#I couldn’t do enough if I worked straight from now till the exam on Monday

[helloidkwhatimdoing-0]

Clawing at the walls of my enclosure

[vocalyunho]

best friends or? (part 1)

Pairing: Wooyoung x Female Reader Genre: fluff, light smut Word Count: 1,2k

A/N: hi,hello~ I’m reposting this bc I accidentally deleted it...it’s my first posted work and i hope you enjoy it even a tiny bit. It’s supposed to have a smutty part 2, but I’ll only write one if people enjoy this one ;u; 🌱

You and Wooyoung had been friends since the first year of high school. This friendship came literally out of nowhere since the only reason you guys started interacting was a group project in which you were in the same group. By the end of high school though, you ended up being best friends...

You really loved Wooyoung and you knew he loved you just as much by the way he was always treating you and by always being by your side during happy and sad moments.

When you guys were studying your asses off to get into college he would offer to have ‘best friends study sessions’ which actually were an oasis in the desert for u since you ended up having so much fun during these, when you decided to break up with your then boyfriend bc this relationship wasn’t bringing out of you the best version of yourself, Wooyoung gave you a whole lecture about how toxic relationships are the worst and you don’t deserve to be in one of those because you’re too nice and deserve the world.

But you were also always here for him...when the results of the finals were out and Wooyoung made it into his 2nd college choice you made sure he KNEW this was a whole achievement. You’ll always remember the lecture you gave him that day bc you said so beautiful and encouraging things you never knew you would be able to say.

Now 2 years into college not only was Wooyoung your best friend, but also your flat mate and your fellow student in some classes since you studied in different departments.

The only difference by your side is that the past couple of months you couldn’t help but notice many little details on him and on his behaviour...you would find yourself unable to stop staring at how veiny his arms and hands were or how his knuckles were kind of hairy or even the way his lips curled up into a smile if you told him something funny. And then at nights you would just overthink his little actions during the day...how he would offer you a glass of water out of nowhere and shout “STAY HYDRATED” or even how he always asked you how class was.

You didn’t brush all these thoughts off because you knew they meant something for you, something you were scared of accepting...

Your schedule had been hectic lately and your days just as chaotic...and all that because the exams were close and the feeling of failing even closer. Both Wooyoung and you would attend classes in the morning, come back home to study for hours and then sleep till the next day started and the same things happened. You couldn’t even have your “late dinner dates” anymore where you just ate unhealthy snacks and binge watched series, because studying made you sleep early or stay up till really late until you fell asleep on your desks.

It was a Friday night, already 12:40 am, and you were still studying until you heard a knock on your bedroom door. Your eyes were heavy from the need to sleep but you answered with a soft “come in”. Turning your head towards the door you saw a tired Wooyoung, with his white t-shirt and grey sweatpants on, having a fixed but genuine small smile on his face. You felt your heart beating louder in your ears as it hit you how much you’ve actually missed him these past weeks...

“can we spend some time together, please? I really need it”

“sure, Wooyoungie...I was about to stop right here anyways, I can’t study any more tonight”

He came inside your bedroom and closed the door with a soft click. Sitting on your bed, he crossed his legs like a little child and stared at you still sitting on your desk without saying a word. Looking at him in the eyes you cracked a smile and said

“is that how you wanted us to spend time together?? say something!”

“okay but come over here first”.

You made your way on your bed and sat on it using the same position as Wooyoung, facing him and waiting for him to speak. You knew he wanted to tell you something, maybe something important, because you knew him too well for your own good. There was no way he’d come in your bedroom this late on a Friday night while you both were studying for the exams that started on Monday morning, just to spend some time with you.

While waiting for him to speak, your eyes made their way up and down his body slowly and painfully for your own good. He looked so good in all comfy clothes and his hair was so beautifully messy, like he had been making out with someone before coming in there...

“I know how you feel” he blurted out and got you out of your thoughts in an instant.

“what?” your eyes got fixed on his own immediately.

“I’ve seen how you look at me lately, it’s not the same way you always did. I’ve also felt you shiver while I was whispering to you during a movie and for God’s sake I just saw you checking me out like 10 seconds ago” he said with enough force to make you feel like he was mad.

“I didn’t??” you said. Your voice came out louder and stronger than you thought it would and your eyes, filled with regret, looked straight into his eyes. The only thing in your mind was how stupid you were to make it this obvious that you felt things for him.

