#I have like. a different post I’m writing talking abt how I think miles actually gives hobie hope and that’s an interesting way to read

[fellhellion]

Ngl, I’m not entirely sure where the “Miguel and Hobie hate each other” reading comes from, when from their like. One interaction i don’t personally get the impression they think much about each other at all shdhdjfjf

Miguel seems kind of exasperated with Hobie sure, but the tone of that interaction is relatively lighthearted. It’s more of a joke that by virtue of Miguel being a stringent rule follower, Hobie not caring overly much about those rules exasperates him. And Hobie knows it annoys Miguel and thinks that’s funny, thus prodding him again with the “I’m not even here/nah still here” routine. But there doesn’t seem to be like, genuine personal anger on either side. Just an ideological divide that actualises even further when Miles’ very existence provides another answer to the overhanging stakes.

[atroquinine-my-love]

I just finished Ace Attorney Investigations 2 and now that's everyone else's problem (post-game ramblings under the cut)

Investigations 2 is honestly one of the best AA games I’ve watched to date. I say “one of” because there’s of course the Original Ace Attorney, Trials and Tribulations, as well as Rise From the Ashes (which is 7 hours long, she counts as a full game). That being said, none of these had fully inter-connected cases like aai2 has. You can’t talk about a single case without it leading into another. Meanwhile, AA1 was just building up Edgeworth and Phoenix’s relationship, RFtA was a single case, and T&T had two totally unrelated cases to the main game. None of these had strong themes of family and the parallels of different cast members through that theme, either - while individual characters went through their own arcs, none of these games had every single character dealing with their own qualms of the same theme.

While all of the cases in aai2 fed into its inevitable conclusion, it felt like the first two cases were tedious and almost made me skip to AA5 without looking back. (Logic Chess also seemed like a ridiculous concept and throughout the entire first case I was cackling, but that’s neither here nor there.) As soon as we started our third case and started to lay down the themes of family, parents' love, and following in the footsteps of our fathers, though, I loved every second. Some of my issues with the earlier cases were Justine and Sebastian, but looking back on it their stubbornness (and stupidity, on Seb’s part) was necessary to have the last case work so well and hit so hard.

Courtney was weeding out corruption, but by trying to remain impartial to everything she was slightly blinded by it (similar to Franziska’s obsession with perfection, who didn’t have as big of a role in this game, but still had a few very powerful lines). Her compassion for her son was really heartwarming, accurate, and really took her character from “good” to “great”.

Sebastian, though! Who can get through this game without having a total 180 on Sebastian! The best arc behind (and a strong parallel to) Edgeworth’s in AA1, imo. A pretentious incompetent teenager trying to act like he owns the world, and then has every foundation he’s ever laid be taken out from under him within a matter of hours. While many call Sebastian an idiot, the only one who calls him that to his face is his own father. Many times! You feel for the kid. And then his father commits MANY a crime, and Sebastian tries to stick up for him anyway until his dad turns around and tells him that every single accomplishment he’d thought he’d earned was given to him. I won’t get into much more detail, but I will say that Edgeworth steps into a father-figure role for Sebastian in a really beautiful way. The Logic Chess after Sebastian has been kidnapped and the courtroom scene as Sebastian takes on Blaise are testaments to this amazing shift in their dynamic.

Simon Keyes was a great villain, his reveal was amazing, and the parallels to Edgeworth’s story were just as potent as Sebastian’s. The idea of an animal tamer being your big bad because he knows how to manipulate not only animals but humans? Fucking amazing concept. We didn’t see his redemption or his evolution into what he became so much as saw him as a conclusion to how everything could have gone wrong with Miles, and (if you wanted to really stretch) Sebastian. In the end, I’m glad he got to have a father figure, even if it was an imprisoned assassin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, I’m pissed we never got an official localization but at this point, I desperately hope we don’t. I don’t think the Capcom team is going to be able to pull this off as well as the fan translators did, and I’m actually very partial to the fan voice actors. Plus, how the hell are they going to beat the names Justine Courtney and Sebastian DeBeste? Just don’t even try, Capcom, keep to your little DGS localizations and cafe arts.

I have more thoughts on the plot and characters like Ray, John, Gregory and others but I feel like none of those are concrete enough to write down at the moment ‘cause I just got my second shot for COVID and I’m probably going to take a long nap after I post this. If you wanna talk abt this feel free to ask/message.

tl;dr: I fuckin love this game bro 🤘😔

[shouyouwrites]

Kageyama asking you out:

So uuhhhh, I admit it. I got a little carried away. And this is my first post, like ever, so I’m kind of terrified. But anyhow, I really hope you’ll like it! It’s my first time writing headcanons and they’re a little too specific (as though I’m writing a drabble or smth, sorry abt that) but I had so much fun!!

I like to think of Tobio as a really shy and nervous boy when it comes to romance and things like that, so excuse me if he might seem too ooc! Feedback is greatly appreciated! uwu

Truth be told, it took him a little while to realize why it was that his heart went crazy whenever you two were too close, or why his cheeks warmed up at the mere thought of you, or why you seemed to be on his mind almost as much as volleyball.

At the beginning, he was so confused. He had a feeling he might want to be best friends with you or something, but he wasn’t so sure.

He talked to Suga about it one day after practice – since he was good at giving advice about being a setter, he should be good at giving advice when it came to other things too, right? – and thankfully Suga was quick to understand what was going on.

So, once he realized – and eventually accepted – that he had a crush on you, he thought he’d be alright with asking you out right away.

Wrong. Oh, was he wrong.

The first attempt to ask you out went horribly. He ended up asking you to just help him with his English homework instead – because Yachi was supposedly “too busy with Hinata” – something you’d already done so many times you’d lost count.

You were confused, and a bit worried too; why had he seemed so nervous if that was the only thing he’d wanted to ask?

“Did someone make fun of you because I’m helping you?”

“No, of course not! That’s not it at all!”

When he blushed and started confusing his words, you had a feeling that he was embarrassed about something he did not want you to know, so you quickly dropped the subject.

He was grateful that you didn’t bring it up again.

