#I don't need to touch grass I need to touch that unfinished fic I left in the summer of 2019

[34saveme34]

IT'S FINALLY HERE !!!!

I recommend reading Sever the Ties before reading this one! As it does have references to it so reading this fic without context might make this fic more non sensical.

warnings: Gore although not explored to an uncomfortable amount, trauma upon trauma, Axol gets brought up in an awful way, I know that Mercy is from Overwatch

It turned out a bit gayer than I thought it would. If you end up having any questions after reading this, don't be afraid to ask :3 I'll try my best to answer you

obligatory @birrdify tag so you can find this beast easy !!

word count:16451

It had been a while since 3 and 4 had their rather emotional adventure. Since then, things have been better. 3 finally let 4 help him more seriously with the café while 4 let 3 help him with his videos. 3 still didn't want to just take help without anything so this was the compromise they reached. The others were peaceful too, 1 and 2 calmly doing their meme research, Meggy, Melony and Tari training together, mainly Tari since Clench appeared. Although he wasn't very fond of that. They had to give him duck pictures every few minutes to comply. He's like a toddler. Saiko was there too, although more passively, just making sure everything was okay. Everything that had been happening lately just had her really worried. Although she didn't show that, she didn't want to worry her friends. And usually when she would show concern, people many times thought she was overreacting.

Luigi was tending to his flower shop like usual, just… Very Peaceful.

Everything was just. A bit too peaceful, very little chaos present, almost worryingly.

4 started thinking about it. It was weird. He searched for Mario and, interestingly, found him in one of the unfinished rooms, watching TV. 

He only managed to find him because a set of extension cords plugged into each other were leading to a room there.

“Mario?” 4 peaked in the room to see only the TV’s light and Mario, anything else that could’ve been there was obscured by the darkness.

“... Yeah?” Mario replied a bit slowly.

“What… What are you doing up here?”

“Watching Tee Vee” Mario said cheerfully. TV made Mario very happy.

“Why here?”

“Nothing distracts me here” 

“Huh, um… alright. I was just worried because you haven't been bothering anyone for a while”

“Awww, SMG4, you miss it?”

“Um-”

“Oh my god, you miss when I mess with you guys! That's so funny” 

“Mario… I guess. I guess I did miss it”

Mario chuckled.

“Sometimes even Mario has to rest you know”

“Yeah, I get that… what are you watching anyways?”

4 asked as he walked beside Mario to see what he was so occupied with. It turned out to be what 4 would guess is a spaghetti themed soap opera, considering the vibes of the scene he saw with pasta in shape of a man and also some in shape of a woman arguing then making out and then arguing again-

“It's very entertaining”

“I… sure see that…”

4 wasn't exactly that big of a fan of such dramatic television. 4 went to leave the room but stopped for a bit.

“Make sure to do something other than watch TV though. Dark rooms…. have their effects…” 

“Okay, mom” Mario dismissed 4.

4 rolled his eyes then finally actually left. Besides, he had a lot of videos to work on with 3. It was kind of interesting working with him like this. Especially that things are really looking up now.

Although Mario wasn’t exactly respectful towards 4, he still took his word. But not to touch grass. He found a show that reminded him of Two Piece.

“Ooooh, Melony would love this!” Mario picked up the TV and ran with it in the direction of Melony. Actually, he wasn’t even running, he was flying like a torpedo. Must be all his pent up energy bursting out of him or something.

He found Melony sleeping. He repeatedly tapped her until she woke up.

“Hmm..? Mario?” she looked at him tired “Do you need something?”

“Mario found a show you might like!!” he slammed down the TV with excitement. The giddiness was kind of rubbing off on Melony. 

“I’ll take a look at it then” she smiled, clapping her hands together. 

Mario took off incredibly fast, which surprised Melony a bit. She thought cardio wasn’t his thing but guess that isn’t always the case after all.

The show was really fun for Melony, truly exploring the depths of fruit romance, in ways that resonated with her so deeply. She wished she could just… absorb it into her. She never saw romance between fruits shown so intimately. With the way they’d hold each other, holding onto each other until the end. Though she was especially sad about a pairing where one of them lost their life to an evil chef. Oh, she awfully hated that chef. She actually kind of resonated with the character that got left lonely. She wished… she could just grab her, pull her out of the screen… Tell her, it won’t be easy but… it’ll pass one day. Everything will be okay. And she also loved the way fruits rotting were depicted. She usually wasn’t quite comfortable with the topic but there was just… something so well done about it here. Slowly seeing your loved one succumb to a different, much more deteriorated life.

The deep excitement she felt about the show slowly put her to sleep. It was odd for her to sleep like that but hey! Sleep is always good.

She found herself in a black void. Though she could feel ground underneath. She breathed in. Breathed out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Relax.

She tried to make out anything in her surroundings. As she walked around, her steps echoed, although it didn’t sound right. The way how even just the sound of her breath would bounce off the walls, then the sound ringing in her ears. She wasn’t exactly the cowardly type but this was starting to freak her out.

Regardless, she marched on, trying to find a way out of whatever she was in. She found a doorway that was blocked by debris. She sighed then thought for a bit… She had her deity powers. She tried to pick up the debris bit by bit but for some reason, even the smallest bits felt infinitely heavy. Even just a dust particle made her sink into the floor, no matter how much she tried. She sat down on the ground. It had been a while since she felt so powerless.  She didn’t think she would find herself digging out such feelings she held. She thought she got rid of them at this point. Though there will always be inevitable things she won’t be able to escape.

She just sat there. Her breath. Echoing. Yet it was so deeply quiet. Way too quiet. Ringing in her ear, the depths of this nothingness she was trapped in. It had been a while since something was threatening to drive her mad this badly. She finally got up, walking in a different direction. Maybe she’ll find the way out that way. Or at least a purpose so she could stop feeling so worthless again. She knew her friends cared but she still couldn’t quite shake off everything she was feeling. Especially after missing out on so much. She was wondering if she felt that way because she had been avoiding new adventures so much. Sleeping away another day or 2, in hopes that tomorrow would be a new day she could finally do something more. 

As she walked, she found a doorway with a beaten up door barely in its place. As she looked at it closer, she noticed blood splatter on it. Some of it looked old… some of it new. She was starting to feel rather anxious. Although she should be strong, the sight of blood always did something to her head. As if reminding her of times she would rather forget about.

She barely thought much more as she opened the door. Hell, to her it almost felt like she was being controlled. As she looked around, a horrific sight filled her view. It was Axol. He tried to speak but…that wouldn’t have been possible, looking at his state. She couldn’t speak either. She couldn’t call out. She didn't want this. She JUST had this image slowly fading from her mind. The time when she had to kill him for the good of everyone. He wanted her to kill him at that point. They both knew there was nothing else they could do. Yet, she would still be often haunted by this scene. A scene only she had to witness. Only she had the burden of having to see the light leave his eyes, to see him go limp, lifeless. And now, it was so clearly in front of her, so deeply visceral. Just as visceral as it was in the moment. She cried, she couldn’t help it. She slowly managed to make herself look away. It was hard to do from everything that was boiling within her then. 

Wait… She couldn’t really be back there. This must just be a nightmare! A really bad one but still, it wasn’t real. She began to walk away from Axol, slowly breathing in and out. After that awful scene, the awful music of the void like rooms were almost welcoming, even if it felt like they wanted to swallow her whole. As she walked, another familiar sound filled her ears. Sounds of drawing with a pencil on paper. As she walked closer to the source, she saw herself, drawing for the manga, Two Piece, which Axol wasn’t able to finish. There were so many crumpled papers scattered around her, her expression tired, focused but emitting a sort of hopelessness. She remembered this… Starting off really wasn’t easy. So many times she just… She just wanted to give up. But with her friends around it was better. She stared at herself for a bit. She wanted to say something.

She placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey… You’ll be fine”

Her tired self stopped, then slowly looked at her. No words escaping her mouth. Yet those eyes showed so much. All the ways she suffered with everything. The amount of work she put into it. 

“I” she started again “...We… We might not make it perfect. But that’s okay. Axol wouldn’t expect that anyways, you know? We… still carried his legacy. That’s what only matters in the end” 

Her tired self teared up and pushed her away, going back to hopelessly scribbling.

“Do you even hear me?? We’ll be fine! I promise! A mediocre manga isn’t the end of the world!”

Her tired self slowly raised her hands, bruised from holding the pencil so tightly and for so long. She stared at her. Her eyes were screaming thousands of words. She knew all of it. All the pain. All the doubt. The tears, the needless bruises she bore through it all. She knew it wasn’t for nothing. But it would be too much for anybody on their own. Maybe even with help. 

With being so invested in her feelings, she only noticed an unfamiliar hand on her forehead when she heard a crack.

She woke up, sweating. She looked around. Just where she was before, with the TV still playing the fruit show. She slowly calmed down. It was finally over. Although the images that the dream left in her brain… She couldn’t bear them alone so… best thing to do is to go outside and tell someone about it. That would usually help her. She got up, fixing her hoodie.

She looked out of the room, seeing Meggy and Tari both resting and Saiko beside the 2, calmly strumming on her guitar. They must’ve been training even after she left. She admired how resilient they both were. Even Tari. After everything she had also been through with everyone, she changed a bit too. To her it felt like inspiration. 

“Hi, girls!” she cheered at the 3. 

All 3 looked her way saying hi back but stopping, all of them looking at her horrified. She felt a bit confused.

“Why are you looking at me so weird? Is… my hair looking weird or-”

“Your… face” Saiko was the only one speaking up.

“My face?” Melony slowly felt her face, from her chin to her forehead, her fingers brushing over her usual features until she felt something weird by her forehead. As she trailed along lines she could feel were like valleys on her face. She rushed to the bathroom, the other 3 running after her, with Saiko at the front of it. 

Melony looked in the mirror, her face was cracked like a mask. Wait… The nightmare… the crack before she woke up. It was starting to make sense. Too bad she wasn’t too happy about that. 

The other 3 finally caught up to her, finally being able to be by her side.

“Melony…” Tari looked like she could cry for Melony. Melony could cry too. She couldn’t take it, so she hugged Tari. Meggy patted her on the back and she got pulled in the hug too. Saiko stood there before Melony locked eyes with her and oops, she was in the hug now too. 

“I- I.. I can use all the comfort right now” she spoke quietly. Saiko understood.

They stood there like that for a while. 

“So…” Saiko started “What… happened?”

“Uh… I… I had a nightmare”

“About?”

“Well… Axol”

All 3 looked at her concerned.

“It’s been a while since he showed up like that in your dreams”

“I know! I don’t know… I don’t know why… Oh and… I heard a crack in my nightmare… so…”

Saiko already looked angry.

“I’ll look around in your room” she left.

The 3 looked after her sadly.

