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#I genuinely couldnt tell and my mind just went 'yup'
thelesbiandeli · 6 months
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“Yeah, I really like Team Starkid,”
“Oh, me too! What’s your favourite show?”
“The one where Lauren Lopez has the fire.”
“Firebringer! Yeah, I love that one too-”
“No.”
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ellana-ravenwood · 6 years
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Salt, Tequila, Lemon - Jason Todd x Reader
Please read this intro, thank you very much :  
So. I posted this yesterday, but after a bug on the Tumblr app on my phone it got deleted. I’m super bummed out because it had over 200 notes and quite a few feedbacks that I never got to read because it was accidentally deleted...If the people that took the time to comment things on the story could take a bit more time to write a little comment again and give me their feedbacks, and also if the people that liked and reblog could do it once more...i’d appreciate the hell out of you <3.  So reposting it (thanks god I always have back ups of all my stories now). Written in twenty minutes during my break at work. Bam. Hope you’ll like it :
Also, since Tumblr’s new guidelines and enforcement of it, I DON’T really appear in searches anymore, so the only way for this story to be seen by others than those who follow me is to reblog it. So if you wanna, you can show your support for my writing by doing just that. Thanks very much. You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives
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Ok. So. Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Oh, right. 
Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 
Got it. Licking the back of your hand to make the salt stick to it, you pour yourself a massive shot of “To-Kill-Ya” in your coffee mug, not even caring about the fact that there is still some remnant of your cappuccino from last night in it. 
You focus on the sound the liquid makes as it fills your cup. Makes you think about something else. Good. Yup. This was totally gonna help right now. 
“Cheers”, you exclaim to yourself, your empty apartment echoing your voice. 
Salt. 
Wincing. Stingy. Salt on its own is gross. 
Tequila. 
More wincing. Oh my god, it burns. The coffee that was still at the bottom of the cup is an oddly nice touch. 
Lemon. 
The last of the Wincing. 
You spit the piece of lemon you just bit into in the trash and…miss. The yellow fruit falls with a little flat sound on the floor, and you honestly can’t bother to pick it up. Your apartment is a mess anyway, so you just stare at it angrily and pour yourself another drink. 
Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 
You gulp the last of the citrus and shiver. Miss the trash again. 
Damn. This was good. 
Well, actually, it was disgusting. 
You didn’t like strong alcohol and what the Hell ?! Why did you leave a bit of coffee in your cup ? Now that the aftertaste was kicking in, it was actually really gross. If the tequila itself didn’t make you wanna throw up, the stale coffee taste nearly did. Oh, and the salt and lemon combination was as awful as ever. 
You really didn’t like salt, tequila, or lemon. 
But it was still good. 
Because thanks to all this immediate awfulness, you could slowly feel yourself drift into “haze land”, and forget about your worries. 
Forget that your boyfriend of two years just cheated on you with some random woman you worked with. Woman that, by the way, he met at the Christmas “end of the year” party from you work you invited him to…You gave him free champagne and mise-en-bouche and all your love, and he broke your heart. 
It wasn’t your thing, to drink your sorrow away. And it wasn’t your thing either to wallow because of a man…But you genuinely thought he was “the one” (oh what a mistake you would soon realize that was). 
He was always so nice, treating you like a princess. He complimented you daily, and never forgot an important date. He was affectionate, not to an annoying point. He was the perfectamount of affectionate. He was a gentleman and seemed to love you and yet, he betrayed you. 
If a man like him, that was nothing short but sweet and passionate with you, cheated on you, then did that mean you couldn’t trust anyone ? 
Because in your eyes right now, he was perfect. Albeit said eyes were slightly clouded by a a few tequila shots. 
You were downing a fourth drink starting to slowly sob when…
There’s very few things that can get you out of a drunk state in seconds. 
An extremely cold shower could do the trick, for instance. Brings you back to your senses a bit you know ? You wouldn’t magically be sober, but you’d get a clearer mind. Or someone giving you shocking news ! Or like, an event so incredible that your body just forgets how drunk it is for a minute. 
And this event, for you, came at the perfect time. 
Right when you were entering your “sad drunk” phase, which was between the “lol alcohol does NOTHING to me” phase where you downed most of your drinks, and the “dancing on the bar’s counter” phase (a few more drinks and you would have a one woman dance party in your living room, acting as if you were on a bar’s counter and that your name was suddenly “Britney”).
Right when you were about to wallow times a thousand, and cry, and yell “whyyyyyyy ?!” to the sky, arms in the air (drama queen). 
Years later, looking back on that particular event, you’ll start to realize that Destiny HAS to exist. Because come on, it was just too perfect a timing to be a simple coincidence. 
You were about to swallow up your fifth drink, launching yourself head first into the “sad phase” when an ear shattering noise rang all around your apartment. 
Broken glass. 
It was the sound of broken glass. Heightened to the max by your drunkness. You turned on your stool, and…there he was. 
It was a guy. That you were sure of because he had no boobs and too much pecs. And that guy…well that guy just flew right through your window, destroying it. How rude. 
There was glass everywhere. 
How much did a window cost ? Probably a fortune. 
You wondered briefly if you could just use aluminium foil and tape the shit up. There was nothing of value to steal in your apartment anyway, and if aluminium foil could keep meals warm, it definitely worked with a house too right ? 
You sobered up quite a bit, but you were also very drunk when this event happened, so your mind was still in that cloudy weird phase where your priorities were…interesting. 
You worried more about the broken window at first, than about that guy who just launched through it. 
A guy. 
Not just any guy. 
You saw that guy before. 
He was one of those night vigilante your crazy hometown was filled with…RED HOOD !! 
“Thick thighs”, is the first thing you thought right after you recognized him (priorities). 
The second thing you thought was that you needed another drink, and so you downed what was your fifth one, but with that crazy thing happening ended up being on the same level as if it was a second one. You were tipsy, but not “drunk” anymore. 
The third thing that came to your mind was…Is he still alive ? 
No cause, he was like, just laying there, on your living room’s floor, not moving. 
“…Outch.” 
Oh. He spoke. 
So he ain’t dead. Good, means you can have another drink then, you don’t need a clear mind to call an ambulance or something. 
Oddly enough, in your half-drunk half-sober state, this sounded completely reasonable. Nevermind if Red Hood had some internal bleeding or something. He talked. He was probably fine. 
A minute passed, and you just sat there, sipping up your tequila in between taking a pinch of salt and biting into a piece of lemon. 
Salt, tequila, lemon. Great remedy against heartbreaks. 
Wait, were you heartbroken ? Really ? You couldn’t really recall that fact now. But, yeah…it was the reason why you were drinking right ? Because right now, all you could think about was the fact that this Red hood guy had abs for days…
This unforeseen event sobered you up quite a bit, but the two shots you just took kinda brought you back to the same state than you were before.
Well. Not quite. You were drunk as hell again, but seemed to have avoided the “sad phase”. Instead, Red Hood bursting quite literally through your window took you to another road. 
The : “Cool, I got a drinking buddy phase”. Well, taking for granted he didn’t have any internal bleeding and wouldn’t die while biting into a lemon wedge. 
“Tough day ?” 
You ask him, as he slowly sits up and shakes his head, trying to regain his senses. He looks towards you and seem surprised (or at least you think he is, because he wears a mask so…kinda hard to tell). 
************
Jason definitely thought he was alone in this place, because no sane person would just sit there, not saying anything, as someone simply jumped through their window. Nope, most people would just freak out. Scream. 
He knows, because it’s not the first time he falls through a window during a night on duty. And every single time it happened, people freaked out. Screamed. Threw stuffs at him, or hid away begging for their life to be spared. 
And yet here you were, half a bottle of tequila in front of you, surrounded by lemon wedges you bit into, and table salt all over your hand, just staring at him curiously. And did you just say : “tough day” ?  
Well, Jason guessed the empty half of the bottle was why you were so chilled about it all. He sat up, and slowly got back to his feet. 
Usually, going through a window meant the end of the night for him. He’d go back to one of his secret stash, patch himself up and get some rest. Most of the time, he fell through windows because someone pushed him or threw him there…Though today, he just embarrassingly missed a step and fell by himself. 
Of course, no one would ever now he tripped while jumping from one building to another (you lived on the last floor) and went careening into your home (and life). Nope, the official story would be that he fought a fierce enemy and was thrown into that window. Finding fake villains name was easy, given how truly ridiculous some could be. 
Tim and Damian were still after the “Illusive Blue Man” that he totally made up that one time he walked into a poll and had a huge black eye that he couldn’t quite explain…Oh man, he had to stop telling such elaborate lies and just say “I fought with a few guys last night” without more explanation. 
