#I didn’t read about a woman literally eating the essence of the dead to become immortal at the ripe age of fourteen to have that show

[thepalerimitation]

Hey so uh. I started Dead Boy Detectives earlier today. And. I'm already on episode five? Any possible chance you have also seen it? And will possibly make art for it? The vibes are right up your alley.... :)

(and if you will make art for it, thoughts on drawing the boys looking at each under the words "Gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day"? Just an idea, no worries if not)

(you know, the supernatural quote)

Three things:

1. Lockwood and Co got canceled so I hate on it

2. Dead Boy Detectives is the worst name imaginable. Call them Resurrectionists and we might get somewhere instead of being a riverdale plot point

3. Punk weirdo and business casual boyfriend? You can’t fool me. That’s the Penguin/Riddler fanfiction they filed the serial numbers off of.

Thanks for the ask! 💖✨🫧

[snickiebear]

yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you. 

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them. 

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are. 

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok 

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. 

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn 

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL. 

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A. 

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip. 

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH. 

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about. 

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it. 

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it. 

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay. 

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time. 

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps. 

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing. 

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA  

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.” 

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic. 

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

[skvaderarts]

Hiraeth Chapter 12: Respiration

Masterlist can be found Here!

Chapter Twelve: Respiration 

Note: I’m going to go ahead and dedicate this arc to Owen Hamze, V’s likeness actor. He’s been going through a lot lately, and it parallels what happened in this fic in an eerie kind of way, as far as violence goes. Fiction aside, I hope he’s alright. Domestic violence is awful, and I’m sorry he’s been having to go through what he’s been going through.

(-~-)

Breath.

The ability for the human body -and many times much less human bodies- to intake the oxygen that they desperately needed to survive. The vital yet invisible literal lifeblood of the body that most beings couldn’t survive without, at least not for long. Without a simple but complex combination of molecules and atoms, nothing living was sustainable, and it was something that most everyone went through every day of their lives without giving a thought to unless they possessed a condition that made it difficult to them to do so. And up until that day, it had been something that he had never really thought much of, aside from the various times that he’d felt his lungs burning and his oxygen-starved body swaying and aching from a lack of it.

V missed the moments when he didn’t have to think about something so precious as though it were a privilege; the times when all he had to do was inhale and he was greeted by something so basic yet so essential to his very existence. Only the dead didn’t require it, as far as sapient beings went, and they would all be dead without it if they were deprived of it for very long. Their limbs would become limp and their essence would leave them, the useless sacks of flesh, adipose tissue, and muscle they had once depended on becoming nothing more than a negative impact on the carbon footprint. A heavy weight that meant nothing without blood circulation to carry vital components to their bodies that were needed to do literally anything. And what was one of those components?

Oxygen.

How he missed it now, given the state that he was in. How had it come to this? The darkness had pulled him under, his jump amounting to nothing in the very end other than to condemned him to the murky depths. Was it enough that the nefarious individuals who had sought to take his life from him for whatever purpose they served would now be deprived of their satisfaction? He hoped so vainly for the brief second that he was able to think before the air was stolen from his lungs and the light was stolen from his eyes. Never in his short life had he experienced such staggeringly cold water, not even in the moments that he had been forced into the river as a child. How distant that those days behind the menacing walls and buildings that he had once called home felt now. He imagined that the proprietors would feel a great sense of accomplishment and relief if they could see him now. How sure they would be if they could see him falter and fail that they had succeeded in crippling him so that his supposed evil nature could never be acted upon. They had thought that he was cursed then, and at this rate, he was almost ready to believe it now. But no. He would rather die than give them the satisfaction, even if they were right or they had no way of knowing. That was the only victory that he could see himself achieving over them in life. 

Living virtuously and prosperously was simply out of the question.

As he faded into blackness, he remembered seeing the night sky. How purple it had been, so beautiful and full of stars. If this was how it had to be, then he was thankful that it was the last sight he’d been granted the privilege of seeing. It was a small source of comfort to know that he could at least be at peace in this environment, none of the pain, sorrow, or. He wasn’t ready or willing to accept it, but he was willing to accept that some choices weren’t choices, and that the crushing existential horror that he felt in that moment would pass as quickly as it came regardless of what he had to say about the matter. Or at least that was what he thought. Who was to say what would actually happen at that moment. He wasn’t even sure what he believed, or if he believed in anything at all. 