The second time he tried asking you out, he ended up not doing anything at all. He’d been planning it all week, telling himself that he’d find you this day, at this hour, when he knew he’d be able to take you somewhere quiet and you two could be alone. He’d even practiced in front of the mirror, that was how nervous he was!

But he ended up not stopping by your classroom at all.

He couldn’t help but be scared of what your answer might be.

Yes, he’d love it if you said yes, but he didn’t have much experience with dating and all, and he was afraid he’d mess up. He’d only recently managed to start being considerate of his teammates’ feelings and all; he was worried that he’d be selfish and harsh to you without even realizing it.

He preferred just being friends with you than becoming something more and ending up hurting you without meaning to.

The boys in the volleyball club noticed his discomfort, some expressing their worries and others teasing him about ‘his tosses not being as accurate because his mind is too clouded’.

And it wasn’t like they were wrong. All this worry had made him feel disoriented in a way. He couldn’t focus on anything these days, not even volleyball.

After becoming frustrated enough to think about his not-so-little crush again, he decided that, okay, maybe he was indeed a little too worried. What was the worst thing that could happen? If you said no, he’d have to try to hide his disappointment for your sake, and if you said yes and you two started dating, maybe you could teach him a few things about it? You were great at helping him with school-related things, so why wouldn’t you be great with helping him with that as well?

So he finally mustered up the courage to ask you out. On an actual date.

He wouldn’t look you in the eye, he was constantly wiping his sweaty hands on his pants – poor boy was so nervous it could be seen from a mile away – and by the time he was done, his face was such a deep shade of red you actually felt bad.

But more than that, you were shocked. You admittedly had a crush on him as well – for a long time actually – but you’d never tried to make a move. You didn’t think he would want to have anything to do with relationships; his whole life seemed to revolve around volleyball after all.

And it wasn’t like Kageyama was someone who was… well, very affectionate. The way he acted around you wasn’t all that different from the way he acted around everyone else, was it?

To think that, out of all people, he had developed a crush on you and was now asking you out... you thought about pinching yourself for a second, because it wasn’t unlikely that this was just another silly dream of yours.

You were a bit concerned at the look of utter surprise that crossed his face when you grinned and immediately said yes, but you didn’t think too much of it.

When you took his hand and walked with him to the gym, he was smiling too, and that was all that mattered.

[achieveandhunt]

live typing extra life 2019

warning: this a fucking LONG post. if you plan on reading it all, godspeed.

i typed all of this as it was happening on stream so this gets progressively less coherent as i grow more sleep deprived. prepare yourselves. i may or may not go off topic at some points

larry vehemently vomiting pure malic acid. we’re off to a great start

what the fuck the soggy ass popcorn in that ranch jesus christ

lindsay in the song from AH the musical. i love her so much

jeremy going YAAAAAAY after someone eats a cursed oreo

matt getting AGGRESSIVELY kissed by larry

“this kiss this kiss” before geoff and jack kiss

geoff “i’m from alabama” ramsey

THIS FUCKING RANCH SEGMENT HAS ME GAGGING

jeremy “the alcohol demon the whiskey goblin” dooley

alfredo “you wont believe what the white people did today” diaz

DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS GET THAT DICK ESSENCE

wait why does it sound like wonderwall

they look like characters from the matrix

the speaking parts. make my teeth hurt

in conclusion: they weren’t kidding abt the tight pants 

okay everyone get ready for eric soundboard spamming YEAH BABEY

“hi i’m from broadcast and i don’t want to be here” they represent themselves well

also, let’s take a second to appreciate broadcast here!! they have a really tough job and don’t get a ton of credit. lots of love to all of broadcast!!! you guys are awesome

i am: foreseeing problems with this eric sound board

which one is eric?? will the real eric please stand up?? was the real eric the one we found along the way??

“i’m... just really worried that i won’t ever find love-” “i really don’t care”

WHY DO THEY HAVE THAT ON THE SOUNDBOARD (what does that apply to? whatever it is you’re thinking of, but mostly “daddy wants some”)

ooh someone’s about to get a fReE tongue piercing from a pineapple

god dammit i went to the bathroom for thirty seconds and now they’re eating chad’s chest hair

owie the shock collar and belly slap look painful, but drinking natty light from a shoe? that’s a true punishment

“and this roast was brought to you by meundies”

ah yes what better way is there to end a segment than people throwing up

“man action” oh no

THROBERT MULVEINY

K A R B is blind in T W O of her eyes

“my last name is cottagecheese”

I HAVE A PIECE OF METAL SHOVED UP MY A S S 

chris has somehow managed to lose 23 years of age and roughly 412 pounds

“just open throat like baby bird” who the fuck is writing this and why is it jeremy

jon. jon you’re breathing in adam’s ass fumes

a summary of this segment: ass and cottage cheese

BARB IS HERE I REPEAT BARB IS HERE

“to fitness” -starts choking-

final fitness coach: tad, here to workout your issues so they can beat you into submission

“will you buy my wet” well i don’t see that on the raffle items

we’re back folks & i’m loving this walk around segment

moonball wall and gavin&michael will soon be reunited can we get an F in the chat

jeremy getting a borderlands tattoo is very on brand

what’s extra life without a little satan

“starvation army, putting lead back into paint, increasing childhood obesity” people in chat: TAKE MY MONEY

chris “i’m doing a different hole” demarais

ah yes. the game we all play in hell: twister

nobody edit chris getting mustard shot down his throat. i’m scarred enough from the original clip

oh fuck. oh god. the mayo. oh god what the fuck is up with the misuse of condiments this year