“if you don’t quit looking at me like this, I’ll fuck you right this instant”

“what?” your eyes widened as he glanced at your lips and back up into your eyes.

“I’m not even kidding, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been thinking about you...and us...in a different way” he said as he scooted closer to you.

You didn’t bother going back, you wanted to be this close to him and even closer than that. Now it was your turn to lean forward and he was the one who made your noses touch.

“what do you mean you’ve been thinking about us?”

“I’ve been thinking about you for months in, like, a different way. It’s not the friendly or platonic love anymore. It’s...stronger than that”.

“but...if you knew how I felt all this time, why didn’t you make a move earli-?”

He closed the remaining space between your faces with a forceful move. His lips were on yours in a second...his breath was hot and his body was so close to yours that you shivered under his touch again.

It was slow but with each breath you were taking it got sloppier and heavier. His hands went up on your cheeks and stayed there while his tongue brushed on your lower lip, mindlessly asking for access. Your lips parted enough for his tongue to slip inside and make the kiss even more passionate. Your hands were on his thighs, supporting your upper body and your mind was all over the place.

Leaning back on your bed, you tugged on the end of his t-shirt forcing him to get on top of you. He instinctively put his hands on each side of your face, his arms keeping him up right above you.

He distanced his face from yours a bit so that he could look into your eyes and you took a deep breath realising you had just made out with your high school best friend and were holding strong feelings for him all this time...

part 2

[happylifechanges]

So labor

I know you all are dying to read about my labor adventure since you’ve been following me since my first post about first trimester truths.

So at 3 in the morning on Monday on June 11 I thought I had to pee. So I went and then went back to bed, then 10 minutes later I thought I had to pee again. Realized I didn’t so I rode them out till 330 just to make sure then woke up Aj so he could time them. They went from every 10 to every 8 to every 5 by 430 and then stayed at 5 minutes apart till 530 and Aj was like ok we should go. But I didn’t want to. The pain was manageable and We actually had a doctors appointments at 840 so I wanted to wait. Aj was getting nervous so I called my mom and she came over around 6 and waited it out with us until the doctors appointment. The doctor told me I was only dilated 2 cm so it was to early to be admitted.

Went home, Aj went to work and mom stuck around for a little bit and then even she left for a little bit because the contractions backed off to every 20 minutes. I got a nap in and ate some cheeze it’s. But I didn’t want to eat too much because I didn’t want to poop during labor. That was a rea fear y’all. My contractions came back around 11:30 am being every 5 minutes. So I called Aj just to warn him and before I could call mom, Aj called her and she came over. I then labored at home with mom there helping me. Y’all my mom is a champ. Talking me through each contraction. Rubbing my back. Talking me through the breathing. I started to think that if I breathed faster it would make the contraction go by faster... it didn’t. Most of my contractions were really tolerable, I started to understand why some moms can make it through without drugs.

Aj got home at 4 and I kept laboring until 630 when I decided I wanted drugs.

Unfortunately the hospital is going under major renovations and we could not find the entrance to labor and delivery. We found the valet, but he was not helpful with directions. Aj dropped mom and I off at what we thought was the entrance, it was not. We ended up walking for about 10 minutes through a maze and when we got to the office to check in, had another contraction and then they are asking me all these questions and I have to fill out paperwork and it was incredibly stupid in my mind. I had pre-registered. I thought the whole point of that was so I didn’t have to do any paperwork or think.

Anyways, they put me in triage and had me change into the gown and I layed down in bed and waited around. They asked me questions, they took blood, I had very very painful contractions (mom coaching me through the whole thing) and then they had to examine me and see how far along I was. THEY WERE HORRIBLE AT EXAM! Mom wanted to punch the nurse in the face. I was already in pain from contractions in labor and now this stranger is causing me pain and not even apologizing for practically making me scream. When that was done, I kept asking about the epidural and the nurses sucked at communicating that they had to send my blood down to labs to actually prove I could handle the epidural... yes you read that right... because apparently there are women that can’t. I would have given up if I had been one of those women. Anyways, I was crying and in so much pain and I just kept thinking that Aj was dissappointed in me because I wasn’t strong enough. Crazy thought right. But he eventually told me that I was doing good and that helped. Husbands make sure to tell your wives daily in the beginning of labor and right after the baby is born how proud you are of her. She wants to be seen as brave and strong but giving birth is scary and as a first time mom there is no way you can prepare yourself. So husbands be a great cheerleader.