But he couldn’t help it. And those kids believed everything he said, it was too tempting…But for now, this wasn’t the issue. Nope. 
He did a quick check of his body and knew he wasn’t really hurt (thanks “dad” for the amazing body armor ugh ?), so he was planning on leaving that poor girl’s house and send a mystery check in the mail to pay for the damage (money stolen from a certain Bruce Wayne of course, as if he would pay himself). 
Yup. He was just gonna stand up, and go on his way and…somehow, he found himself sitting on the stool opposite side of this mysterious girl, and now she was peppering salt on his hand ? 
“Salt”, she says, and she has a cute drunk voice. Jason almost forgets he just went through a window a few minutes ago. 
“Tequila”, she continues, downing her drink and pointing at the one she poured him. He doesn’t even care the she poured it in a cereal bowl that she didn’t even seem to have clean…He drunk worst things in worst recipient. He turns away to take off his mask and so that she can’t see his face, and “bottom’s up”. 
“Lemon !” she finishes, biting into the sour fruit and spitting it in the direction of the trashcan but missing completely. The lemon wedge goes to lost itself amongst his fallen brothers…
Jason bites into his own lemons, and spits it. Right into the garbage. 
There’s a slight pause, where she just stares at the trashcan, and then at Jason, back to the trashcan, and then turns to him again and simply says : 
“Wow.” 
************
So. This was surreal. 
Here you were. In your home. Taking tequila shots. With…Red Hood. 
One of Gotham’s night vigilante. The most violent one. But the dude seemed chilled. He was holding his liquor really well. 
And now you were talking about your broken heart, telling him the story as if he’d been your friend for years. And he was listening. Intently. And reacting to what you were saying. It had been a LONG time, since you had this kind of talk with anyone, and despite the fact you were drunk, you still noticed how nice it felt to have someone to talk to. Someone that genuinely listened. 
“And then he slept with her !” you say angrily. 
“Nooooooo !?!” 
“Yes, he did ! He slept with…with…what was her name…”
“Nicole. From accounting.” 
“Right, Nicole from accounting ! That bitch ! She always just…counts and shit ! And he slept with her ! Nicole from accounting ! Whom he met thanks to me, by the way ! At a partyyyy !! At my wooooork !!” 
“What an ass.” 
“Right ?! Oh but he had such a good ass though…Quite firm. But whenever he wore jeans, it was super flat.” 
“So, not such a good ass in the end then ?” 
“I guess not. You have a good ass. Popping right out in this outfit of yours.” 
Red Hood chuckles, and the sound of his laughter makes you forget that you just said something incredibly embarrassing. His voice is…nice. Deep. Manly. You like it. You wanna make him chuckle some more, so you say, hoping : 
“And it looks very firm. Not just quite firm.” 
It works. He snorts and it’s very cute. Oh wow. He can be sexy and cute. Full package. You smile a bit dreamily. 
For a second, he’s lost in that smile of yours, and there’s a silence installing itself in the room. A comfortable one. That you break : 
“Ok. So now, he’s not that perfect anymore ! He got no ass ! Penalty points ! I never notice how un-assed he was before…” 
Jason smiles and damn. He’s hot. 
Somewhere along the way, he stopped turning his face away from you whenever he took a shot, and just ended up taking his helmet off. He was probably hoping that you’d black out or something, so you wouldn’t remember his face (or he just didn’t care). 
In any case, you were pretty sure you never saw him before. His face kinda reminded you of an old memory. Of someone you saw somewhere long ago, when you were a kid…Which wasn’t really a big help right ? 
Right. You had no idea who he was. And in your drunken state, probably couldn’t piece anything together anyway. So even if you did know who he could be, you wouldn’t know in the end anyway…Makes perfect sense right ?
What you knew was : he’s hot. 
This white streak in his hair did something to you that you couldn’t explain. And that jawline ? You would love to get cut on that bitch.  It could actually cut a bitch, you were sure of it. Those blue eyes ? You’ve never seen someone with such blue eyes. And did you mention to yourself how muscular he was ? Because man you only saw guys like this in magazines ! 
But beyond his handsome features, he seemed like a nice guy. Like he was listening to you, a total stranger. And this realization suddenly raised your guard up. 
You also thought that your ex-cheating-boyfriend was a nice guy. And come to think of it, who the hell just barge in someone’s home like that, and actually stay to drink tequila shots ?! Wait but…in your guts…it’s not like with your ex. 
You don’t think he’s a nice guy. You know he is. 
************
There’s a visible shift in your mood, after this realization. So far, you talked to him about your broken heart freely, and he listened. 
Oddly enough, no words that came out of your (perfect) mouth bored him. Jason wasn’t sure wether it was the alcohol or not, but you captivated him. 
But in a split second, and without him knowing why, your features changed. You were now frowning. Like an unhappy little kid. It was kinda cute, but he didn’t like it because…why were you frowning ? 
He tries to lighten up the mood and says : 
“Well here you go. See, you didn’t loose the perfect guy, his ass was flat in jeans. Can’t work with that, can you ? I bet we can find other flaws. Make you realize he actually was a looser.”  
Your guard is up, but you can’t help but smile a bit, plus you were frowning just now because you realized you just knew you could trust that total stranger, and it was so weird…. 
Besides, no harm in indulging this, because you’re pretty sure it’ll make you feel better to try and see the bad side of your ex-boyfriend, not just his good ones. No one was perfect. And so, still a bit careful, you say : 
“Well…He never got any of my Tv shows or movie references.” 
“Well, here’s a point to take off of his “perfectness”. Doesn’t get pop culture references. Deal breaker.” 
“Yeah…Yeah you’re right. It is. He also used to hate when I made jokes. I like puns ya know ? Terrible ones. Well, he was always embarrassed whenever I made them in public.” 
“Ashamed of his girlfriend, doesn’t sound very gentlemanly, right ?” 
“Yeah. It doesn’t. Maybe he wasn’t such a perfect gentleman…He also used to not want to go out with me if I didn’t wear any make-up and was dressed just casually.” 
“What you mean, he never just went out with you ?” 
“We only went out on dates. I had to dress up. I could be casual home though…” 
“Well goodie, the man let you be yourself when you were home. Big deal. To be honest, sounds like a douchey move.” 
“That was kinda douchey…I never cared what he looked like.” 
And it’s true. For you, physical appearance wasn’t everything. And sure you thought your ex was hot and all, but only because you liked his personality too. You liked his jokes, you were never ashamed of anything he said. 
And right now, sure that stranger that bursted through your window was hot, but the reason you felt like you could tell him things was because he just made you comfortable by his mere aura. Because he gave you such a good vibe. 
You never were fully about appearances. It was always just a bonus for you…So it never occurred to you why your ex would only hang out in public with you if you were pampered. Like he used to hate when you just wore hoodies and no make-up, even if you didn’t need make-up to be beautiful. 
Comes to think of it, he was very much about appearances…Uh. Interesting. You never realized that before. 
You turn to Red Hood, and the look on your face says it all. You’re slowly realizing maybe you didn’t just lost “the one”. The vigilante says : 
“Ok, so : no ass, no humor apparently, doesn’t get pop culture references, and was kind of a jerk when it came to going out with you…” 
“He did tell me often that I was beautiful though. Including when I just woke up from a night out, and was awful looking.”
“Yeah, but he never went out with you looking like that. He shouldn’t feel ashamed of hanging out with you looking like that. Just like he shouldn’t feel embarrassed when you joke. He can be exasperated, like if you really make bad puns, sure. And he can think it’s unfunny…But embarrassed ? No.” 
“I guess…I never thought about it.” 
“Well let me tell you, as someone who does not know neither you nor him personally, he sounds like a bit of a jerk. Let’s not forget he cheated as well. Like, that’s not something good people do. Especially not with…Nicole from accounting.” 
“Nicole from accounting…Yeah. They’re together now though.” 
“So ? He should’ve broken up with you if he realized he liked her. That’s the right thing to do. Trust me on that, I put villains behind bars for a living, I know what’s right or wrong.” 
“I heard you kill criminals.” 
“Used to. I used to kill criminals, I had issues. I’ll tell you one day if you wanna. It’s a real tear jerker story. With clowns and crowbars. And I’m telling you that because I’m drunk, right now. Also, if we want to be specific, I don’t actually make a living out of putting villains behind bars. Like, I don’t get paid or anything…” 
Jason finds himself ranting about anything that comes to his mind, and though he hears himself claim it’s because of the alcohol he’s saying all this, he realizes maybe there’s something else making him want to talk. 