this just in: a human soul costs roughly $12,700

D̷̯͑̆̈́͝Õ̸̲͎̥̬͈̬̙͕̲G̸̢̧̠͉͚̙̲̙̓̔̀̇S̷̥̀́͆̈́̇̀ ̶̣̞̗͚̬̭̖̦͇̈́̎̈́̿̓̈́͆̒̋D̷̙̟̩̫͉̺̐̊̚Ö̶̥́̋́̓ͅĜ̵̞̌͋̏̉̌̕͝͝S̵̤̹̣̫̮̻͛̍̑̕͝͝ ̷̧̨̞̙̥̟̜͍̉̍̑̏̇̀̾D̴̻̮̩̯͓͉̖͎̘͐̒͋̓̉͝ͅỎ̶̰͓̳̥͑̅͛͊̒͐͊͘̚G̵̩̻̦̥̠̃̔Ş̶̹͚̩̱͖̀͆͘ ̸̢̢͇̻͔̗̺̼͖̱̏̾̔̚D̴̨̨̫̙̃̾̋̾̆̓̓Ớ̷̡͓͎͊G̶̱̣̣̰̝̖̰̗̓͐̐̊͋̀͊̀̕͝Ş̷̩̺̬̖͙̺̟͗̈́͒͗̀̑́́̕͠ ̷̡͈̼̲͈̳̫̺̝̈́̋͌͗̒ͅD̸̨̬̞̪̗̘̄̑͆̿̈́͘͠͝O̸̡̡͇͕̻͎͍͉̅̌͗̄͌̑̉̔͂̎Ḡ̸͙̟̪̞̬̬͕͐̈̏S̶̝̪̼̮̠̜̭̳͖̘̑

urine: to help with aerodynamics

jon: maya, speak! maya: *the smallest arwoo*

today’s mvp: any dog. pick one. no matter which you pick, you’re right

how the fuck did blaine change back from satan so quickly

barb as a cat is... my new sleep paralysis demon

blaine: barbara speak! barbara: climate change is real

#dogsforkids

this just in: extra life killed my wifi

we’re back & kdin is in the business of killing people with spice. she is the spice queen

queue six thousand well-timed 1337 donations

HOLY SHIT THAT’S COLIN FROM WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY

hmm “questionable liquids” is very... questionable

trevor: oh there’s four of them! we all get to join in the Fuckkkk

“what’s your favorite kind of candy” “any meat”

i like pickles and i would rather rip my eyebrows off than drink the juice so i feel for trevor

the only thing worse than drinking apple cider vinegar is shooting it out of your nose

“can you feel the love tonight” “i used to and that’s the problem”

“flubs every word man” damn, really missed the chance to say captain hair

jeremy not being able to intentionally flub his words is so fucking funny

OK BOOMER 

wow i can feel my blood pressure spike just watching these shots

Xavier Woods is here and he wants to know if it’s Christmas

miles doesn’t know what a question is

WHERE’S YOUR HAIR

oh no. oh no helping hands is next. everyone clear a splash zone

CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE

miles bossing around chef mike is priceless

“you leave that fucking dough on the floor”

“you wanna slam your hands down on the table” *pizza sauce goes flying everywhere*

HOEDOWN HOEDOWN HOEDOWN jesus why do i keep doing that

“If Colin Mochrie is listening, I’ll see you here next year” OH FUCK YEAH

--- this is when i take a break so my soul can return to my body (aka i have work to turn in. college will never not be a pain in my ass) ---

oh god dammit i missed all of Always Open. fuck college who needs a medical degree

so... we have some very interesting things happening in family feud and i’m not sure if i like any of them

hmm. is now the time to get drunk

oily twist feels very... ominous

what do you mean you don’t remember gandalf having a taser in lord of the rings?

someone in the chat said “big stupid sleeping thing is what my parents called me in high school”

i think i’m blacking out what’s going on i don’t remember the past two hours

ah yes. voldemort and snape having a talk show together sounds exactly like something J.K. Rowling would make a spinoff book or show or porno of

can we just talk about how much shit chris has been doing this year? what a guy. what a dude

“coldy with voldy” actually means getting knocked the fuck out cold because you only got three hours of sleep last night and you don’t want to miss chef mike and lindsay cooking

this snape poem is summarized by one phrase: “that was terrible sit the fuck down” (sorry chris)

“let’s destroy a weasley” enter chad

fucking called it

“you smell poor” i need a caffeine drip

heh the wheel spins are at 69 heh nice

i’m a grown ass woman

welcome to a section called: we torture chad for your entertainment

“who wants us to kill weasley?” *massive cheers from the audience*

“wait weasley step away from the wideshot so i can masturbate to this later”

“i’m not gonna rub my eye mom”

oh they’re really gonna kill chad on stream huh

i felt that chest slap in my soul

i think i felt my own ribs crack

oh fucking

tumblr deleted my thoughts on the fanfic section

alright. fine. brief summary: my teeth are burning

my mom lindsay is on next and i’m so excited but i’m nearing the point of loopiness so things will go downhill dramatically from here

this is my fucking fourth extra life, you would think i’d be smart enough to sleep the night before

LINDSAY LINDSAY LINDSAY THAT’S MY MOM

JEREMY JEREMY JERE- wait a second... did jeremy get taller

oH CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE CHEF MIKE

i hope Xavier comes back next year because he’s funny as fuck

m y a t t

oh god the mcdonald’s shade i’m rolling

lindsay “who’s the chef here” jones

chef mike mentioned mayo and i involuntarily gagged

chef mike clowning the big mac. i’m crying

he made the right choice with ryan bc i’ve seen his cooking stream(s) and it’s nothing if not great content

i heARD A MICHAEL JONES

“lindsay you haven’t done anything but warm up cookies so far” “yeah and?? you’re welcome”

you know that classic snack. slightly warm oreos

JEREMY THE LIQUOR GOBLIN DOOLEY IS BACK

oh god him screeching across set is making me cry laughing

why does it remind me of trevor’s voice cracks in the one minecraft ep where they’re singing the lion king

the biggest spoon for the smallest shot glass

i just realized we’re not even halfway through yet and i’m scared for the length of this list i’m gonna end up falling asleep involuntarily at some point

lindsay no your teeth are going to errode from that shot in your mouth

well timed leet donation #1829495

this gorden ramsey bit is so fucking good

jack: what do you think of the arugala? matt: i don’t even know what you said

iT’s NoT jUsT tWo CoOkIeS miCHeAL

jeremy and michael just chillin amidst the choas is exactly my demeanor at any party i’ve ever been to

lindsay scores: ryan = 7 because diet coke, matt = still eating lindsay’s meal so it’s a 10, xavier = also still eating it so it’s an 8. total: 25