Anyways it took Aj getting on the speaker asking for pain meds to get them to tell us why we were waiting. Then they took me and wheeled me over to a delivery room. Riding in the bed was a weird experience. I compared it to being backboarded but more comfortable because it was a bed. However when you are having contractions it makes you motion sick. Once we got to the delivery room I was able to have Aj help me labor by holding me up while I was waiting for my epidural.

Getting an epidural is weird. It just is. The pretty anesthesiologist comes in and starts to tell you how you’re gonna get this miracle shot and you’re totally listening but then a contraction comes on when she gets to the part on how the drugs actually work and you stop listening and then you kinda register she is saying that there are risks and here’s what they are but let’s be honest you’re really just focused on breathing. And then when your contraction ends she says do you agree? Sure lady, I totally agree with everything you were saying because I was completely focused on it.

Then she starts to prepare you and then another random lady comes in and she says basically you’re gonna hug me and put your head down on my chest, basically embracing her bossum— not making this up. And then the pretty anesthesiologist says she is gonna put a needle in your back and while you are trying to stay calm and relaxed and not move the needle hits and it hurts and the only thing you can squeeze is this strangers hips while your head is nestled in her chest. It’s so weird. And then they give you a catheter which ya know, means you don’t have to get up to go pee, but it’s also incredibly weird. It goes against everything you’ve learned since potty training. You just have to be free. I just kept telling myself you’re in the river or ocean (because we’ve all peed there) and then it got easier to deal with.

But beside all of that, the relief. Oh. My. Goodness.

It was great!!! No more contractions, I think I got some sleep even. It was great. Well at first. As the night went on, my legs got heavier and heavier, to the point where we had to call Aj to lift my legs because I had no control over them. Absolutely could not feel them, I would try and lift and my mom would be like you have to lift them... I am! In reality I had lifted them maybe an inch off the bed. You also have to flip sides every thirty minutes. I hated it. Every time the act seemed monumentous and I was literally just rolling over. I had no control over the lower half of my body.

Sometime during the night I’m being woken up by my mom saying I need to roll over to my right side right now. I remember struggle bussing it but I did it. Apparently Henry’s blood pressure just DROPPED. which obvi isn’t good. But rolling over brought it back up. We tried again on the left side later that night but he wasn’t having it for whatever reason. The problem with that though was he wasn’t able to turn to get in position for the birth canal. Mom kept saying if you could get on your hands and knees he would turn, but guess who had no control over the lower half of her body? So yeah that wasn’t happening.

You know how on TV the pregnant lady’s water breaks and then she is all cute and glamorous while waiting to dilate? Example: Rachel Green in Friends. Well they are sooooo wrong. It’s just gross. My water broke when I was at 8 cm and being examined (side note: every time I was examined except by the doctor it hurt like hell, even with the epidural) and then yes there is an initial gush but then it keeps coming. It leaks down your legs and the catheter is still there and you’re also conscious of not wanting to poop during labor, and you can’t wash yourself. You just feel gross.

Well when they examined me again, another gush came out and this time it came with more than just water, it came with poop. Yep, Henry got fed up being inside me that he pooped inside me. That meant, c-section. Right away.

I was told that my mom and Aj got to come with me but would be coming later as they had to get me set up. So I was wheeled again into a surgery room. Doesn’t look like anything on TV, the room was brightly lit and had the big lights over the operating table. I was EXTREMELY COLD. I could not stop shaking. They moved me over to the operating table using this cool wood thing. Then I was told to lay my arms straight out like Jesus. And they put this blanket on me and pumped hot air through the blanket and it was AMAZING. I don’t remember when they put the drugs in, but then I had the doctor asking me if I could feel this or this below my chest and I couldn’t at all. I did get nauseous, and they put an alcohol swab on my nose. Apparently that combats nausea which is cool. At some point Aj and Mom got there and I remember seeing Aj and feeling so relieved. Seriously that man is my rock.

Before surgery started, they asked me my name, birthday, and what they were doing to me. I told them that they were cutting the baby out of me and everyone laughed. That’s the last thing I truly remember until mom said, oh Katy Henry is out and he is beautiful and I heard him crying at 5:51 am.

