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#I am too insanely proud of that Edgar look at him. look at my boy
anothermonikan · 9 months
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New drawing tablet moment
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oro-e-diamanti · 3 years
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Quiet Music: Capriccio (Chapter 4)
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In collaboration with @bethanysnow whose ask box is always open for questions, comments, and anything else about this story as well!
Catching the small flames of romance, starting to get turned on higher. They have a tour to do, right? Not spend all their time making goo-goo eyes at each other.....unless?
Content | Fluff
Pairing | fem!Reader x Damiano
Word Count | 8274
Taglist | @damianodavide @lizstans @unitermoonshine @its-afucking-mess @ethaneskin @dont-let-me-drown-in-you@vampirtet @lividisuigomiti @juststalking @tabi-toast @ethan-torchio-angelo @cheese-toastie-11 @thewitchinthemountain @ethanesimp @sofckinelectric @man3skin @daddydamiano @finelinejpm @superchrystaldrug @ginny-lily @nientedaridere @rainbowmarta @tiaamberxx @shaunthesheesh @enjcltaire @rocketqueen @aleksanderwh0r3 @dacey0eg @damianodavidhands @megann-duff @teatrodellavita @solasullabarca @fanfictionandfluff @makapaka11 @slave4yourlove @geklutst-ei @bookish0918 @mehrmonga @kanevill @butterfly-skinnylegend @lidiyabest @ccweasley @bluscryn @deluxeplanteater @ohtorchio @bidet-and-legolas @maybanksslut @katyldamusic @fedorable-killjoys
***
"Thomas," Y/n stared down as he entered the bus. "When I gave you my personal number it was meant for emergencies, not you texting me because you forgot what "sempiternal" means in the middle of the night. What were you reading anyway?!"
"Nothing." Thomas looked up at her from where he was sitting, wide eyes, feigning innocence.
Y/n shook her head, not believing the guitarist and his horrible poker face, but not being bothered enough to question him any further either. “Well, next time you have a question like that in the middle of the night, ask google instead.” She gave him a warm smile and a little pat on the head as she passed him by, moving down the hallway of the tour bus.
It had become a routine for her to stop at the stove first, starting the coffee for everyone, then having a look around as she was waiting for it to boil. Damiano was slumped over on a couch, his head in his hand and still half asleep. She wondered how little rest he had gotten last night, after meeting him out on the balcony at 2 am.
Had he stayed awake for hours, like she had? Had he been thinking about her, the way she had been thinking about him? He had flirted quite heavily last night and she wasn’t sure whether to attribute it to his sleepiness, or if he had meant it at all. She wasn’t quite sure what she was hoping for either. He was insanely attractive, and the attention he gave her made her heart beat in ways no other man had managed to do before. But this wasn’t the time or situation to turn into a bundle of nerves because of a boy.
Even if her brain had decided to play fantasies of him storming into her hotel room last night. Demanding to kiss her. Holding her face in his hands. Looking at her with those dark, hazel eyes, like she was the only person in the world. Probably smelling of sleep and cigarettes and all that made him inherently Damiano. She knew the smell well, it had been haunting her all throughout this whole fucking tour. But the fantasies kept coming, imagining him in love with her, even if she never truly believed in it. It was a nice idea, nothing more.
The sharp hiss of the coffee pot pulled her out of his thoughts and woke up Damiano from his half-slumber. Tired eyes trying to make out the source of the noise, smiling slightly when realising that caffeine was coming his way. Y/n quickly moved to get his cup ready, preparing it the way she had already learned he preferred. He readily held out his hand for the beverage, fingers briefly touching. She almost dropped it as sparks ran through her. She wasn’t sure if he had felt the same or simply hid it better. But as soon as the cup was safely in his hands, she turned back around. Back to the stove to take a deep breath and continue her morning routine.
I need to get over myself. This is a job. Getting fluttery over your boss is not gonna help get the job done. Ignore him. He didn’t feel anything. You need to work. Not imagine something that is never gonna happen. It's not gonna happen, Y/n.
She made quick work depositing the other mugs to Victoria and Thomas, before finding Ethan in the very back of the bus. Drum sticks in hands and absentmindedly tapping a beat on the table in front of him.
“Coffee?”
“Yeah, thank you,” he answered, absentmindedly. “Hey, Y/n, does this sound good to you?”
Ethan started to play out a beat, effectively ignoring the cup that had been placed on the table, as she sat down beside him to listen.
“I’m no musician, but it certainly sounds good to my ears!”
Ethan gave her a proud smile, putting his drumsticks to the side for a second to take a sip from his drink. Y/n, grabbed them immediately, beating randomly on the table.
“You know what? I may have to take you up on your offer of teaching me to play. Love how you guys always have stuff around, you’re just constantly thinking about music. I wish I knew how to play," she sighed.
“I can show you a bit of drumming right now, if you’d like?” He offered. “Just a bit of a rhythm on the table right here.”
He moved closer to her, taking her hands in his as she kept holding onto the sticks and tried to get her to play a little, easy beat, but the angle was awkward and her wrist was bent too much to properly tap along.
“Okay, this isn’t working,” he laughed. “Would you mind, um, moving between my legs?”
Y/n could feel another blush coming on. It may be just Ethan, but it IS Ethan and Ethan sure is pretty. She studied his face, unassuming, nothing but a welcoming smile. But she felt odd. She had only been working for this band for a few days, yet she’d already grown closer to them than any other client she had worked with before. Normally she’d do her job, get a quick thank you on the way out, and then just retire somewhere. Do uni work, wait for further instructions. This whole thing was new and as much as she was enjoying it, she wasn’t sure if she was crossing lines she shouldn’t as a personal assistant. Then again, what was the harm in a little lesson? It wasn’t like there was anything else to it. This wasn’t him trying to flirt with her, this was him trying to be a friend. She could do with a friend.
With a quick nod, she moved and sat down on the floor in front of Ethan. Nestling between his legs as he held her hand. Helping her get into position before backing up a little to give her more space. Grabbing her hands again with the sticks to demonstrate how she was supposed to hold and then hit the table. He leaned over her to watch what she was doing. She understood quickly, getting the hang of it and before she knew it Ethan had let go of her hands as she was successfully keeping the rhythm going.
“See? Natural talent,” he laughed behind her.
Neither of them had noticed Damiano walk down the corridor towards them until he stopped in the doorway.
“Ah, Dami! Look what Ethan taught me!” Y/n starts repeating the little rhythm with the biggest smile on her face, proud of herself and what she’d learned in such a short time. Ethan leant back, watching her with a smile.
“Good job, Y/n. Keep going and you might replace Edgar soon,” Damiano said, ducking into the bathroom with a laugh.
Y/n watched him disappear. Her heart fluttered as he left her sight. If he could just not be my boss, that’d be fucking great…
She stood back up to sit next to Ethan on the couch, shaking the thought off. “I see why you like drumming, it’s fun.”
“Thank you, I think so too. You enjoy being our assistant, by the way?” Ethan asked, looking at her inquisitively while finally continuing to drink his coffee.
“Actually, yes. Best job I have ever taken. I know your manager is an absolutely wonderful woman. Didn’t know she planned this position for me originally though, kinda scared me to be honest.”