“I didn’t know it was still that bad…” Meggy commented again, feeling kind of guilty, as if it was her fault that Melony had such an awful nightmare.

“I thought it wasn’t either” Melony sounded sad.

Tari leaned on her more, trying to comfort her better.

“I know you were getting better! There must be an explanation for this… I think… This is unusual for you?”

Meggy and Melony shared a look, as they both realised Tari is right.

“We must get to the bottom of this” Meggy piped up, as she left the bathroom, going after Saiko. Tari followed, though stopped in the doorway.

“Are you coming too?”

Melony calmed herself a little, lightly clenching her fists, preparing herself to face whatever may come her way. Then she gave a small nod and followed after Tari. 

They all got to where Melony slept before, the TV still in there, undisturbed for the most part. As there was nothing wrong with it, except for the fact that it was turned off. As Melony was looking at it, it was as if the screen itself was crawling deep into her soul. She wasn’t sure if she felt uncomfortable by it or not. But it was a strong feeling either way.

“What is this TV?” Saiko asked Melony.

“Well, Mario showed me a cool show on it. I actually watched it until I fell asleep”

Saiko looked back and forth between the TV and Melony. Seemingly, Tari was slowly catching on.

“Do you think… the show has something to do with it?” Tari looked at Saiko, lightly cocking her head to the side.

“I would say yeah”

“But the show was so good! I’ve never watched something so nice! It’s probably just the show that made me think of the past but that’s- that’s understandable! It was genuinely nice”

“What kinda show was it?” Tari asked.

“It kind of reminded me of Two Piece actually” she cheered.

“Oh, I love Two Piece! Could we watch it together sometime?” Meggy joined.

Saiko was a bit stupefied as the 3 went on to talk about the show as if there was nothing wrong. She still couldn’t shake off the fact that Melony’s face looked like that. She had to go look for answers. And… She might have had just the right idea…

It had been a few days then, Melony’s face still cracked but it seemed she cared less and less. Everybody else around just- seemed to care less. Especially as everyone seemed to be occupied with shows of their dreams. Meggy with a show with so much action and fighting she only could dream of. With wonderful character development, she was mesmerized. Not only that, the female lead absolutely had her from first sight, perfect role for someone so interesting. Playing the whole part perfectly, trying to survive in a world that tried to get rid of her and turning up victorious against all odds. Tari was watching a cutesy show, it was peaceful but still kind of mature with the way the characters talked. She related to the very real issues the characters had while adoring their adorable designs. They seemed to lead much more normal, relaxed lives than what they’ve been having in SMG4. It almost felt idyllic to her. She was close to just… jumping into the TV to escape everything else. 3 and 4 were too busy with their work to even notice at this point. It seemed, even together they can get a bit carried away. Or maybe flirting during work did them in a bit. And nobody even noticed that Saiko was still gone.

This continued. And only got worse. 3 and 4 only realised when barely any customers were coming in.

“You think we messed up? Do they think this place is bad again?” 3 sounded worried.

“No way, we’ve been doing so well! There must be an explanation” 4 wrapped his arm around 3 to comfort him. As usual, it did sort of work. 

“I say we close up and look around”

“Just what I was thinking!”

They closed the café for the day.They first approached the castle, maybe the crew could know something about what was going on. 

They both entered the castle. It was way too quiet. 

“This is creepy” 3 quietly commented.

4 looked at him, that teasing look in his eyes.

“What’s the whispering for? Are you scared someone else will hear you and know you’re a coward?” he laughed.

3 grabbed 4’s face.

“As if you’re not scared!”

“A bit maybe” 4 laughed. 3 pressed a soft kiss on 4’s lips before moving ahead.

4 was left like a smiling idiot before moving along with 3.

They looked around everywhere, not seeing anybody.

Except… Mario. Mario was watching TV, just like how last time 4 really managed to talk to him. Because of work he didn’t manage to hang out with him as much as he wanted to. 

“Mario! Are you at fault for people disappearing??” 3 barged into the room Mario was watching TV in. It was the same room 4 found him in before.

“Shhh!!” Mario shushes 3.

“Dude! This is serious!” 4 chimed in.

They both got slapped out of the room.

“Mario’s watching TV!! Go away!!”

They both got up, it was quite the landing as Mario slapped them pretty hard. 3 had a devious smile on. 4 looked concerned.

“Hey… 4… I have an idea. But you might not like it”

“Say it anyways”

“We could… unplug the electricity! He can’t watch TV then!”

4 thought about it.

“Well- Damn it, what else can we do anyways, let’s go”

“Heh… didn’t even need to convince you this time”

“I just don’t have a better idea”

3 chuckled. They went down to the basement to turn the electricity off. As they came up, they quickly met with a very distraught Mario. And quickly he also went past them. Screaming something about spaghetti. They followed him to see that he devoured the whole fridge.

“M… Mario?” 4 asked him carefully, he was kinda scared.

Mario saw him and ran out. 3 and 4 ran after him to see him yanking the extension cords with might and devouring the TV whole. 

“Much better” he cooed as he sat on the ground, seemingly satisfied with himself.

“What… What was that Mario?” 4 was in disbelief.

Mario raised one finger then lowered it as he thought.

“I remembered I was very hungry! I couldn’t think! TV tasted kind of weird but it’s fine”

“Sure, man” 3 wasn’t even surprised anymore. Mario just pulls stuff like this.

“So… Mario…. Where are the others?” 4 asked, trying not to freak out as he remembered their original goal when they came into the castle.

“Hmmmm…. Mario doesn’t know…. Let’s look together?”

“Sure, come with” 4 said as he now led the way outside.

Walking around, everywhere was kind of quiet. 

“Oh, sure hope this isn’t like that one time Mario stopped time…” Mario sounded scared.

“We’re still moving, idiot, you didn’t accidentally stop time” 3 replied.

“Yeah, 3’s right”

“You’re only saying that because you’re gay for him….” Mario pouted, looking away, crossing his arms.

“Just because I love him I’m not gonna spare him from the truth”

“You heard him!”

“Hmmmm…” Mario wasn’t convinced.

“Besides, what have you been doing all this time?” 4 questioned Mario.

“Watching TV. Only that really”

“Damn, shut in” 3 laughed.

“I… I felt glued to the screen. So… yeah…” Mario looked away from the 2. 3 felt bad almost immediately.

“Okay dude… I guess it’s not your fault- at least you’re outside now” 3 attempted to apologise.

“You tried” 4 didn’t spare 3 of the truth.

3 rolled his eyes.

Mario suddenly stopped by a window. 3 and 4 stopped too, to see him looking at a TV.

“Don’t tell me you’re trying to watch TV again-” 4 was about to freak out on Mario. 

“No no- look” Mario said, pointing at the TV “This is just like the one I had at home!”

The 2 looked at it closely, and recognised it. Not only that, they saw familiar faces on TV. Acting nothing like themselves. Their friends were stuck in shows. 

“That looks like the TV guy’s head who manipulated you” 4 almost shouted with how angry he was at just the sight of the TV.

3 was more calm, at least on the outside. He was more scared if anything. He really didn’t want to see that guy again. 

“That means… that abandoned studio! We… we need to go back there” 4 said.

3 looked uncomfortable.

“Do we… really have to? I mean uh, it’s not like I’m scared but-”

“It’s okay, 3… I believe in us. This is… for all of our friends”

“Our friends… you’re- you’re right but-”

“You’re scared he could take advantage of you again, aren’t you?” Mario pointed at 3.

Both were a bit shocked.

“I… I am” 3 looked at him “How… How did you know?”

Mario twirled around once before finally giving a reply.

“Mario cares about his friends”

3 was a bit flustered by that.

“Aww, you’re still not used to being called a friend! 3 !!!” 4 teased him while hugging him.

“Awww, SMG3!!” Mario joined in on the hugging as well.

“C- Can- Can we just go, please??” 3 cried out. The other 2 laughed as they now got going to that very dreaded place. At least they felt a bit better now.

Just as they were about to go in, even if they likely just. Weren’t allowed to, they got grabbed from behind. 

And, my god… All 3 screamed.

“What- quiet, oh my god” the very mysterious TV man said as he stepped back from the 3.

“What are you doing to our friends? Let them GO??!” 4 was ready to throw hands. He was so furious.

“Hold your horses, SMG4, we didn’t even have a formal introduction yet!”

“Hell if I care, I just want you dead” 4 didn’t look like he was kidding. 

The TV headed man looked unamused. 

“I should’ve expected that…” he reached a finger towards 4, stopping him in his place.

“Now! Might I introduce myself! I’m Mr Puzzles, the head of Puzzlevision, a studio that is on its way to be THE best one. You’re walking on historic grounds”

“This place was a dump not too long ago”

“Oh, you must’ve dreamed that!! And what an awful dream that sounds” Puzzles grinned, a menacing aura emanating from his gaze.

“Wh… What but… you… we… we…”  3 felt scared again. 4  wanted to move so badly to comfort him but couldn’t.

Mario wasn’t sure what to do. He realised, he needed to stop thinking. And so he stopped his needless thoughts and rammed right into Puzzles like a bull. It was so sudden, Puzzles had no way to react.

“Oh why YOU-” 

It was then that Mario realised he got himself into a bit of a pickle. He didn’t have time to think, he launched himself right into the studio.

“YOU CAN’T GO IN THERE” Puzzles ran after Mario, looking so angry he was tearing up from it. 

3 sighed, looking at the still frozen 4. He couldn’t hide it, he felt a bit hopeless. He grabbed 4’s frozen hand with which he was trying to reach for Puzzles. His hand still had the warmth he was very familiar with. At least something to comfort him amongst everything.He only stopped feeling so pensive when he could feel 4 move a finger. He got so excited, he squeezed 4’s hand as he then fell over with him. 3 chuckled, feeling a little stupid, a little embarrassed. 

“Sorry, man” 4 chuckled back as he tried to get up.

“A little more?” 3 held 4 back.

“I appreciate that but- on the ground?”

“Okay okay, fine” 3 looked away as he got up. 

“No need to be embarrassed! I do love your hugs” 

3 sighed as he pulled 4 in for a quick peck on his lips.

“Yea yea but we have bigger things to worry about right now! That TV guy is still definitely chasing Mario”

“Mario! Right! Oh god, I hope he’s okay” 4 ran in, 3 followed after.

“Probably-” as they walked in, the place was in chaos. They looked around, finally finding the 2 with Mario being about to be caught.

“Mario!” 4 cried out when he saw him. Puzzles got distracted, which gave Mario the chance to fight back as he punched Puzzles’s screen. And not lightly at that. The sound of it shattering. It was as if the whole building went silent. Puzzles seemed to stop. It was so quiet, you could hear their breathing.

Puzzles slowly looked back to Mario, holding his own face. His gaze rained on Mario like an avalanche. He wasn’t exactly one to feel intimidated but here he was. It was as if the TV was bleeding pure technicolour. The TV itself still somehow worked, although glitchy. His head twitched. 

