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#I don’t know it’s just really bummed me out
darl-ingfics · 3 days
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Sicktember Day 23: Under a Spell
Fandom: Seventeen
Sickie: Jun (cold)
Caregiver(s): Mingyu (virtually)
Word Count: 878
Notes: Two Jun fics in a row. It's almost like he's my bias-wrecker or something.
“Junnie-Hyung!” Mingu cheered instantly when the Facetime call was accepted. He had been biting his lip, hoping that Jun wasn’t busy. He could’ve always left a voicemail if so, but he just really wanted to talk with Jun tonight. And the feeling appeared to be mutual; the sight of Mingyu made his hyung smile on impact. 
“Mingyuuuu!” Jun exclaimed, shifting around to a more comfortable position. He appeared to be on a couch, wherever he was. “How are you?”
“I miss youuu!!!”
“I miss you too! How are promotions going?” His voice sounded off to Mingyu, but he figured it was the audio quality. 
“Amazing, hyung!” Mingyu sighed. “Everything has been going so smooth, but it’s just different without and Hannie-hyung.”
Jun pouted. “I know, I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault. You’re living your dreams right now! How’s filming?”
“Filming is going great! My scene partners have been fantastic, and…” Jun broke off, disappearing off the screen, sneezing twice.
Mingyu’s face fell. Something in his brain clicked. “Hyung, are you sick?”
Jun nodded, swiping at his nose. “Yeah. Just a cold, though.” 
It was Mingyu’s turn to pout. “I’m sorry to hear that…” 
“It’s okay, really. It was bound to happen. I had to get thrown in a pool for a scene the other day, and wet clothes plus cold weather plus AC blasting inside PLUS erratic sleep hours…” He shrugged. “It’s more annoying than anything.” He sniffled, rubbing at his nose again. “Besides, I’ve had worse.”
“But we’re not there to take care of you!”
“No, and that’s definitely been felt. Luckily I have the next two days off anyway, and my cast mates have been really kind…”
“But they're not us,” Mingyu interrupted. 
Jun shook his head. “No, they’re not you.” 
Mingyu couldn’t fight the frown off his face. Yes, of all the members, Junhui was probably one of the most adept at taking care of himself when sick; he never made a fuss about it but advocated for his needs and spoke up to let others know what was going on, took his medicine and drank plenty of fluids and slept as much as possible. But just because Jun was self-sufficient didn’t mean he had to be. When he was at home, in the dorm, with his team, they knew how to take care of him without being asked. Mingyu knew exactly how Jun liked his tea, knew which blanket in the living room he preferred, knew the recipes that comforted him the most. And knowing that his brother was so far away from all that… it broke his heart.  
“Gyu? Are you still with me?”
“Y-yeah. I’m just… bummed that you’re sick and I can’t be there with you.”
Jun laughed. “I’m pretty sure you have better things to do then hang out with me and my germs.”
“Okay, fine, I’d rather not hang out with your germs, but I’d take them if it meant I could hug you.”
“Are you homesick for me?”
Mingyu blinked. “Honestly, yeah, I think so. Aren’t you?” The words escaped his mouth before he could stop them. He slapped a hand against his mouth, eyes comically wide. 
Thankfully Jun laughed before his smile turned thoughtful. “Desperately. But I am also so happy to be here. This all feels so…”  He began to move his hands in a circle, searching for the right word. He opened his mouth to respond, but pitched forward with another sneeze instead. “See, I don’t even have words for how much I miss you!”
Mingyu chuckled, shaking his head. “Should I let you get back to resting, then?” 
“No, no, I want to hear about the comeback!”
“Are you sure?”
Jun nodded. “Talking with you has been the highlight of my week.”
So, beaming brighter than the sun, Mingyu talked. He explained every detail of their comeback from practice to pre-recording to performances. He explained their outfits, their sets, the memes and jokes that they’d created. After a few minutes, distracted in his story, Mingyu noticed that Jun’s eyes had slipped closed. He hadn’t noticed when that had happened. 
“Hyung? Are you still with me?”
Jun smiled before opening his eyes. “Yes, I’m listening. Your voice is putting me to sleep, though, it’s so peaceful. It’s like magic.” 
“Adila kiya akiya shurapoeh / With a language only we know, I cast a spell,” Mingyu sang softly. Jun beamed. Mingyu continued singing, starting back at the top of “Spell.” Jun moved his shoulders along to the beat, arms twisting and winding in an interpretive version of the actual choreography. Mingyu’s voice grew sillier in time with Jun’s movements until both of them were giggling hysterically. 
Suddenly a knock came on Mingyu’s door. He turned to see Joshua poking his head in, gesturing that it was time for dinner. Mingyu nodded before turning back to the phone. “Okay, hyung, I’m so sorry but I gotta go.”
“That’s okay. Thanks for chatting so long. I love you, Gyu.” Jun formed a heart with his hands. 
Mingyu copied the gesture. “Love you too, Junnie. Feel better soon, okay? Pretend I’m there giving you the biggest hug in the world.”