“Are we scary?”
“No, no. You’re all lovely. You are the biggest group I’ve worked for so far, so there’s that. But…” Y/n moved to sit on her leg now, leaning closer to Ethan, starting to feel more comfortable around him. “You four are indescribably amazing people. My mum would probably call you ‘people after God’s heart’,” she imitated her mother’s Northern accent, making Ethan laugh.
“Shocking, I know, that we’re normal!”
Y/n smacked his chest.
“No! You are far better than anyone- no one on this bus is ‘normal’.”
“Even the driver?”
“Especially the driver.”
***
Damiano hadn’t meant to listen in, but standing behind the slightly closed door of the restroom, he couldn’t help himself, even if it was killing him. Ethan and Y/n would probably be really good for each other… The thought flashed through him. No. It wouldn’t happen. Not under his watch.
Last night had been a blessing and a curse. After finishing his smoke, he had stood out on the balcony for a little longer, imagining the conversations they would have been having if she had stayed out with him. Under the moonlight. Måneskin. Her hair down, she would probably go get another glass of wine. Coming back out to see him.
“What about you, amore mio? Working on more Shakespeare?”
“Yes. Always. I work hard for things I want, you know me. All work no play makes Y/n a happy girl,” she would snicker into her wine glass.
“What if I wanted you. What would I have to do? Never been shy about ... hard… work, either…”
“Why don’t you come and find out, the door is unlocked…”
With a heavy sigh, he moved to the sink to splash some water on his face, raking it through his hair. It was only early in the morning, he didn’t need to unscrew his head just yet. She was just a girl. Just some girl that worked for them. There were so many people on the team, she was simply one of them. But she was also a woman, with wants and needs and desires, and oh, how he would love to attend to every single one of them… Maybe I could be a need for her, for the beautiful woman just one room over. He screamed internally. He was done for.
***
By the time Y/n left Ethan to his coffee, Damiano was back on the couch with a pen and paper, gears visibly turning in his head. He didn’t even look up when she entered. See, just a guy, Y/n thought. Victoria was busy bickering with the driver about wanting to stop at a service station within the next hour. Thomas was scrolling through his phone absent-mindedly.
As soon as Vic had finished her conversation, she walked over to where Y/n was sitting, letting herself drop onto the seat next to her heavily, laying her head on her shoulder. “Y/n I want snacks.”
“I bought snacks, they’re in the cupboard.”
“But, fun snacks! Like you,” the bassist winked.
“As much as I love the compliment, Victoria, I am sure the driver will take us to the next petrol station after hearing your plea.” She kissed the top of the blonde’s head. “You can survive a little longer without sugary snacks.”
Victoria looked up at her with big blue eyes, wrapping her arms around the assistant. “But what if I can’t, Y/n,” she whined, pulling a dramatic pose. “What if I waste away without fun snacks.”
“Vic, love, nothing here will make you die because you haven’t had food. I provided all of you with breakfast - it was your decision to let Thomas eat yours.”
“And I don’t regret a thing!” Thomas shouted from his seat, all three of them breaking out into laughter. Y/n grinned, eyes falling back onto some of the papers in front of her, ready to get back into work. Victoria’s arm looped around Y/n’s as she snuggled into her shoulder with a pitiful sigh.
***
Goddamnit, not her, too.
Damiano had meant to start writing some more, lyrics and words and images flowing through his head in a chaos that needed to be tamed by pen and paper. But as soon as he had sat down Victoria had started moaning about snacks and her little interaction with Y/n had taken up all of the brain space the lyrics should have. His eyes kept focusing on the closeness between the two of them. The way Vic leant her head on Y/n’s shoulder, the way she in turn kissed the bassist’s head. So far he had only considered Ethan to be a concern. But now the thought of Victoria herself meddling was increasingly growing. So she might have had a boyfriend but that had been, what? Years ago? She had said? And the guy had been a dick. What if she’d just given up on men completely, deciding to exclusively date girls from now on? Fuck.
Staring at the way Victoria was now cuddling her, his thoughts ran wild. Was this still friendly? Was the smile she was giving Vic flirty? Maybe she hadn’t been returning his flirtations the way he’d been hoping because it was Vic she was interested in, not him?
Dwelling on these thoughts wasn’t going to help. Jealousy, envy, insecurity… as interesting as they would be as drag names, they weren’t going to solve the issue. Damiano felt stuck. Making heart eyes at a girl who was three feet away while she was none the wiser. Yet it was Victoria latching onto her arm. He wasn’t surprised. She was gorgeous, and funny, and cared about people. And Vic had a lot of good qualities he himself didn’t possess. Maybe it’s the boobs? His brain mused, but he shook it off. That wasn’t it, he was sure of it.
***
Victoria studies Damiano. His face would have been unreadable to anyone else, obviously lost in his thought. But she knew him well enough to understand that the look on his face was one of insecurity and upset. Not necessarily at anything in particular, just upset. Her eyes softened. Raising a brow at the singer. He simply shrugged, shaking his head, then taking the notebook he was carrying everywhere. Opening it up, staring at the words written there, but not adding anything. Yet his eyes never stopped flicking away to everyone else around him, obviously restless. What was up with him? If there was one thing Victoria hated it was one of her friends feeling off and her not being able to do anything about it. But she knew Damiano, and she knew it could be hard to get him to budge if he didn’t want to talk.
As their eyes met once more, she took the chance to mouth at him, “You alright?”
His eyes flashed at Y/n for a split second, he probably hadn’t even noticed it himself, before nodding with a tight-lipped smile, then looking back down at his pages. That was when it finally clicked in Victoria’s mind. It was about her. And from the looks he kept secretly giving her, the problem wasn’t dislike.
***
“SNACKS!” Victoria and Thomas all but yelled as the bus pulled into the parking lot of a little petrol station. The band ran out of the bus, stumbling over each other like a hoard of kindergartners, and Y/n couldn’t help but smirk at their behaviour. Following them in a much more composed manner.
By the time she entered the shop, all four members of the band had dispersed into different corners. Trying to figure out what to buy. Damiano was holding up two chocolate bars, obviously trying to decipher what the difference was with no knowledge of Swedish whatsoever, before shrugging his shoulders and taking both.
Y/n was still in the doorway, grabbing a basket and consulting a little list on her phone. As much as she loved to let them run wild, she would not completely have them overdose on sugar. No matter how much they wanted to. She still felt responsible for their wellbeing, even on their days off. Juice felt like a sensible choice.
Suddenly, she saw a hand appear from behind her, casually taking out some orange juice from her basket. She turned around in surprise, only to be faced with Thomas looking at her with wide eyes, obviously feeling caught.
“No healthy stuff from the petrol station!” He suddenly shouted, grabbing her whole basket now and running away with it.
“Thomas!” She flew after him before she knew what she was doing, almost running over Ethan as she chased the guitarist through the little store. With not much space available, they ended up going round and round one of the shelves, until Thomas unceremoniously crashed into a cooler when he didn’t manage to take a turn in time. Trying to bite back a smile, Y/n walked over, breathlessly asking him if he was alright, as laughter still bubbled out of her. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Victoria, giggling away, phone pointed towards them.
