;"

The screen flashed to Lily walking through the airport with bags under her eyes and her cheeks looking noticeably slimmer, her cap was on her head and a few sneaky strands had slipped out from her bun. Liam gasped.

Lily had obviously lost weight and there was a visible healing cut above her left eye. She looked so tiny and warrior like in her uniform which was dusty and wrinkled from travel, yet he had never seen a more beautiful sight in his life.

"I'll release an official statement later, but you'll have to excuse me for a moment. I've not slept in 4 days and I'm running off of coffee and protein bars. Thank you for your time." Her voice. Oh her voice! It was like a choir of angels to his ears.

He lunged for his phone and texted Maxwell.

FROM- Kingy King Liam 😉 to Maxwell Beaumont 🦄

😉 is Lily with you?

🦄 yaaaaaa but she's drivin ATM. Can I pass a message on?

😉 don't you have Bluetooth?

🦄 ohh yeah. Btw why don't you text her yoself?

😉 she blocked my number after the first 100 calls...

🦄 AHAHAHAHAHAHA

😉 it's not funny Maxwell!!!

🦄 IT LIKE TOTEZ IS

😉 let me speak to her

🦄 one sec imma askkkkk

🦄 yeah iss kewl

Regina and Constantine looked on at the anxious king who held his phone to his ear.

"Lily?" He began, putting her on speaker.

"Hey you." She said softly, while tears streamed down Liam's cheeks.

He took a deep breath. "How are you?" He asked, running a hand through his already tousled hair.

"Fine. Not slept in four days but apart from that life's good." She said clearly.

"Why the blazes are you driving then!? You could crash!" Came the voice of Bertrand.

"Calm your ass Bert. I'm fine." Lily sassed back at him.

Regina flinched at the use of Lily's choice of words.

"Don't call me Bert." Threatened Bertrand.

"Or what? You gonna spit out your tea and challenge me to a duel?"

Maxwell snorted in the background while Constantine chuckled.

Liam sat there frozen as the bickering continued, along with the odd curse from Lily at idiotic drivers.

Bertrand cleared his throat. "Perhaps, your majesty and the dowager king and queen would care to join us at Ramsford for a few days."

"If that is an invitation Duke Ramsford then we would be delighted to accept." Liam said professionally.

"MAX YOU ASSHOLE I'M TRYING NOT TO CRASH YOUR GODDAMN CAR!" Lily screamed.

Regina looked as if she was about to faint.

"THAT IS ENOUGH YOU TWO! Your majesty, I am terribly sorry, they will be SEVERELY reprimanded upon return to the Estate." Bertrand blabbered.

"Ooh kinky." Maxwell snorted.

The sounds of Lily's delightful laughter echoed in the room, before Bertrand ended the call.

ANOTHER DUCKING TIME SKIP BECAUSE I SUCK ASS. THIS TIME IT'S THREE DAYS. LILY HAS SPENT HER TIME SLEEPING AND TALKING WITH A PSYCHOLOGIST.

Liam thrust open the door of the SUV he had been travelling in, exiting before Bastien had even gotten the chance to scan the perimeter. He was dressed in his regular suit, hair perfectly styled. But to him, looks didn't matter. What mattered was the 5,2 woman that stood on the front steps of the elegant manor.

Lily, to him, was breathtaking. Half of her hair was pulled back from her face in a loose bun, the rest curling down her back like a river of autumn that shone brightly in the early morning light. Her eyes, a shade of blue that rivalled the waters of Portavira locked with his own and he couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face. The corner of her nude lips rose, just a little. But enough for him to catch his breath. She wore a navy blue shirt dress and a grey cashmere cardigan with black tights and light brown ankle boots.

She stood with Maxwell and her precious corgi, Pumpkin who dozed at her feet.

Bertrand stepped forward after Regina and Constantine had gotten out and welcomed them politely before gesturing for Lily and Max to follow.

Liam was done waiting. He rushed forward and caught her in his arms, spinning her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and giggled.

"Oh god. Oh god." He murmured.

"I'm so sorry." She sobbed.

"No. It's fine. I'm glad you're safe but this can't wait."

"What can't?" She asked.

"Lily Josephine Brooks. I have loved you since day one and I will be damned if I cannot see your face every day for the rest of my life." He began, looking at his father who gave him a nod.

He got down on one knee and produced the ring from his pocket.