You. A total stranger he walked upon. Or rather, went-through-the-window upon.  Who didn’t freak out when he went through said window. And instead, invited him over to have tequila shots. 
Because, according to your grandmother, the best remedy to…basically any problems in life, was “salt, tequila, lemon”. 
“She was a wise woman.” 
He says, and you turn to him, clearly not understanding what he was talking about. 
“Who ?” 
“Your grandma. For saying that salt, tequila and lemon was a great remedy against heartbreaks and all.” 
“Oh. Yeah. I wouldn’t know, I never met her. She died before I was born.” 
“Well what she passed on to your parents is great.” 
“What ?”
“Well, that “salt, tequila and lemon” thing, I assume she said that to your mom or dad, and then they said that to you, and then it became your grandma’s advice. Right ?” 
“…Nah. It’s an excuse I made up. Whenever I need to justify something, I just say “like my grandma said, ain’t no shame in eating an entire tub of ice cream if you want to”, and then people are just like “oh yeah, cool”, because when you say the word “grandma”, then it gives a perspective to your words ya know ?” 
Jason had no idea what you were on about, but he loved it. You seemed to be very smart. And witty. And funny. The hell did that guy cheated on you for ? And why was he ashamed of going out in public with you when you weren’t dressed up ?! 
You currently wore “Hello Kitty” pyjamas, had absolutely no make up on, and your hair was a mess, and he thought you looked gorgeous.
“Why are you so nice ?” 
Your question takes him by surprise, and for a few seconds he doesn’t register it and just says : “ugh ?” 
“To me. Why are you so nice to me ? Is it the alcohol ? Does it make you nice ? Or are you just nice to every stranger ? Every girl you destroy the windows of ? Or are you like my ex ? You seem nice, but then you go off and cheat on your girl simply because you like another girl and you’re too cowardly to break up with your current girl ?” 
Jason hiccups slightly, and says : 
“No, I’m not nice to any girl I met. I’m actually usually kind of a jerk, too “brutally honest”. But you…I don’t know. You give me good feelings. Oh and here’s to add on his flaws list. “Coward”. Can’t even break up with a girl, has to wait to get caught red-handed and break her heart. Cooooward. Bad flaw. Kind of guy who runs in the face of danger, instead of standing by you.” 
It’s probably the fact that he said “you give me good feelings” that spurs this in you. That gives you a new clearer perspective on things. 
“My heart wasn’t broken.”
It’s a shock, to you. This realization. This sudden feeling jumping in your face. You…are not heartbroken. You’re mad. You’re frustrated. You feel betrayed. You feel a crazy burning anger towards your ex for toying around with you like that. For not having the balls to just break up, after spending two years together. 
He was suppose to know you. To be your friend. Things could have turned out better. He could have just come up to you, say the truth, and…You were pretty sure you’d still be friend. Because he really was a great guy. 
He really was all the good thing you though about him. He made a mistake, an unforgivable one in your book. But he was a great guy. 
He was just…not your great guy. Not anymore at least. 
And you realized, there, quite drunk, that…It was ok.  
Your heart wasn’t broken.  
Your heart wasn’t broken. 
Your pride was. Your trust was. But your heart ? …Maybe you weren’t completely in love with him. You were best friends, yes, but love ? Maybe it wasn’t love…
Your heart wasn’t broken. 
“My heart isn’t broken.” 
You tell Red hood, looking at him right in his wonderful ocean blue eyes. And he looks right back at you, and just nods. Just like that. And then he pours you one last tequila shot. 
Because like your grandma would say : “When you make great discovery about yourself…Salt, tequila, lemon”. 
************
It took you only a few hours with him to realize that you weren’t in love with your ex, and that was kinda scary. Because this realization didn’t come from nowhere. 
Nope. 
But when he said that your ex broke your heart, you felt obligated to tell him that no. No your heart wasn’t broken. You were sad and angry, yes, but not heartbroken. For you, in that moment, it was important for this total stranger to know you weren’t actually in love. 
Hell, you didn’t even know yourself you weren’t that in love before you talked to him. It just came as a sudden, yet utterly true revelation. 
Because, and this wasn’t the alcohol speaking…You felt incredibly attracted to that guy. To Red Hood. Not just because of the white streak in his hair, and the eyes, and smile, and voice, and abs, and thick thighs. That too, sure, but not only…Nope. 
Nope. Not because of this. 
But because he had a tough day (he said so himself, explaining to you how he went through the window…he was fighting a super-villain when he got flung through your window, tough tough time ahem), and yet he sat with a crazy lady that peppered salt on his hand and practically forced him to take a tequila shot…
Because you could see in his eyes, and felt in your guts that he didn’t have an easy life…and yet he took a break from whatever he was doing to just sit with you and listen to you. He didn’t even make sense, that you trusted those feelings so fiercely. And yet, you did. Because he listened to you. 
He saw you were struggling and he stayed. And though you felt you couldn’t trust anyone at that time…You oddly felt like he was ok. 
Like he wouldn’t be the kind of guy to cheat, or run in the face of danger, leaving you all alone to fight off demons. 
In a few short hours, you fell for this guy more than you ever fell for your ex. 
What did that say about you uh ? …That was pretty pathetic…
************
Jason didn’t think that you were pathetic at all. 
On the contrary. If he went to seat with you, and drink with you, is because he was instantly mesmerized by you. 
And though he didn’t know at first why, now he was sure of it. 
It’s because you didn’t freak out. And something told him it wasn’t only because you were a bit drunk (he fell in drunk people’s home before…none reacted like you). 
Nope. It was because you were special. He just knew it. Special in every way. Funny. Beautiful. Genuinely listening to him when he was speaking. 
He peppered his own problems within your story, as you told him. And you listened. Hell, even referenced a few things he said early on, way later, while you were crazy drunk. You listened. 
You gave a total stranger that seemed to have a tough day some salt. And tequila. And lemons. 
And then you cared. You asked him a thousand times if he was ok, and he basically had to take off his armor to prove it so (to your eyes’ greatest pleasure…mm mm mm those muscles). 
Captivated. He was captivated by you. It was strange, and though he knew it was because you were special, he still was unclear as to why his feelings were that strong. 
For someone he just met. And barely knew. And only knew while drunk. 
You were just…Special. 
************
It was surreal. The all thing. 
What started as a night where you planned on wallowing your pain and drinking…ended up changing your life. 
And no one could convince you that it wasn’t Fate. Because what were the odds that Red Hood would fall through YOUR window after tripping (yeah you didn’t buy that “fighting super-villains thing” at all) ?
What were the odds of his timing being so perfect, arriving just before you started to cry ? Because there was no doubt in your mind that if he had come a few seconds later, he wouldn’t have stayed. 
He would have found a crying mess, and maybe he would have tried to confort you but…You wouldn’t have answered. In your “sad phase”, you only cry and whine. He would have eventually left. And the wonderful talk you’d just have, would never have happened. 
But instead. He came right before your lips touch that fatal shot of tequila that would have brought you into the “sad phase”. And took your drunkness down a notch. Rerouted your evening. 
You weren’t wallowing anymore, you were ranting. 
Sharing your anger and frustration. 
And he helped you realize that your ex wasn’t that perfect…That maybe it was just not meant to be…After all, he cheated on you. 
Uh. What a shame. You didn’t even know his name…”Red Hood”…
You wished you knew his name. 
************
The morning lights were rising, and the bottle of tequila was long gone. 
There were still salt and lemons though. For some reason, you decided to buy the entire grocery store’s stock of lemons. 
Red Hood stood up, and said he had to go. 
He was nice about it. Said it was a pleasure to have spend the night with you. You both laughed about the innuendos that ensued. 
You were exactly on the same page. And he understood all your joke referencing to pop culture… 
But it was time for him to go. And he apparently had no intention of telling you his real name. He didn’t hint either at ever coming back to see you again. 
And there was that. Just a nice night, spend talking to a genuine friend that you’ll never see again. 
A genuine friend that you didn’t even know a few hours before. 
Maybe it was the alcohol speaking. Maybe not. 
And even if you ended up never seeing him again, this evening truly changed your life…At least, it saved you from a heartbreak. Made you realize it wasn’t that.
Though, now, as he climbs out of the window again (he couldn’t possibly use the front door), you feel like the actual heartbreak is starting. 
Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Right. 
Salt, tequila, lemon…
But the tequila is all gone. 
“I’ll send someone to fix that window…Sorry again about that. …Bye.” are his last words, and then he’s out. 