“Oh no, you’re not putting that on the internet!” Y/n pointed a finger at her in what she hoped was an authoritative gesture, but Victoria wasn’t impressed.
“Too late!” She squealed as she skipped away, out of reach, to pay for whatever she had picked out.
Thomas had gotten back up on his feet in the meantime, contents of the basket still spilled all around him, sporting a pout.
“Stop it with that face,” Y/n scolded, but she couldn’t keep the smile at bay. “Go pick out your favourite snack, you can add it to my basket.”
Thomas happily skipped away as Y/n quickly picked up the mess, then moved to another aisle finding Damiano there. He seemed to be debating over the crisps now, having moved on from the chocolate bars.
She stood to the side, her eyes flashing over him a couple more times than necessary. He was just too pretty. It was simply impossible to look away. Even now, no fancy clothes, no stage makeup, no grand performance, he was mesmerising.
Her brain couldn’t help itself, images and ideas flashing in front of her eyes. Going to a petrol station on road trips with their future kids. Them bouncing around, chasing each other over a candy bar. Her and Damiano trying to get them not to cause a mess, slightly annoyed, but always laughing along with them.
She looked at him again. In a blink, the daydream changed.
It’s past midnight. He’s in the same sweatshirt he’s wearing right now. Her arms wrapped around his torso. Looking up at that beautiful face of his. Him picking up condoms from the health section. Winking at her with that certain glint in his eyes. Smacking her arse on the way to the cashier. Filled with giggles and flirtatious glances and knowing what the night ahead would entail. The anticipation crackling around them.
Oh, to be that girl. The girl he looks at with lustful eyes. The one he wasn't to make a baby with. Not the one to be ashamed of.
***
Damiano had chosen what kind of crisps to buy long ago. He simply was too busy staring back at Y/n, who seemed to be lost in thought. Eyes focused on him, yet apparently not noticing him looking back. He could basically see the gears in her head turning, mouth slightly open, far away in her mind.
Whatever enraptured that beautiful mind of hers… He wanted to know - could he be that very thing someday? Be so involved in her thoughts that it caused her to finally slow down? Get her to relax. He kept daydreaming about the massage he had given her the other day. How she had melted into his touch. He wanted that again. But more. He wanted her sighs and her moans as he worked her body in any way she would let him. Hell, he’d be her personal roadie if she wanted.
Fuck, he was smitten. She was always so strong-willed, so passionate. That night on the balcony had done nothing to help his fantasies. Her teaching him how to dance? Bodies close to each other, breathing the same air… Whatever perfume she used, he wanted to drown in it.
***
Victoria had been on the way back out, snacks acquired, Instagram story uploaded, and ready to head back to the bus for the last two hours of the ride. However, she stopped dead in her tracks when Y/n and Damiano caught her eye. Both of them were staring at the other, yet neither seemed to realise it. Just lost in their own worlds. Vic frowned, not oblivious to the dreamy look on Y/n’s face or the way Damiano’s eyes kept flicking up and down their assistant’s body. Something was definitely going on here and she was determined to find out what exactly it was.
After Y/n had finally moved again, paying for the snacks, Victoria caught up with her outside the shop. Their driver was having a smoke, surely had more than enough time left for a little talk.
“Y/n, wait up,” Vic quickly jogged up to her, taking the shopping bag out of her hand and carrying it into the bus ahead of her.. “Let me help you.”
She was counting on the guys to be staying outside for a little longer, probably lighting up a cigarette each as soon as they were done snack-shopping.
“So…” She started, putting away the snacks alongside Y/n. “Saw you staring at Damiano in there.”
Great, this wasn’t subtle at all, she scowled at herself. Tact had never been her strong suit in these situations. She was far more likely to rush into a conversation, head first, too open, too honest, too soon.
“I- uh- I don’t know what you mean. I was probably just staring off into space.”
Okay, she was getting flustered. Victoria knew she was onto something here, but it wouldn’t be easy to get anything out of Y/n. She was way too professional and… uptight for that. And they didn’t exactly have any red wine on tap to get her to open up.
“You know, there’s no harm in it. He’s a very attractive man,” she said, playfully nudging Y/n’s side. “Pretty sure everyone’s had the hots for him at some point.”
“Well I haven’t, it's very unprofessional.” Y/n stubbornly replied and Victoria almost laughed out loud.
Sure, she hadn’t. That’s why she was staring at him like he was a drink of water in the middle of a desert. Or why she was getting all flustered every time he touched her. Or why she always seemed to gravitate towards him, whatever she was doing. But that wasn’t what Vic was going to say. It wouldn’t get them anywhere. She had learned that much about Y/n.
“All my friends used to have a crush on him in school,” Vic laughed, remembering their beginnings. “They’d just hang out whenever we were rehearsing, making heart eyes at him and complimenting his every move, but he never cared. He never even looked at them, just giving them a polite hello. Never paid them any attention because he was way too focused on the music we were making. He’s always been like that. Music has always come first. It’s why I think it’s so peculiar how interested he is in you.”
If Y/n had been flustered before, she was full-on blushing now, rapidly opening a random cabinet to hide her face, but Victoria had seen. Her eyes got wide, as if she had been struck by lightning.
“He’s not interested in me, don’t be silly. I work for him just as I work for you and we all get along. Nothing is going to happen if that is what you are worried about. I would never jeopardize the tour or our friendship. He doesn’t even see me like that, anyway, so it’s fine. It’s not like I’m his type, and like, I mean-”
“Hey,” Victoria turned more serious now. As much as she enjoyed teasing her new friend, she felt like she needed to let her know that she wasn’t kidding in this case. She put a tentative hand on her shoulder. Having the other turn around to have Y/n face her. “I’m serious though. I know it’s early days, but if you feel something for him? I’m not going to stop you. Neither is anyone else on this tour. He’s a great guy. And I’ll personally punch him if he isn’t. And I think you’re great Y/n. You deserve good things.”
For a second, Victoria could see a flicker of Y/n’s softer side, of her vulnerability. She felt compelled to pull her into a hug, but she feared making her uncomfortable, so instead, she simply pretended she hadn’t seen. Just like she pretended not to hear Y/n’s voice breaking just the tiniest bit when she said, “Thank you.”
***
The old town of Malmö was full of cobblestone, canals, and adorable old houses. When Y/n led them into the restaurant she had reserved for the evening, Damiano made sure to ask for a table by the window, enamoured by what looked to be the main square of the town and the people hurrying along. As he turned back towards the table, he noticed Y/n with a similar look on her face. Chin held up by her hand as she leaned on the table, watching the world pass by outside. A serene smile played on her face and he feared he was mirroring her expression when Victoria kicked his foot from under the table. Giving him a knowing smile and a raised brow. He shook his head, quickly grasping the menu to distract himself.
“Oooh happy hour!” Victoria squealed. “First round of cocktails is on me!”
Damiano almost let out a sigh - knowing fully well that when it came to an evening like this, they would not stop at a round or two. He was to be proven right.