3 had enough of watching as he kicked Puzzles in his shin. It distracted him long enough that the 3 of them could escape Puzzles’s grasp. For now.

They ran and hid in a room. It was dark. Not pitch black but pretty dark. As their eyes adjusted, they noticed 3 chairs by each other. It was a bit weird. Mario took a seat without thinking much about it. 

“Mario, you can’t do that!” 4 tried to warn Mario who really didn’t give a single damn. 

“Why can’t I? It’s just a chair!”

3 and 4 were staring at Mario for a bit, nothing seemed to happen.

“Eh, might as well” 3 took another seat.

4 gave into peer pressure, sitting down himself.

“Okay, but we still need to figure out what to do about this guy… But more importantly, how to save our friends.”

“Yeah… I don’t get it. I thought we got rid of him then!” 3 grumbled.

“If anything, he acted as your wingman with how long you took to get together” Mario said rather nonchalantly. 

The 2 stared at him.

“I bet we would’ve realised without him!” 4 felt upset, 3 patted him on the back.

“Yeah! And our confession to each other would’ve been so much better if he didn’t step in!” 3 was upset at the idea that Mario proposed as well.

“Not to my knowledge”

“What do you know anyways?” 3 was agitated.

Mario just grinned so wide, even in the dark it was annoying.

Just as 3 was considering hitting Mario, light appeared in the room, in the form of a TV.

3 and 4 felt rather scared, jumping into each other’s arms, maybe even considering leaving while Mario looked excited.

“Yay TV time!” Mario cheered, as if he wasn’t JUST chased by a TV headed man out to kill him.

3 and 4 sat back, trying to calm down. A film started playing.

As the credits rolled, they recognised some names. Their friends were playing in the movie.

3 and 4 shared a glance while Mario was almost glued to the screen. 

Then the title came up.

…

“The fragmented director”

The scene opened with a montage of a cheerful kid, drawing and getting older over time. Just as the time passed, his drawings were getting better too, more advanced, as if it could escape the screen and get you. Especially because they were animated. The film continued with the now teenager making more and more things. So much of it felt like a reference to something, especially from big movies and shows. 

3 and Mario didn’t quite see it, but 4 was starting to get uncomfortable with how alone the kid seemed to be. Nobody else appeared in the scenes so far, just this kid and his drawings. 4 could relate in his own way. Thinking about all the times he locked himself up to work on things, just as lonely as this character, chosen but still painful loneliness. He was starting to feel it maybe a little too much…

“Dude.. are you crying?” 3 whispered to him.

As 4 took his hand to his face, indeed, tears were streaming down his face. How did he not realise it?

Mario looked at him too, immediately feeling worried for 4 as he leaned on him, trying to give him at least some physical comfort.

“It’s okay… I’m okay… just… a little too relatable”

3 shook his head, holding 4 himself. 4 was trapped in the hold of the 2 people he cared about the most…It was reassuring as he managed to look back at the screen.

The next scene began as the adult version of the once teen entered an office. As the scene continued, it became obvious that he got a job in the animation industry. He was still rather painfully lonely, even if there were people in the background. They were never directly interacting with him.

As the scene went on, he seemed to have more and more workload on his desk. His hand was shaking, his eyes not focused, with eyebags. He was overworked. He couldn’t stand it. It was obvious. 

The scene ended with him finally clocking out and heading home. 

4 was starting to feel weird about the relation of the title to the actual contents of the movie. This guy was nowhere near to being at such a high position, neither did he seem fragmented. It gave him a bad feeling. 

It was late at night when the scene opened again. The man couldn’t sleep. He got up and went outside. The night looked peaceful, everything looked serene. The sky was just as pretty as ever.

The man looked up at the sky, as if wishing for something, then he went inside. 

He seemed to think for a bit, before getting out a box full of DVDs of movies he could watch. As he was searching, he didn’t hear it. He didn’t feel it. He didn’t know what was coming. It was loud, sudden. Fatal. It ripped his head right off, whatever it was. The scene was dark enough that you wouldn’t be able to see too much detail, just enough to make out what happened. It left 4 stunned, but 3 seemed to take it worse as he noticeably hugged him tighter when the scene happened.

The scene slowly closed with slowly zooming in on the TV, kind of damaged yet for some reason it still seemed to be on and flickering.

The scene went dark, then it opened in the studio the guy worked at. It seemed the workplace was more alive. With some people chatting on a break, others working on stuff together, helping each other. Although it wasn’t corporate grade efficient, people were definitely having more fun.

Slowly, as the scene panned from everyone working, it seemed to go to one door. A closed door. The door slowly opened. As if for a split second it looked bloody everywhere, the red mixing with a familiar technicolour mixed within, making the scene pretty yet still gruesome. However the scene went back to normal, as if nothing was ever out of the ordinary. 

The door revealed the all too familiar Mr Puzzles sitting behind the desk in a rather comfortable chair, directly looking at the camera. He was smiling, although it started to feel more threatening. 

The scene switched back to the dark, red scene. Puzzles was holding a guy, limp. His expression and the amount of blood on him seemed to indicate that he killed the man. There was just enough detail on there to see that the dead man was dressed in formal attire. It seemed similar to what Puzzles was wearing, as if to indicate the idea that he took his place. The screen suddenly went black. 

Then the outside of the studio was shown. Time seemed to have passed, as the text “A few years later” showed up on the screen. The studio was much bigger than what it seemed to be before. It looked like Puzzles brought the place to success. Just as someone with a gun just barely managed to appear on the side of the frame, the scene changed, being on the inside, full of very happy workers. Maybe too happy. Uncanny happy. But they were working.

The scene then switched to a smug Mr Puzzles, looking at something. The scene then switched to what he was looking at, which seemed to be a list on a computer with other studios’ names crossed out. It kind of looked like a hit list for competition in a way.

 But just then. Gunshot. Screaming. And bam, the atmosphere changed. The environment coated red, with bodies littered everywhere, mercilessly. The figure that showed up in the frame before walked by, just as mysterious as before. Walking till they reached an all too familiar office. Though this time, it wasn’t Puzzles’s doing that everywhere was covered in blood. Perhaps the movie was just foreshadowing this. Because it was hard to deny that the scenes when 3 and 4 thought about it - Mario was busy thinking about spaghetti at the sight of the colour red - were way too similar for it to be a coincidence. 

The door opens again. Puzzles looked terrified but not shocked. It was almost like he was expecting this to happen. 

“I’m doing this for everyone” the chilling text read on the screen, oddly enough it was centered. Behind it the gun was slowly raised at Puzzles, who didn’t seem to do anything about it. He was expecting it for sure. 

The screen went dark as soon as the gun was fired. Then a familiar scene showed up. With 3 and 4 when they were in the ruins of the studio. There wasn’t any audio but it was obvious they were being gay. Mario teasingly pointed at the screen, making both 3 and 4 roll their eyes.

However, after they were out from the crumbling building, once they were gone, a hand reached out from the ruins. A very familiar hand at this point. And that was where it ended. Although an abrupt ending, they could sort of start to guess what happened after this.

4 wished he could beat everything that’s left alive in him at this point. He was really tired of this guy. Although the movie had him kind of confused. How did he come back to life? What was even the thing that killed him? And… How did he acquire anti meme energy?

He hated coming back to this same point that had his head in the clouds, clouds that compared to the worst storms. He did get headaches from thinking about it sometimes. He was too curious yet he couldn’t figure it out… The Godbox was no more. They destroyed it. Wasn’t that the only place where anti memes would occur? It didn’t make any sense. And yet he tried and struggled for an answer either way to no avail. But it felt like he was missing something. Like a missing fragment of a puzzle that just wouldn’t complete.

He looked to 3, seemingly with a similar reaction. 3 looked back at him. While first with confusion, his expression heavily changed when he realised.

“We brought this bitch back to life!!”

“What?” 4 was as confused as ever. Clueless idiot.

“Our meme energy? I think… I don’t know…” 3 looked down, not quite sure now himself either.

“Hmmm” Mario joined in the convo “Maybe SMG1 and 2 could help?” 

“Wow, smart!... From Mario. What a day” 3 laughed. 4 laughed too, maybe looking at 3 a bit too strongly.

Mario rolled his eyes at the gays, getting up from the chair.

“We don’t have all day… besides” Mario patted his tummy “Mario is about to crave some mad spaghetti”

3 and 4 exchanged glances, before they got up and walked to the door as well, cautiously opening it. Nothing seemed to be around. Nobody. Not a soul. So empty their tiny breaths could echo. 

They left the room, walking out in the chaos Mario left. This felt… too easy… Though, they still didn’t know what happened to their friends. Only thing 4 noticed was they sometimes showed up in the background of that peculiar movie. They weren’t exactly in the focus so it took him a bit to realise that they were appearing from time to time. 

Just as they were about to walk out of the door, Puzzles appeared again. His screen was fixed. It was quite fast for being so damaged.

“Mario can kick you again!!” Mario piped up “I’ll beat your ass”

Puzzles flicked his hand and stopped Mario in place.

He walked up to the other 2 as he shoved Mario out of the way.

“Enough of him, I wanted to offer you 2 something” his now well known menacing gaze came back.

“What?? No, I don’t want anything from you!!” 4 could care less.

“Really now? Not even your friends?” Puzzles laughed.

“Our… our friends”

“You’re a sick freak, I hope you know that” 3 tried to comfort 4 while staring daggers.

“I’ve been told, yes… but… my deal for you, SMG4”

4 stayed silent.

“You see… I’ve never seen SUCH a strong need for great content as yours. Your will to create… It’s rather marvelous. And I need it. If you joined me… We could make something perfect. I know… I know how long you have been chasing that, even if you don’t tell anybody. I know”

4  looked at him shocked. He couldn’t reply. Puzzles wasn’t wrong.

“Seems I gotcha, didn’t I?” he laughed “Regardless… I was hoping you could join me in this endless endeavor” 

“4…?” 3 looked at 4 worried.

3 didn’t take long getting angry.

“He- He’s not leaving this world behind! I know he enjoys it more when it’s authentic and fun, he doesn’t need you and your artificial concept of perfection”

“Well, just look at him! Don’t you see it in his eyes?” Puzzles leaned closer to 4 “I can see it… that utterly strong urge in him to always prove himself… to prove himself worthy of people’s attention. And I can give that to him, unlike you” 

“I helped him finish the perfect video though”

“And I got him there. I gave him the needed tool to make sure it could even happen in the first place. You 2 don’t even come close to what my tools can do on their own… Imagine how much greater… maybe even both of you would be? Wouldn’t it be great? Finally… achieving perfection, the height of creation… and, leaving behind the times when people didn’t even care about you, SMG3”

Puzzles grinned wide, seeing how he managed to get to the both of them until he got hit hard on his head.