But before he could ponder this, everything went completely black, and the world became still.

(-~-)

Morgan had been sitting there for hours, watching as the gurneys brought in person after person, doctors and nurses writing up and filing reports with grim efficiency and even grimmer expressions on their faces. This was all such a terrible mess, wasn’t it? Such a preposterous waste of life. And all for what? The temporary amusement of a few random madmen? Was that all this was? All that she’d lost her grandparents for?

People wandered about, filling the space around them with the sounds of footsteps, heavy breathing, and. Paper folded out of her line of view as relatives and well-wishers as well as horrified onlookers and shocked spectators filed down the corridors in a horrified rush to find out what had become of the people who had once resided in the small town of Lympha. She had never been so hyper-alert and yet completely distant before in her entire life, and there wasn’t a single thing that she could do to lessen the terror that she felt growing inside of her. A simple but all-consuming question eating away at her like an infection deep in her bones.

Where on earth was he?

Despite the fact that she had sat quietly and diligently in precisely the spot that she would have expected to have seen or heard something by now, there had been nothing. She eyed one of the nearby guards who had been stationed near her, the man glancing over at her as though he simply knew what she was thinking at that moment. Sympathy and annoyance were both present in his face in equal measure as he turned to face the young woman who had helped to make his eventful day even more eventful for the last two hours or so since she’d arrived in a crowded van along with a bunch of other disheveled strangers.

“Look, little lass. Before you ask me again, no. No, I’ve yet to hear anything back from my superiors about the matter at hand, other than the fact that they are combing the woods for any signs of them.” He paused, noting her dismay and hopelessness, her small shoulders falling as the gravity of the hopelessness that she found herself in weighed heavily on her. Perhaps crushing the last remaining remnants of a young and probably traumatized girl’s hopes to find her missing friend was not the best use of his time. “Look… Extra patrols have been despatched, and they are doing everything they can. That’s all I can say. I’m sorry. Really.”

Morgan nodded and sighed heavily, her elbows sliding forward as she used her open palms to cup her moist face, shivering as she finally allowed herself to begin to lose hope. “I know, sir. I know. I’ve just got to tell him that I’m sorry and that I’m grateful for everything. I’ve just gotta say something. I can’t live with it. With what he did for me. No, not like this. Not like this.”

But just as quickly as she’d begun to lose what little hope she had left, something caught her eye.

(-~-)

As if possessed by some otherworldly force, V felt his body lift up out of the frozen grass, his from soaking wet from the water that the ice had thinly concealed below its glossy, reflective surface. Every part of him down to the very marrow in his bones ached, and yet he felt no pain. He was freezing cold, but his body felt strangely warm. Although he was soaking wet, he didn’t feel the weight of his body as he dragged himself forward, his lungs emptying themselves of an impossible amount of water. It was as if the late had attempted to convert him into a part of itself, and there was nothing that he could to do escape the agony that he felt every time he inhaled and found his lungs practically frozen.

It was as if his body were compensating for his lack of mobility, a subconscious part of his brain noting that he was practically floating along despite the fact that he was heavier than he’d probably ever been. His skin prickled from the cold only to immediately become warm again even as the icy wind blew against him. His eyes watered only for the water to freeze and then become strangely warm given the circumstances. By all accounts, he should be dead. But it was as if he simply refused to lay down and die, some part of him too cold to freeze; his entire being fighting his condition in a way that seemed otherworldly and foreign to him.

Despite the fact that he couldn’t feel his right leg, he carried on. It was a numbness that he was familiar with, akin to the way that a limb felt when it went to sleep only much worse. There was a part of him that was sure that he would never be warm again, his body far past the reasonable threshold for hypothermia. While he wasn’t a medical expert, he could tell that much, and he remembered reading somewhere that once you started to feel warm because you were so cold, that that was the correct time to let panic set in since you were more than likely doomed. Medical science was incredible, but it could only do so much against odds like that. And despite everything, he still wanted to live. Maybe if he dug deep enough, he could continue forward just a little while longer?