“deep fry everything but a remote control”

chef mike scores: ryan = 9 for no death, matt = greens are present, words were said, score is 8. xavier = Gourmet Mcdonald’s, food is edible, score is 8. total: 25

oh fuck it’s a tie

now they fight to the death. death = doing as many shots as possible

i think we’re all going to need liver transplants after tonight

no jesus please don’t vomit oh goD oh fUc k please- oh thank god

okay i’m making a part two this is too much

[luobingmeis]

share your mama thoughts!!!! (if you would like to)

you’re gonna look at these and, within 2.5 seconds, say “wow jords the self-projection is strong tn”

or more so “wow jords we really see the dynamics that u yearn for and yet cannot find so u project them onto fictional characters who u look up to in a way u can’t quite understand”

post-writing notes: this got way longer than i expected (the jords ohsweetflips story), so this is going under the cut, but enjoy my huge mama backstory headcanons!!!

first things first, i hc mama as a lesbian, bc i am a lesbian, and i feel very attached to mama, so i hc her as a lesbian (but also i believe that anyone can hc her to be anything that they damn well please)

and, forgive me, i don’t know shit abt west virginian geography, but i think she grew up in a town like aubrey’s? like i know we didn’t get a lot of description of aubrey’s younger life outside her home, but i kinda see mama as having this “old money” type homelife

and bc i, jords ohsweetflips, wish i had a group of lesbian friends so that i could’ve had some guidance in my teen years, i hc that, in her town, she found her way into the small yet secure lesbian “scene” that was just a couple girls around her age (i see her as 15 at this time, with others ranging 15-18) along with a couple who were, like, 19/20

and tbh, just the vibe i get from mama and how she seems much more inclined towards found family than blood relatives, i don’t think she had the nicest folks so, when she came out, that was it, you know?

and tbh i completely see mama (well, madeline at this point) as someone who is very like “i don’t need help, i can do things on my own,” even as a young teen, so i think for, like, a week or two, she did the whole “on her own” things

but bc her friends were absolute angels, and also found out that she had been essentially homeless, two of the girls who are 19 and 20 and have an apartment are like “fuck no, you’re staying with us”

and madeline is at first like “no, really, i’m fine” but the thought of an actually loving home is too tempting to ignore

so from the ages of 15 to 18, she lives with her friends!!! she was fairly good at art at this point so she was able to get some in to the local galleries and shops and make some money off of it, and then when she was around 17, her friends were able to get her a job bussing at the bar they worked in

she also liked to whittle a lot!!! she made a lot of ducks

she was 18 when she decided to move out, and that’s when she heard of kepler. or, more so, she heard of it from another one of her friends who dubbed it as “a place fit for you, mads”

so she managed to save up enough money for an apartment and she moved out of her hometown and absolutely the friends she lived with cried their eyes out when they were helping her move in and tbh even madeline got a bit teary eyed bc they were like family, you know?

and so basically, from the ages of 18-24, she lived in kepler and got her bearings and this was when she started to get really into wood carving!!! she was able to get some pieces out there and get some recognition and, by her mid20s, she was actually making decent money, or at least enough to not be living paycheck to paycheck

in this phase of living in kepler, i think she was in a very “people knew her but she didn’t know them that well” just bc i don’t see her as the type of person to be a “social butterfly”? i think she mostly, tho, became friendly with the man who ran kepler’s local coffee shop, and the wives who owned the little dipper back before it was the hornet’s nest. she’s also def met leo and thacker, but only in passing, mostly. i think, once she got closer to her late 20s/early 30s, she would have heard of duck and juno but, in her being 18-24, they were probably still kids/young teenagers.

WAIT I CAN’T FORGET 1980S MAMA AESTHETIC: whole lot of jackets. she did a lot of thrift shopping so she has so many huge jackets. lot of denim. and leather. work boots. flannel. patches. are you picking up on the self projection yet.

and then, in november of 1988, when she was 24, the gate went up. she encountered her first abomination by accident. she had been out in the woods, just trekking back to her apartment and deciding to take the scenic route, when all of a sudden.... one of the smaller trees started moving? and she was like “well that’s not what trees do” and then she saw that the tree had a jagged mouth dripping with sap and branches acting like long, clawed hands, and she was like “well that ain’t no normal tree”

i don’t have my Big Brave Madeline “Mama” Cobb Origin Battle Story yet but she definitely just chopped the shit out of the tree and it managed to work

i think it would be Very Funny if, very shortly after that, her first sylph was barclay. like, i have a feeling that age works a bit different for sylphs, and honestly i have no clue where they would get the disguises from? maybe heathcliff? but the thought of madeline running into Literal Bigfoot and barclay, maybe like 20yo in sylph age, being like “WAIT DON’T KILL ME” bc this young woman already looks ready for leather is very entertaining

and that’s when mama learns abt the sylphs, and how they’re not abominations, and barclay shows her the gate 

and also yes barclay absolutely stays in her apartment except he is So Hidden bc imagine the chaos of Literal Bigfoot being in her apartment! hysterical!

but, soon, mama crosses over into sylvain and figures out Everything that has gone on and knows abt the crystal shattering and the wars and she realizes that there have been sylphs exiled to earth and she’s like “well that ain’t gonna fly”

so she starts the pineguard and, for that first year, it’s mostly just her? and, at that point, it’s harder to locate sylphs, so she only has barclay and one or two others staying with her and it’s cramped but they’re safe so she’s happy

she meets thacker around... april 1989, i think? i know it was spring. so he helps out, and then they recruit another guy, mike (canonically mentioned in the water arc), and a couple others, and, suddenly, the pineguard is turning into an actual thing

and then, one of the ski lodges up on topside closes, now leaving a completely empty inn just... taking up space...... and it’s only a half mile from the gate........... and she has been making a decent amount of money from her sculptures

before the end of 1989, amnesty lodge is set up and running and, all of a sudden, it’s like she has another real home again. she loves the sylphs she meets and they can be safe with her!!