“HUH??” he turned around to see Mario “HOW DID YOU UNFREEZE YOURSELF??”

“Kiss my ass” Mario threw it back before he started running around like crazy. Puzzles could feel something snap in him as he went to chase after him, even if that wasn’t the logical thing to do.

3 and 4 used that time to get away and find 1 and 2 to figure out what’s going on.

It took a while but at least they got away from Puzzles’s grasps.

“3…?”

“Yeah, 4?”

“You… You think Mario will be fine?”

“I… I’m sure. You know he’s strong”

“Yeah but-” 4 stopped “I feel guilty. We just left him there”

3 stopped beside 4, slightly annoyed.

“Maybe… we can lessen his suffering if we speed up and try to get to SMG1 and 2 as fast as possible!” 3 was rather snarky but it worked, as 4 shook his head then looked up to the sky, hope sparking within him.

“You’re right”

“Of course I am, now let’s get going, you lovable loser”

4 laughed at the name before he hurried along.

They got into the city. It was rather empty. No buses even going around. Cars left unattended. 3 already had his villainous look come up on his face.

“4, we gotta steal a car, dude”

“No… Not today, 3. We’ve gotta get to them without committing several crimes along the way.”

3 rolled his eyes.

They looked around more. Waited around. Genuinely, everywhere was empty.

“Okay… we’ll steal a car”

3 immediately chose one that he had been eying for a bit and got into the driver seat, speedrunning hacking it so it can be driven without a key. 4 just took the shotgun seat with a tired sigh.

“Got it!” 3 cheered.

“Alright, just start driving or who knows what will happen to Mario”

“Already ahead of you!”

And they sped off. No cops anyways so 3 wasn’t respecting any of the rules of the road. That much was expected though.

They got there pretty quickly considering there was nobody to chase them either for speeding.

They got out and knocked on 1 and 2’s door in their apartment which they had to sadly break into. There wasn’t anyone there to stop them anyways.

An exhausted 1 opened the door, who looked at them weird for a second before feeling relieved.

“Thank god you 2 are okay! Come in” he motioned for them to go inside.

Inside they saw 2 being greatly buried in research. It seemed they were looking for something. Saiko was there as well, doing her part in research as well. Though she looked more exhausted than the other 2.

“...Saiko? You’re okay?” 4 felt surprised.

She took a bit to look away from the book she was trying to get through.

“Okay is an overstatement”

“She’s been looking for a way to help Melony” 1 added context.

“What happened to her?” 4 asked.

“You didn’t see? Her face cracked, and from what I found… It might not be so great. But I… I’ve been looking either way. I wish I could help her”

“Geez… 4, maybe we’ve overdone the whole uh…” 3 turned to 4.

“We’ve been way too busy… we barely realised what was happening… How long have you been here?”

“About… a few days?”

“8 days and counting” 1 said before going back to searching himself. 

“Well… 3 and I figured something out… And it might not look so great”

“Oh? A new lead is probably what we need right now” 2 crawled out of the books then yawned. Although he seemed intent to listen either way.

“So… I’m pretty sure it’s our fault…”

“What?” 1 looked up surprised “What did you do?”

“You remember that big amount of energy we caused when we uh… mended our guardian bond?”

“...Oh”

“The TV that had been haunting us used it to come back to life”

“It seems that was his plan all along” 3 commented “What an insidious freak… kinda envious in a sense”

4 looked at him, unamused.

“Anyways” 4 continued “I don’t know if I mentioned it before but… I’m starting to feel more and more scared about the idea that he had access to anti meme energy”

“Yeah… that shouldn’t be possible. We destroyed the Godbox!” 2, although tired, was still very adamant about that.

“At least we thought it seems…” 1 said.

Everyone looked at him.

“But we saw it blow up!” 4 joined.

“But you said it yourself. And both of you felt anti meme energy so…. you would know, no?” 

4 wanted to combat it with something but he couldn’t.

“I just don’t… I don’t get it… I thought we destroyed it”

“Wait…” 3 thought for a bit “We didn’t destroy it… it was only blown up”

“Isn’t… that the same thing?”

“No! You see… explosions don’t destroy anything in a meaningful way… they tear things apart. If you exploded right now, we would still have the material you were made of!”

“... You want me to blow up?” 4 looked sad.

“No, you idiot” 3 chuckled “I just brought it up as an example. But if you continue that way…” 3 winked at 4 before getting back to the issue at hand. 4 understood the implications and became rather flustered.

“So you’re saying…” 1 seemed to catch on “fragments of the Godbox could be still out there?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying”

“Oh no…” 2 seemed to start panicking a little.

“Oh no indeed” 4 added on. He didn’t seem any better.

“We would… love to go right away but” 1 yawned “Well you know…”

Saiko already seemed to lean against the wall as a book slipped out from her grasp.

“Mhmm” she seemed to agree with the unspoken need to just pass out right about then.

“I don’t know… will Mario hold out until then?” 4 thought out loud, which made 1 and 2 go wide eyed despite their god awful sleepiness.

“What… What?” 1 questioned.

“We… only managed to get away because of Mario distracting the insane TV headed guy” 3 confessed, it felt heavy either way.

“Oh no..”

“Do we… Do we trust Mario? We… can’t go back alone” 4 proposed, although he didn’t feel good about it.

“I… I’m afraid yes” 1 felt just as bad about it. Everyone did. Mario didn’t deserve this.

They all decided to go rest up for today, they wouldn’t be quite as useful this tired anyways. 

Although the guest room was taken, there was still a measly couch for 3 and 4. Saiko offered to switch but the 2 declined, saying she needs the best rest possible. It was great to feel cared for. She would’ve felt bad if she declined at that point.

Although 1, 2 and Saiko were quickly all asleep in their respectful sleeping places, 3 and 4 had a harder time.

4 laid on top of 3, it was at least a nice feeling to be close like this. 3 was  petting 4’s head, which 4 laid on 3’s chest. 

“Are you able to sleep?” 3 asked him softly.

4 raised his head up.

“I’m trying to…”

“I’m worried too, 4…”

“I just hope he’ll be okay”

“We’ll make sure of it, okay? I promise” 3 held 4’s face in an attempt to comfort him. 4 scooted a little closer to 3’s face to give him a short kiss.

“Okay” 4 smiled.

“Now sleep, blue, a long day is ahead of us tomorrow… as if we never have big evil to fight… we should take a vacation at some point”

4 chuckled at the suggestion.

“You’re right”

They finally laid down for good, managing to sort of fall asleep.

Mario didn’t have such a great time with Puzzles. The man was chasing him endlessly and was trying to trap him in some sort of substance. The whole area around the studio was covered in it. They both felt tired and yet Puzzles persisted, seemingly angrier and angrier with every strike he attempted to throw Mario’s way. His aim was definitely getting worse. But he got so tired, he raised both of his hands up together and in a downwards motion made enough appear to cover the place with it. Mario wasn’t able to run anymore. He got sucked right in. But Puzzles did so too.

Then, Mario found himself in a dark void.

“Am I dead?” he screamed as he got up “Is this hell??”

“Shut up, heathen” Puzzles didn’t take his behaviour well “You’re being too loud for my taste”

“Am I in hell??” Mario whisper shouted.

Puzzles rolled his eyes.

“No. I actually accidentally trapped both of us” he sighed “I have to be trapped with YOU of all people” 

“You don’t like Mario and his sexiness, huh, TV man?”

“You PUNCHED in my screen??”

“You lived? Haha, cope seethe” 

“YoouUUUU” he got up again, going for Mario’s throat.

Mario tried to punch his screen again, though he couldn’t quite reach. In a moment of desperation, he bit down on Puzzles’s hand as hard as he could, making him yelp in pain, yanking his hand away.

“You ANIMAL”

“Rawwr” Mario looked ready to fight again as he lunged at Puzzles.

They fought around for a while, until both felt tired enough to collapse. Kind of weird how they ended up beside each other. Looking up into the endless void was… somehow calming. Even for Mario. He almost forgot he was stuck in some of the worst situations he ever got into.

“Why did you steal my friends again, TV man?” Mario asked, turning to Puzzles. He seemed to be genuinely curious.

It took Puzzles by surprise.

“Oh? Well… I wanted to make my studio even larger so I can have the biggest and best studio in existence”

“What’s the point of that?”

“Wha… What? Are you kidding? Being accomplished like that? It’s the best thing anyone could have happen in their lives!”

Mario stared at him and slapped him.

Puzzles once again angry, he got up, trying to tackle him. This man annoyed him so goddamn much. Mario evaded him and tried to fight back but he was failing at hurting Puzzles as well. It was almost like they were syncing up in the worst possible way. Missing and dodging in harmony.

“Are you happy?” the question sounded from Mario’s mouth, echoing in Puzzles’s mind.

“What?”

“Are you happy?”

“Why are you asking me shit like this? I thought you were a bumbling idiot”

“Not right now. Are you happy, Mr Puzzles?”

“Oh… Oh! I get it now!” Puzzles got up and turned away from Mario “Your personality is inconsistent! That’s why my powers weren’t working on you! All along, your odd character PROTECTED YOU”

Puzzles whipped around, the anger was kind of familiar for Mario at this point. Another fight, another feeling of exhaustion kicking in. Even the fight felt familiar. Maybe it was just the weird atmosphere of this dark void but he felt sort of less worried now.

Once again, they ended up lying beside each other. 

“You didn’t answer my question” Mario sounded calm.

“And I…. won’t ever”

Mario sighed. They both stayed silent for a while.

Mario wasn’t the one to usually think but he did find the behaviour weird.

“You gave up on killing me pretty fast I’ll say” Mario joked. Puzzles looked at him unamused, no verbal reaction.

After resting enough, Puzzles sat up. He kind of felt hopeless in this silence. 

“You know what, Mario?” he looked to him “I’m not happy”

“Thought so” Mario sat up. 

“Do you… want to know why?” 

“I’m bored anyways”

“Well, you’ve… seen my movie… you know…”

“I know?”

“There’s something inside me that shouldn’t be” he raised his hand to his neck, gently brushing his fingers just above his collarbones. 

Mario only now seemed to catch on. It took him this long to realise that whatever crashed into Puzzles’s living place that night was actually inside him.

“Heh, there’s lot of things inside me as well that shouldn’t be”

“…What?”

“Dumpster”

Puzzles looked at him horrified then chuckled.

“You’re truly a unique kind of a man, Mario”

“I knooow… very sexy and awesome” 

Puzzles rolled his eyes at Mario’s grand modesty. He was starting to find it weird how he was actually starting to have peace with having to be stuck with Mario. Hell, it was a little worrying. 