One of the key issues with this plan was that he was simply walking aimlessly with no particular destination in mind. His feet carried onward like they knew where he was supposed to go despite the fact that he had literally no idea where he was going or how he was going to get there. It was surreal, but he didn’t have the strength or the willpower to act against whatever force drove him towards whatever his destination would turn out to be. That coupled with the fact that he seemed to be flashing in and out of consciousness meant that he couldn’t keep going much longer despite his seemingly inhuman drive to do so. 

His skin begged and pleaded with him to be covered with something, anything to stave off the elements, but he couldn’t oblige it. And as he carried on at a questionably rapid pace give his condition and the elements that battled against him, he couldn’t help but acknowledge the reality of the situation that he found himself in. something was genuinely unnerving about the amount of ground that he’d managed to cover in such a short amount of time. If he looked down at the ground, he wasn’t even sure he’d find evidence that he’d walked there. It was almost as though he’d simply moved his body to that location without his permission or direct input, and he didn’t know how to explain why or how it had happened, or the energy to object to it. He was simply there now, and that was all he could do about it.

Before long, against all odds, he saw the lights that lined the main highway, his mind trying and failing in his strangely energetic state to comprehend how he’d managed to walk here. It didn’t seem possible, yet here he was. Was it possible that he’d simply died and was now stuck in some strange idealistic limbo? Most certainly so, but he somehow knew that wasn’t the case in this situation despite the fact that stringing together any kind of coherent thought seemed nearly impossible. He exhaled heavily and stumbled forward, relieved and yet totally unsure as to why as he approached the road, eyeing it in a way that implied that he drew some measure of relief upon seeing it like it would offer him salvation of something. But perhaps that wasn’t too off base considering what happened only a short moment later.

The very instant that his legs finally became weak and he felt himself swaying unsteadily, V heard the sound of an approaching vehicle. By that point, he was too weak to even feel the fear that he knew he should have felt at the prospect of encountering what could be his enemies again. All his mind could focus on was the searing pain in his right leg and the full-body throbbing that threatened to sap every ounce of strength he had left. And as the patrol car came barreling into sight, V felt an ounce of relief was over him like a tidal wave as he hit the pavement and everything went black for the second time that day.

(-~-)

For a moment, all he could hear was the roaring of an engine, a vehicle that was too light to be the truck that had held him against his will spiriting him away to some unknown location. He vaguely remembered seeing lights along the street in the misty night sky, the fog that encompassed the area making everything brighter than it should have been. It was like he was caught in a fog machine, and all he could do was close his eyes again, despite the fact that he wasn’t really sure he’d actually opened them. All around him were the sounds of machinery and engines, and he wasn’t sure when the two became separate entities.

Then came the second set of lights, this time directly over his head as he felt himself moving forwards towards something. Warmth encompassed him as he registered the low hum of something unfamiliar near him once he stopped, his brain attempting to pull its self from the fog that he now metaphorically found himself stuck in. There was some part of him that knew that he was indoors, but he didn’t have the slightest idea how he knew that. Maybe it was the inviting warmth that he imagined he’d feel if every nerve ensign that had the misfortune of being attached to his skin wasn’t screaming like he’d been lit on fire. He wanted to muster the energy to speak up and say something about his condition to the other human beings who he could only imagine were around him, but he couldn’t, so instead, he focused on the rhythmic spinning of the wheels below him as they passed over a skip in whatever surface they found themselves on every few seconds or so.

Much to his surprise, he found himself stationary shortly thereafter, an obvious change in texture drawing him from his semiconscious state back into a more dreamlike level of consciousness. It was as though he’d just gone from laying on pavement or something equally as rigid and unyielding to being swaddled by the clouds themselves, his body not used to being in such an ergonomic state. It was strange, but not at all unwelcome. And finally, he registered the voices that he was willing to guess had always been there. At least two figures were standing somewhere nearby, and from what he could tell, they were discussing something pertaining to him.

“I’m sorry, you said his internal temperature was what now? That can’t be!”

“You know, that’s what I said! So I went and check again, and sure enough, it was right.”

“Everything I’ve ever been taught says it’s impossible to come back from an internal temperature that low! And you’re telling me that he’s, what, just on basic support? No Hypothermia, Renal System failure, or Frostbite or anything?!”

“Look, I didn’t say it made medical sense. I said that’s what happened. He just got incredibly lucky. I don’t know how else to even put it. It’s literally a miracle that he isn’t frozen solid right now. Aside from some kind of undefined injury to his leg that we’re currently investigating, he’s going to be totally fine somehow!”