About two hours later, the sun was on the verge of setting. There was a nice buzz going on, dinner eaten, while the drinks kept coming. Thomas was retelling a story Damiano had heard about a hundred times. Excitedly waving his hands around he only just managed to grasp one of the glasses before the guitarist knocked it over. Y/n was listening attentively - the only one out of the bunch to not have heard Thomas’ retelling before. Damiano couldn’t help but notice how her cheeks were slightly flushed, a sure sign that she’d had a drink. He thought she looked adorable. She’d look just as adorable under me. He quickly put the thought away, blaming it on the alcohol he had consumed. Apart from Y/n - who had been responsible enough to switch back and forth between cocktails and water - they were all on the edge of being drunk, laughing too loudly, talking too excitedly, being a little too affectionate.
It’s what he blamed his behaviour on, when he found his foot searching for hers under the table. Giving her just the slightest, playful kick to get her attention. She looked at him immediately, raised eyebrows, obviously wondering if he had touched her by mistake. So this time, he fully smirked, holding eye contact, as he nudged her again. A timid smile appeared on her face and he was convinced that she would be awkward. Pulling back, possibly scolding him any other time. But her slightly intoxicated state seemed to leave her more open to his teasing. He barely believed it when she nudged him back. Maybe we’re actually getting somewhere here.
“Um, excuse me?”
The whole table looked up at once at the timid voice. Only to find two young girls awkwardly and uncomfortable standing next to them, faces as red as tomatoes and eyes wide.
“Are you Måneskin?”
“We are, actually!” Victoria beamed, immediately getting up. “Do you guys want some pictures?”
The girls didn’t seem to manage anything but hectic nods, too excited and overwhelmed. Damiano smiled. It didn’t matter how big they were getting - having people coming up to them to ask for photos, so obviously in love with them. Still made his heart beat like crazy. He’d do anything for the fans.
Quickly, getting up from his chair as well, he pulled the other two along with him, taking a few photos with the two, exchanging some words and thanking them for their support. Looking back at Y/n, he noticed she was getting a bit nervous.
“Guys, we should probably move back to the hotel now,” she said and it was only then that he took a look around and saw the amount of people staring. Talking and pointing phones at them. It was obvious none of them were actual fans - just hoping to get a glimpse of something to put on their social media. Damiano nodded, rounding up the rest of his band and leading them out of the restaurant, ready to call for a taxi as Y/n went to settle the tab and then followed them outside mere seconds later.
“Right let’s get you back to the hotel,” Y/n decided as they finally managed to flag down a taxi. “But don’t worry, the night’s not over yet - bring your swimsuits, I’ve got a little surprise for you.”
***
Y/n was perched on a little tiled bench, laptop with work opened at her side. A bluetooth speaker ready nearby. She’d slipped the girl at the reception a little money and a signed picture of the band, which she had gratefully taken, to make sure they’d have the hotel pool to themselves that night. Y/n was aware that the band tended to really enjoy a nice dip in the water and she was determined she’d get them to let loose and relax a bit before more gigs were coming their way.
She didn’t notice that everyone had arrived until a flash of blond ran past her and jumped into a pool with a massive splash. It shouldn’t have been a surprise that Thomas would announce his presence like this. She still flinched for a second. Ethan followed not much later, with Victoria opting for the stairs ‘for hair-related reasons’ and Damiano pushing her in anyways. Following swiftly himself, as she grabbed his hand as she was falling. Y/n shook her head, amused at the four, and turned on some music as she watched them.
She couldn’t help but smile at the way they all acted like little kids on a pool day. But behaviour was one thing - the way they looked was quite another. Water was running down their bodies… okay, one body in particular. She would be lying if she said that Damiano swimming around in nothing but his little shorts wasn’t… well, breathtaking. Tattoos on full display, hair wet, glistening skin. He was smiling, laughing, trying to outswim Thomas. The way his physique moved through the water… He was in formidable shape. What she would give to be manhandled by this man.
Him pinning her to a wall, smirking, looking down at her like he was going to eat her. He rightfully just might. Telling her all the dirty thoughts he had when on stage. Making her look away in a blush, but grabbing her face. Tsk-ing, ‘no, no, no, good girls look at who is speaking to them’.
But no. Work called her name, just loudly enough to pull her out of her fantasy.
***
Opening the laptop, she immediately seemed to get immersed in her work. Damiano watched her with a frown on his face. This was so like her - making sure everyone else got taken care of and was having a good time, only to withdraw and bury her in her work again. He wished she’d take more breaks to just enjoy.
Every now and then she looked away from the screen, watching what everyone else was doing and contently smiling to herself. He couldn’t help imagining her watching over him the same way with their kids. His head was running away with the idea.
Him splashing around with the children. Her watching over them, staying on the sidelines, smiling the way she was now. Making sure everyone was safe and happy. Snacks in hand. Their daughter climbing out of the water, running over to her. The way her eyes would light up, arms open wide, not caring about getting wet as she hugged her. He knew she’d be the most perfect mum, just from looking at her. Nothing had ever been as obvious to him.
A splash of water over his head pulled him out of his thoughts. Apparently, Ethan had caught him staring. He shrugged it off.
“Y/n! Come swim with us!” Victoria called, moving to the edge of the pool. The assistant did nothing but raise a brow at the request, shaking her head.
“You kids go have fun,” she laughed. “I’m fine here, doing a bit of work. Just because you got a day off, doesn’t mean I do too!”
“Ah, you’re no fun, Y/n. One night won’t kill you,” Thomas groaned, diving back under the water.
“Well, I didn’t even bring my swimsuit, so it’s out of the question anyway. Now let me do some work.” She tried to sound strict but the giggle bubbled in her voice anyway, still tiny traces of intoxication in her speech. Damiano grinned at the thought of her still being tipsy, slightly wondering if it’d give him the chance to get her to let her guard down the way she had done the night before.
“Oh, rubbish, you party pooper!” Vic shouted back. “Your underwear will do just fine, it’s not like anyone is here to tell you off.”
Y/n shot a look at Victoria. A blush that definitely wasn’t caused by alcohol crept onto her face.
“I’m alright, you have fun.”
Damiano’s head spun, looking at Y/n sitting on the bench. The sheer idea of her joining them like that? Potentially seeing her undress? He was more than glad the water was hiding the lower half of his body.
“Get over here now or we’re dragging you in!” Thomas threatened, already halfway through heaving himself out of the water.
Oh, no way I’m getting out of the water right now, not like this.
“Oh fine! Fine, fine. If it will make you all stop worrying about me ‘not having fun’,” she laughed.” She rolled her trousers up as she moved to the edge of the pool, kicked off her shoes, and let her legs dangle in the water as she sat down. “Happy?”
“For now,” Vic laughed. “But don’t think you’ll always get out of things this easily!”
“Oh come on guys, leave her be.” Ethan decided to be the voice of reason once again. He swam up to her, hair all piled on top of his head in a bun. “Sorry about them - they don’t know when to quit.”
Y/n giggled at his comment.
“It’s cool, nice seeing everyone have a good time though.” Y/n tilted her head for a moment, looking at Ethan. Slowly she raised a hand to hold his face still, the other hand pulling something out of his hair. “There you go. Can’t have fuzz in those luscious locks of yours!”