"Will you do me the honour of being my wife and being the queen of Cordonia?" He asked, tears pooling in his eyes.

She nodded. "Yes. Yes. A THOUSAND TIMES YES!" She yelled the last part and he slid the ring on her finger before picking her up again, the world disappearing. As it always did when they were together.

[underabr0kensky]

BIGGEST GODDAMN SURVEY EVER HOLY SHIT

1- How are you? Content I suppose.

2- Post a picture of yourself. I did yesterday you fuck, go look.

3- Do you ever wish you were someone else? Nah, I’d probably still be messed up as anyone else.

4- What is your entire name? Conner Wade Garcia.

5- How old are you? 24.

6- Age you get mistaken for: I’ve been mistaken for like 19.

7- Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality: Libra, and yeah, the stuff I see is usually fairly accurate.

8- What did you do on your last birthday? Worked, and then slept.

9- What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday? Uhh...maybe quit drinking?

10- What is your hair color? Dark brown.

11- Have you ever dyed your hair? I had a rat tail when I was like 12 that I dyed blonde.

12- What is your eye color? Hazel, sometimes gray.

13- If you could change your eye color, would you? I’d make them perma-gray.

14- Do you wear contacts/glasses? Yep, I’m fucking blind without my contacts.

15- Your opinion about your body and how confortable you are with it: Meh. It needs work. Fucking pudgy belly.

16- Have you ever considered plastic surgery? What would you alter about your body? Nope.

17- Say 8 facts about your body: That’s a lot, so I’ll say one: I have two scars on my right hand in almost the same place.

18- Do you have any tattoos? Not yet.

19- Do you have any piercings? Nope.

20- Left or right handed? I am a righty, not a subhuman Morlock freak witch person.

21- What’s your sexual orientation? Straight.

22- Do you drink? Yeah, more than I should.

23- Do you smoke? No.

24- Do you have any pets? I wish. I want a kitteh.

25- Where do you work? I don’t right now. I worked at Walmart til like a month ago.

26- Something you are working on right now: Cutting back on my drinking.

27- Do you have any “rules” about food? Nah, but there are some foods I just can’t stand.

28- Where are you from? Tennessee. Ew.

29- What would you say is your best quality? Uhh. I’m good at listening.

30- What do you think you’re really good at? Guitar.

31- What do you think you’re really bad at? Staying sober.

32- What talent do you wish you’d been born with? I’d be happy with not having been born with depression.

33- Are you a bad person? Well I mean I think I kind of suck, but everyone says I’m awesome.

34- Are you nice to everyone? I try to be.

35- Say 3 facts about your personality: I have a temper, I like to listen, and I doubt myself a lot.

36- Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? Yeah lol.

37- What is your ideal bed? Why? A king bed with a curtain around it, because fuck anyone staring at me sleeping. Unless it’s my girlfriend.

38- Did you wake up cranky? Depends on how early I get up.

39- Do you sleep with a stuffed toy? Sometimes.

40- What do you think about the most? My mind is too all over the place for that.

41- Share 2 habits: Drinking and nail-biting.

42- What you want to be when you “get older”? Financially stable bruh.

43- What are your career goals? To not live paycheck to paycheck. And maybe to not hate my job.

44- What is your ideal career? Musician.

45- Is your life anything like it was two years ago? Fucking fuck no.

46- Do you replay things that have happened in your head? Oh yeah, that’s like 98% of my day.

47- Have you ever had an imaginary friend? Yeah, I have.

48- Say 10 facts about your room: I’m not gonna listen ten, but I have a bunch of band/music posters, there’s an electric drum kit in the corner, there are lots of dragon statues, there’s an Arcueid figure (Tsukihime for anyone who gets that), uhh...Borderlands 2 is paused on my TV right now. And there are many guitars.

49- Do you have any phobias? Spiders, needles, and fucking tornadoes.

50- Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Yeah, both of them. The therapist stopped practicing which sucked and the psychiatrist was a Godfagging quack.

51- Are you allergic to anything? If so, what? Pollen, rabbits, pork, artificial green apple, cat dandruff, and goldenrod. And amoxicillin.

52- Ever broken any bones? Nope, and I have no idea how.

53- Ever come close to death? Yeah, a couple of times.

54- Things you like and dislike about yourself: Uhh. I like my looks for the most part and my musical talent. Hate pretty much everything else lol.