“Well, geez. I’m happy for him, then. It’s about time we got some kind of positive news today. It’s good to see that at least one of these poor people is going to pull through and come back from the brink. Everything is such a mess. It’s a tragedy. I’m gonna see if that poor kid needs anything.”

They were doctors, and he was in some kind of emergency room. Suddenly everything became so clear to him as he peered over at them quietly, some part of him curious to hear what they had to say and equally unwilling to ask out of fear of being delivered a bad outcome. He was still alive, and he’d made it out of that place, even if he didn’t know who had found him and brought him the rest of the way. He would have to thank them in the future if he was able to. But as the reality of where he was and what he’d just experienced set in, so did an undeniable wave of relief and undefinable grief.

Somehow against all odds, he was still alive. He’d managed to escape with his life after everything had stacked the odds against him, and he was somewhere safe and warm and dry where those psychopaths couldn’t reach him. And he had no idea how to process that. But as soon as he could, he would. And then he would go and find Morgan. To see her safe; to know that she was in good hands would bring him closure. But for now, he would allow himself to rest and recover. Something told him that whatever was going on with his leg was going to prevent him from going anywhere anytime soon, and so it was best to let his body take its natural course and for him to relax and recover as best as he could.

With the day they’d both had, it was the least he could do. And he hoped that wherever Morgan was, she was doing the same. Something told him she wasn’t far off.

(-~-)

This chapter hits different now. Yikes.

Phew! It’s been a while since I’ve written a chapter this early in the morning. Well, time to go to bed! It’s Monday morning now, and I have things to get down tomorrow so that I can go to bed on time and get up Tuesday morning to write again lol! Literally, my entire life schedule revolves around the release schedule of this fic now. It’s crazy, but it’s the only thing giving my life structure during this quarantine. And yet, in spite of it all, I’m just glad that I have time to write again. Gosh, it’s been forever.

If you haven’t already, check out the link I posted at the end of the last chapter of the fic. I’ll be taking submissions from now until the end of time, so that might be fun for you. And to the FF.N readers: do you actually exist? My statistics and stuff don’t work, but I haven’t heard from you all in about 30 chapters. Everything alright?

Anyway, see you all on Friday, and remember: I adore you all! Take care and stay safe!

[marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer]

MTVS Epic Rewatch #210

BTVS 7x22 Chosen

Stray Thoughts

You know what? I don’t think I am, Buffy.

1) You know the baddy’s fate is sealed when they dare call Buffy a bitch, right?

2) Watching Buffy ax Caleb right in the balls and then make puns about it fills me with infinite joy.

3) I think you all know by now I’m not a Bangel shipper, so I wonder how Angel shippers feel about Buffy and Angel’s last on-screen conversation being about Spike. Doesn’t it feel a bit like a wasted opportunity? It’s not really OOC for Angel to act jealous and possessive (even though in the universe of the show he’s spent the last two years approximately being in love with Cordelia, so why does he think he has any right to question Buffy’s love life? Anyway, I know that’s the writers' fault – how they always blatantly ignored whatever was happening in each show for the shippy crossover moment – but the end result is that Angel looks like a two-timing asshole who can’t make up his mind about what or who he wants.) But like, the world is ending, this is what you want your last conversation to be…?

4)

He is. He is a 200+ years old man-child-pire.

5) The cookie dough speech, though? One of my favorite speeches in the show…

I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat… or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then...that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done.

I think it’s one of the finest messages the show delivered, and it’s especially important coming from Buffy herself, someone who was seldom not in a relationship.

6) Callback #1…

This parallels both  Angel’s first appearance in the show in Welcome to the Hellmouth as well as his exit from the show in Graduation Day Part 2.

7) Oh, Xander…

8) Of course, the shipping wars wouldn’t be complete without Spuffy talking about Angel. Guh.

9) Iconic!

You know, one of these days I'm just gonna put you two in a room and let you wrestle it out. There could be oil of some kind involved.

One can only dream!

10) This gives me a lot of feels… It’s such a small gesture but it means she finally trusts him.