And the tequila is all gone. 
************
… 
Days pass by in a blur. 
Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 
Ugh. But you don’t want to this time. You don’t want to get drunk to forget. 
You don’t want to forget him. And you know it’s ridiculous to get that worked up over a guy you met one night and that will never come back. That you didn’t even know the name of. 
This entire night was weird anyway. 
Getting drunk with a dangerous night vigilante. Pouring your heart out to him, and him doing the same. The hell were you even thinking ? 
Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 
That would be a good idea to do this right now, because man…your heart hurt. More than when you discovered your ex sleeping with Nicole. From accounting. But you can’t resolve yourself to drink. To forget. Nope. Instead you…
*Knock knock knock*. 
Uh ? You take a quick look at your clock in the kitchen.10 pm. Who the hell is coming at 10 pm ?! It can only be bad news. Especially in Gotham…You peep into the eyehole and…
WHAT ?! 
You open your door quickly, and… 
“Told you I’d send someone to fix your window.” 
It’s him. It’s Red hood. But in…civilian clothes. 
His ass doesn’t look flat in jeans. 
He’s holding a window wrapped in cardboard, and there’s a toolbox at his feet. 
“Yeah, you did…come in.” 
************
Jason Todd. 
That’s his name. And connections are fast to be made in your brain. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne’s adopted son. That supposedly died…ten years ago. 
And is Red Hood now. Oh. It makes sense. Even his little “killing criminals” thing while Batman never killed. You easily put two and two together. 
Red Hood. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne. 
Wow. Can’t believe you never guessed that before. Of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. He’s got the motive, the means, the excuses…It’s so obvious. And yet, you never realized. And no one else in Gotham ever realized. 
Jason Todd. 
Now you know his name. 
And he’s fixing your window. Nobody ever fixed windows for you before (even those who broke it).
Um. To add to the “perfect man” list : “Handy”. 
Jason Todd.  
He quickly works the window up, and then he turns to you. While he was working you talked, as if you knew each other for years. Joking around. Like old friends. Like old extremely good and close friends. 
It fits. It clicks. It’s natural. You and him, him and you. 
Barely knowing each others, and yet knowing each others the best. 
Jason. Todd. 
He turns to you now, and with a smirk, he says : 
“Ya know, my grandma always say that when something good happens to you, you need to celebrate. And I feel like this, right now, you and I, though I have no idea what we’re doing and where it’s going…Well it’s still something to celebrate. And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…” 
You smile. 
Yeah. You don’t know where this thing between you two is going, but you do know that you never met someone who so fully understood you. 
And in such a short span of time. And you know you’re not mistaking. It’s a feeling too strong to be a mistake. 
He came back to fix your window for god’s sake. And trusted you enough to tell you his actual name. Without a second thought. Which meant everything. Especially since from all the hint he let slip through last time you saw each others, about his father, well…let’s just say telling people his real name wasn’t really something he was used to. 
But it just works. It fits. It clicks. It’s not like with your ex, because you don’t think you know it does. It just does. The fact that you say those next few words in perfect sync finishes to convince you : 
(“…And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…”) 
“Salt, tequila, and lemons.” 
______________________________________________
I’m so mad the Tumblr app crashed and I deleted the original post...Y’all were great and reblogged the hell out of it ! Which is why it got so many notes in such a short span of times. And feedbacks. I haven’t had that many feedbacks on a story in a long time. So just one last time and I won’t bother you with that again : Please, if you enjoyed this story, don’t hesitate to reblog it and share it with others. People who don’t follow me can’t really find my stories anymore so...you’re a big help by spreading them. It’s always very encouraging. 
And if you got the time, feedbacks are always hella appreciated and always make my day a little brighter <3. 
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aliferous-ly · 6 years
Note
Find yourself and grow - bnha
this has nothing to do with the prompt but it inspired this s oooooooooo yup
Kirishima stared at the ceiling. An uncertain sort of energy thrummed through him, his eyes exhausted and bones like jelly but unable to close his eyes, his mind active but muted like a frizzled television.
He didn’t have the energy to get up but he didn’t have the ability to sleep, so Kirishima leaned over and grabbed his phone. Turning it on started a small headache right behind his eyes but Kirishima didn’t know what else to do, so he scrolled through a few social media sites, staring but not seeing.
A snapchat notification appeared at the top of his screen. [BROCCOLI BOI is typing…]
Kirishima narrowed his eyes and waited for the consecutive “BROCCOLI BOI has sent you a snap!”, but it never came.
He went to snapchat anyway, hovering over Izuku’s name for only a second before clicking.
[you] hey i saw u typing u up
Kirishima waited, hoping that Izuku was actually up and that snapchat didn’t glitch on him. Izuku’s profile bubbled, indicating that he was typing, and Kirishima let out a breath of relief.
[BROCCOLI BOI] yea sorry about that haha!
[BROCCOLI BOI] just a lil tired didnt want to bother u
[you] no worries i’m up too
[BROCCOLI BOI] you really should be getting sleep! sleep is incredibly important for lots of things
[you] i could say the same to u bro
[you] why u up?
[BROCCOLI BOI] why r u up?
[you] uh couldnt sleep
[BROCCOLI BOI] me neither
[you] ah
[BROCCOLI BOI] u should go to sleep tho
[you] u first
[BROCCOLI BOI] i can’t
[you] me neither
[you] i’m so tired i can’t get up but i cant fall asleep
[BROCCOLI BOI] wanna hang out in the lobby
[you] i just said im too tired to get up
[BROCCOLI BOI] but ur awake
[BROCCOLI BOI] i can carry u
[you] dude no i’m rlly heavy
[you] comes w the perks of being a literal rock
[BROCCOLI BOI] is that a challenge
[you] i mean go off deku
[BROCCOLI BOI] brt
“Oh my god,” Kirishima said aloud, running a hand down his face. “Oh man.”
Not a minute later he heard knocking before his door swung open, Midoriya genuinely standing in his threshold with All Might pajama pants and a plain red t-shirt.
Kirishima started sitting up, the fatigue receding for a moment as he laughed in shock. “I can’t believe you’re here, Midori– ah!” Kirishima yelped in surprise as Midoriya strode forwards and leaned down, placing his arms under Kirishima’s knees and behind his shoulders, picking him up effortlessly.
“Midoriya!” Kirishima threw his arms around Midoriya’s shoulders in shock, his body tensing instinctively.
A dusting of pink was brushed on Midoriya’s cheeks, but he said, “You aren’t that heavy, you know.”
Kirishima stared at him.
Midoriya shifted, then, looking more and more awkward. “I’m… I’m sorry? Uh. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Uh.”
“This is the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me,” Kirishima said, in awe. And wow, this was not great for his mini crush, honestly.
Mini. Yeah, okay.
Midoriya’s flush grew deeper but he didn’t set Kirishima down, instead positioning him into a more comfortable hold and stepping away from the bed. “So, uh, to the commons?”
“Let’s go to the rec room,” Kirishima said. The commons was always colder than the rec room, being so close to the entrance.
“The rec room…?” Midoriya said slowly. “There’s…?”
“Holy– okay, Midoriya, prepare to have your mind blown,” Kirishima said, gesturing with one hand for emphasis. “It’s like the commons but with like, way more pillows, and a way better TV, it’s hidden though, and there’s a code, you gotta follow it, okay?”
“Alright,” Midoriya said, laughter in his voice. “Lead the way, then?”
Kirishima flushed and wrapped his arms around Midoriya’s shoulders and neck again. He could probably walk, especially after Midoriya hyping him up about the rec room, but who was he to turn down such a rare experience?
Kirishima led him through the hallways, Midoriya giving him strange looks when he told him to go through the boiler room to get there. They eventually reached a door with a wooden sign. Which, in reality, was more of a wooden slab pinned to the door. Burnt into the wood said “enter if you dare”.
Kirishima exuberantly gestured to the door. “Here it is! All your hopes and dreams behind these hallowed doors!”
Midoriya glanced at him, then turned his gaze pointedly at the wood, a blush creeping up his neck as he muttered, “doubt it.”
“Hey dude, okay, I gotta–” Kirishima struggled out of Midoriya’s arms, now wide-awake and excited. “Initiation. So. You are about to enter the former abode of the hero squad known as Burnout.”
Midoriya hide his smile at Kirishima’s grave expression and jazz hands.
“Burnout found this abandoned room years ago and renovated it. They’re inspirations, really, and there’s rules pinned around the room that we have to follow or the room will reject us,” Kirishima said, nodding seriously. “A main one: no telling teachers. Legend says a member attempted to inform a teacher and they were never seen again…” Kirishima said lowly, then added, “just kidding! They were unable to use their quirk for a few hours. And they lost the trust of everyone else, obviously.”