He never felt this way… Like, enjoying someone’s company? He only ever loved working on his beautiful creations, people were like filler to his life. What changed? Or is Mario really… this special? He didn’t know and never did being unsure in his life make him so conflicted. He always liked to make sure he knew everything, he thought he went into  his plan knowing everything at this point. His plan was flawless. And yet Mario could walk in and ruin it all. And take away the perfection he wanted so much but… In the end, Mario would be right. He doubted it would make him happy. In a weird and twisted way, he felt alright with everything being ruined.

“So… how long are we gonna be stuck here, TV dude?” Mario asked, though seemingly not worried.

“I’m… not sure myself”

“Oh… OH?? Are we stuck here forever?? What have you done?” Mario screamed, jumping up, grabbing Puzzles by the straps of his pants. 

Something hit differently about Mario’s grasp on him as he felt a sharp pain like that fateful day. He screamed as he pushed Mario away.

Mario was confused then saw the state he put him in. Although he tortured his friends, it was still hard to not feel bad for him.

“TV guy…?”

He was in so much pain he couldn’t speak. He slowly laid down, very carefully to not hurt himself even more. Mario sat beside him. His curiosity… He slowly reached out and touched that same place.

Puzzles winced in pain. He didn’t get why. 

He pressed his hand against Puzzles’s collarbone fully.

While Puzzles was in utterly diabolical pain, Mario got reminded of something. This energy he felt. He saw this before. Images flashed in his brain, remembering everything from the time they went out there… Outside of their universe. The anti meme energy. He thought he wouldn’t need to face this traumatic memory again but… Guess he was wrong. Things now started to make sense to him. Although he didn’t know how it was possible. He didn’t need to know that to see that it was. 

He didn’t know what was driving his body but he pressed harder. With both of his hands now. Puzzles screaming didn’t deter him. When he tried to push him away, he sat on his arms, making him ultimately vulnerable to Mario. He didn’t know how to feel. He pushed and pushed until he could reach inside. It was nothing like he thought it would be. Puzzles was warm like a person but not quite of the same consistency. Until he felt something hard within him that didn’t quite fit inside. The memories he had now felt even more real. It sure made him struggle. Even he stopped for a second, especially how it added onto it. Making it more terrifying than it already was. Giving him images of a world where he lost 3 and 4 to a force way beyond him. That was scary to him.

He shook his head. He knew what he had to do. He pulled again. Pulled until what was inside Puzzles seemed to loosen from its place. Puzzles fainted by this point, probably from the unbearable pain. Even though he wasn’t quite human anymore, pain was still a weakness of his.

He finally pulled it out, black blood escaping Puzzles body as he did. Mario felt a little weird now… Did he just kill a man? He wasn’t sure.

He was now alone in the void, with the wretched fragment in his hand, echoing past nightmares in his ears.

His act settled in even more now as he pressed his hands against the wound, not really knowing what to do. It only soaked his hands even more. He desperately grasped into him, just trying to think of something, anything. He didn’t want to be left alone. He wasn’t sure how he felt about Puzzles but it’s much worse without him. That was something he knew for sure. He couldn’t lose him now, no matter what.

As he desperately grasped, light appeared, in the form of dim white strings, seemingly loosely closing up the wound. It wasn’t perfect but the bleeding was getting less intense. Mario didn’t know he could do that. He stared for a bit, not really knowing where to put it.

He sighed, not thinking about it further. He just didn’t want to up his kill count… And he didn’t want to be lonely himself either. He could always get so caught up being around people all the time that he forgot how it feels to be alone. And it wasn’t a good feeling. Though the bleeding stopping made him feel a bit better as he lied down, closing his eyes.

It felt like forever passed as he kind of just fell asleep beside Puzzles. Just because he had the weirdest moment of his life didn’t mean he couldn’t go to sleep with ease. He woke up to movement beside Puzzles as he was lightly clinging to him in his sleep.

“Huh… I’m… not dead yet?” Puzzles spoke, his voice was weak. He looked at Mario. He was finding a fondness he didn’t know he could have for someone.

“Nhggh… Nope… Mario fixed you up with his… white thing”

“Wh… White thing?” Puzzles was confused.

Mario pointed to his wound. The strings were still visible.

“Oh you… you saved me?”

Mario shrugged.

“Mario didn’t know he could do that”

Puzzles chuckled.

“Very well. Thank you though. I owe you”

Mario smiled at him.

“Well, getting us out of here would be great”

“Mhmm… I don’t know how to still” Puzzles frowned.

Mario patted him on the back.

“At least this thing is out of your body” he showed him the fragment.

“Oh- Oh right” he stared at it “What… is this again?”

“Mario’s not the best at explaining things. It is evil though”

“I do agree… it did kinda kill me there for a second” he chuckled

Mario chuckled too.

“You know, Mario… Isn’t this… weird?”

“What is?”

“I don’t feel like getting rid of you anymore”

“Well if you got rid of Mario the world would end so I’m glad” he grinned as if he didn’t just drop information on Puzzles that kinda escaped him before.

“The world would end?”

“You see, Mario is the avatar and if he gets killed for good, the world falls apart”

“A… Avatar?”

“I’ll ask SMG1 and 2 to drop the lore on you” 

“Oookay” Puzzles was a bit confused but he could wait. He would wait all the time needed to have answers if he needed to. It wasn’t the first time waiting rewarded him. He knew patience made greatness.

“By the way…. Mario’s wondering how you’re feeling now?” he looked at him, feeling a bit bad.

“I feel… free in a way. Mind’s less foggy and all that. Thanks, Mario”

“Hehe, I saved the day!”

“I’m still in pain though” he looked away.

“Damn…”

He grabbed Mario’s hand gently.

“It’s probably just the fact that you opened my body without any anesthetics. Which you wouldn’t have been able to get anyways”

“Heh… Mario sees your point” Mario squeezed his hand then thought, as if the brain cells in his empty head decided to align so well this time, he could have a genius idea “I’ve got an idea, Mr TV, but you have to listen to my instructions”

It had been a bit since last night 1, 2, 3, 4 and Saiko talked. Everyone was awake, preparing for their mission. Although 3 and 4 were a bit sore from the couch. It really wasn’t made for sleeping. 

“So…what’s the plan?” 2 asked.

“Well uh…” 4 thought for a bit.

3 took a bomb out of his pocket.

“Can I?” he asked with a silly little smile.

“No” 4 said bluntly. He didn’t give a shit.

3 sulked a bit.

“Well, we know it has to do with the Godbox so… we have to go in, prepared to fight it”

“I guess the best we can do is go in and hope?” 4 sounded unsure of himself.

“Get yourself together, 4. I know you can be a coward but now is not the time” Saiko commented, making everyone look “Now is not the time to question your power to stop this, our friends are on the line here… Melony” the last part from her was rather quiet. She always tried to look out for her when she could so knowing this happened right under her nose filled her with a different kind of fury.

“I say we go in and kick ass” she finished her statement.

“Kicking TV ass does sound good” 3 added with a sly smirk on his face.

“Let’s get going then, shall we?” 1 said as he then led everyone out

It was quite the trip. Almost felt like a little road trip. 3 and 4 fell asleep along it, considering they didn’t exactly get the best sleep then.

Saiko was beside them, kind of trying to ignore them. She might have been a bit jealous. She wasn’t able to see any of the girls for a while now. Kind of hard to live like her, standoffish yet lover of touch.

She slowly got used to it. 

“Oh, they fell asleep?” 2 looked back, while 1 was driving.

“Yeah… I guess they didn’t sleep well last night?”

“Probably the couch being uncomfortable to sleep on” 2 rubbed his chin, as if he was thinking strongly about it.

“If it was anything else I’m kicking their asses, I’ll tell you that” 1 added on quietly. 2 giggled while Saiko facepalmed.

They got there, to the wretched studio, which was covered in black goop. Not fully but there was definitely a place where there was a lot more.

[fangirlings-things]

— Lost Without You I

anon said: hey! could you please write a song fic with anthony bridgerton, I don't have any specific song in mind, but just some angst would be perfect because you write it soooo beautifully :') hope this is ok, kissess

A/N: hey, love!! I faced this as somewhat as a challenge and it was quite amazing to write!! thank you sooo much for your words, I sincerely hope you like this 💖

*this is supposed to have two parts, so if you guys like it and want the rest, please let me know your thoughts 🥰 lots of love

TAG LIST: @for-bebbanburg ; @venusflwer ; @avrilstaro || GIF CREDIT: @fifty5hades

This is based in Freya Ridings song, Lost Without you

Fandom: Bridgerton

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x female reader

Word count: 6.3K

Summary: One would need to be Lady Whistledown to know about the ever existent bond between the eldest Bridgerton son, Anthony, and Lady (Y/N) Kerrington. They made a good work at hiding their intentions even from their own families. According to their plan, when the Miss came to age, they would marry each other quite fastly, since they had been courting one another through the entirety of their lives. (Y/N) Kerrington thought so too, but the Viscount's actions and decisions, changed it all.

[ I ]

“Have you two gone completely mad?”

Turning around, within the heavy rain and through the drops of water that kept falling from the sky and soaked your whole body, seeming to permanently attach your dress to your skin, you saw Anthony Bridgerton standing at the back door of his own house, protected by the rain.

He had his forehead frowned in confusion as he stared at you and his sister, Daphne, whom stood by your side at the Bridgerton’s garden. His hair was a bit of a mess, like he had been sleeping recently and his hands were on his waist. His eyes, deep brown eyes that made him look a lot older than he really was by the intensity they carried, were fixed upon you.

“Join us, brother!” Daphne invited, laughing as she turned her face upwards and enjoyed the feel of the rain directly on her features. Her arms were open alongside her body, as she embraced the rain. That was something you both liked doing together, ever since your early childhood days.

“No, I will not sister and you two really should get out of there before you fall ill!” her older brother replied and the tangible worry in his voice made you smile more largely than you did before.

“It could be fun, Anthony!” you said to him and with a spark of joy, did not fail to notice how he squeezed his lips on a thin line for a moment at hearing you call him by his first name. Such thing could be seen as a lack of manners that being if, you had not known each other through the entirety of your lives, which allowed you to comfortable around every single member of the Bridgerton family.

Your family, the Kerrington’s, had been the Bridgerton’s neighbor even before you had been born. Both families, that had a similar amount of money and same high position in society, had always been closely bond to one another. You had grown up with Daphne as your best friend, frequenting her house or she yours almost every single day. Her siblings had always been nice to you and you loved them all as if they were your own siblings.

But not Anthony.

Oh no, Anthony was a completely different thing.

There was nothing brotherly in the way you thought of him and such thoughts were only intensified by some situations you found yourself in like this very one, where he seemed to be genuinely considering your words after having just denied his sister’s. Little actions that instigated your fantasies.

“If I do, only for a moment, will you come back to the house with me afterwards?” he questioned, ever so serious, looking from you to his sister and then back at you.

You looked at Daphne who had turned her head back down and as soon as she smiled mischievously at you and raised her eyebrows, you turned back to Anthony. “We swear!”