55- A random fact about yourself: I can curl my tongue. Helps me play the harmonica.

56- What are three things most people don’t know about you? I’ve kissed a guy before, I cry a lot for a guy (or for a person, probably), and I like anime a lot. Specifically stupid slice of life shit and shonen.

57- An unknown fact about your life: Uhh. My stupid fucking taskbar can’t be right clicked. I hate Windows 10.

58- Share something about yourself others might think is weird: I like being choked and slapped in bed.

59- Five weird things that you like: Fried calimari, pineapple on pizza, Wendy’s fries dipped in their chocolate shake (thanks Jess), classical music, and getting drunk outside.

60- Do you have a facebook? If so, would you add the person who sent you this? Yes. And nobody sent me this, I just fill these out as surveys because nobody fucking responds if I just reblog it.

61- Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? Yeah, but they’re not recent. I’m not really active on there anymore.

62- Describe yourself in one word/sentence: Fucked up.

63- A quote you try to live by: “I choose to live rather than just exist” comes the closest, but I’m doing a terrible job of that lol.

64- Leave me a compliment: Uhh. Anyone who reads this, you’re pretty.

Favorites

65- What is your favorite thing to do? Play guitar or listen to music. Or, lately, play Borderlands 2. The DLC is poppin’, yo.

66- What’s your favorite color? Black.

67- What’s your favorite band/singer? Favorite band is Children of Bodom. Favorite singers are James Hetfield, Marc Hudson, Howard Jones, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Elvis Presley, Anders Fridén, Matt Heafy, Warrel Dane, Amy Lee, probably others I’ve forgotten.

68- What’s your favorite movie? That’s hard. Goodfellas, the Godfather Part I and II, 300, both Avengers movies, Captain America: Civil War, Titanic, Hesher, and Good Will Hunting are some of my favorites.

69- What are your favorite books? The Wheel of Time series, Bag of Bones, the Harry Potter series, The Way of Kings, Words of Radiance, Penpal, Shout!: The Beatles in Their Generation, A Painted House, Jurassic Park, Black Lightning, shit I have a lot more.

70- What is your favorite quote and why? The above quote, because it represents what I wish I could actually do. But ya know. Money.

71- What is your favorite word? Fuck.

72- What is your least favorite word? Money.

73- What is your favorite type of food? Italian food motherfucker. Specifically lasagna.

74- Your favorite ice cream? Heath bar.

75- What’s your favorite animal? KITTEH.

76- Dogs or cats? KITTEHS.

77- Describe your favourite texture: Uhh. Those really soft silky-feeling blankets.

78- What is your favorite flower? A BLACK ROSE EHHHH SO EDGY. Probably daffodils.

79- What’s your favourite scent? And on the opposite sex? The smell right before or after it rains. And on the opposite sex, whatever perfume they like.

80- What is your favorite season? Spring.

81- What are the top five places you wish you could go before you die? Venice, Berlin, Scotland, Norway, and that weird island with the dragon fruit and flat freaky trees that I’ve forgotten the name of and am too lazy to Google.

82- What are four things you can’t live without and why? Internet, phone, music, and cute animals. Because they keep me from fucking murdering myself.

83- Which mythological creature are you most like? Why? I have no idea but I’m gonna take a quiz right now, brb. Apparently I’m a goddamn unicorn, fuck.

84- What’s your favorite television show? House M.D.

85- Favorite place to shop at? Walmart. Fuck shopping bruh.

86- Say 2 facts about your favorite things: Uhh. One has strings and one lives in Germany.

Family, childhood and places

87- Say 4 facts about your parents: My dad is Spanish, my mom has depression, they divorced when I was like 11, and my dad is a medical professional.

88- Are you more like your mom or your dad? I think I’m like. Exactly equal to both of them. It’s frustrating.

89- Do you have any siblings? An older half brother, two younger step siblings, and two younger half brothers.

90- Say 9 facts about your family: That’s too many facts, die. My family is really big though and my dad’s side can speak Spanish.

91- What’s your relationship like with your family? Meh. Not great with my dad, my mom and I are fine though.

92- Say 7 facts about your childhood: There was a lot of stress and emotional abuse and shit. But it was also a better childhood than most people I think.

93- The best and the worst childhood memories: one of my favorites was when I got a PS1 for my birthday. Worst, I have no idea. Whenever my parents fought, which was a lot.

