#I don’t think I can handle an actual overtime period tbh

[hockeyheadache]

why does every period feel like overtime

[captainstarkky]

In ep13 in DAYS, Why do you think TDK was dreaming of MM crying? There has to be a reason right? How can she see a possible future?

Hello!

So, let me tell you in advance, although I work in the discipline of psychology, dream analysis is never my cup of tea (lol) simply because most of its meaning changes overtime.

But either way, since we are here let's do this!

On my short analysis of Episode 13, I gave a bit of what I thought was the reason of TDK dreaming of MM. You can check it here.

But I think I got to elaborate on some parts - since it's short and kind of very straightforward and confusing.

In there, I explained that dreaming of death actually means having a hard time coping up with changes. The thing is that, that change isn't encompassed by whatever we think change is. It actually is the literal change - yes, the one that is constant: change.

TDK does seem to experience a lot of changes throughout the episode doesn't she? She was diagnosed with an aggressive brain cancer (1), then she discovered that her boyfriend was already married (2), her boss was a sexist that always pointed out the disadvantage of her being a woman, a weirdo showing up to her doorstep (Myul Mang), discovering that this weirdo is actually a supernatural being that is the personification of death himself, entering a contract with him, and finally, probably the biggest, is when her memories were all wiped out - leaving her back to zero before meeting Myul Mang.

Of everything mentioned above, she was able to cope up because she had Myul Mang by her side. But what if we remove MM from the story? It's obvious that her mind wouldn't be able to handle the stress. But she got her family with her. That is the point. Instead of being comforted, I bet she feels even more burdened. She can't talk to anyone how she really feels. She can't easily confide to anyone if she feels scared or what. It was way too different when MM was around.

(He might have a nasty personality, but MM really helped TDK cope with accepting her own demise - and now he's gone from her memory)

Take note that she have a reason why she did it. She had a reason and her reason is that (1) she doesn't want him to feel pain when she's gone; and (2) she already knew what he was planning to do and she doesn't want him to disappear -which he eventually did in Episode 14.

Because of this too much things that are happening in her head - plus the unexpected return of MM in her life, it's inevitable that she would experience a great deal of anxiety and stress. And most of these, if not channeled out of the body could manifest themselves as dreams.

Now we're here. Answering a question on why did she dream about MM crying over her funeral.

So let's lay down the things we know before that scene happened.

Flash back, TDK had her memories of MM wiped out; it was together with their initial contract.

TDK met MM in the most unexpected way at the parking lot.

They talked and we realized that the contact was void when we heard her thoughts - he was not supposed to.

Then they renewed the contract.

MM got very curious about TDK after renewing the contract because Sonyeonshin told him that she did not do anything to him but to TDK.

He asked questions - basically interrogated her.

He saw his phone, then probably asked himself "why does he have a phone and why is the wallpaper of my phone a picture of me and that TDK?" It made him a lot more piqued.

Then TDK was informed that after the biopsy, a portion of her hair would be shaved and her hair would start falling down as the chemo and rad therapy starts. So she was advised to shave it off while she still have time.

She went solo. She went to a saloon and styled her hair before asking the stylist to shave her head off.

But even before that happened, her nose bled and she slightly panicked when the stylist panicked; as she was standing up, she suddenly had a dizziness attack and stumbled. MM caught her as she was falling and he brought her back to the hospital.

Now the dream. Okay, if you've read my short interpretation of it then the explanation of the dream should be OK already. As for "why he dreamt of MM specifically?"

Well, in a scientific point of view, it's easy. It's not that she wanted to see MM. It is because MM was the last person she saw. But that is just too boring, tbh. So let's get haphazard and explain it with fun.

I think, her dreaming of MM, is an indication that her mind is trying to piece out together specific events that would possibly happen. It's not foreseeing, dreams oftentimes don't do that - unless you're a psychic. It's an imagination on what could happen given the facts. MM could be a representation of the great deal of people that would mourn her death - now, why not any from her family? Why specifically MM? Because of either: (1) he's the last person she saw. The closest her brain could describe as 'most human', that is. (2) her brain was closely piecing up information about 'someone' and he fit the bill; (3) she's also equally curious of MM that's why her brain was trying to personify him in her subconscious, now using him as the 'model'; (4) Sometimes, the person you see in your dream is a reflection of what you really feels inside. In my own analysis, Sa-ram in her dream is a reflection of what she really feels inside - sad, sorry, and pity to herself that she would die and she cannot do anything.

Could either of the four. Or: (5) even if she forgot about him, his existence has already been engraved in her system. And by the time he popped out in front of her again, it allowed her brain to see a discrepancy on the system and as it tried to bring back the memories she lost, it brought back the thought of MM crying in front of her memorial. That's the power of curiosity. That is also the reason why most amnestic patients have very vivid dreams - their brain is trying to establish a connection of the severed memories.

And for the record, she did not see a possible future. It was her head making up illusions of what could happen in the future given the facts that she knew. Some of the facts that she knew that probably lead to that dream:

She's dying.

She's supposed to die.

This man (MM) is weird, and he's the last guy I saw.