A scowl appeared on Damiano’s face. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling like this, but the way she was looking at Ethan right now, that soft touch, made all the fantasies in his head shatter for a moment. Why wasn’t she fixing his hair instead. Fuck, he was being stupid. His attention was drawn away from the pair as a loud squeal escaped Victoria, who was currently being wrestled in the water by Thomas.
“Don’t you dare dunk me!”
Damiano didn’t even have to watch to know what happened next. A second later, a spluttering Vic emerged, a murderous look in her eye as she dunked Thomas in return. Their little fight turned chaotic, ending with the top of her bikini slowly floating away from her.
“Aw Vic, do you always have to be topless?!” Thomas laughed loudly.
“You dick! You untied it!”
Y/n instantly covered her eyes, avoiding Victoria’s half-naked body at all costs, looking down at her lap.
“Um - maybe someone should, uh, give her her top back?” She stammered.
Vic looked at the blushing girl, a smirk growing on her face as she whispered something at Thomas, pointing at Y/n, obviously hatching a plan. She swam up to their friend, gently grabbing her legs under the water.
“You are the only one that seems to mind, amore… Do you not like my tits?” Victoria teased, cocking her head to the side as she tried to catch Y/n’s eyes.
“No! No, I mean- That’s not what I mean. Um… I don’t know - is it just me or is it hot in here?” Y/n was a mess, tripping over her words.
“The only one that’s hot here is you, Y/n,” Thomas grinned, swimming off to retrieve Vic’s top, which he handed to her as he came back. The blonde held it up to her boobs in a fake-clumsy way, big eyes looking up at Y/n.
“Oh, I think I’m going to need your help with this, Y/n. Mind tying me up?”
Y/n looked like she was about to explode, her face once again covered in a deep red. With slightly shaking fingers, she moved forwards as Vic turned her back towards her, fumbling with the strings around her neck and her back to tie them up.
“Thanks, babe, you’re a doll!” Victoria grinned, taking the assistant’s hand and leaving a little kiss on her knuckles. It was the point at which Damiano decided he’d definitely need to protect her from his bandmates. If anything, it was his time to bother Y/n now.
As Damiano swam over, Y/n was still bright red. Her head was still lowered, picking at her nail polish, as she squeaked out a “hi”. You’ve got to put on the charm now, you can do it, he said in his head, hyping himself up as he looked back at her. He didn’t want to bring her into even more of an awkward situation, but his hands were on her legs before he even noticed, slightly stroking along the curve of her calves under the water.
“Don’t mind those fools,” he told her in a voice low enough that they wouldn’t hear. “They’re just trying to rile you up because they like seeing you blush. It is a nice sight, to be fair. Seeing you blush.”
“Well, it’s not like I have control over that. Um. Y-you look cool… I mean - good. You know? … fucking hell.” She buried her face in her hands, stifling a flustered chuckle. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I apologise, I will just hide now, forever.”
Yet, the smile on her face hadn’t left since Damiano had arrived. She bit her lip nervously, looking at the singer. Staring at him, maybe trying to figure out what his intentions were. He wished he knew. “Your, uh… eyes… they’re pretty.”
“Don’t even think about ever hiding that face from me, yeah?” He pulled her hands back down as she once again attempted to cover herself. He briefly forgot his hands were wet, until she giggled and patted her own dry on her shirt as he let go. “Your eyes are really pretty too, Y/n, so don’t deprive me of them.”
She blinked a couple of times, taken aback by what he had said. “Alright, I can do that.” She barely noticed they were holding hands. Rubbing her thumb over his skin softly, keeping herself grounded in place by the heat his body gave off under the water. “You just gotta step in when they start taking the piss again, yeah?”
He moved in closer now, only letting go of her hands to grasp onto her thighs, trying to keep himself above water. He was desperate to move between her legs, but he wasn’t going to ruin the moment by taking it too far. Not yet. “Of course. But amore mio, what if I wanted to, uh, ‘take the piss’?”
She smirked. “Oh! Then that’s fine.”
Damiano was sure his heart wasn’t even beating anymore, it was fluttering. There was something about her… every time he watched her, talked to her, he felt like he was looking at her for the first time. Finding a new side to her. He wanted more, constantly craving to get closer, and in moments like these. When she let him in just a little bit, made him feel like he was just one small step above the others, he felt like it was all going to be worth it. The slow way he was working himself into her heart.
“Y/N HAS A TATTOO ON HER ANKLE!” Thomas suddenly shouted, popping out of the water and pointing at the assistant. Damiano was pushed out of the way by Victoria, who grabbed Y/n’s leg. Hoisting it up in the air, turning it to show her ankle. A black outlined hand giving the middle finger with long black nails stared back at the band.
“That is really pretty,” Ethan said softly, but Victoria scoffed
“Pretty? It’s fucking cool! See,” she turned back to Y/n, “you are rock ‘n’ roll!”
Damiano stared at the little drawing on her leg, fascinated to have found yet another side to her he hadn’t seen coming. He wondered if she would let him tattoo her one day, letting him grab her leg, smoothing over the skin, putting that kind of trust in him. He was determined to find out, sooner or later.
“I mean... you think you’re the only ones with tattoos?” Y/n smirked, almost in a cocky way. It was a good look on her. “That one hurt like a bitch-”
“That one?” Damiano threw in. “Does that mean there’s more?”
Looking over at him, she simply smiled, shaking her head. “Anyway, it’s late, we should be going to bed soon. I know - I’m not trying to parent you, but somebody’s gotta be responsible here!” She stood up, fixing her trousers, putting her shoes back on, and grabbing towels to pass around. “Come on, out of the pool. Comply and I will get you something special with your coffee tomorrow!”
***
After everyone had retired to their rooms, Victoria decided she needed another talk. Moving along the hotel corridor, she stopped in front of Damiano’s door, softly knocking. He opened hastily, his face dropping ever so slightly as he saw her.
“Not who you were expecting?” She asked with a smirk as she pushed past him into the room. She was glad they’d all gotten their own rooms for the night and didn’t have to share - no need to involve Ethan or Thomas in the little conversation she was aiming to have with Damiano. Victoria dropped down onto the bed, kicking her shoes off and getting comfortable, as the singer followed.
“What can I do for you?” Damiano asked, shutting the door behind her.
“How about explaining why you were all over Y/n in the pool?” A grin spread on her face. She knew she’d have to be much less careful with Damiano than she had been in the conversation with Y/n, but still needed him to know this was good-natured teasing. “Pretty touchy, if you ask me.”
“Well, we were talking. Don’t need to tell you everything I do.” He flopped onto the bed, grabbing a pillow to smother his face into. “Why?”
“Yes you do, I’m one of your best friends!” She didn’t hesitate in grabbing the second pillow to whack him over the head, before putting it back behind herself to lean against. “Just interested to know what you think of her. You know, because I’m your friend and I care. And I’m nosey, so spill.”
He started groaning into the pillow.
“If I told you I think I like her, would you shut up about it?” He turned his head to the side to look at the blonde. “I don’t know, Vic, she walked into our lives and…” His eyes grew distant as he thought about her.
“Wait, you actually like like her? I was thinking you were just attracted, you know the thrill of the chase and all that. Fuck, Damiano!” Her smile came back tenfold. “I love this!”