Jun wrapped his arms around himself. “I can feel the love.” 
“Good. Bye, hyung.”
“Bye bye!” 
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babymorte · 1 month
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when they cancel plans to help you finish some games you’ve been stuck on for months 😭
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monkee-mobile · 8 months
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I just showed my cousin the picture of mike nesmith’s giant fucking ass and she replied in a monotone voice: “oh. that’s… cool. that’s… so real.”
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It frustrates me to no end that everyone I talk to someone new my brain catastrophises to the point where even though I know logically it’s fine, and normal, and fun, I end up making it a bigger deal in my head that I know it is…I think myself into spirals that the logical part of my brain knows are ridiculous and dramatic and improbable, which stress me out more than is entirely necessary…it’s so tiring to exist and participate in the social world sometimes
#personal#night time ramblings#the potentially autistic side of my brain really comes to party when I begin a new social relationship in any capacity#my analytical brain is not compatible with the lawless wasteland of socialising with someone new#gonna just ramble a bit about this situation here where I don’t have to make a lotta sense#I’ve been talking to a guy I’ve known for many year but never been properly friends with#we were in the same friendship circle when we were teenagers#but in different groups#we’ve literally been talking again for maybe 5 days#it’s taken me a few days to be more or less certain that our conversations are more than 2 sort of old friends catching up#like I think we’ve been flirting a little we’re going to go for a drink maybe he jokingly called me babygirl earlier#it’s been nice to be in that talking stage with a guy but without the awkward first few conversations where you’re getting to know the basic#I’ve always thought he was a nice guy our political and moral leaning have always been pretty similar he’s alright looking#that’s the extent of it#but of course my brains going haywire#scripting conversations I need to have if this become serious#wondering how hell react to less fun things about me physically or personality wise#wondering if and when we’ll ever have sex and if hell be any good 😂#trying to work out if hell get on with my family#like the whole 9 fucking yards#and it’s so fucking silly#like it isn’t that deep in the fucking slightest#it has the potential to be#and if it’s not it won’t be that upsetting to me#I’ll be a bit bummed out for a day or 2 and that’s it#I know myself well enough#but in the moment my brain always speed runs times everything could go wrong reasons it could fail reasons things will never succeed for me#and it doesn’t help that almost every romantic partner or potential I’ve ever had has proved this dumb shit right#but at what point does it become a self-fulfilling prophecy?#I sometimes think deep deep down I’m just a hopeless romantic hidden under layers of cynicism and emotional repression😂
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shima-draws · 2 years
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I finished watching RTTE and I am. Emotional
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bizarrescribblez · 1 year
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☹️🥲 didn’t get to draw anything silly or fun for m.urderface’s birthday and I’m really sad/bummed out about it 🥲💔 anyways just imagine I custom made him p.lanet piss shirts as a gift and it made him happy and cue birthday cuddles in our silly matching shirts (jk he would want me to wear the one I got him so it’s just me in the shirt) 🥲💔
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drjohnhwatson · 10 months
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one thing that makes me mad as a hornet is whenever I pick up a detective book especially if it’s in a series and I go to goodreads and see a slew of negative reviews becos inevitably I can tell you the tenor of it without even looking. “SHERLOCK HOLMES RIP-OFF” they all scream.
does your story have a duo solving crimes? SHERLOCK HOLMES RIP-OFF.
does your story have the narrator be the sidekick? SHERLOCK HOLMES RIP-OFF.
is your story’s detective eccentric in some manner of dress or personality? SHERLOCK HOLMES RIP-OFF.
I’ve picked up two detective series recently (the gower street detectives, barker & llewelyn) and we are two for two with people gnashing their teeth over it. Sherlock Holmes isn’t the only detective? Hello?? I guarantee if Agatha Christie was a writer now and published her first Poirot story TODAY, people would be gnashing their teeth and growling about how it’s just a flimsy SHERLOCK HOLMES RIP-OFF.