“That sounds easy enough,” Midoriya said, mind already running through the possible quirks with such a power. It would have to encompass the room, but also be able to effect any who knew about it – including technically him as well, unless the rules weren’t enacted until he entered the room itself. Then the quirk had to be able to cause losing another quirk for a select amount of time by spoken word, maybe? These rules sounded awfully hard to enforce, and –
“’Doriya, my dude,” Kirishima punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Stay with me my man, that was only one.”
“Ah, sorry!” Midoriya blushed and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
“Rule number two,” Kirishima said, holding up two fingers. “No fighting. Real fighting, since it can tell the difference, somehow. Quirk usage is okay, but once it gets too… real, you gotta take it outside. That one makes you really tired, I know from experience.”
“…okay,” Midoriya said, deciding life would be easier the less questions he asked. Less time spent talking, the sooner they’d actually go in.
“Those are the most important ones I guess,” Kirishima mused, shrugging. “Alright, Midoriya, initiation over!”
Kirishima pushed the door open and beckoned Midoriya in, letting the door fall shut after Midoriya had entered.
“Welcome to the rec room!” Kirishima said proudly, like he was presenting a personal accomplishment.
The room could hold a decent amount of people while retaining that cozy size, with two couches, two recliners, and an uncountable amount of varying sizes and kinds of beanbags thrown about. Just as Kirishima promised, a large flat-screen sat on one wall, but a minifridge ran softly in the back of the room with a shaded window nearby.
“Wow,” Midoriya breathed. The walls were covered in old boards, giving the room a rustic feel.
Kirishima breezed by him and plopped onto one of the couches, sighing deeply. “Ah, it’s been too long.”
“When were you here last?” Midoriya asked.
“Two days ago,” Kirishima said. “Kaminari found it first, of course, so he told me and Sero, then Ashido because she beat him at arm wrestling, and Bakugou – I think Bakugou found it before all of us, honestly. Todoroki has totally been here before, too, the ice box in the mini fridge is always stocked – and maybe like, Tokoyami? Because that dude knows like, everything.”
Kirishima seemed to melt into the couch as he spoke, movements becoming more and more sluggish until he yawned. Midoriya took a step, hesitation pouring through his veins, because he didn’t want to intrude on Kirishima’s… on Kirishima.
Kirishima looked soft and pliable in a way Midoriya had never seen before, and the normally loud and expressive teen was… quiet, and tired, and yawning.
“Hey dude, wanna play like… video games or something?” Kirishima said.
“Maybe a movie,” Midoriya suggested, eyeing Kirishima’s drooping eyes as he finally made it to the couch and sat down gingerly.
“Dude let’s watch Pacific Rim,” Kirishima said. “You haven’t seen it, right?”
“I haven’t,” Midoriya said.
“Awesome.” Summoning energy from some deep energy source within him, Kirishima lurched from the couch and picked through a stack of movies next to the TV. While Kirishima was getting the movie ready, Midoriya glanced around the room.
Small post-its nailed – yes, nailed – to the wall littered the wood in pale yellow, pink, green, and the occasional green or orange pieces of paper. He read the nearest one to him: “Rule 31: if one of you little shits sticks ONE more piece of bubblegum to the ceiling you’re evicted”.
“Oh, yeah,” Kirishima said, noticing Midoriya’s gaze. “They added rules as time went on.”
Midoriya glanced at another one – a dark purple one with silver sharpie writing, sharp and jagged, with the words “Rule 12: NO SEX IN THIS ROOM YA NASTIES -from your neighborhood ace”.
Midoriya blinked, in surprise, shock, or embarrassment, or possibly a mixture of all three.
“I think the original three uh,” Kirishima cleared his throat. “Made a later member mad.”
“Oh my god,” Midoriya breathed, soft laughter falling from his lips.
Kirishima gazed at him for another second or two before flopping back onto the couch, pressing play. He was notably closer to Midoriya than when Midoriya had initially sat down, their arms almost (almost) brushing.
A few minutes in, Kirishima’s head dropped onto Midoriya’s shoulder.
By the fifteen minute mark, Kirishima was asleep.
Midoriya wasn’t sure how Kirishima managed to sleep through one of the most action-packed movies he’d ever seen, counting the All Might saga, without stirring once.
By the time the movie ended, Midoriya’s shoulder was asleep, but he didn’t dare move Kirishima – he looked softer, relaxed, while he slept, and Midoriya didn’t want to disrupt that.
However, after sitting in complete silence for a few minutes, TV black, Midoriya realized he’d have to move.
“Okay, Kiri,” Midoriya murmured mostly to himself, since Kirishima was sleeping. “Let’s get you back to your room.”
He propped Kirishima against the back of the couch and stood, cracking his back and rotating his shoulders, then leaned down and picked Kirishima up, throwing him over his shoulder. While the princess-hold had been great for dramatic effect and great because Midoriya got to see Kirishima’s expression, he wanted to have an open hand.
The halls were eerily quiet, as it was around three or four in the morning, but Midoriya’s stride was confident. He’d walked these halls at early times before.
Entering Kirishima’s room, Midoriya gently lay the teen on his obnoxiously colored sheets, pulling the comforter over his body and, unable to resist the temptation, gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.
He was almost out the door when a quiet, “Midoriya?” sounded from the bed.
He paused, door in hand, and tilted his head. “Yeah?”
“I really…” a yawn, then, “I really like you.”
Midoriya’s cheeks inflamed and he tensed, throat suddenly dry. He turned around completely, to craft a probably embarrassing babble of a response, but Kirishima was already sleeping again.
Midoriya shut the door as silently as he could, then sped-walked back to his room, having a mini-crisis.
He definitely wasn’t getting any more sleep tonight.
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writings-andstuff · 7 years
Text
Coincidences Part II (Bucky x Reader)
You guys have waited way too long for this and for that I’m sorry. But here it is, so I won’t start it with my usual long-winded preamble. 
Happy Reading!
Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Modern AU thingy)
Words: 5046 (yikes, that’s the longest fic I’ve ever written)
Warnings: The usual tiny bit of swearing
Excerpt:  For a moment, you wonder how this became your life. Yesterday, you were just another girl worrying about everything except her lack of a love life. Now that’s all you can think about because you’re flirting with a complete stranger. How insanely insane is that? For all you know, he could be a forty-something year old dude with three ex-wives and a beer-belly that could carry triplets. Somehow, though, you don’t think that’s likely.
Series Tags: @melanie451 @sebstanwassup @colagirl5 @winenighthoe @lovemarvelousfics @gotnotfeature @sebastianst-n @alwayshave-faith @hollycornish @iggytheboywonder 
Tags: @langinator @fairchild21
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Your name: submit What is this?
New Message from Mr. Catarcs
3:42 a.m u up?
You blink your eyes blearily and shift in bed. The sheet is wrapped around your legs like sweaty vines, constricting your movement. You growl angrily and throw them off, sitting up and relishing in the cool air of your apartment. Despite the frigid cold outside, you somehow still manage to wake up sweating. Maybe you’re a mutant. 
Glancing over at your phone, it dings again to impatiently let you know that you still haven’t opened the text that woke you up. Usually your phone is switched to silent because of your job at the diner. There are always so many phones going off that it’s almost impossible to tell which is which. It’s just easier having your phone on silent because then you’re never worried about whether your phone is ringing or if it’s someone else’s. It saves you a lot of unnecessary anxiety. 
But ever since last night’s conversation with James, you decided that you wanted to hear your phone ring with a text. It’s the first time in your life that you don’t want to miss a text. 
You pick up the offending piece technology and swipe it open. Sure enough, the text is from James and you grin despite the fact that this message is the same one that woke you at—you squint at your alarm clock—3:49 a.m. 
Deciding you are both thirsty and in need of some time in the open air of your apartment and not under the suffocating sheets, you get up and stretch. The floors are cold as you pad to the kitchen and fill a glass with water, shooting a text back to James. 
3:51 a.m I am now
You wait for an answer while downing your glass of water and putting the empty glass in the sink again. Maybe he fell back asleep when you didn’t answer right away. 
For a moment, you wonder how this became your life. Yesterday, you were just another girl worrying about everything except her lack of a love life. Now that’s all you can think about because you’re flirting with a complete stranger. How insanely insane is that? For all you know, he could be a forty-something year old dude with three ex-wives and a beer-belly that could carry triplets. Somehow, though, you don’t think that’s likely. 