Anthony nodded his head in agreement and then sighted heavily. His eyes went to the dark sky for a few moments, the entirety of it made of grey clouds filled with drops of water that had not yet fallen. You watched with the most absolute attention as he mumbled something to himself under his breath before finally stepping away from the house’s protection and starting to make his way towards you both.

When he reached you and Daphne, his hair was already soaked with water and was attached to his forehead. Drops of water ran down his handsome face. His white shirt was now as good as nothing, the details of his arms and chest now exposed to your wanting eyes. “Is it enough?”

“You did not have fun yet” Daphne argued immediately and with the same smile as before on her lips, kicked a puddle of water, splashing quite some in his already wet pants. The angry expression on his face made her laugh loudly her unique laugh.

You laughed also, and then found his gaze landing on yours once more. “Are you on her side, (Y/N)?” a drop of water right in that moment ran down his nose and fell in the grass. He stood close, closely than you had noticed before. Just two steps, and you could have touched his chest.

As you lost yourself in such a tempting and inappropriate thought, Lady Bridgerton appeared on the back door, in the exact same spot Anthony had been before, her mouth hanging open in shock for moment as she saw what has occurring on her own garden. “What is happening? Anthony Bridgerton! You allowed your sister and Miss (Y/N) to such recklessness?” Anthony did not even turn around at hearing his mother’s angry voice, just sighted once again and looked at Daphne when she laughed hard like before. “Come inside right now, the three of you, before you fall ill!”

“My exact same words” Anthony said, eyes on the grass, as you three obediently walked back to the inside of the Bridgerton’s house.

“Sorry to get you in trouble, brother” Daphne said, but both her tone and expression made it clear that she had not even a bit of regret. When reaching the back door, she was the first one to rush inside and disappear in the corridors after getting a blanket from her mother, leaving a trail of water behind her.  

“I apologize, Anthony” you said, smile having completely faded away now. Eyes on the floor because you refused to look him in the eye. You took no pleasure in causing him any kind of trouble, especially with his mother, whom now had stepped away to get another two blankets.  

Anthony did realize your afflictions, because he instantly replied. “All is well, (Y/N), do not worry” the softness of his tone made you raise your eyes. You were surprised to find him smiling at you. “By the end of the night, my mother will have forgiven me already”

You smiled because of the confidence on his voice. “I am glad”

You both went silent then, the heavy rain outside continuing to fall and the distant thunders seeming to be as loud as ever. With your eyes locked in one another’s, none of you said a thing. It was a peaceful moment, an intimate one. Shared by just the two of you.

“Oh, my dear, you must be freezing!” Lady Violet Bridgerton came back with two other blankets and carefully placed one around your shoulders, wrapping you in it and without even knowing, ruining one of the best moments you could think of. “What will your mother think of my hospitality if she finds out what has happened in my own garden! Come, Daphne will borrow you a dress for the evening” as she made you walk away after having given the other blanket to Anthony, you could feel his gaze burning your back.

Oh, how you wished to turn back around and stare into his eyes in peaceful silence once more.

[ II ]

“Are you nervous about the next season?” Daphne asked as she looked at you from the couch she sat in, in one of the many rooms in the Bridgerton’s house.

Having taken your place in the very couch that faced hers, you sighted. “Of course” you looked down at your hands, that were joined in your lap. “We are to be wed in the next season already. How could I not be” a pure nervous laugh escaped your mouth as you admitted so. In hopes that no one would see, by the corner of your eye, you looked over at Anthony, who was sitting at a small table, reading a book. He was always your dream when you thought of marriage.

“You should not worry too much, (Y/N)” Benedict, who had been playing with Gregory for the past twenty minutes, came to sit by your side in a relaxed position. “You will have many suitors, I am sure. Daphne, though­…” the unfinished sentence had the desired effect, because Daphne opened her mouth with an offended expression and you laughed with Benedict. In your own mind, you thanked him for being so good and helping to ease some of your tension.

“While (Y/N) marries a gentleman, Daphne will find herself being courted by an old man with no hair left in his head” Colin joined the fun and Daphne’s only response was to roll her eyes and cross her arms over her chest. Benedict though, once again laughed loudly.

“Benedict and Colin Bridgerton, stop making fun of your sister!” Lady Bridgerton said from her spot at the other side of the room as she walked towards your small group. Her expression though betrayed her tone, because she had a small pleased smile on her lips. “I am sure both of them will find a very good match and will be happily wed by the end of the next season, with gentlemens of the highest esteem”

"I hope so, mama" Daphne said truly, smiling at her mother. In the same moment, the sound of a chair being dragged against the floor caught everyone's attention and you all looked in that direction in time to see Anthony storming out the room. You frowned as you wondered what had happened, concern filling your being before you could even control your own emotions.

Not wanting to cause a fush about it, since all the others had apparently ignored his departure as something ordinary, you waited a few minutes in which you pretended to hear the words spoken by Benedict and his mother before you excused yourself and once out in the corridors, started to look for Anthony.

You found him on the library, his face was turned away from you but you could quite well imagine his mood by whatever it was that afflicted him, for the way he moved, tense and yet fast. That was not like Anthony Bridgerton at all.

"Anthony?" you called while entering the room, unsure if you should even disturb him in such time. He had gone away with the clear intention of being alone but still... you could not help it. You had to know he was well.

The sound of your voice made him turn around in the exact same instant and he went to you with a serious expression on his features, so serious it only served to increase your concern. "Anthony, what is—" before you could even finish, he walked past you and for a second you thought he was going to leave but then, he surprised you by closing the door and shuting you both inside. Alone. His expression did not change at all. You stared at him like was crazy. "Anthony, what are you doing? If your mother finds out we are in here alone she will never allow me into your house again!"

And you could not even bare that thought. Yes, Lady Violet was a nice woman, she had never objected you and Daphne at playing with the boys when you were children and as you grown up, she found it pleasing that all of you enjoyed each other's company so much but still, now that you were practically of age to marry, to be without a chaperone in a closed room with a man who was not from your family, it was a scandal. Even if that man was the one you loved with all your heart and had known since forever.

"(Y/N)" he said, taking a deep breath and walking towards you, ignoring your previous words like they meant nothing. He clearly did not see the danger. He stopped a mere step away, looking into your eyes with such meaning you suddenly found it difficult to breathe. His eyes, were as troubled as a storm day. It confused you. "I—" he stopped, took anothet deep breath, looked at his feet. Then he raised his eyes to yours again with renewed determination. "I want to—" again, he seemed to lack the words to finish his thought and clearly frustrated, looked away once more, this time at a point above your head.

All of his actions and words made no sense at all to you and frankly, you started to wonder if he was not drunk, even though you had not seen him drinking. "Anthony, you are concerning me" you said simply, and that statement made in a low, careful tone seemed to be enough to make him snap out of whatever it was that was holding him back.

"I want you to make me a promise, (Y/N)" you opened your mouth to ask him what he meant by that but he was quicker and shockingly taking your hands in his as he kept staring into your eyes, answered to your unspoken question. "I want you to promise me that if I propose to you, you will at least perhaps consider marrying me"

All air left your lungs. Surely, you had heard it wrong. There was no way Anthony Bridgerton, your ever being passion, had just expressed his intentions of proposing to you in the future. That could not be true. Dreams are not realized just like that.

"A-Anthony..." you began, heart pounding in your chest like never before.

The Bridgerton mistook your surprise by hesitation and immediately let go of your hands and stepped back, creating some distance between you both. "I apologize for being so forward. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable"

"Uncomfortable? Anthony, I do not believe I have ever been happier!" as it was his turn to frown in confusion, you were the one who approached him and smiled brightly while looking into his eyes. "I promise, of course! I want to marry you, Anthony. I really do" you looked down and slowly, joined your hands together like he had done before. "Deep down, I believed you had already noticed my affection towards you"

"It crossed my mind once or twice, but I thought it was just my mind fooling me. I dared not to believe you felt the same way I did" he chuckled, happily. You thought you had never seen him with a smile as big as that one on his face. "Hearing my brothers and mother talking about you marrying someone else in there, I could not stand it" he admitted, and a glimpse of shame seemed to cross his features for a moment. "In the next season, when you will be presented in society, I will propose to you. And if you desire to, we will get married"

Trying to control your own happiness, that was immesurable because everything seemed to be perfect, you nodded your head in agreement. "We will get married"

[ III ]

The months were passing too fast. Already, you had only a few months before the season in which you would be presented in society and it would be expected of you to be well married soon.

I will marry Anthony, you thought to yourself with a smile on your face as you enjoyed the peace and quiet of your bedroom for a while. Staring at the ceiling above your head, you had no doubt that everything would work out just fine.

If he was a man of no fortune, your father and mother (your mother especially) would for certain object to your union. But he was Bridgerton, their status and wealth were as high as your own if not bigger and so, there would absolutely be no arguing. You dared to say, she would even be thrilled by the fact that you were going to marry the one day to be Viscount.

Nothing could go wrong, you thought to yourself while smiling still. He loved you. Just as you loved him. With the same intensity and amount of desire, you had seen it in his eyes when he had spoken his mind in the Bridgerton library. You would be happy together, really happy.

Knocks on the door got your attention. "Sister, mind if I come in?"

Immediately in surprise, you sat up and laughing softly because of the joy that hearing his voice brought you, spoke. "Do come in!"

The door was opened then, and you watched as your brother slipped inside of your room, smiling down at you with a warm smile. Without saying a word he opened his arms and you without a moment of hesitation, threw yourself in his arms and hugged him tightly. "I have missed you too, dear" he said with a laugh escaping his mouth.

Only after several moments you stepped back, to be able to really look at him. Thomas Kerrington, your older brother, was smiling as he looked at you. He wore his uniform, and he looked beautiful in it. The pride of the family, the youngest soldier ever made Coronel because of his courage and whom  recieved the command of complete troops of soldiers only weeks later. Since he had joined the Royal Army, you barely saw him twice a year. He was too valuable to be away from action often and you understood that but still, you missed your brother.

"How long will you be staying?" you asked while pulling him towards your bed by the hand, and making him sit down with you.

"Just a couple of days" he answered, smile fading a bit just as you did. Thomas still squeezed your hand in his. "My regiment is being moved and as we are going to be facing hard months soon, I thought it would be nice to see my family" he watched your eyes for a few moments and then, opened a bright smile again and put the sadness aside, like it was typical of Thomas. He always knew how to bring happiness into a room. "Are you excited for the next season?" the young Coronel was not married himself. Having since very soon been involved in the Army's business and interests, court a wife had not been a priority to him and still was not.