They brought him around the curtain and he was NOT beautiful. He was blue. And had a bunch of funk on him and honestly looked HUGE. But he was crying and out and as far as I could tell healthy. He was taken to get washed off and then the next thing I remember is mom bringing him up and me being able to kiss his forehead three times. Then being told he was going to the NICU for all the tests and Aj was going with him. I panicked in my mind because Aj and Henry were both leaving me and I didn’t want to be without them but logic ran over panic and crushed it reminding me that Henry needed to go to the NICU and Aj was gonna be there with him.

Somehow I got back to my room and was asleep, blissful sleep. I remember coming in and out of sleep and don’t remember people until Aj came in and updated me on Henry. Then around 8:30 I was told I was being moved to the mom and baby wing and I would get to see Henry along the way. I was wheeled once again down the hall to the NICU specialist and I got to hold him and tried breast feeding which honestly I had no idea how to do. Two nurses were around me helping me out but kept staring at me and Henry. I didn’t cry at the sight of him but I was really happy to see he was okay. Then after we tried for about 10 minutes I was rolled up to my room where Aj was and I got to nap some more and then Henry came in and everything was good.

It’s Thursday and I have been at the hospital since Monday. I have realized that women get shamed for having c-sections, even by doctors. Like, my doctor apologized that I couldn’t deliver vaginally and looked at me all sad like but honestly I could care less. I wanted to come out healthy and I wanted Henry to come out healthy. I didn’t care how it happened.

I also feel judged about using formula but not from the hospital from the world. It’s also pro breast and feed in public and no shame and women are powerful hear me roar stuff. I’m all for breast feeding and making free food for your child. But when your child loses 10% of their body weight and the doctor prescribes formula, you do the formula. Thankfully I get to breast feed and do formula but I’m totally okay with it. Because Henry is healthy and happy.

I’ve also realized that being in the hospital this long is AMAZING. Sure, my bed isn’t that comfortable and I’m very thankful I brought my own shower towel because hospital towels are awful. Being here is just a blessing because I get to meet with lactaction consultants every day. They are amazing and super informative. They have helped so much with breast feeding. Also the nurses are so nice. I also don’t have to cook! It’s really great.

We go home tomorrow after Henry gets snipped and I’m actually excited. Today I spent most of it alone because Aj had to work and I did okay. I know not every day will be easy but I’m gonna take it day by day with this little one and he and I will figure out how this works together.

Thanks for reading my super long post!

[theleftoverurl]

So many updates so frequently! I think this is the most often I’ve written this journal thing for a while. Today was nice, I sort of struggled getting out of bed because my body was lowkey trying to catch up sleep from Long Island Night. Lola came to say good morning which was nice, and I made some ants on a log (celery, peanut butter and sultanas) for a breakfast snack (letting Lola have some sneaky licks of my fingers as I went). I was by that point already 5 minutes late for the bus, so I put my logs in the fridge and went off to class.

It was 2 CMTs in a row. Katie was also late, so we sat together in the back, and then Kuheli came in after and sat next to me. She was a bit annoying about the CMT because our oncology tutor likes to go around the room asking questions and that really stressed her out. Given that though, she didn’t pay a lot of attention and kept trying to photograph my notes which made me uncomfortable. I was able to answer a question from a tutor for the first time (what the difference between Hodgkin’s and non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma was – luckily, I did that lecture yesterday, so it was frosh). The first CMT was pretty good, even though I can’t remember what it was on. The second one wasn’t so good because it focussed mainly on the legal ramifications of not doing things properly – history, exam, etc. so it was straightforward.

After class, I sat outside WW whilst I waited for my ILP meeting with Drs Champion and Jaaniste at 12. I killed an hour very effectively and then I headed up to Sydney Children’s Hospital. I wasn’t quite certain that my meeting was at Sydney Children’s, but I didn’t really know where else it could be, and Dr Jaaniste had forgotten to give me the address. The lady at the front desk said that she was on level 3 or 4, so I sent her an email asking her where she was and went on a bit of a wild goose chase through the hospital looking for her or Dr Champion. The ladies on level 4 didn’t know who Tiina Jaaniste even was. Finally, on the level 3 office, one of the doctors remembered that she had moved her research to the Bright Alliance level 7, which thankfully, was down the road. She still hadn’t replied to my email, so I set off there, already 15 minutes late. When I reached the Bright Alliance, I headed straight up to level 7, only to find that there was nobody at reception and when I wandered around the level, there was nobody there at all, except one kid lounging around on a couch and a woman I assume to be her mother on the phone. Really lost, I headed up to level 8 because it was the only other level dedicated to research at the Children’s Hospital. She wasn’t there either, but as I was heading back down to 7 to lament and be confused, she replied with her mobile. I rang and luckily, I was in the right place!