You have no proof of this, and absolutely no reason to believe he isn’t a creep except for a gut feeling. You resolve to ask his age whenever he decides to answer you. 
You think about that. He could lie to you and tell you that he’s 20 when he’s really a lot older than that. The only way you’d truly know is if you meet him in person. 
Suddenly you’re a little dizzy. This is just way too much to worry about at four a.m. You decide to just talk to him. You genuinely like his personality, and you don’t have to worry about all that other stuff until you actually meet him. If you actually meet him. That’s a big, neon-colored, flashing sign in the middle of absolute nowhere if.  
Your phone dings and you look over from where you’re clutching the counter. You don’t notice how hard you were gripping the counter until you pull your palms away and it stings, lines etching themselves across your palm. 
4:03 a.m srry didnt mean to wake u
Before you can even formulate a response, he’s texting you again. A double text. Gasp.
4:04 a.m just couldnt sleep. i was wondring if u wanted to talk
You tilt your head at your screen. He’s up in the middle of the night, and the first thing he does is text you? Why? Does he not have other people he can talk to? A stupid part of you, the same part that wants to meet him in person, thinks that maybe it’s because he wants to talk to you. 
Maybe he does. Probably not. It’s too much to hope for. All his other friends are probably asleep. Regardless, not answering is not an option. Well, it is, but it’s not one you’re likely to explore, not when your chest has those freaky bubbles in it and your stomach is doing that stupid flippy-thingy. Nope. This, you decide, feels like High School when a cute boy texted you first and the instinct to giggle shot up to level 12. 
4:06 a.m alright. what about?
Capitals, Y/N. What the hell happened to capitals?
You take your phone and pad back into your room, perching yourself up against the headboard with your knees drawn up to your chest and your phone in your hands as you wait for a response. Worrying your bottom lip, your mind drifts to work. You’ll have to get up in about three hours to be at work on time. Man, you’re going to be tired. 
It’s then that your phone dings. You decide then that talking to him makes it worth the fatigue. 
4:11 a.m twenty questions?
4:11 a.m Fine, but since you woke me up you have to go first.
The three dots that mean he’s typing pop up three different times before the response finally comes through. 
4:15 a.m whatd u go to school 4?
You laugh. 
4:15 a.m getting down to the nitty gritty personal stuff I see
You think for a moment. Telling him what you do isn’t divulging too much about yourself, so you decide it’s okay.
4:16 a.m lol yup thats me. i want the deep personal stuff. might just ask what ur fav color is nxt
4:16 a.m 1. editing; 2. sorry, that’s sacred info
4:17 a.m 1 ah i understand y ur a grammar nazi now…2 obviously
Thinking for a moment, you decide that favorites are just too cliche. Any conversation anyone has with some new friend ends in questions that start with “What’s your favorite…” You really want to know how old he is, but you figure you need an ice breaker before you get to the actual nitty gritty. 
First, though, you must take the bait to piss him off:
4:19 a.m What would you have done if I hadn’t gone to college?
With a yawn, you lie back down and curl on your side, sitting your phone on the nightstand in front of you with your eyes glued to it. Once you realize that staring at it isn’t going to make him type faster, you turn over. 
You’re totally not too eager. There’s no—
Ding!
You flip over so fast that you rip the sheet from the other side of the bed and end up with half of it between your stomach and the bed. It pulls from the bottom corner of the bed and is slightly uncomfortable, but you don’t care. 
4:22 a.m high school?
4:23 a.m I didn’t go to high school FOR anything 
You’re not sure if the use of caps-lock is weird, but you send it off anyways, deciding that emphasis on that one word is crucial to your meaning. He replies within seconds. 
4:23 a.m i mean dunno bout u but i went to learn
You laugh, probably louder than is necessary. 
4:24 a.m Touche. What’d you go to school for?
4:26 a.m repeating questions isnt alowed
Frowning, you wonder if he actually didn’t go to college. Should you push it? Maybe you should just change the question. There’s a part of you, the curious part that wanted to be a reporter when you were young, that really wants to know. 
There isn’t too much time for you to think all of that before he’s texting you again. Usually, you’re the one to mercilessly double-text. James, it would seem, has you beat in this department. Also, you didn’t want to double-text a complete stranger. 
Before you even look at the text, it hits you again: this is a complete stranger. The thought of not answering enters your mind again, but you push it down. No harm in just talking if neither of you meet, right? Right?
Right. 
4:27 a.m i joined the military right out of HS
It’s a real Oh moment, and you find yourself staring at your screen as if it’s a real person. The military? What are you supposed to say to that? What’s the protocol for a text that you’re not sure how to answer? Should you just leave it alone? No; if you leave it alone then he’ll think he freaked you out. He hasn’t. Your brain is just short-circuiting on an answer. 
Should you think him for his service? No. Not yet. You don’t want to call too much attention to it in case he doesn’t want to talk about it or he’s had bad experiences, but you’re still not sure how to respond. Have you taken too long already? 
You summon up some courage and type out a message. 
4:31 a.m Oh wow. Well, what would you have studied if you had gone?
You cringe, totally not meaning for that to sound like you were completely skipping over the issue altogether. James doesn’t seem to mind though, if his response is any indication. 
4:32 a.m hmm history i think. ive always liked ww2 4 some reason
4:33 a.m well you’ve got AP european history girl right here. 1 of only 11 in the whole senior class to take it. 
4:34 a.m well, smartypants i get 2 q’s bc u asked 2 
You feel that you handled that effectively, and you were already beginning to formulate a plan in your head while he thought about his questions. 
See, you know next to nothing about the military or what it’s all about except that it is for valiant people who want to serve their country. You can respect that, but you want—nay, need—to learn more. Convincing yourself that it’s purely for research purposes and not for anything else.
Regardless, you need to know more. It’s probably better to get it from someone who has been through it rather than from some cold, impersonal online source. And besides, you just so happen to know someone who was in the military. Someone who, in fact, lost a limb in the line of duty: Bucky Barnes. 
As far as you know, Bucky lost his left arm in the military. You’d asked him before how he lost it and he hadn’t answered you, opting instead to change the subject to Steve and his new (at the time) art studio. It had been suspicious, but you understand that it must not be easy to speak about something like that. 
You’ll have to go talk to Steve tomorrow morning to get Bucky’s number, but you think that maybe you’ll treat him to lunch in exchange for him giving you some details about the whole military thing. At the company, you get an hour off for lunch, which is just enough time to go out, interrogate a friend (respectfully, of course), and head back before the hour is up. 
The plan was formed and you had your head already set on it. By the time James’ reply comes in, you’ve tuckered yourself out thinking that whole plan out. It is really late—er, early—after all. 
4:41 a.m 1 how was ur day 2 how r u likely to spend a friday night
4:43 a.m I feel like I’m taking a Buzzfeed quiz
You yawn again and type out your answers.
4:44 a.m my day’s just begun. it’s four a.m. And probably reading or something
You put your phone down, thinking that you’ll just leave it there and wait for his reply, but you end up turning over and falling asleep. 
In the morning, you turn your phone on silent again while you get ready for work, playing some music while you apply some light make-up. 
It turned out that James hadn’t answered you anyway, so you would have been up waiting for a text that wasn’t going to come. Good thing you passed out. 
Glancing at the clock, you notice that it’s 7:02 a.m and that Steve should be up. You don’t have to be at work until 8 and it’s not a long bus ride to get to work so you figure you can spare half an hour to haggle your best friend into giving up Bucky’s phone number. You wonder why you haven’t thought to get it sooner, figuring that you just never needed it. 
You and Bucky only ever hung out with Steve or the rest of the gang. He was a friend of yours, but the two of you had never been too close in the two years of knowing each other. That said, you had heard a lot about each other even before meeting from Steve, and Bucky had expressed in the past how annoying he found it when Steve was constantly mentioning you in casual conversation. 
It was the same with Bucky for you. Steve had been talking about his best friend Bucky ever since you had met him. It was in that way that you and Bucky had gotten to know each other sort of inadvertently. 
Heading out the door and across the hall, you knock on Steve’s door lightly a few times. He’s a light sleeper anyways, and you don’t want to wake the whole hall with loud knocking. You only opt for knocking this time in case he’s not decent or something. Otherwise, you would have used your key.
Sure enough, Steve answers the door within a few minutes, clad in flannel pajama pants, a white V-neck, and holding a steaming cup of coffee. It smells amazing, and you realize then that in your rush you’d forgotten to make yourself some. 
“Got another one of those and half an hour?”