He shot up from his lying position. “No! No, you don’t love this! I don’t love this! I have no fucking clue what I’m doing! She is so sweet and kind and sensitive and I can’t stop thinking about her, it’s turning me into a brain-dead zombie. I could never actually win her over, I fuck up so much and- … I talk too much don’t I?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so flustered!” Victoria remarked in amazement. “You’re actually, properly, crushing on her! You should tell her.” She almost added if only for my amusement but decided against it. This was obviously tormenting him already, no need for her to rub it in.
“I’m not gonna tell her shit! She’s our assistant, for god’s sake. I already could be in so much trouble if she took something I said wrong. I could fall flat on my face and- … Vic, I know that you care and you want me to be happy. Which I love and appreciate. We are best friends, we really are. I would do the same thing if you had a crush on someone, but I just don’t know what to do,” he moans, falling back onto the bed. “I haven’t been like this since school.”
Victoria patted his head in sympathy as he buried his face back into the pillow. She wasn’t quite sure what to advise him in this situation. Sure, she would love to see her friend happy. And there was definitely something cooking under the surface of Y/n’s feelings. And, honestly, the thought of the two of them together? She was basically swooning at the thought. But she also knew it wasn’t her place to meddle. Right?
“I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. I don’t wanna scare her away.” He looked at Victoria with pleading eyes. “Has she talked to you at all? Have you picked up anything from her? Any hints?”
A sigh escaped her lips, but she knew she couldn’t help but give him at least a little push in what she hoped was the right direction. “Look, Damiano. I’m not gonna pretend like I didn’t notice she fancies you. Honestly, no surprise there. But I think we both know she’s not exactly the type to jump right into bed with someone. So take it slow. Show her you care. Woo her.”
“Woo her?! Like an old Italiano romance? I can do that… I think. Okay, what does she like… Y/n, what does she- She doesn’t really talk about herself that much, does she..” Victoria could see the gears turning in his head. “This was so much easier when I wasn’t invested… Why do I have to be invested, Vic?”
He looked at her with dopey eyes, before jumping up and pacing around the room. “Argh! She is making me go insane! I tried writing lyrics, but nothing is working. I just can’t focus when she’s around. She gets this look, especially when talking about her work and language.. At the pool, did you see how she looked at me?”
“You’ve written lyrics?! Now, you really got it bad, my friend,” Victoria shook her head in amusement. “But yes, I did. I told you, she’s interested. Can’t tell you how deep that runs, I’ve only known her for a few days myself and she is working for us, no way to ignore that. So maybe take a step back until you figure this out?”
“Yeah, you’re right. She works for us. That’s… that’s a giant, neon ‘no’.” He stopped walking, looking out of the window. “I need to cool it, don’t I? We’re on tour. What am I doing! We have fans and people who are looking forward to seeing us. We have gigs to play! Fuck.” He sighed, staring off into the distance. “We should probably sleep. No long drive tomorrow, but lots of interviews, right?”
“Don’t get in over your head about this,” she put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. She hadn’t expected this kind of outburst when she had knocked on his door earlier. “It’s the first week of tour. You got three more of seeing her literally every day. Concentrate on the job, then on her, yeah? Now let’s get some sleep. And I mean it - no pondering and smoking all through the night, you gotta rest!”
“You’re right, I don’t know what I was thinking. Thank you.” He pulled Victoria into a hug. “Thank god you’re here. Wouldn’t know what to do. Goodnight.”
She gave him a little wave as she left his room, only just hearing him mumble, “I have music to perform…”
***
As the night grew to a close, Y/n found herself in her own room, snuggling into a pillow. Glad that the next day would leave less free time. Drive to Copenhagen. Get everyone settled it. Maneuver them from interview to interview, although this time around Victoria would be a great help since she knew Danish. Then off to soundcheck, light dinner, the gig, sleep. No time to get lost in silly daydreams for once.
Yet, as sleep slowly crept up on her, she couldn’t help one last thought entering her mind.
I wonder if he is thinking of me.
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fineosaur · 5 years
Text
2019 year in review
thank you for tagging me, lovely @thesilverrqueen !
(none of these are in order cause my indecision doesn't let me)
Top 5 films (did i even watch 5 movies last year??)
1. shutter island (i had been meaning to watch this one for years and finally did, god.. such a brilliant movie. definitely a fav)
how to train your dragon 3 (httyd franchise coming to an  end??? biggest rip but also cute asf i could rewatch all 3 over and over without getting bored)
spider-man: far from home (a spider-man movie with jake gyllenhaal??? excuse fuckign me of course this is on the list he looked gorgeous w his hair and beard. fuck me jacob.)
ek ladki ko dekha to aisa laga (a lesbian bollywood movie?? in my brown house hold??? thank fucking GOD. cried a lot at the end, still think about it till today and not to mention how much i love sonam kapoor and rajkumar rao)
el camino (GOD... the hurt i felt watching this and looking at jesse... man how i missed him. the pain was caused mostly by me remembering the kid in the yellow oversized hoodie who smiled and laughed and then seeing the traumatised man he’d become. just.. breaking bad sequel done right.)
Top 5 TV-shows (literally the only shows i actually ended up watching this year
peaky blinders (i started a while back, life happened then watched the whole thing again this year w the sis. fuckin wow, i cannot. i miss u john)
fleabag (if you havent watched fleabag???? sis wyd, STOP what you're doing and watch it now. this will probably go down as one of my favourite shows, humour, cynicism, love??)
derry girls (teenagers being allowed to be teenagers for once ffs, not giving us model looking supposed 16 year olds?? thank god. also giving glimpses of how the conflicts of that time affected their lives. just nice)
that 70s show (the episode names really just .. i couldnt stop. season 8 doesnt exist pls and thank u.)
the haunting of hill house (a horror show thats actually good?? it exists?? yes it does. and plus they let me stare at kate, carla, michiel and oliver for 10 episodes.)
(game of thrones who???)
Top 5 songs (can u believe only FIVE SONGS??? this shouldve been 5 albums but i’ll concede) 
mission - catfish and the bottlemen, the balance (ugh that beginning??? van u kill meee, “im sure you know what you’re doing now, if there’s a wall son, knock it down” & “you know i’ve shown you the ropes enough to know that almost dont count for nothing now, so go ahead make the missus proud” then the beat?? ugh i listen to this on repeat and just die;)
2all - catfish and the bottlemen, the balance (hits HARD and in the best way. all of the balance is just so dear to me i can’t imagine this year without it and will definitely be sad not to have new music from the boys until they decide to bless us. “i gave my love to all, all the ones that stuck around” which is also a quote i’ve stuck on my laptop.)