94- Say 6 facts about your home town: It’s tiny, it’s full of rednecks with fucking F10000 penis substitutes, it has a pretty chill as county fair. I know that’s only 4, fuck off.

95- Are you going out of town soon? Nah, I doubt it.

96- Where would you like to live? If I had to stay in America, California. If I could leave, I dunno, probably Norway or Sweden. Somewhere in Europe definitely.

97- What would your dream house be like? Victorian style please.

98- Where would you go on your dream vacation? Italy. I’d get banned from the country for eating all their food.

99- Where you want to be right now? With my girlfriend, or at a beach somewhere.

100- Top three places to visit: Venice, Berlin, Spain.

Friends

101- Would you ever smile at a stranger? Yeah, I do sometimes.

102- Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? Girls. Most of the guys around here act like douches and only ever talk about sports or fucking girls.

103- Who is someone you never tire of? My girlfriend.

104- Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? There are a couple of people.

105- Who is your most loyal friend? Phil.

106- Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? Mhmm. Three people.

107- If your best friend died, what would you do? Get horrendously drunk for days on end and snap at everyone.

108- A reason you’ve lied to a friend: No idea. Probably because I didn’t want to leave my house or something, lol.

109- Have you ever felt replaced? Yeah, sometimes.

110- Say 5 facts about your bestfriend(s): Too many facts. But he is a drummer and he likes roleplaying games.

Relationships

111- The last person you hugged? Not a fucking clue. Sasha I think.

112- Who was your first kiss with? Girl named Jessica. It was in the garden section at Walmart lol.

113- Do you like kissing in public? I fucking love it.

114- Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yeah, plenty of times.

115- You have a preference for boys or girls? Girls pls.

116- Is the male or female body closest to perfection? I don’t think anything or anyone is perfect, but I prefer the female body.

117- Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah.

118- Do you believe in soul mates? Maybe. I didn’t used to but now I kinda do.

119- What is your idea of the perfect date? I don’t really care honestly. Just something cute and romantic.

120- Based on past relationships or crushes, describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend: I like someone who I can talk to and not get bored of, someone who can keep up with my weird thought processes, and someone who doesn’t mind me being a kinky fuck.

121- What is the first thing you noticed in someone? Eyes or face in general, usually. Unless they’re wearing a crazy outfit or something.

122- Are looks important in a relationship? Yeah. They’re not the most important thing but I have to be attracted to someone.

123- What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? There’s not really an external characteristic someone needs to have for me to like them, but I love red hair.

124- What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? No biggie as long as it’s not like a 26 year old dating a 13 year old or something. My ex and I were five years apart.

125- Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? Hahaha. The only two serious relationships I’ve had were on the Internet.

126- Five guys/girls whom you find attractive: The girlfriend, the ex girlfriend, Emma Watson, Olivia Wilde, Mila Kunis.

127- Do you have a crush on anyone? It’s a bit more than a crush.

128- A description of the girl/boy you like: She’s hot as fuck yo. Hotter than you. :D

129- Say 1 fact about the person your like: She has facial piercings and she always loses :P

130- If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? “Can I meet the body I mean person?”

131- When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Whenever I sent the girlfriend the last message lol.

132- Do you think someone has feelings for you? I know she does.

133- Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Probably. Ew.

134- Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? You could say I make a habit of it.

135- Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Who hasn’t?

136- Anyone you’re giving up on? Nah. Probably should be, but nah.

137- Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yup.

138- Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Yeah, the girl I dated throughout high school was kind of a cunt to my friends.

139- Have you ever liked one of your best friends? Yup.

140- Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Mhmm. Scary thought haha.

141- Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yes.

142- Is there someone you will never forget? Absolutely.

143- Say five ways to win your heart: Babble at me in a foreign language, cook me Italian food, introduce me to your cat, leave big ass scratches down my back, or act like a sappy romantic fuck.

144- What turns you on? Slapping, choking, hair pulling, biting, scratching, moaning, hard tongue on tongue kissing, girl on girl. I’m a guy. Eat me.

145- What turns you off? Bitchy people and close-minded bigoted fucks.

146- What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Jerk me while you whisper about fucking a girl into my ear and don’t let me cum until you say so. It has been done to me and it was fucking awesome.

147- What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? Probably when I found out Jess had started a separate bank account and was funneling parts of her paychecks into it to help me financially when I moved up there. Nice job fucking that one up, Conner.

148- What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Honestly I don’t care at this point. Just love me lol.

149- Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? Have you had one written for you? Yes, and no actually.

150- What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? Woke Jess up while she was clearly having a nightmare and held her hand until she calmed down.

151- Are you in love? Yes.

152- Are you in a relationship? Yes.

153- If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? She’s a fucking dork and I love it.

154- Are relationships ever worth it? Yeah, they’re just hard.

155- Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? I don’t think so.

156- Can you commit to one person? Mhmm.

157- Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Yeah, I’ve done it plenty of times lol.

158- Do you ever want to get married? Yes.

159- Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Maybe. Hopefully.

160- Future names of your children: I do not want kids.

161- Do you get jealous easily? Yeah. Not like possessive jealous, but it’s pretty easy to make me jealous.

162- The last time you felt jealous, and why? I have no idea. Probably when my girlfriend hung out with her shit ex lol.

163- What is your definition of cheating? Anything you wouldn’t want your partner finding out about I suppose. I guess anything past hugging/holding hands.

164- Have you ever been cheated on? Yes.

165- Do you forgive betrayal? Eh. I probably would even though I shouldn’t.

166- Have you ever cheated on someone? Not my proudest moment, but yes, I cheated to get back at her for cheating on me. It did not help.

167- Why did your last relationship fail? Because I was an asshole and I fucked it up.

168- Things you want to say to an ex: I am so sorry, it was entirely my fault, you did nothing wrong and I hope you forgive me.

169- A description of the person you dislike the most: Anyone who has dated my girlfriend. :P

170- If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? I would have no idea wtf she’s apologizing for, but yeah of course.

171- How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? Not a clue honestly. A good many, but most of them haven’t been serious.

172- How long was your longest relationship? Almost 5 years.

173- You’ll love me if… You like musicians I guess?

174- Share a relationship story: Lol okay. So when I went to visit Jess, we went out for dinner with her roommate and her roommate’s boyfriend. And they all went to a super Christian private college. We were trying to keep our relationship sort of on the DL because the school was very gossip-y and Jess grew up in a town of like 700 people and her parents were ridiculous about her dating, much less dating a dude five years older that she met online. But anyway. We finished eating and we were all shooting the shit, and when we got up to take the dishes over to the little conveyor belt thing Jess and I kinda play-wrestled and I knocked a plate on her arm. And she was like “Look you made a mess on my hand” and without even thinking I said “Yeah, that’s what I do” without troubling to keep my voice down and winked like a dumbass. And she turned redder than a tomato and her roommate got this “OMFG” look on her face and Jess punched the shit out of my shoulder hahaha. Ahh. Good memories.

Music, movies and books

175- How often do you listen to music? Pretty much whenever I’m not watching a movie or playing a game.

176- What kind of music you like? I am a metalhead but I like everything.

177- Do you like to dance? I like to mosh.

178- What was the first concert/show you attended? Killswitch Engage with Parkway Drive, Escape Plan and Every Time I Die.

179- Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? Yeah.

180- Share a song that takes you to a certain memory in the past: “Hello” by Adele. Shit was always on the pop station that my ex and I listened to in SD.

181- A song that’s been stuck in your head: “Hoshi no Furumachi” by The Fallen Moon.

182- Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play: Oh fuck off, fine. 1. Your Love Kills Me--The Veer Union 2. Everybody’s Trying to Be My Baby--The Beatles 3. Baptism -strings ver.-: Fate/Stay Night OST 4. Bang Bang--Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj 5. What is Eternal--Trans-Siberian Orchestra 6. Big Girls Don’t Cry--Fergie 7. Space Room--Bruce Faulconer 8. The Gun Show--In This Moment 9. Shit Out of Luck--Foamy the Squirrel 10. Blaze Heatnix--Megaman X6 OST

183- A book you want to read/have recently read: I wanna finish reading Bazaar of Bad Dreams.

184- Describe your dream library: Just fucking packed with horror and fantasy and drama books. And biographies.

185- Last movie you just watched: Uhh...Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings.

186- Do you like watching what type of movies? I love horror.

Situations and crazy things

187- You’re in a tattoo parlor about to get inked. What are you getting done? 7-star Dragon Ball on my shoulder.

189- What’s something you can see yourself going to jail for? Pirating too much shit. :P

190- If you could be any character, from any literary work, who would you choose to be? I wouldn’t. Becoming someone else would be shitty.