Steve raises an eyebrow but steps aside to let you in. He’s a morning person, so you were sure on your way over here that you wouldn’t receive any resistance. 
“What do you need?” he asks you, pouring you a cup of coffee not unlike how he’d done it the night before. He pours in a generous amount of milk and some sugar before stirring it and handing it to you, just the way you like it. 
Blow, sip—“Mm,” you hum. “I need Bucky’s phone number.” You say it as nonchalantly as you can manage so as not to raise any flags to Steve, but by his surprised expression you can tell that you’ve raised them all. 
“Bucky? Why?”
You shrug like it’s no big deal. “He has some info that I need.” It sounds so covert and cheesy that you almost giggle, but you manage to keep your composure while sipping your coffee again. 
Steve tilts his head to the side almost imperceptibly, leaning his back against the counter across from you as you sit at a stool by his island. Said island juts out from a wall to half-enclose the kitchen area like a wrap-around ‘J’ with the island as the tail. 
After a few moments of silence, it becomes clear that Steve is waiting for you to elaborate, and when you don’t indulge, he sighs, setting his cup down and crossing his arms. 
“Okay, but don’t call him now,” Steve says, already ruffling in a drawer for a pen and paper. “He—he has trouble sleeping, and he needs as much of it as he can get before he has to work. And he’s taking Friday off so he has to log in more hours to make up the difference.” Steve hands you a piece of paper with numbers scribbled on it. 
“Got it,” you said, taking the paper and sticking it in your bag. “Thanks, Steve.”
“Yeah,” he smiles at you. “No problem.”
You stand and head to the door, plan in motion and feeling good about it. Then you remember something and turn as you’re walking toward the door. 
“Steve?”
He lifts his head from where he’s still standing in the kitchen sipping his coffee. You realize you’ve left yours there, but decide that it’s okay. You’ll survive. Somehow. 
“Yeah?”
“Mom is bringing over pasta around two, but I won’t be home,” you can already see his eyes lighting up. “I told her to make extra and that you should be back by then. Can you—”
“—keep it here until you get home?” He knows you so well, it’s scary. “Yeah, but don’t expect me not to try some of it first.”
You fix him with a warning finger. “I’ll be over at seven and I will expect there to be enough for dinner and lunch tomorrow.”
He holds his hands up. “Hey, we all know my metabolism requires a lot of calories per day, and two is just in time for a late lunch.”
“Steve,” you warn. 
“Alright,” he laughs. “I’ll leave some of your mother’s pasta for you for dinner.”
“That’s all I ask.” 
You walk back over, kiss his cheek, take one more sip of your coffee, and then leave. 
You tap your foot on the ground impatiently as you wait at your desk for the clock to turn from 11:29 to 11:30 so you can head for a bathroom break to call Bucky and find out if he’s busy for lunch. 
James hadn’t texted you all day, but you figure that’s okay. He doesn’t always have to text you. He has a life. You push him mostly out of your head, or you try to. You fail miserably. 
He’s the reason you’re meeting with Bucky anyways. As much as you don’t want to admit it, that’s the truth. Of course, you can’t tell Bucky that. You’ll just sound stupid. And then Bucky will tell Steve and Steve will have some sort of “talking to strangers is bad” intervention with you. You definitely don’t want to endure that. 
11:30 hits and it’s officially been half an hour since your actual bathroom break. You don’t want to call attention to yourself in the office that you share with a whole bunch of other people in too-tightly-packed cubicles. You grab the slip of paper Steve had given you and head to the elevator. 
By the time you make it to the downstairs bathroom, you realize that you forgot your phone upstairs on your desk. Great. Now what are you going to do? If you go back up to get it, you’ll look suspicious. Of course, you shouldn’t really care what your coworkers think of you, but you do. Everybody says they don’t care about peer acceptance but most actually do. 
It’s human nature.
You sigh angrily and look around. The lobby is all marble floors and a little shop where they sell overpriced snacks and drinks. There’s a desk to the left of the elevator bank with one woman sitting in a black wheelie chair making and taking phone calls.
Can you just ask her to borrow one of her phones? There’s an empty seat next to her. Maybe you can explain your situation and just ask this woman if you can borrow the phone. 
The only thing is that you don’t know this woman. Your supers rented the office space with the endless rows of cubicles  from the people who owned the building. This woman obviously works for the building management, and not for anyone you know. 
You decide it’s better that she doesn’t know you. It’s less personal. You can call Bucky, discuss details, and be done with it. 
You sidle over and lean on the high desk. Its polished marble top is so high that you have to lean over it a little to see the woman. She’s plump, with dark hair, blue eyes, and a squished face. She looks the opposite of friendly. She’s wearing a black headset that you realize is some sort of Bluetooth. 
You wait until she is done speaking to talk to her. 
“Um, hello?”
She doesn’t look at you for a moment, reaching up instinctively as if she thinks you’re in her headset before she realizes she’s speaking to a real person. She eyes you. 
“What?”
You were right to guess she wasn’t very friendly. 
“I was wondering if I could borrow your phone,” you say kindly. “I have to call someone and I accidentally left my phone upstairs.”
She looks bored and eyes you for another second before looking back at her computer screen. “Just go up and get it.”
“It’s urgent,” you lie. Man, this is going to be awkward after you make the call right in front of her and she finds out its personal.
She eyes you again. “You have five minutes.”
You smile at her. “I’ll only need three.”
You wait as she plops one of the black phones on top of the counter, and it’s so high that you have to go up on your tiptoes to see the number pad. 
“Type extension 382 first, then the number.”
With that, she gets back to her work and you pull the phone from the receiver. You flatten the paper on the desk and do as she instructed. 
You wonder if he’ll even pick up. This will be an unknown number to him, and you know that if it were you, you wouldn’t answer. 
It rings three times before a familiar, gruff voice answers.
“Hello?”
“Bucky? It’s Y/N.”
He sounds surprised. “Y/N?” There’s a pause, a honking noise, and then he sounds as if he’s realized something. “Steve gave you my number.”
“Yeah,” you say. “I had to call you from a work phone, though.”
You catch the woman looking up at you briefly and can tell she’s annoyed that this is a personal call. You’re sure this call needs to be as short as you can possibly make it or else you’re afraid she’ll just cut it herself. 
“Oh.”
“Listen, are you busy for lunch in, like, half an hour?”
Bucky thinks for a moment on the other line and the lady looks at you again, her gaze becoming more venomous. You’re pretty sure that once she looks at you a third time she’s going to end your call for you. 
Just as you’re about to scold him for an answer, Bucky speaks up. 
“Yeah, I’m—”
You feel bad, but you have to cut him off. 
“Okay, great. Meet me at the Deli down the street from Steve’s studio at 12 sharp. My treat.”
Bucky chuckled on the other end. “Your treat? What do you need from me?”
You smile despite the situation. “Just your brain.”
“Sure you don’t want Banner or Stark for that one?”
“I’m sure,” the woman was giving you her last angry glare. You had to go. “See you then, Buck.”
“Looking forward to having my brain probed. Bye, Y/N.”
You hang up, thank the lady, and make your way back upstairs as fast as you can. 12:00 can’t come quick enough. 
Bucky wonders what you want to talk to him about as he drives a company truck to the deli and parallel parks a couple blocks down. The flatbed of the truck is filled with mismatched pieces of junk, from broken computers to the plastic from the top of a printer. It’s all stuff that can be broken down and reprocessed at a plant. 
The city is taking down an old building and putting a new office building up in its place. It’s Bucky’s job as the assistant to take all the not-so-useless junk and dispose of it somewhere where it can be reused. 
He doesn’t have to be at the plant until two, and he finished loading everything up early, so he has about two hours or so to spare. 
Walking into the Deli, he’s hit with a wave of merciful heat and he immediately pulls his coat off. The deli is small with few patrons a small line for take-out. One woman is sipping an iced coffee through a straw while she types madly on a computer. Two men are sitting at a table wearing yellow vests and eating huge subs. Bucky wonders if he would have ended up as one of them, working for the DPW if he hadn’t begun working with the demolition company. 
It takes him barely a moment of looking around to find Y/N sitting in a corner flanked by two windows with an empty seat across from her. There’s a wrapped sandwich and a water sitting on the table in front of the other seat. 
She’s smoothing out the wrapper of her own sandwich as if the creases in the paper wrapping are offending and should not be allowed to exist. 
“Hey,” he says, walking over and taking a seat in front of her. 
She looks up at him and smiles. “Hey,” she shoots back, and then nods to the sandwich. “Got you a BLT.”