"I am, actually" you admitted, looking down at your joined hands as all your thoughts about Anthony and the prospect of marrying him came rushing back into your mind. You and Thomas had always been close, really close. He was a incredible brother who loved his little sister very much and was always there for her. The thought of confiding in someone seemed nice, and whom could be better to do that with than your brother? "I already know who I want to marry, brother"

"Is that so?" raising your eyes to meet his, you saw that he was still smiling. "And is he a good man?" you nodded your head, and Thomas inspected your eyes with his. "Are you sure he will make you happy, sister?"

"I have no doubt" you replied, confident.

Thomas chuckled by your certainty. "Very well then, I guess I have no reason to object to such union" he passed one of his arms around your shoulders and brought you close to him, so you would lay your head on his shoulder. It was so good, to have him there in that moment. "Will you tell me his name, perhaps?"

You thought about it for a moment. He was your brother, you were sure he would not tell anyone. And even though he and Anthony had never been very close friends, they always got along well. But you should not, not when you and Anthony had come into an agreement of keeping it a secret. At least for now. "Come back during the season and, perhaps, you will get here in time to our wedding" you said and the sound of Thomas laugh filled the bedroom.

"Does it have a date already?" accompanying him in laughter, you appreciated your brother's presence. Very much.

[ IV ]

"It does sound like an interest book" you told Eloise with honesty, after having just read some pages of the book she had been reading herself and after some discussion about the quality of it with Daphne, asked you to give an opinion on it.

"Thank you, (Y/N)" Eloise smiled brightly at you and then extended the smile towards Daphne, who sitting on the couch across from you two, rolled her eyes because you had taken her sister's side. "At least you know how to appreciate a good book"

"Perhaps you should consider respecting my opinion, Eloise" Daphne told her younger sibling, with a bit of annoyance in her voice. Those two were always bickering with each other and you, as the oldest best friend, was always around to witness it.

"I do respect your opinion, sister, I simply think that it is not a wise one" you gave the book back to the younger Bridgerton while she said so.

Daphne seemed to be ready to give her a proper reply when Anthony entered the room. His eyes met yours and he smiled tenderly at you for a moment before looking at his sisters. "Have you both seen mother and father?"

"They went to accompany the Kerrington's to the market" Daphne said, referring to your parents, and you nodded in agreement.

"Oh, well" he placed his hands on his waist and sighted. "I shall wait for them to return, then"

"Continuing to plan your travel, brother?" Eloise asked, opening the book back to the page in which she had stopped reading.

"Travel?" you could not stop yourself before echoing the word, surprise quickly taking a hold of you. Your eyes went to Anthony instantly and by the expression on his face, you saw that he was not pleased with Eloise for having said so much.

"Anthony has decided he is going to travel for a while, explore the world alone and live some adventures perhaps" Daphne said, also turning around to look at her brother. "Colin will not stop talking about how much he wants to do the same one day"

"Oh, I see" it took all you had to maintain a natural, comfortable expression on your face. He was going to travel. Just a few months before the season in which you should be married. How long would he stay away? When would he return? Would he ever? All of those thoughts filled your mind and made your heartbeat get faster and faster. You dared not to say anything. No one knew about your intentions to marry one another, and you had agreed to keep it in that way.

Anthony, knowing you so well, clearly saw through your contained emotion. "I just remembered, (Y/N)! Benedict is asking for your opinion in one of his latest sketches, will you accompany me?" it was a lie. You could see that it was, even though his sisters did not see through the fake smile on his face.

Forcing a smile and nodding in agreement briefly, you got up, telling Daphne you would be right back, to which she agreed. After that, you followed Anthony out of the room and to one of the corridors close to the kitchen, where there was no one else by that time. Anthony stopped there, turned around to look at you and sighted heavily because of your sad expression. "I did not mean for you to find out like that"

You raised your eyes to meet his at that, in pure disbelief. "And how was I supposed to find out? Through Daphne, when you had already left?"

"I was going to tell you tomorrow, at dinner" he said in a rush, looking around after a moment to make sure there was absolutely no one there. He took the time to make sure his voice was low as he spoke. "Nothing has changed, (Y/N). I will marry you. This travel, it will take two months, maybe a bit more but nothing great. The season is in three months. I will be back in time, I promise"

You stared into his eyes deeply, worry filling your expression still. Under your inspection, he seemed so genuine and decided. It felt like he had everything planned, had thought everything through. "Are you sure this is what you want?" you asked then, not thinking of yourself, but of him. Travels made alone could be dangerous. And if something happened to him... you did not even wanted to consider that idea.

"I am, (Y/N)" he stepped even closer to you and held your hands, like he had a habit of to. You did like the familiarity of that simple touch. "I want to marry you, but first, I would like to see the world. Later, I shall be all yours"

The honesty in his voice made you smile, emotion was so strong your eyes went blurry with tears. "Then you must go. Do as you desire and when you get back, I will be eager to know all about what you have seen"

Anthony smiled. Letting go of one of your hands and bringing it to cup your face, he sighted. "You are the goodest person I have ever known"

You smiled, leaning into his touch.

Before, you had been nervous by the arrival of the social season. Now, all you wanted was for it to come quickly. As quickly as possible.

[ V ]

"If I may say, you look astonishing tonight, Lady Kerrington" Lord Edwards said, with a polite smile on his lips after having just given you a glass of a drink he had gotten from the Queen's table.

The ball had begun sometime around an hour before. The ball thrown by the Queen herlself that declared opened the social season. You were now, officially able to be courted and expected to be married by the end of it, if you had success. You had gone with your mother and father and as they had stepped away to talk to some friends, you had been left alone in the room and seeing the opportunity, Lord Edwards had approached you.

He was a gentleman, Lord Edwards. He was young, handsome, quite wealthy and his manners were flattering. By a young Lady's, like yourself, point of view, he should be the perfect husband. But not for you.

Because he was not Anthony.

Just to think of his name, it brought back the pain of missing him. Since the day in which he left for his travel, you had not seen him again. Of course, his journey had been cut short because his father, the Viscount Bridgerton, had died tragically all of the sudden, at a young age. It made Anthony have to make the arrangements to return sooner than expected.

And he did. A month and a half after he had parted, he was forced to return because he was now, the Viscount. As the eldest son, he had the responsibility of being there for his family, especially in such a tragic time.

Until this very day, you had not seen him since his return. As Daphne's best friend, you were still always in the Bridgerton residence, after her father's death even more, because you provided the young Lady the comfort she needed. There, you only caught glimpes of him once or twice, a rushed greeting that ended up with him leaving the room seconds later.

You did not blame him for it, of course not. His life had changed so much and so suddenly that it would be a challenge for everyone in his position. He should concentrate in the matters of importance for his family, it was needed. You would not bother him with affairs that were not urgent at the time. No, everything was set, also. He would propose sometime after doing some courting in the season, and you two would get happily married. And that would be it.

Looking around the ballroom, everytime the doors were opened you would look, expecting to see Daphne arrive. It would be nice to have a friend in the same situation you were in. As Lord Edwards went on in a conversation about his great interest in social events, you looked down at your dress. It was a beautiful blue dress, made with soft fabric. The little details here and there made it even more beautiful. Part of your hair had been pulled up and placed there delicately while leaving the rest of strands released freely, in a hair style that you did not fail to notice, got quite some attention from some of the other young Ladys.

Lord Edwards had just began his affirmation of how much he enjoyed the city rather than the country, when the doors were again opened and this time when you looked, your expectations were indeed achieved.

Daphne had just arrived. She looked absolutely gorgeous, making you smile instantly. At her right side stood her mother, Lady Bridgerton, ever an elegant woman and at her left side, stood Anthony.

Oh, the way your pulse accelerated at the sight of him. He was absolutely handsome, wearing the most formal clothes he had. His dark hair was as always that elegant mess you never got enough of. His eyes were inspecting the room, you smiled thinking that perhaps, he could be looking for you.

"Will you excuse me, Lord Edwards?"  you said suddenly to the Lord, interrupting him in the middle of a sentence and he, a bit sad and yet completely polite, just nodded his head and bid you farewell.

You found yourself walking towards the small Bridgerton group, feet seeming to carry you there on their own even though you did know it would be reasonable to wait. But no, you could not help it.

"(Y/N) you look absolutely gorgeous!" Daphne exclaimed when she saw you, smiling as you stopped right in front of her. "Look, Mama, how beautiful she is!" you felt your cheeks get a bit red under your friend's compliments and the fact that you knew, that Anthony was hearing them and beside her, inspected you with his eyes also.

"My Lady Kerrington, how your mother must be proud of having such a lovely daughter!" Lady Bridgerton said, and that filled you with joy.

"I am sure you should be the one who is proud, Lady Bridgerton, because I have no doubt in my mind that Daphne will be the diamond of the season" your friend smiled as she made sense to your words and then, as you fell silent for a moment, you turned to her left to look at Anthony, whom had stayed silent until them. As your eyes met, it was as if sparks were flying all around you. "Viscount Bridgerton"

"Lady Kerrington" he replied. The kind of smile you expected to see in his features was not there.  His eyes did not stare at you for a long while before he looked away. That was unsual. Before you could make up some conversation, a Lord came closer and asked Daphne for a dance. You watched with a smile as he stepped away with the man and then, as Lady Bridgerton came into a conversation with Lady Danbury, Anthony surprised you by stepping closer to you. "Lady Kerrington, mind if we have a word?" 

"Of—" you did not even finished before he had already began to walk away from the doors, where the greatest amount of people were gathered around. Frowning, you rushed as graciously as you could after him, stopping only to leave your glass, that had been given to you by Lord Edwards, on a table.

Anthony only stopped walking when you were both close to one of the walls of the room, just enough away from others so no one could hear what you spoke about or if they did, would not pay much attention to it. Facing each other, after so long, it felt amazingly good. "It is nice to see you, (Y/N)" his voice was low, so no one would hear him call you by your first name.

You smiled, eyes meeting in a way that made your heart beat even faster, which you did not think was quite possible. "It is nice to see you too, Anthony" your voice was as low as he was. "I have missed—"

"I have to tell you something, (Y/N)" he cut you off shortly, eyes not on yours them. There was something in Anthony that did not seem like him at all. His jaw was clenched, his body was all uptight. He seemed more distant to you now than he had ever been in his travel on the other side of the world.

"Very well" you took a moment to be able to get those words out, because all of your happiness had already began to slip away. Surely, there were bad news coming ahead. The way he looked... or even better, did not look at you, that could not mean nothing good. "What is it?"

Anthony did not speak quite instantly. He looked around the room for a while, then took a deep breath. "I can not marry you, (Y/N)"

That felt like a punch. Right to your stomach, making you sick and your head spin like you had suddenly been privated from air itself. And even though you had to fight back the tears of confusion that dared to fall from your eyes, Anthony did not seem to share your emotion at all. He looked stern, decided.

