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#I fell right back into my eating disorder this autumn at an alarming speed to the point where everyone else around me has noticed
reptilequeen2000
·
9 months
Text
I’m so tired of the distance I’m so tired of the loneliness eating away at me
#I’m trying to be brave for us I swear
#but it hurts so much
#I was only able to do it before because I thought it would be the last time
#my heart can’t take it
#all I do now is wait and miss you
#I can’t take care of myself I can’t eat I can’t get out of bed
#I wonder if you’ll notice I’m still losing more weight
#you didn’t notice before why would you now
#I see you cringe slightly whenever you walk into my room and it’s a mess
#you never say anything and I get it
#but I wish you’d see me struggling and try to help instead of just not saying anything
#please just do SOMETHING
#I know you can’t just wait for people to notice and I should ask for for help when I need it
#but for fucks sake I lost 20 pounds in a month and you said NOTHING
#how do I get your attention
#how do I get you to notice anything
#I fell right back into my eating disorder this autumn at an alarming speed to the point where everyone else around me has noticed
#if they didn’t notice I wasn’t eating they noticed how different I look
#and you’re the only one who somehow didn’t notice until I told you they wanted to send me back to treatment if it continues to progress
#I’m not blaming you for it but fuck you’re my boyfriend you should be the first to notice
#you know I’m without a therapist right now too
#I I feel like I have to beg for you to think of me
#i know youre tired after work but I’m losing my mind over here
#I felt less lonely when I was single this isn’t fair
#things to talk to my therapist about
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