thacker absolutely has a bunch of “home videos” where, really, he’s just messing around with madeline. it’s almost like a “madeline cobb nature documentary” as she finishes up the lodge and treks through the woods. there’s also some of barclay and moira, and other pineguard members, and other sylphs that show up. he also has his journals and pictures and other books and, at one point, the cellar looks like thacker’s library

also the ballad of bigfoot is absolutely canonical and, after stephanie & griffin & C.M. leave the lodge, thacker has never seen madeline go off like she did on barclay that night. barclay still has some residual fear for hearing mama (who’s a big woman but he is Big Foot so he is definitely just Big) scream up at him “I WILL PUT YOU BACK IN THE WOODS WHERE I FOUND YOU, DON’T YOU TEST ME, BARCLAY”

even tho the two of them don’t talk abt it much, and might not even realize it that early on (picturing like late 20s/early 30s), thacker and mama really are best friends and, tbh, every sylph can see it in the way they bicker yet unconditionally care for each other

madeline almost kicked thacker out of the pineguard when she first found out what he put in his gorp

dani showed up in 2009 and, at the age of 12, she was the youngest sylph amnesty lodge had by a fucking landslide, and that made madeline so angry yet so sad bc this child had been exiled from her home and that was just a thing that could happen

(madeline never got along too well with woodbridge but, after that, knowing that he is the one in charge of the exiles, she could never even be civil with him)

she was immediately protective of dani and was ready to really step in as a parental figure bc she wasn’t abt to let this young girl be without guidance

and she gave dani handmedowns and took her shopping and would make sure that she felt safe and comfortable bc, really, she was the only sylph in the lodge who wasn’t an adult. and, fortunately, barclay was basically an older brother to her and moira looked out for her and i think dani coming into the lodge was what really gave everyone a very big reality check bc, like. she’s a kid

(is it obvious that i’m a bit attached to mama and dani)

and so it should come as no shock that, within a year of dani being in amnesty lodge, madeline became “mama”

and then, in 2011, jake, age 16, showed up, and by then mama was like “alright time to adopt him”

but also, real talk, mama looks out for all her sylphs so much, she’d lay down her life for any of them

when thacker leaves in 2013, she’s at first okay, doing just fine. he promised that he would come back, and she has faith in him. and then months pass. and then a year. and then two. and, all of a sudden, it’s the spring of 2016 and kepler expeditions is officially shut down and mama realizes just how much she misses her best friend.

and, not to mention, the waning of the pineguard.

by the time it gets to the summer of 2018, it’s just her and barclay, the both of them hoping things stay the same, but hope hasn’t gotten them too far

and then they have a fire magician, and a forest ranger with a talking sword, and ned fucking chicane

and now we have reached canon!!! thank u for coming to my ted talk!!!!

also tho, post-finale during the big reunion, thacker is just talking with aubrey and all of a sudden is like “holy shit, you really are like her, aren’t you?” and aubrey is just like “???” and thacker says, “don’t go tellin’ her, because she’ll kick my ass, but talkin’ to you is just like talkin’ to maddie when she was your age” and aubrey is a bit :’)

[flexmains]

/

#stray 1am thoughts 

#my dad always handled the camera when i was growing up #if we ever had any family photos he'd always be the one to set it up or he'd opt to not be in the photo to take it himself

#i am comforted to see that other neurodivergent people have forgotten such large chunks of their childhood too #because i know i don't remember him for all the things he did do for me #and that's the only thing i feel a little bad about when i think of him

#but i do remember plenty of the things he did do to me so that's on him for that B)

#i wonder if he'd have encouraged me to pick it up when i was in high school and curious about my fencing advisor's photography lab #i wonder if he'd have kept it locked away from me #i wonder if i would have ever felt comfortable expressing myself enough to mention that i liked the idea of photography at all to him

#the photography and the printing and the tucking them away in albums and hiding the albums away #the shame, me having to call myself stupid to make him back off, feeling slow, and just... feeling neutral about everything else #i wonder what shaped my awkward aversion to looking at myself in the mirror most

#the feeling i remember most is the embarrassment of making eye contact with a stranger on public transportation while i washed my face in the morning

#i remember staring intensely at my own hands as i brush my teeth in the morning - and i still do 

#i can't find myself in photos if i'm not the central figure and someone doesn't tell me 'hey that's you' 

#i almost remember the day i realized i could see my own reflection in windows as i walked the streets outside my high school #and i was embarrassed and shocked and almost afraid of the realization and the recognition of BEING and then i got tired of typing in tags and moved this to a full text post but

i don’t really know 100% where this thought came from... i did talk to a friend about some of these thoughts, but it really all started tonight when i wanted to think about my dad holding the camera. and i thought to myself, he handed it over to me sometimes, right? and i think he did. 

and i think i was so awed by the weight and complexity and the magic of it that i never played with the dials or settings or buttons. i was afraid to even adjust the zoom or focal length for fear of his having made some settings before letting me see. 

and i wonder if he could have criticized me for it (i’m not curious enough, how dull) or if he was glad to see it (i would not mess with his things because i was respectful) or if he noticed or cared about it or me at all (did he really have a second family? can i trust my mother’s narrative about that?)

and then he would frame us in the viewfinder and take those photos and print them out and put them away. they’re still downstairs and i think about looking at them all the time, but i’m kind of scared to.

and when i was in high school i had no concept of my physical literal body. seeing my clothes in the mirror was like looking at a mannequin, and sometimes i would be like “hm, not bad” sometimes if I liked the collar on my shirts, but my face and my head and my person weren’t REALLY there and i didn’t really see them. like if i could pop my head off and look at what was left and i’d be like, sure, that’s normal.

i was so shocked in college when i looked at my old high school photos. my body... looked like THAT? i had been so muc hcloser to being fit actually 😔 and it wasn’t that i thought i wasn’t fit or that i thought i was fat or anything, but i just DIDN’T think of myself.

i think about that now and i wish i’d maintained that body type a bit more B) now i am heavy but i think i’m pretty strong too. i might never be thin again but i want to be strong. 