11) You see what I mean when I say the First was fucking idiotic? Always giving Buffy the precise information she needed in order to defeat it? I mean…

None of those girlies will ever know real power unless you're dead. You know the drill: Into every generation, a slayer is born. One girl in all the world. She alone will have the strength and skill to— There's that word again. What you are. How you'll die. Alone. Where's your snappy comeback?

Like, seriously, do you even want to destroy the world? You’re not trying real hard!

12) Yeah, you fucking are!

13) See? Cut to the next morning, Buffy is telling the others her plans, inspired by none other than the First itself! I don’t think she would’ve thought of it if he hadn’t mentioned the fact that they needed the potentials to have real power, the power of a slayer.

14) Sweet, innocent Dawnie!

WILLOW This goes beyond anything I've ever done. It's a total loss of control, and not in a nice, wholesome, my girlfriend has a pierced tongue kind of way.

BUFFY I wouldn't ask if I didn't think you could do it.

WILLOW I—I'm not sure that I'm stable enough.

GILES You can do this, Willow. We'll get the coven on the line, and we'll find out how they can help.

DAWN Oh! "Pierced tongue."

15) This line always gives me chills!

16) Although their conversation is cute…

ROBIN Faith—Make me a deal, all right? We live through this, you give me the chance to surprise you.

FAITH What would be the surprise?

ROBIN You do know the meaning of the word, right?

I really don’t see the point in spending precious minutes of a finale on these two. If we needed Faith to get closure with anyone, that was Buffy.

17) I don’t actually hate Kennedy on this episode. Wow. I never thought I’d say that.

18) How the mighty have fallen…

Although I think I missed the part where he was a “highly respected watcher”... 

19) And then this scene…

I’ve talked about it before, so I’m going to leave you the link in case your interested to know what I make of it as a Spuffy shipper.

20) Oh, Anya…

ANYA So that leaves me and the dungeon master in the north hall?

ANDREW We will defend it with our very lives.

ANYA Yes, we will defend it with his very life.

XANDER And don't be afraid to use him as a human shield.

ANYA Good, yes, thanks!

21) aNDREW HAD A FUCKING SPEECH PREPARED, I CAN’T!

22) Now, this is what this season should’ve been about…

23) And callback #2…

24) Ok, this is one my greatest movie/tv pet peeves. Why would anyone cut their hands? I get it, you need blood or whatever. I can think of 10 parts of your body you could get it from which wouldn’t be as inconvenient as your hand. Like, how do they continue doing things with a fucking open wound on the palm of their hands? It doesn’t make any sense! And it’s always the fucking hand! WHY!?

25) This is probably the scariest shot in the show, isn’t it? (even if the CGI wasn’t that great…)

26) Oh, man, this speech still gives me chills!

BUFFY So here's the part where you make a choice: What if you could have that power... now? In every generation, one slayer is born... because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule. They were powerful men. This woman is more powerful than all of them combined. So I say we change the rule. I say my power... should be our power. Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of the scythe to change our destiny. From now on, every girl in the world who might be a slayer... will be a slayer. Every girl who could have the power... will have the power... can stand up, will stand up. Slayers... every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?

I love it. I do. It is an empowering moment, it’s Buffy and the slayers breaking free from the Council, taking back the power that was imposed onto them, choosing that power.

The irony is not lost on me, however, that Buffy is making the choice for – and therefore removing the agency of – every single potential slayer who is not in that room. She did ask the ones living with her, but what about the rest? What if they don’t want that power and its responsibility?

In spite of this, it still holds up as one of the greatest moments in the show.

Side note: I read somewhere (or saw an interview?) about how this speech was much longer, and how SMG delivered the whole speech in its entirety without making any mistakes, and when she ended everyone was so in awe at what she’d done as an actress that they started clapping. She is a great actress, isn’t she?

27) And our Willow has come full circle, hasn’t she?

28) Iconic shot!

29) Bless you, Anya!!

30) …

R.I.P. Anyanka Emanuella Jenkins, former vengeance demon, self-appointed American and defender of capitalism, arch-nemesis of bunnies, hater of subtleties, teller of truths.

I know the way Anya went pissed off a lot of people, especially because it’s almost a blink-and-you-missed-it moment. I do, however, feel that someone had to die in this way. Someone important, I mean. Not every main character death in the show could have a big preamble and a huge aftermath. Sometimes you see death coming, but other times, it happens in an instant and it’s done. That’s especially true in big battles like the one in this episode. There is no time to stop and mourn because if you do, you might end up on the dead pile yourself.