She let me into a side office and I met her and David Champion. The two of them were very nice, and Dr Jaaniste seems very organised, she had a notepad and took down all my queries and what I was interested in. Dr Champion was less on the ball, and he was really selling me this twin study he wants to do and the relationship between growing pains and restless leg syndrome. I am a bit caught up in his excitement which is making me want to do the project, but if I try to think about it logically, I am not sure because of the lack of clinical work it entails, the fact that he can’t promise publication and how important the study really is (he obviously thinks it’s very important but how chronic is restless leg syndrome really?). He also was lovely but not a man with a sense of humour which is a shame. I got him to send me some articles on the two potential projects – testing chronic somatosensory pain and the twin study and I will read and review. I think I’m tempted to just settle because I have no idea how to proceed and find a different ILP from here, but then the want to just settle freaks me out and makes me think that I shouldn’t go with a project just because. There’s a lot of reflection to be done here.

After the meeting I headed down to Village to meet up with Kuheli for lunch. The original plan (which was lowkey just an excuse to hang out) was to go to Satriale’s which is a sandwich bar themed after The Soprano’s (not that I’ve watched that) on Anzac Parade, but Kuheli said she was sick of sandwiches given she has a Subway every day which, fair enough, to be honest. I wasn’t that set on the plan anyway, so we wandered down Anzac Parade until we saw a new restaurant opened by It’s Time for Thai. It was Korean cuisine, which was interesting, but called Sally’s Hot Pot and Grill. The décor and feel are modern, so we gave it a go, with half a mind to get a hotpot. However, Kuheli was worried about the two of us being able to finish one, and once I got over my greedy self I figured I don’t really need a hotpot, plus we are probably going to have one with the hospital group soon anyway. I ordered spicy bulgogi beef and she had a bibimbap and honestly, they were both really yummy and I was incredibly full afterwards (but I full on scraped all the sauce as well). Afterwards I passively dissuaded her from getting Chatime because I didn’t think I could physically fit that much liquid in me, and then hopped on the bus home. It was nice to catch up with Kuheli outside of class, we get on so much better when we are not trying to work together, probably because she is such a stress-head and we just have different opinions on shared experiences.

When I got home, nobody was in, but the dogs were barking at me from inside Veronica’s room, so I let them out to roam the house. I took out my ants on a log and scrolled Pinterest for ages, sneakily letting the dogs lick the peanut butter off my fingers each log. Then Veronica came back and took them out for wees and locked them back in her room (with herself). I continued to scroll, reading lots of travel blogs about Spain, because they were just coming up thick and fast on my Pinterest and getting my wanderlust on.

Then it was back to work, and I finished the lecture from today I skipped on Multimodal Cancer Therapy and started on Pancreas and GI Tumours. I didn’t get to finish though, because Veronica made pasta Bolognese for dinner (yummy, yummy, but a bit tomato paste-y) and then Kate and I had to watch Bachelor in Paradise! Now that it’s winding down it’s less interesting, but it’s still a lot of fun. American Jared walked, which was about time because honestly, he has made no connections at all in Paradise, and Apollo and Simone left Paradise together which was cute but also not really because I really don’t ship them together and lowkey hope they don’t last. This week on Sunday and next Monday is the double finale episode, I’m so excited because I’ll be down in Canberra with Sweta for the first lot and then back to end what we started with Kate on Monday. Whoo hoo!!!

Josh came back towards the end of the episode and Kate has 800 words to write for some essay, so I did the dishes and Josh cleaned the kitchen. It was nice and companionable, and I appreciated that he volunteered to do the dishes because he “didn’t do them at all last week” (which is true). I am glad that he’s got some self-awareness of the fact. It was good to chat with him in the kitchen, we get along well because I’ve met a lot of his type of person, so kind of know how to talk to him. I took out the recycling and he’s still in the kitchen now as I type this out.