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moonrpg · 2 years
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rewatched mop ending it still made me cry 👍 some thoughts in the tags
#honestly now that I’ve read the manga I can decidedly say it’s the least faithful adaptation out of all the arcs which does make me a little#bummed bc it’s one you would think they would try and follow to a T bc of the weight every piece of dialogue carries. cut one thing and the#entire tone can change. I don’t like how they framed shigeo as completely violent and ‘malicious’ up until the very end. in the manga you#know from the start that both mob and shigeo have an incredibly skewed but not malicious viewpoint if that makes sense#like yeah the ritsu thing is an earlier ep but that kinda bugs me too!! it just changes the tone. and I get it it’s an anime you can’t have#like. the like despair that reigens chase had ik the manga it’s gotta be uplifting and shonen o guess lol#one more low thing then I’m done I promise. the ending is super cute and sweet but the cat bit and the angle of the cake almost make it read#like mob doesn’t rlly use his powers anymore? not entirely but it teeters on it whereas in the manga like ritsu gets him down from up high#and mob very obviously flings the cake in reigens face. like it’s not like that doesn’t happen in the ep I just don’t get why they made it#more vague bc like. that would go against the very core of the arc whatever#idk it’s a bunch of little things but they really add up imo. bc like obvs when I first watched the arc without being caught up#in the manga I enjoyed it and I still do love it!! it’s beautifully animated and it still pulls at ur emotions very effectively haha#just interesting if not a bit frustrating to think about the gravity of what was left out/changed just bc of the major focus on emotion#in this arc especially#chitchat#mp100 spoilers
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rinhaler · 11 months
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I have had the WORST separation anxiety since my friendship breakup I’m genuinely in a lot of distress most of the time and I’m clinging to my bf so much it’s actually a bit pathetic
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salsflore · 2 years
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just got home from school ~ ate a sandwich to cheer myself up, think i’ll play genshin for a bit and nap ... pulling on shenhe’s banner solves everything
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#oh wait i'll give you a mark then! but wait no its still wrong nvm#venting a little because i’m just so bummed and silly and i was in such a good mood yesterday so like how did we get here#i failed my math test and that set my mood for the rest of the day which is dumb i know but aghh#the teacher had us add all our grades and then i was like wait theres this one question i think you mightve marked wrongly#and for a sec he was like that was so embarrassing LOL#i got a 26/30 for history — something i didn’t revise for. i got a 20/20 for my eng lit test. plus bc i did so well on my en oral exam-#-(got full marks btw) i’m being nominated to participate in this speaking thing. when my homeroom teacher found out abt this she even said:#“yeah‚ i expected mika to be a good speaker because everytime she speaks to me i...” and it was a really nice thing to hear but even after-#-all that i’m still so sad. i studied for my math exam i really did. so why did i still fail. i didn’t even pass my class this time#i prepared for a week beforehand. looked at past questions and learned things i never thought i would grasp. asked friends for help & i-#-paid attention in class i wrote down notes i did practice questions why was that not enough. looked up proper study methods and tried to-#-balance everything nicely! so why did i still fail‚ right? and i feel so disappointed in myself.#of course i made the mistake of lightheartedly complaining about this to my straight A & A* student‚ beloved by teachers‚ prefect friend#“you’ll do better! it’s not that bad!” i’m so tired. i know i’m an awful friend for being so bitter but i can’t-#-endure myself any longer. and i got home and i ate a sandwich with my sister and mom at the table and-#-my sister made a comment about how ahhh she’s in a bad mood again cuz it’s a monday !! and i hate that i’m so obviously down. i don’t-#-wish to ruin the mood or anything so like#and i have my malay oral exam tomorrow and i wrote my script wrongly apparently so i have to redo that#i’ve given up on memorizing it i just hate going to school now#and then ahhhh another project another presentation i’m so sick of this so sick of myself#i should have put this at the very start but umm! anyways please don’t reply to this or try to reassure me i appreciate it i really do but-#-i just needed a place to be silly and its already kind of embarrassing enough! so just acknowledge this and move on. thanks. love u guys#cw vent#cw negative
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I’m watching someone play persona 4 and honestly it kinda sucks if you’re not the one playing it. It’s definitely a game that’s defined by its atmospheric experience and when it doesn’t have that and you’re just seeing the lowkey garbage flung at you with some of the characters and moments it makes it REALLY rough to keep to it and find anything likable about it like ouch that’s hurt lol. Love the game to death but I’d never recommend someone watch a playthrough or all the cutscenes if they could play the game instead. Also it’s mostly the summer that sucks for me, essentially the awkward middle before the plot ramps up, because the beginning and ending are so strong for me and the middle part just flops which is ironic given I feel the exact opposite with p5 so it’s funny lol. Hopefully p3 will be a strong game all the way through but I doubt it since it’s the predecessor so here’s hoping for p6
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babymorte · 2 months
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🤞🏻👽✨
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drivemysoul · 3 months
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chuluoyi · 2 months
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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 (𝐔𝐍)𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋
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- sylus x reader
master and servant. man and his right hand woman. you and sylus are labeled many things, but does love exist in many labels of your relationship?
genre/warnings: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact!—angst, fluff, unrequited love, explicit smut, fwb, jealousy, hurt/comfort, description of major injury, blood loss, gore, assassin!reader (not l&ds mc), spoilers! takes place throughout long-awaited revelry
note: my very first love and deepspace fic! :') w.c 5.2k ! i have a severe brainrot omg tagging @sanriosatoru per request <3
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Everyone knows of your relationship with Sylus.
The leader of Onychinus and his notorious lady assassin, you two strike fear into his foes and allies alike. You are as deadly as you are beautiful, and that's more or less why he keeps you around.
What everyone doesn't know, however... is that behind closed doors, you too share his wealth and his bed.
“I don't mind to spend the whole night with you,” he’d whisper in your ear seductively at nights, deft and veiny hands roaming your body all over. He often made you ride on top of him, dark burgundy eyes hazed with lust, knowing full well that you desired the very same goal he did.