social cues - cage the elephant, social cues (i’ll just say it now, but cage the elephant kills me,, and matt’s voice is just always good to me. so when the album came out ofc i cried. “hide me in the back room, tell me when it’s over. dont know if i can play this part much longer” the way this bit is.. with the change in beat and matt’s singing just thank you. black madonna from the album is another fav)
wars - of monsters and men, fever dream (of monsters and men came out with a new album;........ WHEN I SAY I DIED --I REALLY DID. their music always has been transcendental to me so this one did what was promised. “love you on the weekends, but im careless and im wicked,” just... neato i cannot)
vulture, vulture - of monsters and men, fever dream (favourite song on the album, has been on repeat all fucking year. “i dont know about these heavy hands..” god the line, the way it’s sung just hits me)
Top 5 books
the glass menagerie - tennessee williams (hit me too hard and too close, the whole thing and the ending absolutely wrecked me ,,, tom wtf)
a storm of swords - george r.r. martin (everything about these two parts were just damn, i needED THAT. damn u george)
salt to the sea - ruta sepetys (oh god, i read this in a day whilst listening to handkerchief thief WHILST there was a storm, i got so immersed into it it was fuckin insane. ending is amazing and still sits inside me. the writing is beautiful i could reread this one over and over.)
the magic of reality - richard dawkins (dawkins is just.. explanation of everything in the best way possible for a fellow agnostic/atheist)
the fall of house usher - edgar allan poe (do i really have to elaborate? short story that leaves u unsettled)
5 positive or happy things that happened this year!
came out to my best friends  (who were both supportive as hell)
finished school! (good fucking riddance, cannot think of the last 2 years without getting nauseous)
got closer to a few friends that always manage to make me laugh stupidly (one of which is one of the few people actually staying in the country with me for their studies and has noted that i am now stuck with them for the years to come)
met some incredible people through tumblr (yknow who you babes are)
wrote for someone other than myself and got to practice something i love so dearly (thank you allll so much for allowing me to do so and enjoying something so dear to me)
im tagging @thelandofnothing @yanak324 @jjclarku @starkyards @aryasbadbenergy @princess-of-winterfell99 @watersandwolves and anyone who wants to do this, names aren't coming to me 
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nickireadstfc · 7 years
Text
The Raven King, Chapter 15 – Take A Chill Pill, Your Highness
In which the Ravens display levels of Extra previously unbeknownst to man, I have a fit over Actual Biological Dadmack, Jean Valjean is immortalized in meme, and I generally don’t take the Ravens very seriously – until I suddenly take them very, very seriously.
Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Raven King.
Y’all ready for a fun festive chapter filled with tinsel, merry goodwill and all of that shit?
Because that is exactly not what we are having today.
Instead, our boy Neil is on a (potentially one-way) trip to Evil and Scary Raven Land of Doom.
FUN FUCKING TIMES AHEAD.
STRAP YOURSELVES IN.
           There was no way he could tell [the Foxes] the truth. None of them would let him go through with it.
Ya, guess why – cause it’s a dumb fucking idea, Josten.
No, no, I’m being unfair, I get it. I get why he’s doing it, and you know what? I’m not even judging him for doing it. My unhealthily loyal ass would probably do the same.
Neil tricks the Fox squad into letting him go to Evil and Scary Raven Land of Doom by telling them he is instead going to Angsty and Only Slightly Scary Land of Family Drama – which the Foxes buy, of course, as they all want to see Neil happily united with his family.
As do I, except I know that leaving Fox Tower puts Neil in the opposite direction of his family.
Brb crying softly.
           [Neil] had it half-packed when he realized the bag was too small. (…) Even when his bag was full there were things in his drawers. Neil was at once confused and heartened, and he pressed a hand to his folded shirts. It was proof he was coming back, something he hadn’t had since he was a child.
BRB WAILING LOUDLY.
Neil :((((( my boy :(((((( lifelong runaway :((((((((( has found a home to come back to :((((((((((((((
I’m fine, there’s just a bit of fox family feels in my eye.
           “I’m coming back,” Neil said, more for his sake than Kevin’s. “You promised you’d finish this year with me. I’m holding you to that.”
:((((((((((((((((((((((((((
You better come back, Josten. In one piece, healthy and with ya boy Andrew in tow, holding hands preferably. YOU BETTER.
           He’d been raised to run, to sacrifice everything and everyone to ensure his own survival. His mother had never gives him ground to stand on. Maybe that was why he hadn’t been strong enough to save her in the end. A jumble of lies had nothing to fight for.
           But Neil was a Fox. Andrew called this home; Nicky called him family. Neil wasn’t going to lose any of it.
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Ya girl’s gotta have her holiday appropriate reaction GIFs.
And with that, our favourite sassy (and recently self-sacrificing) angstbag leaves for West Virginia.
           Jean was waiting for him in arrivals. (…) “You shouldn’t have come here.”
When even the Fucker™’s lieutenant knows you fucked up, then you really fucked up.
Jean Valjean and Neil leave for Edgar Allan, and upon arriving Neil finds that not only do the Ravens all own the exact same uniforms, formal wear, and bitchy facial expressions, they also have matching squad cars. With like, customized licence plates and stuff, for extra Extra-ness.
           “This isn’t a team,” Neil said. “It’s a cult.”
And little did I fucking know, this was going to be the spot-on summary for everything that followed in the next couple of pages.
The Ravens take “squad goals” to a whole another level – meaning a level no sane human would ever fucking want to get on.
Everything is black – from their walls to their furniture to their sheets to their towels. Heck, to their fucking team underwear, probably.
Evil and Scary Raven Land of Doom? Scratch that. Extra and Dramatic Raven Land of Trying Too Hard, more like.
Even their fucking hallway is on brand.
           Everything was painted black, the pnly light and color was a red tube of light down the middle of the ceiling. It wasn’t quite bright enough. When Jean slammed the door behind them Neil almost tripped down the stairs.
Okay, but how do they not trip down there all the time. My clumsy ass would have gotten more bruises from that staircase alone than from actual Exy games.
You know you’re in Extra and Dramatic Raven Land of Trying Too Hard when even the staircase is bootcamp.
But seriously: Living surrounded by so much black, always subterranean except for class or away games, essentially locked up with a bunch of people who form a military hive mind, but no real friendships?
You can bet your ass all Ravens walk out of there with a nice little cocktail of mental health issues.
And oh, look – Riko’s got his ones already.
           It gave Neil chills to see [Kevin’s] space preserved like this. It was like Kevin had gone out on an errand, not that he’d transferred to another team entirely.
           “Riko’s in denial,” Neil said. “Someone should tell him Kevin isn’t coming back.”
Nice to see that our boy Josten doesn’t plan to shut his too-sassy mouth any time soon.
I mean, it would generally be exponentially better for his general survival, but what a dull chapter that would be.
Immediately after his arrival, Neil is shown to the stadium, and while that is impressive and all, the fuckery starts once again when he his shown to his jersey – and yes, his jersey.
Apparently, expecting his – ahem – “transfer” in summer, the Ravens had him a full gear made, name on the back and all that jazz.
“That jazz” here being things like selling his soul and at least 1 1/2 kidneys to the god of Extra, probably.
HOW ARROGANT ARE THESE PEOPLE, Jesus fucking Christ.
However, when Neil disrespects the Holy Raven Uniform, things starts to get interesting:
           “Ravens operate on a pair-based system, which means from now on until you leave I am the only ally you have. My success is your success,” Jean said. “Your failure is my failure. (…) Do you understand? They want us to fail. They want to take starting line-up from me.”
Holy hell.
Things just got massively, massively interesting.