oh i remember what i wanted to write this post for now o:

i wish picking up a camera came more naturally to me. my parents said they wanted to prioritize showing us the world while we were young, to give us that kind of open perspective they didn’t have. they were literally eating grass off the hills in the mountains of China at the age my brother and i first went back to China to visit. they were foraging for roots and vegetables at the age we first went to Disneyworld. when i went to Alaska for my 8th birthday, my mother and her would have been going to school and working at home on alternating days to maximize the family’s potential food rations.

but to me, i feel like maybe they didn’t know what they were showing us, so we didn’t take in all that much. we went on so many trips for so many of my birthdays, but we rushed through more cities instead of spending more time in any one place. we did the most basic touristy tours once a day and then spent twice as long in transit between other locations.

i feel pretty certain that i only really had the freedom i have had to be myself and explore myself and to learn about myself through other lenses because my dad passed away. i don’t think i could have learned as much about being a lesbian as i did without him combing all my history and downloads and everything as he did. i think he would might have been even more controlling than my paranoid mother when i was in college. i wonder often if he’d have pushed me to apply to different schools and changed that trajectory a lot.

i wonder if he would have found it in himself to accept that about me? i think it would be unfair for me to jump to remembering him at his meanest and say he’d entirely have shut me down for it. he did end up working for one of my elementary school friends’ lesbian moms in real estate, so i feel like he had to be kind of okay with it to a degree.

but he got to control so many photos and i never built my habit of wanting to take photos while he was around. and now, when i go somewhere beautiful, i automatically feel clumsy whipping out a camera. and when i pull out my phone, i feel a little guilty for being screen-obsessed, but i think about how on the nights i am home and thinking abt where i have traveled in my city and the world... i just want to remember what it was like to stand where i did and see what i did thousands of miles away... i know i would rather have taken the photos than not B’)

i’m so sad to think that i could have forgotten these moments without the photos to give me context. i’m sad to think about the moments i did forget without photos. i know there’ll be more, and i know that all things will come to pass, but i want to remember. i just want to remember and i want to hold the memories a little longer. i want to experience being me a little more in my own head and my own memory. i think that would be neat, to say the least.

i stare myself in the eyes and doodle versions of my self the way i’d reconstruct anyone if they asked me to doodle them. i would love to learn to paint, and i’d love to make it a hobby to sit on a bench and paint whatever i see before me. i think that would be a really good exercise of viewing and creating and i have no actual intention to start doing so any time soon, but i’ll think on it intensely, at least.

speaking of physical appearances, i don’t think i ever really put my photo on my blog even when i was active on krorys, especially considering how weird i felt about seeing my own face, but

i had my hair cut short almost a year ago and i’m now fat in a way that i’m not good at drawing accurately yet but that’ll come with practice.i’m learning to cut my hair through lockdown but i’m intimidated by trimming the top part of my undercut. it’s gotten so long that it constantly gets in my eyes and i will have to bite the bullet and cut it myself soon anyway. i accidentally bought a bunch of v-necks and couldn’t be bothered to return them for other necklines and i got flip flops in san diego that i’m abt to break out again for the hot weather now B) and that’s how i construct how i see myself 

ty for reading this post of literally just me rambling about myself if you’re down here to see it. i just like to let the thoughts out at the end of a day and wander through them B’)

[su-dead-dreams]

hi! I really like your blog, it's nice to see someone else who's critical of su without getting super worked up and generally being chill abt it. this question might not be very directly su-related, but how do you feel about white authors writing poc characters?

Ayy, thanks a mil fam! I love laid back shit talking. Now if only I could force my hack ass to actually finish and post something. Ah well. And thanks for this question. I actually feel some kind of way about this, so get ready for some boring shit. 

As for white writers and POC, my simple answer is if it’s good, I don’t give a damn who wrote it. In theory, that works. In practice however...it doesn’t always work well. 

My opinion is that white authors that make things with POC characters can do a good job, but usually only if the character HAPPENS to be black or asian or latinx or whatever. You could argue that it’s cutting them off from their culture, but I think that’s bullshit. I know plenty of POC that live secular western lives and never think about culture or don’t even feel they have one. And that’s fine. There’s no wrong way to be what you feel like you are if you aren’t harming others, and minorities are not a monolith. Only if it’s a just cause thing though. White people making POC characters because they’ve got a quota to fill is lame AF. You can spot it from a mile away because it’s always forced and weird. 

That said, if a lot of the character’s struggles are race related or even if they exist within a culture very different than the author, it’s probably better avoided for a white author. Not because i hate white people. I love lots of white people. Shit, I been kissin white girls since 2004. But I think people, especially POC, look for white people to fuck up shit like that. Why start out with a bias against you, y’know? Plus, yeah, if you do fuck it up it’s gonna come across as being pretty disrespectful, like you couldn’t even bother to get a different perspective or do proper research. This ain’t 1939 and that “ah don’t know nothin’ ‘bout birthin’ no babies,” shit doesn’t fly anymore. Then again, I like white boy Arthur Golden’s “Memoirs of a Geisha”. But you know who doesn’t like that book? Geisha. While the care taken in accurately portraying Japanese cultural understanding and social structure, geisha feel that his book casts an unfairly negative light on their notoriously secretive lives.  Also, he kind of fucked over Mineko Iwasaki, the ex-geisha he interviewed for background info, and that’s no good. 

Personally, as an artist, I think it’s at least a little in bad taste to try and tell stories you aren’t invested in or aren’t yours to tell. I’m Afro-Arab (among other things, holy hell am I a mutt) on my mother’s side, and some of my favorite books, Hirsi Ali’s “Infidel” and Draper’s “Copper Sun” are by black female authors writing about something they felt was theirs to tell. You don’t get that kind of passion without some kind of investment. 

Eh, at the end of the day, people do what they want and make what they want anyway, and I just hope that some small fraction of it is good or at least interesting and not shit. 

[ourlittlebitofnothinguniverse]

Tagged by @snowcatmoon​ ayyyyyyyyy nice thanks i lo v e doing these things

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 people. (but not rly bc i’m a nerd who never knos who to tag so basically if u see this and u wanna try it go for it my dude!)

