#I have hunger cues and I listen to them look at me hehe | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

raycatz · 4 months

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hey hey hey guess what! I was hospitalized around this time in May in 2014 for anorexia nervosa. I spent two weeks in the hospital and then three weeks in an inpatient program. I struggled with anorexia through high school and college and returned to restrictive eating multiple times. Food for the longest time wasn't safe. It's something I thought about day in and day out and it brought me a huge amount of anxiety and distress.

It's been a decade since I was hospitalized. I've come a long way since then and I'm proud to say that food isn't something I'm afraid of anymore. For four years now I haven't restricted or done any of my anorexic habits. There are still things that trigger that ED feeling, and I think there always will be, but I haven't felt the need to listen to it. I eat what I want, when I want, without any guilt or fear. This is something that would have been unimaginable to 2014 me. I've come so far. I'm so relived to be able to find joy in food again. I'm really proud!

#rays random ramblings #this isn't worded the best maybe - I haven't gotten a whole lot of sleep lol #but! It should be said!#I should call my auntie and tell her! She helped me so much when it was at its worst #tw eating disorders #the only food thing now is the really normal adhd thing where I get super involved in a project and forget to eat #and then I complete the thing and go 'ah I need to eat'#and I do that. no worrying or overthinking or a million calculations and mental checks #I just eat and enjoy it and think nothing of it #and in retrospect like- THAT'S AMAZING #that's so cool!#I have hunger cues and I listen to them look at me hehe #I eat chips and make lemonade with my siblings #ice cream!!! I eat ice cream now!!!#lmao xD #it's just so much off of my mental load it's such a relief

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