First of all: WHAT THE FUCK. What sort of twisted attempt at companionship is this, forcing people to depend on each other – and only each other, mind, as the Ravens are forbidding from having friends outside the team.
Second of all: Well, well, well. Apparently, Neil is not the only one who has something to lose. As far as I can tell, Jean Valjean’s future is in Neil’s hands.
Bread guy, what did you do to make Coach Fucker™ so mad at you?
Whatever it is – Neil is now expected to play with the Ravens, of course. And hopefully not die, that would be spleen-fucking-did.
           “The master is moving you to defense where you belong. He will want to know why you abandoned your position. I hope you have a good explanation for him.”
Seriously, can they like… chill on the whole master thing?
I know it’s supposed to be scary and intimidating, but honestly, it just makes them downright ridiculous.
I don’t even know if that’s on purpose. I hope it is, but if this is seriously supposed to be intimidating, that is some bad fucking writing. Sorry, but also not sorry.
Jean Valjean blabs on some more about the master and belonging to the Fucker Family™ and bla, bla, bla – and just as I was about to get seriously annoyed by it, he nonchalantly drops the single greatest bit of information in this chapter.
           “Kevin is not like us; he is valuable but he is not property in the same sense. He escaped because he had family to run to.”
           “Andrew?” Neil guessed.
           “I said family, you hard-of-hearing imbecile,” Jean said. “His father. Your coach.”
WHAT
WHAT IN THE FUCKING WHAT
W Y M A C K???????????
KEVIN’S D A D??????????¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿???????
I had to put the book down and just straight up YELL for a second.
ACTUAL FOX DAD WYMACK.
LIKE, ACTUAL ACTUAL BIOLOGICAL FUCKING DAD WYMACK.
DADMACK.
Y’all knew this and kept quiet about this, I am so proud.
Also DADMACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
           “If you don’t believe me, look for yourself. The last time I saw his mother’s letter it was tucked inside one of those broing book of his. He’s read it so many times he might have worn the words off the pages by now, but it’s worth a shot.”
The mental image of angsty teen Kevin poring over this letter that’s promising him a family beyond the cruel black walls of this abuser’s prison, reading it so many times the paper almost falls apart, tear stains etched onto the pages, is doing things to me.
YOU GUYS, I’M HAVING FEELINGS.
Ahem. All good, all good.
On with the program.
           “You’re all insane,” Neil said.
           “Says the runaway who joined a Class I team,” Jean said. “Says the man who came here today when he should have run. You are no better than the rest of us.”
……Damn, bread boy. Jean Valjean here has got a point, y’all.
Neil, stunned by that unexpected Too Real shade, even manages to put on his uniform.
           “I can’t even keep my ten?” Neil asked.
           “(…) This number suits you better. Did you know? In Japanese, ‘four’ and ‘death’ sound the same. It is only appropriate that the Butcher’s son should wear this number.”
Also, of course, he is fourth in line after Riko, Kevin and Jean, and together they naturally for the Raven’s Awesome Exy Dream Team that is Definitely Happening.
Dream the fuck on, drama boys.
(A tiny voice on the back of my mind is reminding me that I have seen Neil wear a small ‘4’ tattooed on his cheekbone in countless fanarts and cosplays.)
(A tiny voice is getting swiftly ignored.)
Neil has to strip in front of Jean Valjean in order to test his uniform, over which he is surprisingly not angsting out as much as I thought he would. Character Development Josten strikes again, y’all.
And just as I was beginning to wonder when the actually bad shit would happen – here comes the fuckery.
           Neil looked back to see Tetsuji and Riko in the doorway. Tetsuji had brought an ornate walking cane with him. Neil had never seen him with it before and hope that meant Tetsuji was suffering some sort of injury or illness.
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That Fucker, Senior™ embraces the traditional Dramatic and Slightly Disturbing Moriyama fashion and orders our boy Josten to kneel.
Neil, of course, embraces the traditional Hilarious, Yet Suicidal Josten fashion and sasses himself straight in his own grave.
           “You will kneel,” Tetsuji said.
           Neil had a feeling he was going to regret this for the rest of his very short life, but he smiled and said, “Make me.”
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Neil, sweetie, I love you so much, but in your own self-interest please learn to shut the fuck up.
           He saw the cane come up, but it was too fast for him to dodge. (…) Tetsuji didn’t stop beating him until he finally passed out.
What the fuck, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS FUCKER SENIOR. WHY.
WAS THIS NECESSARY.
The answer is: In Moriyama world, yes.
And not enough with that – freshly woken up from his pain-induced power nap, Neil is expected to play.
As in, play Exy.
As in, play Exy in a position he hasn’t played in forever, with a team literal leagues above him, with a physical state that should be in a hospital, not on a court.
Oh, also Riko hits him every time he comes near him, which is all the fucking time.
So, you know. FUN TIMES ALL AROUND.
           Every time Neil fell, though, Jean was there to pull him off the ground. (…) They were in this together, just like Jean warned Neil. Every time the other team scored they were both punished.
I’d love to thank Jean for doing this and for being kind of the only person Neil has in this hellhole of a temporary home, except we know Jean is not doing this because he’s such a nice fucking person, but because he got assigned to do it. And by “assigned” I mean “threatened into doing it”.
Still, this sets the stage for Jean potentially becoming a likeable character in the future, and I’m excited to see what comes of this angry French baguette.
           “You ignorant child. This is the Raven’s Nest. We go by our time, not yours. We run on sixteen-hour days. You’ll see.”
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wE gO bY oUr TiMe, NoT yOuRs, wE rUn oN sIxTeEn-HoUr DaYs
ARE YOU FOR REAL
WHAT LEVEL OF ARROGANT AND EXTRA
I am so fucking done.
Except, I’m not – I wish I was, because that would have made the next bit a bit more bearable.
Here goes the one actually scary part of this chapter.
           Riko sat sideways on the mattress besides Neil. He looked at Neil like he was imagining skinning Neil alive and feeding Neil the bloody scraps. His expression said he was getting off on the fantasy.
HELL FUCKING NOPE.
           “I am going to love hurting you,” Riko said, “like I loved hurting Kevin.”
           “You are one seriously fucked-up individual,” Neil said.
Neil, sweetie, do you remember that part about possibly shutting the fuck up.
They tie Neil to the bed. Awesome. As if I didn’t have enough horrible mental images from this series that involve people gripping headboards.
Also, did I mention the part where Riko has a fucking switchblade.
           “Who is your King, Nathaniel?” Riko asked.
           Neil spat in his face.
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There’s a cool lil list of Things You Could Have Possibly Done In That Situation, and this is not fucking on it.
Of course, Riko now lets Neil make the questionable acquaintance of his knife – which is to say, he almost fucking guts him.
What the fuck. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck.
Neil, I love you, and I appreciate your sass in all its forms, but this has just become 50 Shades Of Fucked Up just now.
Phew.
Dreaded Christmas chapter done.
Surprisingly, though – this chapter did not shock me as much as I thought it would. I went in this expecting the Absolute Worst, and though it did hit me pretty hard I was kinda… prepared, I guess? Thanksgiving was definitely much, much worse.
Which does not mean I am not still going ‘WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK’ in a continuous loop in my head.
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