LAST: 1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: i mean if this is like personal calls it would be my mom calling me @ work but if not it would be a person calling @ work to talk to my boss 3. Text message: uhhhhhh i don’t have a phone so i can’t text but my last fb message was abt my follower count 4. Song you listened to: tally hall - & 5. Time you cried: I frustration cried a little yesterday

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: what is this word, dating 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: kissing? completely foreign concept what’s that 8. Been cheated on: No 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: Have u Seen Me i am a Wreck At All Times 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: never

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. vibrant or saturated Reds 13. greens across all spectrums 14. warm metallic colors like gold or bronze but not silver bc it’s ugly imo

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yah! a precious girl who comes into the library p often, she told me abt the story she’s writing and it’s rly cute nd funny and she’s sweet she gave me some of her ar 16. Fallen out of love: nope 17. Laughed until you cried: often lmao 18. Found out someone was talking about you: idk man i’m boring what would they have to talk abt? my sleep patterns? lmao 20. Found out who your friends are: nah not so far this year 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: there’s that word again!!! kissing what is?

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: can’t remember bc i unfollow them and soft block them from all my posts when it happens so honestly i forget they exist lmao ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 23. Do you have any pets: Yah!!!!!!!! archie my love, and two betta fish! 24. Do you want to change your name: yes plea s e 25. What did you do for your last birthday: uhhhh 26. What time do you wake up: a brief moment at 5 to feed my son (archie) and then usually anywhere from 10:00 AM to 2 PM. Depends if i have work 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: FIGHTING A FUCKING CHEATING AI IN A GAME 28. Name something you can’t wait for: leaving this fucking hole of a town i live in rn

29. When was the last time you saw your mom?: this morning 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: FDAHS;KJL just ONE (1) thing???????? 31. What are you listening to right now: Tally Hall - & idk man i just rly like it

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i..... don’t???? know????? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Being POOR(tm) 34. Most visited website: TUMBLR, YouTube, and fb so i can talk to most of my friends

35. Mole/s: idk 36. Mark/s: idk???? 37. Childhood dream: veterinarian but i gave up on that bc i’m super squeamish 38. Hair color: brown 39. Long or short hair: medium 40. Do you have a crush on someone: what is this crush thing you speak of? 41. What do you like about yourself: i am a god damn fiLTHY TRASH GOBLIN/DEMON AND IT’S FABULOUS 42. Piercings: the standard ear piercing you get when ur little but i’m allergic to metal so i can’t actually wear earrings (however, despite years of never wearing earrings, the holes haven’t actually ever closed so i still could if i wished which i don’t bc no thanks it gets itchy and hurts)

43. Blood type: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 44. Nicknames?: hoo boy okay any and all variations one can spin on my name (rachel) and: squisheebug (nobody calls me that anymore but it’s become my art handle so i still use it for myself), one friend sometimes calls me kitten, and a bunch more tbh i have so many 45. Relationship status: Single Pringle Not Looking To Flamingle 46. Zodiac: libra scorpio cusp 47. Pronouns: She/her 48. Favorite TV Show: mH i am bad at picking just one favorite lmao 50. Right or left hand: Right-handed 51. Surgery: Not technically? i almost had surgery once when i was like eleven bc the doctors srsly thought i had gallstones but it was actually just acute stress and emotional trauma related pain (i also had a lump of tissue removed from my neck but idk if that counts) 52. Hair dyed in different color: i’m scared it would mess my hair up too much 53. Sport: i don’t sport but i love watching ice skating videos 55. Vacation: i have never been on Vacation(tm) unless you count the trip the seniors took after graduation which was just to make sure that we didn’t Do Drugs. However, ideal vacation would be going across the world visiting abandoned and really old (or haunted) places bc i love that shit i eat it up W/ a S p o o n 56. Pair of trainers: is that like... tennis shoes/sneakers? bc?? i have a pair of converse??

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: hot cheetos 58. Drinking: an otter pop 59. I’m about to: get ready for work 62. Want: A house in my very own forest and for nobody i didn’t like to ever visit me and also the complete destruction of capitalism and world peace and the complete deconstruction and rebuilding of our government and far more time in one life than currently exists and abt a billion other things but on the more “realistic” (yeah right not in this economy) sidei just want to not live in an apartment anymore, i want to live in a house (also to meet a bunch of my fav youtubers i’d LOVE that) 63. Get married: maybe idk i’m not violently against it but it’s doubtful 64. Career: i wanna be an animator ahfsdlkjsdafagdfs 65. Hugs or kisses: currently: neither! Hands Off Pls 66. Lips or eyes: both preferably but u kno we can’t be picky 67. Shorter or taller: aaaa who cares?????? 68. Older or younger: doesn’t matter idk 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: both! tummies are so cute and arms are Good for Hugging (when i’m not touch repulsed) 71. Sensitive or loud: what is the correlation between those two they aren’t opposites what 72. Hook up or relationship: bitch miss me w/ hookups if i ever do date somebody it’s gon be ride or die it’s gon be Commi T m e n t(tm) 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: why

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: No 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yah 77. Turned someone down: probably? if so i wouldn’t have known 78. Sex on the first date: St O p 79. Broken someone’s heart: Probably not? i’m not the most Lovable(tm) person, as far as i kno nobody has even liked me lmao 80. Had your heart broken: yah but like?? platonically 81. Been arrested: No 82. Cried when someone died: only ppl i didn’t kno that well have died around me but if i even THINK one of my friends might die i start bawling my eyes out and can’t stop 83. Fallen for a friend: ??

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84: Yourself: sometimes 85. Miracles: yes 86. Love at first sight: nope 87. Santa Claus: yesssssss but the concept of him not the actual jolly fat guy who brings presents. 88. Kiss on the first date: I DON’T UNDERSTAND DATING (just leaving @snowcatmoon‘s response bc i’m laughing rly hard and same)

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: what are u just supposed to have one? 91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movies: *rolls out a mile long list* okay do u want this alphabetically, in order from the first time i watched it? in order of How Many times i’ve watched it or?

i am not going to tag anybody bc i am an eg who doesn’t know ppl to tag so!!!!! if u see this and u wanna try it like i said before!!!! feel free to pls!!! also if u do i’d love it if u tagged me in it bc i’m curious abt who all follows me aaa

[lovethediseasedkillerpuppy]

Since you were getting some mean asks, I thought I'd send you a good one to balance it out! What are your favorite Dean episodes in SPN? (I found that a lot of my faves were generally either Dean or Cas centered) and if you could hang out with Mr. Ackles, what would you want to talk about? :)

Thank you :) The trolls do tend to come in spurts sometimes.