191- You’re given $10,000…under one condition:you cannot keep the money for yourself. Who would you give it to? My girlfriend probably. Then she could afford a plane ticket :P

192- If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? Don’t ask me that, I’ll get sad.

193- If you were an element on the Periodic Table, which would you be and why? Polonium. Because it sounds cool.

194- If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 2016. It was shit.

195- You’re an Action Movie Hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy? Give me a badass sword. And I dunno, probably “I’ve got balls of steel”

196- If you could design an amusement park ride, what would it be like? Some bullshit crazy roller coaster that has a 1 in 10 chance of killing you.

197- What is the first curse word that comes to mind? FUCK.

198- What the last party you went to was… and when the next will be… Fuck parties.

199- Halloween costume idea? I was gonna be a Kroger bag for Halloween when I worked at Walmart.

200- What are you supposed to be doing right now? Nothing. I am ethereal.

201- Currently wanting to see anyone? Yes, always.

202- Why you follow me? I can’t, you’re a survey.

203- If you met me what would you do? Wonder how a survey was walking around.

204- Leave me a ridiculous question: Why are you so interested in me?

205- Leave me a cute message: Fluffy cats.

Opinions and beliefs

206- Is the cup half full or half empty for you right now? There is no cup. I smashed it.

207- Do you believe in fate/destiny? Nah.

208- What you wish for on 11:11? Happiness.

209- Do you consider yourself lucky? What’s your good luck charm? Fuck no lol.

210- Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? Yeah, there’s no way we’re alone in this fuck huge universe.

211- What is your religion, if any? I am not religious.

212- Would you go against your moral code for money? Depends on which part of the moral code and the amount of money.

213- What’s more important to you:strength of the body or strength of the mind? Gimme dem moosels.

214- How important you think education is? If it’s a good education, very important, but the shit that passes for education in America is less important than deciding what kind of toilet paper to buy.

215- If you were the president, what would you do? Die of the anxiety and stress during my inauguration.

216- If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? Money wouldn’t have turned everyone into a greedy cunt.

217- Is it the thought that counts? Or is that phrase circumstantial? Eh. Depends on the situation. Somebody with no medical training trying to save somebody who was injured and instead ends up accidentally killing them should have just kept their thoughts to themselves.

218- If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? Buy a plane ticket to Berlin.

219- Which movie character do you most identify with and why? Greg House. Because depression and alcoholism suck.

Feelings and Others

220- Are you a procrastinator or do you get things done early? I procrastinate procrastination.

221- Post a photo/draw a picture/write a poem (pick one) of a moment of personal significance: That is not happening, I am lazy.

222- Say 5 things you love unconditionally: The girlfriend, music, food, the Internet, and kittehs.

223- What motivates you in life? My girlfriend. Seriously if I hadn’t found her I’d be a puddle of vaguely human-shaped sadness on the ground.

224- Something that you’re proud of: I can play guitar.

225- Five words/phrases that make you laugh: “Look at this fucking bird making pasta. Just look at it for fuck’s sake”

226- Share the story of something that makes you smile: Watching all of the “Will it [insert food here]?” videos from GoodMythicalMorning with Jess. Fun nights.

227- Something you always think “what if…” about: You probably know the answer lol.

228- What was something you used to enjoy, but was ruined for you? What’s the story behind that? LotR. Because I watched them with Jess and now they just make me sad, stop making me think about this shit.

229- Describe one of the most awkward experiences of your life: When I tried to dance with my crush in like 3rd grade and had no idea wtf I was doing lmao.

230- Something/someone that you miss: THE GIRLFRIEND. WAKE YO ASS UP.

231- Are you over your past? Not entirely.

232- What is your saddest memory? When she broke up with me, what the fuck did I JUST say.

233- One of the hardest moments in your life: Holy fuck you’re doing this on purpose.

234- Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? YEAH. AS A MATTER OF FUCKING FACT THERE IS.

235- What’s something you want to do that you’d be embarrassed to tell other people about? I wanna go to a vocaloid concert.

236- What was your most embarrassing moment? Fuck if I know. I embarrass myself a lot.

237- Share one of your fears/insecurities: I hate my nasty pudgy belly.

238- Something you’re currently worrying about: Getting a fucking job.

239- Have you done something you regret very much? Yes.

240- If you could take something back that you said or did, what would it be? I would take back what an asshole I was.

241- Does anyone hate you? Probably.