#I just like that Hidan doesn't really give compliments

[wispforever]

do you guys think kakuzu's ever really hard on himself bc of his time in the waterfall and then hidan just unknowingly is himself

bonus under the cut

[nail-art-no-jutsu]

I'm thinking about Kakuzu and Hidan and nail polish because ofc I am, and no I don't actually want it to be a jutsu, I want all the Akatsuki to do it the hard way

Kakuzu

he learns quickly and doesn't see why others have trouble with it - especially Hidan

he does one coat and one coat only, to save up, luckily the stuff they all use is quite opaque

he's good at not getting any polish on his fingers, again, cause he wants the bottle to last as long as possible

he doesn't need his hands to turn pages while he reads, he can use his tendrils for that, so he does his nails before reading time and lets them dry

he's grateful for the dark brown, the only thing that would be worse than being partnered with Hidan would have been ending up with one of the bright colors that other Akatsuki members got

Hidan: "So there's something worse than being partnered with me?~ <3" to which Kakuzu glares

Kakuzu won't use nail polish remover cause that costs extra, he waits for that one coat to chip to the point that there's only a little bit left in the middle, and paints a new coat on top of that, and ends up with a number of bumpy layers

he's just efficient at it, it doesn't really look all that great from up close

Hidan

he absolutely sucks at painting his nails. absolutely sucks

no patience, no focus, he'll do one nail and then he'll go "Hey Kakuzu!!" cause he's already done a whole entire nail and he's bored

Kakuzu is still trying to think of some kind of way to get Hidan to associate nail polish with Jashin-sama, but no luck yet, that dark green shade is to blame, why didn't they give him red to remind him of blood? white to remind him of bones?

at one point Hidan learns to weaponize his crappy nail painting skills and make Kakuzu do his nails for him

but not by complimenting him on how much better he is, Hidan already knows that flattery won't get him anywhere - instead he "accidentally" knocks over the bottle and lets it spill, and after a very unpleasant lecture about wasting the product, Kakuzu accepts the reality that it won't get done without him

and the perfect time for that is when Hidan is lying down in his prayer circle

Hidan doesn't really start praying until Kakuzu is done painting his nails though, he likes to watch Kakuzu focus on him so intensely, just like when he stitches him up, and most importantly, he loves knowing that Kakuzu would never ever do this for anyone else <3

[sleepysnk]

A/N: i love deidara sm and i couldn't stop thinking about him, so enjoy these cute little crush headcanons.

characters: deidara

warnings: fluff, canonverse, deidara being a lil cutie <3

Deidara:

- let me just say, I LOVE HIM MORE THAN WORDS CAN DESCRIBE.

- anywho, when deidara has a crush, he does not know how to act. the poor guy is all over the place, and it was no different when you two both first met.

- you joined the akatsuki right after he did, so the both of you got along with each other. he took an interest in you after you complimented his art, which we all know how much this boy appreciates. nobody really seems to be interested in any of his clay creations, except you of course.

- let me get something out there, this boy is young. he is the youngest in the akatsuki in fact, so he definitely wants to experience love or that feeling of having a crush.

- deidara started forming this little crush on you, he'd always make an effort to come and talk to you at least once a day. you were slowly becoming his favorite person, more than sasori which was honestly surprising; but you didn't mind the boys company. he always cracked jokes or told you about how he's working on a new art piece, which is honestly super cute to you.

- HE DOES THE MOST FOR YOU.

- deidara is definitely an acts of service kind of guy, if you want something, he'll get his hands on it for you. he's also made you tons of cute clay creations (that don't explode) and you can't help but smile when he runs over to give it to you.

- totally talks about you to sasori any chance he gets.

- "yeah, y/n is so cute. i wish they could see my art like this all the time,"

- he has a tendency to get a little protective whenever someone gets too close to you, like hidan or itachi. although you two aren't dating, he doesn't want another guy to take you away from him. it would CRUSH him if someone else got to date someone as amazing as you, to him, you are a beautiful piece of art who deserves to be seen by many.

- he tries so hard to get as close to you as he can, he will literally shove kisame to sit next to you.

- lots of random hugs

- the whole akatsuki can clearly see he has a big thing for you, but none of them really bring it up to you because it can be embarrassing. hidan sometimes teases deidara about his little crush in front of you, and deidara wants to throw hands everytime he brings it up.

- he blushes when you compliment him 🥺.

- PLEASE, take care of this boy. he's definitely the type to love hard and liking you is only the beginning, so don't mess with his feelings or put things into his head. he can get a little in over his head sometimes, and it's up to you to assure him all the time.

- I LOVE HIM IM CRYING

[mixelation]

tipsy opinion asks: Do you think any member of the akatsuki actually knows how to flirt?

okay. you know what. akatsuki ranked by ability to flirt (best to worst):

1. Konan - Konan is a pretty lady which means sometimes frequently she says perfectly ordinary things and men think she's flirting with them. I can't see Konan actually trying to flirt very often, but she'd be the best at it for this reason alone.

2. Deidara - The fact that Deidara snagged the number two spot is more of an indication of how terrible everyone below him is than Deidara's actual flirt game. What Deidara has going for him: cute, social, good at conversation as long as he can stay chill. What Deidara has going against him: has never been able to stay chill for more than about seven minutes in a row. He is REALLY good at snagging hook-ups based on the extra mouths thing alone.... but also sometimes he starts screaming about art and the other person just. Has to leave, immediately.

3. Kisame - has successfully picked up people in the past. has some lines he likes to use. their success rate has less to do with what he's saying and more to do if the person he's hitting on likes the idea of hooking up with a giant blue missing-nin smh. is okay at flirty banter but not, like, great? More normal than Deidara but does sometimes make jokes about cutting off children's legs.

4. Hidan - I feel like Hidan is actually... sort of.... okay to hang out with unless he starts talking about religion? Like he enjoys complaining but he's social and conventionally attractive, and I get the impression Hidan would nod along and agree with whatever you want to complain about. So I think Hidan probably does alright right up until the whole Jashin thing comes up, and it will come up. Where as Deidara's art rants are more "(nervous laugh) this guy is sort of nuts" and Kisame's dad jokes about bodily harm are like "Sometimes men just think weird stuff is funny...." Hidan gives off STRONG serial axe murderer vibes.

(As a benchmark: I had a roommate who used to use "Are you a drug dealer?" as a pick up line on tinder. It would work sometimes and I absolutely cannot figure out how, but I think this is about the quality of flirtations you'd get from Hidan.)

5. Kakuzu - Kakuzu doesn't really flirt so much as walk up to you and make an offer. "You're hot. Wanna fuck?" It's not very GOOD flirting but at least he's upfront and honest.

6. Itachi - has read all the literature on seduction. he knows what he's doing, okay, Kisame? (He does not.) Horrible at flirting but sometimes accidentally pick people up anyway because he's acceptably good-looking, smh

7. Pein - Pein wouldn't have the slightest idea how to flirt. He'd probably go for very awkward but sincere compliments like, "I enjoy the way your hair shines in the fire of your burning village." Thank you, Pein.

8. Zetsu - Does not understand what flirting is.

9. Sasori - don't talk to Sasori. You will regret it. Does not flirt and never will. The closest you will get is an incredibly creepy analysis of what type of art he'd turn you into. You thought Hidan had serial killer vibes? You thought Deidara got a little intense? You thought Pein was awkward? Just you fucking wait. Sasori is here.