I’m contractually obligated to preface this by saying I always think there’s some Dean goodness in every ep, but if we’re talking whole eps…hmm. These aren’t all my favorite eps & I had to leave off a few eps that had some of my favorite scenes bc it wasn’t a ‘whole’ ep & I didn’t want this list to be a mile long lol.

1x6 Skin: Writing holes aside, I loved this ep for Dean. The 1st 5 eps we got plenty of hints there was a lot more to the guy than this smart alec tough guy he was showing the world but when the shifter started talking about Dean’s thoughts it was our first real look at how much he was really holding in inside & ya knew it was the tip of the iceberg. I wanted to know more asap…& protect him forever.

2x20 What is & Should Never Be: Is there even a Dean girl out there who doesn’t love this ep? You get such a rollercoaster of emotions with this gem. It starts off like wtf is happening but hey this seems ok…some good times…oops, things aren’t perfect here…crap, it’s all fake & I’m actually dying…but it’s kinda better here & I wanna stay. I cry like a baby just thinking abt the graveyard scene & when Dean tells Sam abt it at the end isn’t much better. “I wanted to stay so bad.” nearly killed me. You were right there w Dean every step of the ep. It hurt & it’s all Jensen’s damn fault.

4x16 On The Head of A Pin: This one…I hate to see Dean in pain but I love to watch Jensen act it out lol. It was all so heart-wrenching; from Dean pleading with Cas not to make him go down that road, to him putting on his torturer hat, to becoming the torturee, then him being completely broken mentally & physically at the hospital…gah! Dammit to hell, Ackles. How dare you.

5x4 The End: My favorite episode, period. I loved every damn second of it. In part bc it raised half a million questions & I’d kill for a spin-off series of those 5 years but also the actual ep was perfect. The Deans scenes were amazing. I remember sitting there watching being like Ok, I know he’s the same person & same actor playing him but damn if 2014!Dean wasn’t completely different than Dean. It’s a bit conflicting watching bc part of me is wanting to side with Dean but the other part can completely understand how 2014!Dean became what he did & yes there may be “something broken in him” but he’s still the guy taking care of everyone but himself & he deserved better.I seen a lot of posts saying 2014!Dean went dark/bad but I don’t see it. I see the same Dean we’ve always had who was put in impossible circumstances & he’s beaten, hurt & tired. I’m still pissed he was killed. 

6x5 Live Free or Twihard: I loved Dean bashing the “Twilight” stuff before he became a vamp. And the general badassery when he took out a whole damn nest. I’m just a bit disappointed they didn’t show all the kills but the network threw out a “decapitation limit” lol

9x5 Dog Dean Afternoon: This one just amused the shit out of me & I love dogs so it had to make the list.

9x11 First Born: I’m trash for Dean & Crowley team ups so that part was great. Dean had more of a reckless attitude & I’m a fan of that too. Dean & Cain had a good dynamic. 

9x23 Do You Believe in Miracles: Confession time; I didn’t think Dean becoming a demon was as obvious as a lot of people seemed to so I did enjoy the surprise at the end. That damn death scene *cries for five years* It hurt, PHYSICAL PAIN, to watch. Dean struggling to talk & saying it was better this way...then his last words “I’m proud of us” about damn time he gave himself a little credit. lol I was amused at the beginning that they just left Dean, veteran hunter, locked in a room w the supplies to escape. Really?

S10 Demon!Dean (I’m gonna lump this as 1 ep bc reasons): He was so much fun & “The year of the Deanmon” that the stupid show teased is why I have trust issues! We were robbed!

10x14 The Executioner’s Song: I liked how conflicted Dean was. He didn’t want to kill Cain but he had to kill Cain. He knew it the entire ep yet he still pleaded with Cain to tell him he didn’t have to do it. The fight scene was pretty bad ass. And that look of vulnerability when he fell into Sam’s arms really wrecked me. He was so sure he wasn’t gonna come back from killing Cain.

10x22 The Prisoner: This makes the list bc I’m twisted & I love me some dark homicidal Dean. My annoyance is only that they didn’t show him taking out more of that monster family.

12x11 Regarding Dean: In typical Spn fashion the ep went from amusing to painful. Dean with little bunny!Dean & going on tangents about everyone loving waffles & being the cutest little bean laughing at scooby-doo...then we get smacked in the feels by Dean killing us with that mirror scene. That ending montage with Dean riding the mechanical bull...well, i didn’t know I needed that in my life but I’m glad I found out.

Onto the second question (if ya stuck with my long ass answer lol)

I’d ask Jensen a million questions about behind the scenes stuff. I want to know about all the ad libs that made it into eps that we don’t know. All the script changes that he (or any actor) made, all the times when it said “do/say something Dean would” in his scripts. And then I’d go through a ton of my fav scenes & ask why he did it this that way/what was his motivation/thought process. And I’d like to get some candid answers on what he hasn’t liked, would have done different, dropped plots he’d have like to explore more, anything they haven’t done that he’d like to.

And I’d talk his ear off about how he IS a damn rock star (so he can stop saying no he isn’t, the lil shit) & how awesome it would be if he made a record & offer some helpful suggestions on what songs to cover for it.

And this last one is def shallow but in fantasy land we need no dignity, amirite? We all know damn right well if Spn were on a premiem chanel that Dean’s “craps” & “friggins” would be different words. Jensen has even said as much; that he cringes when friggin is in a script bc that wouldn’t be what Dean would say. So anyhoo, I’d pick a handful of CW edited down lines & have him redo them with what Dean would actually say...in Dean voice, naturally.