And you’d respond his hunger with the same fervor, crashing your lips into his, your tongues intertwining, your hips moving vigorously against him.
“Ahh... ah!” Before you knew it, his cock—thick and long in size—slid inside you in such a snug fit, making you throw your head back and dig your sharp nails into his skin.
“Keep me going with your voice, kitten.” Sylus growled, eyeing your wobbling lips and tightly-pressed eyes as he sank even deeper inside you. “Yeah, just like that...”
Sylus always began roughly, seemingly not minding your breathless moans and wishes, and you liked him that way too—
“Is this... all you've got?” you panted in a hoarse voice, sweat lining your neck and forehead, the coil in your belly tightened so deliciously each time he thrusted into you. “Surely... y-you can do better...”
“Ha,” he gave a low snort, his red eyes blazing as he grabbed your bum and squeezed it, making you gasp. “Careful what you wish for... sweetie.”
And then your vision literally tilted upside down—Sylus gladly flipped your position so he could see you even better. This way, he also had even better access to you, intertwining your hand with his, spreading your legs wide so he could rut into you.
“—!” Breath was knocked out of your lungs as immeasurable pleasure washed over you, crashing and receding in an instant. You almost screamed as your back arched.
He broke into a satisfied smirk. “Let it out,” he murmured against your neck, biting gently into your skin, voice muffled. “You never hold back with me, do you, hmm? So, don’t start now.”
“You b-bastard...” you looked up at him with a breathless smile, knowing how close you were to losing your wits.
He simply made your nights worth remember. His allure was undeniable, with a voice that was naturally sultry. And his hands... fuck, they did heaven's work.
It didn't take you long to finally reach your climax, and once you did, your moans were the nastiest all night as you continuously lined his back with scratches.
You could feel how he was chasing his own orgasm all the while, before pulling out right at the last minute and made a mess on your belly, falling beside you.
“Tired?” Sylus’ chest rumbled with laughter as you laid sprawled there in a haze. His eyes narrowed at the sight of your burning cheeks. “I really like this look on your face right now.”
You rolled your eyes, catching your breath and shivered. “I bet you tell that to all other women you manage to lure to your bed.”
“How presumptuous.” He sent you a sour scowl. “I have a high standard— you should consider yourself lucky.”
Well, you do. Holding back a smile, you changed the topic. “I’m cold. Clean me up already.”
“Now, now… what a spoiled little thing you are…” Sylus chuckled, his voice deep and low, yet wrapping his arms around you nonetheless, hoisting you up.
Nights of passion. Mutually beneficial relationship. Nothing more and less.
No strings attached.
This is thrilling. Intimacy without commitment is more than enough to spice your checkered life. After all, what could be better and more rewarding than fucking the hottest man in N109 Zone and getting away with it?
At least, you thought so.
. . .
“Damn, you’re going to make me sore…” you grumbled, letting out a deep sigh as you sank into the sheets after he had cleaned you up, still basking in the afterglow and ready to drift off to sleep. “Ahh...”
Sylus’ lips curved into a wry smile as he watched you make yourself comfortable on his bed, slipping on his black shirt. “Well, I’m just that good, and you did ask for it.”
“Are you going out?” you asked in a small voice, teetering between sleep and wakefulness as you noticed him taking out his favorite gun. “It’s midnight.”
“Luke and Kieran said she has arrived.” Sylus said in low voice, not even sparing you a look. “After all, she has gone through all that trouble to come here, it is only right that I greet her myself.”
The woman. Sylus had told you several times, how a woman with Aether Core and powerful Resonance Evol would eventually come to N109 Zone. And that when the time came, he would make her resonate with him.
A part of you didn’t really know what to feel about this vague plan of his. “Will you bring her here too?”
“I’ll have her stay here until we have reached resonance,” he responded casually while shrugging on his coat.
Sylus valued others depending on their worth. He said it so himself—he isn't a philanthropist. He saw potential in your evol—the Speech Manipulation—which is why he rescued you three years ago, even after you had swung a blade to his throat.
This time must be the same. You played with the edges of your hair. “Well, consider me jealous then. Seems like I’ll have a rival soon.”
Your quip finally caught his attention, as he finally turned to you, one side of his mouth upturned.
“Ha.” Sylus strolled over to where you lay on the bed and placed a hand under your chin, letting out a throaty chuckle. “Is there even anyone brave enough to go against you?”
You shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. “We shall see about that.”
Little did you know, the coming of this new girl would be the start of the undoing of your mutually beneficial relationship.
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You would've expected the woman bearing Aether Core inside her to be way more interesting than that clueless, weak and easily spooked hunter from Linkon City.
But your and Sylus' definitions of interesting clearly differed though, as you caught him smiling after he pulled the most outrageous stunt on himself— having her shoot him right in the heart.
“She is funny,” he said to himself, almost snickering even as you wiped the blood off his toned body. “She was shaking so much the moment I pulled the trigger.”