I  think I’m going to treat myself and watch some Grey’s Anatomy tonight, but I also have to shower and I have to be careful not to be too late to anatomy at 9 tomorrow, because last time I was 7 minutes late and they locked me out so I couldn’t attend the class (I haven’t made it to an anatomy class yet and I really need to attend anatomy because I fricking failed last year). So I shall be careful with my bedtime for sure.

Anywho, till next time 😊

[genforwardlegacy-blog]

Ever done something, well, stupid that’s changed your life??

http://genforward.org/blog/what-if-how-one-decision-can-change-a-life/

Ok, let’s start today's GenForward blog here by saying that I’m pretty happy in my life right now. Yes it would be great to have a bunch more money, and to maybe have to do a bit less work, and maybe have a bit more in the way of actual family time, but hey the big things outweigh the little things.

I sometimes sit back and think about the madness that has been my life. Of how I went from being a small boy growing up in a small town in the county, to where I am now, sitting here in the USA, married to someone from another different country in Europe, doing what I’m doing and being happy. The odds are ridiculous.

My past has been filled with good times and bad, smart decisions and even more poor ones (but usually made with reasons of good intent). I have earned money in the hundreds of thousands per year, and I have been practically homeless. I have travelled all over the world and lived like a rock star, and more often I’ve barely scratched my way though to the next week.

All of it is what’s made the “me” that I actually like today. Much as some of the bad stuff I may fleetingly wish to change, I understand that it cannot happen and still give me the same end result. So instead of trying to change my past (when my son finally finishes inventing the time machine he’s been working on, with Lego and bits of cardboard box, then I may actually have a choice in changing the past, but for now...), I embrace it. I try to see what lessons can be learned and maybe passed on.

All of that being said, there are certain moments that I look back on and can see how they would have potentially changed EVERYTHING. Moments when my life would have gone on a track that was 180 degrees from where I ended up heading. Who can say where the journey might have ended in that case, maybe better, maybe worse. I think ultimately I would probably have been happier in my work for many years, however that’s by the by.

The incident in question was when I was 17 years old, shortly before I moved out of home (which is another story altogether). I had been born into the home computer revolution. All of my life I had been involved with computers, video games and electronics.

I got my first system in about 1976 or 77. It was a Binatone game system that you plugged straight into the TV.  Using this wonder of modern technology, me and my brother were able to battle it out in various “sports” involving a court with various bits filled in or missing.  There were 3 sides for squash, 2 sides with open ends for tennis, 4 sides with a hole at each end for football (soccer), and the game involved bouncing a square dot of a “ball” around with a stick of varying lengths (long for normal setting, short for pro).

Over the years I had exposure to everything from the Spectrum ZX81 with it’s amazing 1k of inbuilt RAM (you could upgrade by plugging in a small suitcase sized brick that gave you 16K), through my BBC B with which I started to learn BASIC programming, then to a series of Commodore machines (which were practically impossible to programme but had the best games).

I had always loved these things and could regularly be found down the local computer/CB radio store, acting as a pretend employee, technology expert and general gaming guru. When I hit 16 and left High School, I then picked up Computer Science as one of my Advanced Level subjects. I found it easy but didn’t do particularly well at the exam, primarily due to the mark being about 50% based on a programming exercise.

I had proclaimed that I would write a programme to catalogue my ever growing record collection. It was supposed to be carried out over several terms of homework assignments. Due to my usual fascination with beer rather than schoolwork, I ended up sitting in a corridor finishing off my project (18 months work condensed into 4 days) just as the envelopes were being sealed to send them off for marking. Needless to say, “Not his best work”, would have been a fair tagline.

So, next step was either university or work. Given that I had just spent 2 years avoiding education, my parents didn’t want to back me in going to university, to just bum about and throw away another two years or more. Besides, I wanted to go and earn some money. I had had a taste of proper money (well, over 100 pounds a week) working in a local bacon factory over the summer holidays, and I liked the feel of cash to burn.

My Stepfather was and IT Director for a big multinational firm at the time, and he was good enough to pull a few strings to get me an interview as a trainee computer programmer/systems designer, at a small IT firm about 15 miles away. This was right up my street, so I was well chuffed with the whole idea.

I went along for the interview which really consisted of a bunch of people being sat in a room and given an IQ test, followed by a 5 minute chat where I could impress them with my 3 week A level project, which had barely qualified for a grade, written in a coding language that they didn’t use.