Bucky’s suspicions are steadily growing. He pulls the paper from around the sandwich and lays it on the table as Y/N had done, though he couldn’t care less about the creases. He looks between the sandwich and the girl, eyeing both with the suspicion of someone who thinks he’s being played. 
“What’s this about?” he asks. 
She swallows and puts her sandwich down, looking like she’s about to ask him a ground-breaking, life-changing question. Her eyes quickly flick over to his arm and he’s suddenly very sure he knows what this is about. 
But that’s strange. Yesterday—or really early this morning—he was talking to Y/M/N about him having been in the military. Now Y/N is eyeing his arm like she really wants to ask what happened but she doesn’t want to sound impolite. 
Then there’s the fact that they’re both editors. That’s weird. And how Y/N reminds him of Y/M/N. 
He’s an apopheniac, he has to be. He’s seeing coincidences where there really aren’t any. It’s his brain playing tricks on him. In truth, maybe he just wants this strange girl to be Y/N. Though, probably not. Then again, maybe this whole time he thought he was jealous of Y/N for being so close to Steve, he was really jealous of Steve for being so close to Y/N. 
That thought derails him so fast that he doesn’t hear it when Y/N actually asks her question. 
She lets out a breath as if it’s a load-off to finally ask him, and he’s struck with the realization that if he says he didn’t hear her, she probably won’t take it well. He waits for her to say something else, but when she doesn’t he takes a leap of faith based on her glance at his arm. 
“You want to know how I lost my arm,” he says, rather than asks. If her expression of shock and discomfort is any indication, he’s screwed up. 
Big time.
Shit.
“I mean,” she straightens in her chair. “I guess—it’s sorta part of it? Yeah.”
She sounds so lost and he feels so bad. 
He still has no idea what her original question was though. ‘Part of it.’ His thoughts drift back to his earlier conversation with the girl he’s been talking to over text. The military. Could that be what Y/N wants to know about?
No, it’s just too weird. There’s no way. But he has to know. 
“The military? You want to know about the military?”
She nods, looking slightly guilty. “Yeah,” he tries not to let his breath of relief show, “I—uh, fact-checking. I’m fact-checking an article.”
Bucky nods slowly, sandwich forgotten. She’s a terribly liar. “You’re a terrible liar.”
Sitting back as if she’s been punched in the gut, she blinks once, twice, three times—“I’m not lying.”
“Your body language gives you away.”
“Is that something you learned in the military?”
Bucky chuckles. “That’s something I learned from a whole lot of spy movies. Seriously, why do you want to know?”
She takes a bite of her sandwich and speaks around it. Altogether, not the most sexy, but that’s okay. 
“Research,” she says slowly.
Bucky creases his eyebrows. “For?”
“For a project?”
“If you’re going to lie, at least lie with conviction,” Bucky says. “One of these days, I’m going to teach you how to lie the right way.”
Laughing, she pulls her chair in a little more and sits forward. The picture of seriousness, she says, “Alright, if I tell you, you need to promise me you won’t tell Steve.” She sounds reluctant to tell him at all. This must not have been her plan. 
Bucky draws a cross over his heart with his index finger. “Cross my heart or hope to die.”
She shakes her head. “Gotta be stronger than that. You have to pinkie promise.”
He gasps dramatically. “Not a pinkie promise. This must really be serious.”
Reaching over, she swats his arm. “Buck, I’m serious.”
“Okay, okay,” he surrenders, holding up his pinkie. She links hers with his and he’s momentarily struck by how soft her skin is. Then it’s over. “Tell me.”
She steels herself, he can see it. Jeez, it must really be something serious or she wouldn’t be swearing him to secrecy using childish, yet efficient tactics. It strikes him that she tells Steve everything, same as him, so for her to say she doesn’t want him to know must mean it’s not necessarily something good.
He lets himself think for a moment that she might be about to confess that she’s the mystery girl he’s been texting. It’s much more likely, though, that she’s about to tell him she’s got feelings for Steve or something. 
Steeling himself as well, he waits as she takes a deep breath. 
“I may or may not—”
“You may,” he corrects. She glares at him. 
“—have answered a text from a guy who was trying to text someone else—” 
This is where Bucky stops listening and his internal monologue becomes one word: 
Fuck.
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electrifythoughts · 6 years
Text
Restless on my fucking birthday.
23, bitch. This year has been wild.
You see, I’ve never experienced an actual hearbreak, because I’m in love with looks. Just like material shiny things, superficial, I love pretty boys. That’s not actually love right? so heartbreak is never in my dictionary, Because i’ve never been in love. I just love pretty boys and sex like I love skincare and makeup. But these pretty boys dont love me  obviously. A year back I thought emotional traits follows after a one night stand ( Ok, not literally because I’m still a virgin , I never fuck just everything but fuck) but a year later (now)  I think it’s fictional. The only heartbreak I had was getting cut off by 5 years of friendship. Yup, my first heartbreak is from a bunch of girls. I swear to god it tore me down worst that I expected. 
I don’t know what the fuck had happened, but to cut things short I was not within their expectation of a great friend according to them and im a slut so they didnt like it. But wallahi, I really tried. Anyway the heartbreak went on like a bitch, my batch has cliques and cliques and people just move in groups. I was SO depended on them and attached, and when they decided to cut me off. Well it wasnt easy. I had to swallow the truth everyday every time I encounter them. And oh my god, everyday , my heart breaks everytime i see them. I know I shouldnt give my ‘family is broken’ card, but honestly they were my life because my family life consisted of only 30% in my life. Nevertheless I still had family and i appreciate them alhamdulillah. I was really scarred and it’s hard to go on with life. I know to some people it’s exaggeration but WHAT THE FUCK DO U WANT ME TO DO THATS HOW I FEEL.
Anyway i feel like i can’t move on with next sem, it’s like my existence just  disgust them, they probably dont think so but whenever i saw/ terserempak them im just depressed lah like all the memories just flashback , like how i cried driving from gombak to kelana jaya and left out apa semua . There’s a lot of negativity and it demotivated me. Now a crazy bitch(a new case) is out to get me and I have to deal with that too. And a failed subject (5% short to pass, can u fuckingg believe it????blodyfucking hell i was really improving on all other subject and this just dragged the fuck outta me). So I dont know should i take the sem off, aku malas nak deal with my fam like whats really my problem and all sebab i dont tell my family shit my dad is a commando he never feels this weak feelings/mental health shit is a problem you know?? 
But what the fuck should i do in 6 months??? Dont give me the whole white people shit like i should travel to ‘ explore myself’…………….I dunno im uncertain with my future. I’m really in dilemma. I dont want to fuck a big life decision again
About boys…..I dont seem to catch feelings anymore. I lost count all the boys i liplocked it’s good like this cuz i dont have to go thru the whole atta crush anymore, but it really worried liana and najwa because yknow they dont want me slutty they want me to be stable. BUT HONESTLY WHO DOESNT KAN AND THE ONLY PLACE I TALK TO BOYS IS TINDER WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I DO THEN????meet people where i barely participated in anything cuz i couldnt catch up with studies????and I have this slut meter i created in my mind. and just keep transgressing it everytime. But ya tuhan, i dont want to do things u dont want me to do but i like intimacy so much AKU NAK KAWIN TAPI TAKDE ORANG AND TAKDE DUIT AND AKU TAKUT RESPONSIBILITY. how now god…i like all the things u haramkan. im 23 youknow, and love never reciprocate back. If i would hve the opportunity i would really be in love and get married and just be a slut to my husband. But im not in love but im a romantic slut.
 The whole goodvibes moment where i was left out again because some people dont want to be around,,,, and people are just fake. So i dragged myself into the surau with my short skirt and a see thru tshirt to pray…..in my rundown mascara because i cried the fuck outta my eye. My shoes was torn and i was left out , barefoot and everyone looked at me like so crazy bitch. A guy trynna grind me (ended up sharing weed with him) because what the fuck life sucks but i gotta get high Anyway yeah I stole the surau’s slipper and went on the festival alone. I was actually embarassed because i thought people care but they just dont.
Btw I be friended with this girl thinking she’s ok. but she went on me batshit crazy about something and accuses me with things i didnt do. Short story short, this is girl is paranoid and make things inside her head. I genuinely thought i could be friends with her I brought her home and all like a friend should do. and she’s been accusing me of shit right now and i blocked her cuz i think she has a problem (read:mental). Anyway i dont wanna speak ill of her because she has a problem.
But like….i thought im nice to people i should be treated the same, but things went extremely contradicted. What did i went wrong? Is it because im too miang its a punishment from god
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