“Is that your only finding—” you snapped as you wrapped the bandage around his bare chest, fuming. “—after shooting yourself just to mess with her?”
Luke and Kieran told you how he had used his Evol to pull the hunter girl onto his lap, then handed her a gun and made her shoot him. You couldn't believe it at first, until the sight of Sylus staggering to his bedroom, his shirt bloodied and clutching his chest made you almost scream in horror.
“Is that really necessary?” you scowled, tightening the bandage with more force than needed. “Or are you just trying to get her attention?”
Sylus’ sharp gaze settled on you then, seemingly not taking your comment well.
“What’s got you so worked up about this, hmm?” he asked, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips as he observed your cross expression. “Last I checked, we agreed not to get involved in each other’s personal affairs.”
Personal affairs, he said? Everything you two had done had long past breached all personal boundaries.
But the fact remains that you two are nothing more than—
“Fine.” You tied the bandage abruptly and about to storm off, making no effort to conceal your ire. You couldn’t say you were worried or that you hated seeing blood smeared across him. That was never in the agreement.
Until you felt a hard tug on your arm—
“And where does the angry kitty think she is going, hmm?”
Before you could discern it, your back was pressed against the wall—your left arm pinned beside your head, with Sylus filling your view.
His sculpted abs were right in front of you for the taking, his scent permeated the air, and his unsettling swirls of crimson eyes had you completely captivated.
“Have I ever told you that you look beautiful when you’re angry?” Sylus laughed as he leaned in, gripping your chin with his other hand. “If I didn’t know you were more than capable of slitting my throat in my sleep, I’d want you to look at me like this every day.”
It struck you how your heart raced wildly under his intense gaze. With his perfect face so close, the only sound that seemed to be most prominent was the pounding of your own heartbeat.
“What’s wrong? We’ve been closer than this,” Sylus taunted with a wide grin, his breath warm against your ear as he pressed his body against yours. “What’s making you so nervous?”
If you knew anything about Sylus, it was that he took pleasure in seeing you squirm in his hold. You glared daggers at him. “I hate you.”
“How lovely.”
“You’re infuriating,” you spat, devoid of any amusement.
He barked a satisfied bout of laugh once again, before releasing your chin. However, to your surprise, that very same hand groped your chest roughly—
“Then perhaps...” he hummed, a wicked glint in his red eyes, whispering to you with sultry voice right before he pulled you into him and devour your lips in heat: “You can help to fix me, sweetie.”
His kisses were hot as his tongue and hands made his mark on your body. Pressed against his bare skin, you gripped his strong, broad shoulders as he lifted your legs to his waist.
As always, he managed to dissolve all your lingering thoughts with lust. You just never knew one day you would finally reach the last straw though.
. . .
"Are you going out again tonight?" you muttered, tracing your fingers along his abs as you lay in his arms, still a bit giddy after your passionate session.
"No, I'm sleepy," he replied quickly, his voice low as he pulled you closer and closed his eyes. "Go to sleep already, kitten."
"I can't sleep."
"Poor you. I can though."
You quirked a frown at him. "You're so annoying these days."
"Oh?" Sylus cracked his eyes open, a smirk on his lips. "If you find me so disagreeable, you can always make me obey you, no?"
Your speech manipulation could make people do your bidding and it was a pretty useful talent. Apart from the first day you met Sylus three years ago in the wasteland of N109 Zone, you had never tried using it on him again.
"I won't, you idiot." You sighed and turned away, your back facing him. The idea of bending him to your will somehow didn't sit right with you. It was against your conscience now.
"Why are you facing away? It's freezing," he grumbled almost in a petulant voice. You nearly rolled your eyes, until you felt his strong arms wrap around your middle from behind.
"Why are you hugging me? We’re not usually this touchy after sex."
"I'm telling you, I'm cold, and you're my heat pillow."
"You're so damn insufferable..."
Despite your sharp retort, a smile found its way to your face. Moments like this were rare, and when he was the one seeking you, you couldn't help these butterflies in your stomach. Still...
You two are not in love, dammit. Sometimes it confused you a great deal. What is love anyway?
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“Caw, caw, caw!”
“Mephisto, shush.”
Sylus’ robotic pet crow had surprisingly taken a liking to you shortly after you began living in the base. He obeyed your commands just as he did with his owner. The same couldn’t be said for Miss Hunter though, as Mephisto seemed to have a strong dislike for her.
You were idling at the living room with the crow when you realized how close it was to dawn.
“Luke, Kieran,” you called to the twins, who were bickering over a crate of oranges, frowning. “Where did Sylus go?”
Both stopped and looked at you, and Kieran blurted out, “Boss? Oh, he went out with Miss Hunter!”
You supposed you shouldn’t be surprised, but you were nonetheless. “And he still hasn’t come back?”
“Ah, yeah... but I think they just went on a short errand. He’s probably back or already on his way?” Luke mused, and you clicked your tongue.