We see later how the only ones concerned about Anya are Xander and Andrew. That makes sense, too, in my opinion. Anya was never a true member of the Scooby gang. She was merely there because of Xander. I’m not saying that was okay, I’m simply stating a fact. In fact, I’ve voiced my annoyance about the way Buffy and Willow treated her several times. (This is proven by how little thought was given to her feelings after Xander left her at the altar…) It hardly matters anyway, because if she wanted to be remembered and missed by anyone, that most certainly was Xander. Her life revolved around him, for better or worse.

But, apart from this, I think this was a fitting way to finish her journey – from vengeance demon, to inadequate teenager, to girl in love, to working gal, to scorned lover, to vengeance demon again, to humanity connoisseur and admirer. She overcame her fear of death and she embraced her humanity, and she died stupidly fighting for what she believed in, just like humans do.

31) I think this is one of the most underrated puns in the show.

32) Have you noticed how they are killing the Ubervamps with… stakes? Retcon much?

33) Oh, bollocks, indeed…

34)It kind of breaks my heart when Spike says that he can really feel his soul like he didn’t really believe it was actually there until now.

35) Oh, god, my Spuffy heart…

Does Buffy really love Spike, though? 

36) "I wanna see how it ends.”

R.I.P. Spike. Sort of. Not really.

37) I really like this shot…

Buffy just stares at the open road, her life ahead, her future, thoughts she’d never before allowed herself to indulge in because death was always around the corner. But now? There’s literally a world of possibilities…

38) Callback #3…

You left like you arrived, Spike. Goodbye home, sweet home.

39) Bless you, Andrew.

XANDER So, did you see?

ANDREW I—I was scared. I'm sorry.

XANDER Did you see what happened? I mean, was she...

ANDREW She was incredible. She died saving my life.

XANDER That's my girl. Always doing the stupid thing.

40) I just love the fact that the original cast members are the only ones in the last shot BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THIS SEASON SHOULD’VE BEEN ABOUT. EHEM.

41) I just…

WILLOW Yeah. The First is scrunched, so... what do you think we should do, Buffy?

FAITH Yeah, you're not the one and only chosen anymore. Just gotta live like a person. How's that feel?

DAWN Yeah, Buffy. What are we gonna do now?

Buffy:

ME:

I will try to form a coherent thought because as I write this, I’m still bawling my eyes out. This ending is especially poignant for me because Buffy is my favorite character, so all I’ve ever wanted was her happiness. It’s been seven years. Seven years of heartbreak, pain, mourning loved ones, non-stopping fighting. Seven years of feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. A girl, alone in the world, fighting the forces of evil. Never allowing herself to look forward because that always leads to disappointment and crushed expectations. But now? Nothing is stopping her now, nothing is holding her back. The open road is right ahead, and she can go and do whatever she wants to.

The show had to end with a final shot of Buffy. This was her journey, and though it’s far from over, that smile assures us that yes, she will be fine.

I guess it gives all of us a little bit of hope.

42) Is Chosen a perfect episode? I don’t think so. I think too much time was wasted on ship moments and side characters. There’s a lot of talk but not the kind I usually enjoy the most. It’s only half-way through the episode – when they get to Sunnydale High - that you really get that feeling of “Oh fuck, this is really the end, this is actually happening!”

But I do think it’s a good ending, nonetheless. There’s an epic battle – although I do enjoy the season 3 battle much more… - there’re callbacks and special character moments, there’s closure and there’s death because it wouldn’t be Buffy if no one ever died. (You lied, Giles.)

More importantly, it does what series finales ought to do – it pays tribute to its characters, and it’s a gift to the fans. I don’t think we should ever measure the quality of a show by how good their series finale is, you know? When I think of this show – and we all know I think about it a lot – it’s not “Chosen” what comes to mind. It’s everything that came before it. Chosen is a celebration of and a tribute to all of that. And as such, it is a perfect finale.

43) Thank you to everyone who has ever read one of my recaps, you are the reason I pushed through even when I felt like giving up. Thank you for sharing my unconditional love for this show. I love you all, too.

44) If you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!