"He's probably no-one but why does he pop out everywhere I go?"

Bonus information from my theory:

Why did she apologize to MM?

She apologized to MM because she saw him crying. And that's because of her funeral for sure.

Because her brain now recognizes MM as the model of the people who would mourn for her, she apologizes to him.

Because most of the dreams are ambiguous, there is a fictional/conspiracy theory that could say that MM in the dream represents TDK's state of mind. She's not coping up with the change she's been to and she was struggling in trying to connect the dots. She's curious of MM but she can't remember who he is. So she was apologizing.

She was apologizing to herself for literally throwing her happiness away. And even is she forgot who Sa-ram is, she knew that she’s unconsciously longing for him. But she can't remember him - so she was apologizing to him.

Why did she apologize to the real world MM?

It was a brief hallucination - a normal hallucination when a person is asleep. It was her still trying to apologize to the made up MM in her brain, without her knowing that she was really apologizing to the real MM.

It could be that even before MM came inside the room, she was already sleep talking: "I'm sorry." It's just that, coincidentally, he was there, holding her hand and since she saw him in her dream, she unconsciously apologized to him too.

By the way, if a nurse was there, she would've done the same. Scientifically, she was still asleep and not awake. She was in the period of transitional state of consciousness between wakefulness and sleep - so technically she was still not on her 100% wakefulness.

I hope I made sense. Lol. It's just, there are a lot of theories popping out and I'm sure most of them are deviating from one another. This is just my opinion of what was happening and others might have different opinions as well. I just hope I laid mine well enough to be understood.

Thank you for asking, doommate!

[fizzingwizard]

this week is finally Over and i can only cross my fingers that i wont explode during the time i’m here. i never have before, but i am not good with micromanagement. especially since i have taught at so many other schools now that the way this one is run feels like they keep their teachers in a stranglehold. not gonna list everything, it’s a mix of strange requirements, coworkers seemingly like they’ve basically been scared out of ever sharing their own thoughts, tons of attention given to minute details seemingly at random while bigger problems (like hello what I should be teaching for the day!) remain unfinished and disorganized, a stressed out atmosphere, plus i just really don’t like watching other people get yelled at, though I’m grateful I’ve been miraculously spared this week anyway.

i know some of it is just japanese business culture. (japanese managers yell at their staff all the time, maybe they wouldnt even call it yelling, but to me it certainly is - however, they usually dont do it with the foreign teachers. so it’s hard for me to know how much is culturally accepted and the Japanese teachers aren’t bothered because they expect it, and how much is actually over the top. if any. but i def see way more here than anywhere else. other places it’s once in a while, here it’s everyone every day.)

i am really afraid that I’m going to mess things up by being too impatient or raging against perceived injustice but ultimately just becoming an inconvenience. this week I just kept reminding myself “you’re only here month or two,” “the permanent teachers have to deal with this all the time and they manage,” “no one will be on your side if you complain, no matter how justified you feel” “your dad got fired from more than one place because he couldnt swallow his pride, are you gonna be like that too?”

it worked to keep my head down this week. but tbh not much. my nerves were fraying yesterday and thursday, probably someone noticed. only one week in!

today actually went fine - also, I got my period (and it’s so! fun! teaching while feeling like someone spent all day punching me in the crotch!), so it’s possible the reason for my irritability was pms? Or it wasn’t but I’ll get the placebo effect of thinking maybe it was, and becoming more patient as a result lol.

the kids here are fantastic, I have had zero problem children - a group of unruly jr high boys aside, but I can handle them. I’ve faced soooo much worse.

also, over the next few weeks we’ll get all the makeup classes cleared up, which have been one of my biggest sources of trouble because it means soooo much extra lesson planning. Also because the manager keeps changing my schedule at the very last minute. example, up till thursday night i was teaching class A at the end of the day on Sat, but got a note on fri morning that it had been switched to class B. so i was like ok and i squeezed in time to plan that lesson. then today i got in only to find that class B had been changed back to class A. no one told me - no note, nothing - i just looked at the schedule and was like uh... guess the time i spent planning was a waste! This sort of change is annoying but not so bad because at least it was changed to a lesson I was prepared for - sometimes it’s a total surprise and i’m left scrambling. meanwhile my coworker got stuck with that class instead, she had to plan it super fast because we all have 8 hours of classes on sat with no breaks other than lunch (i offered her my materials, but her method is different). she also had to work an hour of overtime, AND she didn’t get to take her “lunch” break till 5 o’clock. that is not a lunch break. holy hell.

^one of the reasons why I need to control my emotions, because my coworkers have been dealing with worse than me for longer.

idk what next week holds but. i don’t know. God please make a wiser person than I am. Since I was a kid I have never known when to shut up.

in spite of all that? the boss of this place is nice to me. and to others - i’ve heard her apologize when she’s made mistakes, and she inquires about our lives, etc. it’s been difficult to go from finding her exasperating to chatting with her normally. seriously i need magic to make this go smoothly. i will either cry or blow up and embarrass myself by the end if i dont learn to face adversity like an adult.