It irritated you, it gnawed at you—how Sylus had been spending so much time with that hunter these days. He was trying to make her resonate with him, but still, the way you saw it, he was going through his playbook—
Just as he had done when he pursued you.
Calling her “kitten”, “sweetie”... everything he did with her seemed like a replay of the first year you spent in this place.
Deep down, perhaps you had hoped that, in some way, Sylus would see you as you saw him. Love might be out of reach in your bleak existences, but you at least wished he would consider you an irreplaceable presence.
You were petty, and you knew it.
“Mephisto,” you whispered to the cooing crow as it turned to you pliantly. “Go find and bother her, okay? Don’t let her out of your sight,” you added, letting the bird fly away on your command.
Deciding to rest in his room, you left the living room with a sense of exhaustion. You had stayed up for Sylus on a whim, as he had promised to share his plans for the upcoming auction soon. However, sleeping at dawn was giving you frequent headaches, and the habit was wearing on you.
You took a bath and then headed to his bedroom, and you would have never guessed what scene you'd walk into—
Sylus, in his bathrobe, and that girl… nestled against his chest on his bed. The very same bed where you two made out just the other night.
“Y/N?” Sylus looked at you over the girl’s shoulder, and you were frozen on the spot, feeling an indescribable rush of emotions washing over you.
In the next moment, the hunter girl scrambled away from him in panic, her face flushed with shame. “I-it’s not what it looks like! I swear! Sylus— I was just trying to find his brooch and—!”
In that instant, something inside you turned ice-cold. Her frantic explanations—none of it registered to you. The fact that he let her into his bed was enough for you.
You weren’t sure if Sylus noticed, but your eyes darkened, your fists clenched, and a storm raged within your chest.
“Sorry for intruding,” you said frostily, cutting her off and casting a contemptuous glance at both of them before turning on your heel and slamming the door shut.
It was no use, you finally realized. In this twisted relationship you two shared, there could never be anything more than hot sex and flirtations.
Somehow it hurt more deeply than you expected, as though your heart were being scorched. Yet, you couldn’t even find the tears to cry—as you weren't allowed to do so.
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Sylus noticed the change in you immediately.
You vanished from the base and returned in the evening, not sparing him even a look and he could tell then that you had come back a different woman.
And it was the part he hated the most. These days, he couldn't read you at all.
"Luke and Kieran, keep an eye on her tonight," he instructed his two underlings as the two of them were getting ready.
"Who? Miss Hunter?" Luke questioned.
"Or boss lady?" Kieran supplied.
Both of them liked you as well. Unlike him, you’d spend your free time indulging their nonsense, and over time, they even gave you that friendly moniker.
They didn't really know the nature of your physical relationship though. Or at least, didn't really know fully.
"The latter," Sylus gruffly replied, and then he went to the hunter girl to prepare her as well.
He had a justified explanation. If you had asked him, he would tell you nothing had happened. Your ire was better than silence, definitely a hundred times better than this.
But why didn't you come to him?
And why does he want you to come and demand him for an explanation?
However, tonight was the auction for the Aether Core. He had to finish this first before he could get a word with you later.
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At least that was what Sylus had thought... until he saw you at the auction venue.
You were stunning in that black cocktail dress. He didn’t know when you had your hair done, but you looked as if you had spent the entire day preparing for this occasion despite having barely two hours after coming back. You were definitely a head-turner, drawing the attention of many vermin as you navigated the ballroom with grace and everlasting smile.
And it grated at him. Severely. Sylus's eyes were locked on each lowlife hell-bent on taking his life and desperate to get into your pants, knowing he would end them all tonight.
...and as if it wasn't enough, he then saw you entertaining one of them with that sort of smile you used to reserve for him.
. . .
"Mm-hm, really?"
"Yes, I've heard they are inside the safe number 209."
You coyly smirked, looking the man with mask in front of you, whom you had led to a deserted hallway, who had been complying and smiling at each and every question of yours.
"Thank you then." You flashed him your best smile, about to go back to the main hall.
"And uh, miss," he suddenly turned to you in a flurry. "I believe I haven't gotten your name—"
You chuckled, facing him again. "Oh, you want to know my name?"
"Very much so!"
This was like bread and butter to you. You effortlessly wrapped an arm around the man's neck, standing on your tiptoes, and whispered in his ear:
"Halt."
He went rigid the moment the command left your lips, and you could feel his panic rising as you pulled away.
"W-what happened—!?" he thrashed against the invisible hold manifested by your Evol in pure panic, to no avail, whereas you regarded at him with a cold smile.
"What a shame. I planned to let you be, but then you gave me the perfect opportunity." You maintained your eerie smile as you pulled out a thin, needle-like blade from the hem of your dress. "You have been a great help. Thank you."
With that, you slit his throat, and blood splattered onto the ground in a continuous pool as he jerked, collapsing like a broken statue.
You felt nothing at the sight, but you knew you weren't alone as you felt his presence.