Next thing I hear is that they want another talk. I am told when I turn up that although I had no experience, they were talking to me because I had scored higher in the IQ test than the guy who was running the company (had no idea what that meant then but it sounded good). I am also sure that my Stepfather probably had a finger in greasing the wheels. I was to join them and start the following Monday morning at 9am, sharp.

Well, I was there by 9am, but I wasn’t exactly “sharp”. You see I had been out to celebrate my new job on the Friday......and the Saturday.....and the Sunday night. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the Sunday night had involved crossing paths with a young lady, with whom I became quite smitten (not sure if alcohol was at play here but I had been smitten by her sister 2 nights earlier as well). Being naïve teenagers, living in the country and with no place to go, we left the pub (well after closing time as we were both regulars and the landlord was a believer in after hours “lock-ins”).

She was a little older than me and actually had a car (of sorts), so she drove me home and we parked outside my house. Then, how shall I put it, time kind of got away from me. By the time I could drag myself away, I had about 20 minutes to go and get showered and dressed, and to catch the bus that would take me to my new job. At this point, sleep was simply not an option. But hey, I was 17 and could officially handle anything.

I arrive at the new job and a complete doomsday scenario unfolds.

Instead of the engaging induction into the world of the company, and computers in general, that I had been expecting, I was greeted with a book. They explained that as I knew nothing, I should start by reading bit about the basics of programming in “C”, and that till I had an understanding of that they really couldn’t do anything with me.

I was led to a room where a couple of what looked like 20 somethings, clicking away at chunky computer keyboards. Apart from the click of the keys, there was silence. The room had no windows. Air conditioning in the UK is still few and far between; in 1987....well, just no, so it was hot. The book they gave me might as well have been titled “1001 ways to be certain not to stimulate any interest at all in your reader”. It had to happen.

I probably managed about 30 minutes before my eyes started to sting and get heavy. I made a trip to the toilet to splash water on my face. Good for maybe another 15 minutes, by now the room was spinning. More water. HELP!

Next thing I knew, I was prodded awake by the HR person who kindly informed me that, due to the fact that I had fallen asleep twice, and that my snoring was interfering with the other coders, my services were no longer required. They took back their book, and I was thrown out unceremoniously into the street, to wait for the next bus home.

My Stepfather got on the phone to the firm, and tried to explain a bit and fight my corner. It got to the point where it was conceded that the boss may have overreacted a bit, but now that he had, he wasn’t backing down. That couple of hours signaled the end of my career in computing.

Although I did have a genuine passion for computers and computing, as was generally the case back then, the education we had received bore no relation to what was wanted in the work place. Although I applied for other jobs, the next thing I got offered was a job in a local supermarket. To be fair, not exactly the toughest job to land. However it was money, and given that I had just decided to move out of home (and in with the girl whose attractions had so distracted me, so maybe it wasn’t just the drink), money mattered in a big way now as I had bills.

From there, I got promoted within a week, and that was the beginning of a long and varied path to where I am today. Although I do look back on that moment as pivotal in my life, and it’s one of those where the “If you could do one thing differently” question raises its head, as I have mentioned before, I don’t regret it. It would have changed a great many things in my life I’m sure, but that’s not my story now.  It’s done. I’m happy now.

Despite this, the reason I relate this story, and I have told this to my son as well, is to illustrate how one stupid decision (and lets face it, sitting up all night before you’re about to start a new job is pretty stupid, whatever the “excuse”), can change the course of a person’s life. Fortunately for me, it worked out ok in the end and it only really affected me.

The kind of bad decisions I really worry about my son making, are the ones like taking a drink and getting behind the wheel of a car, or not having the ability to say “No” to his friends, when every sane bone in his body should be screaming at him that what he’s getting involved with is wrong.

The kind of things that really have to take-backs, no do-over’s, it’s done. The problem is, you can tell your children all day long, but at the end of the day, there’s no reason they are likely to be any smarter than you or I were at that age. It’s kinda tough to explain to them how little they really know, especially as they progress though the dangerous teenage years with temptations of alcohol, drugs and sex lying there in front of them. That's a big part of why we came up with GenForward, to have the answers there for them without having to ask directly. You might not be lucky enough to get the question from them till after it's too late so some advice beats none.

They are already struggling to create their own personality and be their own person. Old enough to think they know everything, yet young enough to know next to nothing. Well, that was me at least and, though the world has changed a great deal since those times; people haven’t so much I think.