"W-what happened?" you asked, voice trembling and honestly one string away from failing completely. He did not say anything. You were the one to take a deep breath then. "Anthony, look me in the eye" and only then he did. He looked right at you and you felt your heart break in a million pieces. "I understand if because of your father and your new title, you do not find marriage the most important thing right now. I really understand. You must have enough duties and responsibilities at the moment. But there is no problem. I will wait for you, Anthony. I will—"

"I do not want you to wait for me, (Y/N)" Anthony's tone was decisive. "It has nothing to do with my father or my responsibilities"

Your confusion only grew more and more and what you thought would be an amazing evening, was quickly revealing itself to be an awful one. "Then what—"

"I have someone else" he said and before you could even take in that information, he went on with his narrative. "I met her after I came back from my travel, in the occasion of my father's death. I have been with her ever since. I was with her before I came here today. I have been avoiding you all this time, because I did not have the courage to tell you about this. But I figured that this could no longer be postponed"

Your vision was so blurry you could not even see his face clearly. He had someone else. He did not want to marry you. "You said you loved me" were the words you spoke. You hoped no one was looking at you two because if they were, you had no doubt about how crushed you looked.

That simple phrase seemed to finally get a reaction from Anthony. He looked away from you for another moment, took another deep breath. And then, looked back into your eyes. "I am sorry, (Y/N). But she is the one that I truly love" and even though he showed a small reaction then, it was not even close to the amount required to such matter. He was dealing with you as if  you were a simple affair that had to be taken care of. He had indeed become the Viscount, after all.

You swallowed the knot in your throat, spent countless silent moments trying to fight back the tears. And you stared into Anthony's eyes, and made him see just how much you loved him. Just how much he had hurt you. "I wish you happiness, Viscount Bridgerton"

You saw that Anthony swallowed dry. "(Y/N)..."

But you did not stay to hear what he had to say. You turned around and without being able to contain yourself made a run to the door, attracting everyone's attention to you. Tears fell from your eyes and you were so desoriented that you ran right into someone's chest. Cleaning the tears away with your hands, you met Lord Edwards eyes. "Lady Kerrington, are you well?" Without answering him, you continued to run to the door and only stopped when you felt the cold air of the night on your skin.

You cried, hurt by a man who had just made clear he did not want to marry you. He did not want you at all. You wanted to leave. You wanted to lock yourself in your bedroom and not get out anytime soon. Maybe never.

But most of all, what you really wanted but could not have, was your older brother. The comfort only he could give you in that moment.

[ VI ]

Dear readers,

From this author's perspective, after last night's ball, this social season looks quite promising. Young Ladies were presented into society in search of husbands, mothers have inspected their suitors and the Queen watched it all from her throne, seeming entertained. The night was filled with courting and dances, really a magical night for all the debutantes'.

It came to this author's ears though, that the night was not so magical for everyone. It seems that the young Lady Kerrington and Viscount Bridgerton were seen sharing a very meaningful conversation before she left the event in tears. What did they say to each other, is the question that remains. More specifically, what could the Viscount have said that made the young Lady feel so heartbroken?

Let us be attentive to the upcoming events, dear readers. If I learn to know something interesting in the future, and I always do, you all will the be the ones I share the not so secret with.

This author was a feeling, that many more scandals are yet to come.

Lady Whistledown

[roseyserpents]

Back To You

Pairing: Scott Reed x reader

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, fighting, alcohol

Characters: Scott Reed, Sheri Holland, Montgomery De La Cruz, Bryce Walker, Zach Dempsey

Word count: 1,757

Summary: You and Scott take a break but you find yourself wanting him back

A/N: this is based off the song Back To You by Selena Gomez! This is also the first 13rw fic and fic on this account I'm posting!

Took you like a shot

Thought I could chase you with a cold evening

Let a couple years water down how I feel about you

It was bad. Sure, throughout your year and a half relationship you'd had fights with Scott, but none had been this bad or ended this messy. He'd gotten mad at you for tutoring Bryce and Zach when they'd asked for your help because you were in AP classes, and you'd countered with your anger about him being gone to much and ditching you in the recent month. They were small problems but that was all that took for the stress that'd been building up to boil over. This put to much strain on your relationship so you decided to take a break. The week following the breakup and still more after you'd spent at parties getting drunk to keep your mind off of your feelings even though you knew it wasn't good for you. You were mad. You were so mad at Scott for everything he'd done to you and for making you cry over him.

And every time we talk

Every single word builds up to this moment

And I gotta convince myself I don't want it

Even though I do 

"Y/n!" An all to familiar voice calls out from the other end of the hall. You quickly close your locker ignoring the fact you'd left your folder for your next class and try to get away from the situation you'd been avoiding. But, against your attempt to run, someones hand lands on your upper arm, gently turning you to face them as you let out a heavy sigh. Scott stands in front of you, your heart dropping to your feet as you catch his eyes for the first time in more than a month.

"Hey," He breathes with a faint small as if he'd forgotten what he was going to say. "I was wondering if you'd want to go to Monet's to, um, catch up sometime?"

You wanted to say yes. Your heart yearned for his touch again, to spend time with him and see the very smile he had plastered on his face now everyday. But your brain was telling you that he'd hurt you, so what's to stop him from doing it again if you went back to him?

"No." Your brain answers despite your heart trying to yell over it. Before you can think you walk away with a small strut in your step towards you next class leaving a hurt Scott behind as other students move around him like water around a stone.

We never got it right

Playing and replaying old conversations

Overthinking every word and I hate it

'Cause it's not me

You and Scott lie on the hood of his car next to the lake, watching the waves gently lapping up onto shore with milkshakes in your hands.

"Do you love me?" You ask suddenly, turning to look at the blonde. He suddenly coughs, choking on the milkshake in his mouth as he sits up and spits it into the grass. You sit up, supporting your weight with your hand as he turns back to you.

"What?" He asks after recovering, meeting your amused gaze.

"Do you love me?" You repeat, more nervousness in your words than the first time.

A smile spreads on Scott's face as he leans closer to you. "I," He says, pecking the end of your nose. "Love," He places a kiss to your cheek. "You." Finally his lips land on yours before he pulls away, still leaning over you with the goofy grin you'd grown to love-

"It's not my fault I wanted to be around someone after you keep skipping out on our dates!" You yell at Scott, a finger jabbing at his chest.

"You could've gone to Sheri or Chloe!" Scott counters, looming over you using his height as an advantage. "You didn't need to go to my friends!"

"Well your friends are a lot better at being around than you are!" Your face was turning red and your throat going scratchy from yelling so much. You were surprised nobody had come over asking if someone was being murdered.

"I'm your boyfriend! Not Bryce and Zach!"

"They'd probably make a better boyfriend than you are!" The second the words left your mouth you couldn't believe them, and apparently neither could Scott because his face falls and it's silent for a moment, both of you trying to process your next actions.

"Fine. If you'd rather be with one of them than me, go ahead." He says in a normal volume but hurt, anger, and venom laced deep in each syllable. "We need to take a break." He grabs his jacket off of your couch and walks towards your door, emotions radiating off of him as you follow him out of your house.

"Good!" You yell from your doorway as he walks towards his car. "I don't need you or your fucking relationship!" With that you slam the door shut before turning and sliding down it. The emotions spill over inside of you as tears streak your face and you curl up against the door, crying into your knees for the rest of the night.

"Y/n?" Sheri asks, pulling you out of your own head.

"Huh?" You reply, pulling your hand away from your face to face her.

"I said, are you okay? You look... Out of it." She asks, concern plastered on her face.

No. "Yeah I'm good, just didn't get a lot of sleep." You lie.

And what's the point in hiding?

Everybody knows we got unfinished business

And I'll regret it if I didn't say

This isn't what it could be

"Sure." She says, sitting down next to you. "Tell me what's up. Is this about Scott?"

You sigh, giving a nod before resting your chin on your desk.

"Practically the whole school knows about your break." She continues, putting air quotes around the word "break". You wanted to tell her how much you missed him, how much you wanted him back or to atleast heal things, but you don't.

"I'm just mad at him. I can't handle seeing him." You lie again. You don't know why you weren't confiding in Sheri for once. You knew this situation could be different, but part of your heart and part of your brain wouldn't let you so easily go back to Scott.

She gives you a look as if she could see right through your lie but walks away to her seat across the room leaving you back to your thoughts. How could you say that to him? How could you tell the person you loved and needed the most that you didn't need them? You hated that he had this effect on you now, turning you into a person you didn't know. He'd said it, you needed a break. He agreed it wasn't working.

You needed to find something to get him off your mind - or someone.

I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to

When I'm lying close to someone else

You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it

You'd gone to one of Bryce's parties the following night, gotten drunk out of your mind, and woken up around four A.M. in a bed with Montgomery De La Cruz passed out next to you.

A groan falls from your lips as you stand up, wrapping the sheet from the bed around yourself as you slowly wipe a hand across your face. You pull his hand off of your waist before sitting up, Montgomery stirring by you but not waking up.

You found yourself wanting it to be Scott lying next to you and not someone you hardly knew. You wanted to wake up in his arms again instead of with a hangover from trying to forget him. But, no matter what you did he was stuck in your head. He kept coming up again and again no matter how much you didn't want him too.

-

If I could do it all again

I know I'd go back to you

You'd made a decision that Sunday night. You knew you could turn everything around, you just needed the confidence to do so. It'd taken a lot of time for you to bring yourself to your decision, but you couldn't push down the need to go back to Scott anymore.

-

"Hey, Scott!" You yell out as soon as you set foot into school, finding him at his locker before he could run away.

He closes his locker before tightening his jaw and turning to you. "What." He says, more of a statement than a question.

What was there wasn't sure

But I'd go back to you

I know I'd go back to you

"I'm sorry. For everything." You sigh, looking to your feet. "We ended things badly. The last month before the fight was bad and nothing seemed sure about it. But, I miss you. I know I pushed you away before but I shouldn't have."

Scotts expression softens slightly as he looks at you with questioning eyes.

You can break my heart in two

But when it heals, it beats for you

I know it's forward, but it's true

"And I'm not gonna lie, what you said hurt me, it broke my heart. But when I got over it I found myself wanting to be around you again. I know that sounds stupid and bold or whatever, but it's the truth." You continue. "It's fine if you just wanna be friends or acquaintances, but I need you in my life again it's been so horr-"

"Y/n." Scott cuts you off. You look up and his scowl from before has been replaced by his smile that lights up the entire room. "I would love to get back together with you." As he talks he'd slowly stepped closer to you, his hands going to your waist. You grin as you snake your arms around his neck pulling you both closer to each other.

"I'm sorry for being such an idiot." You sigh, your hands laced in the hair at the nape of his neck.

"You might be an idiot, but you're my idiot." Scott says before leaning down, connecting his lips with yours. Electricity sparks as warmth spreads through you, all the negative thoughts from the last two months disappear and are replaced with one one simple thought:

You were back with Scott and that was all that mattered.