"You started the party without me?" Sylus' deep voice resonated through the hall. "Didn't know you have that much of bloodlust this early, sweetie."
The clench of your heart was still there, even when you had decided to discard all your lingering feelings for this man. Still, you put on the perfect poker face when you met his eyes.
"I want this to be over and done with quick. I'm exhausted already."
Sylus eyed you calmly, yet somehow it felt as if the depths of those red eyes were trying to assess your soul. "Your actions said otherwise. Is flirting with him necessary?"
"You're one to talk, Boss," you scoffed at the last word. "As long as it entertains me, why isn't it?"
Sylus didn't deign you with an answer, and you decided to pour more oil into it.
"Strictly professional, no?" You lifted your chin defiantly. "Last I checked, we were not supposed to meddle in personal affairs—"
You didn't realize it until he did, because the next thing you knew, his right eye suddenly glowed with that terrifying shade of crimson. "You—!"
He has seen it all. In the three years since he took you in, Sylus had never used his Aether Core-infused right eye on you to peek into your mind. The first and only time it had happened was when he restrained you from attacking him on the day you first met.
This was the second time. And now, he knows. Of your petty feelings, of your deepest, truest desire.
At first, Sylus remained silent, but then his eyes narrowed at you, low voice booming through the hall.
"Jealousy is unbecoming on you, Y/N."
And after all that he knew, that was the only thing he could come up with?
You felt shame wash over you. You wanted to run from him. This was too much because he most definitely didn’t reciprocate your feelings, did he?
"I don't want to hear it," you resolved, the space around you felt constricting all of a sudden. You walked past him, about to break into a sprint—
Sylus immediately caught a hold of your arm though, sending a glare at you. "You—"
"It ends here," you blurted in heat. "I don't want it anymore. We're through, Sylus."
"Listen to me!"
He snarled at you, and it was the very first time he did so. However, you paid him no mind and pulled out your ace card, staring hard into his eyes. You could feel the start of his black and red mist, but your Evol was faster—
"Move."
His hold on you loosened, and he jerked back several foot away from the impact. You kept your manipulation on him, avoiding his fury-blazed eyes, bolting away before he could catch you.
. . .
The night escalated so much worse than you had imagined. Explosions and a sudden appearance of an Arbiterwings threw the whole auction into chaos.
You were fighting off the sudden wave of wanderers alone, relying solely on your blade since your voice was too hoarse to use your Evol. When one of them struck you and sent you crashing into a wall, you just sat there in a daze.
It was exhausting. Usually, Sylus would be by your side, covering your back at the very least. He wouldn't let a single scratch get to you. His black and red mist of doom would dominate the battlefield, offering you protection while at it.
You loved that bastard. It was so beyond stupid. Why did you have to ruin everything by having these feelings? If your heart was gone, would these feelings go with it too?
You got your answer sooner than you thought.
White-hot pain engulfed you when something impaled you right in the chest. The searing agony was mind-blinding, the only thing you could discern was your own wails.
No, the feelings didn’t go. Even as you teetered on the brink of death, that damned love only evolved into many regrets.
And in your final moments, you could've sworn you felt the exact moment your heart stopped beating.
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"Oh my god! Luke! She is here!"
"Kieran...! Is she alive?!"
"So much blood—! Luke, call Boss! Call Boss here!"
"Boss! We found her!"
"What do we do?! Shit! It's right... in her heart..."
"What!? Boss! S-she is...! Oh lord..."
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You had a dream, and it was of your first meeting with Sylus.
Three years ago, in the wasteland of N109 Zone, you were a mere scavenger until he found you. You had thought he was a threat much like others in this lawless city, so you unwittingly showcased your Evol before him in defense, until he pinned you down on the hard ground, crimson eyes holding you in place.
"I'm giving you two options: go with me and live, or die here in vain," he had told you then, a smug smile on his face. "I assure you, so long as you're still useful to me, you won't have to worry about food or roof above your head ever again."
What kind of homeless person would refuse that tempting offer?
Since you followed him, Sylus had never been untrue to his word. He made good of his words, idly engaged you in his circle, showered you with gifts, and at one point—
"You're... trying to tempt me, aren't you?" he growled amidst kisses, pinning you on his desk. Apparently, seeing you up close and personal every day in his home had worn down his patience. He was just a man, after all.
You wickedly giggled, even breathless, cradling both sides of his face and admiring those ruby eyes of his. "What if... I am?"
"Then consider me tempted, little kitten," he chuckled, his baritone voice casting a spell over you. "Remember though, curiosity can kill most cats."
Thus began your thrilling relationship, and you knew you would gladly stay with him just to have a taste of that heaven. And you knew too, he wouldn't cast you easily this way.
And of course, so long as you are useful to him, that is.
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When you came to, you felt warm, and your position was so comfortable that you were almost lulled back to sleep.
At first, it didn't register to you where you were. The scene before you was so familiar, but you were so lethargic that you were late to recognize it.
"Awake?"
Sylus' bedroom. The realization dawned on you as that deep, low voice questioned you flatly. You jerked instinctively, looking up at him as he came into view, holding a glass of wine.
He was still the same. Even with you out of commission, he would still indulge himself with his wine. Somehow you couldn't really pinpoint what you should feel about it.
However, Sylus then did the thing you didn't expect him to. He went back to his pantry to get a glass of water, and then he came to your side to prop you up.
"Drink," he commanded, positioning the glass on your chapped lips. You complied and did so, feeling relief for your throat. Once you were finished, he gently laid you back on the bed and tucked you in, never once taking his eyes off you.
"How are you feeling?"
"Have been better," you quipped dryly. Then it dawned on you that he had never been this gentle with you before. He was showing care, which confirmed one theory you had about him: Sylus could be considerate when he chose to be.
The very fact that you ended back here didn't really faze you much, because in the end, you belonged to him out of all people. Just one thing that still didn't make sense in your mind: "What did you do?"
His burgundy eyes squared at you. "What?"
"There’s no way I could've survived that," you mumbled, trying to gauge his reaction. "You must’ve done something."
“Ha, when it comes to these things, you’re sharp,” Sylus said with a light scoff, and you frowned.
"Answer me."
"Aether Core," he supplied. "It was now in you, repairing your coronary system."
"You..." you were rendered speechless. "You—what? You infused my heart with a Protocore...?"
Just like the one in his eye, he had implanted you with that dangerous fragment that was from something as horrific as a Wanderer. The very thought made your breath hitch.
"Stay calm," he commanded, his hand found yours when he noticed your horrified expression, squeezing it as if to provide some sort of reassurance. "You'll be fine."
"H-how... why..."
"That was your only chance, or you would’ve been dead." Sylus' tone was harsher now, his jaw set firmly. "I keep telling you not to rush in carelessly, and yet you did. Did you even know how bad your state was when I found you? No, you didn't."
The way he spoke made you feel as though you were being blamed, and overwhelmed with your frustration, you retorted sharply, "No one asked you to save me."
Awkward silence lingered for a good one minute after your jab. You turned away from him, feeling conflicted, because you knew you should be grateful that he did so, because it meant the Aether Core inside you now was the one he had been looking for in that auction.
He gave it up to save you.
Still, it confused you.
“If I died...” you began, bitterness creeping into your voice. “Then it just means I’m no longer useful to you. You always discard things that no longer serve your purpose.”
You turned back to him, meeting his impassive gaze. “So why? Did you pity me after discovering my feelings? Is that why?”
There are many labels in your relationship. Master and servant. Onychinus leader and his right-hand woman. But you were also his lover, even unsaid. Was that fact that did it? Or a mere charity for the weak, you?
Suddenly, Sylus placed his palm over your chest, right where your heartbeat pulsed. You stiffened, bracing for some sort of impact.
But no, it wasn’t anything sensual like he usually did. His hand—large and warm—was a comforting presence, resting on your chest and feeling the steady rhythm of your heartbeat.
"Haven't I told you that I never act out of pity?" Sylus' voice was strained but softer than usual, his deep burgundy eyes holding yours. "Do you really need me to spell it out?"
You didn't dare to look away, for the moment of truth was right in front of you.
"My only regret is not being able to pull you back," he said quietly, his tone somber. "I shouldn't have let you get hurt."
Oh. You blinked, taking in his sincere words, something inside you softening and warming at his words.
You had noticed it too. Despite his roguish exterior, he had always looked after you during your time together. It was just that you hadn’t dared to hope for more.
“The naughty little kitten has managed to worm her way into me, it seems,” he chuckled then, flashing you that cocky smile. “So now, she has to be held responsible for her actions.”
His red gaze narrowed as he added. “Moreover, since I have saved your life— you owe it to me not to throw it away so easily. So you can’t rush into danger carelessly again, you hear?”
Those playful remarks were enough to dispel your doubts and insecurities. They answered everything you had been questioning, and knowing it, finally you let out a relieved sigh and exasperated snort. “You shameless bastard...”
And when he leaned in to place a fleeting, innocent kiss on your forehead, you realized that, in his own way, he saw you just as you saw him, even if only a little.
Sylus settled into the bed beside you, wrapping his arms around you and letting your head rest on his arm. Tonight, there were no passionate kisses, no steamy foreplay, or dirty talks— just you being alive and well in his embrace.
“How long have I been out?”
“Three weeks, woman. Luke and Kieran keep mourning you everyday.”
“Three weeks?! How did you manage without me for that long?”
Sylus glanced at you, a contented smile on his face as he held you close. “It’s been horrid.”
Neither of you would be caught dead saying “I love you”, and yet, regardless, you knew that right this moment meant so much more.
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hadideedee · 11 months
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I love it when I actually try to stand up for myself and speak up about what’s bothering me to my family and get immediately shot down and told to go fuck myself it’s great actually love that so much
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fraldarrius · 11 months
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birthday was kinda shit ngl
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